islandswithinourselves - Tumblr blog

[islandswithinourselves]

Different Divination Methods

acultomancy divination using needles aeromancy divination by means of the weather ailuromancy divination by watching cats’ movements alectormancy divination by sacrificing a rooster alectryomancy divination by watching a rooster gather corn kernels aleuromancy divination using flour or meal alomancy divination using salt alphitomancy divination using loaves of barley alveromancy divination using sounds ambulomancy divination by taking a walk amniomancy divination by examining afterbirth anthomancy divination using flowers anthracomancy divination using burning coals anthropomancy divination using human entrails apantomancy divination using objects at hand arithmancy divination using numbers armomancy divination by examining one’s shoulders aspidomancy divination by sitting and chanting within a circle astragalomancy divination using dice or knucklebones astromancy divination using stars austromancy divination using wind axinomancy divination using an axe or hatchet batraquomancy divination using frogs belomancy divination by means of arrows bibliomancy divination by opening a book at random botanomancy divination using burning branches or plants brontomancy divination using thunder capnomancy divination by means of smoke cartomancy telling fortunes using playing cards catoptromancy divination by examining mirror placed underwater causimancy divination by means of fire ceneromancy divination using ashes cephalonomancy divination by boiling an ass head ceraunomancy divination using thunderbolts ceraunoscopy divination using lightning ceromancy divination by means of wax drippings ceroscopy divination using wax chaomancy divination by examining phenomena of the air chirognomy divination by studying the hands chiromancy divination by means of palmistry chronomancy divination by means of time cleidomancy divination using keys cleromancy divination using dice conchomancy divination using shells coscinomancy divination using a sieve and a pair of shears crithomancy divination by strewing meal over sacrifices critomancy divination using viands and cakes cromnyomancy divination using onions crystallomancy divination by means of clear objects crystalomancy divination using a crystal globe cubomancy divination by throwing dice dactyliomancy divination by means of a finger dactylomancy divination using rings daphnomancy divination using a laurel demonomancy divination using demons dririmancy divination by observing dripping blood emonomancy divination using demons enoptromancy divination using mirrors eromancy divination using water vessels extispicy divination using entrails floromancy belief that flowers have feelings gastromancy divination by sounds from the belly geloscopy fortune-telling by means of laughter geomancy divination by casting earth onto a surface grafology divination by studying writing graptomancy divination by studying handwriting gyromancy divination by falling from dizziness halomancy divination using salt haruspication divination by inspecting animal entrails hematomancy divination using blood hepatoscopy divination by examining animal livers hieromancy divination by studying objects offered in sacrifice hieroscopy divination using entrails hippomancy divination using horses hydromancy divination using water hypnomancy divination using sleep ichnomancy divination using footprints ichthyomancy divination by inspecting fish entrails iconomancy divination using icons idolomancy divination using idols kephalonomancy divination using a baked ass’s head keraunoscopia divination using thunder knissomancy divination using burning incense labiomancy lip reading lampadomancy divination by flame lecanomancy divination using water in a basin or pool libanomancy divination by watching incense smoke lithomancy divination by stones or meteorites logarithmancy divination by means of algorithms logomancy divination using words macromancy divination using large objects maculomancy divination using spots margaritomancy divination using pearls mathemancy divination by counting meconomancy divination using sleep meteoromancy divination by studying meteors metopomancy divination using the forehead or face metoposcopy fortune-telling or judgement of character by the lines of the forehead micromancy divination using small objects myomancy divination from the movements of mice narcomancy divination using sleep necromancy divination by communicating with spirits or the dead necyomancy divination by summoning Satan nomancy divination by examining letters of name odontomancy divination using teeth oenomancy divination by studying appearance of wine oinomancy divination using wine ololygmancy fortune-telling by the howling of dogs omoplatoscopy divination by observing cracks in burning scapulae omphalomancy divination from the knots in the umbilical cord oneiromancy divination by dreams onomancy divination using a donkey or ass onomancy divination using proper names onychomancy divination by the fingernails onymancy divination by the fingernails oomancy divination using eggs ophidiomancy divination using snakes ophiomancy divination by watching snakes ornithomancy divination by observing flight of birds oryctomancy divination using excavated objects ossomancy divination using bones osteomancy divination using bones ouranomancy divination using the heavens pedomancy divination by examining the soles of the feet pegomancy divination by springs or fountains pessomancy divination using pebbles phyllomancy divination using leaves or tea leaves physiognomancy divination by studying the face psephomancy divination by drawing lots or markers at random psychomancy divination by means of spirits pyromancy divination using fire retromancy divination by looking over one’s shoulder rhabdomancy divination using a rod or stick rhapsodomancy divination by opening works of poetry at random scapulomancy divination by examining burnt shoulder blade scatomancy divination by studying excrement scatoscopy divination by studying excrement; scatomancy schematomancy divination using the human form sciomancy divination using ghosts scyphomancy divination by means of a cup selenomancy divination by studying the moon sideromancy divination using stars; divination by burning straws sortilege divination by drawing lots spasmatomancy divination by twitching or convulsions of the body spatilomancy divination by means of feces spheromancy divination using a crystal ball spodomancy divination by means of ashes stercomancy fortune-telling by studying seeds in dung stichomancy divination by picking passages from books at random stolisomancy divination by observing how one dresses oneself sycomancy divination using fig leaves tephromancy divination by ashes theomancy divination by means of oracles thrioboly divination using pebbles thumomancy divination by means of one's own soul tiromancy divination using cheese topomancy divination using landforms trochomancy divination by studying wheel tracks tyromancy divination using cheese uranomancy divination by studying the heavens urimancy divination by observing urine xenomancy divination using strangers xylomancy divination by examining wood found in one’s path zoomancy divination by observing animals

