crunchywhitepaper - Tumblr blog

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you cannot headcanon your way out of overt thematic structures on which the entire narrative is built

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me when im a liar who has lied several times already and is currently lying about being sorry for lying and will continue to lie going forward

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saw a little nightmares x deadplate crossover by @Enx_uann inspired by this post

Made me think of a post canon idea i had after the tower

Spoilers ahead of little nightmares!!

So you know how Mono becomes the Thin Man and Six becomes the Lady in the Maw theory? idk if it's a theory but anyway i believe it

so Mono is Rody and Six is Vincent which fits considering how hungry Six is all the time and Vincent is exactly that but with love?

i'd like to believe that if vincent becomes the lady in the maw or well, the man in the maw, whichever fits, he'd be able to fulfill his gluttony in the worst way possible. being full but being eternally hungry

i like to think that rody once gave him that satisfaction, of feeling full. feeding him everything, finding him food but vincent was too consumed by the hunger and the relief to think about anything else

his hunger will always be there, it's only appeased

rody who once trusted and trusted, now repeats the same cycle the brought them together to ensure that a part of them, the younger versions of them will always be together because of him and that's why he keeps messing their past selves around

rody who's trust and love for others became a cage for those who finds an interest in

i thought of how the thin man aka rody wouldnt leave the cage be built for their past selves as well as the prison he built for himself. why would he? it's the place where he can always see love and be loved even by proxy

thought of how the lady in the maw leaves the maw, in the same willful way he did in the past to search for fulfillment and finds rody like this

and so quickly rody just snaps his attention to vincent. pushing him away from the city. not letting him come close to the cage he built until vincent destroys it himself

rody attacking vincent in anger for destroying the last thing he had and a thought

vincent was still vincent

why dont i cage you instead?

so yea thats it

yandere vibes

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dude ive written so much cringy self indulgent wips for hanzo. i love him so much

i wanna finish them!!!!

will i, i dunno

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some of the voicelines i heard with soldier 76 is him trying to put the blame on someone else (coughs genji) but then puts the blame back on him and really, i see s76 struggling with what happened and lashing out but also filled with guilt of what happened even if it's not all because of him

now time to write s76 who doesnt want help because he had spent years not being with someone who cared for him and blaming himself for ow. lashing out in anger if the person persists and filled with guilt when the person leaves

lose lose situation for sad dad

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cw: self-hatred, self-blame, nausea, skipping meals (brief thought), inability to start tasks, insomnia, suicidal ideation, breakdown, sleep deprivation, anxiety (tell me if i forgot to tag something)

summary: jack morrison struggling from sep to overwatch to the fall of overwatch and its rise

hear me out

jack morrison had troubles with tasks when he entered the military. any paperwork that needed to be passed? laughed off until a day before he needs to submit it as he stays up on the verge of a breakdown typing the thing with lights out.

gabriel being his buddy at the time and always trying to get jack to do his deadlines early on but jack just cant do it. he tries for like an hour but never does anything substantial.

gabriel ends up offering to work with jack on their shit and jack slowly ends up having a semi decent work ethic.

until overwatch happened and the shitstorm that happened there

jack wakes up to a lot of tasks and gabriel isn't there. he goes back to staying up all night. the anxiety running through his veins, tears pouring down his face as he types whatever bullshit he can.

it's the only way he can do it.

he's thankful for the serum that it allows him to do this for weeks on end. he doesn't sleep he just passes out in his bed when he gets the chance to lie down from the exhaustion. he invests in eyedrops and ice packs just so the sleep deprivation isn't noticeable. makeup as well to hide his pallor face.

he does this just so the others don't worry.

when ana dies, when gabriel isn't looking for him anymore except for work, he stops doing that as well. no one will look anyway, why bother?

when overwatch falls and soldier 76 emerges in the ashes, he thought, 'that was the best sleep he'd had in years'

without the paperwork and now moving to action, a part of him thinks, he shouldn't be running on so little sleep.

a major part of him goes, you've spent years with no sleep, why stop now.

he goes without sleep. he continues the same habits, unable to fall asleep even if he wanted to anyway. unable to move without the tension running under his skin.

