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[apus-neverstoplooking]

i hate being out in public because why are you looking at me? why are your eyes on me? why are you looking in my direction? I KNOW YOURE LOOKING PLS STOP 😭😭😭

[apus-neverstoplooking]

Prompt: Gold, 389 words, @jegulus-microfic

*the quote that Regulus says to James if from ‘The Picture of Dorian Gray’ by Oscar Wilde*

James has had a long day. Regulus is aware of this the moment he looks up from the couch when James walks in the door of their flat.

He looks utterly defeated with his hair more tousled than normal, heavy eye bags, and a slouched posture. Regulus is prepared to burn whoever made his Jamie feel like this. They got to a place where James allows Regulus to see that side of him, the side that doesn’t smile all the time or bring that special ‘James Potter Energy ™️’ that people expect him to have. Regulus gets to see the side of James that isn’t okay, he’s the only one who gets that side.

James walks over and immediately falls into Regulus’s lap, wrapping his arms around his waist and attempting to burrow into his chest. Regulus simply cards a hand through his hair, scratching his scalp every so often. When James gets like this it’s best to just let him be until he’s ready to talk.

“Are you ready to talk about it mon amour?” Regulus asks after about 10 minutes.

James nods his head, but even then, it won’t be for another few minutes until James actually starts to speak. Regulus gave him the space to speak because sometimes James feels like his problems are less important and that people don’t want to hear about them, so Regulus always makes sure to remind him that he wants to talk about it without being pushy.

“Just work, it’s not even that big of a deal.” He mumbles from Regulus’s chests.

“Hey, hey, hey, if it’s important to you it’s important to me, regardless of what it is.

“I know.” James says after a moment, “I just feel like we’re not doing anything. I joined the ministry because I wanted to change things but we’re not changing anything. I’m not changing anything.

“Look at me me Jamie.” Regulus says gently.

James looks into Regulus gray eyes, his brown ones red-rimmed.

“The world is changed because you are made of Ivory and Gold.” He says each word intentionally, so James knows he means them.

James’s face is glowing; a smile that could light up galaxies.

“If I’m made of ivory and gold, then I think you’re made of ebony and silver.”

It’s oddly fitting for the sun and the stars.

[apus-neverstoplooking]

807 words, prompt: Hallway, @jegulus-microfic

cw: codependency, the relationship can be read as toxic but it’s not meant to be, angst w/ a happy ending, fighting (not physical), unhealthy coping mechanisms, implied past nsfw. It sounds worse than it is, I’m just covering my bases here, I promise it’s happy at the end.

Regulus doesn’t even remember what they were fighting about. Probably something small, it always is; James is too hot-headed and Regulus is too stubborn. Neither can admit that they’re wrong until they’re yelling in the kitchen saying words they don’t mean.

Until James walks out the door and Regulus sits in the front hallway pathetically awaiting his return, if he returns at all. Everytime James slams the door behind him, Regulus wonders if it’s for the last time; if he was too cruel, too anxious, too sad, too Regulus for James to keep loving him.

But still he waits because he can’t sleep, he can’t eat, he needs James like stars need hydrogen. And he knows logically that it isn’t healthy, that James shouldn’t be able to have this much of an effect on him, but it’s James. His Jamie.

Normally Regulus sits in a chair and reads. When James walks in the door they drag one another upstairs pulling clothes off and kissing marks into skin, apologizing but not really fixing anything.

This time Regulus trails after him and when the door slams shut he can only slide down the wall. Sobs wracking his body, convinced the sun has left for good.

That’s how James finds him an hour later when he walks through the front door, eyes flicking to the arm chair in the corner before finding Regulus curled up on the floor. Still gasping for air and tears down his face, but no longer crying.

One look at him and James immediately walks back out the front door. Regulus is sure James is leaving him now, and those little sniffles turn back into full body sobs.

Too much.

To cruel.

Too anxious.

Too sad.

Too Regulus.

He can’t communicate. He can’t be good. He can’t love James right. He can’t… he can’t… he…

Too much and never enough.

When James walks in the door for a second time an hour later, Regulus’s head hurts ten times worse than it did an hour ago, his lungs ache and his throat is sore.

James automatically sits down and pulls Regulus into his lap, gently rubbing circles on his back, scratching the back of his head with other hand.

“Reggie, I need to talk to you about something.” He whispers gently. “We can’t keep doing this, it isn’t healthy.”

Regulus immediately stiffens and grips onto the front of James’s shirt. Desperate to keep him close, to keep him here.

“We argue about the dumbest things, then we fight about it. I run off and you sit waiting for me, and when I do get back we just go fuck and don’t even talk about our problems or why we were fighting in the first place.”

“I know bu-“

“I signed up for a therapist, who I’ll be seeing weekly. I don’t ever want to be reason you’re crying on the floor of our entry hall. I want to be good enough for you and love you the way you deserved to be loved. And you don’t deserve being yelled at and abandoned. I love you so fucking much and I’m going to work to be better for you so we can work out because you are by far the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I can’t lose you.”