[islandswithinourselves]

Dejected Microcosm of the Human Experience Overview

Thank all of you for your insight, it has helped me see how I’m going to evolve Dejected Microcosm of the Human Experience (DMotHE). I’m going to return to this work in a few weeks with a fresh set of eyes. As an installation I’m considering splitting the footage into two separate video pieces that represent disassociation and transcendence. With the option to make it into a film. Right now it is set up so the opposing sides are the internal and external responses to the goings on. I really enjoyed how immersed the audience was in the work as an installation. I definitely want to work more on integrating each panel together. I feel like that will make the dejected microcosm side more engaging and further interwove the narrative.

My process for this work was structure, structure, structure, then a removal of myself from the structure to diminish anything that wasn’t working or to make any necessary reiterations and repeat. I used this divination chart based on a read I had from the Thoth deck by Aleister Crowley (left) and the Sirian Starseed (right) tarot deck. I find the Thoth deck to have darker elements/malevolent and the Starseed one to be more divine/benevolent. Every word and number has it’s own personal, social and cosmic meaning.

This work incorporated a variety of timelapses of me walking and of the sky. I’ve been working on a melodic script which I’ll add to the finalized piece to add a deeper sense of emotion. I presented it with just snip bits of talk through narration which weren’t as crisp as I would have hoped. Ultimately I want people to gain their own unique experiences with the stimuli they encounter throughout.

My practice has been about my own personal mythology as a necromancer for just over a year now but oddly enough all the works I’ve created before this were more based on rituals and urban fantasy. This is one of my first work in the genre of magical realism - the unexplanable in the everyday. This is dawning on me as a type. I’m hoping to create more work like this that is a more raw representation of my soul.

I’ve become very interested in cognitive distortions as emotional resilience and ways of using existential therapy as a means of coming to terms with the givens of life. The catalyst to my interests in these topics is that I for quite some time had been completely disassociated from reality. It is only within the last year that I have found my way back down to earth, so to speak. For me this disassociation brought with it the most profound spiritual experiences of my life.. DMotHE was inspired by an ego death I had in which I experienced particle fusion. This is a very advanced mystical topic but just the one that I needed to create a series that was as latent in metaphor and symbolism as a Matthew Barney work.

