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just btw guys i am going on a lil trip for the next week and a half ish so will be less active! but i am still taking requests in the meantime (including for my celebration!) ill just get to them a bit later xxxx
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be honest is marlene talking about brokeback mountain
hahaha that's what i had in mind!!! glad u caught it!
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pushing it down and praying - ex! james potter x fem!reader
part 2 to let things go wc: 5935 cw: angst with some comfort, lots of crying, swearing, blood and cuts, toxic partners, kind of misogynistic speech? sex but not in graphic detail, pls lmk if i miss any me: has taken me a hot minute but part 2 is finally here! it ended up being so much longer than i expected so i assume there will probably be a part 3 at some point bc theres so much to explore with this dynamic
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Lilyâs apartment was cozy but refined, absolutely perfect for her. You could see furniture and decorations you recognised from when she first got her place with Mary, but it was clear sheâd grown up, and the flat had matured with her. Your heart clenched as you realised youâd missed it all.
Thankfully, Lily hadnât commented on your absence, hadnât made any snide remarks that you were crawling back because you had nowhere else to go. She just held you in a long embrace the second you walked through her door, rubbing your back softly as you began to cry again.
Remus was standing behind her, a pitiful frown on his face.
âLong time no see, love.â He pulled you towards him, his knitted sweater warm and soft against you.
âIâve missed you,â You mumbled against his chest, holding him tighter until you were almost sure you werenât going to bawl anymore.
Remus and Lily fussed around you until you were wrapped in a thick duvet, sitting on Lilyâs couch with a steaming mug of tea.
You were glad youâd let everything out over the phone; it negated the necessity to explain it under their pitiful, sympathetic gazes. Instead, you let them both fill you in on their lives.
It seemed like everything had changed, yet was still exactly the same. The friendship group had stayed, but jobs, partners, and living arrangements had shifted and altered in the time youâd been away. You hung onto their every word, filling in the gaps that had slowly appeared over the years.
Then Lily asked you to return the favour. You hesitated, unsure of where to start. You started on something safe: your career. Objective achievements, a linear progression between positions and responsibilities. You told them about the hobbies youâd picked up and those which youâd long abandoned. Finally, you told them about your flat.
You described the shitty heating that only worked once every four or five days, meaning you had blankets ready on every surface just in case. You told them about the single square metre kitchen (only a slight exaggeration) where you had to contort yourself to open any of the cupboards, but how you turned it into a game and had even started to love it. You told them about your bedroom and the sanctuary it had become, with eccentric lamps youâd found antiquing and the same cozy bedspread youâd had since adolescence.
Speaking about your bed brought you back to thoughts of Adam, though, and you could feel your spirit sink again at the idea of him moving in. Remus and Lily exchanged concerned looks, unsure of how to broach the subject.
âSo, Adamâs moving in?â
âYeah, I guess.â
âCan I ask something that might be uncomfortable?â Lily continued at your nod, âYou and Adam have been together for, what, a couple years now, and he still hasnât moved in? Whatâs your hesitation?â
You looked around at both your friends for a long moment, feeling bile rise in the back of your throat. It was bitter and burned inside your mouth, echoing how youâd been feeling all day.
âI donât know,â You croaked, staring daggers through your tea mug, âI mean I love him! I think. But, I just⊠I donât know if I want to wake up next to him forever, you know? If he moves in, it feels like thatâs it. Itâs permanent.â
Lily looked at you in a way that was very familiar, eyebrows knitted together in pity. You kept your eyes anywhere but hers, carefully examining some of the framed photos on the wall.
âYou know itâs okay to not want what someone tells you youâre supposed to, right?â Remus said, pulling a blanket over himself on a plush armchair. You nodded, duh, but really hearing it, you bit your lip.
âItâs just, like, itâs been years, right? Heâs been asking to move in since before we hit a year, and it just feels like if we donât do it now, then heâll break up with me. And I donât want that! I donât think, or â or, I didnât, but now things are extra weird and⊠Ugh.â You didnât mean to ramble or reveal so much, but you were sure it wasnât such a surprise after the previous events of the night, and the way that Remus and Lily had known you for a million years and were intimately familiar with your tells. Evidently, you hadnât changed that much with Adam.
âLovely, you canât be making huge lifestyle changes just to hope that someone doesnât break up with you. If Adam is really the one for you, he shouldnât mind if you tell him youâre not ready for it yet.â
âBesides,â Lily added, âWeâre all still young. Itâs okay to just want to experience living alone in your twenties. Thereâs no timeline that you have to do anything.â
âOkay,â You nodded shakily, âIâll tell him tomorrow that Iâm not ready for him to move in, but that I want us to stay together. Maybe we can reevaluate or something in a few months?â You missed the look that Remus and Lily exchanged â not ideal, but itâs a start.
