harryxmarvel

[harryxmarvel]

Can you do an angst piece where they have a 3 year old and everything has been really crazy but H is spending the most of his time working and not helping y/n? Bonus points if an ex girlfriend comes back into the picture

Can you do an angst piece where they have a 3 year old and everything has been really crazy but H is spending the most of his time working and not helping y/n? Bonus points if an ex girlfriend comes back into the picture

Expect

Summary : Harry prioritised work over his family

Pairing : famous!Harry x reader!y/n

Warning : but of angst, fluff , none of the personalities of the characters are real. Purely fictional!

A/n : not really an angsty piece tbh but hope you like it :)

My masterlist

Taking care of a three year old while being 5 months pregnant is not an easy task and while y/n had been down playing it as no hard work to everyone asking her ,it was bad. With a popstar husband busy writing the album of the year he seems to have neglected his family and was yet to realise it.

Although y/n was working from home she missed dressing up and going out and enjoying the weather or having her favourite ice cream in the park. But the most she missed was her husband who was working late yet again he couldn't join them for dinner. Their little baby daughter asking for her father before her bedtime for a kiss but how could y/n explain to a three year old that he was working, he was so busy to take some time to spend with his family.

It made her think back to the time when they decided to have a kid and Harry promised to always be there for them but now y/n was worried. Sure he always came back but she needed him here. She needed him when her morning sickness left her tired, she needed him to help her around the house and most of all she needed him to take care of Avery and her even for just a minute.

Her swollen ankles and the bump making it hard for her to do things in their house but Harry had no idea as he climbs into bed at 4 in the morning apologizing for waking her up and by the time y/n wakes up to prepare Avery's breakfast and lunch he was already long gone.

Y/n doesn't even remember the last time they had an actual conversation face to face. He sends texts every now and then to check up on them but that was it.

Y/n was in the shower, she swore off baths since she couldn't get up on her own and had a wave of mood swings had hit her so she had called crying to Harry to come help her up. It was a fond memory now they laugh about. She hears the bathroom door open sending her in high alert as to who it could be. No one has the key or the passcode to the front door except Harry but he was at the studio so who could it be?

She silently peeks through the shower curtain to find Harry with an apologetic look on his face. "Hey, what are you doing here?" Y/n asks suddenly very aware of the fact she was naked with how Harry was eating her with his eyes. The water droplets and pregnancy glow was making Harry crazy enough he was half hard but he gulps it down stammering as he speaks "wow, you are glowing baby." He says eyes running all over her body. And y/n blushes because truth was with how busy he was they hadn't had sex in weeks and Harry loved to love on her when she was pregnant knowing she has some doubts about her body changing. "I just ......I didn't know, I'm sorry. We were just there to celebrate and she just -" Harry stops mid sentence at the confused look on y/n's face as she wraps herself in a towel.

"H, what are you talking about?" She asks getting out of the shower with harry helping and walks towards their closet grabbing a pair of underwear and Harry's shirt as she takes a seat on the bed.

He looks guilty as he murmurs something trying to get away from this situation but he perks up when he sees her questioning look"Kendall...." Was all he had to say for y/n to realise he had messed up big time.

Kendall was obsessed with Harry and she was Harry's last ex-girlfriend before he found his soulmate. Y/n had nothing against her untill Kendall decided to ruin their life by constantly showing up on their dates making both of them uncomfortable. Kendall even turned her whole mass of fans against y/n when she found out they were engaged. She had been trying to sabotage their relationship from the start and against all odds y/n and Harry were truly happy and tried to deal with the situations calmly. But y/n was human too she was jealous when some other woman's hands lingered a bit long for her liking or the eyes on him as he works out or goes out for a walk but she never complained about it and accepted that this was who he was. The was a celebrity and people were always going to be curious about him and his life which she was a huge part of.

But to know he was out partying all night celebrating a song they completed with Kendall of all people broke her poor tired heart. She sits in silence as Harry looks distressed waiting for her response. Y/n never raised her voice. Even with Avery she was firm but her voice never raised so he was a bit taken aback when he hears her "How long are you going to keep doing this Harry?" She had asked anger evident in her tone.

Harry had told everything that happened how Kendall was stuck beside him all night and got really drunk enough to try to kiss him which he thankfully dodged but the pictures on the internet looks like they were kissing but Harry promised y/n that didn't happen.

"Why do you keep letting her mess up our lives? How long do I have to act like it doesn't faze me? I know you wouldn't cheat but I don't trust her. We had this conversation years ago H and you keep doing this again and again it's so hard for me to believe she just keeps coming back after so many rejections from you." With doubt in her voice y/n avoids his eyes, hers filled with tears.

"no baby, I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. Kendall is nothing to me. You know I try to avoid her as much as possible" he says firmly making his point but that wasn't the biggest problem.

"It's not just that...." Y/n had been wanting to talk to him about his distance but with how unavailable he was they hadn't had a proper conversation in days.

"What is it?" Harry asks with worry.

"I get it, I really do. I get that people expect from you. I know you are working hard to provide for us but you are getting too involved to even spend time with us Harry. It feels like you don't care about us anymore. Of every person who expects from you, as your family don't we have the right to just expect you to be here for us?" Y/n questions her eyes meeting his stunned ones as he swallows the new information.

His heart beating rapidly as y/n doesn't wait for his reply as she walks out of their shared bedroom.

Harry stands still in his spot, seconds pass....minutes pass as y/n's words keep echoing in his mind and he sees it . How he had been neglecting his family. Harry is left with guilt as he thinks about how he hadn't been present at all to help y/n. He didn't even know her cravings or how the last ultrasound was. He didn't know if their baby was healthy and it teared him apart.

He falls on his knees as realisation hits him, he was going to lose the love of life. His glossy eyes decipher his little baby running towards him with a stuffie tucked under her arm as she hugs him tight. "missed you daddy" Avery sweetly says nuzzling her face into her father's neck as Harry hugs her tight scared he might lose her soon.

It was right then harry decides to honour his vows. Like he should have before. He vowed to always always be there for her and promised that y/n and their future family will always be his first and foremost important priority.

The next few days he stays home and takes care of Avery and helps y/n around the house. But she still wasn't convinced and wasn't talking to him. When he tucks Avery after reading her a bed time story he finds his wife cuddling under the blankets with a romcom playing on the tv.

He sits beside her and pulls her closer and y/n immediately relaxes beside him nuzzling further into his warm chest. Harry cradles her bump as he says "I'm sorry baby, I really am. I'm sorry i didn't realise it sooner. I'm going to be here from now on. You guys means the world to me and you are everything i need."

"It's okay bub, I'm glad you are here now that's all that matters" y/n says lightly kissing his jaw.

Harry cranes his neck and finally attaches his lips with hers. Their lips move in sync as harry pulls y/n onto his lap his hands roaming around her body settling on her bump.

"I love you" harry says eyes meeting hers and y/n whispers the words back and reattaches their lips.

Y/n was glad harry came back. He kept his words and promises and started working less hours, cooked breakfast for them, dropped Avery at her preschool , took care of y/n and they finally felt like a family again.

A/n: I hope this was up to its expectations anon. since most of you voted for happy ending, but some of the requests may have a sad ending.

send in any requests:)

[harryxmarvel]

I cannot get over how amazing this fic is!!!!

Does It Hurt? BONUS CHAPTER: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Sex Pollen Fic

Summary: When you're finally out of HYDRA's clutches, the recovery process drives you and Bucky farther and farther apart. You can't decide if what you felt between you was real or chemically-induced. What will it take to sway you?

Read the first part here.

Warnings: angst, unprotected sex (non-descriptive), profanity, no use of y/n, MINORS DNI, 18+!!!

Word Count: 12.4k

A/N: The fic is up and only five hours late 🫶🏼

There was a time when Bucky Barnes felt like everything just might turn out okay for him. It was brief, fleeting, but it was a time he remembers well. It was the night he had you on the back of his bike, with his helmet protecting your head and your arms wrapped tightly around him. He may have just pistol-whipped the son of a bitch who was so damn insistent on feeling you up, but he didn’t feel an ounce of guilt over it. He only felt an unfamiliar warmth everywhere that your body made contact with his as he pushed past the speed limit on the highway. Something about it all felt so…good. The two of you were halfway back to the tower when he came to the conclusion that he actually felt normal with you on the back of his bike. He didn’t feel like he was over a hundred years old and stuck in the wrong century. He didn’t feel like he had committed an atrocious number of human rights violations, and all for the wrong side of history. He didn’t even feel like he was an unforgivable, unfixable product of experimentation. He felt like his old self, before the serum was ever introduced into his system, before he lost his arm. He felt like Bucky Barnes with a pretty girl pressed against him, and truth be told, he hated it. He hated the way that this odd feeling that he might be okay, that life could maybe turn out fine for him, seemed to be inexplicably linked to you.

The soft cushion of Dr. Raynor’s office couch molds to Bucky’s shape as he sinks down into the center of it, parting his knees and turning his head to the left to take in the rolling gray clouds outside of the wall of windows. He doesn’t want to be here today. He knows it’ll start raining by the time his session ends, yet he still chose to take his motorcycle out for the half-hour away from the tower. He’ll get stormed right off of the highway, and he doesn’t really give a shit about it.

When Dr. Raynor walks in just a moment later, she can sense Bucky’s foul mood immediately. It makes the air in her office feel stale and stagnant. If she was a more spiritual person, she would probably aggressively sage the space after the session. Dr. Raynor moves to her seat across from the couch and takes in the sight of her client. He sits on the couch, looking almost defeated, with a dark outfit to match his dark aura. Dark boots, dark jeans, and a dark shirt beneath a dark leather jacket.

“The funeral isn’t until Saturday.” Dr. Raynor begins the session, flipping open the notebook on her knee and balancing a pen atop it. Bucky turns his head, looking across the room at her with a raised brow and pursed lips. “Aren’t you dressed for it a little too soon?” He scoffs at the dig, turning his head once more to watch as the first drops of rain begin to fall from the gray sky.

“This is how I always dress.” Bucky argues, but there’s little effort in his tone. He doesn’t really care what she thinks about his wardrobe.

“You’re wearing the leather jacket today. Are you riding your motorcycle in this weather?” Dr. Raynor presses on, still choosing to focus on his clothes. Bucky rolls his eyes before dropping his gaze down to where his hands rest on his thighs. He starts tugging his gloves off one at a time before dropping them on the couch beside him.

“A little rain won’t ruin a ride.” He responds dryly. Dr. Raynor cocks her head to the side at his dismissal.

“I’m starting to think you have a death wish. Do you really think your team wants to attend two funerals in the same month?” Bucky only shrugs at her question, so up the pen goes and she begins scrawling away on the blank page. Bucky scowls, dropping his shoulders and scrunching up his face.

“Really, doc? I thought you stopped doing the passive aggressive thing months ago.”

“And I thought you stopped acting like a pre-pubescent boy who doesn’t know how to talk about his feelings.” Dr. Raynor retorts, letting the pen still in her hand and hover over the page. She wasn’t really writing anything of essence, but the trick always seems to work on Bucky.

“I took the bike because it’s loud.” Bucky explains. He reaches up and runs his flesh hand through his hair, messing it up a bit as a sigh leaves his chest. “It makes it harder to hear my own thoughts.”

“What thoughts are you trying to drown out?” She sets the pen down on the notebook and Bucky’s eyes follow it closely. She watches as he wars within himself, as he tries to decide what things to share and what things to bury. Bucky shakes his head like he’s refusing to answer, but then his eyes land on the pen once more and he decides to speak.

“All of them.” Bucky knows that Dr. Raynor hates when he’s vague, even more than she hates when he doesn’t want to talk at all.

“Give me a few examples of the thoughts you’ve been having today.” As soon as she requests it of him, Bucky’s mind is falling into the dark abyss he’s been trying so hard to crawl out of for the past week. He can see everything when he closes his eyes, hear everything that happened replaying all over again.

“Where is she? Where the hell is she?” Bucky yelled out, pushing against Sam’s chest with both hands hard enough to send him crashing into the stark white wall behind.

“Bucky, you have to calm down.” Sam responded, holding his hands up, refusing to physically engage with the raging super soldier. “I’m not telling you anything when you’re in this state, man. You need to sit down and get your shit together.”

“Let me see her.” Sam had never heard Bucky sound so desperate, so fucking devastated.

“Bucky…”

Dr. Raynor can see straight through him. She knows he’s having a flashback just from the pained look in his eyes and the way his hands keep curling into fists and then uncurling just as fast, repeating the movement over and over. She gives him a few seconds, noting the tension he holds in his jaw.

“James?” Dr. Raynor calls his name softly, leaning forward in her chair a little and waving her hand. He blinks a couple of times before focusing in on her face and letting his muscles relax into the couch.

“I’ve been thinking about the first day in the hospital.” Bucky relents. He starts tracing the golden crevices of his vibranium arm with his flesh index finger, avoiding Dr. Raynor’s gaze.

