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I’ve been having a few thoughts about the reveal of Fyodor’s ability and what it means for Fyolai. We all thought that it had to do with touch, honestly we believed this to reason.

But that means we all thought Nikolai was one of the rare people that weren’t scared to touch Fyodor and that Fyodor would willingly keep alive, which is honestly so cool for their dynamic.

But now it’s not valid anymore, and rather than see how sad that fact is I’ve been thinking about how amazing and even more complex their new dynamic is.

As much as I’ve understood; Fyodor kills when he gets killed to use the one that killed him as a new receptacle, a new way to host his existence, his ability seeming to transcend even time.

We all know how much Nikolai wished to kill Fyodor himself, that much is made so clear. But what if he did ? What if Nikolai did kill Fyodor ? Would have Fyodor took Nikolai’s life in turn ?

And does Nikolai know about his ability ? Did he know that if he killed Fyodor his own life was in the gamble ? If he did, did he want to kill Fyodor so bad to give him his existence ? Or because he wanted to himself die and become Fyodor ?

I’ve been having so many questions… I’ve never deep dived into Fyolai and their relationship, I really have a surface level of the whole thing going on around them but still they absolutely fascinate me.

(Also just a note that doesn’t have anything to do with Nikolai but Fyodor’s ability name seems so obvious now… the crime being killing Fyodor and punishment having your existence replaced with his own. Absolutely iconic if you ask me)

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Did I do it right ?

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Labru is just, so perfect in my eyes.

On one side you got a basic blond white man who’s only spark is his premium autism and that constantly gets into awkward social situations because of it.

On the other you got the pretty boy and smooth talker who’s overly aware of his social interactions and always tends to overthink and over analyze everything in his environment in order not to make things awkward at any given point.

In the end Kabru can absolutely not escape the awkwardness with Laios no matter how much he thinks things over, he always has to take the weirdest paths to talk with him, saying things he never thought he would and willingly putting himself in awkward situations in order to bound with Laios.

But its also good in a way because it inevitably pushes Kabru to be true with Laios and himself, he never gains anything from lying to him. Honesty is the best route with autism, communication is so important with autistic people. Kabru is so good at talking but sucks at being honest with his words and actually communicate his intentions while Laios is the complete opposite, being so so bad with words and interpretation but the most honest a man could be.

Just them really, they live rent free in my mind

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Saw this on Pinterest moment ago I don’t make the rules

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The chapter where we see Laios and Marcille’s first meeting just being full of Falin being nervous and happy to introduce her girlfriend to her brother really got to me look at ‘em go.

Also Marcille being so precise about how long it’s been despite her being a long lived race, which is often depicted as mixing up years and not realizing how much time has passed compared to other shorter lived races is just-

Not to mention Laios’s plan being FALIN saving Marcille in a heroic knight saving his damsel kinda way and not himself… dude I love them (bonus point for Laios totally bragging to his lil sis cause that’s just what big brothers do)

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While reading chapter 43 of dunmeshi this made me smile silly.

I got so used to Senshi always rejecting Marcille’s, or any to that matter, magic that now seeing him naturally coming to her and asking for it feels so so sweet. He completely accepted that magic can be very useful and help you overcome situations that would take you so much longer, or could even be not possible at all, if you didn’t have it. I love these two’s friendship sm.

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I’ve been re reading Age 15’s light novel since yesterday and theres something I noticed all throughout the book.

On many occasions the narrator insists on the fact that Dazai is a child, making allusions to how childlike, youthful or innocent he sounds or look. I think it’s actually such a great idea from Asagiri to write this way as a reminder that in this book yes Dazai is still a mere kid.

Dazai is smart, scarily so, especially for his age at that time in the story, but we need to always remember he’s still learning about the world, he’s still developing his worldview and doesn’t have it all figured out at all. There’s many things he doesn’t understand yet, oh so many lessons to learn.

This scene doesn’t even need to be introduced anymore, it has to be one of his most popular. But it’s still so so terribly important for his character. He’s talking about life and death with a « youthful innocence » that can be translated as stupidity. Adult Dazai would surely say that he was stupid to once think and say that so confidently, especially so young.

He was young, he hadn’t yet understood what life and death are all about, he hadn’t went through the experiences and met the people that would open his eyes and allow him to have an actual thought about it.