âThat sounds good, honey.â Lily smiled, asking if you wanted any of the ice cream she had left in the freezer.
Ten minutes later, you were all chowing down on chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, giggling over much lighter subjects.
âIs Sirius still working on that bike?â You asked, remembering the broken-down motorcycle heâd bought for almost nothing right when you graduated. Heâd still been trying to repair it the last time you saw him.
âItâs working now, heâs even managed to get it flying,â Lily replied with a smile.
âGod help us all,â Remus interjected, shaking his head, which made you giggle.
âYouâll have to come round and see it sometime, itâs actually quite a good-looking bike. âCourse weâre all scared half to death whenever he rides it, but you know Sirius canât be dissuaded.â
You asked a few other questions â had Marlene made much progress with the electric guitar? Was Peter still the best in the group at chess? Then, quietly, nervously, you asked, âHowâs James?â
They both paused before answering, clearly choosing words carefully.
âHeâs good,â Remus said, âStill playing quidditch, of course, but heâs beginning to think of life outside of playing and branching out to other projects. Have you seen any games?â
You shook your head. âNot since⊠it ended. And Adam doesnât know Iâm a witch, so itâs just easier to tune out of it all.â
âStill?â Lily asked, disbelief clear in her raised eyebrows, âTheyâre at the top of the ladder this season anyway, maybe you can come over and watch a match one time if youâre not up to attending in person â theyâve finally caught up with muggle television.â Remus brought over one of the framed photos sitting beside the television as Lily spoke, clearly a recent one. James looked good, like always.
âOutside of work?â You poked, trying to talk around your point. Remus just raised an eyebrow. He always was too smart for his own good.
âHeâs had a few short-term girlfriends, but nothing more than a few months. I think heâs looking to settle down, though.â
âHe always wanted a family.â You nodded.
âAs do you,â Lily said, though it sounded more like a challenge. You choked on your ice cream at the implication, shaking your head.
âIâm with Adam,â You confirmed, partly for yourself.
âNever said you werenâtâ She held her hands up in surrender, âJust something to think about.â
The next night, you invited Adam over for a home-cooked dinner. An apology of sorts for the night before, and a softener for what was to come.
You sat across from him, pushing your pasta around the bowl as you tried to broach the subject. Adam was focused on his food, attacking the bowl like he had something to prove.
âSo, um, I have to tell you something,â You said, fork scraping against the porcelain bowl.
âWhat?â More of a statement than a question, but you proceeded anyway.
âI donât think we should move in together.â Adamâs head snapped up to face you, already clouding over with anger. âBut I donât think we should break up! Not at all, I want to be with you, I do. Just⊠Iâm only getting started in my life, and I think I need to have this time where Iâm figuring so much out to be okay with being alone and self-sufficient.â
âAnd you canât figure that shit out with me in the flat?â He asked, unimpressed.
âItâs not about you, Adam,â You sighed, running a hand through your hair, âThatâs the whole point. Itâs about me. I want to be a fully formed woman, I need to know who I am in my soul before I attach my identity to yours!â
âI donât get it, isnât that the fucking point? This is a serious, grown-up relationship, is it not? What are you waiting for? Do you not love me, is that it?â It wasnât like Adam was yelling or flipping tables or anything, but tears welled at your lash line, threatening to bubble over and down your cheeks.
âCan we just take a minute?â You begged, hands splayed out on the table like they were keeping you upright. âI donât want this to be a fight.â Adam huffed but nodded, and you went to go sit in your bedroom while he took the couch as you both cooled off â well, Adam cooled off and you cried.
Your bedroom was still a mess from your attempts at cleaning out yesterday, but you sidestepped the piles of junk in order to throw yourself across your mattress, sobbing into the pillow as you clutched it tight between your arms.
It went exactly how you thought it would â Adam taking it overly personal and blowing up. He just didnât get it. Heâd already done all his figuring out by the time heâd even met you; he was almost thirty! Adam had his whole life planned out, and you were dragging him behind.
In your devastation, to your entire shame and disgrace, you began to think about James. What would your life be like now if you hadnât broken up? Would you have moved in together by now? Or would you be resisting it like you were now? A memory struck you, one that had you crying harder.
You lay on Jamesâ naked chest, hand softly playing with his curls. Youâd both just lost your virginities and were basking in the post-sex haze in his bedroom over the summer holidays, shrouded in white sheets, orange sun rays filtering through the window.
âHow long do you think weâll be together for?â You asked, voice small, though you didnât pull away from him. It was an insecure question, you knew, but it had been a vulnerable day.
