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nostalgebraist · 4 months ago

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Anthropic's stated "AI timelines" seem wildly aggressive to me.

As far as I can tell, they are now saying that by 2028 – and possibly even by 2027, or late 2026 – something they call "powerful AI" will exist.

And by "powerful AI," they mean... this (source, emphasis mine):

In terms of pure intelligence, it is smarter than a Nobel Prize winner across most relevant fields – biology, programming, math, engineering, writing, etc. This means it can prove unsolved mathematical theorems, write extremely good novels, write difficult codebases from scratch, etc. In addition to just being a “smart thing you talk to”, it has all the “interfaces” available to a human working virtually, including text, audio, video, mouse and keyboard control, and internet access. It can engage in any actions, communications, or remote operations enabled by this interface, including taking actions on the internet, taking or giving directions to humans, ordering materials, directing experiments, watching videos, making videos, and so on. It does all of these tasks with, again, a skill exceeding that of the most capable humans in the world. It does not just passively answer questions; instead, it can be given tasks that take hours, days, or weeks to complete, and then goes off and does those tasks autonomously, in the way a smart employee would, asking for clarification as necessary. It does not have a physical embodiment (other than living on a computer screen), but it can control existing physical tools, robots, or laboratory equipment through a computer; in theory it could even design robots or equipment for itself to use. The resources used to train the model can be repurposed to run millions of instances of it (this matches projected cluster sizes by ~2027), and the model can absorb information and generate actions at roughly 10x-100x human speed. It may however be limited by the response time of the physical world or of software it interacts with. Each of these million copies can act independently on unrelated tasks, or if needed can all work together in the same way humans would collaborate, perhaps with different subpopulations fine-tuned to be especially good at particular tasks.

In the post I'm quoting, Amodei is coy about the timeline for this stuff, saying only that

I think it could come as early as 2026, though there are also ways it could take much longer. But for the purposes of this essay, I’d like to put these issues aside [...]

However, other official communications from Anthropic have been more specific. Most notable is their recent OSTP submission, which states (emphasis in original):

Based on current research trajectories, we anticipate that powerful AI systems could emerge as soon as late 2026 or 2027 [...] Powerful AI technology will be built during this Administration. [i.e. the current Trump administration -nost]

See also here, where Jack Clark says (my emphasis):

People underrate how significant and fast-moving AI progress is. We have this notion that in late 2026, or early 2027, powerful AI systems will be built that will have intellectual capabilities that match or exceed Nobel Prize winners. They’ll have the ability to navigate all of the interfaces… [Clark goes on, mentioning some of the other tenets of "powerful AI" as in other Anthropic communications -nost]

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To be clear, extremely short timelines like these are not unique to Anthropic.

Miles Brundage (ex-OpenAI) says something similar, albeit less specific, in this post. And Daniel Kokotajlo (also ex-OpenAI) has held views like this for a long time now.

Even Sam Altman himself has said similar things (though in much, much vaguer terms, both on the content of the deliverable and the timeline).

Still, Anthropic's statements are unique in being

official positions of the company

extremely specific and ambitious about the details

extremely aggressive about the timing, even by the standards of "short timelines" AI prognosticators in the same social cluster

Re: ambition, note that the definition of "powerful AI" seems almost the opposite of what you'd come up with if you were trying to make a confident forecast of something.

Often people will talk about "AI capable of transforming the world economy" or something more like that, leaving room for the AI in question to do that in one of several ways, or to do so while still failing at some important things.

But instead, Anthropic's definition is a big conjunctive list of "it'll be able to do this and that and this other thing and...", and each individual capability is defined in the most aggressive possible way, too! Not just "good enough at science to be extremely useful for scientists," but "smarter than a Nobel Prize winner," across "most relevant fields" (whatever that means). And not just good at science but also able to "write extremely good novels" (note that we have a long way to go on that front, and I get the feeling that people at AI labs don't appreciate the extent of the gap [cf]). Not only can it use a computer interface, it can use every computer interface; not only can it use them competently, but it can do so better than the best humans in the world. And all of that is in the first two paragraphs – there's four more paragraphs I haven't even touched in this little summary!

Re: timing, they have even shorter timelines than Kokotajlo these days, which is remarkable since he's historically been considered "the guy with the really short timelines." (See here where Kokotajlo states a median prediction of 2028 for "AGI," by which he means something less impressive than "powerful AI"; he expects something close to the "powerful AI" vision ["ASI"] ~1 year or so after "AGI" arrives.)

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I, uh, really do not think this is going to happen in "late 2026 or 2027."

Or even by the end of this presidential administration, for that matter.

I can imagine it happening within my lifetime – which is wild and scary and marvelous. But in 1.5 years?!

The confusing thing is, I am very familiar with the kinds of arguments that "short timelines" people make, and I still find the Anthropic's timelines hard to fathom.

Above, I mentioned that Anthropic has shorter timelines than Daniel Kokotajlo, who "merely" expects the same sort of thing in 2029 or so. This probably seems like hairsplitting – from the perspective of your average person not in these circles, both of these predictions look basically identical, "absurdly good godlike sci-fi AI coming absurdly soon." What difference does an extra year or two make, right?

But it's salient to me, because I've been reading Kokotajlo for years now, and I feel like I basically get understand his case. And people, including me, tend to push back on him in the "no, that's too soon" direction. I've read many many blog posts and discussions over the years about this sort of thing, I feel like I should have a handle on what the short-timelines case is.

But even if you accept all the arguments evinced over the years by Daniel "Short Timelines" Kokotajlo, even if you grant all the premises he assumes and some people don't – that still doesn't get you all the way to the Anthropic timeline!

To give a very brief, very inadequate summary, the standard "short timelines argument" right now is like:

Over the next few years we will see a "growth spurt" in the amount of computing power ("compute") used for the largest LLM training runs. This factor of production has been largely stagnant since GPT-4 in 2023, for various reasons, but new clusters are getting built and the metaphorical car will get moving again soon. (See here)

By convention, each "GPT number" uses ~100x as much training compute as the last one. GPT-3 used ~100x as much as GPT-2, and GPT-4 used ~100x as much as GPT-3 (i.e. ~10,000x as much as GPT-2).

We are just now starting to see "~10x GPT-4 compute" models (like Grok 3 and GPT-4.5). In the next few years we will get to "~100x GPT-4 compute" models, and by 2030 will will reach ~10,000x GPT-4 compute.

If you think intuitively about "how much GPT-4 improved upon GPT-3 (100x less) or GPT-2 (10,000x less)," you can maybe convince yourself that these near-future models will be super-smart in ways that are difficult to precisely state/imagine from our vantage point. (GPT-4 was way smarter than GPT-2; it's hard to know what "projecting that forward" would mean, concretely, but it sure does sound like something pretty special)

Meanwhile, all kinds of (arguably) complementary research is going on, like allowing models to "think" for longer amounts of time, giving them GUI interfaces, etc.

All that being said, there's still a big intuitive gap between "ChatGPT, but it's much smarter under the hood" and anything like "powerful AI." But...

...the LLMs are getting good enough that they can write pretty good code, and they're getting better over time. And depending on how you interpret the evidence, you may be able to convince yourself that they're also swiftly getting better at other tasks involved in AI development, like "research engineering." So maybe you don't need to get all the way yourself, you just need to build an AI that's a good enough AI developer that it improves your AIs faster than you can, and then those AIs are even better developers, etc. etc. (People in this social cluster are really keen on the importance of exponential growth, which is generally a good trait to have but IMO it shades into "we need to kick off exponential growth and it'll somehow do the rest because it's all-powerful" in this case.)

And like, I have various disagreements with this picture.

For one thing, the "10x" models we're getting now don't seem especially impressive – there has been a lot of debate over this of course, but reportedly these models were disappointing to their own developers, who expected scaling to work wonders (using the kind of intuitive reasoning mentioned above) and got less than they hoped for.

And (in light of that) I think it's double-counting to talk about the wonders of scaling and then talk about reasoning, computer GUI use, etc. as complementary accelerating factors – those things are just table stakes at this point, the models are already maxing out the tasks you had defined previously, you've gotta give them something new to do or else they'll just sit there wasting GPUs when a smaller model would have sufficed.

