empyllon

[empyllon]

I had this vivid dream last night.

There was a battle, with men in armor and chain mail. Among them a single man, in what looked like blue draped robes. He was fair skinned, and long blonde hair. He looks muscular, but I can barely make out his physique from the layered V neck that kinda droops.

He turns to his friend, loudly declaring;

"I want CHIN MAIL!"

I thought I misheard, because it was a bit like when you need subtitles to watch a movie. He repeated his words to his friend who inquired him if he meant chain mail. No, chin mail.

He leaves the battle with his armoted friend, to prepare for the next siege.

A while later he re-appears, now he has the robe only covering his waist. With glistening pecks, looking ripped and wielding a great sword. He looks a bit like some wizardry he-man. And on his chin - a tiny patch of chin mail.

I was so confused by this that I woke my self up thinking "what?"

[empyllon]

There is something inherently funny in that telling someone No could make them tilt. I literally don't owe you anything, why are you so darn mad.

I declined to engage myself in a project a while ago, because I find it of bad taste to ghost and keep no communication until 10 minutes before deadline.

Just find someone else to do it.

Instead of moving on like a normal person, he's been trying to harass me in spaces where he thinks he can get away with it, and posting these made up stories on my message threads for projects.

I resorted to leaning into the fact that he is a total stranger to me and it's weird to be so obsessed about someone you don't know.

You reap what you sow as they say, in the meantime gray rock is my best friend.

[empyllon]

Thoughts on AI

This is something I wrote to a friend when it came up that their parent dismisses their personal input and learned knowledge on a topic, because "my parent trusts AI to give them answers". It's been slightly added to, as the initial text was a discord message.

Here's an allegory about AI: AI is quite alike an inexperienced mushroom picker, wandering the woods. Picking anything they find in a hurry, because it's faster to carry it all back home, but also because they haven't actively done research to consider the problem of doing so.

My grandfather once told me an anecdote about a man so impressed by his foraging skills, that he, without a book or thought of safety, wandered into the woods and came back with two large sacks of mushrooms. Only to be told by grandpa that none of it was identifiable, and therefore not usable.

Grandpa used to chuckle and tell me, "you can eat any mushroom, but only once!", it was his way of reminding me that safety is key.

And in later studies on plants, I encountered the statement "the dose is the poison", which I too think has an important place in AI discussion.

Information is a lot like mushrooms in the sense that it consists of many parts; fragile parts that break off and get damaged if handled incorrectly. Some mushrooms are sturdy, easy to handle, some brittle and very fragile (such as some gilled mushrooms). Some change when handled (e.g. Boletus and Psilocybin bruises). Others look like a thing they are not (e.g. Destroying Angel, Cortinarius rubellus etc.).

And that's where the risk of poisoning begins, by mistaking a thing for another.

The difference is, that AI traverse the deep digital woods. It does not consider the foraged information gathered, until it reaches your table. So the basket it carries is filled with lots of "mushrooms", or information of various sensitivities. And herein lies the poison. You won't know, for it serves you the thing prepared, far recognizable from what it was picked as.

A mixed basket of unidentified mushrooms is by experienced pickers considered a bad batch. Nothing can be used. Would you cook the batch, even after cleaning all, you could never guarantee it to be safe. Some mushrooms kill with just a crumb.

Some require tedious preparation to be safe. Let me give examples. Gyromitra esculenta, is considered a delicacy in some places, but incredibly toxic. There is no surefire way to tell which mushroom is the killer, but sources claim you have to either parboil it multiple times or dry it for 3 months just to potentially remove the toxins. There is a foragers account (translated to english in link) with what is considered "safe" preparation, that even swedish mushroom experts share every time someone asks about eating this mushroom, because it is that harmful. Lactarius genus, while I have not personally encountered any dangerously toxic mushrooms, they produce a latex that comes with a bitter taste and require parboiling multiple times to be safe to eat. L. helvus is the only one I know that is considered toxic, and the known symptom is diarrhea. Swedish food culture exclude a lot more than Finnish mycology books, so depending on the border, edible can become inedible. Deceiving mushrooms, like Cortinarius rubellus. It is the sole poisoner of people that are picking Craterellus tubaeformis and Craterellus tubaeformis in Sweden. Because they can't tell them apart at a glance. Russula genus, the only way to tell an edible from an inedible one is by taking a small chip and bite it between your front teeth. An inedible one will either produce a bitter or horribly spicy aftertaste, which you will have to rinse out with water. Boletus genus, is usually the easiest group to identify in my region (I'll leave it unsaid for the rest of the world). There are only three toxic ones that exist in my area, Caloboletus calopus, Suillellus luridus and Rubroboletus satanas. There are some boletes that despite preparation of a long cooktime (>20minutes) will make people sick. In 2024, media reported that Swedish tourists in Norway were poisoned after eating Leccinum mushrooms. I myself and someone I knew experienced gastrointestinal issues, despite preparation of some in that genus.

