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infinite-inferno · 4 years

Text

Even a Hero Needs Some Help Every Once in a While

Fandom: Jacksepticeye

Genre: Angst/ I guess hurt/comfort

Characters: Jackieboy Man, Henrik von Schneeplestein, Chase Brody, Anti (mentioned), Marvin the Magnificent (mentioned), Stacy (mentioned), Jack (mentioned)

Content warning: neglect of physical and mental health, depression, vague mentions of medical stuff, suicide mention, I guess you could read it as a mention of abuse, alcoholism, it gets positive and happy at the end though I swear

Jackieboy Man had a duty to fulfill and couldn’t afford to take a day off, not for his physical health, nor for his mental health, despite how frequently he needed one for either reason. But, he had to be on patrol every day, no matter what anyone said, because if he wasn’t then criminals would be able to get away with whatever they wanted, and he couldn’t live with himself if something happened because he wasn’t there.

Today was another day where he really could’ve used a mental health day, but there was no way in hell he was doing that. So, he neglected his mental health and in doing so, his physical health also suffered; days like these he either ate way too much or didn’t eat at all, slept for either 12 hours or 2 hours (typically the latter, as he had to be with his brothers during the day or else they would get concerned, and that definitely couldn’t happen), he bottled up his emotions until his was absolutely alone (which rarely happened) and if by some miracle there was nobody else in the house or around anywhere he cried until he ran out of tears or was no longer alone, whichever came first (or he just felt so numb he couldn’t bring himself to feel anything, let alone cry and release his emotions). And today in particular he looked like absolute shit, as he had been having a bad day for going on 2 weeks now, and everything just kept building up and he was starting to wonder what his breaking point was and when he would reach it.

His great solution for all his issues? Intense training all day, not stopping for any breaks, chastising himself over every tiny mistake that wasn’t even noticeable, and just working himself beyond his limits, but the pain, cuts and bruises were too much for him to continue on, so Jackie had to stop and do some quick first aid before he could go back to training. Schneeplestein found him rummaging through his medical supplies, attempting to take care of the injuries he gave himself.

“Jackie… vhat are you doing?”

He whipped around, face pale and Henrik wasn’t sure if it was due to his medical condition or due to the shock of being found out. “... nothing…?”

“Bullshit, zat does not look like nozing. Spill, or else I am calling Anti.”

Jackie sighed and sat down on the table they used for any time Henrik had to treat injuries (which were typically Jackie’s). “I’ve just… had a couple bad days I guess. I’ve been training all morning to try and get myself out of this funk I’m in and get back to normal,” he then mumbled so quietly that Henrik strained his ears to hear it, “whatever that even means.” He returned to his normal volume to say “you don’t need to worry about me Henrik, I just hurt myself a bit while training but it’s nothing serious.”

The doctor bit his lip, not buying a word of it. “Vould you consider zis uh funk, as you called it, similar to Chase’s bad days?” Henrik eyed him warily, observing his reactions. His medical training tipped him off that Jackie was hiding something, as well as his own two eyes.

Jackie’s reaction was immediate. “What?! No! Chase’s bad days are due to his depression, and I’m not depressed.”

“Zen vhy are you being so defensive right now?”

“Because… because…” Jackie’s eyes filled with panic as he couldn’t come up with a reason. But he couldn’t be depressed, right? Nothing like what happened to Chase happened to him, he didn’t have any reason to be depressed so that couldn’t be it. Something just threw him off his groove, that’s all.

“Because,” Henrik supplied, “you don’t vant to admit to yourself zat you have any veaknesses. Ja?”

Jackie, aware he was being read like a book, decided to just give up, putting his head in his hands and blinking back tears. He composed himself before huffing. “Fine. Maybe. But I’ll just get over it, and be right as rain soon enough. Please, don’t worry about me.”

Henrik took a breath, keeping his skepticism to himself. “Ok. Vhat injuries do you have? Do you need mein help in treating anyzing?”

Jackie went quiet, nodding slightly, taking off his hoodie to reveal a once form fitting shirt that now hung loosely on his too-skinny frame. He lifted part of the shirt up to reveal a plethora of large lacerations that had been sloppily bandaged by Jackie, and Henrik was trying not to dwell on how thin he was and how he could see too many of his bones. “Yeah this happened last night, but I didn’t want to wake you or anything… I don’t think I cracked my ribs because that would hurt a lot more but there’s definitely a lot of cuts there… I did my best but I might need stitches doc…” Jackie looked down, embarrassed. The doctor didn’t say anything, and just got right to work.

“Bite down on zis, I know you’ve done it before, but zis vill hurt.” He gave him a belt that was hanging up specifically for times like these. Jackie did as he was told, and sat through all the stitches he was given. It hurt like hell, but that’s what he got for not being careful enough.

When Henrik finished, he took a deep breath, watching Jackie put his shirt and hoodie back on, deciding to go for it now. “Hey, Jackie…” he started softly “vhen did you last eat something?”

The hero had to think about it for a decent amount of time, which was already a bad sign. “Well, I’ve been having some gum but not swallowing it, if that counts-”

“Nein.”

“Why does it even matter?”

“Goddammit answer ze damned question!”

“Okay, okay, jeez. Uh, I’m not sure…”

“Vas it today?”

“No.”

“Yesterday?”

“No…”

“Vithin ze last veek?”

“What day is it?”

“Ze 10th.”

“Then I don’t think so…” At that, Henrik abruptly grabbed the weary hero’s arm and dragged him into the kitchen, passing a confused Marvin on their way in.

“Sit.” Henrik ordered in a tone that did not leave any room for debate once they got there and to the table. Jackie did as he was told as Henrik began making food for him - a piece of toast and some soup, the same thing that people who were sick typically had. At the realization, Jackie mumbled something about him not being sick, and if Henrik heard he chose to ignore it. “Vhen did you drink vater last?”

Jackie gave the type of laugh where he aggressively exhaled through his nose, not a full laugh but something, before responding with “fuck if I know. But I’ve had a shit ton of coffee and gatorade though?”

