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I've truly been blessed by BTS this week. They've brought me so much happiness.

🥰

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Had a dream I got to see BTS preform live in a small venue, like a morning talk show, and they dropped they were going to premiere Dynamite for the first time, and everyone was like omg lit. But then something happened and they left and we weren't sure if they were going to perform. AND THEN music starts and they all come in one by one vibing out to their song which was a mashup of famous songs in America from a few decades ago.

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Looking for BTS friends.

Due to quarantine I've had the time to fall down the BTS rabbit hole during the past two months and am looking for some people to gush over them with. I love all the members, but I have it bad for jungkook and jimin, and would consider suga and jin bias wreckers. Please DM if you wanna chat about anything BTS!

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A Simple Analysis of the Differences Between FMA (2003) and FMA:B

I just spent the past week rewatching both Fullmetal Alchemist (2003) and Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, and I have THOUGHTS that I need to put out into the void to get over the emptiness I feel from finishing such a wonderful series. Thoughts surrounding the distinct story and theme differences in the endings of both series. Please, come along for the ride if you wish. Spoilers a-plenty ahead. 

To preface, I first watched the original Fullmetal Alchemist series about ten years ago, in either 2009 or 2010. I loved it. Everything was amazing, except, I was disappointed in the ending - which is really spawning this whole analysis. After I finished the series, and the movie to cap it off, I found Brotherhood on the streaming service I was using, and was rightly confused. FMA was one of my first introductions to anime, so I didn’t know much about the world of anime or manga. Because of this, I asked my older brother and he told me not to bother with Brotherhood. (Idk if his thoughts have changed regarding this). So, it wasn’t until, maybe four years later that I decided to give Brotherhood a chance. First, I saw a few random episodes on Adult Swim, and was confused that 1) Al could do alchemy without a circle, and 2) why the hell was Ed so tall? For the first confusion, I blame that on forgetting the lore of how the hand clapping alchemy plus the truth gate worked, and thought it was something special only Ed could do. Around this time, I realized that my school library had the FMA mangas, so I decided to start reading them, and was of course, enamored. Then, I think the library didn’t have all of the mangas, and somehow I had realized that the Brotherhood anime was basically identical to the manga, so I decided to pick up in the anime where I left off in the manga. 

I honestly don’t have much memory of watching FMA:B all those years ago. Maybe that’s because the last, what, 20 episodes is the finale, lol. But I do remember enjoying the ending, and wishing that I could pair the entirety of FMA with the ending of FMA:B. What I enjoyed so much about FMA was the serious, dark tone of it. At the time, I felt like FMA:B had a lighter, sillier tone to it, and I was pining for those depressing moments in FMA where Ed was losing his mind. What can I say? I like intense characters and shows. 

When I began my rewatch a week ago, I was reminded of just how dark FMA was. Of course, I still enjoyed it. I had a wonderful time reliving the show and rediscovering plot lines, and watching the boys do everything they can, but then I got to the last few episodes. To be clear, and for those who maybe haven’t watched FMA, the whole show is dark and depressing. There is very little hope. It is far more brutal and bloody, with the reality and trauma of war, even resulting in the r*pe of a beloved side character. Really, the writers just went off, which I think is evident by the story line of Tucker. The flipside of that, is that the darkness and trauma is toned down in FMA:B. It’s not as gory, and there’s more hope. Even the whole reconnecting the nerves thing that Ed goes through with his automail is far less painful. There is more comedy in FMA:B, but I realized in my rewatch that it is deserved and does not disrupt the tone and still allows for the show to be serious.

Don’t get me wrong, I love FMA for what it is. Like I said, I like intense characters, and I was waiting for those intense battle moments where Ed is scrappy and resourceful, and maybe on the verge of a mental breakdown. We get that in FMA:B too, but just not as much. During my rewatch, though, I realized how slow the pace of the show was, especially when you get to the second half. I’m sure we can discuss that this was because the anime started when there was just a few volumes out and the creator wanted the anime to take on a different story, which they certainly did, but it is slow. Especially when you compare it to the pace of Brotherhood. 

Now, my biggest qualm is the ending of FMA. It always has been, and here’s why: there is no internal change within Ed and Al. They end where they began. Writing and pace aside, the end of the FMA series has the boys alone. Loneliness is the one of the biggest differences between the two stories. Throughout FMA, the brothers are always keeping their mouths shut and just trying to stay on track with their mission. The adults, and Roy’s gang, try to step in, try to help and offer support, but the boys are still pretty hell bent on keeping it a family matter. And this gets into the “no hope” aspect to the tone of the show. After shit goes down in Liore and Al becomes the philosopher stone, he and Ed take off on their own. Sure, Roy’s gang stops them, and tries to help, but even then, Ed and Al still stubbornly keep their secrets. Perhaps this is because they truly feel there is very little hope. They know that the philosopher stone is made from human lives. They thought that they had saved Liore, when in reality, they contributed to how fucked up it got (which is a huge difference in FMA:B). Now, thousands of soldiers are dead, they’re fugitives, and Al himself is a philosopher stone. I can even argue that Ed is far more emotionally stoic in this series, which contributes to the tone. 

