e-lectrix

[e-lectrix]

Today was super duper anxiety full. Couldn't seem to get a break. My horrible periodx12 made me anxious I was going to vomit. and I didn't get to eat because of the pain. However, I battled through the anxiety, LITERALLY GOT AWAY FROM THE LINE OF A PANIC ATTACK, and GUYS I KID YOU NOT, 3 HOURS LATER I HAD ENOUGH CONFIDENCE TO SIGN UP FOR SPEECH AND DEBATE CLUB! I'm in the register so YAY! I'm in Speech and Debate next year!

Actually pretty proud of myself :)

[e-lectrix]

Sorry I have not been posting! My stomach has been hurting really bad which... wow! Guess what? It's my period that comes once a year. The bloating is embarrassing and I've been throwing up constantly! So theres my explanation!

Update on life:

At my dad's yesterday his gf kept side eyeing me, and it was really awkward. Nothing much happened except I kinda binged on pizza and conchas. lol.

[e-lectrix]

Today is a bad weather day,

with a 93% chance I will puke or faint

and a 100% chance I am not missing school

I have a stomach bug because my habits lowered my immune system!

(I don't eat because I fear I'll puke it from anxiety!)

Didn't sleep all night because I was throwing up what I did eat!

Will update on precipitation and if I get sent home for puking/fainting

(I wish it was really raining)

[e-lectrix]

Last night when I was about to go to sleep, my sister kept looking/touching at my scars and I asked her "Why do you keep doing that?" and she replied "It's like you're a cool shark, and I like sharks"

I'm not crying you are

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Once I got too overstimulated I just yelled "no" and kinda just cried a bit. My sister is wonderful and gave me a super tight hug and put something weighted on me. My amazing mom gave me earplugs and explained to my grandma that i get too overwhelmed and the yelling was getting to me.

🫠 for the overstimulation part

❤️ for my wonderful family for knowing how to deal with it

[e-lectrix]

This car is so overstimulating. My grandma keeps yelling the speed limit and she just is loud in general. I'm on the way to help put together a party and everyone is freaking out and they keep asking me questions and I wish everyone would shut up and ignore me completely. I don't wanna be here. Sure, I got out of school for it, but it's way more stressful to stay the weekend at my aunts and help plan a party.

[e-lectrix]

This blog was PREVIOUSLY sponsored by Zoloft

[e-lectrix]

Why I'm having an online diary

1. I'm pretty sure my family is not on this app. Never have they mentioned it, and if they did, I'm sure they wouldn't be on this side of the app.

2. My dad used to read my diaries. My dad used to go through them and find the things he needed to fix, however since they're divorced and my phone's account is under my mom's account so my dad cannot look through it.

3. I still need advice, I know it's dumb to ask the internet, but I cannot afford a therapist and my mom doesn't trust psychiatrists so this is a last resort.

[e-lectrix]

By the way! My diary entries are best read with this playlist!

[e-lectrix]

Hi! I'm Trix, I have a very disoriented and disorganised life ! I've been through severe trauma and have mental disorders and issues, so my stories of my life are very interesting (I believe) My experiences/stories are good to read if you're looking for something to get fixated on.

(I ALSO JUST POST WHATEVER I WANT!)

Potential TW's for stories:

Abvse (dad)

Manipv|ation (idiot step mom)

Addicłions ($h, 3d, a|coh0|)

However i feel like it would be good for people to hear my story so they can understand the type of mind bending a child with addicted parents goes through.

I am a minor who goes through these things and cannot get out.

Be open minded when hearing these stories

Signing off, Trix

I tell stories with shock.

Link to the soundtrack for my entries ⬇️