“Neither are vater, und you cannot substitute gatorade for vater, no matter vhat you zink.” He poured a large glass of water and placed it in front of Jackie, demanding that he drink it. Again, his tone was no nonsense and Jackie knew if he even tried to argue he wouldn’t win, so he reluctantly complied. As soon as he finished the glass Henrik immediately went to refill it, so he would keep drinking more and more water. When the food was ready, it was placed in front of him, and the smell was both enticing and nauseating. But he couldn’t dismiss it, as Henrik was staring at him, making sure he ate it. He started with the soup, starting by just taking the broth. “You know you need to eat more zan just ze broth ja?”

Jackie rolled his eyes and took a bite from the soup. “Happy?”

“I vill be once you finish ze food.”

He sighed as he slowly continued eating, the time between his bites getting longer as he went on, and he hated that he was wasting all this time. I have better things to do than to sit here and eat he thought. Or well, he thought it stayed in his head.

“Nein. You need to eat mein friend.”

“But Hen, I need to keep training!”

“You vill not leave zis house until you can prove to me you can take care of yourself. Und for ze next couple of days you vill not be training either. Vhen vas ze last time you slept a full 6-8 hours?”

“Ummm… I dunno, it’s probably been at least a month if not longer. Usually if I can get to sleep it’s only for a couple of hours… oh wait no I had a nice long like 11 or so hour rest like a week and a half or so ago. But before that it must’ve been…” he couldn’t finish, because he had absolutely no idea.

Henrik looked at the amount of food in front of him, and decided that he ate enough (he would’ve preferred if he ate the whole thing but he could tell the bites were on the verge of being forced, and that would not be helpful. “Screw ze rest of ze food, you are going to sleep now. If you are hungry vhen you vake up, you can have somezing more. But for now, you sleep, ja?”

Jackie nodded, glad that he didn’t have to try and eat anything more. Granted, this meant he needed to sleep, and he wasn’t sure how easy that was going to be, but it still wasn’t eating. He stored away the soup and just tossed the few bites of toast he had left before putting the dishes in the sink to be washed later by one of them. He then made his way to his room, flopping on the bed and resisting the urge to take out his phone and spend hours just scrolling, because then he would never get to sleep. Instead, his mind kept him busy, berating him for letting Schneep see him like that. The next thing he knew, he checked his phone and a bit over an hour had gone by already. He sighed, deciding that since Henrik was the one who wanted him to sleep, he could help him to actually fall asleep.

“Hey Hen?”

“Vhat are you doing out of bed?”

“I’m having… I’m having trouble falling asleep. Do you have any like… melatonin or something? Any kind of medication I can take because this is not working out.”

Henrik’s face softened, and he went to where he kept the medicine and unlocked it (Chase is the primary reason it was always locked) and sifted through a number of bottles before landing on the right one - the Trazedone bottle (he could’ve given him something else, but it also acted as an antidepressant, and he had a feeling Jackie could use one). “Before you take zis, und be honest, have you had any suicidal zoughts or actions? I von’t tell ze ozers if you’d like, but as a doctor I need to know.”

“No, I mean I don’t take care of myself as well as I should, obviously, and I might get myself into dangerous situations when on patrol, but like I haven’t really thought about like, dying - not a lot at least. I mean if I did, it was once or twice or something, and I snapped right out of it because that’s not me. That’s not my normal.”

Henrik nodded and opened the bottle, handing him 2 pills. “You may vant to eat a small somezing vith zis, und I am not just saying zat so you vill eat. You can have a candy bar for all I care, but it vould help to reduce any negative effects it could have.” Jackie nodded, and got out a small Hershey chocolate bar, eating that and then taking the pills. He thanked Henrik and went to his room, where he finally began to have a decent sleep.

Jackie woke up and freaked out when he saw that it was 1am because he should be on patrol right now what is he doing sleeping?! He sighed and rolled onto his back when he remembered Schneep put him on bed rest for a while, and rolled his eyes. He stood up and went to get his suit, figuring that it wouldn’t hurt to go out for a little while, but he found that where his suit should be, there was a note instead in a familiar messy scrawl.

‘I told you, you’re on bedrest. That means no patrolling for you. You may think that me taking your suit is a bit extreme, but you are just so predictable, and I want to make sure you stay safe, because I care about you. Now, I know you will not go back to sleep most likely, and it is wishful thinking that you would go and eat something or drink any water, but please try one of the three things. It won’t kill you, I swear, and I should know - I’m a doctor.

- Henrik’

Jackie smiled at the sentiment, but crumpled up the paper and threw it at the wall. “He fucking took my suit? Does he not trust me at all?” He rolled his eyes. “Ok, to be fair you were literally about to do that exact thing, so he has a right to not trust me.” He sighed and flopped back onto the bed. He supposed he could try and fall asleep again, but he found it very unlikely. Eventually however, he fell back asleep for a couple hours.

----------------------------------

He woke up again with light shining through the window, and checking his phone it was a reasonable hour to be awake. Jackie stood up and walked out of his room. He first saw Chase when he walked out, and impulsively said “Chase? Hey uh, can I talk to you about something?” Chase looked confused for a moment but nodded.

“Do you want to go into one of our rooms or stay out here? I dunno how serious this talk is but based on your face it seems kinda serious…”

Jackie nodded. “Can we go to your room?”

“Sure.” They walked to Chase’s room, and when they got there, Chase closed the door and sat on the bed, patting the spot next to him for Jackie to sit down, which he did. “So, what’s on your mind?”

“How do you deal with your um… your…” Jackie bit his lip, not wanting to say the word.

Chase raised an eyebrow, “my depression?”

“Y-yeah…”

Chase had a good idea to not ask why Jackie wanted to know this, but given his fidgety behavior and how he is way less confident than he usually is, he had a good idea of why he was asking. “I gotta say dude, it’s the one of the toughest battles I fight, the only worse thing being the battle against my addiction. But doc gave me some medicine to try and lessen it, and I like to journal my feelings. I know there’s a bunch of phone apps for it, I stick to traditional pen and paper. And it’s basically a diary, but don’t tell anyone I called it that, but I just write about the emotions I felt and if anything happened that could possibly be related to it. You wanna see it?”

