batsandbirdbrains

[batsandbirdbrains]

Following up on this, I want the reason the JL members find out who Batman is behind the cowl being because a bunch of them read shitty tabloids or watch entertainment news shows or just see the story online.

And the news is that Bruce Wayne has been coaching adopted son Dick Grayson’s little league team. And that he’s been thrown out of no less than five games by the end of the season because of him arguing with the umpires.

There are several clips of him yelling in a cowering umpires face and then a clip of a previous play that had a TERRIBLE call by said umpire. Like calling a fourth ball when on a pitch that was dead center of the strike zone. Then goes back to Bruce Wayne yelling at the umpire, and the umpire making the over dramatic gesture to throw him out of the game.

There’s clips of Dick Grayson holding his head in his hands looking so embarrassed, but then also clips of him giggling like crazy a moment later.

There’s pictures of Bruce Wayne pouting in his car, watching the game from the parking lot.

And one clip in particular is him repeating the same argument that the JL overheard when they were spying on Batman.

And they’re all so flabbergasted. Barry had brought it all up at a meeting for the founding members Batman insisted he couldn’t attend, which worked out quite well for Barry.

“Holy shit, is Bruce Wayne possessed by Batman?”

Barry slaps Hal on the shoulder.

“Idiot,” he snorts. “He’s not possessed.”

They’re all so lucky Bruce had been planning on telling the core members his identity soon anyway. But he’s still passed when he finds out how exactly they found out his secret identity. He’s not pleased about the spying.

Dick thinks it’s hilarious. Then demands to meet the Justice League, specifically Superman.

Silly little sort of crack idea for the Justice League who still don’t know who Batman is behind the mask. Like they know nothing about him. A lot of them think he’s a Creature of some sort. They certainly don’t know anything about Dick/Robin, either. But he keeps leaving meetings early or abruptly or just straight up not showing up because, “I have more important obligations.”

So they spy on him. It’s the obvious solution. Because what if he’s really a villain of some sort? Gotham is crazy, they wouldn’t put it past someone from Gotham to pretend to be a hero for some crazy, convoluted plan.

And what they find shocks all of them. Because maybe they snuck a bug on Batman, and it only picks up audio. Batman had just left a meeting early. Again. With no real explanation as to why.

First, they hear mostly static. The sound of since rustling as he moves. Then actual bat noises start echoing, and Barry is convinced that Batman just turned into a bunch of bats.

But then they hear a a tiny little voice shouting, “B! We’re gonna be late!” followed by the sound of something colliding with Batman.

And then Batman chuckles. It scares the crap out of all of them. They didn’t think Batman could have emotions outside of anger and annoyance.

“I know, chum, I’m sorry.”

“You said your dumb meetings were only supposed to be two hours!”

“They are,” Batman huffs. “Flash likes to chitchat.”

Barry scoffs. What’s wrong with chit chatting!

“We’re gonna be late!” the child’s voice whines. “I don’t wanna get in trouble!”

“Alright, alright,” Batman laughs. “We’re leaving now, let’s go. Do you have all your gear together?”

“It’s already in the car!” the child huffs. “Let’s go!”

The noise that follows is muffled, and they can tell that Batman has changed out of his gear and they’re now in a car, driving in the road. The radio is playing, and it’s causing some static in the feed.

“And you promise you won’t yell this time?” the boy’s voice whines.

“So long as they don’t make any shit calls this time,” Batman scoffs.

“Language, sir,” another voice says, and they hear the child giggling.

Hal asks the others if Batman has a henchman. They all shush him so they can keep listening.

The noise that follows soon after is full of other people talking, shouting, and loudspeaker announcements. Everything is muffled together, it’s hard to make out what exactly is being said. But one thing becomes very clear.

Batman is coaching a little league game.

And he’s getting very heated about it.

“YOU CALL THAT A STRIKE?”

“HE WAS SAFE! THAT WASN’T AN OUT! NO, NO, THIS INNING IS NOT OVER.”

“OH COME ON, HE TAGGED HIM! THAT KID’S OUT!”

“GET YOUR FUCKIN’ EYES CHECKED, BLUE!”

They hear Batman get ejected. From a little league game. They hear grumbling to himself as he watches from the car in the parking lot.

Then they hear the same little boy whining and complaining when the door opens again an hour later and he slumps into the car.

“You promised you wouldn’t yell!”

“I wouldn’t have had to yell if the umpires opened their damn eyes!”

