frankie-sstudios

[frankie-sstudios]

Current writing struggle: I'm too mature when thinking about love. And that is because I have too much experiences and I read about it in many places.

But my characters still don't know shit.

So I need to "stupify" myself so their argument about love will seem...imperfect.

And I need to watch cringe-y and classic teen romance movies

[frankie-sstudios]

Best advice I could ever have

you don’t have to write something good. you just have to write something unhinged enough to edit later

[frankie-sstudios]

To write or to review? Tough choices here mate

[frankie-sstudios]

writing is so humbling. one day you're like “this paragraph could end war.” next day you're like “was I having a stroke when I wrote this???”

[frankie-sstudios]

IT'S HERE!!!

Guuyyysss!! I finished the Awsten-Michael fanfic (not gender-bend anymore sorry T.T)

It's called Spell Fic!

Set in the world where Awsten and Michael are two rock stars who hate each other but the next few days, they often wake up together on the same bed...naked

My first ever finished short story after years of not being able to write aaccckk!! So happy for this. I would love to share it and have people read it!! Soaper thank you for this contest existing skksksks (The thought that Michael Clifford might read it makes me go ACCKK dkdkks) Do tell me what you think as well! I LOVE reading comments dkskks.

Read it here, y'all!

[frankie-sstudios]

My goal for my soon-to-be main WIP:

To straight-bait some cishet bitschies

[frankie-sstudios]

Apparently, there are some stuff I left out on the previous update

Good morning, at least here. What about there at your place?

I can imagine this morning to start with a nice cup of hot chocolate--current obsession--and fingers straight away to plotting my main WIP. Problem is...that's not what's gonna happen.

On a little bitty sad note: as much as I would love to keep writing, I have to review. I have board exams in September. I need INTENSIVE and A LOT of reviewing to do.

I quite fear of taking a break from writing and focus on this because what if my creative spark starts to disappear right when it's reappearing again? I mean, it's the reason why I believe I could never make stories anymore. I focused so much on studying that I lost touch of my creative literacy. What if the wind blows it away again? And what if it never came back?

Biggest worry I have so far with this. Plus, the pressure my parents put on me. Imagine I'm 22 and I'm still being controlled by my parents as a future trophy they want to display for people to see, giving me judgements whenever notices or mentions of writing is being brought up.

"noooo~~ you'll never find success in doing the things you looovee~~"

On the other hand my sisters once told me: "learn to love that course your parents chose for you~~ it's your future~"

As if I'm not capable to build my own future.

Haayyyss. It's good to have a license. But either way, it's not matter for me; I have one goal anyway and it won't lead there! But nooooooo must parents have a trophy psychology to show off the streets! That's what should be! And they said, it's for myeeelllff, my wellbeing, my futuuuure because that's how much they caaaaree they ignore their child's dreams in life because they already created a structure for me I have to follooooooow because if I don't I'll be a disappointment to the societyyyyy never let your child dream if their dreams involves arts and literatuuuuurree

So stressful and unavoidable I have to make jokes and sarcastic notes about it. Again, haaaaaayyyss

Anyway, yeah. Let's see how this goes I guess. Have a good good day y'all.

[frankie-sstudios]

Finally, I finished something

Update so far:

After more than a sweet of struggles, I manage to flow some words out of my brain and onto my screen. The very push: That Wattpad contest featuring Michael Clifford and Awsten Knight from Waterparks. It is about making a fanfic in relation to the song and music video. I am not sure if I got the prompt right--could've explained the deep lore if it wasn't for the 1k or less word limit--but I am proud of it. For one, I start to feel confident writing the story. Then it made me think of maybe making a novella out of it? I don't know. Maybe I will if my brain decides it wants to keep writing that thing.

I also made a novel idea for the two new characters that just came up to me last night--which I'm quite excited about--and expanded my story on this novella I've been planning to become my main project.

So far here are the list of my main works and updates:

Love Note, Oneshot (finished, needs editing cuz it's past 1k words, will now work on what the book cover might be which I will update here soon) (might turn it into a full-fledged novel/la after the contest result)

What Is Romance?, Novella (under characterization and more plot works)

Untitled Roommate Novel(la?) (Side project in case I get blocked on my other novella, writing down some plot points/possibly what'll happen in the story

So how do I feel? Accomplished, sort of. Happy, a lot. My creativity is flourishing and I can't wait to work on these projects.

[frankie-sstudios]

Making a gender-bend fic of Awsten and Michael. Give me good names for them.if they were a woman

[frankie-sstudios]

HELLO??

[frankie-sstudios]

Thinking of Starting Over

It seems writing is starting to get tough when you're starting again from the very bottom.

I tried to write for some time. I edited a prologue from my "escape" WIPs and I feel good about it so far. But I tried visiting my main WIP and there's so much errors I made that I can barely stare at it. The fact that I even published in on Wattpad... Horrifying.

So I'm thinking of putting it down, to unpublish it and starting from scratch--a new novel, a short one so it won't be much of a hassle. I also plan to post five scenarios on my one shot series as it's the most read and loved creation of mine so far.