âAs long as youâll have me,â James answered without hesitation, hand drawing gentle circles in the small of your back. You smiled, so big James could feel it against his skin.
âWill we get married?â You followed up, tracing his jawline featherlight.
âSomewhere gorgeous,â He replied, âIn a garden with those flowers you like, the purple ones.â
âSirius will be your best man, and Lily will be my maid of honour, and your mum will cry buckets.â You were both giggling, giddy in the way only teenagers in love can be.
âWill we have children?â He asked, pulling you so you were directly on top of him, the two of you nose to nose.
âYes,â You paused to think, âTwo or three maybe. One boy and two girls.â
âSounds good to me, lovely. Canât wait for forever.â
You were smiling through the tears, the nostalgic joy of the memory flooding through you. A knock at the door had the warmth seeping out of you, pulling you back to the moment you were living in. You made an affirmative noise, and Adam cracked the door open, looking a little like a kicked dog.
âI donât want to fight, babe. I wonât move in yet.â
You managed a weak smile, nodding as you blinked a few times until your eyes were dry.
Adam sat next to you, the mattress dipping under him. He put an arm around you, your muscles tensing under his touch.
âItâs okay, babe. I get that you need time to grow up or whatever, but we love each other, so itâs fine. I can still stay over, right?â
âYeah,â You hesitated, âYeah, of course.â
âGood,â He said, leaning over to kiss you, âBecause I couldnât live without you.â
You let Adam kiss you, malleable under his direction. He pushed you back onto the mattress, and you let him slide your red woollen sweater over your head, kissing down your neck and collarbone.
Soon you were naked, lying still underneath Adam as he slid in and out of you, his eyes screwed shut in pleasure. I love him, you told yourself, I love him. And so you kissed him, craning your neck to reach him, hoping he couldnât see written on your face what was creeping into your heart.
You closed your eyes, a big mistake. In your head, instead of Adam fucking you it was James, his doe eyes boring into your own. Fuck, you wanted to feel guilty. You knew it was wrong, Adam was your boyfriend. Not James. James hadnât been your boyfriend for years.
And yet, you didnât feel guilty that you were fantasising about your ex whilst you were actively having sex with your current boyfriend. In fact, youâd just started feeling good. Your back arched up into Adamâs chest as you moaned, âFuck, touch me.â You fell just short of crying Jamesâ name, thank god.
Adam finished, collapsing on top of you and wrapping his arms around your middle.
âLove you,â He mumbled, holding you tighter.
âYeah,â You whispered, rolling onto your side, âYou too.â
You were still awake an hour later, staring at the wall, bathed in silver light from the moon outside the window. On your nightstand stood two framed photos, one of you and Adam early in your relationship, his arms around you as you both stood in a nightclub, wide smiles on both your faces. The second was of your Hogwarts friends when you were much younger, at Remusâs sixteenth birthday party.
You were all squished around the armchair that Remus sat in, a crooked birthday crown sitting on his hair. You were next to James but your arms rested on Remusâ shoulders so it wasnât obvious that you guys were a couple at that time â but you knew his hand was resting on your arse behind the back of the seat. If Adam was privy to that knowledge, then you knew the photo would have been thrown away years ago.
You couldnât help staring at James. He looked the same as he did when you broke up, bright grin and mischief in his eyes. His glasses were crooked across his nose, you remember reaching up to adjust them after the picture was taken. You missed him; you couldnât deny that to yourself. But it wasnât romantic, you reasoned, just nostalgia spurred on by the past few days. You only pictured him instead of Adam because it was an experience you were used to, no other reason. You repeated that mantra until you fell into an unsatisfying sleep.
A few weeks passed, and you were making a conceited effort to stay in touch with your old friends. At first, it was just Lily and Remus, confident in knowing that they still liked you. But eventually, you reached out to the rest of the girls too, pushing through an awkward coffee date to reestablish your previous connection. You hadnât reached out to Sirius yet, and you knew youâd never contact James, but you were content that you were taking steps to bring back the old part of your life.
âIâm off,â You said one evening, pulling on your coat, âHeaded to the pub with Lily and some of the girls.â
âSince when are you hanging out with them?â Adam asked, looking up from the football match he was watching on your couch.
âJust recently,â You answered blithely, âI realised I hadnât seen them in forever! Crazy.â You purposefully left out any suggestion that it was Adamâs doing; it would just cause another fight.
âI thought you didnât like them anymore? Remember you said they were too immature?â
ïżœïżœI didnâtââ You cut yourself off, shrinking in shame when you recalled the moments the words left your mouth, trying desperately to seem cool in front of Adamâs older friends. âWell, um, you know. Itâs been a couple years, maybe theyâve changed.â You slipped out the door before Adam could say anything else about it.
