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I'm reclaiming the words Birthday Boy when referring to trans men. Hell yeah, it's my fucking birthday. I'm eating cake, buying myself stuff, and after this, I'm gonna eat some ice cream. It's my birthday everyday now,. 🧁✨ Gonna go eat cake.

It isn't actually my birthday, I just felt the need to make that very clear.

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Snily headcanons! Touches and stuff.

The gender roles are completely reversed if that makes sense. Not like, traditionally, I just mean like. Okay, when you read a romance novel, do you ever notice how it's always the woman who's sad/dainty/etc, and the man saves her? Reverse that.

Both are completely crushed by guilt for one another. Severus called Lily a mudblood, which is something that genuinely haunts him. Lily laughed at Severus' worst memory, the one he wakes up gasping for air about.

There's no little spoon or big spoon, they just hug each other or hold hands.

Severus runs cold and Lily runs hot. Holding hands solves this issue.

When they first started spending nights together, when they woke up, Lily kissed his forehead. He went kinda still with a blush on his face. Lily does it every morning, the effect still hasn't worn off on Severus.

They paint each other's nails. Severus almost always picks black, but Lily picks a dark brown and black almost every time. Severus hasn't pieced together that the brown is for his eyes, and the black is because that's what he always wears.

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Can we as people just stop using sexual or overtly cruel comments when arguing over something on the Internet? I'm talking specifically about snaters and Snape lovers. I'm not going to make any names, purely because I don't feel like getting into too much drama or having someone like that come after me, but I will quote them.

Saying stuff like "The world doesn't revolve around your pussy," "Are you sure things are alright at home?" Or, "and that's why your dick is small," are all cruel and inappropriate. These are from two separate people, two from a Snape lover and one From a Snater.

I understand being upset, but online, these are never okay to say. These are sexual comments, whether you like it or not, or one of them is simply mean. Because truly, what if that person isn't okay at home? Or what if that person has trauma related to their body? What if they were assaulted, harassed, or struggled with their body image? That's mean. I don't care how childish that sounds, you're being mean. No one likes meanies, and if you do, you're also probably a meanie. Don't be a bully.

Regardless of what they say, there is a person behind the screen. Some things aren't meant for you. If someone likes James, then Snape lovers, that's not for you. If someone likes Severus, then Snaters, that's not for you. Use your filtering system, if you don't know how (like me), fucking scroll, don't be a bully because someone upset you.

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Severus who never had a soft touch. Severus, who lost Lily, and with that, the care he had experienced. Sirius, who's clingy in an endearing way, whose presence takes up a room. Sirius, who holds his hand constantly, who hugs him from behind, who combs his fingers through his hair or traces his face. Severus, who finally gets a gentle touch.

Severus, who never had someone to talk to about his interests. The death eaters listened, sure, but that evidently wasn't actually something they cared about, it was fake. Sirius, whose infatuated with every word Severus says, who listens to everything like it's the passage of life, like it's a beautiful symphony of tiny, perfect melodies, crafted from the hands of Greek Gods. Severus, who finally has someone to listen to him.

Severus, who always stifled his crying. Whether it be at home, lest he anger his father, or at school, who never knew if James, Sirius, or Remus hid in the shadows, deep within an invisibility cloak, who hunted him down for sport. Sirius, finally matured, who would singlehandedly move the constellations to take back what he did, to stop himself from saying that stupid nickname so maybe, just maybe Severus would come to him on his own. Sirius, who hears him every time. No matter how much Severus desperately wills his voice to silence himself, his emotions peer through the conversation cracks, shattering his façade. Sirius, who enters the room every time. Silence settles between the two, except for Severus' sniffles and Sirius' occasionally sighing. Sirius, who combs his hand through his hair, never pushes the matter. "I'm here if you want to talk." Severus finally removes the pillow, allowing his sensitivity to return. Severus, who finally has someone in his corner.

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HELP, why is my Tumblr FILLED with transandrophobes?? Like, why tf you calling me a birthday boy? I'm actually going to cry, tf? I keep seeing posts about calling me a birthday boy, making fun of trans men, and calling us egotistical narcissists who want everything to be about us??? Gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.

Also, they're making fun of us for calling it transandrophobia? That's literally just the etymology??✌️😔✨

Also, it's not my birthday. My birthday is in the winter.

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Om nom nom.

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Narcissa: Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Lucius: Because their arms are too shor—

Severus: Because they're all dead.

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"Wattpad is so cringe!" "No one uses Ff.net anymore!" I hope you know that you're a party pooper. I literally don't read on Ao3 out of spite, and yk what? People are a lot nicer and accepting of mistakes on Wattpad. Ff.net is nice because I know I won't have to filter out explicit content, because it's simply not allowed. If I see one more mother fucker shove their site down my throat again, I'm going to reach through your screen and punch you, party pooper.