“Language like that is what got you thrown out of the game, sir. Again.”

“It’s only happened twice!”

“It’s only the fifth game of the season!” the little boy whines. “And you promised me ice cream if we won.”

“Did you win?”

“Duh,” the boy scoffs. “9 to 3!”

“Attaboy,” Batman says, and he sounds so proud.

They stop listening then, because one thing has become very clear. Batman is a dad. And he’s constantly leaving meetings early because of obligations to his kid. And suddenly they all feel like assholes.

A couple months later, they’re all introduced to a little boy called Robin. And they can’t figure out how Batman’s son is so cute and sweet. But they absolutely can tell he’s Batman’s, because he’s also scary as shit.

[batsandbirdbrains]

I have a few other asks I still need to get to and I don’t want anyone to think I’m ignoring them! I’m just having trouble focusing rn and I want to make sure I give my full attention to everything<3

[batsandbirdbrains]

While I freaking adore Titans era!Dick (or YJ if using that universe), I equally adore early years Robin before other younger heroes hit the scene. There's something so precious about tiny Dick Grayson kicking ass and being included in league-level missions.

Kid probably had his own seat at the JL meeting table (obviously next to Bruce and with a booster seat so he could see above the table line) and was treated like a league member even if he was a kid. After a couple of months of him proving himself as a competent hero, the rest of the league would take his opinions and ideas seriously, and he'd be included in votes and everything. In fact, by the time the Titans were formed he had more experience then even some new senior heroes.

It's also funny to think about the league begging Nightwing to join them again once he stops being Robin (if it's good dad Bruce, then it was a mutual albeit bittersweet decision; if it's asshole Bruce then it was him firing Dick). Dick of course declines for whatever reason (depends on the AU). Thus begins years of various main league begging Dick to join them again (they all miss their funny but competent little guy!)

I'm gonna cry because all I can picture is Robin from Super Friends lmao

He's just a little guy, he's just having fun! And they all adore him, because he takes his role so seriously.

Then he founds the Titans, and he's suddenly spending so much less time with them, and they all miss their favorite little guy. He's such a good strategist, and he kicks ass in the field, and he's so friendly! And now he's just gone! It's so sad.

Then he becomes Nightwing, and they try to extend an invitation to him, and he just smiles and says, "No thanks!"

It's a sad day for all the original JL members.

[batsandbirdbrains]

My toxic trait is believing that Dick is Bruce's favorite batkid. That's not to say Bruce doesn't love the rest of the batfam (I mean he literally became unhinged for a while after Jason died, and went to Hell to get Damian back!), but Bruce has an almost unhealthy attachment to Dick and/or the memory of young Dick/Robin.

Bruce will never admit this fact to anyone, not even himself; to him, Robin/Dick was the light he needed at the time where he was losing himself the most to Batman. That's why Dick is the better and healthier version of Bruce, and is still a beacon of light (at least that's what Bruce believes). Now with all that said, it's not necessarily a good thing that Dick is the favorite lol. Between his massive guilt complex, his need to be perfect, and his wanting to help everyone, Dick feels more of the weight of being someone Bruce depends on

don't worry anon, it's my toxic trait, too<3

Dick parallels Bruce the most. I think Dick also foils him the most, in the sense that he doesn't let his parents' deaths and the trauma from it consume him like Bruce did. Dick has plenty of trauma and plenty of faults, but he still manages to be a beacon of hope for the entire fucking DC universe lmao.

Dick is the blueprint, the success story, the light to Bruce's darkness. I don't give a fuck what anyone else says, Dick is the best Robin. He will always be the best Robin. Because there is no Robin without Dick Grayson. The others are all excellent in their own ways, but Dick defines what it means to be Robin. Robin is his. This is another debate tho and I can feel myself getting carried away so I'm gonna stop this train of thought right here lmao.

But yes I fully believe Dick is Bruce's favorite. They've had the most time together. They're so similar to each other, but Bruce has said before that Nightwing doesn't need to be more like Batman, but Batman needs to be more like Nightwing.

And I do think being Bruce's favorite would absolutely put an insane pressure on Dick's shoulders. Because now he has to prove why he's the favorite, he has to be perfect. I'd believe the two of them have an unhealthy attachment with each other, very codependent. Maybe not in a typical way, but still heavily reliant on each other. And then he'd feel guilty for being the favorite because he loves all his siblings and what if he doesn't actually deserve to be the favorite? Guilt trip of the century.