It’s silent in the hallway. After what has to have been ages, it was only a few minutes, James thinks Regulus has fallen asleep so he gets ready to bring Regulus up to bed.

Regulus murmurs against James’s chest.

“What was that, mis Estrella?”

Regulus pulls back a bit.

“I’ll go too, to therapy I mean. This isn’t just your fault. I know I’m fucked up. I know that. And I’m so sorry. For everything. For every time I didn’t just let shit go. For every time i was so so cruel to you. For every time I made it hard to love me. So I’ll go to therapy too, I think I’m finally ready to accept that I need it.”

If James had the smallest morsel of doubt about his decision before it’s completely gone now. He knows that Regulus wants this relationship to work just as much as he does; that some of his friends were wrong when they said it would be better to breakup, that he was fighting for a dead relationship.

“You’re not hard to love Reg. Loving you has to be the easiest thing I’ve ever done.” And it is, James isn’t lying.

“I love you, Jamie, more than anything.” Regulus has never meant something more.

“I know, my love,” James kisses the top of his head, “go to sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up.”

And Regulus does, he falls asleep and wakes up in James’s arms and he continues to do so for the rest of eternity.

[apus-neverstoplooking]

TW: graphic depictions of self harm (there will be blood, and razor blades) , mental health issues. Please do not read if you think it will trigger you, take care of yourself.

Regulus sits on the edge of the tub, the hot water of the shower in front of him is a stark contrast to the cool porcelain under him.

He was fine yesterday morning, he woke up, made tea and French toast for him and James. He cleaned up the kitchen because he insisted it was his mess to clean up when James tried to help him. It was lovely.

Then it wasn’t. Nothing happened, nothing ever has to happen for him to get like this. One moment he’s fine and then the next he’s crawled up in his bed wearing one of James jumpers and his favorite pajama pants with the lights off. And he doesn’t know why he gets like this. And he hates it.

James is normally here to help him when he gets like this but after breakfast yesterday he had to go to Sirius’s Mandatory Annual Mauraders Weekend Getaway™️. And James’s departure isn’t the reason for this, the last few years have been fine, and these bouts of ‘melancholy’ occur when James is literally right next to him sometimes.

He was supposed to go out with Barty, Evan, and Pandora but he just couldn’t. They came to pick him up and when they didn’t find him dressed they tried to drag him out because he never goes out and needs to socialize. It wasn’t their fault, really, they don’t know he gets like this. He tried to explain that he wasn’t feeling well but when he tried to open his mouth he couldn’t. He hated going non-verbal. He laid face down on his mattress for hours after they left.

He woke up in the morning hoping to feel better and he wasn’t. If anything it was worse and he wanted to relapse so fuckng badly.

He knows he shouldn’t, he’d been doing so well. He hadn’t even wanted to do it again since James found out a year ago. He was supposed to be doing better. He was doing better. Despite these moods, he hasn’t had the urge to relapse.

Until now.

He had decided to take a hot shower, they help sometimes.

That’s how he found himself on the edge of the tub, scalding water splashing in front him. In one hand he’s pinching the outer part of his upper thigh, in the other is a razor blade.

He sees the thin white lines of the marks he carved into his skin but have long since healed. He used to hate them, he felt ashamed of them. But now he kind likes them. Back then they were new, red and angry, now they’re old, silvery and neat. He was happy they were scars because that meant he no longer had any any fresh ones. They meant he stopped, that he was getting better, that he survived.

He knows he should call someone, he supposed to call someone. James told him to call.

James

Sirius

Barty

Evan

Pandora

Dorcas

Remus

Even Narcissa.

All the people he could call, people he should call.

And then he cuts.

Watching the line of crimson bloom against his alabaster skin, watching it turn the water pink.

And he hates himself more for it.

He cuts deeper.

***************************************************

That was rough, I’m basically projecting onto Regulus here and I needed to get it out somehow so I wrote this. I’m sorry if you relate to this at all.

Take care of yourself, drink water, eat something substantial, get some rest. You deserve it, I love you. My DMs are always open.

[apus-neverstoplooking]

Rip regulus arcturus black you would have loved lana del rey

[apus-neverstoplooking]

its so fucked up how difficult it is to move to another country you shouldn’t need a reason or anything you should be able to show up at the border and be like “the vibes were off back home” and they should let you in

[apus-neverstoplooking]

can i just say that Apollo and Hyacinthus are 100% jegulus coded right...

[apus-neverstoplooking]

Most people don’t know that there are two common ways stars die. A supernova. And a planetary nebula.

Supernovas occur when a larger star explodes. The explosion is often bright enough to outshine entire galaxies.

A planetary nebula occurs when a smaller cooler star slowly sheds its outer layers until a white dwarf remains. The result is a small bright point surrounded by a beautiful colorful cloud. They’re bright enough to be seen from Earth.

Regulus thinks he’s a hypernova.

Collapsing in on himself, forming a black hole. Destroying entire galaxies.

[apus-neverstoplooking]

Hiraeth

August 11th actual prompt, Prompt: Home, 275 words, @jegulus-microfic

It’s a calm Saturday afternoon, James and Regulus are curled up on a windowsill in the library; James is running a hand through Regulus’s hair while he reads.