It was obvious to him that life had no meaning, but it’s a very immature way of thinking, very « innocent » like Asagiri cleverly said. We’re talking about the eyes of a child, not a grown adult that had his fair share of experiences and witnessed a shit tone of things. The reminder is important.

There’s many more exemples all throughout the book but this one in particular made me reflect.

Dazai was only 15 in this book, and Asagiri smartly makes sure you don’t forget it all throughout the story.

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In my mind Feng Xin is really the kinda guy that would do little acts of love all throughout the day, like a good gentleman. He’d hold the door, hold Mu Qing by the small of his back to guide him when there’s a lot of people or straight up take his hand, put MQ’s hands in his own pocket to keep them warm (I love the MQ always cold and FX always hot HC) but like he does it all with a straight face, he doesn’t realize how actually romantic he’s being.

And I can just see Mu Qing build up inside because of all those sweet acts of love and care and start getting more flustered the more Feng Xin does them and at some point the oblivious idiot that FX is will realize that there’s something wrong with MQ. He’ll just be confused as fuck as of why MQ is blushing and everything WHILE having his hand resting on his hip to keep him close while looking at cute things and telling him « they look like us ».

Mu Qing would just be a fucking mess internally while Feng Xin is eternally at peace because he doesn’t realize what he does, it just comes absolutely naturally to him.

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Now that I finished MDZS I wanna talk about a scene real quick that I think a lot might kinda forget because of its placement in the story.

Im referring to when Lan Zhan inflicted on himself a brand on the chest with the Wen Clan’s iron branding. The brand is mentioned for the first time at the very beginning of the story in the first volume when they came back to Gusu from mount Dafan.

But it’s only explained in the last volume and actually last chapter of the series (not including the extras). What I meant while evoking the « placement » is that the explanation happens during a smut scene. While I have nothing against smut and enjoyed this one thoroughly I think it kind of diminishes the impact of what Lan Zhan actually did to his own body.

Giving such an important lore bit during a hot scene makes it that the reader isn’t in the right state of mind to actually really comprehend so let’s put all this back into context.

At that moment of his life Lan Zhan suffered heavy injuries due to the 33 disciple whips he received on his back, he was also greatly shaken by all that was happening regarding Wei Ying. While he was recovering his worse fear actually happened, Wei Ying’s powers backfired on him and did end up killing him. He must have felt the greatest dread he’s ever faced and a regret he would never quite forget, the regret of letting Wei Ying alone in order to get his punishment instead of protecting him and staying with him till the end, no matter if he died or not.

This all resulted into Lan Zhan dragging his heavily injured body to Burial Mounds in search of his body, only to find nothing, not a single trace of the one he loved so dearly he sacrificed so much for already. All he found was a kid that he brought back with him.

But then, the branding iron. Lan Zhan, and I really insist on LAN ZHAN out of all men, drank his sorrow away. It’s totally against his Clan’s rules that he respects more than anyone, he even fought against Wei Ying because of this same very rule but he took the bottle seemingly without much hesitation.

We all know by that time of the story that Lan Zhan under the influence of alcohol is a hell of a ride, he does anything and everything that goes through his mind, no matter the consequences. What was on his mind ? Finding Wei Ying’s flute, so he went searching where the Lan Clan hides their treasures, he of course unfortunately did not find it, it being in Jiang Cheng’s possession.

But it just happened that Lan Zhan, with his judgment clouded by alcohol, spotted the branding iron of the Wen Clan, the same very one that branded Wei Ying’s torso a few years prior. He took it and used it on himself. Does anyone realize just how horrible that is ?

He took a BRANDING IRON from a clan that repressed everyone and thought themselves gods and MUTILATED his body even further, just in the hopes to get a bit closer to Wei Ying by any given mean. Just imagine the pain that must have taken onto him, but he did it and didn’t even seem to regret afterwards.

His body was pure as jade, smooth as glass and yet, on two occasions he did not take any consequences in consideration and did things that would mark his beautiful and precious body forever, not even knowing if Wei Ying would ever come back.

If he couldn’t have Wei Ying’s body he would mark his own flesh with the same injury that one decorated his own. This scene is actually fucking insane, I feel like I need to repeat over and over cause damn ! Lan Zhan DRANK before MUTILATING himself with a branding iron from a clan that didn’t respect him nor his own clan just to feel something, just to prove his love further cause it had nowhere to go, because his suffering was stuck in his heart.