Sure, the boys do achieve some change when they encounter their mother-homunculus. They find acceptance with her death, but they are still alone. And mind you, at this point in the show, we’re winding down, yet these battles don’t feel intense and climatic. They’re somber. Sad. A big theme of FMA is “what does it mean to be human?” This is a big part of Lust’s character, and she does what she can to help the boys, and then fizzles into death, thinking about her human life and love. Sloth acknowledges that she could love Ed and Al, but she wants to kill them, and at the very end she accepts her death. Wrath, a lost child who wanted a mom because he felt abandoned, now loses his mother figure in Sloth, and loses his mind. He’s crying out about wanting his mother and wanting to bring her back (a foil for Ed? What? No way). The boys are separated, having felt loss once again.

Then, we get the final battle. I’ll gloss over the parallel world thing, but what we get, is the boys going into battle alone. Sure, Al didn’t have a choice, but Ed did. He is so caught up in his turmoil and his desperate need to save his brother from his mistakes. He can’t fathom bringing in anyone else, and the crazy part is that all the adults in his life let him go into battle alone. There is nuance to that, of course, it’s not so cut and dry, they all had shit to do, but still. Even with Hohenheim around, he offers very little to his sons, and also goes off into battle alone (which yes, is similar to FMA:B, but his decision kept the boys out of the loop, and fucked up everyone). 

And then, in the most anti-climatic moment, Ed dies. Envy shocks him with the reveal of his appearance (which I would call bullshit on), and he straight up dies. Not in a heroic way, just in a sad, he ran out of luck way (which is reflective of the serious tone of the series). And really, even with all of that, the boys basically luck their ways into saving the world. Once the villain is taken care of, Al does something out of desperation. He uses the philosopher stone, and sacrifices himself, to save his brother. What ensues is a cycle of toxic desperation and sacrifice. He uses the stone, which really, they both said they shouldn’t use because of the lives lost. What he does, is not accept the reality and finality of death, which if they were going to have an internal change by the end, it would be accepting that. But he doesn’t, so he brings Ed back. And then Ed, not respecting that his brother wanted to give himself up, decides to then sacrifice himself to bring Al back. What we see, is the same problem that they got into in the beginning. Their incapability to accept death and move one. They can’t even find a new way to bring their bodies or souls back, Ed does what he did when he was a child to sacrifice himself to bring Al back. And the sad thing is that Ed is completely calm during this. He knows what he is doing. And, it is sad. Even after that, when we learn of the new, younger Al, who doesn’t even have his memories of the past 3-4 years of him and his brother, states that he still wants to continue their mission. What we see, is that nothing was learned. Al is going on the same mission he started the series with. And sure, at the end of the movie that finished the series, they are back together, but they are alone in a different world without alchemy. And we, as the viewers, know that there is very little chance of them coming back to their home world. FMA ends, with the boys alone, still. 

Now, on the flipside of that we have FMA:B. Instead of the boys stubbornly refusing help until the very end, they let others in. They know that they need help. It’s why the finale is basically the last 20 episodes, because there are so many moving parts to save the day. And I’ll be real, when watching those final episodes, I did find myself wanting more of solo brother moments. I wanted to see more of Ed’s resourceful fighting, but because he had so many people on his side, he didn’t need to resort to that. And that truly is the point of FMA:B: having people on your side. Getting down to the last moments, what we have is 1) a far more epic battle, and 2) Al still sacrifices himself. BUT, this sacrifice feels justified. In the moment he decides to do so, he knows that Ed is about to die (emphasis: about), and that his soul seal is about to break. His sacrifice calls back to the other soldiers who sacrificed themselves to get in a mortal blow on the enemy. And Al uses logic with this. He realizes that if Ed gave up his arm for Al’s soul, then the reverse is true, and in that moment, Ed needs his arm in order to fight back. Al knows, that either he does nothing and they both die, or he sacrifices himself because he was going to die anyway and save his brother and everyone else. 

And Ed accepts this. He is angry and upset, of course, but he is able to stop the bad guy. And then we see his internal change. He is offered a philosopher stone to bring back Al. He says, no, of course not. His own father insists and offers himself because he is a philosopher stone. Again, no, of course not, this is our problem, we can’t sacrifice anyone else. So he thinks. He realizes everything he now has in his life, everything he gained, and decides to sacrifice something he really doesn’t need: his alchemy. If you think about it, the only reason he got so invested in using alchemy was out of lonely desperation to bring back his mother, and then to restore Al’s body. Why would he need alchemy when he has the support of so many loved ones and his brother? 

With FMA:B we get a satisfactory ending. Because the brothers are able to change and allow support from others, they are able to get back what they wanted. (I would assume that Ed probably didn’t care too much about getting his limbs back if it meant he got Al back, but hey, one out of two aint bad). Ed and Al are able to move on, and look brightly into their futures. Personally, I found that Ed being unable to use alchemy a bit of a bummer, but again, he recognizes that he doesn’t need it, and in the ending he reflects that the sacrifice was worth it, because it was. He got back his whole world and then some. 

