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fireworkscore · 3 months ago

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✨️| assclass live action 2015

I finished the first live action a month ago but I rewatched it. My thoughts and a bit of detail for the ending scenes!

SPOILER ALERT ⚠️

So the concept is obviously the same, Korosensei teaching Class E blah blah blah. But smth I realized is that from the app I watched his name is "Korosensei" while people on the internet protested as to why was his name "UT", and even in the trailers I saw it as UT which stands for Unkillable Teacher. (I was so disappointed)

I didnt get to hear what the students actually call him, I watched it on mute because my house is quiet and I didn't want anyone to hear ToT

The actors didn't suit, people say. And they complained on why did they need to change the hair color to be more 'realistic', I'm on neither side on this one, bcuz i think both will be cool! (Karma's hair will be red on the second movie, but not on this one)

You can definitely recognize some of them only from this picture. Okajima, Nakamura and Okuda for me, its so obvious. Something that kind of upsets me is that Nagisa didn't look like a girl and he wasn't short.

The script removed some major character arcs too, including the baseball tournament; and apparently they also have a movie-exclusive character, Ayaka (i think? I forgot) from Class D that was previously either Nagisa Shiota's friend or love interest, she left for another man after Nagisa went to E-Class.

They didn't remove the Assassination camp, which I'm glad of, but instead of peeking to the bathroom where Korosensei was supposedly bathing in, they peeked to the girls bathroom which got caught. Nagisa, who was dragged into it, couldn't run as fast as the others and covered his face, saying that he's definitely Kaede Kayano and not Nagisa.

Akira Takaoka came and nothing was different from it I think.

I think the major changes happened in the end and for the transfer students:

On Karma's day he didn't do as much as he did in the manga and anime, and that's all I can say 🫠 (maybe he was closer to Nagisa? I think so) his iconic jump-of-a-cliff scene is still there tho!

On Ritsu's days, after she got the upgrade from Korosensei, she wasn't 'fixed' again by the government, she was left that way and had the full-body screen till the end.

On Itona's FIRST day it was basically the same, though he entered from the ceiling instead of the wall. He also didn't eat sweets and read magazines. That was his first day, he didn't have a second day in the river when they all swam (those scenes weren't on the script)

Something I just had to search up after seeing Itona in the live action was how old was the actor when he played Itona, because he looked SO young. Turns out (after counting from his birth year) Seishiro Kato, Itona's actor, was 14 in 2015, almost Itona's real age. But because the other actors were around 20, the height difference is crazy.

That is a scene from (almost) the ending by the way.

I feel the need to tell every near-ending scenes with the details, they're the major differences with the anime/manga and I need to yap 😓

Yes, Itona made a second appearance along with Akira Takaoka's revenge, siding with him, which is movie-exclusive. On the finals, after trying to kill Korosensei but failed, it was supposed to be on the island, but in the movie it's in front of the E-Class building. If I'm not wrong there are 6 people who got a perfect score in one subject for final term, but I think the anime had 7? At first they only thought there were three, but the Terasaka gang boys revealed that they got a perfect score on Home EC.

When Korosensei became his ultimate defense form the students were giving up because Korosensei said even if they lock him in a room with anti-sensei materials for 24 hours until he changed back he would just explode along with everything around him; and before they could go anywhere after hearing that Yukiko Kanzaki fell out of high fever, along with a few of the others.

Takaoka burst through to the yard with his monster truck, and mocked them. He said that he became a joke to the Defense Ministry and it itched him when he remembered his fight with Nagisa every night. Takaoka threatened that he will destroy the antidotes if Nagisa didn't give him Korosensei. Realizing that the lives of the kids were in danger, Karasuma approached Nagisa who was holding Korosensei as he was about to give him to Takaoka. But he was stopped by Korosensei who said the negotiation seemed off.

Takaoka couldn't wait any longer, he was mad and tentacles were showed from behind him, it was Itona who was on his truck, siding with Takaoka. He was about to hit Nagisa but the attack hit Karasuma instead who protected him.

Soon Karma pulled Nagisa away as they flee, they reached some sort of transmission tower and climbed it through a ladder. Itona broke the ladder in between Karma and Nagisa, which left Nagisa hanging below him. Nagisa threw Korosensei for Karma to catch.

Karma and Itona fought for the next few minutes on the transmission tower platform, which resulted in Karma being cornered. He said he surrendered but he shot a look at Nagisa to say that he had a plan, while looking upward to the sky that was getting dark. *¹

Before Itona could take Korosensei Karma threw him for Nagisa to catch, and before Itona could attack Nagisa, lightning struck and rain began to brew, the tentacles' fatal weakness.

