batrick-patemann

[batrick-patemann]

You’re so lovely

COMFOR FIC

pairing: Donny Donowitz x gn!reader (platonic? sure. Romantic? sure)

wc: 534 (short and sweet)

warnings: s3lf h4rm (big nono) bl00d, bandages, cursing

To fit the vibe, bestest friends

“Ay, Cap’. Ya seen Y/N lately?” Donowitz had stepped up to Aldo, having not seen his best friend, Y/N, in a bit after the mission.

“Sorry Donny, but ‘fraid not. They’ve been gone for quite a while.”

“Well, the fuck happened to em??”

“ ‘s it look like I’d fuckin’ know?” Aldo threw his hands up angrily. He too was worried. It’s been a few hours since the last mission.

Donny was growing worried, after all, they were his best friend at the moment. He was sort of like a Golden Retriever; energetic, playful, loved baseballs, and goddamn loyal. To say he was even remotely nervous would be a major understatement. He decided to try and find you, being the loyal puppy he was.

After a few hours more, just as Donowitz was about to give up, he heard a cry out. 

“L/N?” He shouted out, standing like one o’clock half struck. He waited for their response.

“Donny?”

His ‘primal’ instincts kicked in as he began in a quick sprint to find them. Gripping his baseball bat, he eventually found Y/N.

“Y/N! Holy fucking shit- I was- I was scared you were dead or somethin’!” He hugged them so tightly, that they were pretty sure that they heard a crack in their spine.

------------------Y/N’s POV----------------------------------------------------------

I didn’t know what to do. He was gripping me so tightly, but, not in an aggressive way. I pulled down my sleeves to try and hide the cuts. Carefully, I snaked my arms around Donny weakly. I closed my eyes and took in his scent, alcohol and old spice.. Comforting. Suddenly, I realize that he can probably feel some wetness (the blood) against his back, and I immediately know that I’m done for.

“Y/N..?” The panic sets in.

“..Yeah, Donny?” Keep your cool, L/N.

“Why are you bleeding?-” holy shit. holy shit. Taking a deep breath, I try and calm yourself.

“Uh- I tripped and got scratched up by some bushes and trees and such.”

“This’s a clearing. There’s only flowers. No roses either.”

He grabs my arms, trying not to harm me, but the stinging pain still surging through my nervous system. I wince. Carefully, he pulls up my sleeves. He goes silent.

------------------ 3rd Person POV---------------------------------------------------

“..Why, N/N?..” They try and blink away the tears as Donny sheds a tear or two.

Carefully, Donowitz picks them up, holding their lower half (non-sexually) and gripping their back with the other hand. He walks back to the “base” and sets them down at the bed, grabbing some bandages.

“Now, I dunno how the fuck this bullshit works, but I’ve seen Cap’n use em before, so they should work.” He rips some gauze/bandages (idfk) with his teeth and gently wraps their arms with it. Y/N winces, and so does Donny. He hates seeing them in pain.

After wrapping their arms in bandages and holding them closely, Donny walks out with Y/N next to him, gripping his sleeve closely.

“PFC L/N! Yer back! What happened?” Aldo shouts out towards Y/N.

Y/N opens their mouth to answer, but Donny cuts them off.

“They were lost in a clearing, I got them back safe!” He winks at Y/N, keeping their secret safe.

[batrick-patemann]

Lucifer but 2020 lmfao

[batrick-patemann]

My my..

 POV: you just wanted to hang with your bestie, but he ended up giving you a lil’ surprise and ends up fucking the shit out of you

music to go with this: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/08ibxFpYfVg4EWS401Zvzm

warnings: Not vanilla at all, nope. Fingering, oral (both) bit of overstimulation, cockwarming masturbation (I’M SORRY)

wc: 1,396 words WOOT

pairings: Lucifer Morningstar (Tom Ellis) x f!reader sMUt

why did i do this

You sat on the counter, sipping on a random soft drink you found on Lucifer’s counter. Tasted pretty good for a drink at Lucifer’s. You swung your legs back and forth, back and forth. God, to say you were bored was a mere understatement. You sighed in relief as you saw the devil himself walk in.

Wait what the fuck

He’s

nude.

“Lucifer!- What the fuck?!” You covered your eyes like a child watching a horror movie; turning away, you almost tripped, him having to grab your waist and making sure you wouldn’t fall. You uncovered your eyes for a moment, only to see his bare chest very close to your face.

“Are you alright, y/n? You frightened me quite a bit, with that little..” He makes a small circular hand gesture as if trying to find the right words. “..mishap.” He smiles, the smile being almost sinister..