And I think we're already at a point where nuances of UX and "character writing" and so forth are more of a limiting factor than intelligence. It's not a lack of "intelligence" that gives us superficially dazzling but vapid "eyeball kick" prose, or voice assistants that are deeply uncomfortable to actually talk to, or (I claim) "AI agents" that get stuck in loops and confuse themselves, or any of that.

We are still stuck in the "Helpful, Harmless, Honest Assistant" chatbot paradigm – no one has seriously broke with it since that Anthropic introduced it in a paper in 2021 – and now that paradigm is showing its limits. ("Reasoning" was strapped onto this paradigm in a simple and fairly awkward way, the new "reasoning" models are still chatbots like this, no one is actually doing anything else.) And instead of "okay, let's invent something better," the plan seems to be "let's just scale up these assistant chatbots and try to get them to self-improve, and they'll figure it out." I won't try to explain why in this post (IYI I kind of tried to here) but I really doubt these helpful/harmless guys can bootstrap their way into winning all the Nobel Prizes.

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All that stuff I just said – that's where I differ from the usual "short timelines" people, from Kokotajlo and co.

But OK, let's say that for the sake of argument, I'm wrong and they're right. It still seems like a pretty tough squeeze to get to "powerful AI" on time, doesn't it?

In the OSTP submission, Anthropic presents their latest release as evidence of their authority to speak on the topic:

In February 2025, we released Claude 3.7 Sonnet, which is by many performance benchmarks the most powerful and capable commercially-available AI system in the world.

I've used Claude 3.7 Sonnet quite a bit. It is indeed really good, by the standards of these sorts of things!

But it is, of course, very very far from "powerful AI." So like, what is the fine-grained timeline even supposed to look like? When do the many, many milestones get crossed? If they're going to have "powerful AI" in early 2027, where exactly are they in mid-2026? At end-of-year 2025?

If I assume that absolutely everything goes splendidly well with no unexpected obstacles – and remember, we are talking about automating all human intellectual labor and all tasks done by humans on computers, but sure, whatever – then maybe we get the really impressive next-gen models later this year or early next year... and maybe they're suddenly good at all the stuff that has been tough for LLMs thus far (the "10x" models already released show little sign of this but sure, whatever)... and then we finally get into the self-improvement loop in earnest, and then... what?

They figure out to squeeze even more performance out of the GPUs? They think of really smart experiments to run on the cluster? Where are they going to get all the missing information about how to do every single job on earth, the tacit knowledge, the stuff that's not in any web scrape anywhere but locked up in human minds and inaccessible private data stores? Is an experiment designed by a helpful-chatbot AI going to finally crack the problem of giving chatbots the taste to "write extremely good novels," when that taste is precisely what "helpful-chatbot AIs" lack?

I guess the boring answer is that this is all just hype – tech CEO acts like tech CEO, news at 11. (But I don't feel like that can be the full story here, somehow.)

And the scary answer is that there's some secret Anthropic private info that makes this all more plausible. (But I doubt that too – cf. Brundage's claim that there are no more secrets like that now, the short-timelines cards are all on the table.)

It just does not make sense to me. And (as you can probably tell) I find it very frustrating that these guys are out there talking about how human thought will basically be obsolete in a few years, and pontificating about how to find new sources of meaning in life and stuff, without actually laying out an argument that their vision – which would be the common concern of all of us, if it were indeed on the horizon – is actually likely to occur on the timescale they propose.

It would be less frustrating if I were being asked to simply take it on faith, or explicitly on the basis of corporate secret knowledge. But no, the claim is not that, it's something more like "now, now, I know this must sound far-fetched to the layman, but if you really understand 'scaling laws' and 'exponential growth,' and you appreciate the way that pretraining will be scaled up soon, then it's simply obvious that –"

No! Fuck that! I've read the papers you're talking about, I know all the arguments you're handwaving-in-the-direction-of! It still doesn't add up!

#ai tag #no matter how things go i'm sure this will be fun to revisit in 2 years...

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ac1dmeow · 17 days ago

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Do you have any general hc for Powder or Jinx? I’m curious about your ideas 🍒

general headcanons 4 jinx & pow ✧˚ ⋆｡˚*ੈ𑁍༘⋆

notes: sfw, fluff, very little angst, little mentions of x f!reader, mentions of alcohol, not a v long list :,( srry

🌸 : ̗̀➛ powder

༯ she does math equations for fun because she’s a loonie. yes she’s teased for it even by ekko who’s equally a nerd but just hides it better. you think it’s incredibly hot how effortlessly smart she is

༯ she loves heading to the lake during summer and spending the day there basking in the sun’s warmth and cooling off in the calm waters

༯ she likes drawing on people to give them temporary tattoos (she has the decency to not draw a penis)

༯ she low-key loves her florals but enjoys adding a neon twist!! that goes for doodling, sewing, painting, pillow covers, etc

༯ she still can’t get the hang of cutting her own hair but she’s accepted it at this point. she lets you do it from time to time :>

༯ after vi passed away in the accident, mylo finally locked the fuck in and dropped the jackass act. it took some time because it had became habit, but soon the two including claggor grew much closer as family

༯ as grown ups mylo now actually really respects powder which is deserved

༯ powder i think studies something along the margins of mechanics at the academy. she’s there building things, wielding metal, using complex math and quantum physics to invent complicated machines/trinkets bigger and smaller. the girl is gettin them hands dirty in those classrooms

༯ possibly has a dorm there during the school year located on one of the middle floors, which she decorates similarly to her bedroom at home; neatly made purple bedsheets, random boxes and tools such as hammers and wrenches scattered about, a cluttered desk stained with ink and blemished with unknown scratches, posters of her favourite artists, drawings and sticky notes with doodles of you and her surrounded by hearts or other random illustrations

༯ despite the obvious busyness in her dorm, she still always manages to find the time to keep it clean and smelling nice. she never leaves food around to go bad, there’s minimal dust, she keeps the curtains drawn and windows open to let in the fresh air while a candle or incense burns

༯ yet somehow she’s terrible with plants

༯ powder lacks sleep sometimes not because she struggles to, but because she gets so hyper focused on her projects (both school and personal ones) and chasing that feeling of accomplishment, that she wants to get them finished as soon as possible. and that includes pulling an all nighter if she has to. she’s a healthy girl, and she puts the well-being of others on a high pedestal as well because she cares. but sometimes she un-admittedly forgets about herself and lets slide the consequences of her risky choices

༯ she has to be physically forced to bed. sometimes—especially if she’s high on her fourth cup of coffee—you gotta fight tooth and nail to tuck her into her bed and under the damn covers. other nights you’re lucky and she’s so exhausted that she allows herself to be dragged like a brainless zombie back to bed

༯ she’s an early bird! likes to get up at 8:00 or 9:00 am to brush her teeth, shower (she showers at night occasionally before bed), and get dressed to get a head start on her day

༯ she usually follows a schedule to plan her days ahead, especially if she knows that she’ll have a lot going on. it helps her feel organized and clear headed, so she has a calendar at home and a notebook that she takes with her every where to jot things down

༯ our sweet girl likes to doodle and skrapbook :3 because she’s a cute little artist. in fact, she shares one with her girlfriend (you), so you guys can document the story of your journeys together ^.^

༯ she collects wild flowers on her random trips outside to place them in vases in her room. she likes the smell and the look of them

༯ when you two are on walks she’ll stop to pick one and tuck it behind your ear and call you “princess pollen”. ‘cause get it? pollen? flowers have pollen? yeah

༯ she keeps polaroid photos taped on her walls above her bed, and a memory box full of them underneath her bed

༯ she really likes to collect and cherish small things. so the memory box under her bed is also filled with more obvious things like friendship bracelets, to lesser obvious things like an old cherry lipgloss (it was the lipgloss you were wearing when you two kissed for the first time)

༯ despite her quieter and more composed nature, i think she still likes to let loose once in a while to go to an upbeat concert and drink with friends

༯ that being said, she’s responsible with her alcohol but she doesn’t have a hard time getting crunk. she’s usually the one holding onto you or others to prevent them from tipping over, but she’s been on the other end a few times herself

༯ in fact one time she fell into a bunch of flower pots in front of a florist’s shop and got yelled at when they broke and the dirt spilled everywhere. she had to get lifted back onto her feet and you and other drunk friends had to pull her away while apologizing profusely