Regulus closes his book and turns to James.

“Can we go to my dorm, I want to take a nap.”

“Yeah, c’mon.”

The couple make their way down to the Slytherin dorms and crawl into Regulus’s bed.

James is laying on his back with Regulus wrapped on top of him.

“Do you want to know what my favorite word is Jamie?” Regulus murmurs against his chest.

“Mhmm”

“It’s ‘Hiraeth’ it’s of Welsh origin and it means ‘a longing for a home you cannot return to or doesn’t exist’.”

“Why’s it your favorite word, my stars?”

“You know how I have a hard time explaining, understanding, and expressing my feelings. It used to describe this feeling I had in my chest for so long. It was a word that described the ache I used to have that wouldn’t go away.” He explains.

“Used to?” James asks, “Do you not have that ache anymore?”

Regulus looks up at him when he speaks next.

“No, Mon amour, I’ve found home. Right here, I no longer need to search for it when he’s laying underneath me.” Regulus cups James face and looks into his eyes, “you’re my home. You make me feel safe, and loved in ways I never was before. You make me feel at peace when I never thought that’d be attainable. I love you so fucking much.”

James is left speechless, Regulus on the other hand curls closer into James’s sheet and falls asleep.

“I love you.” James replies to nobody

[apus-neverstoplooking]

Mine

August 11, Prompt: Jealous. 486 words, cw: mentions of sex but none shown. @jegulus-microfic

Regulus knows what he’s doing.

He and James had been playing this game for a while now. Dancing around one another. Looking, flirting, teasing. Trying to make the other give in. Admit how much they want the other and Regulus is tired of it, but he refuses to lose.

They had never actually flirted with someone else. It’s not like they weren’t allowed, there were no set rules and until someone lost they didn’t owe each other anything. Regulus just doesn’t want anyone else and would much rather spend his time teasing James. But regulus has a games to win.

So that’s why he finds himself at the bar with his and his brothers friends. Wearing a mesh cropped shirt that Pandora picked out with body glitter and eyeliner. He’s sitting on a stool flirting with some random guy who bought him a drink.

Out his perifial vision he sees James glaring at them from across the dance floor.

He puts a carefully calculated hand on the guys shoulder and rubs down his arm. He whispers into the guys ear and he nods so Regulus pulls back to lead him onto the dance floor.

He doesn’t know the song that’s playing but he can figure out the beats and rhythm pretty quickly. He throws his head back and starts moving his hips in time with the music.

He sneaks a glance over to James who now has his jaw clenched.

It’s working.

The guys puts a hand on his bare hips and starts moving with him.

James had him hands balled up tight in a fist, his legs tapping impatiently.

Regulus takes a subtle step back and puts his hands in front of him while whatever his name was puts both hands on him. The hands start to wander and Regulus is about to step away when he feels a hand pull him away. He snaps his eyes open to find a very livid James.

He’s dragged into the bathroom and pushed against the door before being kissed roughly.

“You think you’re cute? Flirting with random guys for everyone to see? Letting him touch you. What, were you going to let him fuck you too?” James grumbles against his lips as he pulls away.

“Aww is Jamie jealous?” Regulus teases.

“I don’t like people touching what’s mine.”

“Who said I’m yours? Because you certainly haven’t said anything.”

James grabs his chin and forces Regulus to look him in the eye.

“Mine.”

He kisses him.

“Mine.”

Again.

“You’re mine.”

He kisses him again.

“And who do you belong to?” Regulus cocks his head.

“You.”

Regulus just raises a brow in response

“I’m yours, and only yours.”

“So prove it.” Regulus smirks up at him.

And he did. A few hours later, thoroughly debauched and exhausted but so very aware of where they stand with one another Regulus whispers 2 words into James bruise covered neck.

“I won.”

[apus-neverstoplooking]

The Sun, Stars, and Rain

2.05k Words, August 10, Prompt: Rain, @jegulus-microfic

I’m sorry it’s so long, I didn’t mean for this to drag out, but I hope you enjoy.

James never realized how much his relationship revolved around rain until it started in the middle of his wedding.

***

It was second year when he met Regulus. He was sitting in the ‘Mauraders’ train compartment. Remus and Peter had gone to the restroom and Sirius hadn’t shown up yet. He was watching the water droplets roll down the window when he heard the door slide open behind him. It was Sirius.

And behind him was the most beautiful boy he’d ever seen. His hair was more tamed than Sirius’s but a lot more curly. He had freckles splashed across his nose and cheeks. His striking silver eyes were surrounded by long eyelashes.

Sirius tackled him into a hug and he saw the boy’s face drop, he hadn’t even known he was smiling in the first place. His eyes lost the sparkle and were now a duller shade of gray.

Sirius pulled away and tugged him into the compartment.

“James, meet my brother Regulus,” his his gestures between them, “Regulus, meet my best friend James.”

Regulus stuck his hand out and James look at him confused for a moment before shaking his hand.

“Hello, James.” He said quickly.