the days where he needed to rest for his wounds were the worst. he'd lie in whatever place he found himself in and just sleep, uncaring of the hours that pass. he wakes up hungry, remembers the nausea that followed him throughout the day and eats a ration bar

he remembers the past and he cries, wondering how much he didn't notice because he was always so tired. maybe if he did better. maybe if he would just sleep properly, maybe-

he finishes the bar and curls back to sleep, the voices screaming in his head.

when he first meets reaper, when he meets gabriel again as an enemy, he wonders just what happened. reaper blames him and 76 can only accept it, knowing its the truth.

when ana arrives, 76 is both filled with relief and dread. he doesn't join ana. he doesn't want her to know that he can't take care of himself. he makes up some bullshit reason they fight. ana wants to help him. 76 tells her he doesnt need it. it's a lie but he won't drag her to his issues.

ana sighs and offers him a way to contact her. he takes it and leaves.

he doesn't sleep that night as well.

he finds more information about overwatch. about talon. about reaper. it's faster with ana. he thinks of giving up. with every intel, he finds it harder and harder to fall asleep. his mind keeps screaming at him.

he remembers when overwatch first fell and he remembers how it felt to actually feel rested. his whole body stung with burns and cuts and his eyes were shot to shot but he could hear himself think. a decent tradeoff, honestly.

how hard would it be to do the same now? what does he need so he can finally sleep? he chases the thought in his mind, thinking it over and over and-

death was also sleep, wasn't it?

a hush settles over his thoughts and 76 closes his eyes and grips tightly on his weapon. don't think about it, he thinks. it continues to follow him.

he gets invited to overwatch. 76 only knows of suffering and pain during overwatch. he supposed it was nice early on but it didn't last. he denies the invitation.

he ends up fucked while chasing one of the leads. 76 ends up running more and more on gas. that one thought that visited him continued to haunt him.

he faces reaper and reaper gives him no mercy. under the barrel of a shotgun, 76 thinks, this is it but his consciousness fades with a sharp pain on the side of his head.

he's caught. talon wants dibs on a body that survived the soldier enhancement program.

funny enough, they put him through sleep deprivation. 76 laughs. he can do this anytime. he hasn't tested the limits of what his body can handle considering he always passed out on the two week mark at most, he wonders now.

overwatch ends up saving him on the first week. somehow, for some reason, reaper and sombra are in tow. he should care, he thinks. he doesn't. it's too tiring to care. too tiring to think.

he ends up sleeping days away as he heals. angela tells him the results of his checkup, he isnt surprised. she pinpoints his shit habits. he doesnt know himself if he can change it.

genji visits him. he holds a conversation. cole visits him. he does the same. ana visits him. he just nods as she scolds him.

he's actually doing this, the thought visits him. being a functional human being and talking! wow!

then reaper arrives and he doesnt take any of his bullshit. no, not reaper. gabriel, the mask he adorned is gone and what faces him, even as wispy as his body is, is gabriel.

"jack."

"ana already gave me the speech," he says, forcing his body to relax as he stretches.

"that's not what im here for." gabriek takes a seat and stays silent. jack leaves him be, leaning back and staring at the ceiling.

oh, he didn't think about his sleep. it didn't feel like one. not deep enough, maybe. one second, he was in that room and another, he wakes in the clinic.

"don't you have anything to ask me?" gabriel starts. when jack looks over at him, gabriel is frowning. ask? maybe, he thinks. maybe he could ask why he was with talon. maybe he could ask what happened with overwatch. maybe he could ask about them, what happened to them, what made them like this? maybe he could ask, but did it matter?

the ache in his chest is familiar and jack ignores it. did it matter if he had the answers? he can't do anything anyway. he went searching for answers because he couldn't do anything about it. he didn't do a single thing. his actions were always for answers but now, now when reaper, when gabriel is in front of him, did the answers really matter?

jack opens his mouth, closes them and stares at gabriel's eyes. it's black, unlike the red light that seemingly seeped out of his mask whenever he fought him as reaper. he could also ask him that, what made him reaper but-

"no," he shrugs, "i don't have anything. you?"

"what?"

"i don't have anything," he repeats, "is that all or?"

"you were searching for answers!" gabriel hisses, "about reaper? about talon? about overwatch?"

"i don't need to know," jack tells him. it feels like he's watching his body. it moves without input. "you're back here in overwatch, so you've finished what you need to do, right? so i don't need to know what happened."