“I’m- I’m fine. Just- what are you doing?” You covered your eyes and tried to get out of his grasp, squirming and writhing. You didn’t realize, (partially due to the fact that you were covering your eyes) that he enjoyed watching you squirm under his grasp.

“I’m just a bit hot, ‘s all.. Why, pray tell, are you covering your eyes, dove?”

“Why the fuck do you think? You’re fully nude, and you caught me off guard!” He smiles, even if you can’t see it.

“I quite like when you’re flustered. It’s adorable.” He was working his charms on you. Of course he was. He didn’t even have to, you were already crushing hard on the supposed devil without him even having to try. When you had met him, one glance and you were trapped in a never-ending trance, you couldn’t even get out of his beautiful eyes.

“I’m not fucking flustered, just put on some frickin’ clothes. My god!” You huff, trying to squirm out of his grasp after removing your hands from your eyes. You turned away from him, back against his chest. You try and reach over to the couch where a robe was. You were so close! Just a little closer. You try and lean over, almost an inch or two away from the clothing. Your eyes widen tremendously as you cover your mouth. Your (fully clothed) arse was against his, I’d assume at least partially hard, cock. You were done for.

“My my, dearie. What’s the matter?” Lucifer leans down until his chin could rest on your shoulder blade or shoulder in general. You shiver, he can tell you’re flustered and growing more aroused by the minute. Well, he’s hoping at least. If you weren’t comfortable with this, his whole week would be absolute horseshit. For personal reasons of course.

You had no idea how to respond, it’s as if your usually witty brain had stopped functioning. You’re totally fucked. Literally as well. He presses you against him, closer actually, gripping your hips tightly. Your face flushes, more, might I add, as you lean back, not leaning downwards anymore (obviously). He moves along with you, peppering gentle kisses on the column of your throat, those gentle kisses soon turning sloppy and messy.

Lucifer nibbles gently on your earlobe, whispering seductively into your ear. “What is it you truly desire, mi amor?” You could’ve screamed out right then and there just from the singular name, mi amor. He waited impatiently. “Well, come on. Don’t keep me waiting.” He spoke as if he was waiting for someone to order a meal, he was always bubbly, but he was so horny and seductive whenever with someone he was ‘interested’ in. He decided that he had waited long enough, having been about a minute. Morningstar deftly slides his hand under your trousers, slipping them in the area of the perineum, gliding his finger to and fro, clitoris to the anal orifice, back and forth, going from rubbing to pumping in mere seconds.

The pleasure hits you hard enough for you to lose all ability to stand. Luckily, Lucifer already had a tight grip on you, so you didn’t fall. You covered your mouth as you looked around for something to grip on. You had nothing, so as a sort of, final resort, you gripped onto Lucifer’s free hand, which was holding your waist securely.

“Tell me, now. What is it you truly desire?” He says this in a more demanding manner, as if he wasn’t questioning you, but badgering you to answer.

“uh- uh-” You can’t even bring yourself to answer. You were so fucking close to pure bliss (an orgasm.) He sighs.

“You can’t even speak? How disappointing.” Lucifer removes his hands from your pants, you look at him, upset.

“The fuck dude?” You frown at him.

“Well, you never told me what you desired, so...” He raises his hands up in mock surrender. You sigh, rolling your eyes. You decide to pull out the big guns. Taking off your slacks and undergarments, and basically every article of clothing below the waist, you begin to slip two fingers into your vaginal opening. You moan softly and use your other hand to massage your clitoris. Lucifer looks at you betrayed and huffs.

“You really want this?” 

You nod.

“If you say so..” In a flash, all of your clothes are gone, and you’re in Lucifer’s luscious bed, his hand gripping your wrists above your head and him hovering over you. Without warning and still holding your hands up, he dips down, immediately sucking on your clitoris. You scream out, squirming as you try and close your thighs.

“y’know.. I’ve always wanted to be crushed by your thighs.” He smirk as he goes back to pleasuring you. It was like you were in a cartoon, where the character groans and has those swirly eyes. Jesus, you were flustered and there was nothing to prove otherwise.

Soon, you reached your high, and came all over Lucifer’s face. Oops- You sat up, your hands having been freed.

“Are you alright?”

He laughs.

“I’m amazing. Now, where were we? Ah, yes, I remember.” Lucifer swoops up so he’s hovering over you again, you under him like prey. Slowly, he slides in, letting out a small groan and a curse word. “My gosh, you are so tight-”

You moan as he pulls out, soon slamming back in which causes you to scream out his name.  He continues to obliterate your vagina (lovingly) as small grunts and groans slip from Lucifer’s mouth and into yours as he kisses you passionately.

Soon growing close to yet another orgasm, you moan loudly into Lucifer’s mouth as he begins to rub quick circles around your clitoris. After you cum, he pulls out.