Jackie just shrugged. “I mean, if it’s too personal, I don’t wanna intrude on your super personal details or anything…”

“Nah, I got nothin’ to hide really. Here, lemme get it.” He reached onto the table by his bed, pulling out a spiral notebook. He flipped to more recent pages and showed one to him. “See, I start by writing the date and any adjectives that come to mind that describe my mood. There’s some days where I have a lot of them and a lot are contradictory to each other, and there’s some days where I only have a couple. This one, oh yeah this is from when I got to see my kids!” He smiled fondly at the day, reading back over it. “Yeah, that carried me for most of the day I remember, that’s why it’s the only thing really in here for the day. Now, the next day was- yup that wasn’t a good day. Stacy called me just to yell at me for how I spoiled the kids,” he read it, sighing, “then ya know, called me a bad father and what not, usual Stacy shit, and I got so close to breaking my sobriety but… actually it was you that stopped me… not by doing anything about alcohol but you just said hi to me when I was on my way to try and find some and after that I… I couldn’t’ve done it so I pretended I just wanted a snack heh… memories huh,” he laughed weakly.

“You asked how I deal? Well on the days when the meds aren’t enough I usually try my best, if I can, to talk to one of you guys. You all help to distract me from the shitty things that go through my mind. Because you know as well as I do that there’s always something going on in this house that even existing in the living room is enough to have a decent distraction for the most part. On the days though where I can’t even get out of bed… I still try and distract myself by doing random shit on my phone, sometimes I just try and vent out all my issues and thoughts by writing them down in my notes app because my phone is so much closer and easier to write on than an actual piece of paper. Plus I can also delete it when I’m done so all the negative thoughts can just disappear into the cloud. But there isn’t one set recipe for self care or anything like that. I know some people like to do relaxing shit like meditation or whatever but I just can’t do that, my mind needs to stay active or else I’ll get lost in my own thoughts. It took me a while to figure out what works, and hell I’m still figuring it out. There’s no rush though, and it’s okay if you can’t figure everything out right away.” Chase smiled and closed the notebook, placing it right back on the table. “Is there anything else you wanted to know?”

Jackie shook his head. “No, I think you covered it all. Thanks.”

“Any time. And if you ever want to talk about anything, I’ll gladly lend an ear. I know how hard it is to open up, but once you do it feels amazing. And if you don’t want to talk to any of us, when I went to therapy right after my attempt it really helped cuz I didn’t want to talk about any of that with you guys because I was just so embarrassed. I don’t think I’d be where I am today if Jack didn’t drag me to therapy.”

Jackie hugged him, then left the room, heading back to his own. He would have something to eat later, he had some things to figure out about himself first.

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infinite-inferno · 4 years

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One Step Behind

Fandom: Jacksepticeye

Characters: Jackieboy Man, Chase Brody

What do you mean I can’t keep projecting my feelings onto fictional characters?

Jackieboy Man was tired and frustrated. No matter what he did, his latest villain rival was always one step ahead of him. Even when it seemed that Jackie had the upper hand, or that the situation was made completely in his favor, it always ended up with him crushed underneath Bloodwing’s heel, and frankly, he was sick of it.

“Jackie hey, bro chill, you’ve been pacing for the last like 20 minutes, what’s wrong?” Chase looked up from his phone and set it aside.

Jackie’s pacing stopped and he turned to face Chase, still mostly talking to himself. “Mavin’s gotta have a spell for it, right?”

“A spell for what? Am I missing something?” Chase crossed his arms, eyeing his frantic brother.

“To make me perfect. There’s gotta be one hold up I’m going to ask-” the father ran up and blocked the door to leave the room, glad he had chosen the seat right next to the door.

“You’re not going anywhere. You’re gonna sit down and talk to me because you’re already perfect and you just seem to be beating yourself up inside over something I have no idea about. Take it from me, it’s better to talk about your issues than try and solve the problem on your own with some spell, or well, in my case whiskey…” he shook his head, refocusing. “What’s been going on?”

“It’s just… you wouldn’t get it…”

Chase raised an eyebrow. “Try me.”

“Fine.” Jackie sighed. “So, ever since last year there’s been this villain, Bloodwing, and before he wasn’t that big a threat, at least not compared to the others, and I didn’t really care about him. He was easy to beat and I needed to focus on taking down Miss Direction and the Frozen Wizard first. But now he’s at the very top and he… he’s so much better than me Chase… no matter what I do, I can’t beat him. Nothing I do is good enough.” He didn’t realize he started crying until Chase handed him a tissue. “After the other two left town, I thought that it was going to be nice and peaceful, and that I would win for once in my life, but I’m just a crappy excuse for a hero…”

“Hey no, don’t say that Jackie-”

“It’s true isn’t it? Who have I helped?”

“You’ve helped all of us! So much that I don’t even know if you’re aware of it! Do you know how many of us would be dead if you weren’t here? Jack, Schneep, JJ, me! If it weren’t for you half of this house would be dead! Being a hero isn’t just about having powers, or defeating bad guys, but it’s about the little things! When all of us are scared shitless from a thunderstorm, you’re the one who takes charge and gets us all to forget about our worries by making us play some board game or whatever. It’s being there for all of us to vent to when something is wrong and helping us through it, or listening to each of us ramble about something good that happened that day and celebrating with us. You don’t need to beat any villain to prove you’re a real superhero Jackie, because we all know you are. And if the universe wants to keep putting you down well, you just gotta… get back up.” Chase smirked, knowing that Jackie understood the reference. Jackie just rolled his eyes, remembering the song completely, but he couldn’t hide the slight grin that made its way onto his face. “There we go, how ya feelin Jackie?”

Jackie paused and took a deep breath. “Not completely better but… I just want to know what I have to do to beat him. Sure, I can get back up all I want, whatever, but he’s still there. And the longer he’s running my city the more pressure I feel to get rid of him for good-”

“That’s it right there. Very few people work well under pressure Jackie, even superheroes. You just need to reframe your mindset about this guy, convince your mind that he’s just another… whatever low level people you fight… and not put him on this mental pedestal. If you keep thinking that you’ll never beat him because he’s “so much better than you” which I think is a load of bullshit anyway, you won’t stand a chance. It can take a while to get out of that mindset, and I’m still tryna do that myself, but I know you’ll be able to do it.”