But also like, without Dick, would he even have taken the others in? Damian probably, because he's his biological son, but without proof that he could in fact raise a child, I can't see him taking any of the others in later down the line. I could see him helping them out, but not actually adopting them, not being responsible for them.

Also I just love their relationship, I love them.

[batsandbirdbrains]

piggybacking off a lot of your ideas about yj!robin being both the youngest member, but having the most experience + robin being not known for a long time bc Batman was secretive and Gotham protects their own:

yj!Robin having started going out in costume when he was 8/9 but only meeting the other JL heroes when he was 12, almost 13. Half a year later Roy & Wally & Kal appear on the scene and then the team starts.

And yeah, they know Robin has been around for longer than them, but nobody - Black Canary & co included - realize for how much longer. Robin has been a hero for longer then some JL members!

Cue them fighting smb like Bane, who has been fighting Robin, since he still had his baby teeth, and some comment by either of them letting it slip just how long Robin has already been active.

Are they shocked Robin was able to fight against people like Bane when he was just 8 years old? Are they angry at Batman for taking him along?

(Will Robin accidentally let it slip that he started "working" even earlier than that - as an acrobat with his family, but at least he doesn't say that - somehow making the whole conversation even worse?)

okay but I seriously adore the concept of Bane and other typical Gotham villains being so snarky with Robin in that first season of yj. I'm still mad it seemed like Bane wasn't a Gotham rogue at all, what a wasted opportunity!!! Anyway

Now I'm picturing that first real mission on Santa Prisca, where the team runs into Bane and sorta kinda teams up with him briefly. I want Bane to be so exasperated by Robin, but like he's weirdly fond of him. And he quite obviously takes Robin more seriously than all the others on the team. But then he says something that baffles everyone else.

"You just better not bite me again, you little menace. Three scars from you is more than enough. I can tell exactly which order I got them in based on which ones have gaps from when you were losing your baby teeth!"

And Robin is just cackling, he's smirking at Bane and hopping along.

"Well, I have all my grown up teeth, now! I can give you a bright shiny new one if you want?"

"Keep your pointy little vampire teeth away from me, you little batling."

Robin's laughter is echoing around them, and it gives everyone a chill. But Wally is the one who finally snaps and asks, "What the hell is he talking about?"

"He's a biter, that's what I'm talking about," Bane mutters.

"Hey!" Robin complains, but he's still got a smirk on his face. "I'll have you know I've mostly grown out of that habit!"

"Mostly," Bane scoffs. "Sure. That's not what Killer Croc tells me."

"I would never bite Killer Croc!" Robin says, and he's so affronted. "He wanders around the sewers, that would be disgusting! I could get E.coli!"

Bane is the one cackling now, and he and Robin are bickering back and forth, and everyone else is disoriented by it.

"He told me you bit Penguin last week!"

"Ozzy was being mean!" Robin whines, and the others are watching as he sits on Bane's shoulders. "He wouldn't let me play with his umbrella at all!"

"Waylon said Oz was holding you hostage and pointing the umbrella at your neck and you chomped down on his hand."

"Yeah, it was so mean, he was holding it up to my neck and nearly choking me and telling me he was gonna pluck my feathers and it was no fun at all! He deserved it."

Bane is chuckling, telling Robin, "You haven't grown up at all. Should still be calling you Boy Hostage."

"I resent that nickname!"

"I'm sure you do."

"I hardly ever get held hostage at all anymore! My interactions with Ozzy are the outlier and should not be counted! Besides, I let him capture me half the time. That way we get to play away from the Bat. Ozzy is way more fun when B isn't there to be a party pooper."

"Oh, is that why?"

"Yes, yes it is. And you can tell that to all your other bad guy friends!"

"Oh, I will be."

"Good."

Robin huffs, crosses his arms, then flips off Bane's shoulders to walk ahead of the group. Bane is watching him, amused.

"You have known Robin long, then?" Kaldur asks carefully.

"Oh, since he was a small little bird," Bane says fondly. "He's grown to be quite the opponent. Although, he was always a feisty little thing."

"I mean, he hasn't grown that much since we all met," Wally says, confused.

Ban laughs.

"When did you meet him, last week?" Bane snorts. Then he holds his hand down around his knee and says, "He was this big the first time I fought him, and he bit me so hard it bled and scarred."