I don't know if this is a good idea. It could be. But that means I have to start over. This time, I'm gonna make it better.

I have a plot for it already, but struggling with the characters' personalities--which means I should daydream more about them. I'm not gonna promise it's a good one. It's an okay one. I just don't know how I'll make the second part of it (yes, it MIGHT be a series but I'm not gonna push myself to finish it quick and get on the next one because I'm gonna be good to myself today)

Well... let's see how this project goes

[frankie-sstudios]

I swear if I still can't get off my writer's block and imposter syndrome, I'll write a gender-bend phanfic again where they're both sapphics and secretly in love

[frankie-sstudios]

Back on Tumblr, (barely) Back to Writing: a rant

Well...it's been centuries...

Maybe just two years or three. But I'm kinda back? At least I'm trying to.

To quote a Tony award-winning musical: how's life? Disappointing.

I have to focus on my college life that I never got any time to write but more time to be depressed. Well, at least I'm graduating. Bad news: my parents want me to pursue my degree further and I am having a tough time trying to break from it.

If you ask, I've always been creating stories in my head, even if I never write them down. And I'm also writing some bits of songs when I feel like it, as well as some thought-pieces. And I find solace in it. That's how sure I am that this is what I want to spend my whole life doing.

But now that I have all my free time (well, some) why am I not doing any sort of writing? I also don't know. I don't know where to start again, with all piles of stories and WIPs I have. I had an idea to stick with short stories for a moment, but even I can't push through with that as I feel less now when I write. And when I feel less, my writing becomes as dull as the life I have now. I try to think positively but positivity doesn't change the fact that the reality is I'm starting to fall over. In writing, in life, and everything. At the moment, I'm starting to worry about what future I'll face. I fear the idea that I'll never get to write my stories again if I follow the path my parents wanted. But what if I'm not meant to be an author? A scriptwriter? A songwriter and performer? And if I pursue this, I'll just fall over completely because I suck. Yeah. Imposter syndrome shit.

I can say I wanna curse at my parents for being logical thinkers, thinking about opportunities that they want us to reach because they never get to push themselves further and now they're putting it out on us. And now they might be thinking I'm no dreamer, but I am--we're just not having the same dreams.

Aspiring for the aspirant

when told about her dreams, you try to turn the rails of her engine.

Do I still have it? Slksksks

I mean I do feel like I still do. Just...hayyss

How do I get back on my feet again?

Maybe it starts with this blog. And maybe, I'll write more updates here, and my thoughts as well. Well, I hope I maintain it lolololol

That's all guys. Just a mini rant. I'll try to do...whatever. I am not sure what to do with writing now, if I am to be honest. Maybe find prompts? Or come back with writing my WIPs?

*long siiiiiiiiiighhh* whatever now, I guess.

[frankie-sstudios]

Falin and Marcille is a good ship, but apologies for abandoning it.

this ship is the cutest and I will never say no to "^_^" x "-_-" sapphic girlies

[frankie-sstudios]

Well

a bit of good news~~ I finsihed a chapter! Oh so finally~~ I feel like it's just a small accomplishment and I shouldn't be celebratin this much but I feel pretty happy for myself. Weeelll I know that it needs fixing (it lacks descriptions which results to less pauses in dialogues and needs more emotions/expressions). I like to thank those who commented/reblog my post. I took notes of every advice and it helped me a lot so thank you so so so so muuuchh~!! <33

It made me thought, well, I do need to talk to fellow writers because only they understand writer struggles and I need people that I can relate to. My problem though is that I tend to be awkward with conversations and sometimes I am just a plain reader, lurking from the sea of fellow chat members. I'm afraid most times that i drown in conversations, and maybe even mebarrass myself (Damn you social anxiety)

I only have a few writer friends, and like me, they are mostly busy so it's been longs since we talked. Now, I feel somewhat alone again. i don't like how it's difficult for me to make friends. I sometimes want to reach out to a few people here but I'm thinking sometimes "what if this conversation will just lead to nothing because I'm way too awkward?" so I don't.

Well, to beat that shit-ass anxiety, I tried to join Tumblr communities!!--which I only discovered yesterday despite the update being there for long lol. Starting today, I will try to interact with the writing communities I joined in, hopefully make friends without being so awkard.

Well, I hope so

[frankie-sstudios]

saving this because this is a good idea to fix plot holes with my story--at least some <33

if you're trying to get into the head of your story's antagonist, try writing an "Am I the Asshole" reddit post from their perspective, explaining their problems and their plans for solving them. Let the voice and logic come through.

[frankie-sstudios]

So...

Tried to read, then tried to write. I can write some which is an improvement somewhat. But...i don't feel it(?)

I write continiously a while ago but I notice my writing feels bland and doesn't feel right. I just explained facial expressions when they react at something, but it doesn't feel enough. Like it's bad. And that's making me stop writing it. Again.

I have an idea how I want this story in my head which motivates me to finish this. But I feel like I'm shit at writing things that I don't know what to do.

What do you do in this situation? When your writing becomes bland or doesn't sound 'right'? Should I just keep writing it despite it sounding like shit? I am writing down things about my characters, thinking maybe that will get me going--I hope.