I see each and every single one of us as microcosms in that we are all one mind/spirit infused in one body. We all experience this sense of absolute isolation within ourselves for no one else sees life through our eyes. The idea of being a product of society really struck me as I was out filming the walking portion, with a camera strapped to my glasses. One can become dejected for a number of reasons such as a moral disturbance or a deep rooted disdain.

I had a tricky time explaining the emotional reaction scene in class. Upon reflection, I believe we must exude our lower caliber frequencies of consciousness in order to resolve them or else they’ll continue to be a burden on us. Often people will bury their emotions or do what they can to remove unwanted feelings from themselves or turn a blind eye. I’m hoping to push this piece so that it’s more clear that experiencing the ultimate lows can grant us a revelation not just spiritual in nature but an acceptance what we may see as abysmal. I’ve learned to feed the fear with love as part of my practice of self-preservation. Aesthetically for me the journey has been about redefining what is perceived as beauty.

[islandswithinourselves]

Personal Mythology in Art

Last class we were shown personal mythology pieces from three artists, each of their work opened me up to a new way to approach my own work as I create my own personal mythology. There is a lot that can be said about Matthew Barney, so for the sake of this response I will elaborate on the Cremaster cycle. His work really spoke to me on several different levels, I will listed off points that stand out the most to me:

Firstly, the amount of layers he uses in his work is outstanding. It doesn’t overwhelm me to the point of confusion but rather allows me to connect the dots for myself. Discovering that there are 2 beginnings, 2 ends and several other points of entry. This manipulation of storyline is really intriguing to me and something I’d like to explore.

Use of ambiguity for even Matthew himself chooses to not know an element of his work for he believes art should be unresolved for when it is fully resolved that is when the piece specifically becomes what it is depicting rather than leaving room for what lies beyond the imagery or symbolism

Use elements of his own personal mythology going up as an athlete then attending Yale where he started filming videos. Also evident is his own interests with Harry Houdini and serial killers along with history.

I appreciate what Barney says about approaching art without preconceptions for this is the only way to rationalize the irrationality of it. A technique he uses to achieve this are gender/identity bending to create sexual or biological allusions.

In the article he mentions that when working as a model he needed to step outside of himself in order to perform. This is something I find rather intriguing as a performance artist who has an interest in necromancy, it’s like channeling another essence that is not of your own through your body.

He had started making installation based video work but then discovered cinema to be the best way to invite the audience into the work, allowing them to view it in theatres opposed to needing them to come to the installation.

As mentioned in the article Temporalities of Video, Bill Viola enhances the sensation, attention and cognitive facilities of the viewer by modulating our perception, cognition and memory in his video piece. Viola often works in slow motion to really signify the gestures in the work, a cinematic technique used to call attention to what may be problematic about what’s happening on screen. Expanded or suspended time in video art can alleviate one of their fixation to time.

Viola became increasingly interested in art history which became evident in his later work. How he describes the annunciation scene as receiving deeper knowledge almost from another dimension or another level of consciousness gave me chills. It is through this sort of introspective mediation, where one can truly get to know themselves as individuals. Looking outward one can see who they are on a social level, whereas intuition and self-awareness/actualization comes from looking within one’s self.

I was watching one of Viola’s artist talks and he was talking about how in this day and age our pointer finger has the ability to end a relationship, drop bombs, pull a trigger - all these immensely awful things at the touch of button or switch, I found it very assuring to hear that while something may be the cause to all these terrible things it also has the ability to point someone in the right direction, tickle a friend or caress a lover - all sort of loving and gentle things. It’s not the object that is bad, it’s the intention put into it.

Shiran Najat work represents the differences between men and women in middle eastern. She made her way back Iran when it was first safe to do so after the revolution. It is only in studying abroad and coming back to her homeland that her work took on a political element, for she had this strong conviction that these struggles needed to be heard. In her earlier video work there is a clear separation between men and women. Later she begins to start bringing them together but the spatial and social divide is still quite clear between them.