༯ to end powder’s section on a sadder note (sorry), she had a time in her life as a young teen where she struggled while questioning her sexuality. (even though I headcanon the planet arcane takes place on doesn’t have labels on sexuality, i do think some forms of homophobia could potentially exist)

༯ the worst part of it though was coming to the realization that she liked you, her best friend since childhood. and she feared so much that it would be ruined and she’d lose you if her feelings came to the surface and got revealed :,(

༯ but now you’re thriving and cute wonderful girlfriends, yippiee!! <3

🌸 : ̗̀➛ jinx

༯ she never learned her lesson and still tries to eat soap to find out if it tastes god

༯ never expect her to show up on time. she’s on her own schedule

༯ she’s scatterbrained most of the time. but can get very focused on her projects, and she locks in when she’s in combat in the blink of an eye

༯ i think sevika trained her how to fight while growing up, even if it wasn’t super often. because i believe jinx would’ve been a bit reluctant to allow her to teach her due to feeling weak in comparison

༯ building upon that, receiving help from people is something she avoids in general because again, it makes her feel weak and dependent which she relates with ‘powder’. it can even be something she does subconsciously without really noticing until someone points it out

༯ she’s definitely prone to getting hyper fixated. it could be about the smallest thing and could last for who knows how long. and then suddenly it’s gone like it was never on her mind

༯ has loved the stars since childhood! even though now she doesn’t really talk about them anymore. i think it has something to do with never having had the privilege of being able to see the sky clearly all that much while growing up. and to her, the stars look peaceful and quiet all the while emanating their own natural warm light during a prolonged time of chilled darkness

༯ she has a BIG fear of ending up alone. who woulda thought!

༯ she’s bad with small talk. absolutely hates it because she thinks it’s boring. wanna charm her or have a proper conversation with her? don’t start with that nonsense or else she’s throwing a smoke bomb at you for her own theatrics and jumping away laughing

༯ gives in to the intrusive thoughts. the ones that tell her to take a bite out of a block of butter or stick a finger in peanut butter

༯ struggles with sleep but when she does she sleeps like a bear in hibernation. if you pour a glass of water over her face all you’re getting is gurgles without an eye batted

༯ to add onto her sleeping habits, she suddenly turns into a professional contortionist in her sleep. she’s half off the bed, head having moved to the other end sometime halfway through the night, legs facing the opposite direction of her torso. she’s been found sleeping like this more than once. however once in a while she’ll sleep in a fetal position the whole night

༯ she also clings like a koala, her limbs stay wrapped around you in a protective vice grip for the majority of the night. yet it feels so comfortable every time. her body manages to make you feel warm and content while you fall asleep with a small smile and your face buried in her shirt

༯ you can always hear her approaching with those big ass boots she wears. but there will be odd times where you literally don’t hear her at all and she scares the soul out of you even without meaning to

༯ she’ll pat the top of your head as she walks passed you! tee-hee 🤭

༯ she blasts her music in her hideout all the time while working or doing the most mundane tasks. i think we all know this though

༯ lord knows where she gets it all, but her bed always has a messy pile of blankets and pillows on it yet it’s one of the most comfortable spots you’ll sit or lay on

༯ this might be a debatable one but i imagine she came across that giant fan room one day when she needed to clear her head and desperately find a place to hide by herself. it’s not located that anywhere near the last drop either

༯ somehow she still faces noice complaints despite being far away enough from other people and the public

༯ she likes to collect things like powder does, however the things she collects from you are posted up in her base like trophies. she likes her privacy, yes. but when it comes to you, she shows you off all the time. she relishes in being able to brag about it and laugh in the faces of jealous men who wish they can have you but they can’t. because you’re hers she she’s yours

༯ she low-key doesn’t know how to swim that well but she still manages somehow. she has no fear. if she can drink water she can float in water.

༯ she kinda likes the rain too. if you get caught in it or there’s nothing else you two are doing inside, she’ll drag you into an open area and dance with you

a/n: i always end up thinking of even more later </3 so ask me again whenever these are nice to think about !!

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especially-obsessed · 2 months ago

Text

Far Behind

Summary: Jacob doesn’t know what’s right in front of him

Pairing: Jacob Black x fem!reader

Warnings: angst, jealousy, depictions of depression, fluff, Jacob being a dummy

Word count: 2.8k

a/n: ik no one asked for this but I did it anyways (; I also have no mechanical knowledge and used what I’ve heard from friends talking about their vehicles

Masterlist | Jacob's Playlist

You wiped the grease from your hands on your worn-out jeans, smudging dark streaks across your thighs. The sound of Jacob’s laughter rumbled through the garage as he leaned over the truck’s engine, flashing you that lopsided grin that made your heart stumble.

“This thing’s a piece of junk,” you muttered, pulling at a stubborn bolt.

Jake just chuckled, handing you a wrench without missing a beat. “Maybe, but it’s my junk. You’re just mad it’s fighting you.”

You smirked, elbowing him playfully. “You gonna help, or just stand there looking pretty?”

He shot you a look, eyes warm and teasing. “Both.”

That was Jacob: a blend of strength and softness, always knowing how to make you smile. You’d been by his side for as long as you could remember, practically raised in the warmth of his family’s garage. Fixing cars, wrestling in the backyard, teasing Embry until he tackled you into the mud. You were always just one of the guys.

But then Bella came back.

It had been one of those rare, good days. You were hanging out at Jacob’s place, helping him and Embry piece together a custom surfboard rack that Jacob insisted would make the garage look “less like a junkyard.” Quil was sprawled out on the old couch, tossing a wrench into the air and catching it lazily. The garage was filled with the familiar smell of sawdust and oil, and mixed perfectly with the occasional burst of laughter whenever Quil dropped the tool or Embry accidentally smashed his thumb.

Jacob was on his knees beside a pile of driftwood, measuring pieces and sketching out plans on a scrap of paper. You couldn’t help but grin when he frowned at the diagram, chewing on the end of his pencil like it had personally offended him.

“Pretty sure that’s not how math works, genius,” you teased, nudging his shoulder with your own.

He shot you a playful glare, shoving your hand away. “You’re just mad you didn’t come up with the idea first.”

Quil snorted from the couch. “Dude, it’s a surfboard rack, not the Eiffel Tower.”

“Yeah, but it’s gotta be sturdy,” Jacob argued, holding up one of the larger pieces of wood. “These boards aren’t light.”

You took the plank from his hands, pretending to weigh it dramatically. “Oh no, the mighty surfboard! Whatever shall we do?”

Jacob rolled his eyes, but his smile never faltered. He was about to fire back with some smart remark when the distant rumble of an engine made everyone pause. You glanced over your shoulder, recognizing the sound of an old truck pulling up.

Embry squinted, tilting his head. “Is that…?”

Before anyone could answer, Jacob straightened up, eyes wide and alert as the old red Chevy came into view. His entire demeanor changed, like someone had flipped a switch. He dropped the wood without a second thought and was already moving, practically sprinting out of the garage.

You turned to look just in time to see him skid to a stop in front of the truck as Bella hopped out, looking a little unsure. Jacob didn’t hesitate. He grabbed her around the waist, lifting her off the ground and spinning her like she was weightless.

“Bella! Where the hell have you been, Loca?” he laughed, voice full of warmth and relief.

Your stomach dropped. The way he looked at her—so effortlessly happy—made your chest ache. You couldn’t take your eyes off them, even though every second felt like a knife twisting deeper.

Quil cleared his throat behind you, clearly caught off guard. “Damn… lhe didn’t even say bye,” he muttered, tossing the wrench back into the toolbox.

Embry shot you a look, catching the way your shoulders had tensed. “Guess he’s got his hands full,” he murmured, trying to sound nonchalant but failing.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and forced a weak smile. “Yeah. Guess so.”

It shouldn’t have hurt this much. You’d seen Jacob happy before; seen him tease you with that same bright grin. But it was different when it wasn’t directed at you. You hadn’t realized how much you depended on being the reason behind that smile.

Jacob kept talking to Bella, his hands lingering on her shoulders, his smile never faltering. You didn’t even hear what they were saying anymore, your heartbeat thundering in your ears.

Quil nudged your arm lightly. “You good?”

