gracefully-juliet

[gracefully-juliet]

[gracefully-juliet]

Ten Things I am Most Looking Forward to this Fall:

10. Warm Apple Cider fresh out of the crockpot with a dash of cinnamon and other goodies.

9. Pumpkin picking at a local pumpkin patch to support the local economy and have fun.

8. Horror movies and hot chocolate. Maybe this is just me but horror movies are so much better in the fall.

7. All the fall decorations! Whether it’s just in my room or in my whole apartment or around campus. I love seeing the pumpkins that are freshly decorated and all the fun different aesthetics.

6. The leaves falling from the trees. I love when the leaves change colors but when the leaves are all over and scattered across the quad it looks like a dream.

5. All of the holidays that come from Autumn. Obviously we have Halloween and Thanksgiving, but fall is the gateway to a lot of the major holidays that I celebrate. I have my birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Years Eve, etc.

4. I love the hoodie weather, because they’re so cozy and I have a large collection of them. I can finally show them off without having a heatstroke.

3. Finally turning 21 this fall! I am the last of my friends to turn 21 and I can’t wait to celebrate with them.

2. Going to haunted houses and getting scared out of my mind.

1. The overall feeling of happiness that this season brings and represents.

[gracefully-juliet]

Guilt over Happiness

I have felt a lot of guilt lately because of how happy I have been recently. Do I feel guilty because I am happy even while the world is in the midst of a global pandemic? Honestly a little bit. Corona has managed to disrupt my daily life and even had me in my ‘sad girl hour’ mood for over a month, but I survived and I feel good. Despite this I still feel guilty for being happy while so many people are going through such difficult times. 

There have been so many things that have affected me personally that should make it harder to be happy like my job security, the unknown surrounding Corona, health issues in my family, and so much more and yet for some reason everyday I wake up and I am happy. 

I don’t even think I can explain it fully. There have been so many bad days, and bad moments these past couple of months and yet it’s still a beautiful life. I am happy in the midst of such chaos and I hope you are too. The guilt will fade away and you’ll remember each day is a gift. Don’t forget many hope to be where we are right now. 

[gracefully-juliet]

questions to ask a potential SO

I’ve had a collections of questions to ask a potential significant other for a couple months now. I want to truly know someone before I commit to that person. Here are some questions I would ask.

- What three words would you use to describe yourself?

- What is your relationship with your parents like?

- Are you and your siblings close?

- What is the most meaningful gift anyone has ever given to you?

- Who would you die for?

- Who would you live your life for?

- If you had one chance to go back and fix one thing in your life what would you change?

- Do you believe in true love?

- What is your love language?

- When do you feel most secure in life?

- When do you feel most secure in a relationship?

- What are you working on currently?

- What are some areas you have for growth?

- How do you practice self care?

- When do you recharge?

- Do you believe in hell?

- Define what Karma means to you?

- What does your perfect relationship look like to you?

- When you’re angry who do you turn to?

- How do you think the world will end?

- Is your lifestyle compatable with any job?

- What are your passions in life?

- What religion do you identify with?

- What is something that offends you?

- Do you believe Black Lives Matter?

- Name one responsibility you wish you didn’t have anymore.

- How well do you function on small amounts of sleep?

- Would you rather be feared or loved?

- What band/artist do you wish you could see one more time?

- Do you live to work or work to live?

- How have you changed since your childhood?

- What attribute do you love most about yourself?

- What characteristics do you look for in a partner?

- Name the biggest what if in your life.

- Who is the one that got away in your life?

- Why did your last relationship fail?

- When you make a decision do you think with your head or your gut?

- What scares you more than anything else?

- What’s your personal heaven?

- How do you manage stress?

- what role does family play in your life?

- Who do you consider family?

- What would make a perfect day for you?

- What was a major turning point in your life?

- Do you think the end or the means are more important?