Jackieboy smiled at him. “Chase, when did you get so smart?”

“Being sober does wonders,” he laughed softly, opening his arms for a hug, “wanna hug?”

“Of course,” Jackie smiled and attacked him with a hug, both were soon on the ground laughing and holding each other close. “Thank you Chase, seriously.”

“Any time.”

#one step behind #kaiden writes #my fic #jacksepticeye #angst #chase brody #jackieboy man #random villains that I got from a name generator #yeah I was completely projecting onto jackie in this one boys #y'all liked my last jse fic so ig imma post more?

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infinite-inferno · 4 years

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Who Cares?

Fandom: Jacksepticeye

Characters: Chase Brody, Doctor Henrik von Schneeplestein, Marvin the Magnificent, Jackieboy Man, Jameson Jackson, Antisepticeye

Content warning: a lot of mentions of depression, addiction, alcoholism, suicide mentions, suicidal thoughts

If I wasn’t on mobile I’d use the zalgo text for anti so instead it’s bolded

[[MORE]]

As soon as Chase closed the door to his bedroom he flopped onto the bed, his smiling and laughing expression he wore seconds ago with his family immediately replaced by a somber one. He took long, deep breaths, having a staring contest with the ceiling (it of course won). After... well he couldn’t tell how long he laid like that - time seemed to slow and drag on forever but also go way too fast - he spoke so softly to himself that he barely heard himself speak. “Am I really depressed? Or is it just that I’m reminding myself that I’m supposed to be sad? I was just out there with everyone for hours and wasn’t sad at all. Am I just faking it?” A lone tear escaped from his eye and he didn’t bother to wipe it away.

He heard his phone vibrate, but didn’t bother to check it. The only person that would be calling him is his therapist’s office, attempting to confirm a meeting he already planned on skipping. He went to one to humor Jackie, and of course he had to schedule another visit, but the whole time he knew that he wasn’t going back. He would just be wasting his therapists time, and taking up space for people who really needed therapy.

His room wasn’t far from the room where all the other egos were still gathered - he told the others that he was going to his room to plan the next bro average video (which he really should be doing anyway) - and he could faintly hear some conversations. From what he could piece together, they started playing Cards Against Humanity and somehow Jameson was winning, even though he didn’t understand most of the cards. He could tell that they were having a lot of fun - a lot of fun without him.

“Would anyone even care if I-“ he spoke, again, barely audible (he wondered if he even vocalized the words, or if they halted in his head). He had to stop himself short, not daring to finish the thought. “Chase you idiot, you already tried to do it and you know what outcomes you would get. Doc would blame himself if he couldn’t save you, Marvin would lock himself away in his room and refuse to come out, Jackie would take out all his emotions on fighting villains that were unbeatable, at least in his headspace, and Jamie would...” he trailed off, biting his lip. “That’s right... he wasn’t even here when I did it...” Chase blinked and violently shook his head. “PMA Chase... PMA... PMA... PM- ya know they can shove that up their arse. I need a fucking drink is what I need not some positivity bullshit,” he grumbled, going back to further examine his closet. There had to be something...

Huffing, he picked up a pair of shoes, put his hat back on his head, and wiped any evidence of tears off his face before walking out of his room. He took a deep breath right before he got to the room where all the egos were gathered - he was right about his guesses as to their activity - and strode to the door. Jackie looked up from the game as Chase walked past to get his coat. “Hey Chase, what’s up? Where’re ya going?” He sensed something off about him (but it could’ve just been paranoia) and needed to make sure nothing happened to any of his brothers.

Chase blinked. He didn’t expect any of them to notice and now all of them were staring at him and- ‘deep breaths’ he thought to himself. “I’m just... going for a walk. I’m stuck on trying to find a new idea and... need to clear my head.”

If Jackie still had his doubts, he kept them to himself. “You have your phone on you right?”

Chase held up his phone as evidence, giving a “yup” in response. With that, he walked out the front door. “Of fucking course it’s raining,” he muttered, heading towards one of the bars in town. He knew better than to try any of the ones close to the house, as they knew him and wouldn’t contribute to his addiction. Finally, he ended up at one that he didn’t even know existed, and figured it was worth a shot. He walked up to the bar and sat on the stool, surveying his options, pupils dilating by simply looking at the bottles. He told the bartender to “keep em coming until I’m so plastered I’m falling off the chair.”

The bartender eyed him, as it was 4:30 pm on a Tuesday, but didn’t question it, besides offering a “rough day?”

Chase nodded to that, “I guess you could call it that.”

The bartender handed him his drink. “If you want to just drink your cares away, go ahead. But if you want an ear then I’ll be here.”

Chase took a long swig, then registered what the bartender was saying, growling slightly. “I don’t need fucking therapy.” He finished his drink and felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

Baby Bean: “Hello Chase, it’s Jameson. Please do let us know when you will be returning. Marvin wants to know when he should begin making dinner, as he does not want your food to get cold, although given his history, you might be better off eating while you are out! 😆 I also should tell you that, while I do not know for certain, I think that some of the others are fearing that you are out getting bent, but if you say you’re just going for a walk, then I believe you! ☺️💚 Have a swell rest of your stroll!”

Chase sighed, grabbing the phone with his other hand. ‘What do I even say to this?’

“uh idk when i’ll be back. tell marv not to worry about me and not to burn the place down. also ty jj it means a lot that u trust me like that. i just wish the others would too” he deleted the last sentence, not wanting his brothers to feel guilty over not trusting him, especially when they had every right to be doubtful - considering he was actually at a bar. It also hurt to see that Jameson trusted him, because that meant he was betraying his trust, and he drank another glass at the thought.

About 20 minutes later, he felt his phone vibrate again. Judging by how it was many texts all at once, he assumed it was Marvin before he even pulled out his phone.