You couldn’t look at him. “Yeah,” you mumbled. “Just… didn’t know she was coming by.”

Embry muttered something about needing to find another part, slipping outside to give you some space. Quil stayed put, shifting uncomfortably, clearly unsure of what to do.

Jacob didn’t even glance back at the garage, too busy catching up with Bella, his smile brighter than it had been in days. You couldn’t help but feel like you were watching something slip right through your fingers, and no matter how hard you tried to hold on, it was already gone.

Quil moved towards you and placed a hand on your shoulder, squeezing lightly. “He’s just…caught up, you know?”

You forced a smile, but it didn’t reach your eyes. “Yeah. I know.”

You just wished it didn’t hurt so damn much

Quil nudged your arm lightly, his voice softer than usual. “You good?”

You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, afraid your face might give you away. “Yeah,” you mumbled.

Embry leaned in on the back doorway and huffed out a breath, glancing at the scene unfolding just outside. “Man, I didn’t think he’d ditch us that fast.”

You forced a weak laugh, trying to keep your voice steady. “Neither did I.”

The atmosphere in the garage felt suffocating, like the walls were closing in, and the air had gotten too heavy to breathe. You wiped your hands on a rag, even though they were already clean (or as clean as they could be without washing them), trying to keep busy.

Quil glanced between you and the open garage door, his face twisted in mild discomfort. “Maybe we should just…head out. Give him space or…whatever.”

Embry nodded in agreement, not needing to be told twice. “Yeah. I could use some food anyway.” He shot you a careful look, like he was trying to gauge whether you’d follow or not.

You swallowed the tight knot forming in your throat and nodded. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

The three of you moved quietly, slipping out the back of the garage so you wouldn’t have to walk past Jacob and Bella. The cool air hit your face as you stepped outside, and you shivered. Embry and Quil were already chatting, trying to lighten the mood with some joke about the last bonfire. Instead of walking with them to the left, you turned right.

Once you were alone, the tightness in your chest only got worse. You pressed your palm against your ribs, as if you could physically hold yourself together. Your throat felt raw, and you didn’t understand why the urge to cry was suddenly so overwhelming.

You hated how pathetic it felt to want to cry over something that shouldn’t matter this much. You stopped to lean against a tree, closing your eyes and forcing yourself to breathe slowly. You couldn’t cry over this. You had no right to cry over Jacob being happy, even if it wasn’t with you.

But no matter how hard you tried, the ache in your chest refused to go away. You wiped at your eyes before any tears could fall, pulling yourself together.

Taking a shaky breath, you shoved your hands into your pockets and kept walking.

In the weeks that followed, you tried not to let it bother you. Bella had been his friend long before you even knew what love felt like. But things were different now. Bella wasn’t just a friend to Jacob; she was a magnet, and he was drawn to her without a second thought.

Jacob had always been like a brother to you. That’s what you told yourself, at least. That’s what you’d always thought. But when he wasn’t there anymore—spending all his time with her—you started to realize just how much of your world he really was.

You hadn’t noticed how much you relied on him, how the little moments—his hand squeezing your shoulder, his laughter bouncing around the garage, his fingers brushing yours as he handed you a wrench—had made your day lighter. Without him, everything felt heavier. Darker. You tried to shake it off, but it stuck to you like damp clothes, dragging you down.

The boys noticed too. Embry would invite you out, and sometimes you’d force yourself to go, but it didn’t feel the same. Quil would try to crack a joke, and you’d laugh, but it was hollow. You found yourself spending more time alone, wandering the beach or hiding in the garage, hoping the familiar grease and metal smell would remind you of the old days.

But it didn’t. It couldn’t.

You hadn’t meant to fall into this quiet sadness, but it happened so gradually you didn’t notice it at first. The long nights where you couldn’t sleep, staring at your phone and willing Jacob to text like he used to. The days where you didn’t bother to eat lunch because your appetite had faded. Your energy drained out of you like a leaky faucet, slowly and then all at once.

You didn’t tell anyone. You couldn’t. How could you explain that you missed your best friend so much it hurt to breathe sometimes? Or that every time you saw him with Bella, your heart clenched like it was being squeezed too tight?

One afternoon, the boys invited you out to La Push. You hesitated at first but agreed. Maybe Jacob would be there. You threw on your wetsuit, packed your board, and tried to muster some excitement. Some energy. Maybe this would be the day things went back to normal. Hopefully.

But when you got there, it was just Quil, Embry, and a few others from your social circle. You looked around, searching for that familiar tall frame, but he wasn’t there.

“Hey, where’s Jake?” you asked, trying to sound casual.

Quil shrugged. “Said he might meet us here. Guess he got caught up.”

Your stomach sank, but you didn’t say anything. You followed the boys into the water, paddling out, but it was hard to enjoy it. Your mind kept drifting back, wondering if he even remembered that he said he might come. You couldn’t help but feel stupid for hoping.

After about an hour, you gave up and dragged your board onto the sand, sitting alone while the guys kept surfing. The usual noise of waves crashing and the boys yelling didn’t drown out the ache building in your chest.

You were poking at the sand with a stick when Embry came up beside you, water dripping off his hair as he flopped down. He nudged your shoulder with his own, a small smirk on his lips.

“Why the long face, grease monkey?” he teased, though his tone was softer than usual.

You shrugged, kicking a shell with your toe. “It’s nothing.”

Embry scoffed, brushing some sand off his arms. “I call bull. You’ve been moping around since Bella came back. Thought you “didn’t care”.” He said, using finger quotes dramatically.

Your stomach twisted, and you glared at the horizon, feeling the cool sea mist sting your cheeks. “I don’t care. Just…sucks when your best friend drops you for someone else, you know?”

He sighed, giving you a side-eye. “We all see it, you know. You and Jake. Everyone knows you’re crazy about him. Except maybe him.”

Your cheeks burned, and you shot him a look. “Shut up.”

He just laughed, slinging an arm around your shoulders. “He’s crazy about you too.” He paused for a moment, then added, “If I were you, I’d stop waiting around. You’re too good to be his backup plan.”

You didn’t say anything, just leaned into Embry’s side, wishing his words didn’t hit so hard. The ocean waves crashed in the background, but the rhythm didn’t soothe you like it used to. Instead, it just felt like a reminder that everything kept moving, whether you were ready or not.

Embry squeezed your shoulder gently, his voice more serious than usual. “He’s dumb, you know. If I were him, I wouldn’t let you out of my sight.”

You gave him a weak smile, not really believing it. “You’re just saying that because you hate seeing me mope.” You give a weak smile and lean into his side.

He just shrugged. “Maybe. But it’s true. You’re too good for him, even if he doesn’t see it.”

You didn’t know what to say to that, so you just let the words hang in the salty air. The ache in your chest doesn’t ease, but it felt a little less suffocating with Embry beside you

You were lying flat on your back on the old car creeper, half-buried under the truck as you tinkered with the stubborn exhaust pipe. You heard the familiar heavy footsteps approaching but didn’t bother to look. You already knew who it was.

“Hey,” Jacob’s voice called, tentative and soft.

You kept working, your movements more forceful than necessary. He shifted his weight, his shadow blocking some of the dim light. “Where you been?” you muttered, trying to sound indifferent.

“Around. With Bella.”

Your jaw clenched, but you stayed focused on the truck. “Hope you’re having fun.”

Jacob let out a frustrated breath. Before you knew it, his hands grabbed the edge of the creeper, yanking you out from under the truck. You yelped, hands automatically bracing against his chest.

“What the hell, Jacob?” you snapped, but he just loomed over you, eyes narrowed.

“No more hiding,” he muttered, kneeling down and keeping a firm grip on the creeper’s edge so you couldn’t slide back under. “What’s going on with you? Where have you been lately?”

You huffed and wiped a smudge of grease off your cheek. The audacity of him to ask where you had been, as if he hadn’t ditched the last dozen things you or the guys invited him to. “Nothing,” you bite out. “Just didn’t think you’d notice I wasn’t around.”

His brows drew together, guilt flashing across his face. “Why would you think that?”

You glanced away. “You’ve been busy.”

Jacob sighed, his voice softer now. “I guess I didn’t think it was bothering you this much.”

Just say it you coward.