Later that night, or earlier the next morning, you stumbled in, blissful from a night of laughter and dancing with your friends, just like when you were younger. You didnât expect to see Adam still up, a sitcom rerun playing, but he clearly wasnât watching.
âWhereâve you been?â He asked, standing.
âI told you, out with the girls.â
âTil two in the morning?â He took a step towards you, and you headed towards your bedroom.
âWe went dancing.â
âGreat, so you were probably grinding on some other fuckinâ guy,â He huffed, and you hurried over to him, a soft hand on his bicep.
âI would never! Adam, youâre my boyfriend.â
âProve that you love me.â
You were beginning to have a problem. Lying naked in bed, Adam inside you, yet you couldnât enjoy it unless you were picturing James instead. You had to imagine it was Jamesâ lightly calloused fingers running up and down your sides to derive any pleasure from it.
And still, you couldnât feel guilty, because when you closed your eyes and Jamesâ kind smile replaced Adamâs, youâre insides finally ignited, giving you a release youâd been waiting for. The same which convinced Adam you hadnât cheated on him. Funny how that works.
Things were shaky, but mostly alright, for a few more weeks. You saw your friends when you could, but tried not to bring it up very much in front of Adam. He got moodier every time you mentioned them. Snide comments, subtle insults, you had no idea why he hated them so much.
It all came to a head a few weeks later.
âIâm off to lunch, you can stay here if youâd like,â You said, applying your mascara in the hallway mirror.
âAnd I wonder who youâre going out with.â He rolled his eyes with a huff.
âItâs Remusâ birthday,â You pleaded, âI have to go.â
âBut Remus hates me, how could you be friends with someone who hates your boyfriend?â
âHe doesnât hate you.â He does. âBesides, itâs his birthday, and itâs just lunch. I canât miss it.â
âFine, whatever. I just canât believe youâre choosing them over me.â Adam turned back to the television, your shoulders slumping as you sighed, hand making its way up to your forehead.
âIâm not choosing either of you â whatever, Iâll be back in a few hours. Let yourself out.â
At your lunch, you recounted the story to your friends with a casual air, scolding Remus when he interjected with a deadpan âI do hate him.â
âHeâs really not that bad, Remus. Heâs just not maybe your kind of guy.â
âHeâs no oneâs type of guy,â Marlene snorted, âHeâs barely a man. Six years older than you and acting like a child.â
âCome on, guys,â You sighed with a small smile, âWeâre here for Remus, not to rag on my boyfriend.â
The conversation moved on to lighter subjects, but you couldnât help the sinking feeling that maybe your friends had a point. It wasnât like they would lie to you, right? Surely if all of them thought Adam wasnât right for you, there was some truth to the statement.
You figured it was an issue youâd deliberate over when you were home alone, not when you were in the company of friends.
Even Sirius was there, giving you a long embrace when you reunited, though the energy between you wasnât as effortless as it had been in the past â you couldnât blame him. You were told James couldnât make it because of quidditch training, but Remus said he saw James enough that it didnât really matter whether or not he was there for the official celebration.
You stumbled along the path with Mary, who lived nearby, giggling as youâd perhaps gone overboard at bottomless lunch. You were unaware of Adam still in the apartment, watching you with contempt from your front window, three stories up.
âSee me soon, okay?â Mary made you pinky promise, kissing you on both cheeks.
âOf course, weâll go see that movie you were talking about â the one about the cowboys.â You nodded eagerly, squeezing her hand as you turned towards your door.
You fumbled with the keys, missing the slot two or three times before pushing into your flat. To your surprise, instead of the tranquil apartment you were expecting, Adam was standing in the middle of your open plan area, clutching something tightly in his hand.
âHey,â You said lightly, stepping closer. You could finally make out Jamesâ postcard wrinkling under Adamâs grip, and your face fell. Looking over, your room was in disarray, your memory boxes strewn across the floor.
âWhat the fuck is this?â He held up the postcard, practically vibrating in his fury.
âAdamâŠâ
âNo, what the fuck is this? How can you possibly defend having all this just sitting in your bedroom?â
âAdam, itâs not what you think.â
âNot what I think? Youâve got boxes full of shit from your ex-boyfriend, how can there be any other explanation?â
âItâs stuff from my friends too, itâs just from my school years!â You tried to defend yourself.
âDonât lie to me!â Adam yelled, and you faltered, shrinking away from him. âYouâre still fucking in love with him, arenât you?â
âIâm not,â You protested, tears welling in your eyes.