Magic Man: “Hey”

Magic Man: “I’m making dinner rn”

Magic Man: “It’s mac and cheese and whatever frozen chicken we have”

Magic Man: “Jamie said u were taking a longer walk but like it’s raining out and I don’t want u to get sick”

Magic Man: “Plz respond Chase”

Magic Man: “U there?”

“yo chill marv”

“i stepped inside a store to get out of the rain”

Magic Man: “Do u want one of us to pick u up??”

Magic Man: “If u lmk wya I can teleport to u”

Magic Man: “Or I’m sure Hen or Jackie would drive to get u if u just wanted to drive back”

Magic Man: “Ik how u feel abt teleporting”

Chase bit his lip before downing another glass. He forgot exactly what he was drinking, but it was alcohol and that’s all he cared about. He didn’t want to tell them that he was at a bar, not even thinking about how anyone could see or smell that he was drunk from a block away. He got another drink and almost forgot to respond before another message came through.

Magic Man: “Chase?”

Magic Man: “Plz just tell me where u r so we can pick u up”

“what so u can make fun of me??? nope i’ll b home later. i’m gonna stay here a bit longer then WALK home”

Chase put his phone away, not wanting to see Marvin’s response and just wanting to see more alcohol in his hands.

It was probably about an hour later when the bartender finally cut him off. He said that he was told to stop him when he looked like he was going to fall out of the chair and so the bartender wasn’t going to let him have any more. Plus his boss would be pissed if he let Chase leave any more intoxicated than he already was.

Chase stormed out of the bar and back into the rain before realizing he had no idea where we was. He looked around and tried to find something familiar but came up with absolutely nothing. He started walking in one direction, but it felt wrong, so he started in the opposite direction, which also felt wrong. So, he did what anyone else in his situation would do - he cried in the rain on the sidewalk of a basically empty street. After he felt he cried all he could, he looked at his notifications.

Baby Bean: 2 unread messages

Ze Best Doctah: 1 unread message

Magic Man: 13 unread messages, 2 missed calls

Spider-Man 2.0: 7 unread messages, 5 missed calls

Turtle: 1 unread message

“Shit.” Chase mumbled, scanning through the messages.

Baby Bean: “Hello Chase, Jameson again! 😊 You haven’t responded to anyone and we are all very worried about you. I’m hoping that your cellular device simply ran out of charge, but Jackie is informing me that when he tries to call you it would not ring as long as it is if your device has run out of battery.”

Baby Bean: “Chase, it’s Jameson. Where are you? I am getting increasingly worried for your safety, as is everyone else. Please respond to one of us.”

Ze Best Doctah: “Chase are you alright? You are scaring all of us. Do you need help? Or a ride? Marvin said you would not tell him where you were. I am praying you are not at a bar but right now I don’t know what to think. I trusted you would be smart and safe but now I’m not sure if you were either. Please call one of us when you see this.”

Magic Man: “Chase y do u think I would make fun of u?”

Magic Man: “R u ok?”

Magic Man: “R u mad at me?”

Magic Man: “Chase plz answer someone”

Magic Man: “If I said smth I’m sry”

Magic Man: “Just plz come home”

Magic Man: “Chase?”

Magic Man: “Ur dinner is getting cold WHERE ARE YOU”

Magic Man: “If u put on dnd I’ll b pissed”

Missed call from Magic Man

Magic Man: “Chase I stg if ur at a bar rn imma fucking deck u”

Magic Man: “No actually I’ll let Jackie do that”

Missed call from Magic Man

Magic Man: “Pick up ur damn phone Brody!!”

Magic Man: “Where tf r u????!!!!”

Spider-Man 2.0: “where did you go chase???????”

Spider-Man 2.0: “I thought you were just going on a walk”

Spider-Man 2.0: “THIS IS A VERY LONG WALK ITS BEEN HOURS”

Missed call from Spider-Man 2.0

Spider-Man 2.0: “if I have to save your ass from something or someone”

2 missed calls from Spider-Man 2.0

Spider-Man 2.0: “this isn’t funny chase”

Spider-Man 2.0: “I’m really fucking worried about you

2 missed calls from Spider-Man 2.0

Spider-Man 2.0: “CHASE I SWEAR IF YOU DONT PICK UP YOUR PHONE IM COMING TO LOOK FOR YOU”

Turtle: “Brody get your ass home RIGHT NOW!”

Chase weighed his options between who seemed the least pissed at him. Marvin and Jackieboy were obviously out. He didn’t particularly want to call Anti either. That left Henrik and Jameson. He went to the contact and pressed the call button. It barely rang before it was picked up.

“CHASE!! VERE ZEE FUCK HAFFE VOU BEEN??” Henrik shouted, his accent the thickest Chase has ever heard it, barely understandable in his drunken haze

“I’m sorry Hen” he slurred

“Chase vere are vou? Are vou fucking betrunken?!”

“Hen, Hen what? I-I don’t know what... what you’re saying.”

“HES ASKING IF YOU’RE DRUNK ASSHOLE!” Jackie shouted. “You’re on speakerphone you dick!”

Chase couldn’t see it but Jameson was trying to tell Jackie to calm down.

“OH FUCK NO THIS IS AS CALM AS I’LL BE JAMIE!”

Chase sat down on the sidewalk, leaning against a building. “I’m not fucking drunk,” he slurred

“Tell that to your voice.” Marvin piped up.

“Fiiiiiiiineeeeee mayyybeee I had a drink or few. Happy?”

“How many is ein few?”

Chase snorted and started laughing like that was just the funniest thing ever. “Fuck if I know, I wasn’t counting.”

“Chase where are you?” The static behind the phone let him know it was Anti and he whimpered.

“You’ll be mad at me...”

“WE’RE ALREADY MAD AT YOU DIPSHIT!” Jackie yelled. Henrik left the phone on the table while he grabbed his shoes and a jacket, figuring that because Chase called him, he should be the one to get him.

Chase suddenly got quiet. “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Marvin furrowed his eyebrows.

“I mean I’m lost... that’s why I called... I was at a bar, then tried to walk home and got lost.”

There was silence for a little while. Marvin suddenly stepped towards an open area of floor and started mumbling a spell. “He’s on the corner of Center Street and Behmer Drive. A block down from a bar.” Henrik nodded, grabbing his phone and getting into the car.

