aflamboyanceofflamingos - Tumblr blog

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The Batfam goes to a trampoline park

Dick has been non-stop flipping from trampoline to trampoline and it's a wonder he has yet to throw up

Steph attempted what Dick was doing and threw up

Damian is stuck in the rafters because Jason snuck up on him while he was sulking on a trampoline because Bruce wouldn't let him have another slushy (he already had 3 and was also on the verge of throwing up)

Tim should be in the rafters because Jason did the same thing to him that he did to Damian but no one can find him up there (he's fell a while ago and is taking a nap in the foam pit)

Duke is using his powers to prevent what happened to Tim and Damian from happening to him

Cass keeps beating all the obstacle courses (She found Tim)

Bruce is waiting in the cafe because he doesn't want the kids to have evidence of him wearing the bright green socks the park makes mandatory

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Tim Drake owns dress shoes, however he make it a point to wear Vans with his suit in every meeting out of spite and hoping that it will convince Bruce to take his goddam company back from a 17 year old

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Alternatively:

Tim: *opens Damian's door, casually dodging the booby traps he set for this exact purpose*

Damian: Tt- What do you want Drake?

Tim, as he moves a singular pencil from its place: Alfred called

Damian, slowly pulling out a sword: About what

Tim, flexing in the mirror: No clue

Damian, now aiming said sword: Is that all?

Tim: Yep. Bye. *leaves the door just the slightest bit open*

Damian: (－－〆)

The potential of stories with Tim and Damian being the only kids still living at the Manor is criminally overlooked. When you are siblings, and forced to live together, it’s physically impossible to not start hanging out. I should know, I have just one sibling and we spent a lot of time far away from other kids/friends. Who else you’re going to hang around with?

You know that thing all siblings do where they just randomly burst in to the others room and just stand at the doorway, saying nothing? Yeah that.

Damian: *slams Tim’s door open*

Tim: ????

Damian: *stares*

Tim: ????????

Damian: Drake, I demand you to entertain me.

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

(An Arkam Breakout) The Music Meister: You think you can crush me little Bat? Dick: I think that sounds like a grand idea (A grand piano falls from the sky and crushes Music Meister) Dick: Dick: I Am Magic (Above them) Jason looking at a note as he tracks down the Riddler: I can be played but I’m not a board game, I have keys but I don’t have any locks, I have hammers but I don’t have any nails, I have pedals but I’m not a bicycle, I can be tuned but I’m not a radio What Am I? - The Riddler Jason: What does a piano have to with- (A grand piano narrowly misses his head from where it was strung up) Jason: WHAT THE FU-

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

The two biggest pranksters of the Batfam are Dick and Tim

Dick like to do pranks that are just fun and makes people laugh - His motto is “confuse and amuse, not abuse”

He’s the person who will replace a picture of you with one of a llama

This is the kind of person you want to get into a prank war with (Steph will undoubtedly join and it’s vital she’s on your side)

Tim likes to view pranking as a way to express displeasure towards people he is upset with instead of actually discussing things.

He thinks he’s being a mild inconvenience. He’s actually being psychological terror.

Everything in your room is 2 inches to the left

You keep seeing rubber ducks but they disappear before you can actually get a closer look

You will never feel safe again

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When Dick was adopted Bruce probably bought him a bunch of new clothes, and while logically they probably came from some fancy brand, I like to think that billionaire Brucie Wayne went to Gymboree so that up untill he was 11 Dick Grayson had color coded outfits with perfectly matching accesories and that is why as soon as he was able to make his own fashion choices he choose to only wear clothes that clashed enough to blind someone

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The "Middle Kids" bi-monthly meeting happen at Jason's safehouse against his will because they want to steal his food before he comes back to stop them when one of them stumbles upon his stash of Red Hood voice changing masks that can be adjusted.

Jason comes home to Duke, Steph, Cass, and Tim singing an acapella "Let's Groove" at various different electronic pitches

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

The creation of the "Middle Kids" bi-monthly meetings

Duke: is new to the batfam, wants to get along with his new siblings - Does not know what he's getting into

Jason: He's doing this because he wants to not because dick told him too - Also it pisses off the demon brat because it doesn't include him (That where the older kids club came from as well)

Tim: Was forcefullly dragged away from the case he was working on - Bruce was there but allowed because he thought this would rein in the chaos Tim got up to with Young Justice (Little does he know)

Steph and Cass: The ones who did the dragging (They're fully aware that this is going to start as chaos but then actually be helpful as time goes on as the closest to mentally stable ones)

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

Reasons why I head canon Tim Drake to be Asian:

- I’m Asian

- The reasons that people have against Tim being Asian, that he fits into a bunch of stereotypes with his parents and stuff, most of that shit is fanon which makes you think that these people saw a rich kid and made him Artemis Fowl

- I know I just bashed on fanon tim but there are a bunch of fics where Tim has a minor stroke everytime he has to refer to either Bruce or Alfred by their first name and believe me when I say that is a feeling I understand

- I’m a firm believer that Bruce is the only white member of the batfam for both comedy reasons and for fluffy family bonding through learning about other cultures reasons