What I appreciate about these three artists is that they don’t adhere to the premise of the “art world.” It is through their remediation and experimentation that they were able to fuse aspects of cinema, performance and art into incredible films and video installations. Avoiding what can be seen as clique so that their process and approach itself gave the work several layers of meaning.

[islandswithinourselves]

Video as Temporal Art

In the article The Temporalities of Video one of the first things mentioned in this article is that video is time. Certainly over the last century artists have learned to use this element of time in video, a medium which is able to capture the motion, colour and essence through the eye of the lens. I’ve latched onto this idea that video as ornamental time. For art is decorated space. Music and video are decorated time.  Last week I went to Laurel Johannessen’s artist about temporality in art. I have always been marveled by the complexities and simplicity of time having looked into its celestial qualities. We are more drawn to seeing it in its linear format and have readily adapted to this stratagem as a form of order based on our planetary rotation around the Sun. I’ve always found this idea of nonlinear time so fascinating and something I’d like to explore more in my video work.

It just so happens that last week I gave a presentation on synesthesia and how it is the merging of two temporalities. I’ve experienced spatial-temporal (space-time) and lexical-gustatory (sound-taste) synesthesia. On a molecular level one experiences synesthesia when two particles become one. For me, the lexical-gustatory sensations are the involuntary fusion of sounds particles and taste particles into sound-taste particles processed in the parietal lobe which controls multisensory perception.  Spatial-temporal synesthesia can be seen as seeing the velocity of something in motion or seeing in the fourth-dimension. It is also seeing mental maps appear before one’s eyes whether voluntarily or involuntary. I have personally experienced this kind of synesthesia as involuntary manifestations which make it either feel like my thoughts are coming forth before my eyes or seeing time as a string opposed to a point.

Post-modern artists have been transforming time to where it is the different temporalities are mutated for effect. This whole idea of the past as loss and the future as increasingly uncertainty ties into my practice. Lately I have been creating works that explore with the givens of life which include uncertainty, anxiety, loss, change, worry etc. People will deceive themselves of these things to protect the ego form being hurt, most often seen as a disorder or a cognitive distortion but this can also be seen as mental or emotional resilience. I believe mutating time, space and temporalities will be a good way to bring these ideas/ordeals to the forefront in my work.

Loops have been using in a number of ways in contemporary art. For instance Bruce Nauman’s early works were around an hour long but later he uses them in shorter durations within installations. Willie Dorthery creates longer loops around 7 minutes usually consisting of narrative. Dorthery’s work Non Specific made interesting use of language, here we are staring at this man from all angles as he says vaguely passive and aggressive things. The ambiguity was the focus of this work for it makes the audience question this guy’s intentions for you don’t really know what’s going on in one’s head, only what is suggested to you by their body language.

[islandswithinourselves]

Deleting my Facebook

I am 9415 days old. I've been on Facebook for 3410 days. So I've spent about a third of my life using this website. If I average that out to an hour a day = 3410 hours = 142 days = 1.5% of my life spent on Facebook, this doesn't even include Instagram or Youtube. So for fun, let's see: Instagram = 1 hour/week x 5 years = 261 hours = 11 days. Youtube = !?!??! Unfathomable. But for good measure lets say 2 hours a day for 5 years = 3620 hours = 151 days.

Total approximation of time spent on social media = 7291 hours = 304 days = 3% of my life, undoubtedly more. Probably closer to an entire year of my life.

I never solely spend hours just scrolling through Facebook, lets say the browser has been open for about a fifth of that time which equates to 682 solid days = 16368 hours = 7% of my life this window has been open, occupying space in my mind.

I'm making this ultra bleak for myself, so it's easier to delete my account. I'm not afraid of things ending, for that's the only way to start a new beginning. It took 2 minutes to download my entire Facebook archive making this far easier then expected. I'll be deleting my account sometime next week after I cut all ties from this website, as it no longer serves me.

