agony-delta37

[agony-delta37]

[agony-delta37]

Today is my birthday and this is my present :D

[agony-delta37]

a doffy i realized i never posted anywhere teehee

[agony-delta37]

Did You Know? #01

“Did you know?”

A certain rumour spread after the defeat of Doflamingo at Dressrosa. People are talking about it.

“They said, Impel Down Doflamingo is some sort of gift from Straw Hat Luffy to Trafalgar Law.”

“A gift?”

“Yeah. Doflamingo had somehow offended Trafalgar Law. It didn’t sit well with Straw Hat Luffy, so he beat and threw the former king to prison just to please Trafalgar.”

“Straw Hat picked fight with a Warlord just because he offended his allied captain? They’re taking pirate alliance too far!”

“Pirate alliance? More like pirate couple to me.”

And so the rumours continue to spread around the globe.

-

-

Meanwhile, inside a certain government prison.

“Fufufu… I’m reduced to courting gift now? Damn brat, he thought he had my approval after he beat me? You’re 20 years early to date my precious Law.”

[agony-delta37]

[agony-delta37]

why are you, as an immortal being in the vague shape of a man, wearing anachronistic eyeliner to meet your boy best friend once every hundred years? 🤨

[agony-delta37]

[agony-delta37]

"If you had a disorder as serious as DID, we would notice."

You did notice, you just called it by a different name.

When you noticed us acting different, you called it

childish

standoffish

unpredictable

too sensitive

insensitive

dramatic

manipulative

intentionally being difficult

When you noticed our amnesia, you called it

irresponsible

flakey

forgetful

not listening

not trying

unreliable

lying

When you noticed us dissociating, you called it

spaciness

daydreaming

not paying attention

not caring

stonewalling

acting stupid on purpose

wasting time

being lazy

People love to say they care about people with mental illness, and then disbelieve anyone who has one because they've already passed judgement on them.

[agony-delta37]

I seriously can not unserstand america(ns) .. I just cant wrap my head around it.. That whole ass country is a) definitely not a 1st world country; fits more with fhe 3rd world ones.. b) is a huge ass cult ... c) noone thinks theyre the "greatest" country in the world like they believe.. and d) freedom? In America? Right.. Suuuure.. Continue dreaming..

Tbh I sway between looking down on them/disliking them and feeling sorry for them..

That country is fucked and needs help.. And so do most of its citizens.. Smdh

[agony-delta37]

some of you may've heard about that fancy "bionic reading" typefont thats supposed to be easier for neurodivergent people to read (if you're unfamiliar, it bolds the first few letters of each word to make it easier to follow)

well guess what, its locked behind a $500 a month API to write in because fuck you!

introducing, Not Bionic Reading! it is literally just the bionic reading typefont but for free. god bless neocities

anyone who can, pls reblog!

[agony-delta37]

I may actually start to use this!

Star Theory; visualizing dissociation

If you're active in mental health and disability communities, you've likely heard of spoon theory, which visualizes the day-to-day life of those with chronic disabilities, and how much energy they have doing different tasks.

In 2019, the term star theory was coined by the since moved Tumblr blog espersgalaxy; I was given permission to recreate and better explain this theory. Star theory is based off of the same basic principles as spoon theory. However, star theory is specifically tailored towards those who experience any form of dissociation.

Unlike the spoon theory, the more 'stars' you have, the more dissociated you are. This is in contrast with spoon theory, which visualizes less energy through less spoons. The concept of stars comes from a common trope in cartoons and other mediums where characters who have become "dizzy" or "zoned out" have stars swirling around their head.

As an example, someone with dissociative identity disorder may start the day with anywhere from zero to five stars. Someone may wake up and already feel dissociative, and so they may already be at a 2. Throughout the day, certain triggers, stimuli, and situations may either lessen or gain more stars.

If someone has no stars, then they are completely non-dissociative, and if someone has 5, they are completely dissociative to the point where they may be unable to function, think properly, or know who they are. This limit may be raised to ten stars if someone feels they need more specification, such as from zero to ten.

Example of a 'star meter' for someone using the theory:

0 stars: Non-dissociative. No issues at this time.

1 star: Very mild, likely not noticeable. Little to no issue.

2 stars: Mild. Possible issues with identity, memory, etc.

3 stars: Moderate, noticeable. Issues will likely begin to show up.

4 stars: Stronger dissociation. Issues with time, memory, etc.

5 stars: Very strong dissociation. May not know who they are, where they are, the time, etc., may not be able to function.

Narrative example: John has BPD, which causes dissociation. Yesterday, he woke up with 2 stars. When he went to the store, he saw something that greatly upset him, causing him to gain 2 stars. He had a difficult time returning home, but once he did he grounded himself, losing 3 stars. By the time he went to bed for the night, he had one star. However, the next day, he woke up with 4 stars due to a nightmare.