[gracefully-juliet]

can we talk about the fact that the biggest deterrent to get guys to stop harassing me is to tell them that I have a boyfriend. Even at work when I would try to just be polite and help the next guest they would linger. It got so bad I ordered a fake engagement ring off amazon which helped a little until it got to the “wanna cheat” crowd. I shouldn’t have to tell anyone that I have a boyfriend just so they leave me alone. If I say I’m not interested it should be the end of that but it’s not.

No one talks about this enough and it makes me angry to think that this could happen to the next generation on women. I have a lot of young girls in my life whether they’re my goddaughters, or cousins and I don’t want them to have to go through this. I don’t want them to be scared leaving work at night. I don’t want them to be scared telling someone they’re not interested. I don’t want them to have to order a fake engagement ring.

Rant over.

[gracefully-juliet]

i just really wanna day idk why my title was cut off in my last post

[gracefully-juliet]

Movies to Watch to

I’ve seen a lot of people watching movies that are problematic and saying they’re watching it because of the Black Lives Matter movement. I just wanted to take a minute to discuss this. If you’re watching The Help because of what’s going on in the world right now your heart might be in the right place but you’re not educating yourself. The Help is a problematic movie at best with concepts of white saviorism. For the same reason don’t watch the Blind Side or Freedom Writers. Did you know that the actual teacher in the real life Freedom Writers was a Mexican-American woman? Not a white woman so not only does that story have a white savior complex it was also white washed to make it more marketable. 

Here are a list of movies NOT to watch: 

- Freedom Writers

- The Help

- The Blindside 

- Dangerous Minds

- Green Book

Here are a list of movies to watch:

- 13th

- Clemency 

- Miss Juneteenth

- Rest in Power: The Trayvon Martin Story

- Seven Seconds 

- Get Out 

- The Hate U Give

- Watchmen

- Selma 

- Just Mercy

[gracefully-juliet]

Advice for girls in their 20′s

So I asked a facebook group I am in about advice they would give to a girl in her early 20’s (aka me) and here are about half of the responses. This post blew up and there were so many responses that I couldn’t include them all. If this post does well I will post some of the other advice that was given. 

- Make as many mistakes as you can. Learn from them.

- Who you are is not who you will be. Growth and change are good and necessary. Lean into it and forgive every former version of yourself for not knowing yet. Love her.

- Travel! See the world! Be adventurous!

- Learn your strengths- advocate for your life to organize around those.

- What someone thinks about you is their problem, not yours. And- don't be afraid to stand up for yourself!

- It’s not a death sentence to not be married before 30.

- Never marry anyone who won't do their share of household chores or who tells you that their mom always did everything for them!

- Resist any narrative that tells you to tear down other women.

- Diets are a stupid waste of time.

- Love. Yourself. You are amazing. Your life can be whatever you want it to be, so dream BIG.

- It’s ok to say “no” and set boundaries—with family, with romantic partners, at work, wherever.

- Listen to your gut.

- What other people think about you is not nearly as important as it might feel right now. Also, other people are often just as insecure or don't think about you as critically as you imagine they do.

- Do. Not. Be. Quiet. Speak your mind, build strong friendships, and take care of your mind and skin. ❤️ 

- Don't marry the person "just because they asked". Marry them because they are a compliment to you. Because they challenge you. Because they love the you that you are in all your uniqueness. And do the same for them.

- Trust your instincts. They are always valid

- Validate your own feelings, process your pain instead of minimizing it, and you will be able to empathize with others more strongly. Emotional literacy is important.

- Also, your intuition is important. Red flags come up for a reason, and people who are trustworthy will want you to acknowledge your intuition.

- God gave you instincts for a reason. Don’t be afraid to listen to them.

[gracefully-juliet]

I’ve just had a lot on my heart lately. I need to blog about it but perhaps now is the right time because i am procrastinating on my paper.

How do we treat each other? Scrolling on Twitter, tumblr, snapchat, facebook, etc. all I see is negativity. Putting people down and harassing other members. Why do we treat each other like this?

Have we forgotten that we are all human? Have we forgotten that we all make mistakes? What about learning from our mistakes?