“What about it?”

“They wouldn’t let me see her.” He shrugs, as if the events of that day are common knowledge. Bucky hasn’t talked to anyone about what happened after HYDRA’s bunker was blown to shit. He awoke in a hospital room almost twelve hours after being pulled from the rubble semi-conscious and heavily sedated. He ripped his IV out, broke the metal IV pole off of the hospital bed, and threatened to take down anyone and everyone who stood in the way of him getting to you. Luckily, Sam never relayed that story to Dr. Raynor.

“That’s what’s on your mind today?” Dr. Raynor is suspicious, as always. With a patient like Bucky, there’s always more to the story that he’s building in his head. He leaves out details like the details are what will crucify him in the end. She watches as he shifts in his seat. Bucky leans forward slowly, resting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together in front of him as he drops his head down.

“She has some memory loss, it’s hard to know how much when she doesn’t want to talk to anyone.” The doctor said quietly, folding his hands together in front of his white coat as he addressed the group.

“What do you know for sure?” Fury asked, needing something concrete. He came here for a solid update and he was damn sure going to get one. You’d been in this hospital for three days since the HYDRA bunker was destroyed and every update that he got over the phone seemed to have less and less information, so Fury drove himself down here this time.

“She remembers the morning of the day she was taken, she mentioned going to the gym that morning and having a shower after. She said her hair was tangled.” Bucky felt his heart thumping hard against his ribcage, threatening to break free at the doctor’s words. You remembered that morning, the morning you touched his scars. “She’s been able to retain her memory of everything that’s happened since she arrived here, but she doesn’t seem to have any recollection of what happened while she was held captive.”

“That might be a good thing.” Sharon pointed out, earning her a various array of looks from the group. “What? We all know what HYDRA is capable of, it might be for the best that she doesn’t remember it all right now.”

“She’s right. While the amnesia could be the result of a minor brain injury or whatever drugs they were pumping into her system down there, it could also be the result of a sort of psychological protection mechanism.” The doctor explained carefully.

“You’re saying she could be blocking out whatever happened to her because she doesn’t want to remember it?” Sam asked, with worry etched into his features. The doctor nodded slowly, before stealing a look at the only silent one in the group, the super soldier who stood with his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes narrowed.

“I hope that’s not the case, but yes, she may not want to remember.”

Dr. Raynor is snapping her fingers this time, dragging Bucky back out of his head and into the present reality. Thunder rumbles in the distance and the wind shifts so the rain starts coming down sideways, pattering against the wall of windows to Bucky’s left.

“You keep zoning out.”

“They wouldn’t let me see her because they were scared that her seeing me might trigger some traumatic memories.” Bucky says suddenly, turning his head to glance out at the brewing storm. “They wanted me to stay away.”

“And that made you feel—”

“Like shit.” Bucky finishes Dr. Raynor’s sentence quickly.

“Understandably so. Have you seen her since the explosion?” She questions, turning her head to gaze out at the gloomy weather as well. Bucky shakes his head, watching as a bolt of lightning flashes across the sky but doesn’t quite reach the ground.

“No.”

“But isn’t she back in the tower now?” Bucky nods, catching Dr. Raynor’s eye for a brief moment. “So, you’re avoiding her?”

“I’m giving her space.”

“Did she ask for that?”

“It seems like the right thing to do.” Bucky shrugs, picking at the seam of his dark jeans.

“The right thing for who? For her? Or for you?” Dr. Raynor narrows her eyes, slowly beginning to understand what’s going on here as she continues on with her line of questioning.

“I don’t know.” Bucky admits gruffly. He knows Dr. Raynor is figuring his shit out and he can’t stand it. He starts pushing up from the couch, coming to stand in front of it as he scoops up his gloves and begins tugging them on.

“We have another forty-five minutes, James.”

“I have to cut this one short, don’t want to get stuck in a flood on the bike.” He says smoothly, his eyes flitting toward the door as he speaks.

“You won’t be able to avoid her on Saturday.”

“I doubt she’ll be going to a funeral for the man who had a hand in drugging her.”

“He was an undercover agent and he played a pretty big role in keeping her safe in that bunker.”

“I know.” Bucky mutters, acknowledging those facts but refusing to let them paint the man in a better light. He may have been a double-agent for SHIELD, but he still let things go too far with HYDRA. He could’ve contacted Fury to send in the rescue team so much sooner than he did, he could’ve spared you the entire final night in that damn concrete bunker, but he chose not to. He chose to give each of you the injections and leave you together to do exactly what HYDRA wanted. He’s as guilty as everyone else that died in that bunker.

            You’ve always loved bad weather. You love the way the sun disappears behind rows of thick, dark clouds, the way you can taste the rain in the air long before it ever begins to fall, and especially the way you can feel the vibration of thunder deep in your bones when a storm is really close. Even now, as a storm is rolling in, your inner turmoil can’t compete with the peace that’s washing over you in waves. You relish in it for a moment, that recently unobtainable peace.

            “You know, being out here under all of these big trees in weather like this isn’t really a good look. Someone might think you wanted to be struck by lightning.” Sam’s voice is light and playful as he approaches from behind. You wonder just how long he’s been standing around in the woods watching you, because if he had been walking, you would’ve heard the sounds of rustling leaves and snapping twigs. He raps his fist against the trunk of the tree you’ve chosen to lean against for the time being. The bark is digging into the thin fabric of your shirt and probably adding to the bruises you already have underneath, but you remain still.

            “I was going to head back in soon.” You assure him, crossing your arms over your chest and letting your eyes roam over the expansive landing strip out ahead of you. Short of breaking onto the roof of the tower and pissing off a very unwelcoming security team, standing out here at the edge of the woods overlooking the landing strip is the best way to observe an incoming storm. Sam moves to stand beside you, crossing his arms over his chest to mirror your position as he gazes out at the gray clouds rolling in. It’s quiet for a moment as he soaks in the view, coming to understand why you like hiding out here from time to time.

            “You don’t have to go to the funeral on Saturday, no one expects you to.” Sam says softly, so softly that you wonder if he actually meant to say it out loud. A tired sigh pushes past your lips and you let your eyes flutter closed, resting your head back against the trunk of the tree.

            “I know.”

            “You could talk to me, you know? I know you haven’t really talked to anyone, and you probably don’t want to, but if you decide that you do, I can be a vault. You could just dump all of your shit on me and I can lock it away.” It’s silent again after he makes his offer, until a loud crack of thunder sounds not too far off in the distance. You turn your head to face him, noting the concern in his eyes at the imminent storm. You know his offer is genuine. He wouldn’t repeat your words to a single living soul, you’re sure of that. And he’s right, you haven’t talked to anyone. What the hell is there to talk about when you barely remember anything? The bits and pieces that you do remember don’t even make much sense. “We should head back to the tower, I don’t trust that thunder.”

            You walk side by side in a comfortable silence for the first thirty seconds, until a light drizzle of rain begins to fall on your shoulders. Sam picks up the pace as soon as he feels it, but you noticeably slow down. He’s just a few steps ahead when you start to remember something, the feeling of dust and debris raining down on you from above. You stop entirely now, squeezing your eyes shut as the rain begins to fall a little harder and your shirt starts to soak through. You hear Sam call your name but it sounds so distant as you fall into a lost memory you want so badly to retrieve.

            You didn’t feel the blast, you barely even felt the impact of your body slamming against the concrete wall. All you felt was the loss of Bucky behind you. He was there one minute, and the next he wasn’t. Even as the walls and ceiling came crashing down all around you, on top of you, he was the only thought on your mind. You were trapped with one hand outstretched and the other cradling his dog tags in an open palm. Dragging your thumb over the inscription on the tags was the only thing you could do. Over and over again you traced his name, telling yourself that if you were still alive in the rubble, then so was he. So was he.

            You’re suddenly aware of the rain pouring down, soaking into your clothes and shoes more and more with each second that you stand still in the woods. Your right hand is pressed against the front of your shirt, feeling the outline of the dog tags hidden underneath. You don’t know when you started wearing them, but ever since you woke up in the hospital, you didn’t feel right taking them off. Sam stands in front of you with widened eyes and his hands on both of your forearms.             “You remembered something.” He says incredulously, staring into your eyes with a mix of hope and concern. His eyes dart down to where your hand is pressed against your chest. He can just barely see the glint of a silver chain peeking out around the neck of your shirt, but he focuses his gaze back on your face, not wanting you to know that he knows exactly what hangs around your neck. He was the one that found you in the ruins of that decimated concrete bunker, the first one who saw the light of the early morning sun glinting off of the metal tags.

            “I remembered something.” You affirm, nodding your head slowly. Your hair is dripping at this point, and a chill spreads throughout your body as the rain begins coming down in sheets. As you and Sam make your way back to the tower, all you can think about is the feeling that came with the memory. Hope. You wanted Bucky to survive, you needed him to survive. Even as you laid there, unsure if you were going to live or die yourself, he was the one you were thinking about.

            Bucky isn’t a very big fan of elevators. He stands in front of one now, watching as the floor number ticks down slowly above the doors. Why the hell did Stark design this tower to be so damn tall? Who really needs this many floors? Bucky’s contemplating taking the stairs when he hears a loud clap of thunder followed by one of the glass doors across the foyer sliding open. He sees you before you see him. Your jeans are thoroughly soaked through, looking a couple of shades darker than they probably were before. Your shirt is wet and clinging to your torso, while your hair looks like you just stepped out of a long shower. Bucky takes in the sight like a punch to the gut. It’s the first time he’s seen you since that night, since he saw you ripped away from him and tossed into a concrete wall.

            “I’m not going to make it all the way upstairs like this, I’m cold as shit.” Sam’s voice rings out, just as he’s stepping into the glass door and coming to stand beside you. “I have clothes in the gym, I’m going to go change. Do you want to borrow a shirt?” Bucky’s jaw clenches at the thought of you wearing someone else’s shirt. He wants to look up and see how far the elevator is, to see how much longer he has to stand here feeling like his heart is about to give out, but he can’t seem to tear his eyes away from you. You shake your head and mutter something that Bucky can’t quite make out, but as Sam turns away and heads in the direction of the gym alone, he assumes you told him no.

            Bucky.  You see him as soon as you turn to head for the elevator, and your hand instinctively moves up to brush over the dog tags beneath your shirt. His eyes track the movement even from across the foyer.

            When he realizes you’re still wearing them, he can’t breathe. Bucky can’t fucking breathe because you’re standing there, alive and well, looking at him as you run a thumb over his name, his name that sits right over your fucking heart. Shit. He tears his eyes away from you reluctantly, stealing a glance at the floor counter above the elevator. It’s almost here. He needs to get the fuck out of here now.

            It probably wasn’t your smartest move to rush across the foyer the second the elevator doors opened and Bucky started disappearing from your line of sight. You make it just as the doors are mere inches from closing fully, and you thrust your right arm forward, interrupting the sensors and causing the doors to slide open again. Bucky stands straight ahead with his back against the far wall and his hands gripping the railing on either side of his hips. He doesn’t say a word as you step into the elevator, but he holds your gaze with a steely one of his own. You can tell he wishes you hadn’t hijacked his solo elevator ride, but something in you just wouldn’t let it go.

            It isn’t until the doors close and you’re turning your back to Bucky to press the button for the main living floor that you realize just how stupid your move was. You don’t have to look down to know that you’ve just ripped a few stitches from a deep cut right above your left hipbone. You can feel the warmth of the blood contrasting with the cold rainwater that’s already soaked into the fabric of your clothes. You’re quick to place your left palm over the wound, applying pressure while concealing the fresh blood from Bucky’s sight. You take in a few shaky breaths, wondering what the hell Bucky’s thinking right now. Does he remember everything that happened down there? Would he relay it all to you if you asked?

            Bucky’s biting down on his bottom lip so hard that he questions for a moment if it’s his own blood he smells. It only takes a second, and one swipe of his tongue across his lips, for him to be sure that it’s not. It’s yours, you’re bleeding. You stand a foot in front of him, with your right hand hanging down at your side but your left hand clutching your hip tightly.

            “You’re bleeding.” Bucky says matter-of-factly, like he doesn’t much care if you are or aren’t but he wants to make it known that he’s aware. The fact that he’s speaking at all surprises you, considering he seems to have been going out of his way to avoid you ever since you came home from the hospital a few days ago. You stay still, letting your eyes flit up to the floor counter as you continue applying pressure to your hip with one hand.

            “I’m fine.” You respond through gritted teeth, suddenly finding yourself a little peeved that Bucky wants to speak up now. Another glance up at the floor counter tells you that you’re nearly halfway to the main living floor. A low chuckle sounds from behind you, sending a shiver down your spine, as if you weren’t cold enough already. Bucky watches with veiled amusement as your shoulders tense up in front of him. Leave her alone. Fuck. How can he just leave you alone? Bucky’s pushing away from the wall within a second, taking one big step forward and closing most of the gap between you. He leaves maybe an inch between his chest and your back, but you sense him behind you and instinctively roll tilt your head to the side as your eyes flutter closed. As soon as you’ve made that little movement, you’re wondering why he has that effect on you. You don’t remember ever doing that before, but as far back as you can remember, he wasn’t ever really very close to you before either. Bucky wants to reach up and push your hair away from your neck, to expose the skin there just so he can lay eyes on it one more time, but he won’t.