I'm just tired of wasting time. I'll see all you beauties on the outside.

[islandswithinourselves]

Dejected Microcosm of the Human Experience

I rather enjoy working with psychological and parapsychological spaces. I’m currently writing a term paper in regards to neurological and spiritual forms of self-deception, as the balance between reason and intuition is one of the keystones to my art practice. The temporal lobe is responsible for conscious thought, emotional response and memory acquisition. It is also the site of profound spiritual experiences, for it is the nesting place for the dream chemical and the pineal gland - both commonly associated with the third eye chakra.

Using psychology as a medium for film diverts attention to the “self,” this creates what is referred to as ego-libido/narcissism. All of these films certainly show a strong sense of self-encapsulation/absolute isolation which is the struggle of the narcissist, knowing his “self” is projected from within the containment of his vessel. This can lead to modularity which is not having one unified self. This can produces the self-deception of comparing how one presumes their performance should be to their actual representation. Often in such cases it is a process of depleting your beliefs (repetition) stored in the left hemisphere with the use of new insight (change) which channels through the right hemisphere. Though new stimuli could never be successful if one’s beliefs are too strong. I see these artists as I sometimes see myself, as a dejected microcosm of the human experience, both alienated and humanized.

I find Vito Acconci’s pieces to be decentering in the sense that your placement and perspective is being questioned throughout. In Undertone he displays a few different levels of consciousness as he expresses his personal fantasies, to an interpersonal interactions as he looks into the camera. There are even moments when he rejects his personal fantasies as he begins to reestablish to himself that his hands are his own. In Centers he maintains the line of sight between his eyes and the eyes of his reflection, this establishes connection with himself as well as the viewer. Holding one’s arm like that for 22 minutes would be so hard by the end he’s breathing so heavily as he’s trying to remain centered.

In Richard Serra’s Boomerang subject Nancy Roll is receiving an echo of her own words bouncing back to her, watching it and typing this at the same time is difficult. I feel a gnarly tension in my own mind. I need to pause it. I literally just needed to release tension that had built up at my temples. As I watch this she’s certainly improving as her words are boomeranginging back to her. Pauses again, I can’t seem to type while she’s talking, it’s so straineous to me! I think the “space” she is questioning is one between her frontal lobe that controls language and spatial reasoning and her partial lobe that controls multi-sensory perception and coordination. It was hard for her to say the words as she became disorientated through the direct receiving of her own words as echos. I also found it hard to process language - front left hemisphere and it became increasingly harder for me to type as I couldn’t clarify my thoughts  - front right hemisphere. which is where the tension was building up! :0 So this “space” is the disconnect between processing and perception. Neurology rules!  

The aggressive rhythm of Vertical Roll by Joan Jonas makes it feel tense as the female figure is shown in fragments throughout the work. The body can display so much meaning and purpose with such a small range of motion. Just as an article of clothing can evoke such context. The showgirl headdress and rhinestone garnets made the images more eccentric, whereas the modest nude figure somehow wasn’t as scandalous.  As a self-portrait one could perceive this as the disembodiment of the female figure. The horizontal bars make it so spatially we have a hard time connecting each of the takes that make up this film.  Her ambiguous use of objects added to the fragmentation of the piece as they were not necessarily serving their purpose. At the end, when she turns to look directly into the camera is when her figure overrides the bars of the film almost as if she’s gotten through to us. As simple as this moment of eye contact was paired with her facial expression said the most, that the fragmentation was more a unsatisfied perception of her external self.

[islandswithinourselves]

The Ugly of the Beauty Industry

A good chunk of the cosmetics industry is built on human insecurities. Anti-aging creams for instance are created because we've been conditioned to believe that growing old is bad. So let's extract our earth's precious minerals, torture animals and rub all these chemicals on our face - some of which have been linked to cancer. It's even to the point where I've noticed a lot of girls hate being seen without makeup. Your natural face is NOT disgraceful, you are beautiful. This whole ideal for plastering our faces with makeup on a daily basis is being wildly perpetuated on social media - but it's for the sake of beauty right? The magnitude this has reached is so ugly. I'm not hating on anyone who loves makeup because I like jazzing myself up every now and again. But don't we already have enough beauty related products in the market? Don't even get me started on packaging...This is just another example of how this "progress" is making us "regress"...