Your eyes stayed fixed on the garage ceiling, unable to look him in the eyes as you mutter, “feels like I’m just one of the guys to you.”

Panicking, you didn’t give him a chance to respond. You shoved at his arms and got up, brushing past him as you tried to keep your voice steady. “Forget it. I’m done feeling like I don’t matter to you.”

Jacob’s hand shot out, grabbing your wrist and spinning you back around. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” he demanded, his voice rougher than before.

You glared at him, yanking your hand free. “It means I’m done playing second to her. I’m done being the one you come to only when she’s not around. I’m not your backup plan, Jake!”

His jaw clenched, his eyes flashing with something between anger and hurt. “You’re not a backup. Why would you think that?”

“Because that’s how you make me feel!” you shot back, your voice cracking. “Like I’m just one of the guys,” you say in a mocking voice. “Just a friend you used to hang out with before she showed up and took you away!”

Jacob took a step closer, and you didn’t back down, even though your heart was pounding. “You know that’s not true,” he argued, voice dropping lower.

“Then what is it, Jake?” you challenged, shoving at his chest. “Why do I feel like I’m not important to you anymore? Why does it feel like I’m the only one who cares? You show more interest in those damned bikes than you do-”

His hands moved faster than you expected, cupping your face and pulling you in before you could process it. His lips crashed into yours, fierce and desperate, like he was trying to prove something with the way his mouth moved against yours. You froze, hands instinctively going to his wrists, but then the anger melted, replaced by heat spreading through your veins. You kissed him back, your fingers digging into his skin.

When he pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, his breath ragged. “You’re not just one of the guys,” he whispered, his voice softer, rawer. “You’re everything. You always have been. I just—I didn’t know how to say it.”

Your hands slowly moved up to his jaw, your heart still racing. You bottom lip trembled as you spoke: “then why did you leave me?”

His thumbs brushed your cheeks, wiping away a stray tear. “Because I didn’t think I deserved you. And when Bella came back, I thought…I thought maybe it was better to just let you go before I screwed it up.”

You couldn’t help the weak laugh that bubbled out, more relief than humor. “You’re such an idiot.”

He smiled, pressing another soft kiss to your lips.

You couldn’t help but smile back. A weight lifted from your chest, no longer suffocating you. Jacob came back.

Jacob.

Your Jacob.

Masterlist

a/n: I just binge watched the series and now feel like I need to reread the series <3

Taglist:

Let me know if you would like to be added to a taglist < 3

#jacob black #jacob black x reader #especially obsessed #twilight #jacob black fluff #team jacob #team edward #edward cullen #bella swan

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reallyromealone · 2 months ago

Text

Title: Tokyo host club

Chapter: 5

Fandom: Ouran high school Host club x Tokyo revengers

Genre: fluff

Warning: omegaverse, Omega male reader, alpha host club, Sano reader, slight sexism, reader has tude

🌜🌛🌜🌛🌜🌛🌜🌛🌜🌛🌜🌛🌜🌛🌜🌛🌜🌛

(name) was excited when he saw where Mitsukuni was taking him on their first date, getting approved by (name)s eldest brother to be with him unnatended, something that the blond wasn't going to take for granted.

(Name) Only went to the Tokyo science museum a few times in his life, between school and making sure his siblings didn't die, he didn't have a lot of free time-- and his side hustles didn't help with time management either. "I got us the VIP tickets! We get to see all the cool stuff and the space show!" Mitsukuni said excitedly and (name) tried to not seem overly excited but the Sano couldn't help but smile softly, eyes glittering a bit.

(Name) Excitedly explained everything, how things worked and the passion in his voice... Mitsukuni couldn't look away.

And the way he looked back at the Alpha... The pure unfiltered love for science and math.

That's when mitsukuni fell in love.

He fell so in love.

It wasn't until later into the night when they walked to the theatre, a large dome with a hologram projector in the middle. (Name) And Mitsukuni got the best seats and the two listened closely and being a risk taker, mitsukuni took (name)s hand; he was so happy when (name) laced their fingers. The host explained planetary alignment, every star and the paths they take.

After the show, (name) Was confused when two employees handed them gift bags and a thank you to mitsukuni for his donations to the children's learning centre, a free program for children to learn science and free summer camps. "You did that?" (Name) Asked when they got into the limo, a soft smile on his face and Mitsukuni shook his head "nope! I put it in your name so you did it!"

"I- I don't know what to say"

"Don't say anything, just enjoy!" Mitsukuni beamed and (name) looked at him softly.

(Name) Treated Mitsukuni to dinner after, nothing fancy but the diner had a great selection of sweets and (food flavor), mitsukuni not caring if he got whipped cream on his expensive shirt and chatted with (name) about the science centre, (name) listening and occasionally chiming in.

"Did you like the tool set?" Mitsukuni suddenly asked and (name) nodded "its-- it's great, thank you... My clubmates were impressed at your selection" (name) said with a bit of a grin "I'm going to be using them on my bike when I get home"

"What about your homework?"

"I finished that waiting for you"

"I forgot you're super smart" mitsukuni mumbled sweetly and (name) snorted "you really don't see how smart you are, do you?" The blond asked and (name) shrugged "I know-- I know I'm smart I just don't like making it my personality" he explained before continuing "If an alpha shows off their talent and is prideful in it they are seen as ahead of the game and brilliant but if an Omega does, they're seen as rude and obnoxious"

Mitsukuni didn't think about that, staring at (name) with a look that the Omega couldn't quite recognize but the Alpha decided at that moment he was going to see that (name) could be who he was without fear of judgement.

The two chatted away about school and life things "my grandpa wants to meet you, don't worry you don't have to fight another person he only fights Mikey now to keep him from doing dumb stuff" he said taking a bite of his food and Mitsukuni giggled a bit at the image "he's the only one who I know can beat Mikey"

Mitsukuni was curious about he mysterious grandpa, wanting to make a good impression to the elderly man who raised all five of the Sanos. When the moon grew higher, Mitsukuni brought (name) home and refused to let the Omega carry the things the Alpha got him at the science centre claiming that he shouldn't have to worry about these things with him around, the Omega opening the front door and letting the other put it inside before the two stood outside and (name) fidgeted a bit "tonight was fun... Uh, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I'll see you tomorrow, (name)" the blond smiled softly with warmth in his eyes before leaning and kissing (name) gently, (name) looked stunned but his scent gave him away at how happy he was. "Sleep well, (nickname)" the host club member then turned and left, (name) walking into his house and grabbing his stuff before rushing to his bedroom, ears burning.

(Name) Couldn't repress his giggles and joy, immediately pulling out the yarn and crochet hook and determined to make the alphas stuffed rabbit a perfect sweater.

It took a week of nonstop crocheting at any available moment he could spare and countless mistakes but... He made a cute little sweater for the toy.

And honestly? He was pretty proud of it, working on it all week made it smell like him and it was a soft yarn that was clearly real and not acrylic like he had seen at hobby stores when he went with Emma. He was a little nervous to give it to the alpha, he knew he would like it... He would like it right?

Oh god what if he didn't like it?!

He was rich, he could probably buy a billion of sweaters just like this!

(Name) Shoved the little sweater in his bag before going to class, trying to not think of the idea of giving this to the alpha.

When he got in, he quietly got his things together and not paying attention to the looks he was getting until a shadow loomed over his desk and he saw the twins leaning over him "sooo~" kaoru grinned deviously and Hikaru leaned on his brother " how'd the date go?" The elder twin asked with a slight sense of entitlement, (name) could tell he wasn't going to like the elder twin already.

"Pardon?" (Name) Asked bored, they didn't know each other remotely enough to be asking these questions, the Omega already uncomfortable with how close the alphas were getting "your date with hunni-senpai!" Kaoru said as if it were obvious and that got everyone's attention see there was the rumor of (name) fighting alphas and that hunni saved him but nothing about a date.

A host club member on a date?

With a commoner?

Who was the least Omega like person out of any Omega in the school?!

Before the class could blow up the teacher walked in, silencing everyone into their seats and (name) felt relief flood through him and shot a glare towards the twins while Haruhi looked mortified at the situation. (Name) Focused on his work, working diligently and efficiency and finishing before everyone per usual much to the teachers annoyance, despite this school being a place where he was supposed to be tested and have harder work, (name) breezed through it.