âYou know, my friends all told me you werenât worth it. That you were immature and hung up on that dick, that I was dating below my league. But I defended you, said you were mature for your age, that you were cool. And this is how you fucking thank me? By emotionally cheating on me with your fucking teenage boyfriend? Youâre just a pathetic girl.â
You could only watch, paralysed, as Adam ripped up the postcard, tossing it to the floor. A fat tear rolled down your cheek.
âAdam, please, can we just talk about this, itâs not like that!â
âTalk about what? That Iâve given you years of love just for you to run back to some washed up high school jock you dated when you were sixteen?â
âI havenât seen James in years!â You yelled over him desperately, sobs wracking through your body.
âIf youâre going to act like a child, Iâll treat you like a child. Iâm fucking done.â Adam stormed past you, pausing only to throw your framed graduation photo on the floor, the glass of the frame shattering into a thousand pieces at your feet.
The door closed with a violent slam, and you sank to the floor, hardly noticing the shards of glass tearing up the skin of your knees. You clutched the remnants of the photo, too distraught to care about the blood dripping from your hands as you grasped the ruined frame hopelessly.
You cried for what felt like hours, alone in your dark apartment, unable to gather the energy to even switch on a lamp. It was only when you had no tears left to cry that you pushed yourself up onto shaky legs, stumbling out of your flat in a daze.
You wandered down the streets, limping from where a particularly deep cut had sliced into the join of your knee. You werenât bothered by the disturbed stares of passersby, too emotionally drained to even be self-conscious.
You didnât stop until you were standing at Lilyâs doorstep, weak hand extending to the doorbell.
Inside, the gang had continued Remusâ birthday celebrations, everyone giggling over wine and a Bowie record. When the doorbell rang, clear and piercing even through the joyous noise, no one expected the visitor waiting to be let in.
Of course, it was Lily who opened the door, gasping in horror as she took you in, grabbing the attention of the rest of the party.
You stood in the doorway, mascara running down your cheeks, your hair a mess. You were still wearing the mini skirt and blouse youâd worn to lunch, but your bare shins were covered in blood, matching your hands, from where youâd been cut up by glass shards.
Lily ushered you in, and you followed her numbly down the entrance way toward your friends.
âHey,â You croaked, voice rough from harsh sobs.
They all spoke at once, questions of what happened and whether you were okay, exclamations of horror at your sorry state.
âDid he do this to you?â Sirius asked, and no one had to clarify who âheâ was.
âNo,â You shook your head, âNot directly.â
âWe need to get you cleaned up,â Lily said, comforting hand warm on your back. For the first time, though, youâd noticed James.
He looked the same, yet entirely different. The years had changed him for the better. James had grown into his features, strong jawline just dusted with a five oâclock shadow. His curls had grown out slightly, sitting just below his ears, but his glasses were still crooked on his face, just as you remembered them always being.
Right now, though, his face was far from the sunny, mischievous expression you were used to seeing. As you locked eyes for the first time in years, conflict was clear on Jamesâ face. You were sure yours was exactly the same.
âUh, come on.â Lily pulled you gently, leading you along to the bathroom. By the time you arrived, you were crying again.
Lily didnât question you as she sat you on the closed toilet lid, letting you silently cry as she wet an old rag. There was a knock at the bathroom door, just two quick ones which echoed against the tiles. Lily cracked the door open, a slight gasp escaping her as she came face to face with James.
âWhat are you doing?â She asked softly, a hand reaching out to comfort him. There was no reason he should be coming after you.
âIâm the only one here with any first aid training,â He replied, studiously avoiding you, âGlass is trickier than a plan cut.â
âOh, ok,â Lily nodded, âDo you want me to stay?â She whispered, and you pretended you couldnât hear despite the three of you all occupying the same square metre. James shook his head, and they swapped places, Lily giving him a long look before leaving you two alone.
James didnât say anything at first, simply taking the rag that Lily had left in the sink, wringing it out so it wasnât dripping, before making his way over to you. You didnât make eye contact.
âIâll just clean off the dried blood first, shouldnât hurt too bad.â Jamesâ voice was more gruff than you remembered, but maybe that was because he was with you. You didnât say anything, but gave him a small nod.
James started with your knees, pressing the rag lower on your shins where the blood had run to. That part didnât hurt, so you sat in silence, the only reprieve coming from the music floating softly from the living room. The bathroom door was only open a crack, closing by itself in the movement before.
âWhat are you holding?â He broke the silence. You looked down, snapping out of a daze. You didnât have the words to describe the picture without absolutely sounding weird or talking yourself into a hole, so you just held it out for him to inspect.
James took it from you, careful not to cut himself on the sharp edges. You watched in real time as his eyes softened, the beginnings of a smile twitching at his lips as he examined it.