[islandswithinourselves]

Araucanian Shamanism

Every time I sit down with this Shamanism book about the Archaic Techniques of Ecstasy, I discover something deeper about myself. It goes into detail about how the Araucanian's of Chile determined the candidates for shamanship - I'm Araucanian. It claims that the divinity's summons is irresistible to those who are morbidly sensitive and are subject to vertigo, among other desired traits. If those chosen to be shamans were to resist this calling, the spirits would plague their lives. This epileptoid or hysteroid psychic structure is the pathological origin of a shaman. Check mate, another inkling of my fate. 

[islandswithinourselves]

About a Woman Who… by Yvonne Rainer (1974)

For an incredibly long time women were second to men in many societies. Some of the first acts for women’s rights started in the late 1880’s which slowly begun to grant women more liberties and equal opportunities. Such as the equal pay act, the national women’s aid and the sex discrimination act in the 1970’s. This film provides us a window into this time which shows the struggle of women who didn’t feel as though they had the freedom to make their own choices or be their own person. I am grateful to be born for the strides society has made to where I am considered an equal, as there are places in the world where women are still being oppressed.

One of the first things that caught my attention in this film was the amount of dissonance between the characters. The male and female narration are not affixed to any of the characters, so that they all seem to be sharing the experience in one space - even though there remains that disconnect. Seemingly comfortable in this allusion the couples, were all misinformed on each other’s deeper desires as expressed through the text and narration. This film focuses mostly on the character played by Yvonne Rainer and for the first half of the film her interactions are different from the thoughts in her head. In the scene the Emotional Accretion in 48 Steps, she wishes she hadn’t asked to hold him because she hadn’t want to be held. Relationships can be complex to the point of escapism and repressed feelings of anguish and rage, which appears as residue in one’s subconscious, as the case with both the women in this film who expressed the desire for seclusion to be with themselves or with someone else.

“Events of the past rose like waves and battering against her mind, threw it into a wild commotion of shame, grief and joy.”

All the water references to me seem to resemble relationships in its many forms. As water can be both calm and catastrophic. The lapping ocean waves resembled the continuous waves and crests of a relationship. Just as,  “a warm puddle spreading in the sunlight.“ Water evaporates in the sunlight but this sentence signifies that the problem is growing bigger, even in the midst of pseudo-happiness. Feelings such as grief and shame can linger or grow deeper whereas joy is the pride or pleasure in the pure elation of a moment. This creates cognitive dissonance which is experiencing two opposing attitude, behaviours or beliefs.

The influence of Rainer’s choreographically skills can be seen in the seen where a woman with black wings latches onto a man attached to a thick elastic as together they slowly begin to fall of a pedestal. Slowly they are lowered to the ground by a group of people. On the floor she is desperately looking at him as he stares off into the distance. This expands into the scene in the last half of the film where she is being undressed. This has a rhythmic quality to it when a man and woman begin to undress Rainer’s character, taking off the first few layers with neutral expressions. This seems to be the less contrived moment in the film, as the woman getting undressed was at ease, natural in her skin. Whereas in taking off her undergarment the women on the couch stared at her with this weird mix of longing and judgment, as the man diverted from his actions as he pulled them down and back up again. This demonstrates the dissonance in a woman’s social sphere, a sense of security amidst betrayal and mistrust.

Something random that I found interesting in the family photo reel is that they used pictures of the pantheon and the Vatican. The pantheon being such an ancient architecture marvel is grounded in it’s structural perfection, with curved ceiling that lead up to it’s oculus which lets through a beam of miraculous light. The Vatican being it’s own separate city within the city of Rome, with huge walls built around it’s perimeter is a place only men are allowed to live under the sanctity of God (with the exception of tourists, allowed during the day). The amount of symbolism from these photo stills of these two places speaks to me of relationships in an odd way. While one may think their relationship has a solid foundation or is that of fate who knows what walls the other may be putting up. Ultimately, this work is the most latent in metaphor that I have encountered thus far, this allows viewers to reflect on their own thoughts about life, love and liberty.  