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Every time I open this site your dialogue posts pops up and brightens my day.

Keep it up king 👑

Thanks. I don't really know how to respond to compliments, but I do appreciate it. 👍

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Severitus hcs #1

Harry talks in brain rot and Severus doesn't understand a lick of it. "Oh fr? Like, on Skibidi?" "Is that a new spell?"

Harry is a nailbiter. He picks at his skin, bites his nails, pulls his hair, it's just bad habits. Severus has a spray bottle on hand for these reasons.

Harry doesn't call Severus Dad because it feels wrong, James is his dad. Pa does the job fine, because well, he is his father, so it'd feel weird calling him by his name, sir, or anything else.

They are both riddled with insomnia. "Why are you awake, Potter? It's three in the morning." "I could ask you the same thing."

Harry will sleep on the floor sometimes. The bed he has is far too soft, he's not used to it. Severus picks him up by the scruff like a cat and drops him in the bed.

Severus became the Dad of Harry's friend group. He finds Ron and Hermione in random places. It's completely normal by now.

Harry's hair wasn't actually a mess, it was just wavy. "Why do you let your hair get in such a state? Why not simply take care of it?" "What do you mean?" And that's how Harry learned to take care of his hair.

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I hate it when people simplify something complex to make their point. Like, technically you're correct, but it's such an annoying tactic. "Oh, so you believe we came from monkeys?" Like, yes? But also, that sounds stupid. "Oh, so you just believe that there's a man in the sky judging us?" Well, yes, but you see how they're dumbing it down?

It's genuinely such a childish strategy, debate and talk like a normal person before I reach through my phone and throttle you. 🧍

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James: Man, fuck Severus! >:(

Sirius: Yeah, man!

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Sirius: Man! I did it!

James: Did what?

Sirius: I did what you said? Fucked Severus—

James: You WHAT—

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Snirius headcanons #14

Severus does the chores, well, most of them. Sirius will do a few, but Severus takes over the cleaning and cooking. He doesn't like feeling useless, something that Sirius has tried to shake out of him multiple times.

Before they started dating, Sirius was sickeningly down bad for Severus. It was genuinely embarrassing, it still is, although he'd never admit it.

Severus is a great cook, he makes potions, so it makes sense that he knows his way around the kitchen. Sirius has burned water, don't ask how it happened.

Sirius listens to those weird boy bands from the early 2000's. Not only that, but he listens to their love songs. He harasses Severus with their songs.

Severus is anemic, like not a little low on iron, this man has actually had to go to the hospital for fainting spells. Sirius has learned how to detect when he's gonna faint. "Hey do you— oh, you're gonna pass out." "I am not going to—" thump.

Severus needs to do something constantly, he needs to be productive or he goes stir crazy. He has a ton of little projects because of this, so Sirius has a bunch of trinkets. They slowly get more detailed and complicated. One of the things is a crochet duck, the other is a mini robot.

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Autistic!Severus x Sirius (who's constantly picking fights)

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Sirius: NO, DO YOU HAVE A FUCKING ISSUE? DO YOU HAVE A FUCKING—

Severus: Hey, I don't know if this is a bad time, but did you know that wizards used to dip their wands in olive oil before doing dark magic because they thought it would protect them. :)

Sirius: Oh, you're fine, that's very cool.

Random dude:...???

Severus: :)

--

Severus: SIRIUS, TURN THE LIGHT OFF UP STAIRS!

Sirius: WHY?

Severus: IT'S TOO LOUD!

Sirius: WE'RE LITERALLY SHOUTING!

Severus: YEAH, BUT THIS IS GOOD LOUD AND THAT'S BAD LOUD!

Sirius: ??

--

Someone: Uhm.. what is he doing?

Sirius: He's spinning, now—

Someone: But like, why? Isn't it kind of r—

Sirius: YOU KNOW WHAT, BRENDA? I DON'T RECALL ASKING—

Someone: My name's not Brenda—

Sirius: OH MY GOSH, BRENDA, NOT EVERYTHING—

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Listen, the whole Team cap vs Team Ironman can be settled very quickly. The accords mean that the countries executive power, I.E, president, king, queen, prime minister, etc, has SOME sort of power over the avengers.

Would you trust Trump to have some sort of power over Ironman? Or Putin to have power over Black widow? No? Exactly, bro. 😔✌️

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"Everyone will feel it." IRAN, WHAT DID I DO? IRAN, PLEASEEEEEE. IRAN, IRAN, CHILL, PLEASE, NOT ME, I'M JUST CHILLING.

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"Omg, you ship EVERY Snape ship? That's crazy, I could never—" 1. It's fun to put the letter SN before a name. Snemus. Snack. Snockhart. Snily. Snames.

2. Severus deserves to have someone hug and kiss him, cradle him and tell him everything's okay, even if he's gonna hiss like a cat. For once, let him be happy.