“Hey, Reggie.” James smiled at him.

“Don’t call me that.” He pulled his hand away and James found he missed the feeling.

Before he could respond Sirius cut in.

“Anyway, I’m going to go find Marlene, I’ll be back soon. Reg, please be here when I get back.”

“If you insist.” He rolled his eyes.

“Thank you.” Sirius said as he left.

Regulus took a seat next to him since Peter and Remus had there stuff on the seat across from him.

It was silent for a moment until a large crack of thunder rang out through the sky. Regulus jumped in his seat and grabbed James’s arm, crowding into his space. He liked the feeling of Regulus pressed up against his side. But before he could react Sirius burst into the compartment herding Regulus out.

“I’m taking him to the bathroom, he hates sudden loud noises.” He said on his way out.

***

Regulus didn’t talk to him for years after that. The only interaction James had with him was when Regulus would send a glare his way.

It was the end of James 5th year when he was wandering the halls. He stopped for a moment to look out onto the courtyard, careful not to get his clothes wet from the rain that had been pouring down for the last hour or two. He saw a body laid out on the grass dressed in all black. It was hard to tell who it was exactly from this far and with the rain in the way.

Luckily, a few moment later the rain stopped and the sun came out brighter than ever. He watched the figure get up and start walking towards the castle. He could start to make out the features.

Regulus.

Water dripping down the curls that had fallen in his face. His cheeks flushed and eyes bright. His lips had the tiniest of smiles. He looked alive.

James was determined to see it again.

Sometimes it’s easy to forget how illuminating stars are when you’ve only ever seen them appear dim.

***

Regulus is being aggressive. He’s always agressive on the quidditch pitch, but this is a little much. James would’ve chalked it up to the particular nature of this game except Regulus had been like this the entire time.

It’s the last game of the year, Slytherin vs. Gryffindor. They keep tying and have been playing for hours. It’s up to their seekers to win the match but it’s pouring and hard to see anything, let alone the snitch.

People have started going back to their dorm and the refs are considering calling the match when Regulus flies up and dives.

Catching the snitch.

Ending the match.

Giving Slytherin the victory.

“What’s wrong?” James asked Regulus once everyone left the locker room.

“Nothing Potter, I’m fine.” Regulus leaves the locker room, slamming the door.

James, apparently unable to take a hint, follows him.

“Hey, Reg, wait.” It’s still pouring outside.

Regulus stops in the middle of the pitch. Body stiff.

“I just want to help. You’re Sirius brother and I-“

“And that’s the problem. You’re a people pleaser and I’m just Sirius’s baby brother.”

“What do you mean?” James is getting irritated, he’s not a people pleaser.

“If only you were as intelligent as you were tall.” He mutters.

James is really getting pissed now, he really is intelligent, just because he likes to have fun too doesn’t mean he can’t be smart.

“I am intelligent, you’re just cryptic as fuck.”

“I’m no-“ he takes a deep breath, “you really don’t get it do you?”

“Get what Regulus?” James is shouting, they were already talking loud because of the rain but now his voice can be heard crystal clear. “I don’t get why you hate me so much.”

“Oh, for fucks sake, you really are an idiot.”

“Don-“

He doesn’t finish his sentence because regulus is striding towards him.

And then James feels Regulus lips on his.

Holy shit

Regulus is kissing him.

This is what ascending feels like, James can die a happy man. Their argument washing away with the rain as they kiss in the down pour.

***

Regulus is already at the top of the Astronomy tower when James ascends the steps, the smell of rain in the air. It’s the night before the Hogwarts Express takes the students home for the Summer, or in James’s case forever. The Mauraders were having a celebration but James had snuck to out to get some alone time.

He wraps his arms around Regulus’s waist and pecks his cheek before putting his head on his shoulder.

“Hey, Mi amor.” He whispers.

“Hello, Mon soleil.” But he sounds guarded, distant. James waits a moment and just holds him until Regulus has fully relaxed in his arms.

“What are you thinking about?” He asks quietly. Regulus stiffens and James rubs a hand up his arm. He knows Regulus struggles to verbalize what he’s thinking and/or feeling, if he knows that himself. Regulus relaxes again and it’s silent for a moment.

“You, us. How we leave tomorrow. How I’m coming back next year and you’re not. How you’re about to go off and start your life and I’ll just be your school boyfriend. How you’ll meet people smarter, nicer, better looking, and emotional available than I am, people who are way more deserving of your love…”

James couldn’t believe it, how could Regulus not see how amazing he is. How fucking perfect. How could he think he’d want anyone else when he already has the most wonderful boyfriend to ever exist.

“… and I’m just wo-“ Regulus is starting to hyperventilate.

“Regulus,” he hugs him a little tighter, trying to ground him, “please breathe love.”

It takes a few tries for his breathing to return to normal.

“Do you want to know something funny?”

Regulus just nods his head.

“I’ve been in love with you since I was 12. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was. You walked into the compartment and you were the most beautiful person I had ever seen. You shook my hand and I thought it was the most absurd thing ever but I didn’t want you to stop. You sat next to me and I didn’t want you to move. You jumped practically into my arms and I wanted to hold you there forever. Even when you hated me, it wa-“

“I never hated you.” Regulus cut in.

