bumpytoad - Tumblr blog

[bumpytoad]

"Less is more"? No, MORE is more. Let your face and body be a canvas. Self-expression is fundamental. Why restrain your creativity?

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I don't judge based on appearances, or based on anything that the majority tends to react to fearfully without much thought. On the contrary, I am fascinated by anything different. It offends me when others can't get past the superficial. It hurts me. It makes me feel very unhappy and even greatly distressed when others dismiss the things that I care about on a deep level and are actually comforting to me by saying they’re "too scary" as if that means there's nothing more to them that is of any value and I should stop liking them. I really feel hurt when the things I care about, love and like a lot, connect to/connect with and identify with and as are wrongfully regarded as "evil" and "hideous." I don't have negative visceral gut reactions to things that are different. I don't get repulsed or afraid or distrustful just on the basis of someone or something being different. I don't see things as "too garish" or distasteful, either, just based on being visually "loud" and exuberant in their creativity. I don't see the things most tend to regard as being "extreme" (as though there's anything wrong with that) as being "too much." I consider "extreme" to be a relative term. I don't reject anyone or feel harshly towards anyone based on appearances, and it's the same with interests and Dark things. I don't see "ugly," or "scary," or "weird" as in bad. I generally see the things that others view as ugly and scary and weird as beautiful and wholesome and fascinating. I don't want to associate with those who judge based on appearances. I would never want to be friends with them unless they are willing to learn to be open-minded, or unlearn their harmful biases. I wouldn't want to be exposed to those judgmental individuals trying to influence me to be and think like them as though I'm naive if I don't or that there must be something terribly wrong with me. I can't tolerate any of the cruelties and biases that for most humans are just considered "normal." I can't and I won't. They just don't make any sense to me, and all they end up doing is harming the innocent folks and lifeforms who just happen to be different or misunderstood. Life isn't what it used to be when those primitive responses were more essential to survival. Those who are different in appearance are generally not a threat at all -- rather, we are most often the ones being severely victimized.

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Why is appearance and style fair game to severe criticism? If you look at a Picasso painting and maybe the art style isn't for you, would you call it "stupid" and think Picasso should have never expressed himself? No, because that would be ignorant. But when someone looks a certain way, they can be hated and pressured constantly to change, even though to them that expression truly reflects who they are. And folks think that it shouldn't matter to that individual, to knock down their self-expression, and that they should just change if they don't like how they're treated. But this isn't so -- expression has a deep meaning. It's a big part of identity. It's one thing to not like something for yourself, but it's bigoted to not like it on someone else, especially if you make a big soul-crushing stink about it. It ruins one's self-esteem, especially if the individual considers this to be an IDENTITY they have that is connected to divergent flamboyant physical self-expression. Have some respect and empathy. It's a matter of what's right and wrong. Autistics also may look very different from the mainstream standards based on our interests and what makes us comfortable. Don't deny us our right to self-expression, and yes, judging us is cruel to the utmost degree. It's just as bad as any other form of prejudice that exists. Just as hate speech makes it difficult to feel free and safe, the attacks on self-expression through appearance make it difficult for that expression to exist for the same reasons.

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When you think of appearance discrimination, what comes to mind? Discrimination based on standards that disproportionately affect women, LGBTQIA+ in general, those who are overweight, and those with certain natural hairstyles, such as Afrotextured hair?

Many folks think that appearance discrimination only affects certain groups, though appearance discrimination can affect anyone who expresses themselves and their personal identities in a unique, flamboyant, and unconventional way.

What is unfortunate is that some folks might erroneously believe that appearance discrimination based on individual self-expression is less harmful than other forms of discrimination. However, appearance discrimination directly impacts and affects one's overall well-being in a significant way.

Severe self-esteem and mental health issues abound in this population, with prejudice, judgment, and discrimination as a direct cause. Some might say that flamboyant or "excessive" self-expression through appearance is itself a symptom of deeper mental health issues or a personality disorder, such as body dysmorphic disorder, OCD, narcissism, BPD and histrionic personality disorder. And while this might be true in some cases (Which is also something to be respectful, accepting, understanding, and accomodating towards), more often than not the only mental health issues are a result of significant trauma due to social stigma.

There are those out there who believe that individuals who express themselves in diverse and flamboyant ways through appearance have chosen to do this and thus deserve the discrimination they receive. The truth, however, is that everyone should have the right to freely express themselves without fear of judgment and discrimination.