TLDR: Star theory is a similar theory to spoon theory and is for people who experience any kind of dissociation. The more "stars" a person has, the more dissociated they are.

[agony-delta37]

Our system has been feeling a bit weird lately, plus we always wanted to get to know ourselves (even) more. So we thought this would be a fun and interesting way of doing that! ^^

We thought before we get to the answering of the questions tho, we'd give a short list of the alters that make up our system (well, the ones we know so far):

Anthony; main host

Samuel; secondary host

Itami; protector

Liam; little

Riley; caretaker

River; female/teenager

Kiaran; teenage boy

Leigh; emotions

Valentine; non-human

Jared; persecutor

Christian; little

Shiro; trauma-holder

Zero; don't know yet

So! Now! Off to answering! ...

1. Technically Val, with him being a non-human, huge beast and all (meaning that with love ofc) xD. Or else it would be Jared with his 1.93 meters (6'4")

2. With us living in Switzerland... Maybe barely a meal from a junk food place? Or then maybe rather a bottle of vodka and some juice for a cheap cocktail lol

3. Definitely. Used to.. A lot... There was a time where Anthony and Itami were able to co-front and subsequently make each other laugh... But, a few years ago, for whatever reason, that was rendered impossible when like half of the system was discovered...

4. Oh! Yeah! Val! He's not just a huge beast, but he's a huge beast who can shapeshift! It's awesome! *-*

5. The heart's got "dat ass!!!" ! XD

6. Scary, brilliant, exhausting, loving, traumatizing, uplifting, everything great, everything bad...

7. Oof... Tough question... Good question, tho! ... Maggots? .. Yeah sure, let's go with maggots.

8. That there is a crossroad, in the middle of the main road that connects the parts we "live" in, but with roads shrouded in darkness, we cannot go down for some reason... We know that there is more there, we can feel it! And some alters were even discovered there... It is definitely weird.. But also unnerving...

9. Yes we do! Well; Anthony is engaged with the Caretaker/acting Host; and Itami is engaged with the protector of that same system. It is definitely great, helpful and soothing to have another system in our life... But with the relationship-part, we're sometimes not sure if it's a blessing or a curse... But! The love between these 2 couples have definitely saved us more than once! <3

10. ...well... There are few dozen situations to chose from... And personal.. So without too many details, and without unwanted memories coming back, let's just go with; naked tied-up people...

11. O-ho!! Definitely! But to protect everyones dignity involved, there will be no names. XD

12. Not anymore... Used to be nice tho! "Don't miss it", would be a lie... But we're okay without it now. :3

13. Does Val keep his shapeshifting abilities? If yes; then him. If not; pretty sure it would be a tie between Sam and Riley. XD

14. Hmm.. Leigh maybe? With his flowers, and his baking, his painting and even his demeanor... Even tho in headspace he doesn't live in a cottage, but in a loft apartememt. ^^

15. There are a few the majority of us likes.. But all of us? ... Guess the closest would then have to be; "Welcome to the black parade" by MCR ~¥~

16. Oh uh, hehe... Yeah, there definitely have been times where a purposefully unopened pack of sweets kinda disappeared .. :3

17. Eh.. Maybe Liam? If he would be older? Idk...

18. Anthony and Itami are out the most due to their relationships and Anthony having a son... But we'd like to switch with others more often.. It's just really hard and draining... Especially since Anthony has not been doing very well lately...

19. In a good or a bad way? Good way; most songs of Big Bang or G-Dragon are able to attract Anthony and/or Sam. ^^ bad way; certain christian songs can be really triggering for us, especially for Shiro.

20. Trust; Anthony, Sam, Itami, and Riley. Not trust; everyone else.. For different reasons (we write lovingly) xD.

21. Zero just appeared out of nowhere a few weeks ago... He makes us all feel a bit uneasy.. He doesn't really interact with any of us and there's just something... unfamiliar about him - which is a first. And on a lighter note; the crush of an alter that will remain unnamed ^^.

22. Oh yes, some a bit similiar, some completely different. And trying to be unbiased here; with the physical body; Itami; and in headspace; River. :3

23. No... We are more or less able to communicate in headspace/our inside world(s), and most of the missing pieces we are able to gather from our partner system, and/or Anthony and Itamis best friend. ^^

24. Kiaran! Definitely Kiaran! You know... Teenage boy enjoying some alone time and stuff xD

25. Riley; they love food and definitely have a sweet-tooth! Or the more obvious answer; Liam and/or Christians, littles are technically children, and what kid can say no to candy, hm? XD

26. Well, due to us not being able to co-front, whoever is out gets to enjoy the medium of their choice; which most of the time tends to be more social media than really watching anything. Aside from Itami and Anthony; they have a tendency of bingewatching shows on streaming pages. ^^

27. Oh yeah, a whole bunch of them! And save for some really spefic ones, they all get shared with whomever wants/needs them. :3

28. If the alter in question is not too lazy or preoccupied; yes.

29. Ha! Trick question! There are no evil alters! <3 But we definitely have some sadists and/or alters who can be dangerous to other people. Tho no names will be written; for safety, protection, and .. well, personal reasons.