“You what?”

“I never hated you.” He says simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Quite the opposite actually, I think I liked you too much for my own good.”

“What are talking about?” James asked confused. “You acted like I was the literal bane of your existence.”

“Because you were. I wanted to hate you so bad and I just couldn’t. Sirius was all I had for so long, sure I was rich but that wasn’t mine, Sirius was. And then one day he left for Hogwarts and he became yours. You were everything my parents hated and I had to play their game to survive. But more than that, I spent my whole life wanting things I couldn’t have, and I couldn’t want you more than I already did.”

James turns Regulus around. Pulling him to sit on the ground.

“We’ll now I know you really love me,” James joked, Regulus hadn’t said ‘I love you’ yet, they had been dating since they kissed on the quidditch pitch a year and half ago. But it’s fine, really it is, James knows Regulus struggles with things like that. They had been dating for 6 months before he told Sirius his presence was tolerable. “you’re sitting on the rain soaked floor in your nice trousers for me.”

Regulus was quiet a moment.

“I do love you.” He whispers, like he’s too shy to admit it, “I don’t think a universe exists where I don’t love you.”

“Say it again.” James smiles like he can’t believe it.

“I love you.” Regulus said louder.

“Again.”

“I love you.” This time it’s paired with a kiss on his cheek.

James looks into Regulus’s eyes. “I’m never going to leave you. Here-” James reaches behind his neck and pulls off his necklace. A little gold ‘J’ his Abuela had gotten him for his 13th birthday, he’s never taken it off. He puts it on Regulus.

“I love you.” Regulus says again.

“I know.”

“But I also fucking hate you for having me sit on this wet ground.” He glared at him.

“I know.” He’s smiling.

***

Regulus no longer jumps at the sound of thunder. But that doesn’t mean he won’t take the opportunity to cuddle into James’s chest.

James knows Regulus isn’t scared of thunder anymore, and he knows that Regulus only pretends to so he can cuddle into his chest. He doesn’t care however, he could never turn Regulus down.

James watches Regulus read his book with one hand and the other running absentmindedly through their cat’s fur and occasionally pick up his tea from their coffee table. He could spend forever doing this, he wants to. After a while Regulus looks up at him.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked quietly.

“Marry me.” James barely heard himself murmur.

“What?”

“Marry me.” he says a bit louder.

“Are you asking me or telling me?” He raises a brow

“Asking but I’m not entertaining the thought of you saying no.”

Regulus looks down and starts twisting his rings around his fingers, a nervous habit.

“Are you sure?” His voice is quiet, like he’s afraid of the answer. James wonders how Regulus could even think that he didn’t want to marry him. He tries to tilt Regulus’s chin up but he keeps it firmly pressed to his chest.

“Regulus, look at me please mis estrellas.” He tugs gently on his chin again, this time Regulus let’s him. He cups his hands against the side of Regulus’s face and kisses him gently for a moment. He pulls back to look him directly in his eyes, he swears they’re made of stardust.

“I have never been more sure of anything in my life. I love you so fucking much Regulus, there aren’t enough words in any language to describe it. I would want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re it for me. So please do me the honor of marrying you.”

Regulus looks at him for a moment, his face softening.

“Okay.”

James smile could’ve lighted up the world.

“Okay?”

“Okay, I’ll marry you.”

And somehow James’s smile grew. That night Regulus cuddled impossibly closer to James and not because of the storm raging outside.

***

“I do.” Regulus whispered, like he was only speaking to James, “I so fucking do.”

“With the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may now kiss your husband.”

They felt the droplets the second their lips met.

They smiled into the kiss. Nobody knew how important the rain was to newly wedded couple, but they clapped and cheered because even still they were happy. So their first kiss as husbands may have been a little cold and wet, but it was theirs and it was perfect. Just like they were each other’s until death do they part, but even death could never separate the sun and the stars.

[apus-neverstoplooking]

do it for me

jegulus microfic. 1,399 words. nsfw (based off of this, which i haven’t been able to stop thinking about since i saw it). enjoy <3

James has had a long fucking day. He can’t remember the last time he had this much paperwork, this many contracts demanding his attention. Usually he would walk in the door of the flat he shares with his boyfriend and go straight for the liquor cabinet, a nice Scotch to salve his frayed nerves, but tonight he craves something different. Something sweeter.

This is how he finds himself debauched, shirt half-off his shoulders and tie haphazardly tossed aside, lying on the plush carpet of their living room, face buried between Regulus’ thighs, spit and cum dribbling in rivulets down his chin.

It started when he walked through the front door and Regulus greeted him in the hallway, gray joggers low on his hips, one of James’ old shirts cut into a crop top, exposing the taut expanse of his stomach. That damn JFP tattoo that makes James run circles around himself when he sees it.

“Hey, James.” Regulus tossed a towel over his shoulder; it caught some of his curls, ruffling his hair. “You’re home earlier than I thought. Dinner isn’t ready yet.”