After class, (name) rushed through to his quiet corner during lunch but yelped when two arms wrapped around his own and almost flipped them when he saw the twins and knew they wouldn't hurt him but god they were annoying 'dont hurt your mates friends even if they are annoying' he thought and let himself be dragged to the host club.

The smell of roses was always overwhelming, it tickled his nose in a way he didn't like and wasn't used to, he was used to the smell of motor oil and snacks. "(Nickname)?" Mitsukuni asked curiously, eyeing the way the twins held onto him with a look (name) couldn't describe but the twins seemed to understand the look and stepped back from (name) and the flowery look returned on the alphas face.

"Why am I here?" (Name) Asked while fixing his clothes, a bit uncomfortable around so many alphas that he didn't really know but Mitsukuni was there so he was a little at ease. "We wanted to get to know you! Know who Hunni-senpai's little mate was!" Tamaki said dramatically and (name) shot him a look of vague annoyance "you could have just asked instead of dragging me across the school which was incredibly rude by the way, taking someone without their consent" his words cut into the president and twins egos a bit, Mitsukuni noting mentally how similar he looked to his brothers when he was upset.

Tamaki stammered a bit, not expecting this answer but (name) sighed a bit knowing he should have expected the fact his mates friends wanted to know him had to accept that he was going to be around them. "I forgive you for this, this time but don't make it a habit" he said flatly and sat beside his alpha, he wouldn't openly state that he considered mitsukuni his alpha as it was a very intimate thing to say but the Alpha knew he felt that way and the feelings were mutual.

"(Name)?" Haruhi walked into the club room "do you understand question 17 for the homework? I think it's a mistype" she asked and (name) immediately opened his bag to grab his homework and as he was slipping out his binder the little sweater fell out and onto the floor. (Name)S eyes widened and he quickly grabbed it and put it in his bag "what's that?" Mitsukuni asked the Omega who froze "it's nothing" his words too fast and the Alpha tilted his head and didn't press further, knowing the Omega will tell him when he was ready but didn't like being lied too.

"We heard you went to the craft club, you planning on going to a more omegan club?" Tamaki asked curiously and (name) shot him a glare "I have no intentions of leaving my club thank you"

Kyoya watched the Omega closely, the Sano wasn't like omegas they were used to and honestly it was nice seeing Tamaki be put in his place, the Alpha had a tendancy to be accidentally sexist especially towards omegas and the host club didn't help that as they often played into instincts to keep guest attention.

"Oh, how's Mikey by the way? Is he feeling better?" Kaoru asked and (name) was thankful for the topic change "he's fine, he does want a rematch though but Shin said he can have one when he cleans his room" he said with a small smile "oh! Kyoya, Emma found that chocolate you were looking for while she was out, it's by the crossing just off the music shop and the 109 building" pulling the bag of chocolate from his bags side pocket he offered it to the alpha.

Tamaki was a little jealous that (name) got along with everyone so easily outside of him and Hikaru, even making small talk with Mori on occasion.

But what he had learned was (name) was deeply family oriented and passionate about who he was and where he came from and according to kyoya, insanely smart.

"I heard your teacher might be moving you up to third year classes, that must be daunting" Tamaki chimed and (name) shrugged "I mean, finally honestly--- classes are boring and I mean, I should be in second year but medical stuff ya know?" (Name) Said casually and the host club didn't know but didn't want to make the Omega feel awkward.

"Oh! By the way we're planning a beach day! Would you care to join us?" Tamaki asked the Omega who shrugged "I guess? I would have to ask Shinichiro...."

"No problem!

#tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x male reader #tokyo revengers fluff #male reader #omegaverse #omega male reader #x male reader #anime x male reader #anime x reader #ohshc au #ohshc x male reader #ohshc x reader #mitsukuni haninozuka x male reader #mitsukuni haninozuka x reader

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hoe-days · 1 month ago

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quick thought

we all know the highschool lovers trope for stanxeno and reader

reader's parent's are pretty chill and they're fine with stanxeno coming over now and then, at this time they were just friends and not dating

but the mom is already choosing which one she wants her child to date

ofc the dad is overprotective(ish) and thinks that whtv the mom's got goin on in her head is nonsense. but ofc he has and opinion on it.

"stanley seems quite charming and he's athletic too, seems perfect for our little girl" -mom

"but xeno's smart and can provide better" -dad

or smth like that idk

(i suck at this okay, please bear with me 😭😭)

any thoughts?

this is when they're in higschool btw

IDK HOW I DIDN’T SEE THIS ASK WHEN I LOOKED THIS MORNING. I’M BLIND I LOVE THIS.

Let me preface that both of them make good impressions on the parents. They know how to pull the whole “respectful young man” look off. Not to mention they’ve been friends with S/O since about middle or elementary.

Stan immediately wins over the dad with sports talk and the Mom with the aforementioned ‘respectful young man’ shtick. Xeno wins them over as well. The dad isn’t as interested in the gritty science talk, but Xeno knows his way around tools and will help fix things.

This is what I assume a southern family, so neither of them are allowed in S/O’s room with the door closed. Neither parent which one S/O likes because the friendship is pretty balanced. Like nobody gets left out of the long phone calls type beat. They always do threeway calls unless it’s short conversation

Because of this balance, the parents have to take small insignificant things and find meaning in it😭

Stan is quite the gentleman, always holds the door for S/O and their mom, always opens the car door for S/O, all that. So that’s who the mom banks on.

The dad argues that while he and Stan talk about sports, S/O sits with Xeno and talks about math and stuff. So he’s banking on S/O liking Xeno.

They never get an outright answer, they just assume Xeno won because Stan went to the military and S/O and Xeno live together. Little do they know.

#dr stone #dcst brainrot #stanley snyder #xeno houston wingfield #xenostan #xenostan x reader #stanley snyder x reader #xeno wingfield x reader

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tanadrin · 13 days ago

Note

also not sure how strongly intelligence is really selected for in a strict state of nature environment

Eg: high IQ is also correlated with things like allergies, nearsightedness, neurosis, depression, and lower fertility over lifetime. If intelligence is polygenic, it’s possible that some of those genes aren’t really beneficial to an organism outside of specifically trying to be a theoretical physicist in a developed nation.

if I remember right, turnover point is somewhere around 115-120 IQ and you start to see poorer overall life outcomes?

i have a bunch of thoughts on this, which i guess boil down to the fact i think whatever model you're using to discuss intelligence here doesn't make much sense.

humans are highly social animals whose large brains experienced strong selection pressure to get larger to navigate complex social situations and to improve social coordination; in that sense if intelligence is a unified concept it must be extraordinarily adaptive, because social groups that can coordinate effectively can heavily outcompete social groups that can't. we see this is true even just where new developments in social technology (or non-social technology!) improve the capacity for coordination.

i think the history of hominid evolution is an incredibly clear demonstration that intelligence is massively adaptive. the biggest qualitative difference between humans and chimpanzees is our intelligence, and we hunt chimps for food. the history of australopithecines being supplanted by hominins and then the genus homo winning out and then humans winning out in that genus bc each group had successively bigger brains that were better at coming up with effective tools and coordinating in large groups. the whole process of australopithecine to modern H. sapiens evolution is only 3-4 million years. and remember, the human ancestral environment (so far as such a concept is even coherent) isn't grunting cave men, it's complex social groups capable of strategy and planning and caring for members of the community.

when people say stuff like "intelligence probably wasn't adaptive in the ancestral environment" i think theyr'e also often thinking of intelligence in a stereotypically modern pop-culture way that's pretty shallow, as like just performance on math tests. while nobody was taking math tests in the early pleistocene, the math test is not the central use case for intelligence. memory, abstraction, planning, coordination, tool use, these are all things that benefit massively from intelligence in both social situations and non-social ones. conjuring up the discursive stereotype is of a very smart person is a nerd who's great at a STEM subject but socially inept is not actually invoking a very coherent model of intelligence--which gets in to the way that many of the people who take this perspective are, i think, using this stereotype of intelligence to paper over personal inadequacies. yes, they may think, i am socially inept, but i do well on IQ tests, so i have that going for me. they do not want to admit that they might actually be inept at certain things--that their intelligence might have certain glaring deficiencies. they want to write off the kinds of intelligence that don't flatter themselves as being somehow not "real" intelligence. but, for example, autism is a genuine cognitive deficit, albeit one not always incompatible with doing well academically. it profoundly disables some people, which is why it is a diagnosable syndrome in the first place. and plenty of neurotypical people are intelligent in some ways but have notable cognitive deficits in others.

so while many intellectual faculties correlate, they don't correlate perfectly, and because intellectual talents can be differently distributed between different faculties (or honed in uneven ways), we return to the problem of trying to recover a general factor of intelligence from factor analysis, an enterprise which i think is fundamentally flawed. if that's the case, this conversation is even muddier because there is no one general factor of intelligence we can treat as being acted on uniformly by selection effects, and what we really ought to be doing is trying to distinguish different but overlapping cognitive faculties. in that case it may be true that whatever ability to manipulate extremely sophisticated mathematical abstractions that terence tao has really isn't adaptive in the ancestral environment, but clearly a lot of much more mundane abilities that we associate with intelligence in informal discourse are.