âFrom graduation?â He asked. You nodded, your own smile threatening your lips.
âIt made me happy every time I looked at it; I had to keep it.â
You locked eyes, and for a moment, it felt like nothing had changed, that you were both freshly out of school and in love. Then, in an instant, you were both back in the present moment. You both averted your eyes quickly, examining your injuries.
âUm, this partâll hurt. I would do it with magic, but honestly, the glass kinda stresses me out, Iâd rather just do it by hand.â
James dug around in Lilyâs bathroom cabinet until he found a pair of tweezers, and you winced before heâd even approached with them.
It took fifteen minutes for James to fish all the shards out of your knee, the only sound being your whimpers and Jamesâ quiet apologies.
âYou ready for the hand, or do you wanna take a break?â He asked softly, still not looking at you.
âNo, do it. I just want this whole nightmare to be over.â
You whimpered as the tweezers fished around in your cut, screwing your eyes shut tight as you tried to stay still.
âItâs almost over, love, youâre alright,â James said, before visibly remembering where he was and becoming serious once again, âUh, Iâll be quick.â You didnât say anything, too focused on trying not to jerk away from Jamesâ intrusions.
James pulled out a bandage and some rubbing alcohol, preparing to treat the wounds. You hissed as James cleaned the wound, the alcohol burning inside the raw flesh. He put a hand on your thigh to comfort you out of past habit, thumb caressing the skin gently.
He wrapped your hand up in the bandage, touch soft though you still werenât talking.
At long last, you were finished, yet James didnât move from in front of you. You stared at each other, years of unsaid feelings coming to the surface.
âDid he hurt you?â James asked, tone low and dangerously controlled.
âHe didnât do this.â You looked down at your bandaged hand and knees.
James just nodded curtly, clearly satisfied that he didnât have to go kill a man. He stood, holding the door open politely so you could rejoin the others.
You took a seat next to Remus on the sofa, smiling weakly when he put a comforting hand on your thigh.
âDo you wanna tell us what happened, honey?â Mary asked sweetly, bringing you a tea from the kitchen.
âI donât know, it seems so stupid nowâŠâ You recounted the afternoon anyway, tears burning behind your eyes. Your friends all looked to be in various states of shock and horror as you told them what Adam said to you.
âYouâre acting like a child? Be fucking for real,â Remus snapped to no one in particular.
âSo what now?â Marlene asked.
âWell, âIâm fucking doneâ was quite clear. Weâre broken up.â You didnât look at James, too afraid of his reaction.
There was a moment of silence in the room before your friends erupted in thunderous applause, hooting and hollering as Lily fetched a bottle of champagne from the kitchen. James didnât partake in the external celebrations; in fact, you couldnât read his face at all.
Still, when a bubbling glass was handed to you with an accompanying congratulations, you couldnât help but smile through your upset.
âOur girl is free!â Sirius sang, draping himself across Remus to cheers your glass, pressing a wet kiss to your cheek.
âShove off,â You laughed despite yourself, âIâve just been dumped, you dick.â
âYeah, by a man who weâve been hoping you would see the light and break up with for years!â Mary cackled, and you giggled, the bubbles already floating up to your head through your bloodstream.
âWhere do you go from here, practically?â Lily asked kindly, always the one to be thinking pragmatically.
âWell, thank god he didnât move in, so I donât have to deal with any lease stuff. Honestly, the only thing I lose is his friends, but they never liked me anyway. They thought I was immature, or too much or whatever.â
âSo literally no loss,â Remus said casually, âYouâre better off, even. Though we could have told you that after the first date.â
âHindsightâs 20/20, right?â You said weakly, revelling at least in your friendâs laughter. âLils, would it be possible for me to stay here tonight? Thereâs still a bunch of Adamâs stuff in my flat that I couldnât bear to look at tonight.â Lily agreed in a heartbeat, of course.
The night wore down, and your friends all eventually set off for their own homes. You were mostly left with congratulations and celebratory hugs, but you stood in front of James as he set off for the door, tension thickening before your eyes.
âThank you for helping me,â You said earnestly.
âItâs no problem, wouldnât want you to have to deal with a messy breakup and glass embedding in your body,â He tentatively joked, the new dynamic between you entirely unexplored.
âIt was really nice to see you, James.â
âYeah,â He hesitated, âYeah, you too. You deserve so much more than that jerk ever gave you.â
With that, he walked off, leaving you stunned and conflicted in the middle of Lilyâs living room.
Half an hour later, you were lying beside Lily in her double bed, the moment feeling perfectly like you were having your childhood sleepovers again.
