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Leave before you love me

Itachi x female reader/oc drabble. Non massacre AU.

Itachi wavers between duty and love. His lover knows him better.

For the first time in his life, he found something worth fighting for.

A weapon with feelings is no longer a weapon. But hadn't he sacrificed his entire life for the village?

He lied, killed and fought for it, even as it destroyed him, he followed all their decisions without complaint. He had always been a good son, a good leader, a good Shinobi.

She was the only choice he had made on his own.

...

He suddenly felt out of breath. He could hear was the horrendus beating of his heart, so strong yet fragile in the silence of their last night.

"You're not that kind of person, Itachi. With you, duty always comes first. And i respect you for that."

"But what if I said that I'd choose you?" he whispered. His voice wavered through the moonlight silence.

Her eyes never wavered from his.

"Then I'd tell you its a poor decision in the heat of the moment" she replied, carefully.

"What if I told you that I didn't care about everything else?"

"I'd tell you that the consequences will catch up to you one day"

"What if i told you im scared?"

"Then," she faltered, her eyes searching his imploringly, "I'd tell you it's best to leave before you fall in love"

...

'I already love you' he wanted to scream.

But he never did.

She would never know that he said it first. Invisible words kissed over her neck, traced down her skin, and murmured against her head. Lingering glances and longing touches. Invisible gestures, so small yet intimate.

She would heal eventually with the belief that their love was one sided. But he would carry the staggering burden of his unsaid words for the rest of his life.

So he left.

Who was he to blame after twisting the knife he had planted in his own heart?

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It’s strange to think that long before I had a name or a heartbeat, I existed in some shadowed, elemental way. Women are born with all the eggs they'll ever have, and these begin forming while they're still in the womb. So when my mother was just a fetus, the egg that would become me was already inside her. That means my grandmother carried not just my mother, but the beginning of me as well. For a fleeting moment, the three of use shared one body, and went through life together, layered like nesting dolls.

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Platonic love is dead

I love gay ships as much as any other ao3 addicted, delusional fanatic. But I feel like a lot of people are ignoring female canon characters and purposely misinterpreting dynamics just for the sake of having a male x male ship. Upon my inspection its either because:

a) authors are lowkey misogynistic/sexist and make female characters with the depth of a rain puddle. Thus making them harder to believe in.

or

b) Healthy, platonic relationships between two male characters are interpreted as something romantic solely because in our society, platonic love doesn't exist. or is very rare. So we find it hard to believe in.

A lot of people underestimate the power of true friendship. A lot of good fiction have a gang of people who go on an adventure with their friends. And some do fall in love with each other. but some don't. and they remain good friends who actually care about each other.

Two people who actually trust and stand by each other,

who pay attention to little quirks,

who understand them better than anyone,

who would come back, no matter what,

who share their secrets without backstabbing anyone,

Can it only be romantic love?

I know that its hard to find just friends like that in real life.

(Name one, true friend who would. If you can: congrats, you're blessed with the kind of everlasting friendship)

But does that mean it doesn't exist?

Maybe because we hardly can find platonic love in our society, people assume that only a romantic type of relationship can explain the character's actions.

I mean, romantic relationships can, and do fulfill the roles. But its not the only kind of love that exists.

So maybe let two men be good friends without kissing.

not all the time. But sometimes.

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Sirius was brave for leaving. Regulus was brave for staying.

Sirius fought against them from the outside. While Regulus fought discreetly from within.

Both brothers died fighting for the same cause.

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y’all ever fantasize about a fictional character a little too hard to the point you’re convinced you should be admitted to a mental hospital?

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[gripping the sink] perfectionism does not help me avoid embarrassment or shame. perfectionism is in itself a form of shame. when i struggle with perfectionism i struggle with shame. when i struggle with perfectionism i struggle with shame. when i struggle with perfectionism i struggle with shame

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Fanfiction is free therapy, except the therapist is making you suffer on purpose and you're thanking them in the comments.

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me, looking at my tbr fanfic list

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The character analysis I've been subjected to at school is definitely getting at me. I should be studying but I need to get this out of my drafts or I'll combust. Coriolanus only brought 3 items from his personal box on the way to meet Lucy Gray. "3 photos of family" "circle of his mothers powder" "his fathers compass" Only his father's compass survived. Theres a scene where he throws away the rest without any doubts or worries. Its a turning point of his character and brilliant foreshadowing of his future actions.

He ends up following his fathers footsteps to become a respected, cold (psychopathic if u will) and dedicated hero of the Capitol. He is following his fathers 'moral compass'. Get it? Crassus Snow is always described as being distant and somewhat cold (and a mystery) to Coriolanus. Coryo also looks a lot like his father? He probably becomes what his father would have become if he wasn't shot by the rebels.