I can’t imagine how many times he looked at his reflection, looking at the brand mark on his chest. It makes me feel absolutely dreadful.

So as I said earlier smut is really cool but this scene, I personally think, could have been put in a context that actually showed how grave what Lan Zhan did was.

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I’ll never shut up about how much I respect MXDX as a writer, she’s just THAT amazing and writes beautifully. She’s so good at writing different kind of character developments depending on the age and it’s particularly flagrant in MDZS.

Im just so found of how in the present of the story all the adults, the ones that were old enough during the whole Wei Wuxian ascension, Burial Mounds etc etc, have such deep rooted opinions. They lived through what WWX did and will never forget, they’ll teach the younger generations how dangerous and bad him and his cultivation were and that if he ever came back around the world needs to reunite to beat him again.

But ! Some juniors (and I’m mainly talking about Sizhui, Jingyi and Jin Ling since they’re the main ones) have been in direct contact with Wei Wuxian for a fairly good amount of time. They didn’t know it was him, either not suspecting it could be him at all or just not believing it could be WWX in Mo Xuanyu’s body.

They’re still so very young, just about 15, and they are still capable to build their own opinions and views on things. Despite their educations young people tend to trust what they see since they don’t have experience, what they’re seeing right now is what will be considered and experience and proof when they grow up. As for the adults they only believe what they saw in the past, what was their own experiences when they were young themselves.

Sizhui never doubted Wei Wuxian. When they all got kidnapped and WWX, Lan Zhan and Wen Ning came to save them he knew deep in his heart that Wei Wuxian would have never done it. He saw with his own eyes how he took care of them, how he saved them time and time again, how he put himself in danger for them. He’s still young and not yet entirely influenced by the elders, he still has a mind of his own and now that he witnessed the good, caring and mischievous side of WWX he has his own strong opinion (seeing Lan Zhan trust him so utterly must have helped a lot too).

Jin Ling is in a very dire position compared to the Lan Juniors. His parents are dead because of Wei Wuxian and his uncle hates him more than anyone. He grew up seeing the hatred that Jiang Cheng has for WWX, he was educated to brandish his sword to him if he ever came across him. But just like Sizhui and Jingyi he saw Wei Wuxian with his own two eyes, he saw him tease him and take care of him, he witnessed how despite what terrible thing he did in the past he still has a good heart deep within him and that guilt and grief are still driving him.

He is torn between what he was taught to believe, what his family taught him about someone that he should consider as the devil himself and what his heart itself learned and believes, that in the end he is the one that saved him and took care of him when his own uncle would have threatened to beat the shit out of him.

Wei Wuxian is a good mentor, as mischievous as he can be he also knows how to teach (surprisingly). He makes experiences into lessons in a very endearing way for the juniors, he teaches them through life itself and not through oh so boring lessons.

The juniors, no matter how much they mock him and insult him, appreciate him. He’s a good person, he’s social and nice to have around, he makes everything more bearable for everyone. They were able through their own experiences with him to build their own judgment. Either it will align with their mentor/family or it will not, but no matter what they’ll never fully hate Wei Wuxian the way the elders do.

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Alrighty so I finished the first volume of Grandmaster of demonic cultivation and I wanna talk about one of my favorite moments of this damn book.

For context Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan are in a tavern to get some informations, Wei Wuxian being the lil social butterfly that he is will befriend the waiter.

During the conversation the waiter in question will ask about what the two do in life, so it’s brought up that they’re kind of obviously cultivators.

And then the man says « You two must be some kinda prominent cultivators who can fly around riding clouds and whatnot, right ? Particularly the one beside you (Lan Zhan), sir. Usually, I never see anyone so… so… » and he doesn’t finish his sentence.

We all know what he wanted to say, it’s very heavily said how breathtaking Lan Zhan is, but STILL. Wei Wuxian’s answer just make me giggle and kick my feet like an high schooler.

« Wei Wuxian grinned. "So beautiful." »

I have so many things to say about this. Of course he knew what he meant without batting an eye, anyone would have known. But the fact that he grinned with full confidence and knowledge before saying it shamelessly.

What I love the most about this is that he didn’t say it as a question but an affirmation. He isn’t asking the waiter if what he meant was that he find him "so beautiful", he has absolutely no doubt that this was his thought and simply voiced it, obviously agreeing deeply with him.