Regulus, a chef. Content to make everything under the sun and then some. James never complains, though sometimes he does feel a bit bad. On those nights, he refuses to let Regulus cook. Makes them grilled cheese like Euphemia taught him and hopes for the best.

“Couldn’t take another second at the office.” James dropped his briefcase and yanked at his tie. “You look—Well, fucking delicious.”

Regulus cocked his head. He leaned against the wall, a slight grin on his full lips. “You think?”

“How long before dinner is ready?”

“It has to simmer for twenty-five minutes.”

James grinned. “That’s a perfect amount of time for me to eat you out.”

Regulus’ skin flushed pink right to the high point of his cheekbones. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. I’ve had a long day, and all I want right now is for you to sit on my face.” James shrugged his jacket off and dropped it on the floor. He didn’t care about it. He had plenty more. “Come on, love. We only have twenty-five minutes and I want to use all twenty-five.”

And Regulus, never one to tell him no with too much bite, was on him in a second. Arms and legs wrapped around him, kissing James with reckless abandon. James walked them into the living room and laid Regulus on the plush carpet. They worked most of their clothes off, but James was only concerned with the joggers.

Regulus hardly ever wore anything underneath.

James pressed his thumb to the apex of Regulus’ thighs and smiled at the whimper that tumbled off his lips. “Fucking incredible. I missed you.”

“Not sure if you’re talking to me or what’s between my legs,” muttered Regulus, squirming under the pressure of James’ thumb on his clit. Close but not moving; torture.

James swirled his thumb, gentle, and delighted in the arch of Regulus’ back. “Both, baby. Always both.” Then he ducked down, arms under Regulus’ thighs, hands on his stomach, and mouth running up Regulus’ slit, collecting the taste of him on his tongue.

It was after about ten minutes of this, of James savoring every lick and suck and nip like it would be his last meal, that Regulus managed, barely coherent, “Let me—fuck—let me ride your face. James.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” James pulled back just enough for Regulus to slip out from underneath him, then turned to lie flat. He expected Regulus to sit the way he always does, but he merely shifted forward, sitting backwards. “Oh, that’s new.”

“Too lazy to turn around.” Regulus laid his palms flat on James’ chest. “You can—Shit, James. That feels—”

But his voice broke, shattered, and this is how James came to be under Regulus in their living room, the taste of him so addicting that James isn’t willing to stop. Doesn’t want to. Refuses. He keeps bringing Regulus to the edge, but won’t let him fall over.

“I’m gonna—” is the start that gets James to stop. Even when Regulus grinds down on him, searching for the last bit of pressure that will send him over, James just gives him kitten licks, soft little kisses that do nothing for him but make him growl in frustration.

“James, we don’t have time for you to be coy.”

“Twenty-five minutes, baby.” James’ tongue darts in, then out, then in again. Swirls around his entrance, tasting.

“Yes, but that was twenty minutes ago.”

James blows warm breath over Regulus, laughing when he shivers, thighs quivering around James’ head. “Fine. You’re just so delicious and I needed this.”

“You can fuck me after dinner,” Regulus points out. He leans back, adjusts his position, and suddenly there are two hands on James’ throat. Not applying too much pressure, but holding Regulus aloft. Cool rings press into James’ hot skin. “So make me come now.”

James doesn’t argue. He gets back to his ministrations, tongue and mouth working in perfect synchronization to bring Regulus back to the edge. Truly, eating Regulus out is only trumped by fucking him. But James could do this all day.

There’s a squeeze at his throat, fingers digging in. “James,” warns Regulus in a broken voice. “One minute.”

His jaw aches, his face is shiny with spit and cum, and there is nothing he loves more than this. James swirls his tongue around Regulus’ clit, groaning when the pressure on his neck increases, a warning, and he runs the tip of it back through wet folds, long strips that he knows Regulus loves.

“Fuck, I’m—Don’t you dare fucking stop,” Regulus grits out, and now his hands are squeezing hard enough that James isn’t breathing. Regulus grinds down on his face, uses his mouth and tongue, and James lets himself be used so Regulus can chase the edge and fall right over.

He’d do anything for Regulus, after all. Bend himself backward and let himself snap if it’s what Regulus asked of him. He’s putty in the hands of the man above him.

It’s at the exact moment the timer in the kitchen goes off that Regulus comes, his orgasm so intense it shakes his entire body, thighs clenching around James. His vision has gone a little spotty from lack of oxygen, but the hands on his neck loosen when cum hits his tongue. He laps at it eagerly as his lungs fill with air, and it makes the whole experience that much more intense.

Regulus is everywhere, the taste and smell and feel of him, and James forgets all about contracts and irritating clients and whatever else he dealt with at work. He’s floating on a cloud that is shaped with all of Regulus’ dips and valleys.

“Shit, the fucking pasta,” mutters Regulus, struggling to his feet.

James whines at the loss of him; he wants to keep Regulus firmly seated on his face. He’s aching in his suit trousers, hard and desperate for relief, but Regulus is gone, disappearing into the kitchen at a run.