“Hurry, I don’t want to cum inside you, that’s boring and over-done.” He sits on his knees, beckoning you forwards. You awkwardly crawl over and sit in front of him.

“Well come on now, don’t keep me waiting.”

You nod and soon get the idea of what he wants. Lowering yourself, you gently grip his cock and begin to lick at the tip.

“Come on! No kitty-licking, you dirty birdie!” Lucifer grips your hair. “Hurry, or I’ll have to do it myself.” You nod again and engulf his full length, gagging slightly. He sighs in euphoria, leaning his head back as his grip on you loosens.

Since he was already close before, an orgasm from him wouldn’t take much longer. With a final groan, he released into your mouth. Jesus, this dude came hard and a ton. Not that you were complaining, no no.

You sat up, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.

“How was it?”

“What?-”

“Well, how was the sex?”

“uh- good?”

“just good? How unfortunate. Say, are you up for another round later?”

“Uhm- yeah” He smiles.

“great!”

Lucifer flops back onto the bed, head falling into the cushion-y pillows as he pulls you with him.

“Have you ever tried ‘cockwarming’?”

“Pardon?”

“It’s when-”

“No no, I know what it is, I just didn’t expect you to ask me that” 

“ah, well, would you like to?”

“Sure, it’s nice” He jerks himself off a bit to get the blood going, and soon slips into you again, not moving whatsoever. Closing his eyes, he snuggles up to you, his face in the crook of your neck as you close your eyes and rest your chin on top of his head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BOOM I’m DONE AHAHAHA

hope you guys liked it

i worked hard on it

ahahahah

[batrick-patemann]

fuck yeah

nO I’M NOT OBSESSING YOU ARE

[batrick-patemann]

“what was this like for you?”

I sit quietly in the room,

the shadows of my troubles, they loom

towering over me,

as if I cannot speak of yearning to be free.

I’m forced to explain trauma,

the room suddenly feeling like a sauna.

They adjust their body on their chair,

tightness and intensity is in the air.

“what was this like for you?”

What do I say?

To respond, can I say nay?

I cannot stay silent for many years,

for this is the reason I’m here

To speak of my problems

and be freer

than before.

[batrick-patemann]

ily

thanks

i don’t know what i’m doing

[batrick-patemann]

angel’s nest

go ahead,

lie in bed

in your comfy little nest, all of your problems had left.

I turn over, having just woke up.

seeing you smile, makes a smile of my own erupt.

I see your mouth move,

but all I hear is preuve.

Proof that I love you, but can’t stay forever.

I put on my trousers and whatever matches the weather,

step out of the room, looking back at you.

Gosh, I feel my time to leave is due.

I’ve been aiming for heaven,

but I never realized, that I should’ve learned my lesson,

that my heaven, was in my angel’s nest.

fold your wings, a stóirín

calm your nerves and stay in

my beautiful, beautiful little angel

[batrick-patemann]

Here we go again

Why, here I am

drying the blood from my arm, looking like jam.

I dry my tears as well,

around my eyes they swell,

When will I ever leave this hell?

my life, it crumbles,

under my breath, I mumble.

“Here we go again.”

my friends, argue

when will the arguments subdue?

the sharp tip, against my frail, pale skin.

the pain eases into happiness as it sinks in.

freedom comes in, like a shining light.

“here we go again.”

[batrick-patemann]

Alone again

A/N: jsut a lil thing to help me cope with somethin that happened today

pairing: Loki x Reader (platonic)

408 words, a bit short

angst ANGST

Y/N sobs, curled into a tight ball under their blankets, thinking about the things their (ex) partner had said about them. The thoughts race through their head.

 “I got bored of them.”  “It was easier to choose other people”  Over and over, they filled their brain, causing them to tremble under the covers. Soon, Y/N hears a gentle knock on their door.

 “...Yes?...”  “Y/N? It’s me, Loki. Are you alright?”

Their breath gets stuck in their choked up throat. What if he sees them like this and perceives them as weak? They start to panic and soon forget to respond. Loki grows worried.

“Y/N I’m coming in, if that’s alright with you.” He opens the door, stepping in, only to see them swaddled in blankets. “What happened?” He rushes to their side and scans them for any harm. He soon finds nothing and realizes that they’re emotionally hurt, not mentally. He tries to understand. “What’s wrong Y/N?..” They shake their head, not able to form words. “Can I do something really quick?” They nod. Loki gently touches their forehead, casting a small spell to see what’s going on in your mind, only to frown and furrow his eyebrows. “So you’re crying over someone who can’t see your worth? Pardon me, but that’s a bit stupid.” Y/N sits up and stares at Loki, amazed from how quickly he can say that.