What we have are two very different stories. I would argue FMA is a cautionary tale of loneliness and refusing help. FMA:B is the opposite. While both are enjoyable and intense and cinematic, that difference sticks with me. 

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Sleep paralysis, but all I saw was a dog.

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Dissociation, more like depressed astral projecting.

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So I had this dream where Mark was a star, I guess, on a hospital show, but his role in the hospital was to be a daytime DJ. It was this whole thing where he was in charge of playing music over the intercom of the hospital all day long, and everyone loved him for it. He played like smooth jazz or something. But Jack/Sean also worked in the hospital, but as the nighttime DJ, and because it was during the night, he didn't get as much recognition. This was all the focus of one episode I guess, as Mark realized that Sean wasn't being appreciated. Mark decided to give Sean his daytime slot, which Sean was super happy about, and then he put on death metal.

I should also note that they both wore scrubs and Sean had really long light brown hair.

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With the numerous flaws Umbrella Academy has at least Klaus as a character is its saving grace.

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So my boyfriend does things in his sleep. Not just the occasional mumbling, but making eye contact, looking under the blanket, and having conversations with you. I was not aware of this the first few times I shared a bed with him, so I was very confused when he would suddenly sit up, look at me, start kissing me, and then go back to sleep. Now that I know why he does these things, I think they’re hilarious, one incident in particular.

I woke up one night and rolled over to face him and he was looking at me and asked “Where do you want me to go?” in an accusatory tone. I was still half asleep and had no idea what was going on and said “I just needed to roll over” to which he responded “Sure” in a tone that suggested he didn’t believe me.

Then he sat up and moved to sit at the foot of the bed. I was still half asleep and confused and asked him what he was doing and kept saying, “No, you’re fine, come back.” He then lay down with his head at the foot of the bed and I asked him what he was doing again he simply replied, “Ghosts.” 

“Ghosts?” I responded.

And he asked, “Ghosts?” equally confused.

It was at this moment that I realized he was asleep. I asked him to come back, as he was now lying with his head next to my feet, but he simply replied with “I’m here now.” I accepted this and went back to sleep. 

We’ve decided he probably gets possessed in his sleep and that’s why he does these things. Funny enough, when he woke up that morning, still lying the wrong way, he didn’t think anything strange about why he was like that until I told him what happened. 

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A post shared by Mary, Secret, & Promise (@my_aussie_gal)

Sledding is one of Mary’s favorite activities, she probably went down this hill 50 times today. - My_Aussie_Gal

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What’s up everybody this is the mood for November

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What are you supposed to do? Like in general?

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I dreamt that i was reading a post that said: As much as I want to love Howie Mammoth, I can't because I know that Howie Mandel is fully responsible for his comedy in the ice age movies. Howie Mammoth can be first seen in Ice Age: The Space Odyssey (2013).

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Hear me out

The song "What's Going On" but the lyrics are now "hell yeah, hell yeah, that's super tight."

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Whats really funny is that when i first watched the darkiplier vs antisepticeye video my computer legit glitched when anti showed up and i had to close everything.

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Good news:

I saw a dog today.

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Useless Things I Know About Scooby-Doo: The Original Series That Are Actually Canon:

1. Shaggy Rogers is a vegetarian

2: Shaggy was called “Buzz” until his 10th birthday

3: Shaggy has a collection of 653 decorator belt buckles and he wears a different buckle every episode, you just can’t see it

4: Shaggy started collecting belt buckles to combat his Scooby-Snack addiction related weight problems

5: Shaggy’s actual name is Norville

6: Shaggy found the Mystery Machine

7: Shaggy is a talented gymnast

8: Daphne wanted to be a supermodel or detective when she grew up

9: Daphne gets straight A’s in school

10: Daphne regularly loses dates because she leaves them to solve mysteries

11: Daphne’s Dad, George Blake, gave the gang a 100 dollar check to get started 

12: Velma came up with the phrase “Jinkes” on the fly

13: Velma used to say “oh my” before she said Jinkes

14: Velma’s has hundreds of awards for outstanding achievements in school

15: Fred is a bass and sings from the opera Showboat when the team gets scared

16: Fred’s nickname is “Pickles” according to his school yearbook

17: Fred traveled with a performance crew as an actor before deciding to be a detective

18: Fred wants to be a mystery writer

19: Scooby’s full name is Scoobert Doo

20: Scooby Doo has a limited number of phrases he can say and has to act out anything that can’t be explained simply

21: The gang thought Scooby’s speaking was strange at first, but decided it “really wasn’t a big deal”

22: Before they had the Mystery Machine the gang used to pay their parents gas money to drive them around

BONUS: The series was supposed to be about a band who went around solving mysteries, but that completely changed when Scooby-Doo got added to the cast and became the title character