insert-inconspicuous-name-here

[insert-inconspicuous-name-here]

Morticia and Gomez Addams are the only acceptable and irrefutable examples of soulmates in all sources of media throughout a century of stories.

I know there have been great romances and great stories about it overall, but The Addams showcase such a full and whole romantic partnership that very few couples are capable of standing up to.

I'm exhausted and my English isn't Englishing-

Gomez worships the ground Morticia walks on, and he is the air she breathes. They are so fully passionate and involved towards each other, they go beyond husband and wife, they are literally partners in everything and it is beautiful.

They are unapologetically themselves and they don't give a f0ck about what other people will think. That's what I've always wanted, that's the goal and anything less than that is just less than ideal.

again, laying in bed thoughts. exhausted.

[insert-inconspicuous-name-here]

To my middle-ground;

lonely, lonely, lonely...

When I thought I could find someone who would be able to fall for me for who I am, and realised that, yet again, that was not the case, I was in a state which I can't find words to describe. It wasn't disappointing as I always thought- even if the thought was buried deep- that such a person doesn't exist. It wasn't heartbreaking, for some reason I fell out of love pretty easily once I saw things as they were. It was just an unexpected cold shower. I felt cold. I felt cold and I didn't see it coming.

But I know that wasn't on me. I didn't want dependency, I didn't want a selfish obsession. I wanted to be seen. To be seen and not "looked away". I wanted to be loved. To be loved for me. Not for how I make someone feel about themselves, at least not just that; but for myself.

It was crazy; and it damaged me.

And again came the thought, although not as hurting, that maybe I didn't have someone. No someone for me.

But what to do when someone who is clearly mentally stable -as mentally stable as someone can be with their own hurts, their own wounds, their own 'broken'- sees you and turns away? When all of those who weren't clearly mentally unstable saw you and always looked away?

What to do when one feels the touch of a lover for the first time when it's far overdue? A warm touch of someone who wants you? Who desires you? Only to learn, a few hours later, that -yet again- you did something wrong?

Always wrong. Always unworthy. Always alone.

There is something wrong with me.

And as I attract the overly-broken and chase away the stable-despite-broken, I find myself... hurting. Hurting over the middle-ground-broken. My middle ground.

If they are out there, will I find them? Or will I chase them away as well? Or will I just break them further? Does it even exist for me?

These thoughts hurt me. They break me. It's like an old, broken tap. Drip drip drip. Alone alone alone. Those old taps have the strange habit of stop the dripping for a day or two, only to start all over again- dripping in the middle of the night, when all is silent and that is all you can hear.

And the thing about the person writing this is that after breaking and fixing myself over and over and over and over and over again, for more times than I can count, without help, without people even knowing I was breaking right in front of them, is that I start to wonder how much glue I've got left?

Falling apart over a new illusion of acceptance and affection and putting yourself together again afterwards it's tiring, and it doesn't get easier with repetition.

I am alone and I want someone to want me. I want to want someone. I want to want someone who wants me. For me.

And if there are too many "me"s or too much "pity party" in this text, I simply do not care. I'm sick and tired of being alone, but there is no way around it. I'm tired of trying.

My middle-ground is not out there. Maybe my middle-ground has their own middle-ground, who makes them happy and that is not me.

[insert-inconspicuous-name-here]

And Merlin is still waiting

[insert-inconspicuous-name-here]

Thinking about how Gaius was on a white horse while Merlin and Arthur were on black horses.....

Like Gaius is riding back to Camelot, to life, to live

And Merlin and Arthur are riding towards nothing but despair, pain, and death.

[insert-inconspicuous-name-here]

Witches have midnight

Demons have 3am

Merlin fandom has Christmas Eve

[insert-inconspicuous-name-here]

You can't have Christmas eve without Merlin trending.

You just can't.

[insert-inconspicuous-name-here]

Merlin isn’t trending and it’s Christmas Eve, everyone ok out there?

[insert-inconspicuous-name-here]

Hm guys it’s Christmas Eve but as far as I know Merlin hasn’t trended yet… gna need that to happen immediately.

[insert-inconspicuous-name-here]

ITS CHRISTMAS EVE……

[insert-inconspicuous-name-here]

HAPPY 12 YEARS SINCE ARTHUR PENDRAGON STABBED TO DEATH!!!!!!!

[insert-inconspicuous-name-here]

happy merlin finale anniversary to all who mourn celebrate!

[insert-inconspicuous-name-here]

my roman empire is that merlin’s still waiting.

[insert-inconspicuous-name-here]

Me, on December 23, waiting for BBC Merlin to start trending again.

[insert-inconspicuous-name-here]

His face is like "fuck history. give me my boyfriend back you giant-magical-lizard."

and if that ain’t the truth.   happy merlin anniversary everyone.

may merlin continue to live long in our minds and our hearts.❤️

[insert-inconspicuous-name-here]

you're celebrating christmas eve. merlin is out there living yet another year without arthur and you're celebrating.

[insert-inconspicuous-name-here]

The Hanged Man is the card that suggests ultimate surrender, sacrifice, or being suspended in time. Also known as traitor.

[insert-inconspicuous-name-here]

Wip TimeBomb 💣⌛

Baseado em alguns tweets que eu fiz hj mais cedo sobre como seria a roupa de casamento deles, bjo