“It’s not that easy, Lo..” They furrow their brows and wipe their eyes with their sleeve. “You can’t just get over them with a snap of your fingers. It takes time. And- and as soon as I got over them, I get crushed by the hard truth from them. That shit hurts..” Loki gets under the covers with you, cuddling up close with you to comfort you, close to tears.

“Yes, but I will help you no matter what happens Y/N. I promise. If something happened to you, I’d surrender myself to Midgard, forever a prisoner of my own guilt and shame.” He smiles weakly, blinking away tears. Gosh, Y/N makes him feel so weak and vulnerable, but in a sweet way, almost like honey.

“Really?..” Y/N smiles softly, their tears soon coming to a gentle halt as they  closed their glistening eyes, snuggling their face into Loki’s chest.

“Really, dear. I promise.” Loki sheds a single tear, closing his eyes and laying his head above Y/N’s as they both drift into a quiet slumber in the bedroom.

[batrick-patemann]

lets admire this

[batrick-patemann]

Everyone Needs A Helpin‘ Hand

A/N: Fsfud part two coming soon, I’m too lazy

billy knapp (the ballad of buster scruggs) x fem!reader

this is my first fanfic so go easy on me lmfao

summary: Y/N is uncomfortable with the number of men flirting with her, so, by natural instinct, she goes to ask her trusted friend Billy Knapp for help on that. Sooner or later, they put on a show that shocks everyone there.

wordcount: 1.3k words

    “Whoooey! You married yet?" A burly man yells from a wagon, watching Y/N.

    "No sir. And I'm not looking either, thank you." Y/N calls back, unnerved by the number of men catcalling her. She's fed up, having been followed by countless men in a singular day, and decides to do something about it. She meekly walks over to a trusted friend of hers, Mister Knapp, and he turns around.

     "Mister Knapp?"     

     "Yes, Y/N?"

    "I wanted to ask for your advice since you were kind enough to give me a place to stay in Oregon.." Y/N looks at her shoes awkwardly, being a bit embarrassed whenever going to visit Mister Knapp.

     "Well, Miss Y/N, it really depends, what's the matter?" Knapp scratches his head after removing his hat for a moment, soon putting it back.

     Y/N whispers into Mister. Knapp's ear, standing on the tip of her toes, careful to let not a single soul hear, not even ol' Arthur.

     Billy Knapp's eyebrows knitted in anger, he glances at the people walking on the trail, seeing some of them glance at Y/N. He takes a deep breath, wanting to be calm around her.

     "So, you've devised a plan outta nowhere, just for us?" Billy questions, blushing a bit as he realized that she could've chosen anyone, but decided to go with him. Y/N nods, looking around, awkwardly might I add. "But- why me?" He shakes his head, trying to figure it out.

     "Well, you're the only one here that I trust, that, erm.. Is around my age. It made sense in my head- I'm uhm- I'm sorry for bothering you Mister Knapp, I'll go-"    

      Y/N pauses in her tracks, seeing as Billy had grabbed her shoulder gently. He looks directly into her eyes, smiling as if he was trying to comfort her, which he kinda was.    

 "I'll do it. I'm always here if ya need a helpin' hand, ma'am."

time skip

     Y/N holds her breath as she waits for Knapp's entrance as she hears more men holler at her. She sighs, having seen him walk over. Knapp smiles at her, glancing at the men over yonder.

     "How've ya been doll?" Mister Knapp smiles, seemingly acting.

     "I've-I've been good, thank you, William." She smiles awkwardly, obviously not being a good actress. Knapp immediately knows how to hide her acting without ruining the plan.

     Billy walks closer to Y/N, staring at her lips to make the scene more realistic. Y/N, a bit confused and nervous, stands completely still. She mumbles to Knapp.

      "Mister Knapp?"   

      "Shh, Miss Y/N. I know what I'm doin' ." He puts his hands on her waist as his hot breath fans against her lips. She shudders and blushes immensely, not on purpose either. The men nearby grow confused and some even start to walk away. "See what I mean? People are walkin' away" He smiles to indicate how this is a good thing (obviously).

     "Thank you, Mister Knapp, I don't know how I can ever repay you for this act of kindness.." Y/N mumbles, starting to grow sad because of that.

     "Oh, don't worry about that ma'am, I'm just here to help. Everyone needs a helping hand." He glances around quickly to see if anyone is there. He spots one man, watching out of pure confusion, and quickly kisses her. Y/N's face goes as red as the inside of a beetroot, as she loses the ability to speak. Billy smiles, patting her back, and leaving.    

      Later, Miss Y/N L/N goes to thank Knapp, again, for helping her and walks over to see him. She spots him and walks down, tapping his shoulder. She gasps as what she sees shocks her, sending shivers down her spine.