“Chase stay on ze phone ja?”

“Okayyyy.” Chase yawned. “Hen I’m tired.”

“Vell I vill not carry vou in so vou need to stay avake”

“But I’m sleepyyyyyyy” Henrik sighed, driving as fast as he could without getting arrested until he saw a familiar figure all the while trying to keep said person awake. He pulled over and got out of the car. Chase stood up, but he stood up too quickly and vomited, luckily for him none of it got on Henrik. As soon as he was done, he was ushered into the car.

“I von’t um... vhat is that expression? Chew vou out now, vou vill certainly get enough shit vrom Jackieboy and Marvin.”

“Thank you,” Chase mumbled, the heat of the car feeling nice on his cold wet body.

“Und vour hangover und sickness vill be more zan enough punishment tomorrow.”

“I’m real sorry Hen.”

“Zat is vhat vou zaid last time. Und vou did it again. Vou must earn mein trust back Chase. Jamie’s too. Und vou vill be lucky if ze ozers trust vou again soon.” All of a sudden, Chase broke into sobs. He thought he didn’t have anymore tears left in him, but apparently he was wrong.

“Please don’t make me see them Hen... I’m just so weak and pathetic and you all are important. All I have is... is... I’m just useless. What have I ever been besides a nuisance? With all my whining about Stacy, over reacting to a couple sad days and calling it depression, my-my bad habits and self destructive tendencies... I’m surprised you all still keep me around,” Chase’s whole body shook with his sobs.

There was a lot to unpack there and Henrik had no clue where to start. He pulled into the driveway and put the car in park, turning to face Chase. “Chase... how long have vou been feeling like zis?”

He just shrugged. “I dunno... a while now, maybe a year or so?”

“Vhy didn’t vou say anyzing?”

“I was scared you would realize your mistake and kick me out.” He mumbled. It was quiet, but Henrik heard it loud and clear.

“Ve vould never dream of it Chase. Vou are far from useless-“

“Oh yeah? Name one thing that I’ve done that actually helped!”

Henrik went silent as his brain tried to think of a good example that wasn’t easily written off because he knew that anything he said would be torn to bits anyway.

“Thought so.” Chase shook his head. “I actually thought you were gonna say something too. Guess I can add moron to the list.”

“Chase stop-“

“Oh look, I’m being a bother yet again. Shocking.” He got out of the car, slamming the door, puked in the grass, then went inside, ready to be reminded yet again of how weak and pathetic he was.

The second he opened the door was the second the yelling began. He didn’t even bother protesting because they were all right. He screwed up, could’ve died, worried them all.

“Do you have ANY idea how scared we were?! I thought I was going to get a call from a hospital that you were hurt or DEAD! We all were so worried-“

“I DIDN’T ASK YOU TO CARE!” Chase snapped.

“WELL SCREW YOU TOO! I’m your brother!” Jackie fired right back.

‘Ok I think that’s enough’ Jameson tried to intervene, but of course, nobody was paying attention to him. Well, nobody except one person who did happen to notice. Anti stepped in between the two.

“That is enough.” His voice caused everyone to stop yelling, Jameson signing a small thank you towards him. “It seems like Chase has already berated himself over and over, haven’t you? I’m not inside your head, chill out, but you’re fucking screaming it with your body language. You seem to forget that you all can’t hide anything from me. And, I can assure you Chase, you aren’t faking anything, and we all would care.

“Don’t you see? Look around you Brody! Jackieboy is yelling at you because he was scared, and cares so damn much about you. Marvin had so much anxious energy that while he was pacing he started to fucking glow. Yes Marvin, I saw that. Jameson wasn’t signing anything, he just retreated into his mind again, like he always does when he’s worried. Henrik was prepping his work station just in case you came home half dead and was shaking so much he dropped half his equipment. And I-” Anti took a deep breath “I was glitching so much I disappeared for a little bit, just static filling my place. I’m still glitching a lot, and it is taking all of my energy to stay present enough to knock some sense into your drunken mind! We care about you because we all have no idea what we would do without you here!” He balled his hands into fists, and stared down Chase, watching him deflate even more than he already was. He shook his head, retreating to his room where he resumed his excessive glitching.

Jameson was the first one to recover. ‘Chase? What did Anti mean about “you aren’t faking anything, and we all would care”?’ When he was met with a blank stare, he sighed and looked to one of the others to translate. Marvin was the one to interpret for Chase.

“I... I had it in my head that... that I was just faking my depression... that I was just sad a bit. And that... that nobody would care if I... if I... tried again.” Everyone in the room but Jameson understood, and Jameson wasn’t quite sure if he wanted to know. His mind supplied an answer and he didn’t like it. Jackie was the one to walk over to Chase and engulf him in a hug. The rest soon followed, and Chase began to cry again into Jackie’s shoulder. After a while they one by one let go, and Chase looked between them all before going to his room and passing out on his bed.

#who cares #kaiden writes #my fanfic #jacksepticeye #chase brody #henrik von schneeplestein #marvin the magnificent #jackieboy man #jameson jackson #antisepticeye #angst #depression #alcoholism #addiction #suicide mention #suicidal thoughts #yall im not dead

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infinite-inferno · 5 years

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“I’m the hero of every story! I’m a prince, meanwhile what are you? You’re just a duke who couldn’t keep control of his people.” Roman flopped down onto the throne, sitting sideways with his legs hanging off the edge. “You made a very comfortable throne brother, I’m impressed! But the colors are a little off...” with a snap of his fingers, the black green and silver throne became white red and gold. “Perfect.”

“You can’t do this Roman! We agreed not to interfere with each other’s parts of the imagination! You promised Patton just as I did!” Remus crossed his arms pouting. “I’m gonna go tell him-”

“No you’re not. I just locked the imagination to everyone but me, so you’re not leaving here baby dukey.”

“We’re the same age!” Remus huffed. “Fine, I’ll just go to your kingdom and take it over, see how you like that!”

“Nope, I locked you in this part of the imagination, mine remains sealed to all but me. Now, if you’re done, I’m going to explore and greet my subjects.”