            “Does it hurt?” The question is tumbling past his lips in a low whisper before he can stop it. That one question is all it takes for your mind to go careening into another forgotten memory. Bucky notices the hand on your bloody hip faltering, so he covers it with his own and applies pressure just like you were doing before. You both stay still like that for a few seconds, with your breaths coming in quicker and quicker as flashes of the past rush through your head. With your eyes closed, you can just barely see the image of your fingertips tracing over the angry scars of his shoulder in a dark room. You squeeze your eyes shut a little tighter and you see your fingertips moving gently down his spine, pressing softly into his warm skin. When you open your eyes again, it’s gone. You’re staring at the closed metal doors of the elevator, almost oblivious to Bucky’s hand over your own on your hip. The elevator slows to a stop and Bucky lets his hand fall away from yours the second the doors start sliding open. He’s gone before you even have a chance to blink. He’s gone and suddenly you’re remembering everything.

            With every up and down motion of the bench presses that Bucky’s doing, he’s slipping further and further into a dark place in his mind. You don’t remember. Just a few hours ago in the elevator, he was sure you were remembering something, but when you didn’t speak up, he knew it was just wishful thinking. Does what hurt? Those were the only three words he wanted to hear from you, and god, he might’ve pressed you against the elevator wall and kissed you right there if you’d said them. But you don’t remember.

            When Bucky switches over to abusing a punching bag, his eyes roam around the empty gym. He switched to an evening workout schedule the day you were discharged from the hospital, not wanting to risk running into you in the gym or the showers every morning like he used to. Still, even when he’s alone, he only sees you everywhere he looks. He sees flashes of everything you’ve forgotten. When he closes his eyes and lies in bed at night, he can almost feel you next to him. He only laid with you for one fucking night and yet, the feeling of you next to him is somehow engrained in his skin.

            “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to work through something with how hard you’re hitting that bag.” Fury’s voice is unexpected, but not surprising when it reaches Bucky’s ears from across the gym. Bucky stills for a moment, steadying the bag with his hands before glancing over his shoulder. He spots Fury instantly, leaning against the wall by the door, typing away on a phone held firmly in both hands.

            “Is watching me workout becoming a hobby of yours?” Bucky asks, turning around fully to face Fury. Fury raises a brow, briefly looking up from his phone screen to make eye contact.

            “Don’t tell me you have performance anxiety. I won’t believe it at all after seeing the video footage from the HYDRA bunker that came across my desk this morning.” Bucky’s frozen in place. Sweat begins to bead across his forehead as his mind races. Fury catches sight of his widened eyes and clenched fists and quickly shoves his phone into the pocket of his jacket, pushing away from the wall to approach Bucky. “Relax.”

            “She doesn’t remember any of it.” Bucky’s voice is tense and edged with frustration as he watches Fury move slowly across the gym.

            “How would you know? You’ve been avoiding her like she has the plague.” Fury points out, crossing his arms over his chest as he comes to a stop in front of Bucky.

            “I know. If she remembered, I would know.”

            “Don’t be so sure.”

            “You think she remembers?” Bucky asks, narrowing his eyes at Fury. They stand only a foot apart now, studying each other carefully.

            “I think you should stop sulking around like she’s forgotten who you are entirely.”

            “I haven’t been sulking.” Bucky scoffs, turning around to leave. He doesn’t have to stand here and listen to Fury’s cryptic advice.

            “You’re singlehandedly the reason it’s been storming almost non-stop since we brought you both home.”

            “That’s dramatic.” Bucky calls out as he rounds the corner, exiting the gym and entering the shower room. Fury mumbles something in response, but Bucky doesn’t strain his ears hard enough to pick it up. Bucky spends far too much time in a steamy shower, gnawing on the inside of his cheek and contemplating ripping the tiles from the shower wall as he thinks about the fact that Fury saw the video footage of everything that happened in the bunker. The fact that Fury saw you at your most vulnerable, you with your legs wrapped around Bucky’s waist, only covered by a thin sheet, actually has Bucky wanting to pluck out the one good eye that the man has left. He doesn’t even want to think about what he saw if he watched the footage from the second time you fucked, when the sheet was long forgotten and neither of you gave a shit. Bucky’s possessiveness is flaring as he pulls his flesh hand back, takes a deep breath, and then thrusts is hard against the tiled shower wall. The crack that’s left matches the one he feels deep in his own chest.

            You’re pissed. You’re tired of everyone tiptoeing around you. You’re tired of Bucky doing everything he possibly can to stay the hell away from you. You’re also really fucking tired of your trainer taking it easy on you. You circle around the man on the mat, stealing a glance at the digital clock on the wall across the gym. You’ve been sparring for an hour now and the man hasn’t landed one hit on you. It has nothing to do with your skill, which is what has you so angry right now. He hasn’t landed a hit on you because he’s barely tried to, and the poor attempts he’s made wouldn’t have even tickled if they’d made contact.

            “Stop going easy on me.” You snap, shooting daggers at the man. He shakes his head.

            “I’m not.”

            “I feel like I’m fighting a five-year-old.” You retort, rolling your eyes at his denial. Does he even realize he’s pulling all of his punches and practically only defending himself? Normally, your trainer is always on the offensive, dishing out attacks for you to combat. You used to never leave a session with him without at least a few new bruises and a plethora of sore muscles.

            “Listen, we’ve been going at this for an hour. You have to be tired, you’ve barely even recovered from everything. Let’s call it a day.” There it is. He’s taking it easy on you because he fears you haven’t recovered. Anger bubbles up inside you as you tug your hair out of its ponytail and stalk away from the ring.

            “Yeah, let’s call it. I don’t think I need your services anymore.” You agree, nearing the door to the shower room.

            “You’re really going to take yourself off of my schedule because I care about you too much to compromise your recovery?” He asks incredulously, holding his arms out at his sides in a sort of what-the-fuck gesture. You shrug your shoulders as you round the corner, already tugging your shirt over your head.

            “Let me know when you actually want to try kicking my ass, until then, I’m off your schedule.” You respond flatly. One of the good things about Bucky avoiding you is that he’s stopped using the gym in the mornings, which means you can strip in the open and spend as much time as you fucking please in the shower, without worrying about anyone judging you for wasting water. As the hot water splashes across your skin, steaming up the air around you and soothing your aching muscles, you find yourself diving right back into the newfound memory you’ve been dissecting for the last two days. Your fingers trace the chain around your neck lightly, following it over your collarbone and down to the metal plates that hang between your breasts. You remember telling Bucky to give them to you. You remember the way he kissed you before placing them around your neck. God, you remember the way it felt when he pushed his tongue past your lips and licked into your mouth like you were a fucking dessert. You don’t really understand how you forgot a kiss like that in the first place, how you forgot a moment like that. And everything that came after? That’s why you’ve been so damn moody for the last two days. The memory of Bucky fucking you not once, but twice, came back in full force that day in the elevator. You couldn’t even respond to his little ‘does it hurt?’ How could you respond when you went from thinking about your fingertips tracing his spine to thinking about how good it felt to sit on his cock? And to think that that’s what happened before he started avoiding you. How. Fucking. Dare. He.

            You’ve barely even had time to deal with the trauma of being kidnapped and held hostage because you’ve been dealing with the fact that you had sex with Bucky Barnes and now you can barely even get him to look at you. In this moment, as you run your fingers through your hair and watch the suds wash down the drain at your feet, you think you might actually hate him.

            There are a lot of reasons that you decided against going to the funeral for the tall, thin man with brown eyes. The first reason being that he’s associated with some very unpleasant memories. Anytime his face pops up in your mind, you can almost feel the pain caused by that injection he gave you not once, but twice. He gave it to you without hesitation, and with little warning as to what you’d experience once it entered your bloodstream. For that, you resent him. Knowing that the double agent would likely have family and friends there, even SHIELD coworkers who adored him, really solidified your decision not to go. You’d stick out like a sore thumb being the only one who wasn’t torn up over his passing.

            So, you stand in the ring with your new sparring coach. He’s a bulky, broad-shouldered man with dark hair and unexpectedly kind eyes. He’s simultaneously the kind of man women would flock to in a busy bar on a Friday night and the kind of man women would be terrified of if they saw him in a parking garage any time after dark. Hopefully, he’s also the kind of man who won’t think twice about throwing you around the ring.

            You move in tandem for a while, with him taking one step forward and you taking one step back. When you throw a right hook, he ducks under it with ease. He’s so quick on his feet that you barely manage to land more than three hits on him in the first twenty minutes. But annoyance is blooming in your chest with each passing second, and it has nothing to do with the fact that he’s faster than you. It has everything to do with the fact that he hasn’t even tried to throw a punch.

            Bucky can hear the commotion in the gym as soon as he steps off the elevator and he pauses right outside the gym door, straining his ears in an attempt to figure out who’s taking up his new evening slot. Everyone went to the funeral as far as he knows, including you. He hears the sound of feet dancing around the sparring mat, two sets of heavy breathing, and then a single sound that he recognizes above any other. A frustrated moan reaches his ears, and in an instant, he knows who it belongs to. He’s shoving the gym door open and stepping in without thinking, his eyes aiming straight for the sparring ring.

            “You let me do that.” You complain, letting go of the man’s arms but continuing to hover over him as you straddle his lower half. The man cocks a brow at you, letting a playful smirk take over his sharp features.

            “I wanted to get a feel for your strength.” He responds coolly, patting your left thigh with the palm of his hand. You roll off of him and tighten your ponytail as he rises to his feet once more. Bucky’s watching the moment unfold as he heads for the punching bags in the opposite corner of the room. He doesn’t normally start a workout with a punching bag, but with how tight he’s clenching his fists right now, he might as well. You haven’t caught sight of him yet, as you stand with your back to the rest of the gym.

            “Let me get a feel for yours, stop holding back.” You bite back. When you turn around to face the man in the sparring ring once more, you catch sight of the lights glinting off of black and gold in the corner of the gym. Bucky. He stands quietly in front of a punching bag, wrapping his flesh hand in a nude-colored wrap as he prepares for his own workout. He meets your gaze just for a second, for one single fleeting second, before he throws a hard punch into the bag, setting it shaking on its hook.

            “I don’t like to dive in full force at the first session with a new client. We can build up to more intense sessions.” The trainer says, drawing your attention away from the brooding super soldier in the corner. You watch as the man runs his fingers through his dark hair and then squares up, expecting you to do the same. You stand still, biting down on your bottom lip as you contemplate his words.

            “So, what are we doing here then? You’re just going to keep letting me take you down and I’m supposed to feel like I had a good workout?” You can’t hide the frustration in your tone, it’s beyond evident. Even Bucky can detect it from across the gym as he throws punch after punch at the bag in front of him. He alternates between watching the bag shimmy on its hook and stealing glances in your direction. The man you’re with looks nothing like the trainer he’s used to seeing you with in the mornings. He heard that you fired the guy, but he didn’t really know that it was true until now.

            “Yeah, and then in our next session I’ll make things a little harder for you.” The trainer answers, circling you in the ring. You stand still, half hoping he’ll swipe your legs right out from under you if you refuse to engage. But of course, he doesn’t. He moves to stand in front of you and grabs both of your wrists, his eyes temporarily zeroing in on the fading bruises you have there, before he places them out in front of you in a defensive position and let’s go. “You’re in your head too much.” It takes you less than two seconds to have the man laid out flat on his back again, with the wind knocked out of his chest and his cheeks flushing pink.

            “Maybe we should give it a rest, and you can come back to kick my ass tomorrow.” You say as you lean over the man and offer him your hand. He grins up at you and pushes your hand away, rolling onto his side before moving to his feet with ease.

            “Why do I get the feeling you aren’t actually going to have me come back tomorrow?” The trainer asks lightheartedly, as he reaches for his water bottle near the edge of the mat. You shrug as you lift the hem of your shirt to dab a bit of sweat from your forehead. Bucky catches sight of the bruises decorating your ribcage and the bandage carefully placed over your left hip, just barely peeking out of the waistband of your leggings. His jaw ticks as he lands an overpowered punch against the bag and hears the sound of the chain snapping above. The bag flies across the room, crashing against the wall before crumpling to the floor. For a split second, Bucky’s right back in that bunker, watching your body fly across the room and come to a screeching halt against a concrete wall. You can tell by the way his muscles tense and his gaze never strays from the bag that he’s having a flashback of some sort. Your trainer is already packing up his bag and stepping out of the ring when Bucky snaps his head back in your direction.