By throwing away pictures of his family (probably his mother, Tigris and the grandmaam) it foreshadows his future actions. How he little he cares for his family. In the original Hunger Games trilogy, Tigris is cast out from his life. She literally went through so much to raise him basically on her own and he treats her like that?

His mother's compact, the rose powder, stood for everything he was at the start of the book. The kind person who Lucy Gray fell in love with. Who did everything in his power to help her win the games. The Coryo who would do anything to protect his family. Who tries to survive and live up to his family's name and legacy. A child who was constantly used for the benefit Capitol by the adults. Who was still unsure about the Capitols morals.

By throwing the powder away, he loses his (only) source of comfort and his last tie to being a 'child'. His innocence and his last connection to his 'soft-hearted' mother, whom he deemed too weak for this world, is severed through it. He basically loses all compassion and goes on to live with the Plinths. Whose son he literally betrayed and indirectly murdered without much shame or guilt. (not as much as he should have at least) Somewhere down the line he betrays Tigris too. Which brings back my point about him throwing the photos away. And not to mention how he's portrayed in the original trilogy.. (I haven't read the sunrise on the reaping yet)

Coriolanus Snow chooses to become who he is. He laid his own stepping stones to his future road of cold, dictatorship. He choose to follow his father's path of power and influence. He choose the Capitols morals and view over his family and everything else. He does that all on his own accord and doesn't look back. He doesn't have an indecisive thinking session where he feels bad about throwing them away. He doesn't think about sending the photos to repair or buying more rose powder from the black market or smth. He just chucks it away without any dilemma.

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when you don’t have anyone to talk to about your current hyperfixation and it’s the holidays so none of the 500+ fics you’re subscribed to are updating and you can’t bring yourself to focus on anything other than said hyperfixation so you’re just stuck in this state of “i want to do something” but can’t

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i do love listmaking…

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The Story of Tamara and the Demon

("Tamara and Demon" by Hungarian painter Mihály Zichy based on Lermontov's poem of the same name)

A tragic forbidden love story of a fallen angel, cast down from heaven and cursed to wander the earth forever, and a beautiful Georgian princess. Despite his cursed nature, the demon falls genuinely in love with the princess and seduces her. Tamara, the princess, is caught between fear and fascination, and struggles to resist his power. In the end, the demon kisses Tamara which inevitably ends her life. She is carried up to the heavens by the angels, finding peace, while the demon is left to wander the earth once more.

I just thought i'd share this random find online

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Late night thoughts

Maybe the reason I dream of tragic scenarios lies in my fervent desire to be loved.

To be loved most passionately and fully. To be loved in the way Im prepared to love them in return.

Maybe I envision and pretend to feel the pain of loss and heartbreak every night, to feel what I want their loss of me to feel like.

"You never realize how much you love until it is taken away from you"

I would feel this and much more.

The pain that I imagine you to feel at my loss makes a dark part of me feel wanted and loved.

After all, what is true love if not a weakness to exploit and the feeling of uncontrollable pain? After the short-lived happiness comes the unavoidable dread of their demise. I want it to haunt their every breath. To scare them of my loss. Not that I would let it happen.

The constricted, drowning feeling that would slowly rip your heart; that is the aftermath of love. The horrible truth of love only reveals itself after the end.

That is the feeling I pretend to feel. That I pretend that they will feel. If we ever even loved each other to that extent.

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"Empathy without boundaries is self destruction; do not allow your understanding to become an excuse, it will eat you whole"

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Dark soulmate au

(This is a random thought I had in my head while thought of sad scenarios.) There's a world where everyone has a soulmate. All the sins you make in your life will take years off of your soulmates life. So once you meet your soulmate, their lifeline will start to shorten depending on how much sins you have committed.

(So you start from 100 years. If your soulmate has committed a lot of sins you lifeline would go down to like 46 for example, when you meet them.)

There's a dark character A who's on evils side and has done many evil things

They somehow have a sunshine angel B from the good side as their soulmate

rivals to lovers/enemies to lovers/forced marriage trope

But A has committed a lot of sins. So from the moment they meet the B, B's life starts to shorten

and vice versa

but the B has lived a good life. So A's life doesn't shorten

at one point A starts to fall for B

A is hurting because they realize that all the sins that they made in the past is what is slowly killing their soulmate. They think that B must hate them for committing so much sins and killing them early

but because of some kind of situation they are in, A can only pretend to hate B

time flies, and B is prepared to face their early death

only on B's deathbed does A finally get the guts to confess their love. Only to see B smile "i know" If only we had more time/let me love you until the very end/maybe in another life/Im slowly killing you but it cant be helped/I love you no matter what/I dont deserve you.... kinda thing yk