30. River is the only girl of the system (among the 13 alters we know, that is ^^). Riley identifies as nonbinanry, not sure about Shiro and Zero, but definitely not female, and everyone else is male. :3

So, that was it! Don't know if anyone is ever even gonna read this.. Or find it interesting... But it definitely helped me stay focused - and that was really, really helpful, believe me!

...oh and me? I am Anthony. But i thought writing everything in 3rd person would be easier to read and understand. Hope I was right xD.

Anyways, if anyone actually came this far; take care! :3

System Ask Game!

Here's an ask game for systems except it's not the same questions over and over again! Some of these questions are pretty weird but all of them are fun, I hope you enjoy!

This ask game is only for traumagenic DID/OSDD systems! Endos and supporters do not touch this post please and thank you.

Who is the tallest alter? How tall are they?

If you had a dollar for every member of your system, what could you buy?

Have you ever accidentally laughed out loud in public because of something your alters did in the innerworld?

Which alter can do something that no one else in the system can do? What is it?

What's your favorite inside joke within the system?

Describe being a system in 10 words or less.

What's one thing that everyone in the system hates?

What's the weirdest thing about your innerworld, if you have one?

Do you have a partner system? Do you want one?

What's the weirdest thing you've came into the front to find?

Does anyone in your system have a crush?

What is co-fronting like for you? Do you co-front with your alters frequently?

You're stuck on a deserted island with all of your alters: Who would be the first one to find a way to escape?

Who's the resident cottagecore alter?

What's the one song that everyone in the system likes?

Have you ever eaten your alter's food that they saved for later?

Go to this random person generator and get a random person. Which alter do they resemble the most?

How often do you switch? Do you wish that you switched more or less?

What's that one song that you can't listen to without another alter poking their head into the front?

Which alter would you trust to file your taxes? Which alter would you never let near your taxes in a million years?

Spill the tea: What's the latest in-system drama?

Do your alters have different fashion senses? Who has the best fashion sense?

Do you have a discord server for your system to communicate in?

Which alter takes the longest showers?

All of your Halloween candy mysteriously went missing - Which alter is most likely to blame?

What is watching TV like for you as a system? Do your alters comment on what you're watching?

Do you have any stuffed animals? Do they belong to the whole system, or individual alters?

Do different alters style the body's hair different ways?

Who is the evilest alter?

Tell me a random fun fact about your system!

[agony-delta37]

Couldn't have said it better myself

Here we have an absolutely terrible take from a pro endo! What a surprise /s

Not tagging them because, well, I need content to put out on tumblr and I don't give a shit if they call me immature or scared :)

Pro endos: Sysmeds are sOoOo violent we are the innocent victims here 🥺🥺🥺

Also Pro endos: I WILL THROW YOU AGAINST THE WALL AND HURT YOU SO BAD YOU CAN NEVER INVALIDATE OTHERS AGAIN!!!!!

Seriously, we are made out to be the victims, yet we are harrassed, doxxed, villainised, told we can't have our own spaces, etc, but of course, pro endos can do this and it gets called "heros" and "allies*.

So, let's dissect this.

Anyway, trauma isn't the only way to become a system

Tell that to the decades of studies done on systems, starting from almost a century ago. Hell, there's not even any recent unbiased proof endos exist. If there was, wouldnt doctors, psychiatrists etc interview them?

and plurality isn't inherently disordered

What because your beloved ICD says so? Guess what, the ICD isn't the only place where disorder information is at, the DSM-V exsists as well. Also, you say "plurality isn't disordered" but then others in your community contradict that by saying "I'm endogenic and disordered and 1000000℅ valid uwu" which, by your (your being endo apologists) logic, is contradictory and an oxymoron, and also frankly impossible.

And if you try to fight me on this I will mock you and block you

Wow so mature. /s

This just shows they don't want any actual proof, or education on the subject of systems, I get blocking people is a valid thing, but not when people are trying to educate you and when they are actively being harmed by the misinformation your community spreads. Also "mock you", really? I can tell you that no anti endo gives two flying fucks about you mocking them, in fact, if you read this (which I doubt you will) you would probably implode and scream, if not, go crying to your endo friends about the " mEaN sYsMeD" invalidating either you, your friends, or other apologists.

[agony-delta37]

[agony-delta37]

[agony-delta37]

Always nice to see bigot's stupidity leading to them shooting themselves in the foot!

[agony-delta37]

Please don't repost! Okay to reblog!!