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Hal has definitely watch Doctor Who and that’s his theory but everyone else shoots it down in favor of Robin being some kind of Fae and they don’t want to fuck with magic without Zatanna or Constantine

They also know, but it’s funny and they have a bet so if either ones give it away they immediately lose

I have a dumb idea

The justice league (Minus Clark and Diana) thinks that Robin is an immortal being that changes form every 5-10ish years because Bruce never told them he had different robins

Robin I and Bruce having issues near the end was just due to the transformation coming near

Robin II only lasting so long and Bruce’s grief after they attribute to something going wrong with the transformation and do think Robin is dead

However when Robin III comes they assume that Bruce’s grumpiness is attributed to him being over protective after the disaster of the last transformation

The Steph comes and goes back to Tim and they’re all throw but like maybe this version of Robin is genderfluid and they don’t want to be rude so they don’t say anything

And when Damian comes after 5 years it just solidifies this theory as well as Robin probably being genderfluid cause of Carrie

Yes the bat kids have come to the watchtower as Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Spoiler

Bruce is unaware

The batkids know and are keeping up the act as they wait for the perfect moment to descend from the celing, all wearing the robin uniform and traumatizing the Justice League

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

I have a dumb idea

The justice league (Minus Clark and Diana) thinks that Robin is an immortal being that changes form every 5-10ish years because Bruce never told them he had different robins

Robin I and Bruce having issues near the end was just due to the transformation coming near

Robin II only lasting so long and Bruce’s grief after they attribute to something going wrong with the transformation and do think Robin is dead

However when Robin III comes they assume that Bruce’s grumpiness is attributed to him being over protective after the disaster of the last transformation

The Steph comes and goes back to Tim and they’re all thrown but like maybe this version of Robin is genderfluid and they don’t want to be rude so they don’t say anything

And when Damian comes after 5 years it just solidifies this theory as well as Robin probably being genderfluid cause of Carrie

Yes the bat kids have come to the watchtower as Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Spoiler

Bruce is unaware

The batkids know and are keeping up the act as they wait for the perfect moment to descend from the celing, all wearing the robin uniform and traumatizing the Justice League

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

I have seen no hair dye in the batfam and I believe that is something to be discussed

I get the whole identifying marks is detrimental to secret identities but everyone expect Dick, Damian, and Tim (I refuse to accept the condom head) have some kind off hair covering so…

Cass would rock green tips

Steph absolutely slays purple streaks

Jason stops dying his hair and is somehow mistaken for his aunt

I can’t think of others because I’m tired but yeah

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Different dances I know how to do, and who in the batfam I think also knows:

Square Dancing:

- Duke

- Steph

- Bruce

- Tim

- Dick

- Jason

Line Dancing:

- Jason

-Bruce

- Duke

- Cass

Waltz/Ballroom:

- Bruce

- Tim

- Steph

- Damian

- Cass

- Dick

- Duke

Tango:

- All

Ballet:

- Cass

- Duke

- Bruce

Flamenco:

- Steph And Tim (It’s a long story)

- Bruce

Irish Jig:

- Bruce

- Dick

- Jason

- Cass

Swing:

- Tim and Steph (another long story)

- Jason

- Bruce

- Damian

- Cass

Jazz:

- Duke

- Tim

- Bruce

- Steph

Breakdancing:

- Dick

- Duke

- Tim

- Bruce

- Damian

[aflamboyanceofflamingos]

The batkids arguing over who has had the worst injuries and when Jason inevitability brings up the fact that he’s died they start arguing over who’s had the worst death

Bruce is having a aneurysm

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The batfam ranked on how likely they are to appear in a dentist’s dreams from nightmare to a pleasant dream:

*I am not a dentist and know nothing about dentistry

1. Bruce - has all pearly whites. More then half of those pearly whites are fake and have lock picks in them because Batman has taken far too many punches to the jaw

2. Dick - has also taken a lot of punches to the jaw, and is addicted to sugary cereal and coffee

3. Steph - watched Carmen Sandiego and is constantly aware of protecting the face, but didn’t have the best dental care growing up

4. Tim - constantly pisses people off resulting in every one he’s ever met slapping/punching/kicking him in him in the face at least once. Would be higher the Dick, but believes that getting a cavity would be the most embarrassing thing in the world and has never gotten one despite eating full bags of marshmallows

5. Cass - Wears a full face cowl, and would be higher from what she ate when on the run, but I am biased

6. Damian - under the Al-Ghuls hygiene was very import and he maintains that, but when Dick went on a spree of introducing him to different snacks he got his first cavity and thought he was dying

7. Jason - like Steph, dental care wasn’t the best, but the Pit fixed it and now has very good teeth

8. Duke - cleanest teeth ever but hates the dentist because the first time he went to get a cavity filled after what happen to his parents the dentist had remarked that he now had a “great big smile” and since his face was still numb he nearly had a panic attack

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Jason: Where’s the Demon Brat?

Steph: Tim locked him in the bathroom

Tim: You weren’t supposed to tell him!

Jason: I’m okay with this

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The Core Four minus Tim: It's not that bad... Is it?

Tim, the only younger sibling of the group, having just been referred to as one of his older siblings by accident: I am going to commit murder