Discrimination based on appearance expression is still not regarded as a serious issue by the majority. It's expected that those who face this issue simply need to "toughen up." Though appearance discrimination is a very real and significant issue that can have a profound impact on individuals' lives through real-world consequences, such as rejection and exclusion, verbal and physical harassment, being denied access to services and public places and spaces, and school and employment discrimination, among other consequences.

Even in instances where individuals are able to find employment, career opportunities are extremely limited, usually to self-employment or certain artistic careers. These individuals are most often hidden away from interacting with the public, just due to stereotypes and misconceptions that should never be justified and perpetuated.

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Identifying as Alterhuman doesn't necessarily mean the same thing as identifying as non-human. It's an alternative way of experiencing humanity, and/or having experiences that transcend or go beyond the typically recognized human construct or stereotype of experience. This could be due to neurodivergence, plurality, feeling more connected to primal human traits, etc.

Regarding having a nonhuman identity, it's very much possible to feel nonhuman by nature and on a psychological and/or spiritual level regardless of whether one also identifies as Therian, Otherkin, or any other specific nonhuman identity. One can also have a highly complex and multifaceted experience of oneself and one's identity and identity expression, or one can simply feel nonhuman. One doesn't necessarily specifically have to have any Theriotypes or Kintypes at all to identify as nonhuman. One can feel nonhuman fundamentally and either connect this feeling with being a specific species or entity or not. It's also possible for someone to just feel like...themselves, not a certain other species, but also not exactly human.

It's very much possible to identify as or with concepts, objects, archetypes, certain phenomena, etc., and not only as or with certain species or entities. It's very much possible to feel strongly like the personification or embodiment of something. I can also see how a connection to an object could be so deep that it becomes part of you in some inextricable way.

It's possible for those in a system to feel Alterhuman because being plural is considered to be outside of the social construct of what it means to be "human," as well as the fact that some systems may contain nonhuman alters. It's also possible for one to feel Alterhuman on a deep level while having Kithtypes but not any specific Kintypes. Being Kith itself is a fundamental Alterhuman identity in its own right.

One can feel deeply nonhuman on some intangible level, either wholly or partially, or feel Alterhuman, and not involve any additional labels. It's all valid.

Some may feel as though they were always meant to be a certain very specific species in both mind and bodily form, or else one can feel as though they were meant to be more anthropomorphic. One can have multiple types and feel like their types are all separate or one can feel like a hybrid or chimera or simultaneously separate and hybridized, or one can feel like all of their types are connected through symbiotic relationships, or else one can simply be without types or have types that are fluid. One can have "unusual" types and rare types.

Being Alterhuman and/or nonhuman can mean different things for different individuals, though ultimately this experience is essential to who one is and this identity and the ways one might express it should thus be honored and respected.

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Some say that "special interest" isn't a good term, and that Autistics should just be considered to have interests like anyone else. I vehemently disagree with this. The term isn't just cutesy and patronizing. The term is true. When you have a special interest or special interests, these become part of you. They often can't be separated, and especially not by force or social pressure without causing severe and everlasting distress and trauma. Even if special interests do shift in the sense of changing with new encounters and being more fluid, it's still fundamentally a brain difference that deeply affects our internal perception of identity and we can't be forced to change, and we would feel empty without a special interest and we need to feel connected to it on a deeper level than just really liking something. We need to understand it on an emotional level, assimilate it into us, merge with it. These special interests are so intense as to often be completely immersive and Autistics hyperfocus on them. And while most pathologize this in an educational setting, considering these interests to be too "restricted" where the Autistic individual can't learn anything else, this is just proof that Autistics are different and that standard environments are profoundly lacking and cognitive performance tests and IQ tests can't be applied to us with accuracy. But Autistics can learn more broadly. We do it all the time, but it has to be through our special interests. Our special interests are a gateway, a window into learning so many other things that we can connect back to those main special interests. This requires time and patience in education, and most often a one on one learning experience. Though there are those who can't learn in education regardless. It's just not who they are and they don't take to it. There is no connection with the approach or the setting. Many of us like this are considered intellectually disabled, but that's only because our brains are meant to be specialized. Specialized for our special interests. There are so many skills that we have that are often completely overlooked by outsiders such as professionals just because they don't fit into boxes and standards and align with milestones. And yes, my interests are special to me, so special in fact that I am extremely defensive about them and to abuse me for them is to cut my very soul.

