callmejco

[callmejco]

The hypocrisy is unmatched in this one...

[callmejco]

Wanna play 'I Spy'? Cool, I'll go first.

I spy a fascist wannabe soldier who thinks he's hot shit and wears full multicam tac gear but couldn't be fucked to 𝖘𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍 𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖘𝖐𝖊𝖙𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖘. Bet he thought nobody would notice.

I see you, you power-tripping Boy Scout. 👀🤡

[callmejco]

People may never change.

But, I want - NEED - to believe they do.

Because, if I don't have anyone to trust, what do I have?

If I don't have anyone, then what am I?

[callmejco]

*cutely overthinks until I spiral*

[callmejco]

"It was never really a battle for me to win, it was an eternal dance. And like a dance, the more rigid I became, the harder it got. The more I cursed my clumsy footsteps, the more I struggled. So I got older and I learned to relax. And I learned to soften and that dance got easier. It is this eternal dance that separates humans beings from angels, from demons, from gods. And I must not forget - we must not forget - that we are human beings."

-Ren

[callmejco]

Why is it called an 'oven' when you ov-in the cold food, ov-out the hot eat the food?

[callmejco]

"PLANET EARTH, I NEED A FRIEND, BECAUSE I'M ON THE OUTSIDE, LOOKING IN. I'M AN ALIEN."

[callmejco]

Bro I was in school today and my teacher sat down with me to talk about my essay and she said 'atta boy' and I stuttered and she laughed and I'm mortified 😭

[callmejco]

Happy Tourette's Awareness Month, everyone 🙂❤️

[callmejco]

Do you wanna know how to feel socially capable, and stop acting so awkward?

...

Oh, I wasn't asking because I have the answer.

I was asking because I wanna know too.

Sorry.

[callmejco]

[callmejco]

Everyone has goth sex hormones it came free with your fucking existence.

[callmejco]

Forbidden Cosmic Brownie

⚠️⚠️⚠️ MAY CAUSE: TIME TRAVEL, DIZZINESS, NAUSEA, HEADACHES, QUANTUM ENTANGLEMENT, SPONTANEOUS URINATION, INFERTILITY, HEARTBURN, SKIN DEMATERIALIZATION, DRY HEAVING, COUGHING BLOOD, URINARY TRACT INFECTION, ASTHMA, DERMATITIS, CONSTIPATION, SCOLIOSIS, INTERFERENCE WITH FABRIC OF REALITY, DEATH, PNEUMONIA, ALZHEIMERS, WEIGHT GAIN, DEPRESSION, KIDNEY STONES, TOTAL ORGAN FAILURE, BLISTERS, CYSTS, TRENCH FOOT, REPLACEMENT VIA CLASS-6 ANOMALY, AND IN RARE CASES, flu. ⚠️⚠️⚠️

[callmejco]

No amount of prescriptions in the world can make me stop being obsessed with @cyb3rcvp1d 🥰

⚠️ THIS IS A JOKE - THESE ARE REAL, PRESCRIBED MEDS, TAKEN AS PRESCRIBED - PLEASE DO NOT SEND THE FEDS 🚨⚠️

[callmejco]

Where the fuck is my girlfriend

Babe, if you're reading this: I'm going to EAT you

[callmejco]

Long talks here?