I just have something for people and characters that don’t have a problem admitting one’s beauty and potential, I find it so attractive that they have no problem acknowledging even in front of the person how attractive they find them, no matter if they are attracted on a personal level or not.

If I was Lan Zhan at this very moment I would have melted in my sit and never recovered.

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I don’t understand how Seraph of the End isn’t more popular like I for real don’t. Especially when it has a character that is SOOOO similar to our king Gojo.

Y’all don’t realize how similar Gojo and Glenn are, apart from the fact they literally share the same VA. Their personalities are similar, their temperament and approach to things too. The only thing I can think of is that Glenn is more morally grey than Gojo ever will.

They have the same path in life, both of them went through the same shit.

(Pretty much spoiler free)

When Gojo was born it was like God descended upon mortals, his clan as well as himself are placed on a special sit in the sorcerer world, he grew up so lonely and isolated. On the other hand Glenn is the opposite but the result is basically the same. He grew up in a clan that was always considered as inferior to others, at the very end of the rope, so he was always treated poorly and isolated.

They grew up as rather gloomy kids, which can be understood, and they both had crazy potential to become the lead of their own community, so the sorcerer world and humanity for each of them. But things changed when they entered high school.

Both of them got put into a new environment, with new people and new mentalities because the people around them weren’t sick adults that only judge by title but young people like the two of them that can still change their minds and be judgment free.

They will meet these new people and create bounds with them, slowly going from isolated kids to part of a group that could face hell together. These new friends they’ll make will be like a second family, they’ll find themselves developing and growing stronger in their company, and they’ll understand that this is what they always needed in the end.

But you know life is a bitch and things won’t go right, some will betray, some will die, they will face grief and moral dilemmas that will hurt them badly, traumatizing them even.

But life goes on after all and it will end up settling down, some time will go by (for Gojo just a matter of days/weeks and Glenn years) and they’ll take in a new student that is totally foreign to the world they’re taken in. From that they will treat them like younger brothers and educate them, instilling them everything they learned to be able to face the world.

Gojo like Glenn know the potential the two (Megumi and Yu) have and how much they’re gonna absolutely rock the world and they both prepare them to be able to face this. And the two of them will push their students to make friends and create a link, just like they did before.

And if you compare the beginning of both anime with the end of both first seasons Megumi like Yu opened up a whole lot thanks to their friends, they’re much more fulfilled and determined than they could ever have been without their mentor’s help to create bounds.

But unfortunately life is really just terrible to them and they’ll have to put their own students through trials they wanted to protect them from, but fate is just that much greater than us.

I think I’ll stop over sharing here but please please please JJK fans, give a chance to Seraph it’s so worth it and I’m having a blast analyzing the characters, there’s so much to say about them. (And I’m not even mentioning how these two are literally lady killers UGH)

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I just wanna talk about how they decided to design Fu Yao and Nan Feng in the anime based off Mu Qing and Feng Xin for a bit.

When I started the anime and then read the books before restarting the anime yet again I got quite confused for some time as of who is who. In my mind Fu Yao was Feng Xin and Nan Feng was Mu Qing.

When you’re not very familiar with their personalities and overall physical particularities the anime is quite confusing.

I don’t know why they decided to give Fu Yao FX’s hair color and Nan Feng MQ’s one. This created so much confusion in me whenever I watched the anime and even when I read the first book for the first time.

But when you take a closer look you realize how much the deputy generals look like their heavenly official. First their bangs are the exact same, if not a bit longer, and they also truly have the same eyes, FY has sharp and very pretty eyes when NF has thicker brows and more charisma in them.

To take Xie Lian’s words in the first book during their first meeting he says « The one on the left side was taller, with deep brows and handsome features, and his eyes carried a sort of unbridled wildness. » this obviously talks about Nan Feng so indirectly Feng Xin.

He then says « The one on the right was extremely fair, elegant, and poised. His expression was a bit overly distant and cold, making him look as if he was extremely displeased. » and this screams Fu Yao so Mu Qing.

At first it’s rather confusing in the anime to be fair but when you get to know them and their temperament as well as get used to their features it becomes so obvious, and once again I’m wondering HOW THE FUCK did Xie Lian not find them out right away. They’re perfect copies of their true self, some details put aside they really are just a slightly different version, like they’re cousins or even brothers to themselves.