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I don't want to be known as just another artist with a persona, or construct that is separate from myself. Everything folks see is the real me unless otherwise stated. My self-expression in any form it takes is authentic. It is naturally flamboyant. I'm not a fan of costumes, generally. This includes the "normal default human" costume that so many want or expect me to wear. Heck, this might be why I'm not a fan of costumes in general. I know what it's like to be forced into them, and I'll tell you, it's incredibly traumatic for me. Being forced into masking and closeting oneself is abuse. I don't exist to make others comfortable, or uncomfortable, for that matter. Though yes, I do have very strong values that differ from the mainstream which are inherent to my sense of identity and therefore it may seem like I'm just doing it to make a statement, but this is because the personal always has to be political in this world. I'm ambivalent towards Halloween. Personal expression is not a joke. Alterhuman identities are not a joke. I don't like seeing them be caricaturized. I am not a joke. Being Alterhuman does not mean that I or anyone else should have to be regarded as subhuman, either.

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What Xenogender means to me is having a nonbinary gender identity that is based on certain experiences and concepts that are not usually associated with "gender" and tend to be considered very much outside of it, where my sense of what's attractive for myself and how I present my gender identity isn't based on the typical gender standards (maleness, femaleness, neither, femininity, masculinity, etc.) and is very much outside of it and Other -- such as looking like a creature or entity and having a highly flamboyant appearance and such. It's about Otherness, and my gender expression is an extremely important part of my Xenogender identity. I often experience Xenogender dysphoria if I am unable to wear my face paint, for instance, which is my most important and meaningful form of self-expression.

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We need to get the professionals on our side, in support of flamboyant self-expression through appearance. This especially should include mental health professionals.

If we get mental health professionals to realize the significance of this type of self-expression, it will help a tremendous amount of individuals feel much more mentally well and more wholly connected with themselves.

This will set the standard for changing society as a whole, from employers and their workplace policies to appearance expectations in professional settings in general.

Discrimination against flamboyant forms of appearance-based self-expression is severely psychologically harmful and traumatic.

If mental health should be regarded as a major priority in society, then so too should self-expression.

Stifling harmless self-expression is a form of mental abuse and harmful stereotypes and stigmas surrounding certain expressions should not be allowed to remain unchecked. How on Earth can this still be justified as a reason to discriminate against folks for their appearances?

Creativity is healthy and productive and self-expression is an integral part of being sentient, sapient, and conscious. We need to put an end to "Acceptability standards" that regulate harmless behaviors and personal identity expressions.

We need those within the system to help change it, particularly mental health professionals who can advocate for the well-being of those who are marginalized and stigmatized.

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I am Darkly-inclined as an inherent and immutable part of my identity, rather than just relating to hobbies and interests.

I have had a consistent experience and understanding of myself as Darkly-inclined throughout my entire life. It has remained a constant in my life, throughout the various phases of my life. It has not fluctuated or changed.

It is a core part of my identity, an essential part of who I am.

It is also associated with my values, beliefs, philosophy and worldview, and the aesthetics resonate with me on an extremely deep level.

These themes and aesthetics provide me comfort in life and directly affect my self-image and self-concept in a way that goes far beyond a passing interest.

I am naturally drawn to these themes and aesthetics and they are rife with profound meanings which to me are very positive and life-affirming.

I am drawn to "the Gothic" and Otherness and misunderstood forms of diversity to the point where I feel as though I am a part of this diversity, and that I embody these themes and concepts.

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I can apply face paint. Detailed artistic face paint. I am an artist in general. Would this be considered a "splinter skill"? The term "splinter skill" is rightfully viewed as offensive by many disabled folks though.

My manual dexterity isn't the same as others. I don't necessarily create art using the tools in the supposed "right" way. Yet I still create art. I love to create art. It is extremely tedious and time-consuming for me, but it means everything to me to create it.

My manual dexterity was always something considered greatly concerning to others, when it came to, for instance, writing with pencils or cutting with scissors. Yet I still create art my own way, meticulously. I achieve neat and clean results. I've just learned to do it somewhat differently.

I am unable to open most things on my own, such as water bottles, as well as comb my own hair, tie my own shoes, dress myself, as well as accomplish most "activities of daily living" without a caregiver.

My legs have no strength when I find myself in certain positions. No strength at all. I can't bend without getting stuck and needing significant assistance. If I fall, I can't get up on my own.