"you-!" gabriel jerks, his teeth bared into a snarl before pulling himself back. he turns to the side, the light in his eyes have turned red. jack watches him as he stands up, the chair skidding back from the force and he says, "i'll-"

he takes a deep breath. jack notices wisps of black coming from his body. gabriel continues, "i'll come back later"

jack doesn't know what happened to gabriel. just that he became whatever he is because of him. because of what happened in overwatch.

maybe he should know about it. torture himself with the information as he doesn't sleep but exhaustion is already etched in his bones. what else can it do to him that he haven't already? kill him? he scoffed at the thought. his body won't accept it even as he tries.

he closes his eyes and lets his thoughts scream at him endlessly. since whatever he was searching for was useless considering gabriel and ana are back, he wonders what to do. help overwatch? he can't do it again. they need a better leader. be a soldier for overwatch? he's fucking useless as a soldier, barrelling through every fight with just willpower.

he'll just go lie down quietly, somewhere else. maybe then he can sleep. maybe then. he spends several long days in the clinic before he is discharged.

the others offer him a place in overwatch. he declines. ana and gabriel comes. he declines.

he'd love to say he slept great but he didn't. he's itching to leave and just get lost somewhere.

he doesn't get the chance. he wants to leave. he does! but he's assigned a room in the base until he recovers and he just, stays there. he sleeps. he thinks of his plans, of packing up, of leaving, of telling everyone else but he doesn't.

he doesn't sleep. that should be enough. usually it was enough. daybreak comes, noon comes and night comes. he's hungry and he's still thinking about it.

it's not enough. the panic is familiar. he pushes his body up, he wants to pack up. he doesn't. he sits on his bed, exhausted but doesn't move. he wants to leave. he needs to leave. why can't he move? it was always fixed when he didn't sleep.

a robotic voice speaks up in his room, "commander morrison, the others have left a meal in front of your room."

he moves towards the door, the motion is easy and he takes the chance, "can you tell them that i want to leave the base?"

"i shall relay your message."

there's no one outside and a meal sits there on the floor. he takes it and closes it again.

"the others wish to talk with you before you leave."

he sits back on the bed with the tray on his thighs. he stares at it. he can't eat it. he eyes the banana on the side and puts the tray down on the floor. he eats the banana and goes back to sleep. he doesn't reply to athena.

he wakes up and just leaves the base. a moment of clarity and he doesn't bring anything. he doesn't get far as he just stumbles through the forest with no idea where he is.

gabriel finds him.

jack is sitting next to a tree with his face buried in his arms and knees. he doesn't know what to do. he left and for what? he left with nothing. what did he expect?

maybe he should stay with overwatch. be a soldier. continue following orders. god knows where the fuck his life is right now.

"jack." gabriel calls out. jack grips tighter on his clothes and curls in. gabriel stares at him then sits down besides him. he sends a message to the others that he's found him and to leave it to him.

they sit in silence.

"why are you here?" jack's voice is a whisper that gabriel can barely hear over the forest.

"everyone was worried when you suddenly left. if you wanted to leave, we could help you."

"..."

"jack, please, say something, anything."

"do you remember back in sep?" jack starts. gabriel keeps quiet, listening. "no, nevermind."

"sep? what do you mean?"

"just leave me alone, ga-," jack's breath hitches, not gabe, gabriel, reaper, "gabriel. i'll be fine."

he will be. he thinks even as he's absolutely fucking lying. enough to function, be normal.

"jack. jack?"

jack doesn't want to be here. jack just wants to sleep. stop making them worry, you worthless piece of shit. stop being like this! STOP, JUST STOP! make them stop worrying. everything's fine. you're being a fucking big baby.

his fists tighten to a grip, the pain noticeable. there's a lump in his throat that he forces himself to swallow. his eyes are welling with tears. he takes a deep breath and stretches his lips to a smile. he repeats it again and again. smiling in the darkness. making it as genuine as he can.

he was just overwhelmed. it won't happen. show a hint of exhaustion. it's alright. i just wasn't used to this. sorry. thank you for this. it's... just been a while. let the smile fall.

he takes another deep breath and lifts his head.

"hey gabe," he remembers the nickname. he stares at his eyes. he doesn't want to, "sorry about that." casual is fine "i'm fine now." like that, perfect. "let's get back to base?"

gabriel is staring at him with a pinched expression. his mouth open and jack interrupts him with gritted teeth, "please."

they return back to the base in silence. jack's miserable as he faces the others, excuses lined with truths.