"I was not that short!" Robin argues.

"He was perhaps a little taller."

"I was nearly four feet!"

"Nearly."

"Wait, Rob," Wally zooms over to him, "how old were you when you first started?"

"Ah, ah, ah," Robin says, wagging his finger. "Can't tell you. Secret identity and all that."

"He was still in the single digits."

"You're not supposed to tell them!" Robin whines.

"How long ago was this?" Wally asks, his voice strained.

"Few years ago."

"Five," Bane provides, a smug smile on his face. "I remember the exact day I met you, little batling. Would you like me to recite the date?"

Robin grumbles and stomps ahead, ignoring the rest of them after telling them, "Don't we have a mission we should be focusing on?"

Bane is so amused. If anything, most of the Gotham rogues know that if Robin is involved, it's going to be an interesting night.

[batsandbirdbrains]

idk about you but my dad always got a haircut when he would drop us kids off I think I’d be so funny for him to be like I’ll be back in an hour and come back with one centimeter off his hair (it was getting a little curly)

Omg you KNOW Bruce would be super weird about his hair. It needs to be just the right length to pull off the Brucie persona, but it can’t get in the way of the cowl.

I like to think his hair curls just a bit at the ears and brushes the back of his neck. It’s long enough to look thick when he gels it and styles it, but not so long that it feels bulky and annoying under the cowl.

Also I fully believe he’s been going to the same barber his whole life. This barber knows exactly how Bruce likes his hair, cuts it perfect every time, and Bruce sees him every couple months like clockwork. And it’s always on a Friday afternoon, for some reason.

Bruce Wayne has had the same haircut since he was 18 and he likes it that way because then he doesn’t have to think about it.

I like to think one of the first things Bruce and Dick did to like bond or whatever was Bruce taking Dick to the barber with him. Dick got a lollipop. No one had ever cut Dick’s hair other than his mother, and he was upset and didn’t want to do it, but he’d been pushing his hair out of his eyes with an annoyed huff for weeks now, and Bruce could just tell that Dick wanted a haircut but was maybe a little scared of the change.

But the barber was so patient and asked Dick exactly what he wanted, let Dick be as specific as he wanted, and followed his instructions to the letter. Dick’s eyes were a little red and watery and he was sniffling, but he was smiling by the end. The barber had lots of puns and jokes to tell the whole time. Dick was fascinated. And then he got a lollipop? What a great afternoon.

Dick doesn’t always get the same haircut like how Bruce does, but he does continue going to the same barber until the guy retires.

[batsandbirdbrains]

Okay but what about a scenario with the season one yj team, and maybe no one on the team knows who Batman and Robin are behind the mask, not even Wally.

And perhaps the team is getting annoyed that Robin knows all of their identities, but he won’t share his. They don’t care that he tries to explain that it’s not just his identity, it’s Batman’s, so it’s not just him who has to be comfortable with sharing it with them. It doesn’t matter if he explains how paranoid Batman is, how it’s Batman who makes the final call on if Robin can or cannot share his identity. They just blame Robin, calling him a bad teammate, a bad friend.

Kaldur is the only one who doesn’t press him, who assures him that he has no obligation to share his identity with them.

Too bad the rest of the team doesn’t seem to get the memo.

And maybe one weekend, Black Canary has insisted that the team spends the weekend together. It’s a long sleepover, it’s team bonding. It’s so they can actually have a chance to act like kids.

And Robin had been excited. He’d been really looking forward to it, even if Batman did insist that he wear a mask the entire time. It’s more reliable than sunglasses, Batman said. More likely to stay in place. Not easy to remove like the sunglasses are.

Dick had laughed and said that it’s not like anyone would try to take his glasses off, but he complied with Bruce anyway. It did make him feel a little better, knowing the mask would be in place all weekend and he wouldn’t have to worry about slipping up.

But then he fell asleep during a movie. It had been a very long week, what with school and patrol and training leading to some very late nights. He was exhausted, and it was getting late into the night, and the movie was so boring. He fell asleep curled up on the floor between the coffee table and the couch, cocooned in a layer of blankets.

And he woke up to fingers trying to pry his mask off. Training took over, it was pure instinct, because Bruce has drilled into him how important it is to keep his mask on, to not let anyone remove it, even if he’d been kidnapped by a rogue and incapacitated. Anyone touching near his face makes him wake up instantly, and he grabs the hand that was near him and snaps it before backing away.