OKAY SO this scene left me jumping around the room, throwing pillows, and made my mom check on me and I said I saw a bug. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH.

Itona's tentacles were down, Nagisa approached him and hugged him. ASJAJHSDAUBDUWBDIANSJDJWJA

I cant get a clear picture because it was raining and the vid quality is 350p 😢 but thats Nagisa, holding Korosensei, and Itona

I could tell that Itona was surprised by the way he looked up at Nagisa (if only its canon height it would've been looked downwards). Then Nagisa cut off Itona's tentacles with an anti-sensei knife, and Itona fell on the platform, leaving him sat down.

Korosensei suggested the boy to join class, which he didn't answer. Nagisa got a message from Ritsu saying that their friends were in danger.

The next scene was Nagisa facing Takaoka in the yard, but seeing that Kaede was tied and threatened to be suffocated, he decided it was better off to surrender, like Karma did. But he had a trick.

He pretended to be vulnerable and bowed low, which was pleasing for Takaoka's ego, but when Takaoka kicked Nagisa's head with his feet Nagisa only laughed. When I turned the volume on apparently there was a small sound, Nagisa's phone ringtone, the same one from the transmission tower scene, showing that his friends were watching and had his back.

Okay so, this part also made me laugh (in relief). Nagisa gave Takaoka the bag he was holding, supposedly with Korosensei inside, but when he opened it there was only a basketball.

Takaoka turned around to face Nagisa, only to see the whole class all healthy again. Manami Okuda had made the REAL antidote.

It was cut to the next scene, Bitvh-sensei was shooting some sort of...small cementballs at Takaoka's subordinates, Takaoka himself was half buried in a cement and was played with. (I saw someone putting a dirty sock in front of his face)

Not yet the ending! Because Korosensei was taken by the government to be put in a locked place that would bury him and explode, it was almost guaranteed to succeed. Korosensei gave his last words to E-Class and all of them cried (even Karasuma that was a bit sad) i was so confused, like, i thought Korosensei was indeed going to die, but it wasn’t season 2 yet.

But after it exploded, Korosensei appeared behind them laughing, saying that his ultimate defense form exploded along with everything around it, saving him in Mach 20 speed. They all laughed (with tears) including Bitvh-sensei and Karasuma-sensei while the whole government team ran away in chaos.

Class E continued to be Assassination Classroom in the second term, and here is one question for all of you who read this and have seen the live action. This movie is part 1, season 1, right? And it was in 2015 which means season 2 hadn't been released. But Itona had joined classes and there was a few frames with a glimpse of Kaede's tentacles. Even Shiro said this.

Its probably from the manga, but its not on season one which means they're...spoilers for the people watching in 2015.

Gakushuu Asano and the gang didn't appear on the first live action (and I forgor if they even appear in the second one) although they had such an important character arc.

*¹ I just realized when writing the Karma vs. Itona scene on the tower, but I think its a tiny bit reference to (or at least reminded me of) chapter 161 in the manga, that wasn't in the anime. It was a chapter with mainly Karma and Itona's small arc where they figured they didn't need to act all tough everytime. On the first panels Itona took his words (from his first day) back, the one where he said he was stronger than Karma, finally admitting that he's fine not being strong; and Karma who surrendered to a gang of bullies, realizing that it was no use and there's no chance for him against them AT THE TIME, which was surprising considering his ego 🥲 in the live action, Karma surrendered to Itona (at least he acted like it) and Itona didn't fight when Nagisa hugged him.

I didnt add every detail and mainly the ending I'm rlly sorry 🫠 there are a lot of websites you can watch it in, like Bstation but I suggest the app.

Did I seem giving special treatment to a character here? Maybe because its in the ending? Sorry if yes 😭

Anyways! I wrote this instead of studyin for exam so thankii if y'all read this far! ��─★ ˙🧷 ̟ !!

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fireworkscore · 4 months ago

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Terasaka Gang Incorrect Quotes

I’ve always loved this Anime so much, I recently watched it again and thought I’d make this with my favorite part of the whole show - the gang of my favorite boy in the whole show. Enjoy this collection of chaos xD

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Terasaka: Nothing in life is free. Muramatsu: Love is free! Yoshida: Adventure is free. Hazama: Knowledge is free. Itona: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

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Terasaka: Bye Muramatsu! Bye Yoshida! Bye Hazama! Bye Itona! Bye Muramatsu! Yoshida: You said ‘bye Muramatsu’ twice. Terasaka: I like Muramatsu.