“As far as I’m concerned, I’ve done nothing wrong,” the villain said, leaning back against their throne. Their sharp smile said otherwise.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #roman #remus #evil roman #prompt #kaiden writes

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infinite-inferno · 5 years

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Explosion of Emotion

Ships: Platonic (although could be read as romantic if you squint) Analogical, an “it’s complicated” Logince (not romantic though)

Warnings: mention of possible character death, hatred of a minority, this got a lot sadder than I anticipated whoops

To everyone else, he was completely normal. The Collection of People With Powers (CPWP) had shown up at his place several times before but couldn’t find evidence that he had any special abilities. He was one of the lucky ones.

Logan grew up in a remote section of Florida where there weren’t many houses and the closest one was a good distance away, hiding in their little town for the same reason. Logan and Virgil quickly became best friends, both having unique powers that weren’t all that difficult to control as children, they just had to keep their emotions in check. For Virgil, as he grew older it was easier said than done. Logan will never forget the first time the CPWP showed up on their street; Virgil was in the midst of a severe panic attack, causing intense bouts of lightning to plague the area around him. Logan saw from his room the first strikes of lightning, listening for the difference between the lightning and thunder and paled when there was barely any. He darted out of the house, the earth buzzing around him and ran to Virgil’s side. Logan knew better than to get too close, but tried to provide aid the best he could. He concentrated all his energy on feeling calm and sympathy, a soft yellow glow filling the area becoming more riddled with lightning by the second. It seemed to be working, or at least slightly helping, when he heard sirens in the distance, abruptly ending his feelings. His mother told him when he heard that specific siren to turn all his emotions off as best he could, or at the very least mute them. Virgil’s parents told him this also, but in his current state it was impossible. Logan watched as agents came and took away his best friend from the closet door, Virgil’s parents sobbing, his father abandoning trying to ease Virgil out of his panic attack and tried to stop the agents from getting to his son, but there were too many of them. When the truck drove away, the whole street was eerily silent save for a few sobs. Logan went home and cried, hugging his mother, a blue glow surrounding himself and lighting up the house, and water seeped out of the faucets in time with Logan’s tears.

That was the day he resolved to never show any emotion again.

Now 26, he still kept that resolve, burying his emotions in his grad work and his research and anything else he could think of to keep his mind busy and his heart in his chest. He’s been emotionless for 15 years and was trying his best to keep that streak going. It was hard when he was forced to share an apartment with a certain Roman Prince. Sharing an apartment wasn’t new to Logan - he was lucky enough to have 2 roommates in his dorm in college (that was definitely the worst one of all), and had to share an apartment after moving out of the dorms (usually with just one other person but he has shared a 2 bedroom with 3 other people. The person he shared the bedroom with however worked mostly nights so they always crossed paths and rarely had to interact.

Roman Prince however was loud, always singing Disney songs or practicing for his play/musical, and loved to have friends over and party. Not to mention he had a more negative (obviously more uninformed than anything but still negative) view of people with powers. They disagreed on many other political issues but that was the one that ticked Logan off the most. Not to mention they both had relatively similar schedules so they were both in the apartment at the same time all the time.

Logan came back from a particularly exhausting and emotionally draining day of classes and wanted nothing else but peace and quiet, and maybe a nap (he knew full well how it would affect his sleeping habits but at this point he didn’t care). So, to walk through the door and see Roman blasting some song from some musical and belting it brought out all emotions that he was repressing, a rainbow glow surrounding him before landing on a firey red. “Can you shut up for one second?!” Logan yelled, causing Roman to look over, and upon seeing the glow he gasped, eyes widening and went to pick up his phone and dial the number for CPWP when the glass started cracking. “Don’t. You. Dare.” Logan growled, only making Roman more scared. Roman paused the music and dropped the phone, putting his hands up defensively, not knowing what was happening.

“Hey man calm down-”

“I’ve been calm for too long, so this isn’t gonna be pretty,” Logan grumbled, hearing more glass slowly crack. As the red glow grew in the apartment and reached Roman, the defenseless roommate was filled with rage and fear. This sudden rage brought out something ugly in Roman that he didn’t even know existed.

“Logan I trusted you! But you’re just another dirty freak! I should call the agents right now! Then you can be back with all your freak friends and rotting in someplace far away from here! Although who knows, all your disgusting friends might have died already-”

“VIRGIL ISN’T DEAD!” Logan burst, and suddenly everything went still as Logan sunk to his knees. The red glow retreated and a soft blue took it’s place. He could hear the kitchen sink start to drip as a single tear ran down his face. “He can’t be dead...” Logan trailed off, looking down at the floor as the glow slowly reached Roman. “If you want to call them, go ahead. I understand.”

Roman was silent for a few minutes before sitting down across from him, his phone forgotten behind him. “Do you wanna talk about it? About him?” Roman prompted, “You might feel better if you do.”

“I suppose there is science to back up your statement, so even though I don’t wish to, I will talk about it.” Logan went on to explain basically his entire childhood, ending with how he resolved to keep his emotions in check and bottled up.

“Wow... I’m really sorry for calling you a robot... and a freak just now. There are healthier ways to manage your emotions though without letting them all explode on you like that.” As Roman was talking, Logan looked around and realized how big of a scene he made and jumped up, running to his bed, grabbing a bag that was underneath it and heading for the door. “Hey, wait where are you going?”

“I have to get out of here in case one of the neighbors called someone. I’ll be back later. Do me a favor and either come up with a cover story for the cracked glass or just get rid of it? If they show up and see that and I’m not here, you would most likely be taken in instead and I can’t deal with that guilt.” Logan spoke before swiftly leaving the apartment building.

He knew he would need to have a lengthier conversation with Roman later, but for now he just needed to focus on getting to his research lab and set up the pull out sofa. If someone else came in he had a plethora of excuses from working late to another one of Roman’s parties. He had tonight covered. It was tomorrow he had no idea about, but that’s not something he needs to worry about tonight.

literally there is nothing on earth more fun than characters with powers that respond to their emotions like that is truly the best shit in the world

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #logan #roman #virgil #analogical #logince #platonic analogical #kaiden writes #fanfic

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infinite-inferno · 5 years

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The Hoodie

Prompt: “Is that my sweater? I’m going to have to burn that thing now that you’ve contaminated it!”