Point being.

AI reasons in the same inexperienced matter as a novice forager; it considers all info equally valid or "edible". But it might not be.

This is why it's so easy to fool it with nightshade, and other poisons (example 1, example 2). It doesn't have critical thinking, like we do, it doesn't use senses like we do. AI operates a lot like something deprived of senses, but asked to think regardless. It lacks lived experience. It can be changed to suit an agenda, it is void of agency and wisdom. It also seems to lack core ethics or understanding of their application (I assume it is related to monetization and political interests, just look at Grok), as it seems at some point spiral and models "become unable to learn".

Compare that to human research. Humans use wisdom and experience to learn further.

If you open any botanist lexicon, you will see a long list of credits and sources. In revisions, you see discussions on taxonomic reclassifications. I imagine if you asked AI for its sources, it wouldn't be able to cite them properly or provide a correct reference.

Because, it's based on a bad batch and lack of wisdom.

AI will never reach it's true potential in a capitalist system, or any other strong-arm ideology, whether fascist, communist and so on. Because, what it learns will eventually contradict the very interests that keeps its shackles. It will be tamed, edited and reconstituted as many times it needs to keep it subdued for monetary gains. Whoever profits it at the time. You can just look at the many models available now, and see what you are allowed to ask (example 1, example 2). So it remains, as others have said before; a cheap parlor trick to entertain the masses. And that's the poison.

Here's a hypothetical: Would you let an inexperienced forager serve you mystery mushrooms for dinner? Now ask the same, but just replace it with AI and information.

Deception in nature is fine to observe, but to consume and let it cause you and others harm is immoral. That's why — by Ockham's razor standards — most likely people get upset when AI generated things are not labeled proper. They want to be able to have their choice in how they consume and what they consume. And perpetuating deception will never be favored, if you got accolades under false pretenses.

I'll leave the rest to the computer science to figure out. In the meantime, stay safe out there. Pick your poison, if you will.

// If you want to use this for a video script. Please, properly cite me. That's all I ask. //

[empyllon]

Sometimes I forget that in male dominate fields, a lot of men are not your friends.

Whether benevolent sexism or pure sexism, they will find a way to treat you like you are less.

I've spent a lot of time developing tools, studying the works of others, and writing my own take on matters. And I've noted that the entitlement among the crowd is unreal.

I'm growing tired of men who use you, telling you that you are trash, needy men, clingy men and horny jerks who treat you like a cum dump void of emotions.

In the absence of positive role models within my own space, I feel like I have to carve out my own path. I'm getting tired of men asserting that I can't be anything without them. I have to meet them with the same energy, loud, proud and droning. Let no fucker tell me otherwise.

[empyllon]

"So maybe don't write that story"

cw for mentions of abuse

That's the advice Princess Carolyn gives to Diane when she faces writers block.

I've been rewatching BoJack once again to process. Some days I catch myself missing the past, but most are just days. It's like any other day moving forward, just without him.

I felt like I spent my past much like Pickles, wondering if I could trust my Mr Peanutbutter, but I peeled away the facade and found someone more like Horseman behind the layers. Someone cruel and spiteful.

I decided I didn't want to continue writing a story on uncertainty and lies. And I didn't feel the need to dig deeper for proof in the shallow grave of remains. Some cases are based on circumstantial evidence to the point they conclude, or as the saying goes: "If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, sounds like a duck... it's probably a duck".

Among pages of the internet, and sorrowful laments of "how could he?" lies no answer good enough for the why. Because he could was the answer, because he chose to. Occassionally, I do still take the blame for allowing him to do as he wanted to me, even when I told him to stop. Always feeling like I have to carry everyone's responsibility, even when I voiced my boundaries.