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Terasaka: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife? Muramatsu: Rude. Yoshida: That’s fair. Hazama: Not again. Itona: Are you going to want this back?

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Itona: What does ‘take out’ mean? Muramatsu: Food. Yoshida: Dating Hazama: Murder Terasaka: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU’RE NOT A COWARD.

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Terasaka: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me? Muramatsu: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it. Terasaka: Three of us saw it, Muramatsu. How do you explain that? Muramatsu: *points at Yoshida* Sleep deprivation. *points at Hazama* Paranoia. *points at Itona* Delusional personality disorder.

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Terasaka: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff. Muramatsu: I witnessed the dumb stuff. Yoshida: I recorded the dumb stuff. Itona: I joined in on the dumb stuff. Hazama: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!

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Terasaka: Where’s Muramatsu, Yoshida, and Hazama? Itona: They’re playing hide and seek. Terasaka: Where? Itona: I don’t think you get how this game works.

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Terasaka: I’m an idiot. Muramatsu: Yoshida: Hazama: Itona: Terasaka: Muramatsu: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.

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Terasaka: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything? Muramatsu: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies Itona: Socks are Feetie Heaties Yoshida: Forks are Stabby Grabbies Muramatsu: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties Itona: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies Yoshida: Stamps are Lickie Stickies Hazama, annoyed: You are disappointments

——-

Terasaka: What’s something you guys are better than Muramatsu at? Yoshida: Mario Kart. Hazama: Yeah, video games. Itona: Emotional vulnerability.

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Terasaka: Raisins. It’s nature’s candy.

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Hazama: I’m going to be an adult in 4 years and I only have a vague idea of what I’m going to do. Muramatsu: I’m gonna be an adult in less than a year and I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. Terasaka: I’m with you there… Yoshida: I’m an adult and I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. Itona: Three types of people.

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Hazama: Look guys, I need help. Terasaka: Love help? Muramatsu: Financial help? Yoshida: Emotional help? Itona: Help moving a body? *Everybody looks at Itona* Itona: What?

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Muramatsu: Are we really going to keep Itona? Terasaka: We kept Hazama

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Terasaka: You’re a lying piece of shit! Yoshida: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Muramatsu: I’m leaving and I’m taking Hazama with me! Itona, gathering cards: Aaaaand that’s enough Monopoly for today.

——-

Hazama: I swear to god I’m the only one here with a braincell. Terasaka, Yoshida, Itona, and Muramatsu: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

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Terasaka: So oxygen went on a date with potassium, it went… OK. Yoshida: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium, OMG. Terasaka: Actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like NO. Itona: I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins. Muramatsu: Looks like someone’s a HO. Yoshida: NaBrO. Hazama: I’m done with all of you.

——-

Hazama: What did you guys get in your yearbook? Muramatsu: 'Prettiest Smile’ Yoshida: 'Nicest Personality’ Terasaka: 'Most likely to start a bar fight’ Itona: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one’

——-

Terasaka: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Muramatsu: Several traffic violations. Yoshida: Three counts of resisting arrest. Hazama: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Itona: Also, that’s not our car.

——-

Terasaka: That’s it, we’re gonna go out and find what we need! Hazama: To the city? Terasaka: Yeah, no matter what! Itona: Well- How exactly do you propose we do that, exactly? Terasaka: I… I don’t know! Muramatsu: Oh come off it, be serious! Terasaka: I am serious! Muramatsu: You're insane! Yoshida: Why, if only we were all wiener dogs, our problems would be solved! Everyone: Terasaka: What??? Yoshida: Or maybe it was a basset hound! Muramatsu, panicked: YOU'RE ALL INSANE!

——-

Yoshida: Good morning. Muramatsu: Good morning. Itona: Good morning. Hazama: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit. Terasaka: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

——-

Terasaka, trying to convince Itona to join the group: You know… I thought it’d be good to have someone come along who’s really… strong! Muramatsu: And loud! Yoshida: And grumpy! Hazama: And oblivious to reality! Itona:

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Terasaka: You know what I learned from my friendship with Hazama? Yoshida: There’s no such thing as too mean? Itona: Never let your friends know for sure if you like them? Muramatsu: Always hold a grudge?