A pained yelp wakes him up more, reminds him where he is, because it was Wally whose wrist he just broke. It was Wally who was trying to remove his mask.

Dick is breathing heavily and looking around the room, trying to figure out what’s going on. But now he has the others yelling at him, asking him what’s wrong with him, why would he hurt Wally like that, it was just a joke.

“It’s not a joke!” he shouts at them, his voice cracking. “You were gonna take off my mask!”

“Oh come on, boy blunder, it’s not that serious!” Artemis argues.

“Yes, it is!” he gasps. “You can’t just take off my mask! I’ve told you all a million times that I’m not allowed to let you know who I am!”

“It’s not like we’d even recognize you just because we took it off!” M’gann argues.

That’s arguably false, considering Dick Grayson’s face is on the cover of one of the magazines M’gann currently has on the coffee table right that instant.

“That’s not the point!” Dick shouts, but he’s already grabbing his stuff and throwing it all into his bag before he darts to the zeta tubes. He’s hyperventilating and trying very hard not to outright panic when he runs into Kaldur, who looks concerned and confused. He was coming from the direction of the bathrooms, he must not have been in the room when they decided to try and take a peek.

“What’s going on?” Kaldur asks, moving to place a hand on Dick’s shoulder.

Dick flinches away, feeling bad when Kaldur looks sad.

“I’m going home,” Dick tells him, his voice cracking again. “Wally’s wrist is broken.”

“Robin? What happened? Are you alright?” Kaldur tries to ask, but Dick is shaking his head.

“They tried to take off my mask,” Dick whispers, but he’s putting in the code for the Batcave and leaving before Kaldur can say anything else.

Bruce is still hunched in front of the Batcomputer when Dick gets back, and he’s surprised to see him so soon. But he opens his arms when Dick rushes towards him, and he holds him tight and calms him down when he realizes how upset Dick is.

When he finds out that they tried to take off Dick’s mask while he was asleep? He’s livid.

He doesn’t let Robin join the team again for months. Which is fine by Dick, because he doesn’t want to work with them anyway. He misses Kaldur, but Robin and Aqualad find ways to hang out away from Mount Justice, away from the others. Aqualad relays to Robin how poorly the team performs when Robin isn’t there to pick up the slack, how their lack of experience is becoming quite evident when their mission success rate plummets without Robin.

What happens next? Idk. Maybe Dick starts his own team with Donna, Garth, and Roy. Idk.

[batsandbirdbrains]

Well at least u all know I’m a real person writing all this shit bc I’ll have about ten thousand fucking typos in my posts that I don’t find until AFTER I’ve posted them 😤

[batsandbirdbrains]

Loving this unhinged coach/mentor!Batman for the crack AU featuring more kid like Titans you've made up! You and other anon have hilarious ideas :) I'm not as funny but I'm gonna add my own 2 cents:

Bruce was the one to covertly plant the seeds for a young hero team the whole time. He was the one to bring Dick around the league and show him off. This caused the other Leaguers to want their own junior partners like Robin (playing exactly into Bruce's hands). Then he very subtly mentioned to Dick about other heroes his own age. From there Dick did all the work and the Titans were formed. Why did Bruce do this? maybe it was so that Dick could have friends that he could relate to and would be loyal to Dick. Or maybe it was just so that Bruce could prove he is the best mentor figure

Love love love this! Bruce seeing Dick all glum and put out because he has no friends who can know about his extracurricular activities as Robin, and the idea just pops in his head, “Hey, I have superhero friends now. Some of them must have kids hanging around somewhere.” And thus he plants the seed at his next JL meeting about teaching the next generation of heroes or something silly like that. And it works like a charm, because next thing he knows, half the room have preteen heroes trailing after them.

And Robin is so ecstatic, but so nervous. He’s a little shy. And Bruce encourages him to make friends, and wouldn’t be so nice if they could have their own club like the JL, but just for the kids?

Dick thinks it’s a swell idea. And so do all the others.

And thus the Titans are born, and Bruce is sitting in his Batcave while the Titans have their first meeting in their treehouse and he’s got his hands folded and he’s snickering because his plan has all come together so nicely.

Oh, and Alfred brought him a couple of the extra cookies from the batch he made for the kids. What a great day.