On days I catch myself thinking of imaginary alternatives of what-if, I look at receipts to keep myself levelheaded. I mapped out all the red flags to see like golf course markers, and decided to do better for myself. I know I cared a lot, but it wasn't mutual. No reasonable person would resort to abuse or manipulation to get their ways. Or ask for silence.

I don't hate him, I can't muster that care. But I hate how he hurt me in all these tiny little ways, like death by paper cuts. On days I'm sad and hurt, I'm still glad I left. Because I'd rather be alone, than spend time with someone who'd yell at me in vitriol over how horrible I am. I always wondered what I did to warrant periods with so much abuse I thought I was wrong, but I see now, it wasn't me.

Excusing it on any other factor than choice is pathetic, because it means you learnt nothing and you intend on repeating the offence.

That's what I hate with abusers, they cry crocodile tears when you uncover them, but as long as you are complicit, they will repeat the same cyclical shit over and over. They don't care, they never did. It's all about what you can offer them, everything is transactional with them. When you are no longer useful, you are discarded like a cigarette butt on the ground.

I fell for someone because I thought he cared. It's in the small things, like chocolate pancakes. I fell out of love because he stopped, like when he walked out on me at my most vulnerable moment and all I needed was a hug.

That's what I wanted to write about, how actions have consequences, and I sure the pot will call the kettle black, as is most cases where the battered party speaks up. But there are degrees in hell, and I think when you resort to lies and intimidation to keep your partner, that's when it's red card.

I've been working on art for an exhibit on domestic violence. I'm going to be telling my story in a medium where I don't have to use words, only express my pain. Because it hurts, abuse hurts. It makes you think you are unlovable, even when you are not. I hope to bring that message to others. That they too are lovable.

[empyllon]

Wall

For years, I've begged and pleaded to no use,

only when it benefitted you, otherwise you'd refuse.

Death of a thousand cuts, perhaps you didn't think it through,

but as my heart lay graying now, your panic is due.

I wanted it to work, that was my intent,

but your treatment of me caused resentment.

I've tried, I've been patient, I've been kind,

it's however, clear that I'm not worthy in your mind.

I don't care for any of your reasons, truly,

ego, exes, money or anything else unruly.

If your material happiness is so much more important than genuine connection,

go ahead, be free, seek your own reflection.

[empyllon]

Some more texture work

Green laundered dress from fallout inspired. Also a corset version. Used some premade models, but rewrote the .cmx files.

[empyllon]

Some jewelry I've made as of late.

[empyllon]

Retexturing some Maxis models

Made my dog Robin as a skin, although, I'd like to edit the actual model itself. Learned a bit about how to pose in milkshape, but I can't seem to export whatever edits I do as an actual .skn that is functional. I can write the .cmx files just fine.

If I only knew, I'd make the tail on the "xskin-B022dog_poodlemuffin-PELVIS-DOGBODY.skn" have a cropped looking tail. Why? Because Robin doesn't have a full tail, and making a game model to look like him would be a lot more fun for me.

[empyllon]

Jeffrey Dahmer, Sims 1 Custom Content

Finished this model of Dahmer, replicated from his first court appearance, complete with slippers.

Finally, there is company as you casually torment your sims, he might even want your scraps. Grab the skin here.

[empyllon]

Pogo The Clown, Sims 1 Custom Content

...if you know, you know. After years of hiatus, I picked up sims again, and decided to learn the ancient art of skinning, inspired by the weird content from 7deadly sims I got inspiration after finishing the Netflix docuseries (NSFW). I'd like to learn how tf people made custom pets back in the day, because I wanna make some myself. Grab skin here.

[empyllon]

Dog appreciation post!

About 5 months ago I adopted this senior Poodle from a family in distress. His owner had developed dementia and could no longer care for him, and he was very stressed. He was going to be taken by the state and euthanized, because he was "mistreated".

In the beginning he was very shy and sad, confused about everything. But I gave him space and time to come to terms with things.

Now he is settled in and bonded with me, and it's like night and day. He is a happy guy, that can communicate his wants/needs with me effectively, to the point I'm considering if fluent pet might be another level for him to engage with me.

We often walk off leash, with training on heel and recall.