            “If you promise you won’t take it easy on me, I might call.” You assure him, but your eyes stay fixed on Bucky, who looks like he’d happily send you careening into the wall right beside the punching bag if you keep staring at him. The trainer follows your line of sight, noting Bucky’s presence before turning back to you one last time.

            “I can’t promise that.”

            Just like that, the man is gone and you’re sorely disappointed to lose yet another trainer who thinks you’re too fragile to handle even one little hit. You’re tugging your hair out of its ponytail and running your hands through your messy hair as Bucky’s walking across the gym to retrieve the busted punching bag that he sent airborne just a moment ago. You can feel his eyes on your back as you bend over and start scooping up your water bottle and phone from the edge of the ring.

            “It wouldn’t kill you to take it easy, you’re still covered in bruises.” Bucky’s voice is almost unfamiliar to your ears after the way he’s been avoiding you lately. You pause, your hand hovering just over your phone as his words register in your mind. You straighten up and look over to see Bucky dragging that damn busted bag back to the far corner of the gym, not even sparing you a passing glance.

            “I didn’t ask for your advice, and I sure as hell don’t need it.”

            “You don’t know what you need. You’re out here begging a guy nearly twice your size to lay hands on you just to convince yourself that you’re fine.” Bucky spits back, dropping the bag at his feet and finally turning around to face you. His eyes are alight with fire, and the intensity of his stare burns against your face. You narrow your eyes at him and cross your arms over your chest.

            “I am fine.” You huff, sounding every bit as confident as you’d hoped you would. Bucky hates that you think you can lie to his face and he’ll believe every word. That’s the second time you’ve tried telling him you’re fine, the second time you’ve lied to him. He steps over the punching bag at his feet and takes a few steps closer to the sparring ring.

            “Are you? Because the last time I saw you, you tore your stitches just trying to catch the elevator.” He says coldly, letting his eyes dart down toward your left hip. You roll your eyes, and step forward until you’re leaning over the edge of the sparring ring.

            “And just like I said then, I’m fine.” You smile at him, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. It isn’t genuine at all. He can see something else written all over your face.

            “People who are fine don’t beg to be tossed around the sparring ring.” He points out, taking another step closer to the ring. You tilt your head to the side and bite down lightly on your bottom lip. Bucky’s eyes follow every move you make closely. Biting your lip like that almost feels like a personal attack to him.

            “I’m sick of everyone tiptoeing around me like I’ll shatter if I take so much as a deep breath. I can take a few punches, Bucky.” You slip between the ropes around the edge of the ring and carefully lower yourself to the gym floor.

            “I’m sure you can, but that doesn’t mean you need to.” His response is reasonable and it frustrates you further. You’re trying to egg him on and he can see it clearly. It’s why he gives you one last up and down look before shaking his head and turning on his heel. He’s tugging the wrap off of his flesh hand and nearing the door when you decide to come back with a response.

            “So you can encourage me to take your cock but not a few punches from a trainer?”

            He should keep walking. He should be halfway to the elevator right now, leaving you alone in the gym. He should be ignoring your obvious attempt to get him to engage with you, but his entire musculoskeletal system decided to disconnect from his nervous system the moment you said what you just said. You remember. You remember him encouraging you to take his cock. You remember him saying just keep taking my cock as he reached dangerous depths inside you and then praised you immediately after. Heat starts to pool low in your stomach as you realize what you’ve done, as you realize that he knows now. He knows that you remember. Bucky’s demeanor is entirely different when he turns to face you now, the fire behind his eyes burning so bright that you worry the gym might go up in smoke. His next words send a shiver down your spine and a chill coasting over the surface of your skin.

            “Get on the mat.”

            “Tell me what you remember.” Bucky orders, watching you from across the ring as your chest heaves and sweat drips down your temples. You’re hunched over with your hands resting on your knees as you try to catch your breath. He narrows his eyes at you as you shoot him a menacing glare. “Why are you looking at me like that? Did you want me to go easy on you?”

            “You’re fighting dirty.” You accuse, glancing down at your forearms and noting the reddening skin there. He handled you with such a harsh grip that you’re sure you’ll have bruises tomorrow morning. Bucky smirks before crossing the ring in two long strides and tangling a hand in the hair at the back of your head. He tugs upward, forcing you to stand up straight, before tightening his grip and using it to tilt your head to the side.

            “Tell me what you remember.” He repeats, letting his eyes settle on the expanse of your neck. Do you remember him kissing, licking, and sucking the skin there? Do you remember the feel of his stubble scratching at it as he worked his mouth over your pulse? The quickening of your breaths as he holds you this way tell him that you do, you fucking remember.

            “Why does it matter what I remember?” You ask stubbornly, not yet attempting to break free from his grasp. Bucky lets his hand fall from your hair before shoving your back a little too hard, sending you stumbling into the center of the ring. He circles you like you’re some kind of prey and that only serves to stoke the fire in the pit of your stomach. How is he going to go from avoiding and practically ignoring you for days, to demanding shit from you now?

            “Because I want to talk about it.” He sweeps a leg out suddenly, aiming for the backs of your knees but you sidestep and he narrowly misses. You mimic his movements, moving in a slow circle around the ring as you face off.

            “You’ve been hiding ever since I was discharged from the hospital, but now you want to talk?” You throw a poorly executed punch that doesn’t even come close to making contact with Bucky’s solid body. He chuckles to himself and starts to formulate a plan in his head. He charges forward and grabs your right wrist before turning you around and hiking it up your back, pulling you against his chest with little to no effort. His scent envelopes you as he holds you there, with his breath tickling your neck and his knee snaking between your thighs.

            “Do you remember the first night they gave you that injection? The first night they let me see you?” He asks in a near-whisper, letting his lips graze against the shell of your ear. Your eyes flutter closed as you try to ignore his questions and focus on getting out of his hold. He tugs your twisted arm higher up your back and you feel the threat of injury building in the muscles of your shoulder. “Do you remember what I did for you?” As if he can sense how close your shoulder is to snapping, Bucky drops your arm in an instant, but he isn’t done with you. He sweeps your legs out from under you before you have a chance to recover. You go tumbling backward, but his fingers snag on the fabric of the front of your shirt and he catches you by it, before lowering you the last couple of inches to the mat. You lie on your back, eyeing his vibranium arm as he circles you on the floor. You remember what he did for you. You remember it in flashes, but still, you remember it.

            “I remember.” You admit, tugging your bottom lip between your teeth and biting down on it. Bucky scowls down at you before averting his gaze. You don’t miss the way he adjusts the front of his sweats, or the way he clenches and unclenches his fists a couple of times before looking down at you again. When he’s composed himself, he steps closer and offers you a hand. You look at him warily, but place your hand in his. He should’ve seen it coming, but you’re yanking him down on top of you the moment your palms collide and he doesn’t have time to stop you. He lands with one leg between your parted knees and his vibranium hand on the mat beside your head, holding up some of his weight. With your faces only inches apart, neither of you moves at first. Bucky’s studying you closely, trying hard as hell to read the look in your eyes, but he can’t. You skate your right hand over his shoulder, moving down to his vibranium bicep until feel the edge of his shirt sleeve. Hooking your thumb in it, you meet Bucky’s intense stare with a playful one of your own, looking up at him through your lashes. You slide that sleeve up further and further until your fingertips are brushing over his scars. “Does it hurt?” You whisper, tilting your chin up as the question leaves your lips. He’s so close that you could barely move and still, you’d be kissing him. You feel him shudder against your touch before quickly shrugging your hand away.

            “Does what hurt?” He asks, moving his hands down to grip your waist before rolling you over. You end up straddling his lower half, but only for a second before he’s shoving you off and scrambling to his feet. As he tangles a hand in your hair again, you’re starting to wonder if he has some kind of kink for it. You’re getting tired of him playing dirty. You’re getting tired of playing this little game at all, honestly. Why is it so important to him that you remember every detail of what happened in that damn bunker?

            Bucky brings you up to your feet by the hold he has on your hair, just like he did earlier, but this time, he lets that hand loosen its grip and then glide down the side of your neck before coming to rest right around your throat.

            “You look so fucking pretty like this.” He says lowly. The mix of his suggestive tone and burning gaze has that heat in your stomach moving lower and lower until it’s pooling between your legs. “With my hand and my name around your neck.” He whispers the last part, leaning in close to your ear as he adds a little pressure to your throat. You can’t let him win this way, you can’t let him have the last word. So, you raise your right hand to his shoulder and with a few calculated movements of your wrist, his vibranium arm clicks and falls to the floor with a solid thud.

            Bucky’s stunned as he lets go of your throat and watches you slip through the ropes around the perimeter of the sparring ring. His eyes dart down to the black and gold arm at his feet and then back over to you as you head for the door, looking so damn content with yourself. He leans down and retrieves the arm, quickly positioning it for reattachment.

            “Can’t finish the job without the vibranium arm, can you?” You ask smugly, daring to steal one last look at him over your shoulder as you near the exit. You watch as he reattaches the arm and then rotates it fully in a circle around its socket. Something about the entire process is undeniably hot.

            “I finished the job without it the first night that HYDRA gave you the injection, twice.”

            You’re frozen in place as the memory floods in again. It’s not in bits and pieces this time, it’s not in flashes. You have a full body experience as you envision your head falling back against Bucky’s shoulder and his flesh fingers dipping between your legs. Two orgasms. He gave you two orgasms without ever lifting a vibranium finger.

            Bucky sees the shift in your demeanor. He can tell you’re lost in the memory when you don’t even track him as he tugs off his shirt and drops it on the mat before climbing through the ropes and making his way over to you, closing the distance quickly. By the time you’re coming back to reality, his flesh hand is sliding against the curve of your jaw while his vibranium arm is wrapping around your waist, tugging you into him. He kisses you desperately, and you feel the same fireworks you felt the first time he did it in that damn bunker.

            When you kiss him back, he can’t fucking control himself. He’s backing you into the closed door of the gym and tugging on your bottom lip with his teeth before slipping his tongue into your mouth and tasting you. Your lungs are burning for air by the time you realize what the hell you’re doing, and you push your palms flat against his bare chest. He sucks in a deep breath when you part, but it’s not enough, oxygen isn’t enough. You’re the only thing that makes him feel like he’s alive and he fucking needs you. If he could just breathe you in, he’d already be doing it.  

            “I’ve wanted to knock on your door every single night since you’ve been back here, just to ask if I can lay next to you for even a minute.” Bucky whispers against your lips, gently tracing the outline of your mouth with his thumb as he peers into your eyes. You look up at him through your lashes as you take in the confession.             “Why?” You ask, matching the quietness of his tone.           

            “Because I got a taste of what it feels like and I haven’t been able to sleep since.”

            “That’s all you want?” You pry, narrowing your eyes at him and letting your hands wander up to the sides of his ribcage. Something about being so close to him feels right, and yet, you hear alarm bells ringing in your head. You shouldn’t be doing this. You shouldn’t be confusing yourself like this. What happened in the bunker, under the influence of whatever was being pumped into your system, is clouding your judgement. You start to pull away from Bucky, but he refuses to drop the arm he has hooked around your back or the hand on the side of your face.

            “I want so much more than that.” He answers thoughtfully as his eyes dart down to your lips. “But that…I could live off of the feeling I get when I lay next to you for the rest of my life.”

            “Bucky, don’t say shit like that.” You tense up, grabbing both of his arms in your hands and pushing him away from you cautiously. He lets it happen, but he sure as hell isn’t planning on letting you walk out that door. Taking one step back, he notes that you haven’t actually made a move to leave yet, you’re just making sure he stays at arm’s length.

            “You’ll moan my name when I talk dirty to you but you can’t stand when I say something real?”

            “Fuck you. That’s not even real that’s just…you just think it’s real because we were under the influence of such a powerful drug. It’s clouding your memory, making you think we had some kind of real connection when we didn’t.”

            “I haven’t been able to sleep since the last night I laid in bed with you. That’s real.”

            “Okay, but you’ve had issues with insomnia for forever. It makes sense that those issues would flare up after what we went through down there.” You point out, trying to be rational.

            “I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind since the moment I woke up in that damn hospital. That’s real.” He’s going to keep listing things out to counter your argument until one of you runs out of responses. He isn’t going to let you diminish the connection that you had long before HYDRA stepped into the picture. It was real, it’s still real, and he’s clinging to it like it’s a lifeline.

            “You also put all of your energy into avoiding me for the past week. That’s real too, Bucky.” You cross your arms over your chest and lean back against the door, tempted to just throw it open and make a run for your room to get out of this conversation.

            “Because I felt guilty.” He finally admits. He breaks eye contact for a moment, turning to the side and reaching up with his flesh hand to massage his temples with his thumb and middle finger. You take the opportunity to run your eyes down his form, taking in his toned torso and flesh arm as he collects himself.