[islandswithinourselves]

Early Art Films

As I was viewing the art films I was thinking of some of the research I’ve been doing on the quantum mechanics of the brain and consciousness. When someone is sharing their experience with us mirror neurons, also known as empathy neurons fire off in our brains creating the connections for us to share the experience for ourselves by reliving it on a level of conscious thought. This circuit of electrophysiology is what allows us to feel empathy - to feel other peoples emotions as well as self-reflect on how this experience affects us. Viewing these films in the dark gave me a heighten sense of omnipresence for the camera’s view became my window into these realities.

Upon reflection, all of the films we watched were latent in metaphor which gave the ambiance of ambiguity, which allowed me to bring my own interpretations to the films. Ambiguity was something I had been questioning so it’s good to see the power it has on an audience. In the reading Cinematography: The Creative Use of Reality it mentions a photograph only gains meaning through the viewer’s personal identification with what is being represented, whether that is influenced by their attitude, prior knowledge, belief system etc. So whether an image is still or is in motion it has this ability to create an empathetic response from the viewer due to this usage of reality. This is also why film and photographic imagery are often archetypal in nature for archetypes are the repetition of symbols in the collective unconscious.

I found the film Rain (1929) to be incredibly beautiful with it’s early industrial rainy town scenes. I found some of the most interesting time lapses were shot off different modes of transportation of crowds of people were making their way around town. Surely one of the first of it’s kind from that perspective. Something I noticed is that the film would subtly capture the residue from changes in the environment, a heavier down pour would give a temporary static appearance that would quickly fade as it kept reeling. Rain is comparable to La Natation par Jean Taris (1931) for each piece has an “in this”/“this in” relation. For it is raining in the town (this in) as the rain brings a more subtle change to the people and the environment whereas Jean Taris is immersed in the pool (in this), as his body floats weightlessly in the water. The sound of the crashing waves added an element of turbulence until he is fully submerged. Watching Rain without audio enhanced the viewing experience and almost made it as though I could hear the rain on my own. Overall, it was great to see these pieces of history.

The reading On Maya Deren in A History of American Avant-Garde really spoke to me for I had created characters who were aspects of myself and it’s wonderful to see her as an early avant-garde artist delve through her own personal identities in her work. Through my own process I was able to discover who I am at my core being, a necromancer - a dark shaman who communicates with spirits in seeking divination. Viewing Meshes of the Afternoon (1943) and Ritual in Transfigured Time (1946) definitely affirmed me in my artistic direction for I seek resolve with the use of existential therapy. I’m very excited to start experimenting with film to capture actuality and editing it to create new realities.

[islandswithinourselves]

Beyond Reason

Writing has certainly become my gateway. It's something that I've been doing more in my free time and especially when desire strikes. I've mostly been into writing non fictional accounts and am willing to share my world view even if it's a clause for a debate, as I shall explain:

There's this concept I've had a difficult time explaining but I shall try my hand at it. It's about reason and it's limitations. If I for example was bound and shackled by my reasoning or my worldview I would be unable to grow as a person. What is tricky to understand here is that reasoning creates this barrier around a person. Typically people view reasoning as the knowledge we've gathered on the world, so it can't be bad! Which it can and can’t be. But there are so many BIG unanswered questions humans still have about life and the universe. So to assert oneself in one framework of reasoning can become a hindrance to one's potential growth.

The beauty in being able to share things so openly is the response I get because that is what enables me to further grow as a person. To know there are several other insights and worldviews out there beyond my own. So I'm not so constricted in my own thoughts, beliefs, ideas, attitudes etc. but to be open to other forms of reasoning. This in turn can allow a person to experience true enlightenment/higher calibers of consciousness even if you don't particularly belief it yourself. It is this simple act of acknowledgment that can allow one to let go of emotional fixations and make self-awareness more accessible.