James licks his lips, grinning. Blissed out. He stretches like a cat, then reaches down to press the heel of his hand to his cock. The pressure helps a little, at least.

“You’re so lucky the pasta isn’t ruined.” Regulus comes to stand over him, lips pursed and brow arched. “You look like a fucking mess.”

“Thank you.” James grins stupidly up at him. “Now we eat?”

“No. The sauce is simmering.” Regulus presses his foot to James’ cock through his trousers. It rips a groan out of James’ throat. “Ten minutes.”

James grins, eyes rolling back in his head when Regulus applies a little more pressure. “I’ve fucked you in half that.”

“And I expect you to do it again.”

This time, they don’t hear the timer. James is buried in Regulus, fucking him into the couch, and Regulus is loud, begging for more, for James to go harder. It’s twenty minutes later, after Regulus has come twice more and James spills inside him, that they remember the pasta.

“Fuck. I’m sorry.” Regulus shoves curls off his sweat-slicked forehead. His ankles are crossed at James’ lower back, holding him inside. “It was a new recipe.”

“S’fine, love,” James mumbles into his neck. He feels loose, all of his threads scattered and content. “I’ll just make us grilled cheese.”

[apus-neverstoplooking]

There are all my WIPs, please feel free to ask questions, share your ideas, comment, literally anything. I need severe motivation to write. A basic description of each fic can be found below <3

Born Sick: Muggle AU. the Blacks are extremely religious and deeply involved in the Church, and so is the entire town they live in just 20 minutes outside of London. Regulus hates it and since Sirius left he just has his 2 best friends Barty and Pandora. What happens when James Potter moves to town?

Jealous, Jealous!: No Voldemort AU. Lily and James just made it official. Mary Macdonald wants to be supportive for one of her best friends but she’s burning with jealousy, Regulus Black notices. What’s with Mary and Regulus weird new friendship? Why does Mary have a new partner every week? Why is Regulus sleeping around all of a sudden?

Rockstar: Modern Band AU. The Pantheon is a band with member Regulus Black, Evan Rosier, Pandora Lovegood, Barty Crouch Jr, and Dorcas Meadowes. Sirius radomly shows up at a concert after 7 years of no contact with his boyfriend and best friend who is someone even cuter than he was 7 years ago.

The Return of Regulus Black: Canon Compliant until the end of the The Deathly Hallows where the fic starts. Regulus Black never died in the cave that day, he’s been in hiding trying to help out Harry from the shadows. Only when everyone thinks their savior has died does he reveal himself. Post war.

[apus-neverstoplooking]

Regulus scans the crowd as Pandora hit the last note of the pre-chorus. His black lined eyes lock with someone he hadn’t seen in 7 years. Gray meets gray.

“I even cut my hair and changed my name” Regulus’s raspy voice sang in the mic, as the guitar faded Keeping his eyes on Sirius.

“‘Cause we all…” The lights flash and smoke shoots up from the stage. His ring clad fingers start strumming the guitar slung across his tattered black shirt that he ripped the sleeves off of and cropped. Barty comes back in with drums, cueing the others on their timing.“just wanna be big rockstars.”

“And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars.” Evan makes his way over to Regulus with his Bass

“The boys come easy,” Regulus winks at Evan and smirks flashing his sharp canines, “and the drugs come cheap.”

Regulus slides his guitar behind his back and runs a hand through his black curls before grabbing the microphone. Tilting his head up while bending his knees down , getting close to the mic stand in a way that’s borderline obscene. He straightens up, keeping his face close to the mic while tapping his black converse to the beat. “We’ll all stay skinny ‘cause we just won’t eat.”

“And we'll hang out in the coolest bars

In the VIP with the movie stars. Every good gold digger’s gonna wind up there. Every Playboy bunny with her bleach blond hair.” He makes eye contact with blonde in the front row. “And we'll hide out in the private rooms

with the latest dictionary of today's who's who

They'll get you anything with that evil smile…” He smiles, showing off his perfect teeth.

“Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial, well. Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar.”

The band played out the rest of the song and waited a moment for Regulus to drink some water before they did the introductions. That’s how their shows worked; They opened with ‘Rockstar’, did the introductions, sang half their set list, actually talked to the crowd for a bit and not just fuck with them between songs, sang the second half, say their goodbyes, and then sang a final surprise song which changed every show.

“How’s everybody doing tonight?” Regulus shouted into the mic. The crowd screaming back at him.

“I take it that means well? Why am I even asking? Of course you’re doing well, I’m here.” Regulus let a smile ghost his lips as he was once again, screamed at.

“We’ll I’m sure most of you know who we are, but as I’ve learned; assume nothing.” He looked at Sirius briefly. “So I’m going to introduce us very quickly so we can get on with our night.”

He picked up the microphone and started walking around.

“First up, we have Evan Rosier playing the Bass.” Who bowed dramatically as crowd cheered.” “I said, we have EVAN ROSIER playing the bass!”

He said the names twice: once normally and let crowd cheer a bit, the second time he yelled while putting more emphasis on their names so the crowd screamed louder.