            “We talked about that already.” You say softly, resisting the urge to reach out and touch him. “And then…” Bucky looks over at you, waiting for the end of your sentence to come. “And then you let me take advantage of you.” You remind him, not that he needs reminding. His breath hitches in his throat just at the mere fact that you’re the one bringing the memory up. You feel powerful for a fleeting second, so fucking powerful for having a visible effect on a man like Bucky.

            “I don’t feel guilty about that part of it anymore, you remedied that.” He assures you, avoiding your gaze. He goes back to massaging his temples like he has a headache and you let your arms fall away from your chest.

            “What do you feel guilty about then?” Bucky shakes his head before the question has fully left your mouth, and you’re starting to sense that you might not get an answer. “Bucky, please.” Fuck. He actually groans at the small taste of your begging, and that only gives him another reason to feel guilty. He takes a few abrupt steps away from you and glances at the clock, noting how much time has passed since everyone left for the funeral. People should be getting back to the tower soon.

            “HYDRA chose you because of your connection to me.” He’s expecting you to be upset, to blame him forever maybe. How dare he put you in harm’s way? How dare he be the reason that HYDRA snatched you off of the street that night? It’s why your soft chuckle has him whipping his head around to see if it’s really coming from you. That soft chuckle turns into an all-out laugh when you make eye contact with him, and confusion begins spreading across his features.             “What the hell did you think I thought? That they chose me because I’m so special and fertile?” You ask, your laugh breaking through every other word. “Bucky, no shit they chose me because I’m connected to you. They knew you wouldn’t have cooperated with just any woman they locked you in a room with.” He’s dumbfounded as he stares at you, truly not understanding how you’re so calm about this.

            “You should be pissed at me.” He says lowly, turning back toward the sparring ring and heading back for his shirt.

            “I’m pissed at you for avoiding me for days, and pissed that you were one of the ones acting like I was a fragile piece of fine China after I got back here. I’m not pissed at you for HYDRA’s bullshit.”

            Bucky continues moving across the gym, and you watch with bated breath as he scoops up his shirt and pulls it over his head. He reaches for your water bottle and phone at the edge of the mats and takes one item in each hand before heading back in your direction, keeping his eyes down.

            “Nothing was your fault, Bucky.” You say softly, as he hands you your things. The genuine feeling in your words, in your tone, has Bucky’s heart clenching in his chest. He knows you mean it, that you believe it, but he can’t seem to find it within himself to agree with the statement. When he finally looks into your eyes, you can tell he’s waiting for you to move away from the door so he can leave. “You were the only reason I survived down there. That’s real.”

            You can tell your words have struck some kind of nerve inside of him, but you step aside anyway, letting him leave through the gym door without so much as letting out a sigh in response to you. How are you the one who feels like shit after that conversation? After he handed you your ass on the mats and then kissed you out of the fucking blue? Oh, right. You feel like shit because he stood in front of you begging you to see how real your connection is, while you attributed it all to the toxin that HYDRA pumped into you. The man hasn’t been able to sleep since he got a taste of sleeping next to you. When he ruined you for any other man beneath a thin white sheet and the weight of his body, you were inadvertently ruining him for everything. You never once stopped to think about the power you hold over Bucky Barnes, until right now. And now, you feel like shit.

            He needs your scent gone. As Bucky stands in the shower in his private bathroom, scrubbing shampoo so deeply into his scalp that even his brain will emanate a scent of cleanliness, all he can think about is the way his skin smells like you. He got way too fucking close to you in the gym. Not only did he get too close, but he went as far as kissing you. What a fucking ass. He’s beating himself up over it as he rinses the last of the shampoo out of his hair and moves on to washing his body.

            You just think it’s real because we were under the influence of such a powerful drug. Your words swirl around in his head, making his temples ache and his stomach churn. It’s not real to you at all. It’s clouding your memory, making you think we had some kind of real connection when we didn’t. Fuck. Bucky slams his flesh hand against the shower wall just like he did in the gym showers not long ago, but this time, it doesn’t crack. What the hell was he thinking talking to you like that? What did he expect to accomplish? Did he really think you’d fall into his arms and tell him everything was real and that you wanted him long before HYDRA ever walked into your life and stole you away? Fucking idiot. He cuts the water off abruptly, snatching his towel from where it hangs over the glass shower door. Maybe next time, he’ll punch that. It’d be satisfying to see the thousands of pieces of glass rain down onto the floor.

            You’re perched on the foot of the bed, replaying the same words in your own head. You were harsh and you regret it. Though you might’ve convinced yourself that your words ring true, that the HYDRA experiment is clouding both yours and Bucky’s judgement and making you feel a connection where there isn’t one, you didn’t have to rain on his parade in such a villainous way. You glance around the dimly lit room, noting the way it doesn’t look all that much different from yours, aside from the distinct lack of décor and personal items. Bucky’s room is quite monotone and depressing, honestly. Maybe he’d sleep better if he had a soft throw blanket or a white noise machine. When the bathroom door handle starts to turn just a few feet to your right, you stiffen but remain seated on the foot of Bucky’s bed, refusing to chicken out now.

            Bucky’s eyes land on your immediately, and that burning feeling takes up residence in his lungs once more. It’s that undeniable feeling that oxygen doesn’t do him a damn bit of good when you’re around. He stops short in the bathroom doorway, holding onto the white towel that’s wrapped loosely around his waist. It dips low enough to show off his v-line and you find it embarrassingly difficult to keep your gaze focused on his narrowed eyes and furrowed brow.

            “Your room is across the hall.” Bucky says flatly, cocking his head in the direction of the door to the hall. You nod slowly, taking his soft rejection and choosing to ignore it for now.

            “You kept telling me what was real.” You start nervously. Bucky narrows his eyes further and you have to look away from him. His hard gaze is enough to make anyone shake in their damn boots, and you’re not even wearing any. You sit on the foot of his bed in a pair of gray sweats and an oversized t-shirt, avoiding making eye contact, and feeling a bit like a fish out of water. But you’re not going to wimp out, not after busting in here like crazy person and making yourself at home while he was showering. “You kept telling me what was real, and I wasn’t listening.”

            “Not listening is kind of one of your things.” Bucky’s tone is still flat and emotionless, though a hint of humor seems to peek through as he taunts you. You nod again, swallowing hard as he crosses his arms over his chest, letting go of the towel. The poor towel is barely hanging onto his hips, and you wonder if Bucky’s even aware that it might slip off at any given moment.

            “You’re right.” You admit, stealing another look at his face. His expression is unreadable. “Which is why I thought I’d ask you to show me something real, instead of telling me something real.” Bucky stops breathing altogether as the words fall from your lips.

            “What?” He asks, seeking clarification or repetition, he isn’t even sure which. He feels the towel threatening to slip down past his hips, so he grabs the corner of it in his flesh quickly, keeping it in place as he stares you down. Your tongue darts out to wet your lips and you shift on the bed, turning to face him head-on.

            “Show me something real. Show me that the connection we felt down there wasn’t just adrenaline and chemicals and HYDRA bullshit.” You can feel your cheeks heating up as you lay out the request in front of him. When he stays still in the doorframe, staring at you like you have two heads, you try one last thing to get him to understand you. You grasp the hem of your shirt in both hands and tug it over your head slowly, tossing the piece of fabric onto his bedroom floor. His eyes follow it like he’s afraid it might start a fucking wildfire the second it hits the carpet. But when he looks back at you? When he sees you sitting on the foot of his bed, in a little black bralette that perfectly cups your breasts with his dog tags hanging down the middle of your chest, the wildfire starts inside of him.  “Show me something real, Bucky.” You plead, taking one last deep breath before deciding to shut up. The ball is in his court now, and whatever he decides to say or do is completely out of your control.

            Your breath hitches in your throat as Bucky’s gaze softens and his eyes flit up to meet yours in what feels like a warm embrace. He takes slow steps toward the bed, never breaking eye contact. When he reaches the foot of the bed, he reaches out with his flesh hand and you lean your cheek against his palm almost instinctively. Even then, you feel it. Connection. It’s like electricity sparking between his skin and yours as he glides his hand down to feel the curve of your jaw. Your eyes are closing at the gentle touch, at the light caress of his thumb over your cheekbone.

            “Do you feel that?” His voice is husky as the question swirls around the space between you. He leans down until his lips are brushing against yours, but he doesn’t kiss you. “Just touching you like this is enough to help me sleep at night.”

            “Bucky.” You breathe his name out as you relax into his touch, and then he’s kissing you. He’s pressing his lips against yours softly at first, pulling back after two seconds to see how you’ll react, but you’re reaching up and grasping his face in both of your hands. You pull him back in immediately, kissing him like you really believe it’s real. It’s real. He moves over you on the bed, laying you down and pushing his tongue into your mouth while keeping his vibranium hand firmly on his towel. You feel the same fireworks from that first kiss in the bunker, igniting in the pit of your stomach and exploding outward, making your skin tingle and your cheeks flush pink.

            “Kissing you like this is enough to make me forget who I used to be.” He whispers against your lips, pressing his forehead against yours before lowering his body down more. You feel his weight settling over you and all you can hear in your head is a repetitive chorus of your own voice saying it’s real. “What more do you need to see that it’s real?”

            Bucky drags his thumb along your bottom lip, tugging it down as he looks into your eyes and awaits an answer. Your hands rest lightly on the bare skin of his sides, but as you contemplate his question, your right hand starts shifting. You slide it further down his side until you feel the fabric of his towel near his hip, then you follow the seam around his front until you get to where his vibranium hand is fisting the corner of it.

            “I need you.”

            Sex with Bucky Barnes is nothing like it was at the hands of HYDRA. With your clothes and his towel long forgotten on his bedroom floor, there’s nothing between the two of you as he shows you just how real your connection is. As he pushes his length into you, pressing his forehead against yours and staring into your widened eyes, you can’t deny it. When he drags his cock right back out at a torturously slow pace, you’ve never quite felt anything like this. It isn’t just the physical aspect of what he’s doing to you, it’s the intimate emotional part as well. He fucks you like…like he loves you. He fucks you like this was all inevitable, whether HYDRA chose you or not, it was always going to end up being you and him.

            Bucky’s committing every second of this time with you to memory. He’s storing it away, holding onto it so he’ll never forget. Bucky never wants to forget the moment that he watched you fall in love with him, right in front of his damn eyes.

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[harryxmarvel]

Thank you 🫶🏻

Harry Styles Fic Recs

FLUFF

husband and wife @harrysfolklore

squishy little marshmallow @finelinevogue

we js met

late night shenanigans

an absolute nuisance

overwhelmed

a Caribbean birthday @finelinevogue

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the morning after @mydearesthrry

honeyed mornings

cherished @justlemmeadoreyou

a montage of love @finelinevogue

ice cold @watchmegetobsessed

orange peel theory @bunnyteetharry

just like, a little crazy @avatar-anna

whipped

golden boy @unabashegirl

i think i love u @harstyle

pretty ^

drunk convos @cupid-styles

protective

there's a version of life that i want, and its just like this @guardarecheluna

sunset loving @cupidsdoll

when not in rome @lilystyles

flirty 30 @gucciwins

lovesick @floralrry

twenty nine @watchmegetobsessed

doctor's orders @tsumtsumrry

moments caught between harry n yn on camera at the brits @avatar-anna

valentine @harrysfolklore

ring hard launch ^

mad man @watchmegetobsessed

notes on love @finelinevogue

tongue tied @finelinefae

always @finelinevogue

drunk in love @harryslittlefreakk

the kisscam @erodasfishtac

positions @justlemmeadoreyou

love @gucciwins

in the stars @musicforastylesrestaurant

airport security

u before me @bunnyteetharry

4 am cry @signoferoda

braving the shadow

ANGST

champagne problems pt2 @avatar-anna

good things take time @watchmegetobsessed

amore mio @floralrry

memories @drewsephrry

cant be with u anymore @lovebittenbyevans

the styles' nanny @harstyle

like gold dust @0oolookitsme

paparazzi @harry-styles-obsessed

shatter my soul @harryxmarvel

[harryxmarvel]

Shatter my soul ~ Part - 2

Summary : Harry has been suffering from an addiction and y/n decides to take time for herself or based on this ask

Pairing: rockstarboyfried!Harry x reader!y/n

Warnings: Angst

My masterlist

Read part 1 here

I love you and I've loved you since the day I met you. I'm sorry i couldn't realise how to be better for you for us when you were here. You were the only one who struck by me through it all and now I'd do the same for you but there are some truths you need to know before. I swore to be honest and I wanna be that way with you because that's the least you deserve.

All those your friends tell you they hate me but they spend the nights you are out in my bed. I had no recollection of the first time it happened. After a particular hars session I was high and drunk i thought it was you but when she showed back two days later I didn't stop it. I should have I knew I should have but I didn't and I don't know why I didn't.

