glorifiedmazdoor

[glorifiedmazdoor]

So how do i make myself better? I need deep aesthetic guidance i feel like

[glorifiedmazdoor]

Thai is the summer i will be skinny

[glorifiedmazdoor]

[glorifiedmazdoor]

Im waiting for you come back come back come back come back

[glorifiedmazdoor]

୨୧

[glorifiedmazdoor]

Just been through a breakup and also a friend breakup and im lonely and the girl i was talking to is ghosting me and cheap male attention just does not do the trick anymore and my current friends kind of hate me so its time to get addicted to tumblr with all its porn and sadness

[glorifiedmazdoor]

Todays study goals

1. Chem:

• revise all of organic

• finish period 3+ memorise the shit for the groups chapters+ nitrogen+sulpher (all alongside past papers)

• do 2 past papers and score myself out of them

Ultimate score is 3+ pst papers with 50+/60 on them

2. Physics

• finish deformation

• revise waves+ superposition babes being a chutya is not so cute anymore

• finish nuclear physics today

• half of electricity (basics)

[glorifiedmazdoor]

Why am i like a serial monogomist

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[glorifiedmazdoor]

What if i’m not made to be around people. What if my glory days were the ones where i was staunchly anti-social & cripplingly lonely

[glorifiedmazdoor]

Opps so i jumped the gun with a guy based on 2 hellos and now he hasnt replied to my message for 8 hours even though hes been active multiple times 🤪🤪🤪🤪

Man.. i just wanted one kiss from someone pretty ugh what is this. I suppose hes out of my league… time to start working on myself again

[glorifiedmazdoor]

Noatalgia is just a sign that you are not living a life worth living. You’d rather live in your romanticised memories or even worse, other people’s romanticised moments.

[glorifiedmazdoor]

[glorifiedmazdoor]

[glorifiedmazdoor]

Another poem i wrote abt summer!!

After Siken, and that one fateful summer in Lahore

1. Siken, shotgun

We pulled bodies out of the lake

I know of a tree where

its roots don’t end.

Maybe the world is no longer mysterious.

Oh, look. The History House

You can only define it while standing in its periphery

I see the many names of history

And none of them are ours.

2. Summer’s suicide season

Sticky and open and gushing;

It watches you struggle, bleary

At the bottom of a pool

Mirrors return smoke to us

Instead of eyes that fall into doorways

You’ll leave in a week so

Let’s strip, let’s watch them kiss,

And let’s smoke and hold hollow promises

I know you miss me.

I know the night

Bleeds into your head,

phthalo blue, from your window

When I'm not in your bed.

Well, dear so-and-so

I am sorry I left you all bruised and bleeding.

I am sorry we went to watch a movie

And I kissed you without thinking.

I am sorry i never cared how much i could barely tell your face

Apart from my own,

I am so cruel and i am waiting for you to see it.

The world is no longer mysterious.

3. Take the gun off the wall.

We do not care much for denouement.

The wind makes a noise.

Pain makes a noise.

We play with guns until it makes a noise,

4. I had a dream about you

Powder-blue hazy, twilight in your school

I was crying but it doesn’t matter.

I said, look at me staring at you; look,

Look at me, I’m ravenous.

It’s cold, we’re alone, i peer into the lake;

My boyfriend’s floating there.

You kissed me and you left.

I am no longer untouchable.

5. A little piece of grit

to build your pearl around:

Midnight july,

Squinting against the glinting lights

Of your saari, of me inviting you in

And there’s the History House.

A little bit of shame to build a poem around.

6. So I haven’t touched heaven

nor will I be forgiven.

But there is still a gentleness within

God in absentia

I will tell you one thing:

I have inherited a Loss so profound

No desire could ever engulf it…

We never cared much for denouement.

[glorifiedmazdoor]

"Les Jardins de Nuit" (censored version) - Mixed media: colored pencils, pastels, ink, and gold leaf on paper. I created this artwork in 2020 for my book Forgotten Gods.

[glorifiedmazdoor]

Thought id share a poem i wrote for my boyfriend on here