“Pandora Lovegood as our lead guitarist.” She played out a quick riff. “I’m sorry, did you not hear me. We have PANDORA LOVEGOOD as our lead guitarist!”

“Our drummer is Barty Crouch Jr.” He stopped spinning the drumstick between his finger and quickly hit all of the drums. “Excuse me, our drummer is BARTY CROUCH JR!”

“Next we have Dorcas Meadows on Keyboard. However, like the amazing woman she is will play several different instruments depending on the song.” Dorcas pulled her silver sunglasses down her nose and with a wink, blew a kiss out into the crowd. “Oh c’mon, you guys can do better than that, especially for DORCAS MEADOWS.”

“As always, I’m Regulus Black, you’re lead singer and rythme guitarist.”

“And we are The Pantheon!” Regulus held out the mic for the crowd and winced at how loud they were.

They started performing again, just having fun. Someone threw a pride flag on stage that Regulus picked and started running around with as he sang.

Doing shows was Regulus’ favorite part of the job, besides actually making the music. He wasn’t really fond of the being famous part. His fans were great, he just wasn’t really a people person. He preferred to keep to himself, and also had really anxiety. Performing was different, when Regulus was on stage he became a different person. He didn’t have to be him.

****

“I want to change the last song.” Regulus said as soon as the band got backstage after saying their goodbyes.

“What?”

“Why?”

“You can’t be serious”

“Is everything alright?”

Their confusion wasn’t unwarranted, they pre-plan the song that morning at breakfast as part of their show day routine. They have never once changed it after it was picked.

“My brother, Sirius, he’s here.” He was starting to panic now as it started to set in.

“Oh shit”

“Fuck dude.”

“You have a brother?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Yeah, he’s about a year older than me and ran away when I was 14. I haven’t seen him since. I’ll explain the rest later but we have to get back on stage.”

“What song do you want to do?” Dorcas asked.

“Family line.” It was a song Regulus wrote a while ago and to scared to actually release it, he leaked it to Twitter on a fake account. He wanted it out there because he knew there were kids out there who could relate, but the thought of putting something that vulnerable into the world was terrifying. The band has refused to comment on it.

“Are you sure Reggie?” Pandora looked at him like he could shatter. It wasn’t out of pity or because she thought he would shatter, they just cared very deeply and always so gentle with everything except a guitar.

“Yes.” He wasn’t really, but he needed to do this.

***

“Apologies for the wait as I mentioned previously we were having a few problems, but we’re all good now.”

“At the end of every show we sing a ‘surprise’ song that’s different every show. Some you are going to be very excited by the song we’ve chosen, while others may have no idea.”

Regulus smiles a bit at the crowd, watching as the whispered to one another.

“Now this song is bit different from our usually style and it’s not claimed by us officially. You know we’ve been dodging questions since it’s been released, but I suppose now’s as good as ever.” He looked at Sirius, who was watching intently from his spot in the crowd. Everyone else in the audience was getting more excited.

“In case anyone has yet to guess, we present you ‘Family Line’.

The crowd starting screaming.

The band started playing the opening cords as the lights dimmed, and the crowd started quieting down. The people who knew quieted down out of respect and the rest did because everyone else did.

Regulus closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he started singing in the mic.

“My father never talked a lot. He just took a walk around the block 'til all his anger took a hold of him and then he'd hit.”

“My mother never cried a lot. She took the punches, but she never fought 'til she said, "I'm leaving, and I'll take the kids" so she did.”

“I say they're just the ones who gave me life;

But I truly am my parents' child.”

“Scattered 'cross my family line. I'm so good at telling lies that came from my mother's side

told a million to survive. Scattered 'cross my family line. God, I have my father's eyes but my brother's when I cry. I can run, but I can't hide from my family line.”

‘It's hard to put it into words how the holidays will always hurt. I watch the fathers with their little girls and wonder what I did to deserve this.”

“How could you hurt a little kid? I can't forget, I can't forgive you 'Cause now I'm scared that everyone I love will leave me.” He opened his eyes and looked directly at Sirius before looking away to scan the crowd.

“Scattered 'cross my family line. I'm so good at telling lies that came from my mother's side; told a million to survive. Scattered 'cross my family line. God, I have my father's eyes but my brother's when I cry. I can run, but I can't hide

From my family line.”

“From my family line.”

“Oh, all that I did to try to undo it. All of my pain and all your excuses. I was a kid but I wasn't clueless. (Someone who loves you wouldn't do this). All of my past, I tried to erase it. But now I see, would I even change it? Might share a face and share a last name, but (We are not the same).” Regulus looked back over to where Sirius is only to find him gone.

“Scattered 'cross my family line. I'm so good at telling lies that came from my mother's side;

Told a million to survive. Scattered across my family line. God, I have my father's eyes, but my sister's when I cry. I can run, but I can't hide from my family line.”

“From my family line.”

Dorcas hit the the final note and the band ran off stage.

——————————————————————————

The song that played at the beginning was ‘Rockstar’ by Nickelback and the last song was ‘Family line’ by Conan Gray except I changed the ‘sister’ to ‘brother’ so it fit.