I don't even remember what happened the night before because I was that high. It think I needed osme kind of relief that the drugs couldn't give me or maybe i wanted to hurt you. I'm an arrogant son of a bitch and you shouldn't be with someone like me. You should be with someone who would treat you well and take care of you like you deserve to be. Everyone taught us to chase money for happiness but they have no idea what losing happiness is an that's what's I felt when you left me. The last ounce of happiness walking out of my life leaving me with nothing and I wanted it back because it was everything to be an di didn't even know it until I lost it.

But i was never that kind of happiness to you. You loved doing you job, you lived little things around you that brought you happiness but I wasn't one of them because all I ever did was hurt you.

I wish there will be a day when I get to the place to be someone you deserve. I'll come find you if I ever become worthy of loving you. Untill then if that ever happens I wish you all the happiness because that is all you deserve in this cruel world.

I will always love with my whole heart y/n.

Love, your H

*

I love sunsets, the beautiful hues of colours filling the cloudy sky. Driving out to the suburbs and watching the chemtrails with her little brother every weekend was y/n's favourite thing.

"Harry called me yesterday" he says as he munches his waffles they got on the way.

"He wished me for my birthday and asked about you" he says as he side eyes her trying to see her reaction.

Nate's birthday was ten days earlier but y/n did give harry credit that he had called.

It had been almost a year since she moved away from New York. All she had there were haunting memories she wished to forget. The sun sets as they sit on the back of the truck eating the food. After reading the letter y/n knew what she had to do. And that was to get away from there as soon as possible.

She couldn't believe she had trusted people who would do this behind her back. Y/n thought moving back home would help her mend her broken heart but after weeks of crying over the betrayal and hurt she was numb.

Harry was her home. She doesn't even remember her life before him. 11years through thick and thin all for nothing. She moved out on her own after three months and adopted a puppy to keep her company. She doesn't know she would ever get over him. Would people ever get over their first love. She didn't know but she knew it will be better. It's going to get better.

Harry had been clean since their breakup and she couldn't be more proud of him. They hadn't talked or seen each other in a year. All y/n knew was she was miserable without him. After reading the letter y/n had disappeared from all of her friends life and while they were worried and had spammed her phone like they care she never replied. How do you trust someone when every single person you had trusted had backstabbed you?

*

The city was beautiful after a rain. A chill in the air making harry hug his coat tighter as he walks around. He had been doing well. His next album was ready to be released in few weeks, he was clean for almost two years but the hole in his heart didn't seem to be mending. It only grew bigger every day he was away from her. He knew she wouldn't forgive him. He also knew she was it for him but now it has all gone the drain and he has to live the rest of his life without her.

He stops to get a coffee and his eyes spots a familiar face in the corner her beautiful laugh echoing through the cafe. He spots a blond guy sitting opposite to her and his heart sinks further. Right as he was about to leave y/n's eyes meets his and a smile grazes her features and Harry returns it as y/n turns her focus back to the guy she was talking. Harry is about to walk away when y/n gets up nodding at the guy before hurriedly walking out.

"Hi Harry" she starts and Harry engulfs her in a hug which y/n happily hugs back. God knows she missed his hugs. They just made her feel like she was finally home and safe

"god....I missed you so much, how have you been?" he asks a little hesitant.

"I'm all good, created a whole new life. think I needed the change..." She ends nothing wanting to sound like it was all his fault.

"I'm really really sorry y/n... you were the best thing that ever happened to me and I just can't believe-"

"h, it's okay. I've forgiven you a long time ago." y/n cuts in much to Harry's surprise to hear she had forgiven him. " so how have you been?"

"I have been good, pulled my life together. been sober for almost two years now."

"that's really great to hear h, im so proud of you" y/n says and Harry nods with a smile. It's a little silent as they both decide how to go further from this. harry was in over his head about losing her again because that is what he deserves after everything so he was ready to bid goodbye and leave her life for good but y/n spoke up before him "You wanna grab a coffee?" she asks pointing towards the cafe.

harry was glad to hear y/n still wanted him in her life and vows to never break her trust again and to win back her trust no matter what and y/n on the other hand is ready to try to mend their broken relationship. it will be slow progress but as they sit there laughing as they share their life like they used to they both knew that they will be okay.

A/n : I know you guys wanted Harry to beg to take him back but I made this as them realising they were meant for each other. And the begging gave me another idea for a one shot so see you there. Thanks for the ask anon 🫶🏻

[harryxmarvel]

Harryxmarvel's

MASTERLIST

Sebastian stan /

Bucky barnes

Harry styles

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Last updated ~ April 25

[harryxmarvel]

Is shatter my soul going to have a part two?

Yes I'm halfway done, might post it today or tomorrow 🎀

[harryxmarvel]

https://www.tumblr.com/harryxmarvel/747625944722915328/shatter-my-soul

let homeboy d*e after that who cares lmao

Ahh I wish we could leave it like that 😂

[harryxmarvel]

Okay a part of me wishes she doesn’t go back to Harry because it happened multiple times! I need him to GROVEL and I need her thriving without him please!!

May your wish come true anon 🪄

[harryxmarvel]

Shatter my soul

Summary : Harry has been suffering from an addiction and y/n decides to take time for herself or based on this ask

Pairing: rockstarboyfried!Harry x reader!y/n

Warnings: Angst

A/n: this piece turned so much better than I hoped for.

My masterlist

When they decided to take time for themselves harry and y/n were in a rough spot with not only their 11 years long relationship but their entire life.

After being falsely accused and getting fired from her dream job, gave up any and all hope y/n had as she came home to her love only to find him passed out in the middle of the living room.

His cocaine addiction was getting out of hand so much that he almost died of overdose saved by y/n who decided to come home early for some reason.He swore to never touch that stuff again but there he was high off his mind as he mumbles incoherently lying on the floor a week later.

The next day after getting him sober y/n decided it was best for them to take a break to figure out themselves and their life as she can't stand by him hurting himself like that. Harry had his issues, stress eating him alive at every wake hour ,he decides it was better if he wasn't in his own mind. The cocaine he could easily get his hands on was just a massive perk for him.

It had been a month and half. Y/n got a job at a restaurant and works as a bartender at night. She moved back to her old appartment after their break up and had been doing well on her own. She missed harry a lot even though their good days were well past months she still loved him, still wanted to help him and show him that she was there for him no matter what. She just wished he was doing better too. After their first week of breakup harry had called her high as he mumbled how much he missed her and promised to be better she just hopes he kept his promise.

It was a month later when y/n was at her favourite arcade bar with her friends. The place was a little loud with drunk men drinking beers and shouting at the screens.

They were seated in a booth after a good round of beers and  fun. She was mindlessly talking with her friend klara when the bartender calls her name.

Y/n walks to the bar and the bartender points to the payphone at the corner of the room.

They still got payphones

Y/n thinks to herself as she brings the phone to her ears. The first thing she hears is a sob which sends her into alert. "Hello?" She questions and the person on the other line replies "Baby, it's me.." he sobs out making y/n quiet as he continues "I'm getting sober. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do but I'd do anything for you baby. Just want you back, want to love on you like you deserve" he says breathing hard as y/n finds her words.

"I'm so happy to hear that H. That's what I wanted for you." Y/n says a smile breaking on her face as she tries to calm him down but he doesn't he keeps crying which makes y/n a little scared because it would've been really hard for him to be doing this alone.

Y/n should've struck by him, isn't that what their relationship should have meant. She feels incredibly guilty for walking away when things got worse but she did it wishing for the best and maybe it kinda did work out in the end and now all she wanted was to be with him and show him how much she appreciates him doing this for her.

"I'm gonna be there okay? I'm so proud of you baby" y/n says ready to hang up the phone but harry breaths out before she could "No, no i....you can't....I want you to but" y/n cuts him off in worry "what's going on H?"

"I wrote you a letter"he says and the other end is quiet as he continues.

"I wrote it so I could get everything out. I think?" He sounded so unsure his voice raspier than usual. " It should be in your apartment" he adds and y/n says she would read it and come by his place before hanging up the phone.

She bids goodbye to her friends after explaining them about the situation and then waving her off with a concerned look on their face as y/n walks back to her apartment. She goes through all her mail and finds the one harry had sent. Her name and address on the envelope.

She opens it and it had two sheets folded inside it. She didn't know what to expect as she reads through it.

My love,

             Today has been particularly hard without you by my side. My manager has been pressing me for the next album but how could I think about anything but you. It had been 8 weeks since I last heard your voice and I never knew how much it filled my life untill I couldn't hear it anymore and I think maybe that's what made me want to give up the drugs even if it feels like I'm drowning. I'd do it for you.

I still remember the tears in your eyes when you told me about you ex and how mad it made me. I wanted to bury him alive for hurting you like that. I never wanted to infect any kind of pain in you. I swore I never would when I saw the lack of trust in your eyes.

It killed me to see the smile on your face slowly fading away because of me. I wanted to hold you close and tell you I'd be back. We'll get all of the good times we had together back because that was what you deserved. But I couldn't save myself not for me but for you because you are everything i have left. The only person who stood by me through it all and maybe that's what made me realise I was nothing without when you left.

I was always honest with you even when I was out of my mind i tried to explain what I was feeling. I know you blamed yourself that you couldn't help me but this was my own battle and you were the warrior in the front ready to kill anyone even though you didn't have to. You were always there for me and I'm really sorry if I wasn't baby. Because

 You deserve better than that.

You deserve someone who would be there for you.

You deserve someone who would stay true to their promises.

You deserve someone who would stay good for you.

You deserve better than me.

You deserve every happiness in this world.

She is at the end of the page her soul shattered with each word when a knock on the door pulls her out. She has a few tears falling down her cheeks. She wips them off before opening the door to find her close friend klara.

"Hey , what ar-" y/n is cut off as klara bursts "I need to tell you something"

"Oh okay, come on in" y/n opens the door wider to let her in but klara shakes her head as she continues "No, I just need to tell you this....i" she's breathless and y/n patiently waits for her to continue.

"I slept with harry" she says after a few deafening seconds which stretches to minutes after the words are out.

"It was stupid and I was drunk and it just happened. We were both out of our minds and we didn't know what was happening. I'm really sorry y/n. I didn't mean for it to happen. I'm sorry"

Y/n is still as she listens to her ramble. All of y/n's friends hated harry something about him not treating her right while he was the total opposite.  She never knew why that was but to hear her bestfriend had slept with her boyfriend of years cut deep into her poor heart and the stabs just kept coming.

"It happened a few months ago and I couldn't stop myself from going back. I didn't mean for it to happen y/n you have to believe me" klara begs her eyes welled up with tears.

Y/n couldn't stop herself from thinking how much of a fool she was for thinking all those nail marks on his shoulder, love bites on his jaw and chest were from her when she knew it wasn't. The woman's perfumes he used to smell like made her realise it wasn't just Klara. And one thought kept haunting her mind as she stands on her doorway.

Had she really been that delusional ?

A/n: I think I just broke my own heart 😭. Who wants a part 2?

Check out my masterlist  if you are interested

Support me by checking out my small business

[harryxmarvel]

Bestieee reading Shatter my soul have shattered by heart cause why it has to be so angstyy but at the same time so good!!!! I need part 2 where h nd reader are together but not without h begging for it!!!!!!!! U can write anything but please happy ending:(😔

Thank you❤️❤️ makes me so happy to hear this 💋 the next part will be here soon and will definitely have a happy ending because I can't end it with a sad ending tbh....

[harryxmarvel]

angst rec inspired by Kyoto by Phoebe Bridgers where y/n and H are on a break in their longterm relationship because he’s going through addiction issues and she wants to find herself only to later find out he cheated multiple times within their relationship and she’s second guessing if she ever wants to get back together at all

Thank you for the request anon ❤️

Check out the one shot here shatter my soul

[harryxmarvel]

Broken trust

Summary - Y/n overhears harry calling her annoying

Pairing - Harrystyles x reader!y/n

W.c - 1.5k

Warning - Angst

A/n - First try writing angst

Y/n always felt like she was too much. Even before dating harry.But he told her it was fine to be herself around him.

She was loud, carefree, blunt and sometimes clingy and she knew that.

She knew she was and she tried to keep it at bay. Besides harry had told her that he liked how she was. He liked her character and that's what made her as her.

So she was herself when she was with him and he loved her for it but maybe it does get too much sometimes?

Probably.

So when y/n heard harry talk to a friend about how clingy and loud she could be. How he wished he could take a break from her sometimes. It broke her. She felt her heart rip into two when she heard him say those things to his friend without knowing she was hearing it all.

He had said everything she wished she wasn't but was and she thought Harry had accepted that this was her and loved her for it but maybe not.

With a crushed heart she went back downstairs, silently going back to placing the dishes she prepared for him. Now she had doubts about everything she was doing.

Was her preparing his favourite dish annoying too?

What else did he find annoying?

Did he hate it when she cuddled him?

Did he like the way she laughed?

Did he still love her?

She was staring off somewhere when harry walked down and hugged her from behind bringing her back to reality.

He placed a gentle kiss on her neck his strong arms wrapped tightly around her.