âThanks for letting me stay,â You whispered, squeezing Lilyâs hand under the covers.
âAnytime, you know that.â
âThanks for letting me come back.â You both paused, the weight of what youâd let happen over the years sinking in. Youâd missed so much. Nobody was the same as they were, including you.
âThis is your chance, my love. Figure out who you are. Not who he wants you to be.â
#giasficsË àŒâĄ âïœĄË â#fluff#love#marauders fanfiction#the marauders era#marauders era#the marauders#marauders#james potter#remus lupin#sirius black#james potter x reader#james potter x you#james potter x y/n#james potter imagine#hp marauders#dead gay wizards#dead gay witches#james potter fluff#james potter fanfiction#james potter fic#marauders fandom#marauders imagine#marauders fic#marauders fanfic#james potter oneshot#angst#mild angst#light angst#drabble
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SAW HTTYD TONIGHT ITS SO GOOD!!!!! SUCH A GREAT ADAPTATION I CRIED THE ENTIRE LAST HALF HOUR
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đŹ i wanna know about number fourteen from the personal questions <33
yayay thanks for asking!!
14: do you collect anything?
i am nothing if not a collector!!! in a list, i collect:
smiskis
cds
dvds
hair ribbons
books/notebooks
bags
to name a few! in short i am simply not a minimialist and never will be haha
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đż iâd like to request the âitalianoâ date with james potter, please <33
and congrats on 1k btw!!! you deserve it so much and i love this event youâre doing đ„č
ahh thank u so much jo!!! ily <3
i knew our little corner of this site were all connected because i just did this exact prompt for jolie!! thank u sm for requesting tho!! <33
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Me again! May I also ask for a đŹ with the writing question 36. What fic are you proudest of?
hey lovely, of course! the fic i'm most proud of is probably our names in the paper! it's a lot longer than the rest of my works and i just think it's a bit more complex thematically and plot-wise! plus it feels like a romcom which really is just my goal in life haha. thank u for the question!! <3
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guys i just found out im (very very slightly) jewish?!?!?!? nineteen years on this earth and no one thought to tell me?? how cool!!!!
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GIAAA OH MY GOD!!! First of allâ CONGRATULATIONS HONEY!! 1K FOLLOWERS đ„čđ„č YOU DESERVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM AND SO MUCH MORE LOVIE!! I am so happy for you!! đđđ€đ€
Second of allâ I saw your celebration post and decided to send a request! No pressure, feel free to ignore if too much đ«¶đ»
I recently watch Anne with an E and I am obsessed with Gilbert Blythe! I had to request for him!!
âGilbert Blytheâ with âBicycleâ đ€đ«¶đ» I would love to read about him and the reader going on a ride and everything, so cute đ€đđ»
anyways, love you!! đ„čđ
xoxo, della đ§ž
eee della thank you so much!! <3 and i am so glad u enjoyed awae gilbert is one of my top fictional crushes he is the man ever!!! and this was such a gorg request i was giggling while writing hehe - lots of love to u!! xox
my 1k celebration
[ BICYCLE ]: the sender and receiver mount their bikes and head off to cycle in the countryside together.
obviously being in canada the views are gorgeous
and being in such a gossipy town like avonlea you both hated going on dates in town
so going on a bike ride together seemed like an absolute no brainer
the day would be perfect, midsummer where the sky was clear
you'd take a quiet path, going through fields filled with flowers and forests where light filtered through the leaves above you
gilbert would love to hear you ramble about whatever book you'd last read or conversations you'd had with the girls at school as you cycled
you'd challenge him to a race on a long straight stretch (of course he'd let you win)
and he'd obviously accept a kiss as a consolation prize
you would try to show off to him, taking your hands off the handlebars or riding in circles
and if you fell off and scraped your knee at least you had your favourite doctor with you
gilbert would first and foremost make sure you're okay, cleaning the wound, putting a cute bandaid on the cut and kissing it better
after your injury gilbert would suggest maybe taking some time off of the bikes
for a picnic!!
you drop your bikes and plant yourselves in a clearing, enjoying the treats you'd brought from home
eventually, when the sun starts setting and you know your parents would expect you home, you get back on your bikes, both in awe of the beautiful colours of the sky as it turned to dusk
gilbert would drop you home like a gentleman, and as he got back on his bicycle to take the path back to his house you would race back out your gate, pressing a quick kiss to his lips
both of you would be absolute blushy messes afterwards, shyly waving goodbye as he cycled off
#a night at the movies with gia#giasficsË àŒâĄ âïœĄË â#love#fluff#gilbert blythe#gilbert blythe x reader#gilbert blythe imagine#aogg#gilbert blythe x you#gilbert blythe fanfiction#gilbert blythe headcanons#gilbert blythe hcs#anne with an e#anne of green gables#awae netflix#awae x reader
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DEAD POETS IS SO GOOD OHMY GOD. wish i could tell them apart tho đ„
HAHAHA no joke i felt exactly the same my first watch!!! it took me an embarrassingly long time to be able to tell charlie and knox apart which now seems a bit silly after several rewatches!
