bklyntherapist

[bklyntherapist]

My 20 Favorite Books of 2022

My 20 Favorite Books of 2022

I read 82 books this year, a new record for me. Here are my twenty favorite books of the year.  Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen Technically I finished this on December 31, 2021, but I didn’t get to put it on my list last year because I had already written this post. This was my first exposure to Jane Austen, and to be honest, I wasn’t really looking forward to it. I had purposely avoided…

[bklyntherapist]

We're All Just Commodities In the Modern Economy

We’re All Just Commodities In the Modern Economy

A thought occurred to me as I scrolled my Twitter feed, then clicked on the Candy Crush knock-off game I play too much, and then on a YouTube video. While I may feel like a living sentient being with human feelings, in a very real way to the modern economy I am treated first and foremost as a commodity.  This is hardly an original thought. Satires and critiques of consumer culture have permeated…

[bklyntherapist]

Against Perfectionism (or How to Enjoy Being a Fuck-Up)

Against Perfectionism (or How to Enjoy Being a Fuck-Up)

I just published a new article for Tricycle magazine!

[bklyntherapist]

Living With Trauma, a Mindful, Buddhist Perspective

Living With Trauma, a Mindful, Buddhist Perspective

I’ve been reflecting on trauma with my patients as of late. It’s occurred to me more and more that what is often diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and even conditions like Irritable Bowel Syndrome is really just masked trauma. When I say trauma, I do mean all the things we usually consider trauma like physical violence and rape. But I also tend to define trauma more broadly than most. To…

[bklyntherapist]

The Strangeness of Consciousness: Stray Observations from My Morning Meditation

The Strangeness of Consciousness: Stray Observations from My Morning Meditation

A stray observation from my meditation this morning: being alive is really weird.  As I sat on my cushion and tried to be with my breath and in the moment, I did my best to use mindfulness to reflect and observe myself. I paid closer and closer attention to my thoughts and feelings and had a few realizations:  Firstly,  I’m a solipsistic, narcissist whose every thought and feeling centers…

[bklyntherapist]

The World Wants You to Hate Yourself. Here's How To Fight Back.

The World Wants You to Hate Yourself. Here’s How To Fight Back.

I had a thought recently: the world wants you to hate yourself. What do I mean by this? I mean the entire society and subsequent economy are built on self-loathing. Take advertising. All of us are constantly inundated with ads whether on Facebook, Instagram, television, surfing the web, or just driving your suburban town where billboards dart the highways.  Advertising’s entire goal is to get…

[bklyntherapist]

Ranking The Coen Brothers' Filmography

Ranking The Coen Brothers’ Filmography

A little something different for this post… After watching The Tragedy of Macbeth, I decided to watch the Coen Brothers’ entire filmography in chronological order a few months back. I had seen many of them but had missed a decent amount too. And it gave me a chance to watch some classics I hadn’t seen in years. So without further ado, here is my very, very subjective ranking of the films of Joel…

[bklyntherapist]

Against Perfectionism Or How to Enjoy Being a Fuck Up

Against Perfectionism Or How to Enjoy Being a Fuck Up

Perfectionism is a disease among my patients. People’s inner dialogues these days are unrelenting. The oddity of this all is that the more perfect someone might seem on the outside, often times the more broken they are on the inside. (Of course, this isn’t everyone by any means).  It takes a ceaseless, judging superego to maintain the veneer of perfection to the outside world, and any sort of…

[bklyntherapist]

The Weirdness of Writing a First Novel: 4 Musings on the Journey to Finish

The Weirdness of Writing a First Novel: 4 Musings on the Journey to Finish

The past two weeks I’ve been hard at work on the second draft of my first novel, and I’m in a good rhythm. I’ve been writing from 1000-to 1500 words a day 6 days a week. I’m not sure how sustainable that pace is, but for now, I like where I’m headed.  Novel writing has been a unique project for me. I tried once about 10 years ago and gave up. But mostly I have never worked on something quite…

[bklyntherapist]

Nihilism or Optimism? More Thoughts on Grief

Nihilism or Optimism? More Thoughts on Grief

(My apologies in advance for writing about grief again. I wish my mind was elsewhere, but I suppose that’s what happens when someone close to you dies.) I have yet to figure out what grief is. I can only tell you that my emotions are everywhere right now like a rubber ball bouncing in a small room. One minute I forgot and life goes on. Other minutes I feel nihilistic. I cannot see the point in…

[bklyntherapist]

Our Instincts Are Who We Are: Finding Our Way in the Mess of Civilization

Our Instincts Are Who We Are: Finding Our Way in the Mess of Civilization

Recently I reread Fernando Pessoa’s  “The Book of Disquiet.” (If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it.) In a later chapter, the narrator said something that struck me. To paraphrase, he stated that every emotion we have has an instinctual basis. This seems obvious on its surface. For example, if I feel angry, it could be that my body is telling me that I’m hungry or that I am being…

[bklyntherapist]

Life Goes On and On and On and On... More Reflections on the Death of a Parent

Life Goes On and On and On and On… More Reflections on the Death of a Parent

Today I saw my father-in-law for the first time since my father passed away. He was kind and sympathetic. He told me a brief story about his father’s death in the hall near the balustrade before he left for work. For him, it felt momentous. He described it as “this horrible thing that had happened.” He officially became the oldest male in the family. He felt a deep emptiness afterward. But the…

[bklyntherapist]

Thinking About Paradox

A quote from the Tao Te Ching hangs in my line of vision as I write this:  “The universe is sacred. You cannot improve it. If you try to change it, you will ruin it. If you try to hold it, you will lose it.” Depending on your point of view, this is either philosophical mumbo jumbo, shallowness masked as profundity, or it says something wise and thoughtful about the nature of existence. I…

[bklyntherapist]

Reflecting on the Death of a Parent

Reflecting on the Death of a Parent

My dad passed away about 17 days ago now. This is the first time I’ve tried to write about it in any meaningful way. What does one say that doesn’t sound like a cliche? As you can imagine, when someone you love passes, you hear every cliche in the book. “He’s in a better place,” or “at least he isn’t suffering anymore.” (No one has yet to tell me that life is meaningless and all that awaits us is…

[bklyntherapist]

The Joy of The Present: Dealing With Anxiety Using Mindfulness

The Joy of The Present: Dealing With Anxiety Using Mindfulness

Most of us accept the reality given to us. That includes our thoughts and feelings. After all, if we think or feel it, it must be true on some level, we suppose. Our thoughts and feelings are communications to what is going on in the recesses of our soul, whether it’s love, fear, sadness, or tiredness. And as a therapist, the last thing I want to do is discount or invalidate a person’s thoughts…

[bklyntherapist]

The Dreadfulness of Cars

The Dreadfulness of Cars

Just a quick reflection on something I have been thinking about a lot lately…  In Richmond, British Columbia, where I have spent a lot of time the past two years, pristine public paths traverse the city. Along these paths, the residents, young, old, Chinese, white, bike, run or walk up and down the paths toward the ocean waters that surround the city. Along these paths, Richmond offers plenty of…

[bklyntherapist]

5 Ways I Cope With Despair

5 Ways I Cope With Despair

It’s an overwhelming time to be alive. Omicron runs rampant. Inflation is up 8%. Housing and healthcare keep going up all over the country. Our government seems either inept or corrupt. And the climate keeps warming higher and higher as we futilely do too little to stop it.  Most of my patients are struggling. I realize that my patients aren’t the perfect sample of what is going on in the…