[gracefully-juliet]

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately (now before anyone groans it’s not a conspiracy theory). I am really struggling with online learning and I’ve made it very clear to many classmates, friends, and professors. We’ve all expressed the same feeling of being stressed or feeling like we are being over worked since we are online. I even know that some professors are deciding to give us more work then normal because they want to fill the gap of time that we’re not in class. The problem is when every professor does that it becomes very overwhelming very quickly. When you assign over 15 videos a week to watch (not an exaggeration btw), plus a chapter to read, 2 video quizzes, 2 paper assignments, and a discussion board along with normal lectures it becomes extremely difficult to get through normal day to day tasks. Especially since that’s only one class and most students are in 5-6 classes a semester. I understand that professors are under stress from administrations to keep classes invigorating, and “normal” to keep up the standards of academic excellencey. But this is doing more harm then good for students. This is not keeping into consideration students who need to work because they no longer have a meal plan, housing, electricity, wifi, heating, air conditioning, etc. This is not keeping into consideration for students who have difficult home lives and they can’t get any work done without being yelled at. What about the students with unsupportive parents who have no where else to go? What about students who have anxiety which is exasperated because of the pandemic, social distancing, and stay at home orders. What about faculty who have these similar issues who are now being forced to upload more materials then they planned to?

We need to help each other during this time. We need to give grace and let people know that whatever they’re feeling is okay. We need to remember not everyone is as blessed as we are. We need to allow some leeway for people. We need to remember students, professors, faculty, etc. are human.

In the meantime enjoy this graphic!

[gracefully-juliet]

Self Care is Important:

Watching shows that are wholesome and make you feel good

Putting out clothes the night before work or school

By not making self-care a special event so you can practice it at all times

Baths (bubble baths, baths with book, or wine)

Trashy novels (we all have guilty pleasures)

Skin Care Routine (it’s super important!)

Drinking water

Gardening

Buying ‘useless’ but fun items

Forest Bathing

Taking a really long shower and making sure to exfoliate, shave, and condition. (all the things that make you feel nice and clean)

Putting on makeup

Painting nails

Meal Planning

Just getting out of bed

Eating

Lush shampoo bar for hair and the smell is relaxing bc of essential oils

Drives alone at night

Laughing-listening to comedy shows

Playing with children

MMMBop

Thinking about life

Going back to childhood places and thinking about childhood memories

Taking the trash out

Cleaning your bedroom

Having a clean workspace

Drinking tea

Going out of town for a little while

Putting on fancy clothes

Re-reading good old books

[gracefully-juliet]

I had to go to the store today to get some necessities. I decided to go to Target since it’s usually always in stock and it always has a nice, uplifting atmosphere. When I got there I saw employees scattered around trying to make themselves busy or sanitizing everything. There were a couple of people in the store but it was empty. It felt truly horrifying. The reality of the current situation we are in truly sunk in after seeing that.

I sat in my car for maybe 5 minutes after trying to come up with words which express my emotions. I can’t come up with the right ones. When I got home I didn’t unload the car for 10 minutes. I sat trying to come up with words to explain how I’m feeling and once again I can’t come up with the right ones.

So let’s start with i statements I guess. I feel lost. I feel hopeless. I feel saddened. I feel robbed. I feel heartbroken. I feel stressed. I feel worried. I’m scared for online classes and there’s a reason I’m not an online student. I don’t want to pack up my dorm room because sometimes it feels more like my home than my parents house. I don’t want to say goodbye to my roommates because they’ve become like sisters to me. I don’t want to get rid of my meal plan because I don’t have money to buy groceries. I don’t want to wash my clothes at home or at a laundry mat because it costs money that I don’t have. I don’t want to stop being a tour guide for the semester because some of my friends are graduating and I will probably never see them again. I don’t want to say goodbye to so many friends, pals, and sisters many of whom I may never see again once they move home or to their new job. I can’t stress how scared I am for online classes and how worried this will affect my gpa. It’s Monday and classes weren’t scheduled to start until Wednesday and I already have assignments due. I have a national case study that’s campaign is happening now and I can’t have events for it. This sucks, but it could be worse.