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{đŹ} - i didnât know you were a film student, thats so interesting! bit of a naff one but whatâs your favourite film? mines is mulholland drive
hiii yes! i do a double degree so i am a film and law student which means im doubly intolerable âš also mulholland drive is a vvv good pick!!
i'm gonna cheat a little and give u my letterboxd top 4 because i can't choose just one :-)
AND i'm gonna cheat a little bit more and say that if i was in a film class and people were asking me i would probably tell them either sing street or jurassic park which both are still favs of mine but don't get me laughed at!!
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hi lovie! iâm so excited for this event! can i please request đż with our boy jamie and the italiano prompt?
ahh jolie thank u for the request!!
link to my 1k celebration!!
[ ITALIANO ]: the sender and receiver attempt to make their own pizzas at home together.
ok so this would be the cutest date ever
i hc james as a big chef so it's usually him cooking when you have dinner together
but he decides it would be fun for both of you to contribute and make pizzas together
so you go over to his place and he's set the whole thing up to be really cute, like candles lit and all the ingredients and toppings set up on the kitchen counter
of course it starts to go downhill really fast when you get a bit of flour on james and he thinks it was done on purpose
so he fires back to the extreme, prompting a giggly fight in which you both get COVERED in flour (so does the kitchen)
it doesn't end until the flour is all over your clothes and skin and youre both out of breath from laughing
eventually you do actually get to making the pizzas and youre unashamed in ogling at james' biceps as he rolls out the dough
he makes both your bases into heart shapes coz he's a loverboy
james teases literally any toppings you choose meanwhile he'll actually devour whatever's put in front of him
ofc you make out against the kitchen bench while the pizzas are cooking......
you eat at a candlelit table with music softly in the background (probably billy joel to set the mood)
you decide that staying in with james is better than any restaurant meal you've ever had
#a night at the movies with gia#giasficsË àŒâĄ âïœĄË â#james potter#the marauders#james potter x you#the marauders era#james potter x reader#james potter imagine#james potter fic#james potter fanfiction#james potter fluff#james potter drabble#love#fluff#james potter headcanons#james fleamont potter
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CONGRATS ON 1K BABE YOU DESERVE IT!!!
thank u lovely mina!!! <333
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Hello my darling Gia!!! Happy 1k!! Iâd like to do a q&a and ask a personal question! My question is #20!!!
Ly!!!
hiiii lovely mk!! thank u for the question đœ
20: if you could revive one tv show that has been cancelled, what show would it be?
i have cheeky 2 answers for this but definitely lockwood&co and anne with an e!! they are probably my 2 fav shows everrrr and i am so devo that neither of them got the ending they deserved!!
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Q&A!!! What is one POSITIVE way you'd describe yourself and why?
thank u for the question lovely!
one positive way i'd describe myself is driven! i have a lot of goals for myself and am usually good at self-motivating to reach them!
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A NIGHT AT THE MOVIES!



hey lovelies, thank you so much for 1k followers!! i am so so grateful to each and every one of you and so as a thank you i thought that since i'm a film student maybe we could, like, go out to the cinema together (as a date??)
my rules are simple: pick as many as you like but please limit to one per ask! i'll take asks for this celebration until the 1st of july
{đïž} at the ticket booth
tell me a bit about yourself & ur taste and ill give you a movie/book/music recommendation that i hope isn't too mainstream (clarify which/all media u want!)
{đż} in the trailers
i'll write some fluffy headcanons for any of my listed characters based on this list of dates
{đïž} picture show!
I'll write a drabble or short fic based on an au and a piece of dialogue!
{đŹ} q&a with the director
ask me a personal or writing question - just be sure to specify which!
divider by @saradika-graphics
#a night at the movies with gia#giatalksâ©#james potter x reader#james potter#sirius black x reader#sirius black#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin#lily evans x reader#lily evans#marlene mckinnon x reader#marlene mckinnon#marauders#marauders x reader#marauders blurbs#marauders headcanons#james potter headcanon#sirius black headcanon#remus lupin headcanon#lily evans headcanon#marlene mckinnon headcanon#lockwood x reader#anthony lockwood x reader#luke castellan x reader#percy jackson x reader
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final exam done for the sem and it was nawt good but at least its over ..!
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