a-dorkypotato - Tumblr blog

[a-dorkypotato]

And The Worst Part Is

I don't even know why I'm sad anymore I just am...

And this is not the second breakdown this week but the 10th

And I don't understand how to get this voice out of my head

O all these tears I've shed

And the worst part is, I'm drownin

But still breathing

Smiling

But still screaming

Laughing

But still grieving

And I thought I was improving

But years later I'm still the same little girl

And these thoughts they're intruding

I don't want to be in this world

And the worst part is

I still have all this time left

A life unlived

I need to keep on tryin

But for fucks sake I'm dyin

When is it going to end

This is a constant battle

I'll never win

Depression caught me when I was just seven

Made me want to go to heaven

But the worst part was

I knew I wouldn't get in

Amber D

[a-dorkypotato]

Your past may be an affliction

But please refuse to be its definition

The world is quite writhen

Yet that is only a restriction

If you allow it to be your prison

Then you've been condemned

Before you have truly risin....

Amber D

[a-dorkypotato]

To Be Invisible

I was never the girl one could see

Being surrounded by pretty things can make one seem obscene

And slowly I've become so insignificant

I can't even love myself , i'll never be sufficient

Why dare see behind what is beautiful

For the truth will never be seen as fruitful

And so the pretty people are worn as if pecies of jewelry

And the truth tries to mold themselves into something palpable in a world full of delusory

Amber D

[a-dorkypotato]

To the insomniacs

Always walking into class

Lookin like they on crack

Smiling as we make other people laugh

And you start to wonder

Why they always look like they're 6 ft under

But we're used to people sayin that

Why do you think we're so good at persuasion

And all sorts of manipulation

It's because we spend our entire life

Trying to get you to believe our lies

Until one day you realize

It was just a disguise

They say drugs numb the pain

But really we just want another reallity

A place that is a little more sane

A place where equality dosen't exist because everybody is the same

Where we don't fight wars, we fight pain

And death doesn't have our name on its grave

We might look like we're one step from the edge

But really, we just want a world where we don't feel so god damn dead.

Amber D

[a-dorkypotato]

Judge Me

Judge me

 Tell me every inconvenience

 Every imperfection

 Every single grievance

 Let who was once me...

 Define my every action 

 All my little treasons

 Whatever brings you satisfaction

 Will become my pledge of allegiance 

 Allow me to drown

 In my own self doubt

 Who am I?

 Is this all life's about?

 Just leave more indentations

 More words

 And observations 

 Let me die trying to achieve societal expectations 

 Amber D

[a-dorkypotato]

The Sorrow Of Hope

I despise love poems

I despise love poems because

somwhere solemnly deep

I can feel myself crave something so very out of reach

Made with invisible lines

That pull me so far beneath

I'm afraid I'll sink

Afraid, I'll believe the ink

Judgementally staring up at me

Inducing hope into my flesh and bones

As a storm begins to provoke

Longing for lies each love poem rhymes

My head bellows innocently

Reminding me

Of how

No one will ever love you...

Amber D

[a-dorkypotato]

What It Is To Write

To put my opinion on a peice of paper

Is like to tell an inoccent man their guilty

Only I'm the one being accused

And obliveince is my jury

Words a fragile peice of paper

Could never withhold

Without a little damage

And though i still trust it

nothing will come of it

While im gracing each page with tangible writing, easily erasable but important for future reciting

People question The relevance of what i am saying, putting such words out of context and just like the moon, the meaning starts waning.

Yet I am the one to blame...

Not the people who aim to spend their lives searching for the flaws which inevitably would be there

like ashes, from flames, to fires, and gases

But the girl who belives in the scipture regardless

Afterall whats one opinion, compared to a world already full of judgement, we consider to be harmless

Burning words and Endlessly irrelevant letters, turns the ashes of ancestors into trillions of voices forgotten

As they all once tried to be begotten

For the world is truly a mess

But here we stand attempting to fix it, while being told of limited choices

Holding moldable pecies of clay and believing they're walls in our way

To be something, is to have your tongue and hands slit by society

To obey the need of others while scilence becomes your propriety

If i can write in ink, what i can speak, when i think

then i can say what millions are but to afraid

Having it burn into nothingness, all just the same

Amber D.