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Yoshida: Why aren’t there friend pick up lines? Pick up lines to make friends like- Yoshida, to Muramatsu: Hey, that’s a cute outfit. You know where it would look better? On nobody else, because you’re a beautiful individual. Terasaka, to Itona: Be my friend or I’ll set your entire family on fire. Hazama: There are two types of people.

——-

Terasaka: Uh, Muramatsu? Itona is in the pool and I don’t think he’s waterproof. Muramatsu: What? Hazama: I think he meant, Itona is drowning. Muramatsu: WHAT?! *Meanwhile* Itona: *is drowning* Yoshida: OH MY GOD, ITONA! KEEP SWIMMING! Itona: I can’t swim, dumbass— *sinks* Yoshida: ITONA!

——-

Hazama: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends. Itona: … Your what? Hazama: My friends. Yoshida: Is she saying “friends”? Muramatsu: I think she’s being sarcastic. Terasaka: No, no, no, this is delirium, she’s cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Hazama! All of your friends are in this room.

——-

Terasaka: Anyone d- Hazama: Depressed? Muramatsu: Drained? Yoshida: Dumb? Itona: Disliked? Terasaka: -done with their work… what is wrong with you people…

——-

*the squad is at a dinner party but someone has been murdered* Itona: You’re acting pretty carefree for someone who’s life’s at stake. Who’s to say you aren’t the killer? Hazama: It’s a murder, not a tax audit. I’ll be fine. Terasaka: What about Yoshida? Nobody ever suspects Yoshida! Yoshida: Well what about Muramatsu? He has a gun! Muramatsu: Itona has a knife. Itona: Yeah, for fun, not for murder! *stabs Terasaka in the arm*

——-

Yoshida: Are oranges named orange because oranges are orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange? Muramatsu: Which came first, the orange or the orange? Itona: Orange was first used to refer the fruit 1280 years ago but was not used as a color until 1000 years ago. Hazama: What was the color called before then? Terasaka: There was no color, duh! Everything was black and white!

——-

Itona: Terasaka is late again. Muramatsu: How did this happen? I called him at 8 o’clock this morning and pretended it was 11. Yoshida: I printed up a fake schedule for him saying we were starting at 9 instead of noon. Hazama: I set his clock to say PM when it’s really AM. Itona: Oh boy. We may have overdone it. *Terasaka bursts through the door* Terasaka: WHAT TIME IS IT?

——-

Itona: How do you connect with a fictional character? Yoshida: What? Terasaka: What? Muramatsu: What? Hazama: *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I’m glad you asked.

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*The gang’s thoughts on stabbing* Yoshida: Would never stab anyone. Muramatsu: Would stab someone in retaliation. Terasaka: Yells “I won’t hesitate, bitch!” first. Hazama: Would stab without warning. Itona: Would stab as a warning.

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Hazama: Where’s Terasaka? Yoshida: Doing stuff. Hazama: I don’t like the sound of that. Where’s Muramatsu? Yoshida: Trying to stop Terasaka from doing the stuff. Hazama: And Itona? Yoshida: Trying to stop Muramatsu from stopping Terasaka from doing the stuff. Hazama: I see. And what are you doing here, Yoshida? Yoshida: I’m supposed to stop you from stopping Itona from stopping Muramatsu from stopping Terasaka from doing the stuff.

——-

Terasaka: I give up. I am so tired. Muramatsu: Get the emergency supply! Yoshida: *carries Hazama and places her in front of Terasaka* Hazama: *smiles* Terasaka: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

——-

Itona: Is stabbing someone immoral? Muramatsu: Not if they consent to it. Hazama: Depends on who your stabbing. Terasaka: YES??!!?

——-

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle. Terasaka, with Yoshida and Hazama behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?! Police: Yes…three. Terasaka: Oh, my God— What the fuck!? Police: Wha- Terasaka: Muramatsu FUCKING FELL OFF!

——-

Hazama, watching Terasaka & Yoshida panic : What’s going on? Muramatsu: Terasaka is having a midlife crisis and Yoshida is just having a crisis.

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Muramatsu: I’m so happy two of my favorite people are getting along now. Yoshida: Uh, Terasaka and Hazama are not getting along. Muramatsu: They’re not trying to kill each other. Yoshida: You may have a point.

——-

Muramatsu: I truly believe that water can solve all your problems. Yoshida: Weight loss? Drink water. Terasaka: Clear skin? Drink water. Hazama: Want to get rid of someone? Drown them.