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iluvstarkey · 5 months ago

Text

Tans and Temptations

series masterlist

series playlist

Rafe Cameron x Thorton Reader

Summary: Y/n Thorton has had a very simple and easy life. Her parents are rich, and she has the best friends that she could ever ask for. Until her junior year hits, and she starts feeling some unexpected feelings for her brother's best friend, not only that, but her dreams of getting into an Ivy League school start feeling unreachable when she realizes the classes she picked weren't as easy as she thought and starts to feel that she isn't smart and good enough.

Warnings: Sofia and Rafe, Swearing.

0 / 1. / .2

Now Spinning: Cigarette Daydreams by Cage The Elephant

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The chateau felt more chaotic than usual. You were on the side of a mattress studying for the first exam of the year, Pope was messing around with some type of tool with John B, JJ was being annoying with John B's Guitar, and Cleo and Kie were watching some rom-com that led them to giggle every 30 seconds. Normally you were good at focusing on all the noise around you but it has been 4 weeks into the new school year and you felt like you were drowning in work.

You groaned into your notebook, which caught Cleo's attention. "You good?" You looked up at her, your neck heavy from looking down for so long. "I feel so exhausted, and this stupid math equation isn't helping." "I told you that statistics were stupid, and you didn't listen," JJ chimed in, too focused on strumming the guitar to look at you. You sigh before putting your notebook into your backpack. "I think I'm gonna head home I have tons to do, I have to shower and do some laundry." You get up and sling your backpack over your shoulder.

"Do you need a ride?" Kie speaks up at you making you remember that you left your car at the house and had John B bring you over. "No, it's okay I'll just call Topper." You grab your phone out of your pocket and you dial Topper's number. Topper answers a couple seconds later. "What do you want." Topper groans at you. You hear the yelling in the background and realize you must have interrupted what he was doing. "Do you think you could pick me up from John Bs? Please?" You basically beg him over the phone. "What the hell are you doing over on the cut? Do you know what kind of people live over there?" Topper scolds you over the phone. You roll your eyes before responding "Please Top?" Topper groans again before agreeing and then hanging up.

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A couple minutes pass, and you see a Rafe's black Ram pull up. You roll your eyes. "Of course, Topper is too lazy to come and get me on his own." Rafe rolls down the window then yells at you to get in. "Since when do you slum with the Pogues?" Rafe basically barks at you, seemingly pissed off. "It's not that big of a deal, they are my friends who care where they live." You bite back at him. "Watch your tone princess, I came and picked you up remember now put ur seatbelt on." He turns back to the wheel and shifts into drive.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to get an attitude, I've just had a long day." You slump into the seat. "Did the princess break a nail at school?" Rafe chuckles to himself. You scoff "No, I have a math test tomorrow, and it's the first exam of the year and I don't seem to get it." You grumble into your hands. Rafe was about to answer before he suddenly got a call. "Hey babe what do you need?." A girl replied on the other end of the line. "Will you come over and bring food? I miss you?" Your stomach seemed to drop. Yeah you liked Rafe and he was your brother's best friend which made him off-limits but that doesn't mean you couldn't have a tiny crush on him. You didn't know Rafe had a girlfriend or was even capable of keeping one, he had a reputation for breaking all the girl's hearts on the island.

"Course, just let me drop off toppers little sister, then I'll be right over." Rafe replied, then shut off his phone. The ride was silent up until he pulled into your driveway. "Thanks for the ride." You grabbed your bag from the backseat and then headed inside. You basically ran upstairs, throwing your bag onto your floor before jumping into bed and immediately going onto Rafes Instagram to find the girl. You see that all he posts about is himself and football. you aren't proud of it, but you basically go through his whole following until you find a girl named Sofia. You click on her story and see her and Rafe with food, with the caption "So Lucky." You go through a couple of her posts with Rafe immediately feeling some type of jealousy course through you.

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You basically screamed into your pillow whenever you saw the photos. The worry of your math exam gone. You knew you should be happy for him but you can't help to wish that was you. When you were younger your mother and Rafes always talked about you and Rafe growing up and marrying each other. which is cliche when you think about it. You hear stories about other parents wishing their best friends kids got married together but you can't help but wish it would come true. You felt guilty thinking and wishing that knowing you and Rafe grew up together and that he and topper were best friends.

You put your phone down and finally decided to shower. Hoping the shower will make you forget all about your feelings towards Rafe and the whole situation. Spoiler it didn't it just made you feel worse. It took you forever to fall asleep that night. Rafe just couldn't leave your mind. You finally fell asleep around 3 in the morning.

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The next morning you were exhausted, you totally had forgotten you had a math exam the next morning and as you sat down at the table in front of Topper he reminded you of it when he asked if you stayed up studying because he claimed you looked like shit which you replied by throwing your toast at him. "Jesus i'm just joking." Topper rolled his eyes at you before pushing out his chair and getting up to leave. "Wait Top, can I ask you a question?" You perk up "What?" He sounded a bit irritated by the request. "How long has Rafe and his girlfriend been dating?" He squinted his eyes at you. "Why do you care?" Topper rolled his eyes and then walked out of the room. "Are you gonna answer the question?" Which he replied by slamming the door. "Dick" You mutter to yourself.

As you get to school, you see Pope and JJ arguing over who is going to get a better score on the math test, JJ is betting on you while Pope is betting on himself like always. JJ noticed you coming over and gave you a once-over. "Damn, you look like shit." "Shut up JJ I know I got like no sleep." Which Pope laughed at. "I told you Ill get a better score." You rolled your eyes at him before going to your next class. This was going to be a long day.

The school day finally ended, and you ended up going back home, walking into the living room to Topper, Kelce, Rafe, Ruthie, and Sofia, all laughing at a joke one of the boys said. "Hey, sis, how'd you do on that math test?" Topper teased you. You rolled your eyes at him before going upstairs. You didn't feel like dealing with any of them today, including Rafe. You just wanted the day to be over with. You were going to go straight to bed, but JJ texted you asking about going to the big bonfire kicking off the school year. You went every year, and you couldn't just not go this year. You wondered if Rafe was going to take Sofia and how he would act with her at a big party. You decided it would be best to nap before the party so you laid down and closed your eyes in hopes you could actually fall asleep this time.

#drew starkey #drew starkey imagine #drew starkey x reader #rafe cameron #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron x reader #rafe x reader #rafe outer banks #rafe obx #outerbanks rafe #rafe fanfiction #rafe smau #rafe social media au #rafe series #rafe cameron series #rafe cameron imagine

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chronicallycouchbound · 2 years ago

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Intelligence Doesn't Equal Morality

Intellect is rooted in ableist systems and stupidity and intelligence are pointless social constructs that don't relate to morals or character.

I try to be a pretty good person, I fight for human rights, I regularly engage in mutual aid, and I care for my community. I try to do the right thing and support causes I care about and make positive changes in the world.

But I also am not very smart. I have several neurodevelopmental disorders, as well as cognitive disabilities. I can’t do simple, basic math, it’s hard for me to remember facts or algorithms, I rely entirely on spellcheck and speech-to-text to write, I failed many classes in high school and I barely passed with a low GPA, I had low pSAT scores and I never took the SATs. I moved around a lot all through school starting in third grade, and I missed a lot of basic fundamentals in learning (like how to do division and multiplication) so when I went to a different school they had already passed it and expected me to know. After my TBI, I could barely read AFTER I was cleared from my “concussion” symptoms because letters and words would flip around and I’d get headaches. Which still happens sometimes.