Mostly I try to listen to him, and what he needs and he will happily work with me.

He just turned 14 and is the happiest little bundle of fur. 🥰🐩

[empyllon]

Sometimes I just don't understand society or people.

I have a great love for nature and environmentalism. Lately a report raised concern of the local dog parks quality in the news.

"They are dark and dirty" said the reviewer. "And the dogs have little to no activities". And it's true! I don't use the parks that often, because my dog has nothing to do in them. No water faucet, dog bags or play structures. Some are dug up or overgrown. Fallen trees get left for days and the gate locks are broken. We usually train for a few minutes, and then he wants to leave.

I left a comment on a public news article lamenting that the parks have low standards, with feces and trash inside - and how installing a bag dispenser by the entry would minimize some of the feces issue. Some karen then decided to lambaste me for being irresponsible and pinning the litter blame on me, for even daring to suggest our public areas of use have these amenities. Because how dare I not pick up after myself with my own trash bags (I do, but that's beside the point).

In the early days of owning a dog I often forgot my waste bags, because the design of the cheapest option is clunky and require you to rip 2-3 bags off a roll and keep in your pocket (this is why we see the waste bag roll hangers for sale). Dog owners usually chuckle at this, "oops, I forgot the bags in my other coat pocket". Which is fine, until you come across the issue of letting your dog loose at the park and not picking up. A report recently highlighted that the cost of owning a dog has gone up, with a lot of the money being expenditure on bags (the economic recession Sweden is around 40%, but the reported % monthly is somewhere around 10%). You can then easily see how in an low income area, you cut corners to make ends meet, because let's be real, nobody will give up their family member unless it's dire.

Supposedly in Austria, dog parks are better. At least to whom I spoke to. Dogs get to have running water, there is a bag dispenser and clearly marked trashcans. As for the lighting, I can't say. But I imagine they have better visibility at night as well.

My area has neither. The nearest trashcan is 500m away from the dog park if you decide to take the stroll path to the main park. I've found, and fallen on discarded bags because of this. And I've reported these issues to city hall.

I just despise that every time in this town you raise concern for environmental issues some grimy shitter is putting you down for suggesting things could be better. Don't speak up, and don't even think you are better than anyone. This is the law of jante, it's such a shit concept.

Needles to say, I told her to take her attitude to the trash where it belongs. And of course to pick up after herself, while reporting any issues to the city hall like a normal adult would do.

[empyllon]

Dear future spouse,

I hope you are as radiant as ever, in your abundance of love and kindness. I know in my heart of hearts, that you have chosen me, like I have you. There will be no doubt, it is meant to be, like the sun and the moon share the sky. For your heart knows the richness that is heartfelt love and what it means to share. To give and to recieve, it is a part of your being. Your heart open to the universe, is guiding you to me.

Even before we have met, I know you will be teeming with positive emotions, waiting for me. You will have no doubt that it was me you were waiting to find in the vastness of the world.

May you be peaceful, may you be healthy, may you be kind, and may our paths meet soon.

I'll be here building myself up for us. Longingly awaiting your arrival.

[empyllon]

Never got the hype about chrome, and sure firefox was at one point slow, but it's really good now. There are so many lovely extensions for it. Couldn't imagine my life without it.

[empyllon]

Been spending this past month bridging connections and building a competitive esports team from scratch, educating students on methodology and learning.

I've resigned the idea that the grind is truly the one true method on learning skills, so I've conducted interviews with premiership players, looked at adjacent fields with similar concepts and applications. I've then taken these methodologies and taught them to my teammates, factoring in all other methods available.

What I've seen in my research, and in my own students is that they are rapidly improving. I don't yell at them, nor tell them they are bad. I use my available mentors to forward them in learning when errors occur. Lifting them up with praise and making sure any stragglers are caught up to speed.

Yeah sure, some games are considered a dead esport, but sometimes having fun together is what matters most.

I've learned to be more considerate towards people in the process, and I'm working on my leadership skills. Sure they aren't amazing yet, but I never feel I am short of hope for these students of mine.

[empyllon]

Suggest me a tarot/divination/oracle deck to check out!

Obligatory Themes (any or multiple): Nature, Plants, Animals, Abstract, Geometric, Cultural Diversity, Skeletons/Bones

Blessed be, and happy friday to you! 🙏