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Hazama: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective? Muramatsu: *crouches down* Yoshida: *kneels down* Terasaka: *sits on the floor* Hazama: Hazama: I hate all of you.

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Terasaka: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute. Muramatsu: No, that’s not how you make cookies. Itona: FLOOR IT!! Terasaka: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!? Muramatsu: yOU’RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN- Terasaka: I’M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES! Yoshida: DO IT! Muramatsu: NO-

——-

Yoshida: My stomach growled super loud in French. Yoshida: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class. Muramatsu: Bonjour. Terasaka: Le growl. Hazama: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.

——-

Yoshida: We might have gotten into a bar room brawl back in the city. Hazama: Well, that was entirely predictable. Yoshida: One of them punched a gang member. Hazama:Terasaka? Yoshida: Itona, actually. Hazama: Oh, that was going to be my second guess.

——-

*The gang when they drop food on the floor* Yoshida: Aw man. *Throws it away* Terasaka: Five second rule! Hazama: Foolish germs, thinking they can stop me!? *Eats it off the floor* Muramatsu: *Sobs on the floor*

——-

Hazama: What if people had food names and food had people names? Terasaka: Hey, spaghetti, we’re having Hazama for dinner. Yoshida: What is wrong with you people? Muramatsu: Shut up, chocolate.

——-

Muramatsu: Oh god, she texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Terasaka. She’s mad at you. Terasaka: No, it’s Hazama. She’s just being gramatically correct! *meanwhile* Hazama: And then I used a period so he’d know that I’m mad at him. Yoshida: A period doesn’t say 'I’m mad’, it says 'you’re dead to me’. Hazama: I stand by my choice.

——-

Sugino: You deserve a reward for putting up with me. Kanzaki: You are my reward. *meanwhile* Hazama: You deserve a reward for putting up with me. Terasaka: True, you can be really difficult at times.

——-

Yoshida: What’s up with Terasaka? He’s been laying on the floor for like….an hour now? Muramatsu: He’s just a little overwhelmed. Yoshida: Why? Muramatsu: Hazama smiled at him.

——-

Terasaka: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do? Muramatsu: Have everyone stand. Yoshida: Bring three more chairs! Hazama: The most important ones can sit down. Itona: Kill three.

——-

Terasaka: Yo is Hazama sleeping or dead? Muramatsu: Hopefully dead, I hated her guts. Yoshida: Yeah, so did I. Hazama: Okay first of all, fuck you-

——-

Terasaka: How did none of you hear what I just said? Muramatsu: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Yoshida: I got distracted about halfway through. Hazama: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

——-

Terasaka: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos. Muramatsu: That’s the most hopeful thing I’ve ever heard. Yoshida: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos? Hazama: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.

——-

Terasaka, about Itona: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group. Yoshida: Are we stealing them? Hazama: New or used? Terasaka: Wonderful responses, both of you.

——-

Terasaka: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys. Muramatsu: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap! Yoshida: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!! Hazama: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting. Terasaka: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

——-

Terasaka: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling? Muramatsu: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Yoshida? Yoshida: Probably “road work ahead”. Hazama: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

——-

Terasaka: Everyone, synchronize your watches. Muramatsu: I don’t know how to do that. Yoshida: I don’t wear a watch. Hazama: Time is a construct.

——-

Terasaka, setting down a card: Ace of spades Muramatsu, pulling out an Uno card: +4 Yoshida, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you Hazama, trembling: What are we playing

——-

Terasaka: I think we’re missing something. Muramatsu: Teamwork? Yoshida: Cohesion? Hazama: A general sense of what we’re doing?

——-

Hazama: You’re just being paranoid. Again. Terasaka: When have I been paranoid? Hazama: Um, when you first met Yoshida you thought he was an undercover cop…? Terasaka: No one has a wart that big, I thought it was a surveillance camera! Hazama: And last year you were sure Muramatsu was a mermaid! Terasaka: He hates wearing shirts! COINCIDENCE?! *Later, when Terasaka’s theory is proven wrong* Hazama: Do you have anything to say for yourself? Terasaka: I still think Muramatsu is a mermaid.

——-

Hazama: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out. Muramatsu: Fucking Terasaka and Yoshida were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn’t get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

——-

Terasaka: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE! Terasaka: *aggressively throws water bottles* Muramatsu: Uh… what’s up with him? Hazama: He’s trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us. Terasaka: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU! Yoshida, crying: It’s working.