I am a physically disabled artist. My balance is incredibly poor. I am a fall risk. I can't move quickly and I often need my hand held when I'm walking over certain terrain. Walking up and down stairs is extremely difficult.

I can't cook or drive or do most things that most folks can do. I need a lot of assistance to do most things in general that are far simpler for the majority than cooking and driving.

I am proud to be me in all respects. I love being who I am and I love being alive. Being disabled isn't all doom and gloom. I am Autistic and I have "co-morbidities" (as they are called) including physical disabilities. I am Multiply-disabled.

I never want Autism to be cured, if such a thing were possible. I never want to change who I am. I never want Autism to be eliminated from the gene pool. I love being Autistic. I am proud to be Autistic.

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I'm tired of forms of flamboyant self-expression being regulated and relegated to a very specific "time and place." I'm tired of worrying about policy changes in businesses targeting supposed "extreme" self-expression and being forced to leave public places due to discrimination. I'm tired of face paint being regarded as a safety issue regarding face obscuring/concealment as though it's not a crucial part of personal identity expression. I'm tired of school and workplace discrimination.

Not everyone who has a very flamboyant appearance wants to be a rock star or performance artist. Some of us want to practice Medicine, Law, or be a government official of some sort. Yet there are no activism or advocacy or other social movements pertaining specifically to flamboyant self-expression through appearance. Why is this? Even on Tumblr, this particular social activism issue is greatly overlooked as though it's not an important and fundamental human right.

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I am a very disabled and also officially DX'ed Autistic. There's this idea that very disabled individuals can't have complex personal identities and expressions, though the truth is that we're the ones who usually do place the most emphasis on personal identity.

We also can't just change ourselves in order to meet social expectations and "play the game" the way that many non-Autistics, non-Neurodivergents and non-disabled individuals so often can, either, and therefore many of us tend to really stand out in various ways.

There's this idea that we as Autistics shouldn't have the self-awareness necessary to express complex personal identities, when the truth is that we're often very self-aware. Our self-awareness so often deeply compounds the issues related to being disabled in this world.

We have to be self-aware by necessity. Our personal identities are so strong, and we have to develop defense mechanisms and keep them rigidly in place to maintain our personal identities in the face of severe opposition and adversity.

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Searching For Other Face Painters

Are there any other individuals here on Tumblr who wear flamboyant face paint all the time in public as a way of expressing a very deep, meaningful, and sacred part of yourselves and your personal identity?

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I have a fear of putting myself out there. I'm a very private individual with a need to maintain a personal life that is free from drama and negative repercussions, and yet this is challenging for me because wearing flamboyant face paint is so important to my personal identity.

It hurts me tremendously that personal identities along with their self-expression are not often afforded recognition and legitimacy along with the rights and dignity that are concomitant with this. Not everyone prioritizes their social identity and biological characteristics over their personal identity. For some, personal identity may be more significant, or else it is of equal significance. Regardless, personal identity and the expressions thereof are of immutable importance to the individual that no one should be able to deny or devalue.

Yet many aspects of personal identity, as well as many personal identities in their own right, are not protected by law. It's like a free-for-all when it comes to discrimination. I tremble with fear in the knowledge that I don't have the same rights to security and safety and full participation in society as others do, simply on the basis of my self-expression through appearance.

I have so much internalized shame, feeling like a troublemaker and a rule-breaker just for being myself. I'm not a threat and I don't cause harm to anyone. I am not trying to conceal my identity, rather, I am just trying to express it in the best way that feels right to me. I have no reason to hide who I am, and I have no criminal intentions.

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I believe insects, arthropods, arachnids, mollusks, gastropods, myriapods, invertebrates in general, fungi, microorganisms, and prehistoric Theriotypes are definitely valid. There are so many ways to incorporate these into your identity. There are so many ways to relate to these on a deep level, and be Kith with them as well. Also, these Theriotypes and Hearttypes are cool as heck!

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What a lot of folks don't realize is that being Kith is an absolutely rapturous experience that is transformative and life-changing. Most don't experience things on this level and perhaps never will. Being Kith is on an equal footing with Kin, it's not any less significant of an identity experience (i.e., when someone asks if they're Therian or Otherkin and are met with a response using the qualifier "just," such as, "You're probably just Kith."). It's its own experience that very often may even be a more intense experience than being Kin for many individuals.