"it won't happen again."

"jack, it's alright," ana's understanding voice was the exact opposite of what he wanted. he didn't need it.

the other's voices went in one ear and to the other as jack spoke of nonsense platitudes, already knowing what he needed to work on, his own flaws and weaknesses. gabriel had only watched him from afar until jack was free to go back in his own room.

sleep did not come for him that day either.

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WAIT OK LET ME CLARIFY- NO DADDY KINKS FOR SURE, I SWEAR. But he's got her pinned in the fight (she's just a little 5ft nothin ball of fucking RAGE in a fight, the gremlin) and she says it just to stun him so she can proceed to like karate chop him in the shins idk her plan (what plan?) She's like, desperately in love with him, but one day he goes so much further than his usual "fuck off", gets REAL mean and hurtful, and she's like "oh nah ok if my love won't touch your heart THEN MY FIST WILL"

10 seconds before shane pinned down your rabid raccoon-like farmer to the ground and called animal control

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i started this draft about 76 having trouble with starting tasks cuz projection is nice ✨ but now im too many words down and it's turning into a semi-vent fic??

i don't know how i'll end it cuz i don't even KNOW how my life will end

in other words, time to put 76 into more angst

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i gave in to the urge and drew how i imagined ghost and konig under their masks…this feels illegal somehow

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extra panel

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My first attempt at a little comic strip, have mercy ٩(｡•́‿•̀｡)۶ Ghost is very invested in his cookie jar.

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with new pictures of Hayden Christensen floating around I keep seeing people saying 'imagine if Anakin didn't turn bad, the biggest problem for Luke and Leia would be that their dad is a dilf and all their friends swoon over him when he comes to pick them up from school'

and yes of course that's valid because Anakin would absolutely be casually leaning against his modified speeder with sunglasses on dressed in black like a model but please imagine the twins getting horrified by their friends drooling over him and going "dad you're not allowed to show your face at school now, mom will come pick us up" but HAVE YOU SEEN RECENT PICTURES OF NATALIE PORTMAN?

the twins have zero ideas how hot their parents are, they're just their lame parents, they don't realise that their mom has the face of Natalie Portman and the second their friends see her they're like "your father is a dilf and your mother is a former queen and the nicest AND hottest milf in the galaxy?? you guys are so lucky"

Leia is traumatised and almost shaking, saying, "this is the worst. I can't believe our parents are...." She makes a horrible gagging sound. "...Hot."

"I know, I can't believe it either," Luke groans.

"Next time we'll ask Obi-Wan to come pick us up."

"Oh good idea! It's not like anyone would find old uncle Ben hot!"

"Yes, that's impossible," Leia replies, relieved.

"Impossible!" Luke laughs.

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found it, it's United by sciencefictioness

i have definitely mixed this up with another fic of the same vein and i have 0 ideas what the other fic is

Finding a fic where Jack Morrison does dubious things to get funds for Overwatch because politics

ao3's got 250+ pages of fics for soldier : 76 and im about ready to start reading every single r76 fic in my history to find this fic

it's about jack morrison as strike commander attending a meeting somewhere and gabriel reyes have already stopped attending said meetings

some things happen and gabriel find out what exactly jack was doing on those meetings

i think some random executive tried to invite gabriel to said meetings thinking that they were fighting and that gabriel hated jack and gabriel would like to join

this was definitely an nsfw fanfic. take that as you will

i dont remember any exact quotes so i cant search it

any help is appreciated!!

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Finding a fic where Jack Morrison does dubious things to get funds for Overwatch because politics

ao3's got 250+ pages of fics for soldier : 76 and im about ready to start reading every single r76 fic in my history to find this fic

it's about jack morrison as strike commander attending a meeting somewhere and gabriel reyes have already stopped attending said meetings

some things happen and gabriel find out what exactly jack was doing on those meetings

i think some random executive tried to invite gabriel to said meetings thinking that they were fighting and that gabriel hated jack and gabriel would like to join

this was definitely an nsfw fanfic. take that as you will

i dont remember any exact quotes so i cant search it

any help is appreciated!!

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Agent Twilight going soft ✨

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what do i want? dependent kakashi on feral obito in a time travel fic showcasing their badassery

when do i want it? whenever i get the mood to actually write the thing

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what are you doing here

shoo