——-

Yoshida: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything? Terasaka: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital. Yoshida: That wasn’t an ambulance, I drove you. Terasaka: But I heard a siren. Hazama: That was Muramatsu. Muramatsu: Sorry, I got nervous.

——-

Terasaka: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel. Muramatsu: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel. Yoshida: A realist sees a freight train. Hazama: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

——-

Yoshida, teaching Muramatsu to drive: Okay, you’re driving and Hazama and Terasaka walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit? Muramatsu: Oh, definitely Terasaka. I could never hurt Hazama. Yoshida, massaging their temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

——-

Yoshida: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong? Terasaka: Strong. Muramatsu: Weak. Hazama: An idiot, is what your are.

——-

Hazama: Sometimes I drink milk straight from the container. Terasaka: The cow?? Hazama: What? Muramatsu: Terasaka, W H Y?

——-

Hazama, watching Yoshida and Muramatsu fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt? Terasaka, not bothered by the chaos: It’s fine. They’re too evenly matched to hurt each other. Hazama: Then… who’s the strongest out of you three? Yoshida: Terasaka. Muramatsu: Terasaka. Terasaka: Me.

——-

Yoshida: We call that a traumatic experience. Yoshida, turning to Itona: Not a “bruh moment”. Yoshida, turning to Hazama: Not “sadge”. Yoshida, turning to Terasaka: And DEFINITELY not an “oof LMAO”.

——-

Yoshida: Where the devil is Hazama? Muramatsu: Well, it is raining outside… Maybe she melted? Terasaka: Shall I look outside for a pointy hat?

——-

*The gang is learning CPR on a test dummy* Yoshida: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing? Terasaka: No, Yoshida. They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs. Yoshida: No, that’s not part of it— Terasaka: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there? Hazama: I would want to live with no legs. Terasaka: How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Hazama. You don’t do anything. Yoshida: All right, well, lets get back to it. ‘Cause you’re losing him. *Terasaka pumps frantically* Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute. Terasaka: Okay, that’s uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour? Muramatsu: How’s that gonna help you? Terasaka: I will divide and then count to it. Muramatsu: Right. Yoshida: Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song? Terasaka: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. *clears throat, begins to sing* First I was afraid, I was petrified.

——-

Muramatsu: How late were you up last night? Terasaka & Hazama, in tandem: Me? Muramatsu: No, not you two. You stay up late all the time. Muramatsu, to Yoshida: You.

——-

Terasaka: Hey Muramatsu, wanna third wheel on my date with Hazama tomorrow? Muramatsu: Sure. Terasaka: Yoshida! Wanna third wheel on my date with Hazama tomorrow? Terasaka: Great! I’ve always wanted to go on a double date! Muramatsu & Yoshida: … Hazama: Terasaka…

——-

Terasaka: I still don’t have a New Year’s resolution. Hazama: You could lose a few. Yoshida: You could be less lazy. Muramatsu: Don’t be such a bitch. Terasaka: Okay DAMN, SHIT.

——-

Muramatsu: I told Yoshida to grab snacks for everyone. Terasaka, looking through the options: Why did you grab fruit snacks? Are you five? Who even likes Fruit Snacks? *Muramatsu, Yoshida, Itona, and Hazama raise their hands*

——-

Yoshida: *about Hazama and Terasaka* They make a cute couple, huh? Muramatsu: They certainly are standing next to each other.

——-

Terasaka: I haven’t slept in seventy-three hours. Itona: Eighty. Democratically elected leader of insomnia. Hazama: Bitch, it’s been ninety for me. I’m going for an even one hundred. Yoshida: You guys are fucking terrifying.

——-

Muramatsu: LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS! Hazama: And here we have a capitalist. Yoshida: Did you just- Terasaka: Let us all take a moment to appreciate that all of human history, human language, and the universe itself aligned to make this joke possible.

——-

Hazama, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it- Yoshida, whispering: Should we call the exorcist? Muramatsu, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick. Terasaka, appalled: Call the exorcist.

——-

Muramatsu: I just want someone to take me out. Yoshida: On a date? Hazama: With a sniper gun? Terasaka: Both if you’re not a coward.

——-

Muramatsu, Yoshida & Hazama: *screaming* Terasaka: *runs into the room* What’s wrong, Hazama?! Muramatsu: Wait, why are you asking Hazama that when Yoshida and I are also here? Terasaka: Because Hazama wouldn’t scream unless it’s an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

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