I’m glad Ashland is taking proper care of the students who go to the university. I’m glad AU has done what they feel proper. I’m glad we are taking this seriously because this is serious. Years from now we might be able to say we overreacted but truth be told we will never know if we truly overreacted since this will hopefully flatten the curve. It will look like we actually overreacted when really it just worked. Years from now it would have been evident if we underreacted. I’m just glad we are reacting before it’s too late.

I’m glad I have a loving God who can cast away my anxiety. I’m glad I have a loving God who can never leave my side. I’m glad I have a loving God who never fails to make me feel better. I’m glad I have God for without him I would be truly hopeless.

- a hopeful college student sharing some words phrased terribly who didn’t check for grammar through tears🙃

P.S enjoy these pictures of me from some of my favorite terrible pictures

[gracefully-juliet]

[gracefully-juliet]

Something I’ve been thinking about is what I do when I’m feeling sorry for myself.

1. Pout for a couple days

2. Eat lots of ice cream

3. Uh??

Pouting and eating ice cream may be enjoyable in the moment but in the long term that will not help me feel better. So I’ve been brainstorming how will I help myself and feel better at the same time both momentarily and for the long haul?

1. Pout for a couple days but then be happy. Even if I have to fake it eventually it will find it’s way back to me.

2. Eat some ice cream in moderation for dessert AFTER a healthy meal.

3. Journal my feelings, thoughts, and ideas while I’m upset but also when I’m happy, and blog some of these things!

4. Reflect back on better times and ways I can get back to that.

5. STOP LISTENING TO SAD MUSIC! Blog about happy music instead! Make a fun playlist etc.

Who knows if this will even help, but I think it’s a step in the right direction. We can’t focus too much on the bad things in life or it will literacy overcome us. Jesus died for me and for my life, so I best live it in the greatest way I can. And when I’m sad and pouting about things that’s not the way.

[gracefully-juliet]

Something that’s been tugging at my heart that I feel called to write about is Christianity and Anti-depressants.

I’ve heard time and time again that antidepressants mess with your body, your brain, and you lose your faith. It apparently destroys your mind. If you use antidepressants you must not Love God with all your heart. You must not have enough faith in Him.

It’s time we stopped this anti-medication rhetoric because guess what? It’s all FAKE! If my appendix were to burst would these same people say that I should start praying and do nothing else? No! They would tell me to get to the hospital to have surgery! They would pray for me just as much as I would be praying too.

So why do we treat mental health like it’s something to be ashamed of? At the end of the day it’s health that we need to be take care. There’s no reason to be ashamed of taking care of yourself.

[gracefully-juliet]

i’ve thought about a lot of things lately and ive wanted to write about all of them but i’ve been too busy. which is exactly what I want to talk about! what is being “too busy?” how can we be too busy? we have 24 hours in a day and if we get 7-9 hours of sleep we still have plenty of time in the day. we work, we complain, we go home, and complain. perhaps this is just my personal experience but THERE ARE 24 HOURS IN A DAY!!!! I have so much time to do things like write blogs, color, face masks, and enjoy coffee. I have enough time! if i start to say “i wish there was more time in the day.” please slap me because there is enough time! if i’m getting to the point where i need more time in the day it means something’s wrong...i am overworking, i am overinvolved, i am overdoing, etc. that can all lead to burnout! which is something no one wants!

i think that read more like a rant than a blog post but it’s true. we have so much time in a day. so take care of yourself today, because you have enough time in a day to. self care is literally an investment back into yourself.

[gracefully-juliet]

Short and sweet blog post today but my dog Luna has reminded me about love while I’ve been home for a doctors appointment. The moment I got home she freaked out and wouldn’t let me put her down. She was in my lap and going wild. As she calmed down she just never left my side. she slept next to me all night and hugged me the rest of the time. Her head is always on my chest or my leg. Earlier today she put her head on my chest almost as if she was listening to hear my heartbeat. She’s a wonderful reminder about love and what it means to love. She’s my little Luna girl.