"what's for dinner, baby?" He asks still kissing her neck.

She didn't reply tho, not when she was trying to figure out if he was faking being sweet. Would he say all those things to her face?

Her ex-boyfriends have told her cruel things when they broke it off. It took her months to get over but when she met Harry everything changed and she accepted that this was her and the right person will love her for her. He made sure to help her realise that.

But now everything was coming back and she couldn't help but feel overwhelmed because she knew what came after. He was going to break up with her. The thought alone sent a chill down her spine as she unglued herself from harry and went to the dinning table.

They sat in silence and harry immediately knew something was wrong. She was never quite ,always talking about anything that was on her mind.

"what's wrong baby?" He sweetly asks his green eyes filled with worry meeting hers but she quickly looks down at her untouched plate of food.

"nothing" she murmured afraid if she talked any louder he'd find it annoying.

Harry stood up from his seat and walked near her and lifted her chin with his fingers looking at her eyes to see them "What's going on?" He asks worry in his voice.

She didn't reply , pushed herself away from him and walked to their shared bedroom. The tears were gonna burst any minute and she didn't want him to see her but before she could close the door he was behind her.

She turns around ready to scream at him but the tears finally leave her eyes and fall down her cheeks. Harry was stunned and he immediately walks towards her to hug her only she fights it and tries to push him off and he realises maybe he had something to do with this. Did he make her cry? What had he done?

"Babe, can you please talk to me? Did I do something? Did I make you cry? Please love" he begs eyes filled with worry as he watches her move away from him.

She didn't answer him, her throat tight as she tried to catch her breath. Harry tried to comfort her from distance and it seemed to calm her down. She was sat on the floor leaning against the wall near their bed.

Harry sat on the opposing wall patiently waiting for her to say what was wrong without knowing it was all his fault. Y/n never cried, if something made her sad she voiced it but she never shed a tear in front of him not even when he was teary eyed watching some sad romcom with a sad ending so it shocked him to see her fall apart infront of him and he didn't even know why.

" I'm sorry" she says and harry immediately moved closer to her and wraps his arms around her pulling her to his chest.

Harry rubs her shoulders and after she had calmed down a bit she pushes herself away from harry and he looks

"I....heard.. y...your call?" Y/n says but it comes out as a question her eyes are filled with tears again as she remembers his words.

"what call...." Harry stops mid sentence as realisation hits him like a train and y/n could read every emotion on his face. Confused to realisation soon turned to one of sad and worried.

"Babe....I di" but before he could lie and take it back y/n cuts him off

"No! no, don't do this. You wouldn't have said that if you didn't mean it."

Harry's eyes start to gloss over at the realisation of how bad this could go. He had messed up big time and now as his brain tries to find something to not mess it up further y/n packs a bag and while he scrambles to his feet to beg her to stay.

"Y/n , baby... Please don't do this. I didn't mean it. I just have been in so much pressure with the tours, interviews and the next album. I'm so sorry. I really am I'm sorry. I love you...." Harry's was scared and y/n could see it but she knew how much her leaving right now was going to hurt him she had to do it because he had wrecked her heart with his words and she needed time away to recover from that.

"H. I just need some time... I'm sorry too. I know I could be too much sometimes but I never thought I would make you feel like you have to handle that side of me but that is me and if you hate that then I can't be with you." Y/n says tears steaming down her face and harry wasn't any better he was losing the love of his life because he couldn't keep his mouth shut. He really was stressed but he still shouldn't have said it and now he is going to face the consequences. Will she come back?? His mind keeps asking him.

The truth was they both didn't know the answer to that.

*

It had been a week and harry had called and texted everyday leaving voicemails apologizing and even sending flowers to her apartment. Y/n was glad he stopped there and didn't show up at her door because she would cave but she still needed time to think and move forward about this. She hadn't replied to his texts or calls but she soon had to soon.

But y/n didn't need to as she bumbs into harry at the cafe they both regulars and he smiles at her and pulls her into a hug taking a deep inhale of her hair and mumbling "I miss you" as they break the hug a little too soon for his liking.

"join me please?" Harry asks eyes begging her as y/n nods her head silently in agreement . They both take a seat at one of the corner booths , the windows were tinted so they would be perfectly fine there. Harry orders y/n's usual coffee and they sit in silence. Harry trying to catch her eyes but she was looking down at the table avoiding him.

"Y/n .....I didn't mean what I said. I love you for who you are please don't forget that. I can give you reasons but that won't get us anywhere, I'm really sorry i shouldn't have said those words and especially not to someone. I really am sorry y/n. Forgive me please?' harry asks expectantly.

" I get it harry, I just .... You could have told me you know. Just let me know when I become overbearing - no let me talk." She cuts him off when he tries to interject. "The words doesn't hurt , it's hurts me to know you said it behind my back. I told you about my ex but now it feels like you did the same thing just not to my face which feels even worse " y/n says eyes getting glossy again as she blinks to get rid of the tears and harry gulps before nodding his head as he waits for her to tell the words. Tell him she didn't want him anymore.

"I'm sorry, i was feeling stressed out and I should have just told you. I really am sorry" he says and she wraps her hands in his gently.

"I do forgive you though but I need sometime to process this and to trust you again" y/n says in a low voice and harry nods his head again understandingly.

Harry agreed to have sometime apart and they moved on from there. They would go on dates and eventually Y/n started to trust harry again and he made sure she knew just how much he loved her.

[harryxmarvel]

Shatter my soul

Summary : Harry has been suffering from an addiction and y/n decides to take time for herself or based on this ask

Pairing: rockstarboyfried!Harry x reader!y/n

Warnings: Angst

A/n: this piece turned so much better than I hoped for.

My masterlist

When they decided to take time for themselves harry and y/n were in a rough spot with not only their 11 years long relationship but their entire life.

After being falsely accused and getting fired from her dream job, gave up any and all hope y/n had as she came home to her love only to find him passed out in the middle of the living room.

His cocaine addiction was getting out of hand so much that he almost died of overdose saved by y/n who decided to come home early for some reason.He swore to never touch that stuff again but there he was high off his mind as he mumbles incoherently lying on the floor a week later.

The next day after getting him sober y/n decided it was best for them to take a break to figure out themselves and their life as she can't stand by him hurting himself like that. Harry had his issues, stress eating him alive at every wake hour ,he decides it was better if he wasn't in his own mind. The cocaine he could easily get his hands on was just a massive perk for him.

It had been a month and half. Y/n got a job at a restaurant and works as a bartender at night. She moved back to her old appartment after their break up and had been doing well on her own. She missed harry a lot even though their good days were well past months she still loved him, still wanted to help him and show him that she was there for him no matter what. She just wished he was doing better too. After their first week of breakup harry had called her high as he mumbled how much he missed her and promised to be better she just hopes he kept his promise.

It was a month later when y/n was at her favourite arcade bar with her friends. The place was a little loud with drunk men drinking beers and shouting at the screens.

They were seated in a booth after a good round of beers and  fun. She was mindlessly talking with her friend klara when the bartender calls her name.

Y/n walks to the bar and the bartender points to the payphone at the corner of the room.

They still got payphones

Y/n thinks to herself as she brings the phone to her ears. The first thing she hears is a sob which sends her into alert. "Hello?" She questions and the person on the other line replies "Baby, it's me.." he sobs out making y/n quiet as he continues "I'm getting sober. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do but I'd do anything for you baby. Just want you back, want to love on you like you deserve" he says breathing hard as y/n finds her words.

"I'm so happy to hear that H. That's what I wanted for you." Y/n says a smile breaking on her face as she tries to calm him down but he doesn't he keeps crying which makes y/n a little scared because it would've been really hard for him to be doing this alone.

Y/n should've struck by him, isn't that what their relationship should have meant. She feels incredibly guilty for walking away when things got worse but she did it wishing for the best and maybe it kinda did work out in the end and now all she wanted was to be with him and show him how much she appreciates him doing this for her.

"I'm gonna be there okay? I'm so proud of you baby" y/n says ready to hang up the phone but harry breaths out before she could "No, no i....you can't....I want you to but" y/n cuts him off in worry "what's going on H?"

"I wrote you a letter"he says and the other end is quiet as he continues.

"I wrote it so I could get everything out. I think?" He sounded so unsure his voice raspier than usual. " It should be in your apartment" he adds and y/n says she would read it and come by his place before hanging up the phone.

She bids goodbye to her friends after explaining them about the situation and then waving her off with a concerned look on their face as y/n walks back to her apartment. She goes through all her mail and finds the one harry had sent. Her name and address on the envelope.

She opens it and it had two sheets folded inside it. She didn't know what to expect as she reads through it.

My love,

             Today has been particularly hard without you by my side. My manager has been pressing me for the next album but how could I think about anything but you. It had been 8 weeks since I last heard your voice and I never knew how much it filled my life untill I couldn't hear it anymore and I think maybe that's what made me want to give up the drugs even if it feels like I'm drowning. I'd do it for you.

I still remember the tears in your eyes when you told me about you ex and how mad it made me. I wanted to bury him alive for hurting you like that. I never wanted to infect any kind of pain in you. I swore I never would when I saw the lack of trust in your eyes.

It killed me to see the smile on your face slowly fading away because of me. I wanted to hold you close and tell you I'd be back. We'll get all of the good times we had together back because that was what you deserved. But I couldn't save myself not for me but for you because you are everything i have left. The only person who stood by me through it all and maybe that's what made me realise I was nothing without when you left.

I was always honest with you even when I was out of my mind i tried to explain what I was feeling. I know you blamed yourself that you couldn't help me but this was my own battle and you were the warrior in the front ready to kill anyone even though you didn't have to. You were always there for me and I'm really sorry if I wasn't baby. Because

 You deserve better than that.

You deserve someone who would be there for you.

You deserve someone who would stay true to their promises.

You deserve someone who would stay good for you.

You deserve better than me.

You deserve every happiness in this world.

She is at the end of the page her soul shattered with each word when a knock on the door pulls her out. She has a few tears falling down her cheeks. She wips them off before opening the door to find her close friend klara.

"Hey , what ar-" y/n is cut off as klara bursts "I need to tell you something"

"Oh okay, come on in" y/n opens the door wider to let her in but klara shakes her head as she continues "No, I just need to tell you this....i" she's breathless and y/n patiently waits for her to continue.

"I slept with harry" she says after a few deafening seconds which stretches to minutes after the words are out.

"It was stupid and I was drunk and it just happened. We were both out of our minds and we didn't know what was happening. I'm really sorry y/n. I didn't mean for it to happen. I'm sorry"

Y/n is still as she listens to her ramble. All of y/n's friends hated harry something about him not treating her right while he was the total opposite.  She never knew why that was but to hear her bestfriend had slept with her boyfriend of years cut deep into her poor heart and the stabs just kept coming.

"It happened a few months ago and I couldn't stop myself from going back. I didn't mean for it to happen y/n you have to believe me" klara begs her eyes welled up with tears.

Y/n couldn't stop herself from thinking how much of a fool she was for thinking all those nail marks on his shoulder, love bites on his jaw and chest were from her when she knew it wasn't. The woman's perfumes he used to smell like made her realise it wasn't just Klara. And one thought kept haunting her mind as she stands on her doorway.

Had she really been that delusional ?

A/n: I think I just broke my own heart 😭. Who wants a part 2?

Read part 2 here

Check out my masterlist  if you are interested

Support me by checking out my small business

[harryxmarvel]

Hi guys, ik I've been MIA....so I was working on starting my own small business.

I'm now a proud owner of a small stickers shop.

Do follow me on Instagram @cherie.io_ and support me. Thank you 🪄

I create journal, taylor swift, Marvel , anime , one direction and Harry styles stickers, Polaroids and bookmarks.

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[harryxmarvel]

Harry Styles Masterlist

One shots -

Broken trust - Y/n overhears harry calling her annoying

Expect - Harry priorities work over his family

Shatter my soul , part 2 - Harry has been suffering from an addiction and y/n decides to take time for herself or based on this ask

CEO!Harry universe (coming soon)

Point of view (povs)

Support me by checking out my small business

Thank you ❤️

Last updated ~ April 13

[harryxmarvel]

Broken trust

Summary - Y/n overhears harry calling her annoying

Pairing - Harrystyles x reader!y/n

W.c - 1.5k

Warning - Angst

A/n - First try writing angst

Y/n always felt like she was too much. Even before dating harry.But he told her it was fine to be herself around him.

She was loud, carefree, blunt and sometimes clingy and she knew that.

She knew she was and she tried to keep it at bay. Besides harry had told her that he liked how she was. He liked her character and that's what made her as her.

So she was herself when she was with him and he loved her for it but maybe it does get too much sometimes?

Probably.

So when y/n heard harry talk to a friend about how clingy and loud she could be. How he wished he could take a break from her sometimes. It broke her. She felt her heart rip into two when she heard him say those things to his friend without knowing she was hearing it all.

He had said everything she wished she wasn't but was and she thought Harry had accepted that this was her and loved her for it but maybe not.