[batsandbirdbrains]

The Justice League is definitely jealous of the early years Titans when they find out their meetings include Agent A cookies, state of the art and Batman approved tech, friendship bracelets, and a base/meeting room with bean bags. Hal and Barry try and convince Wally to bring them cookies; when he refuses they try to break in their base/tree house and get wrecked by Robin's booby traps as the Titans watch and laugh

Omg yes.

1. They’re jealous of Batman because all their kids think he’s cooler than them

2. They’re jealous when they find out Alfred regularly provides cookies

3. Batman provides them with WAY more gadgets than he gives the JL members

4. Batman is nice to them

Number four really pisses Hal off. Bruce stares at him, totally deadpan, and tells him, “Because they’re kids, Hal. They’re still learning. You, on the other hand, are a grown man. You should know what you’re doing. I have no sympathy for you.”

Hal is flabbergasted, but he’s also now thoroughly embarrassed that he was jealous of Batman being nice to kids.

When Wally snorts at Barry and Hal one day and refuses to bring them Alfred’s cookies, they try sneaking into the treehouse base.

Robin’s boobytraps are quite entertaining to watch in action, and all the Titans are lounging around their surveillance room watching the security feeds. They have freshly made popcorn and still-warm cookies, courtesy of Alfred. It’s a long, entertaining evening of watching the older heroes make fools of themselves.

Batman finds Barry and Hal hanging from a trap later that night and chews them out for trying to disturb the kids during their meeting time. And also for not being able to get through traps made by a literal eleven year old.

Then he goes inside and praises Robin for how well his booby traps worked.

[batsandbirdbrains]

As a mostly good dad!Bruce Wayne enjoyer I am absolutely cackling at the idea of #1-early-days-Titans-supporter Bruce Wayne! The rest of the league thinks he's nuts for trusting a bunch of sidekicks ("they like to be referred to as partners," Bruce reminds them) with large-scale missions. Bruce is 100% the type of hands off yet still a helicopter parent who'd sign up as chaperone/coach/den master just to keep an eye on their kid.

I'm just imagining Bruce (or Alfred if he's busy) driving a mini van or plane (I think it's so much more funnier if it's a regular soccer mom mini van honestly) to drop off the Titans at mission locations. Robin would do it but he's too short to reach the pedals and the rest of the team haven't learned how to drive yet. Meanwhile Bruce is sitting in the car just observing and cheering them on (in his own emotional constipated way lol)

God I love this so much. Especially of Batman is at a weekly JL meeting, telling all the others, “I don’t know why you don’t trust them, they’re performing really well together,” while he sips coffee from his World’s Best OK-est Coach mug (Wally found the cup, Roy crossed out Best and wrote OK-est in sharpie, Dick presented it to him with the utmost seriousness two days ago).

Oliver recognizes Roy’s handwriting and gets so annoyed. Bruce is smirking behind the rim of the mug, taking an obnoxious sip.

When they need to get somewhere for a mission, Batman pilots the Batplane (the Batmobile won’t fit all of them, he’s commissioning a car from Lucius) and as they arrive at the destination he’s just like, “Okay, kids, here we are. Remember: no mercy, no pity. Gouge them in the eyes if you have to. Have fun!” And he circles the area until Robin calls him on comms to let him know they’re ready to be picked up.

They all pile into the plane, still running on adrenaline and super excited. Roy tells him about how he shot a guy in the ass with his arrows before he could get a hit on Wally - he got one in each cheek. Wally snorts and laughs between a retelling of how he tripped six guys at once. Garth excitedly tells him he electrocuted the water in one area and knocked three guys out. Donna and Dick tell him how they tag-teamed a group of ten thugs without getting a scratch.

“Well done, well done! Excellent evening. Who wants pizza and cookies?”

Alfred has a late night snack waiting for them when they get back.

Bruce is the team dad, and he’s not even mad about it. He loves every second of it.

[batsandbirdbrains]

I'm absolutely in love with the idea of early Titans being like "Coon & Friends" from South Park! My favorite HC/AU for early Titans is that Dick was the first sidekick (and the youngest of them!) and that he was so kick-ass and adorable that everyone else in the Justice League wanted their own mini-mes.

It's hilarious to imagine Robin setting up a base at Wayne Manor (maybe a tree house deeper in the woods of the grounds for privacy?!) and having his teammates come over to plan missions. It's also great to imagine the justice league not taking them seriously at first (I mean c'mon, what are a bunch of pre-teens going to really do?) and then being absolutely flabbergasted that they have world saving missions (I 100% see Bruce having full faith in Robin, maybe not necessarily the rest of the Titans but he trusts Robin on his own missions with just some outside supervision from him).