A lot of people see me as smart because I've learned a lot of academic language and can formulate thoughts into cohesive posts. But I lack a lot of necessary skills and rely on my caretakers to assist me. Things like budgeting and planning are extremely difficult for me. If I need to do simple addition or subtraction, even with a calculator, I quickly get confused and struggle. I forget basic information about myself all the time, let alone other subjects. I'm talking, has to check my ID for my birthday type confused. Doesn't know my name or address or what year it is confused. It happens daily, sometimes multiple times a day. Being able to type out posts like this often takes weeks and many adaptive tools to get there. Focusing is extremely difficult on many fronts, severe chronic pain, ADHD, dissociation, fatigue, migraines, and TBI, are just some of the contributing factors. I struggle daily with many things because of my lack of intellect.

I’m also privileged in the fact that I had some access to education as a homeless youth, that I had some supports in place to help me (towards the end of school), that I was somewhat able-bodied at the time and could walk or bike to and from school when the school system didn’t provide transportation. I was fortunate to have a chance to succeed, and I’m proud that I graduated high school because it was a difficult task for me, and others often aren’t offered that chance or get accommodations. I almost didn’t and I dropped out many times before graduation. I passed on sheer luck and what little privileges I had.

That all being said, me being stupid (reclaiming it here) doesn't make me a bad person. I don't hurt people because I can't do math. I may mess up things or get confused but it doesn't make me want to harm others.

We often (wrongfully) equate morals with intellect. Being ‘stupid’, ‘dumb’, or an ‘idiot’ doesn’t automatically make someone a bad person. Plenty of evil, awful, and abusive people are extremely intelligent.

I see this most notably with people advocating for IQ tests to be able to vote. Often from left-leaning people, in hopes it'll make the right (that they view as unintelligent), unable to vote. The reality is, it just hurts some of our most vulnerable members of the community while not actively doing anything to restrict some of the most dangerous members of our community-- those who know what they're doing to harm others and deliberately doing so. My voice matters, and I speak up against injustice and participate in dismantling oppressive systems. Taking away my right to vote won't make the right stop oppressing minorities (which also puts a lot of faith into the two-party voting system, which is a post for another day).

Additionally, legislative measures that discriminate against intellectually disabled people such as IQ tests for voting are also rooted in racism and classism.

Yes, education can be a vital tool when it comes to addressing discrimination and creating safer communities. But the kind of education that is measured with an IQ test (or any test) isn't the same. Building compassion and caring for others can (and should) happen at any IQ level. We can all practice this, we can all participate.

It harms our communities and stagnates our progress when we equate intelligence with high morals.

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mbat · 9 months ago

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and thinking about the difference between bill and fiddleford when it comes to fords hands and fords 'genius'

bill makes fords polydactyly a focal point, something impossible to ignore. he tells ford that he'll fit right in with bills band of "freaks" all because his hands are a little different than other humans. he never lets him forget it, even if he says it as something to be proud of, but he and everyone else knows that ford kinda never stopped holding onto the insecurity that was associated with this trait. bill also never let ford forget his smarts, he played into the what ford always wanted to hear about his smarts, but fords brain was only ever a tool to bill. fords hands were (part of) a reason bill wanted to bring him along in his crew, and fords mind was simply a means to an end

and then we have fiddleford who, upon meeting ford for the first time, immediately saw ford as this genius who cared about what he had to say and they connected over their shared love for all that nerd stuff, and it was something that was important to them both and brought them together, and kept them together

and fiddleford says he didnt even notice, after hours and hours of sitting in a room with ford and them focused on eachother (and math)... he didnt even notice that fords hands were different until afterward, when he was looking at a photo of them both. this thing ford had been forced to worry about his whole life, and it wasnt even a thing to fiddleford.

ford wanted to be known, to be loved, for his brain and what he could do. and, in my opinion, it sometimes feels like he almost wanted to make up for the fact he was different, to prove he wasnt 'less than' because of some difference he was born with, this thing that everyone made such a big deal out of

and between the two biggest people in his life (aside from his brother of course lmao), one focused on and made a big deal out of his difference, and the other didnt even notice it. one saw his genius as a tool, and the other saw it as something amazing and admirable.

hell, if the bit of their conversation in the book of bill when they meet is, well, when they meet and is their first words to eachother... the first name or nickname that bill calls ford is, of course, sixer. and one of the first things fiddleford calls ford... is friend.

and i just feel like it says a lot about those two relationships and him.

#my post #gravity falls #stanford pines #bill cipher #fiddleford mcgucket #i might be slightly wrong here fjajfj feel free to (nicely) correct me on shit im just saying thoughts yknow #THIS ISNT ME BEING AGAINST EITHER SHIP BTW i literally ship both. obviously for different reasons between the two #im mainly referencing the picture from the website when you type 'sorry'#and the first few pages of the lost journal 3 pages of the book of bill #(and the pages just before those where bill talks about first seeing ford and declaring him both a genius *and* an idiot)#having the book of bill within arms reach of my bed is really convenient for subtle brainrot #fml doesnt stan also call him sixer im fucking tired i cant remember if im making that up or not #im not unpacking that rn

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goddessinnerglow · 7 months ago

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Become Your Best Version Before 2025 - Day 13

Financial Planning and Budgeting

Hello Goddesses! I know that talking about money, can feel scary or boring, but after working on our stress management tools yesterday, it's perfect timing to address something that's often a huge source of stress for many of us: finances.

First things first: if thinking about money makes you want to hide under your blanket, you're not alone. But taking control of your finances isn't about becoming a math genius or never buying another coffee again. It's about making friends with your money so it can help you live your best life.

Let's break this down into bite-sized pieces that won't give you a headache:

Start Where You Are

Remember when you first learned to ride a bike? You didn't start by doing tricks, you started with training wheels. Money management is the same way! First step: just look at your current situation. Open those banking apps you've been avoiding. Take a deep breath and look at your statements. Knowledge is power, even if it's a bit scary at first.

The Money Map Exercise

Grab a piece of paper (or open your notes app) and let's do something simple:

Write down all your income sources

List your regular monthly expenses (yes, including those sneaky subscriptions!)

Don't forget those irregular expenses like annual fees or seasonal costs

Look at what's left (or what's missing)

Congratulations! You've just created your first basic budget outline.

The 50/30/20 Guideline

Here's a popular way to think about your money:

50% for needs (rent, groceries, utilities)

30% for wants (fun stuff, shopping, entertainment)

20% for future you (savings, debt payment, investments)

These numbers might not work for everyone, especially depending on where you live. The important thing is to have some kind of plan that works for YOU.

Smart Money Habits You Can Start Today

The 24-Hour Rule: For non-essential purchases over a certain amount (you decide the number!), wait 24 hours before buying. You'd be surprised how many "must-haves" become "maybe nots" overnight!

Bill Calendar: Set up a simple calendar with all your bill due dates. Future you will be so grateful!

Automate Your Savings: Even if it's just $5 a week, set up automatic transfers to a savings account. It's like hiding money from yourself!

Track Your Spending: For just one week, write down every single purchase. No judging, just observing. You might find some surprising patterns!

The Emergency Fund Challenge

Let's start building that safety net! Even $500 in savings can make a huge difference in an emergency. Start with a goal of saving just $25 this week. Too much? Start with $10. Too little? Make it $50. The amount isn't as important as getting started.

Money Goals That Make Sense

Instead of vague goals like "save more," try specific ones like:

Save enough for three months of basic expenses by December 2025

Pay off one credit card by summer

Create a "fun fund" for that hobby you've been wanting to try

Your financial journey is exactly that, YOURS. You don't need to compare yourself to anyone else. The person on Instagram showing off their investment portfolio might still be paying off massive debt. Focus on your own path!

Your mission for today:

Look at your bank statement (I know, scary, but you can do it!)

Pick ONE money habit from this post to try this week

Set ONE specific financial goal for 2025

See you tomorrow for Day 14! Remember, every financial decision you make today is a gift to your future self.

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