With a crushed heart she went back downstairs, silently going back to placing the dishes she prepared for him. Now she had doubts about everything she was doing.

Was her preparing his favourite dish annoying too?

What else did he find annoying?

Did he hate it when she cuddled him?

Did he like the way she laughed?

Did he still love her?

She was staring off somewhere when harry walked down and hugged her from behind bringing her back to reality.

He placed a gentle kiss on her neck his strong arms wrapped tightly around her.

"what's for dinner, baby?" He asks still kissing her neck.

She didn't reply tho, not when she was trying to figure out if he was faking being sweet. Would he say all those things to her face?

Her ex-boyfriends have told her cruel things when they broke it off. It took her months to get over but when she met Harry everything changed and she accepted that this was her and the right person will love her for her. He made sure to help her realise that.

But now everything was coming back and she couldn't help but feel overwhelmed because she knew what came after. He was going to break up with her. The thought alone sent a chill down her spine as she unglued herself from harry and went to the dinning table.

They sat in silence and harry immediately knew something was wrong. She was never quite ,always talking about anything that was on her mind.

"what's wrong baby?" He sweetly asks his green eyes filled with worry meeting hers but she quickly looks down at her untouched plate of food.

"nothing" she murmured afraid if she talked any louder he'd find it annoying.

Harry stood up from his seat and walked near her and lifted her chin with his fingers looking at her eyes to see them "What's going on?" He asks worry in his voice.

She didn't reply , pushed herself away from him and walked to their shared bedroom. The tears were gonna burst any minute and she didn't want him to see her but before she could close the door he was behind her.

She turns around ready to scream at him but the tears finally leave her eyes and fall down her cheeks. Harry was stunned and he immediately walks towards her to hug her only she fights it and tries to push him off and he realises maybe he had something to do with this. Did he make her cry? What had he done?

"Babe, can you please talk to me? Did I do something? Did I make you cry? Please love" he begs eyes filled with worry as he watches her move away from him.

She didn't answer him, her throat tight as she tried to catch her breath. Harry tried to comfort her from distance and it seemed to calm her down. She was sat on the floor leaning against the wall near their bed.

Harry sat on the opposing wall patiently waiting for her to say what was wrong without knowing it was all his fault. Y/n never cried, if something made her sad she voiced it but she never shed a tear in front of him not even when he was teary eyed watching some sad romcom with a sad ending so it shocked him to see her fall apart infront of him and he didn't even know why.

" I'm sorry" she says and harry immediately moved closer to her and wraps his arms around her pulling her to his chest.

Harry rubs her shoulders and after she had calmed down a bit she pushes herself away from harry and he looks

"I....heard.. y...your call?" Y/n says but it comes out as a question her eyes are filled with tears again as she remembers his words.

"what call...." Harry stops mid sentence as realisation hits him like a train and y/n could read every emotion on his face. Confused to realisation soon turned to one of sad and worried.

"Babe....I di" but before he could lie and take it back y/n cuts him off

"No! no, don't do this. You wouldn't have said that if you didn't mean it."

Harry's eyes start to gloss over at the realisation of how bad this could go. He had messed up big time and now as his brain tries to find something to not mess it up further y/n packs a bag and while he scrambles to his feet to beg her to stay.

"Y/n , baby... Please don't do this. I didn't mean it. I just have been in so much pressure with the tours, interviews and the next album. I'm so sorry. I really am I'm sorry. I love you...." Harry's was scared and y/n could see it but she knew how much her leaving right now was going to hurt him she had to do it because he had wrecked her heart with his words and she needed time away to recover from that.

"H. I just need some time... I'm sorry too. I know I could be too much sometimes but I never thought I would make you feel like you have to handle that side of me but that is me and if you hate that then I can't be with you." Y/n says tears steaming down her face and harry wasn't any better he was losing the love of his life because he couldn't keep his mouth shut. He really was stressed but he still shouldn't have said it and now he is going to face the consequences. Will she come back?? His mind keeps asking him.

The truth was they both didn't know the answer to that.

*

It had been a week and harry had called and texted everyday leaving voicemails apologizing and even sending flowers to her apartment. Y/n was glad he stopped there and didn't show up at her door because she would cave but she still needed time to think and move forward about this. She hadn't replied to his texts or calls but she soon had to soon.

But y/n didn't need to as she bumbs into harry at the cafe they both regulars and he smiles at her and pulls her into a hug taking a deep inhale of her hair and mumbling "I miss you" as they break the hug a little too soon for his liking.

"join me please?" Harry asks eyes begging her as y/n nods her head silently in agreement . They both take a seat at one of the corner booths , the windows were tinted so they would be perfectly fine there. Harry orders y/n's usual coffee and they sit in silence. Harry trying to catch her eyes but she was looking down at the table avoiding him.

"Y/n .....I didn't mean what I said. I love you for who you are please don't forget that. I can give you reasons but that won't get us anywhere, I'm really sorry i shouldn't have said those words and especially not to someone. I really am sorry y/n. Forgive me please?' harry asks expectantly.

" I get it harry, I just .... You could have told me you know. Just let me know when I become overbearing - no let me talk." She cuts him off when he tries to interject. "The words doesn't hurt , it's hurts me to know you said it behind my back. I told you about my ex but now it feels like you did the same thing just not to my face which feels even worse " y/n says eyes getting glossy again as she blinks to get rid of the tears and harry gulps before nodding his head as he waits for her to tell the words. Tell him she didn't want him anymore.

"I'm sorry, i was feeling stressed out and I should have just told you. I really am sorry" he says and she wraps her hands in his gently.

"I do forgive you though but I need sometime to process this and to trust you again" y/n says in a low voice and harry nods his head again understandingly.

Harry agreed to have sometime apart and they moved on from there. They would go on dates and eventually Y/n started to trust harry again and he made sure she knew just how much he loved her.

[harryxmarvel]

Can you do an angst piece where they have a 3 year old and everything has been really crazy but H is spending the most of his time working and not helping y/n? Bonus points if an ex girlfriend comes back into the picture

Can you do an angst piece where they have a 3 year old and everything has been really crazy but H is spending the most of his time working and not helping y/n? Bonus points if an ex girlfriend comes back into the picture

Expect

Summary : Harry prioritised work over his family

Pairing : famous!Harry x reader!y/n

Warning : but of angst, fluff , none of the personalities of the characters are real. Purely fictional!

A/n : not really an angsty piece tbh but hope you like it :)

My masterlist

Taking care of a three year old while being 5 months pregnant is not an easy task and while y/n had been down playing it as no hard work to everyone asking her ,it was bad. With a popstar husband busy writing the album of the year he seems to have neglected his family and was yet to realise it.

Although y/n was working from home she missed dressing up and going out and enjoying the weather or having her favourite ice cream in the park. But the most she missed was her husband who was working late yet again he couldn't join them for dinner. Their little baby daughter asking for her father before her bedtime for a kiss but how could y/n explain to a three year old that he was working, he was so busy to take some time to spend with his family.

It made her think back to the time when they decided to have a kid and Harry promised to always be there for them but now y/n was worried. Sure he always came back but she needed him here. She needed him when her morning sickness left her tired, she needed him to help her around the house and most of all she needed him to take care of Avery and her even for just a minute.

Her swollen ankles and the bump making it hard for her to do things in their house but Harry had no idea as he climbs into bed at 4 in the morning apologizing for waking her up and by the time y/n wakes up to prepare Avery's breakfast and lunch he was already long gone.

Y/n doesn't even remember the last time they had an actual conversation face to face. He sends texts every now and then to check up on them but that was it.

Y/n was in the shower, she swore off baths since she couldn't get up on her own and had a wave of mood swings had hit her so she had called crying to Harry to come help her up. It was a fond memory now they laugh about. She hears the bathroom door open sending her in high alert as to who it could be. No one has the key or the passcode to the front door except Harry but he was at the studio so who could it be?

She silently peeks through the shower curtain to find Harry with an apologetic look on his face. "Hey, what are you doing here?" Y/n asks suddenly very aware of the fact she was naked with how Harry was eating her with his eyes. The water droplets and pregnancy glow was making Harry crazy enough he was half hard but he gulps it down stammering as he speaks "wow, you are glowing baby." He says eyes running all over her body. And y/n blushes because truth was with how busy he was they hadn't had sex in weeks and Harry loved to love on her when she was pregnant knowing she has some doubts about her body changing. "I just ......I didn't know, I'm sorry. We were just there to celebrate and she just -" Harry stops mid sentence at the confused look on y/n's face as she wraps herself in a towel.

"H, what are you talking about?" She asks getting out of the shower with harry helping and walks towards their closet grabbing a pair of underwear and Harry's shirt as she takes a seat on the bed.

He looks guilty as he murmurs something trying to get away from this situation but he perks up when he sees her questioning look"Kendall...." Was all he had to say for y/n to realise he had messed up big time.

Kendall was obsessed with Harry and she was Harry's last ex-girlfriend before he found his soulmate. Y/n had nothing against her untill Kendall decided to ruin their life by constantly showing up on their dates making both of them uncomfortable. Kendall even turned her whole mass of fans against y/n when she found out they were engaged. She had been trying to sabotage their relationship from the start and against all odds y/n and Harry were truly happy and tried to deal with the situations calmly. But y/n was human too she was jealous when some other woman's hands lingered a bit long for her liking or the eyes on him as he works out or goes out for a walk but she never complained about it and accepted that this was who he was. The was a celebrity and people were always going to be curious about him and his life which she was a huge part of.

But to know he was out partying all night celebrating a song they completed with Kendall of all people broke her poor tired heart. She sits in silence as Harry looks distressed waiting for her response. Y/n never raised her voice. Even with Avery she was firm but her voice never raised so he was a bit taken aback when he hears her "How long are you going to keep doing this Harry?" She had asked anger evident in her tone.

Harry had told everything that happened how Kendall was stuck beside him all night and got really drunk enough to try to kiss him which he thankfully dodged but the pictures on the internet looks like they were kissing but Harry promised y/n that didn't happen.

"Why do you keep letting her mess up our lives? How long do I have to act like it doesn't faze me? I know you wouldn't cheat but I don't trust her. We had this conversation years ago H and you keep doing this again and again it's so hard for me to believe she just keeps coming back after so many rejections from you." With doubt in her voice y/n avoids his eyes, hers filled with tears.

"no baby, I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. Kendall is nothing to me. You know I try to avoid her as much as possible" he says firmly making his point but that wasn't the biggest problem.

"It's not just that...." Y/n had been wanting to talk to him about his distance but with how unavailable he was they hadn't had a proper conversation in days.

"What is it?" Harry asks with worry.

"I get it, I really do. I get that people expect from you. I know you are working hard to provide for us but you are getting too involved to even spend time with us Harry. It feels like you don't care about us anymore. Of every person who expects from you, as your family don't we have the right to just expect you to be here for us?" Y/n questions her eyes meeting his stunned ones as he swallows the new information.

His heart beating rapidly as y/n doesn't wait for his reply as she walks out of their shared bedroom.

Harry stands still in his spot, seconds pass....minutes pass as y/n's words keep echoing in his mind and he sees it . How he had been neglecting his family. Harry is left with guilt as he thinks about how he hadn't been present at all to help y/n. He didn't even know her cravings or how the last ultrasound was. He didn't know if their baby was healthy and it teared him apart.

He falls on his knees as realisation hits him, he was going to lose the love of life. His glossy eyes decipher his little baby running towards him with a stuffie tucked under her arm as she hugs him tight. "missed you daddy" Avery sweetly says nuzzling her face into her father's neck as Harry hugs her tight scared he might lose her soon.

It was right then harry decides to honour his vows. Like he should have before. He vowed to always always be there for her and promised that y/n and their future family will always be his first and foremost important priority.

The next few days he stays home and takes care of Avery and helps y/n around the house. But she still wasn't convinced and wasn't talking to him. When he tucks Avery after reading her a bed time story he finds his wife cuddling under the blankets with a romcom playing on the tv.

He sits beside her and pulls her closer and y/n immediately relaxes beside him nuzzling further into his warm chest. Harry cradles her bump as he says "I'm sorry baby, I really am. I'm sorry i didn't realise it sooner. I'm going to be here from now on. You guys means the world to me and you are everything i need."

"It's okay bub, I'm glad you are here now that's all that matters" y/n says lightly kissing his jaw.

Harry cranes his neck and finally attaches his lips with hers. Their lips move in sync as harry pulls y/n onto his lap his hands roaming around her body settling on her bump.

"I love you" harry says eyes meeting hers and y/n whispers the words back and reattaches their lips.

Y/n was glad harry came back. He kept his words and promises and started working less hours, cooked breakfast for them, dropped Avery at her preschool , took care of y/n and they finally felt like a family again.

A/n: I hope this was up to its expectations anon. since most of you voted for happy ending, but some of the requests may have a sad ending.

send in any requests:)