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An Offering

I have finally started working on my first Sleep Token story. I hope you can find joy in it.

Worship.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/63529981

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Eep Oken

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So I often spend a lot of time dabbling into the fine art of crying uncontrollably over Music. For years these have mostly been selective songs, collected from various discographies from artists all over the World.

But Damn it holy fucking shit Sleep Token is not good for my poor tear ducts.

It started about two years ago, when I randomly overheard my then best friend talking to a friend about this song they just discovered, and how it "made them feel unholy things".

This song, was Jaws.

I didn't give much thought to it initially, but decided to check it out anyways. I was doing a lot of rp at the time, and while writing a 4000 word essay on a character stabbing another violently I had put on Jaws as background noise. Aaaand than the Chorus happened:

Show me those pretty white jaws

Show me where the delicate stops

Show me what you've lost

And why you're always taking it slow

Show me what wounds you've got show me love

So I don't know about you, but this didn't make me horny, it broke me. I am of the conviction that Trauma makes you get a perspective on life, that either elevates experiencing emotion, or completely destroys it. When I heard Vessel sing these words I straight up froze in my seat and stopped writing.

I just listened. For... An hour? The same song in a loop. To me this was a song about a person attempting to rebuild another from the trauma they experienced - most likely sexual. A song of a human being falling for the deep rooted scars left in the fragile minds of a stranger.

The person who is traumatized is coping with it in their own ways, the "eyes of a predator" not referring to lust, but the natural desire to protect oneself.

When vessel talks of "prey unattended" he is referring to the victim left behind by their abuser. But this lyrical Persona Vessel represents here is in no way a saviour in the sense of trying to heal their muse, it feels more like someone trying to capitalize on the trauma to further their own cause.

Now I do not claim that my interpretation of the song is right or better than another. But it is how I heard it, that day. That's what my ears picked up and my brain read into it.

And this... Hit. Like a truck. I was sucked into Sundowning and TPWBYT (with TMBTE not released yet) and didn't stop listening for many hours. I cried my eyes out multiple times, Atlantic, Alkaline, Bloodsport, Higher, Levitate, the Love you want. All of this was something i hadn't yet experienced.

Fast forward around half a year and its TMBTE time! The album released and my emotions were shattered by Chokehold and Are you really ok. I sobbed a bit, but I wasn't hit as hard as back when I first listened. And than, Ascencionism happened.

It broke me.

I was crying like I never had before, releasing more emotion than I thought I had in me. Another song that I instantly, deeply connected to my trauma. A hatred for my abuser I still find whenever I hear vessel scream:

You're gonna watch me ascend

A desire to payback, but most importantly the desire to disappear into nothingness. I was numb for the Title track. It was only when Euclid ended that I realised I had found the band that I would connect my mental health to all over again. Just like 2012 when I first discovered MCR and Fallout Boy. I was stumped and honestly... Happy.

Fast forward another year, I am writing this about a week after their show in Nürnberg. My second time there and I can inly say one thing.

I worship Sleep.

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This is my new song and It is actually physically taxing for me to listen to this. The piano part is Awake, Lena Raine - so if you got here from the Celeste community, hi, i'm just a transfem who loves the game and also the vibe of Awake. So i used it in a way as a slow transition into the actual thing. Maybe some of y'all like it or sth idk. anyway, i need to rest, i feel horrible after making this

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Dmitri Shostakovich's OP.102 2nd movement might genuinely be the most beautiful piece of music I have ever heard.

His style of writing intricate Piano melodies accompanied by a gorgeous orchestra is fascinating to me. The string section creates a vibrant field of flowers that the piano walks across like a person in a mood of pure melancholy. A sense of hope from the orchestra is accentuated by the sorrow of the piano. A perfect harmony of emotions that keep you close to tears for 6 minutes, dwelling in the past both sad and happy.

All in all, this, to me is perfection. I love Shostakovich so so much. Words can't do it justice. His entire work is so rich in feeling and emotion, like not many composers manage.

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so idk if anyone will read this, but since i am not the most social bee out there, but ig i'll just introduce myself.

hi! i'm luna, and i like using lowercase letters all the time. it's an aesthetic thing. but don't worry, if i write a story, i use proper spelling! i'll use this blog mainly as a way to find friends to rp with, and maybe post some of my worldbuilding thingies.

about myself, i am 20 years old, transfem and an avid fan of dogs. i like german food (i am german lol), tea and lots and lots of writing. i have been rp-ing for about 8 years, and would consider myself to be

Literate

(see what i did there?)

my favourite genres are classic fantasy, and alt history, usually a blend of the two! i do dabble in worldbuilding, so expect a lot of random world related thingies!

have a nice day :3

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