Also to talk about he manwha version, they’re total look alike. They just look fairly younger and a bit wilder/more reckless, they look like if they had a kid and he turned out to look so much like them.

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I just find it so funny how Feng Xin and Mu Qing chose their name as deputy generals, the difference between the two is just so self explanatory.

Feng Xin’s title is Nan Yang. He really didn’t go far to find the name Nan Feng it’s so damn obvious, taking the first part of both names. I don’t know how Xie Lian didn’t find out RIGHT AWAY on top of him (like Mu Qing) not concealing his personality and quirks (like swearing when mad).

But then we got Mu Qing with his title being Xuan Zheng. I don’t know how he came up with Fu Yao but man he did a great job at concealing his identity. His personality and habits (like rolling his eyes) are really obvious but his name don’t give him right away at all.

It’s just so fun to see how it represents them so well, how they can come up with this kind of things fast, you can tell who had the braincell they share at this moment.

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I think this might be one of my favorite thing in Hualian’s dynamic.

I just live for the way Xie Lian accepts Hua Cheng, and by that I don’t mean like his love and affection or whatever, I mean his person, temper and objectives.

Xie Lian knows that Hua would help him in a heartbeat even if he didn’t ask but wouldn’t help anyone else out of kindness or worry. He doesn’t care about anyone but Xie Lian.

And Xie Lian isn’t like, bragging about it or showing to everyone how a Ghost King, a damn Supreme is always ready to help him without second thought. All he does is accept the help and he NEVER asks more than just his help.

If Hua doesn’t feel like helping anyone else ? It’s fine. If Hua wants to mock someone and be stingy about them ? Then so be it. Xie Lian absolutely do not intend to make him change his ways.

I’ve seen toooo many times characters trying to change another because their morality doesn’t align, the protagonist trying to change the antagonist’s ways because they find it bad. Never had Xie Lian even just so much as thought about it, it’s just not a possibility for him.

He will either accept Hua Cheng the way he is, acts and talks or nothing. He is mature and wise enough to know that at the end of the day he isn’t anyone to force him to change (despite being the love of his life but yk).

Hua Cheng has his own life, his own objectives and his own way to do things, never has Xie Lian judged him or resented him simply because he knows they’re two different people and no matter their relationship nothing can be changed about that.

The better exemple is when Hua Cheng’s affiliation to Black Water is revealed and you learn that for a long time at that moment of the story Hua has been hiding a lot from Xie Lian. He absolutely did not resent Hua Cheng even if he just sent his friends right to danger. Hua has his own limits and boundaries, his own goals and relationships and he respects them without even thinking twice about it.

Rather than complain because Hua Cheng hid him all this he would rather see how much Hua protected him and how he can himself save his friends, they often go one against the other because sometimes their objectives don’t align but they’re both mature enough to understand that they can’t control one another and that they have their own principles.

Just this. Hualian owns my heart, soul and body. My life isn’t mine anymore it’s theirs I love em sm I could die on the spot.

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I know I tend to go overboard when I see someone misinterpreting Dazai but ugh yeah.

Just saw someone random on Pinterest comment under a Dazai scan saying that he doesn’t deserve prison.

This person means well like yeah ik no one likes to know he’s in prison and all but I’m sure even himself was fucking glad to be. He committed SOOOOO many crimes i won’t even start to enumerate them but he never got caught for it, may it be because he was in the mafia so the government couldn’t really touch him or because he straight up erased his criminal record.

He never paid for his crimes, and at some point it would have been inevitable for them to run back to him and kick his butt. He must have been glad knowing that he will finally, after so many years of crime, pay even just the slightest bit it.

He was smart enough to never get caught until the Hunting Dogs came into the party but I’m very serious about this, he DESERVES prison, if not worse than that.

The reasons why he committed these crimes, may it be by his own means and desires or because it was forced onto him at the beginning or whatever he stays a wanted criminal, no matter the why for what he did he still did them.

He killed, he manipulated, he deceived, he abused and tortured, i don’t wanna see anyone saying he doesn’t deserve prison.

And yes yes I know he’s getting better, he’s changing his ways and becoming a better person I’m really the happiest about it but if he really wanna be better then he will inevitably fall in the case prison before anything else.

Anyway is all don’t mind me, just over sharing after seeing someone say something I didn’t like about Dazai <3