Ships: Prinxiety

Virgil absolutely loved hoodies - anyone could tell you that without even knowing him. Whether it’s the dead of winter or the hottest day of the summer, he would always be wearing one of his many hoodies. So, when he noticed one was missing, he completely flipped out.

Roman, hearing the sounds of his distressed roommate, walked up to Virgil and tapped him on the shoulder. “Is something the matter All the Time Low?”

“Yes! I can’t find my favorite Heathers hoodie and I’ve looked everywher- oh my god you’re wearing it. Welp, I guess I’m going to have to burn that thing now that you’ve contaminated it!” Virgil flopped onto his bed and Roman started laughing hysterically. “Oh shut up and take it off before I burn it while you’re still wearing it.” Virgil grumbled and Roman took it off. Virgil looked over at him and wished he didn’t because his roommate wasn’t wearing an undershirt and holy crap he’s ripped how did I not know this-

“Take a picture Gerard Gay, it’ll last longer.” Roman smirked, adding in a wink for good measure before tossing him the hoodie. Virgil just blinked as Roman walked out of his room, the emo’s face as red as Heather Chandler’s scrunchie.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #prinxiety #roman #virgil #fanfic #kaiden writes #prompt

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infinite-inferno · 5 years

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Oh No

Prompt: “Should I be worried?” “Is the grass green?”

Ships: Platonic Analogical, Platonic Moxiety

Logan walked into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee and some breakfast when his eyes landed on Virgil sitting upside down on top of the refrigerator with many cans of Redbull, a Starbucks cup that’s been refilled who knows how many times, and an empty bottle of alcohol spilled around him. Virgil’s eyes were bloodshot and he was scrolling through TikTok after spending hours on Tumblr and Reddit and running out of content. Logan cleared his throat and Virgil looked up at him, almost falling onto the ground and sat up criss cross on the fridge.

“Virgil, should I be worried?”

“Is the grass green?”

“How long have you been awake for?”

“Uh... I’m not sure. What day is it?”

“Today is September 1st.”

“So then about a week I think?” Virgil shrugged, continuing his browsing of TikTok when Logan summoned a sleepy Patton.

“Logan? What’s up?” Patton rubbed his eyes, obviously just woken up.

“Virgil is. He hasn’t slept in a week-”

“WHAT?” And without another word, Patton activated Dad Mode and got Virgil off of the fridge, in bed, and got him to sleep somehow through his Dad Magic before going back to bed himself.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #analogical #moxiety #virgil #logan #patton #prompt #kaiden writes

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infinite-inferno · 5 years

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Sharing is Caring

Characters: Roman, Remus, mentions of Patton and Virgil

Ship(s): Prinxiety

This was supposed to be a crack fic I don’t know what happened.

Roman hated having a twin brother for many reasons. Many of them could be summed up by his personality, but a large one was that it was so inconvenient. Somehow, Roman’s theory is that they had been conjoined twins, there was only one set of legs for them to share.

When they were kids, it hadn’t been that much of an issue. Patton decided the best compromise was for neither of them to have access to the legs, so both twins usually got around in a wheelchair or something similar (for a while Roman had created a unicorn that accommodated his disability, causing Remus to create something for himself). Neither twin had too much of a complaint, as the others made the disability seem like less of a hindrance. However, as time went on they both wanted to use the legs and get out of the chair, Roman especially (“How can I fight evil from sitting down!” “No other prince uses a stupid chair to save the damsel in distress!”). No matter how much Patton tried to console him and try and tell him that he doesn’t need the legs to be an awesome heroic prince, he still complained about it, considering he should be able to, all he had to do was put on the legs, but Patton knew once that happened, there would be no rest between the twins, causing constant bickering amongst the two.

Roman however, in his stubbornness, located where the legs were hidden and attached them. When Remus saw this, they had their first of many arguments on the topic. Patton’s prediction was right, and it actually drew the once-close twins apart, each resenting the other. It was not uncommon for one twin to shout that they wanted their turn on the legs, and even though Patton tried to get them to compromise (alternating who gets the legs) they both decided to ignore that. The only way to get their turn was to steal them from the other.

So, when Roman woke up and found that Remus stole the legs from him while he was sleeping, it wasn’t a surprise, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t mad about it. He shimmied himself into his wheelchair (both of them took to keeping it by their bed even if they went to sleep with the legs because it was very likely they wouldn’t have them in the morning) and made his way to the door between their rooms and obnoxiously pounded on it. Remus walked over smirking, opening the door looking at his pissed off brother.

“Yes Roman? Is there a problem?”

“You know exactly what the issue is, now give them back!”

“No can do Voldemoron, I need them today. Besides what could you possibly need them for?”

“If you really want to know, I have a date tonight. Say what were you doing tonight? Wallowing in your single pity?” Roman smirked.

“C’mon, it’s not like you haven’t been on dates with Virgil before without the legs! Why is tonight any different?!”

“I need to be on my knees-”

“NOPE! I am not giving these up so you can suck his-”

“I am proposing you Disgusting Duke of Weaseltown!” Roman yelled. Luckily Virgil’s room was in the complete opposite section of the house. Remus was too stunned to be offended at the nickname, and just stood there blinking.

“What time is your date?”

“Just before sunset. If you give them to me today, I will willingly give them to you for all of tomorrow.”

Remus thought it over before grabbing his chair that looked like it was created by a Disney villain. “You better keep your word, or else you may find yourself with all your body parts in the wrong place tomorrow,” he said before laughing at the mental image of what he would do. Roman rolled his eyes before taking the legs.

“A prince always keeps his word.”

And he did, much to Remus’s dismay who really wanted to contort Roman’s body like the good chaotic evil sibling he was.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #roman #remus #virgil #prinxiety #patton #creativitwins #crack fic #at least it was supposed to be #not quite sure what happened #sharing is caring #does roman has legs #headcanon there is only one set of legs they both share #i will die by that headcanon

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