Okay but early days Titans basically being Coon and Friends is my new fav headcanon. I want Dick to have been Robin since he was 8, and now he’s 11 and the other JL members are getting sidekicks, and he wants so badly to start his own superhero club. And Bruce? He’s all for it. Hires a contractor to build an elaborate treehouse and then he and Dick set everything up inside to essentially be a mini batcave. Then he gives Dick free rein and says, “Have fun, chum! Give me a holler if you need any help!”

And then Dick spends a week recruiting the other sidekicks (his new friends!) and putting the Titan Alert Systems in their homes.

How does he initially get them to come over to plan a mission?

“Alfred made cookies!”

The JL thinks they’re just playing, for the most part. They don’t think they’re seriously trying to form their own superhero group.

Bruce, on the other hand, has absolute full faith in Dick leading this group. He knows Dick is serious. He knows the kids are going to actually be going out and fighting. It’s why he insists that he’s always available if Dick or his friends need any help.

So say there’s something actually sort of serious happening, and the JL all goes in, only to find that the Titans are already there! And they’re working like a well oiled machine.

“About time you old geezers showed up!”

Batman is so proud. Everyone else is baffled.

Also I just think this gif is so funny if it’s something Dick would say if someone in this scenario pissed him off

[batsandbirdbrains]

Someone pls remind me if Terry McGinnis is Bruce’s clone or biological son or just another kid Bruce took in? Bc I’ve seen conflicting answers and one of my current brain worms I’m working on needs a definite answer lmao

[batsandbirdbrains]

Silly little sort of crack idea for the Justice League who still don’t know who Batman is behind the mask. Like they know nothing about him. A lot of them think he’s a Creature of some sort. They certainly don’t know anything about Dick/Robin, either. But he keeps leaving meetings early or abruptly or just straight up not showing up because, “I have more important obligations.”

So they spy on him. It’s the obvious solution. Because what if he’s really a villain of some sort? Gotham is crazy, they wouldn’t put it past someone from Gotham to pretend to be a hero for some crazy, convoluted plan.

And what they find shocks all of them. Because maybe they snuck a bug on Batman, and it only picks up audio. Batman had just left a meeting early. Again. With no real explanation as to why.

First, they hear mostly static. The sound of since rustling as he moves. Then actual bat noises start echoing, and Barry is convinced that Batman just turned into a bunch of bats.

But then they hear a a tiny little voice shouting, “B! We’re gonna be late!” followed by the sound of something colliding with Batman.

And then Batman chuckles. It scares the crap out of all of them. They didn’t think Batman could have emotions outside of anger and annoyance.

“I know, chum, I’m sorry.”

“You said your dumb meetings were only supposed to be two hours!”

“They are,” Batman huffs. “Flash likes to chitchat.”

Barry scoffs. What’s wrong with chit chatting!

“We’re gonna be late!” the child’s voice whines. “I don’t wanna get in trouble!”

“Alright, alright,” Batman laughs. “We’re leaving now, let’s go. Do you have all your gear together?”

“It’s already in the car!” the child huffs. “Let’s go!”

The noise that follows is muffled, and they can tell that Batman has changed out of his gear and they’re now in a car, driving in the road. The radio is playing, and it’s causing some static in the feed.

“And you promise you won’t yell this time?” the boy’s voice whines.

“So long as they don’t make any shit calls this time,” Batman scoffs.

“Language, sir,” another voice says, and they hear the child giggling.

Hal asks the others if Batman has a henchman. They all shush him so they can keep listening.

The noise that follows soon after is full of other people talking, shouting, and loudspeaker announcements. Everything is muffled together, it’s hard to make out what exactly is being said. But one thing becomes very clear.

Batman is coaching a little league game.

And he’s getting very heated about it.

“YOU CALL THAT A STRIKE?”

“HE WAS SAFE! THAT WASN’T AN OUT! NO, NO, THIS INNING IS NOT OVER.”

“OH COME ON, HE TAGGED HIM! THAT KID’S OUT!”

“GET YOUR FUCKIN’ EYES CHECKED, BLUE!”

They hear Batman get ejected. From a little league game. They hear grumbling to himself as he watches from the car in the parking lot.

Then they hear the same little boy whining and complaining when the door opens again an hour later and he slumps into the car.

“You promised you wouldn’t yell!”

“I wouldn’t have had to yell if the umpires opened their damn eyes!”

“Language like that is what got you thrown out of the game, sir. Again.”

“It’s only happened twice!”

“It’s only the fifth game of the season!” the little boy whines. “And you promised me ice cream if we won.”

“Did you win?”

“Duh,” the boy scoffs. “9 to 3!”

“Attaboy,” Batman says, and he sounds so proud.

They stop listening then, because one thing has become very clear. Batman is a dad. And he’s constantly leaving meetings early because of obligations to his kid. And suddenly they all feel like assholes.

A couple months later, they’re all introduced to a little boy called Robin. And they can’t figure out how Batman’s son is so cute and sweet. But they absolutely can tell he’s Batman’s, because he’s also scary as shit.

[batsandbirdbrains]

So I had South Park on and the Coon and Friends episode was playing and now all I can think of is that when Dick first started the Titans, before they had their own headquarters, he sets up what is essentially the same thing as the Coon Alert in all his friends’ homes. And they have NO idea when the hell he did it. But it’s how he gets their attention when he wants to go on missions with them.

And so u just end up with the titans in situations like the following gifs lmao. This is all while the Titans are like 11-13 btw so it rly is like kids playing superhero

[batsandbirdbrains]

your posts are so fun and lovely and as much as i enjoy bad parent bruce i am a sucker for good parent bruce because it makes the bad moments so much more painful

dick being in the single digits when he is taken in by bruce is so dear to me and him being the only one in that age range (jason being around 12/13, tim being 13, stephanie being around 15, damian being 10) is part of the reason i always prefer dick being 8 when he taken in. my personal timeline for dick has him being orphaned at 8 and taken in by bruce (who was also 8 when he was orphaned, perhaps the most important parallel for me), he settles into the manor for about 1 or 2 months, he goes out as robin unofficially and tony zucco is brought to justice, he is trained by bruce for around 1 year and officially debuts as robin when he is about to turn 9 or has just turned 9.

dick being 8 when bruce and him meet informs their relationship a lot which i think is the reason their relationship differs from the succeeding robins who come in as teens or almost teens even though bruce is older when the others come in. bruce being lost in the time stream for about a year means that damian would be around 11 when he and bruce finally start building a relationship. 12/13 year olds are little kids too but 8 year olds are so young even in comparison. i would imagine that caring for a 2nd grader would be quite different from caring for a 6th/7th grader even if the 2nd grader is very mature for his age. (i think all the robins were very mature for their ages) dick being so young makes bruce's growth as a caretaker more compelling imo if we take bruce to be around 25 or so when he takes dick in. (in my personal timeline bruce becomes batman at 25, solo for 2 years and takes dick in at 27, dynamic duo begins when bruce is 28 after around a year of dick's training. this makes their age gap 19 years but bruce starting batman at 25 and being solo for 2/3 years has just stuck with me)

You get it, anon!! You Get It!!

It’s the parallels of them both being the same age when they witness their parents’ deaths, of them being angry and grieving and wanting revenge but choosing justice instead.

It’s the concept of Bruce being so young and definitely not prepared to care for and raise a grieving little boy, but he understands what Dick is going through, and he wants so desperately to help. And he’s convinced that no one else would be able to help Dick, not like he could.

It’s Dick/Robin being the light to Bruce/Batman’s darkness. Bruce sees how he himself turned out, how he’s still stuck in the shadows and the grief, and he does everything he can to make sure Dick doesn’t get dragged down into the darkness like he did. He wants Dick to be better than him. He wants Robin to be better than Batman.

And Dick is so young, so little, when he first comes to live with Bruce. And maybe Bruce is afraid of breaking him, of doing something wrong and hurting this tiny little child who depends on him now.

The others are all older. They’re more capable of taking care of themselves. Not that Dick wasn’t capable of it himself, but it’s different. Eight year olds still get nightmares, still might ask to sleep in Bruce’s bed because he’s scared, still needs help with little things an older child wouldn���t. So it’s a very different dynamic than what he has with the other boys.

Idk I just have a lot of feelings about Bruce and Dick being parallels to each other, it means so much to me.

[batsandbirdbrains]

What if… Robin was a closeted gay/bi and Batman is an ally?

Perhaps Grayson comes out to Bruce?

I mean is that not Tim Drake’s canon storyline? Idk I don’t keep up with the other Robins tbh