So in saying that I'm super open to these kind of dialogues. I'm not afraid to be approached if I am wrong from another person's perspective. I'm actually quite welcoming to it because my particular world view is quite radical and has caused me a lot of aggravation in the past. I know it doesn't benefit me as a person to latch onto such negative feelings. I thrive off of deep conversation, so please know you are free to speak your mind around me.

[islandswithinourselves]

New Thresholds of Freedom

I've found in the past I've repressed my truest most authentic self due to the fear of the repercussions, especially in a public forum. I know if I keep withholding the truth that I won't be able to progress in the way that I would wish to. I can no longer be afraid of other people's judgments, discredits or rejection. All I want is to live my best life.

In 2016, I came to the full realization that I am clairaudient - being able to access information from the spiritual realms whether that's by hearing the voice of spirit, receiving messages or having visions. So when I say I'm a necromancer, I mean I AM a necromancer - a dark shaman who communicates with spirits in seeking divination. I believe it's from being tuned into my crown chakra - that of universal consciousness and the powers that come with it. Something we all have the ability to access, even if it is just the odd experience here and there.

I won't be getting into a lot of the details but here is the jist of my story:

I spent the first half of 2016 in a battle with myself, stuck in an incredibly bad head space. I didn't understand what was happening around me, I only had slight inklings but wasn't fully convinced it was anything other then my imagination. This brings me to the day when I had what can only be described as a divine intervention. I was constantly being riddled by this voice, trying to convince me of obscenely bad things. All the while I'm affirming myself, “no I'm not like that, I'm a good person,” but it continued to persist otherwise. Which is when I called upon my guardian angel. In my experiences I would hear the sound of a pleasant man's voice in times when I needed it the most, it would inhabitually offer advice or caution me right before a pivotal moment. Which is when I heard a voice ring in from above, at first it began consoling me and telling me things along the lines of, “you’ll be stronger for going through this, which I refuted as the malevolent voice grew more prevalent.

This is when I had transmigrated at a slight angle upward from my third eye through a tunnel to a cloudy formless space which is where I saw flashes of someone first from far away then suddenly right up close. I couldn't make out a face or gather much detail as this had only lasted for what felt like a few seconds. In this space I felt as though I had a physical body but when I looked down I saw that I had become nothing but infinity. 

Snap, back in my room I thought I lost connection with this benevolent spirit but I could sense him by my side, I could feel the wind from his voice as he said something so simple but so profound to me - "you don't have to be ashamed of any of this." The moment I let that sink in I felt this weight lift from what I now know as my solar plexus, it was majestic. I found myself free of the guilt I had surrounding these experiences and finally accepting of my true nature. 

The malevolent voice kept circulating even after I had this uplifting experience which is when I confronted it for the first time. When it realized it had no more power over me is when it became stifled and bolted off. I saw a transparent figure with a mount for a head and little hands that paddled quickly away from me as it got absorbed into the air. I now know that to be the poltergeist that's been haunting me as I had previously seen glimpses of it in waking life and in the sleep paralysis it would induce. I'll leave it at that. Getting into the full stories of my experiences with my guardian angel and this malevolent entity would each equate to the length of a short story, as the encounters with both take place over long periods of time.

Please know that am I now doing fantastic! I spent the last half of 2016 working on my overall well-being, mostly through meditation and existential therapy. I’m so happy and at peace with knowing exactly what my intentions are with my necromantic art practice. I know it's not my place to convince anyone of anything. This carries over to any of the work I produce that finds it's inspiration in this mystical realm. I share this as a means of experiencing new thresholds of freedom, knowing I have a right to speak my truth and so do you.

[islandswithinourselves]

No Longer Abiding by Astrology

My astrological signs no longer define me. I used to be really into astrology, I've always liked the idea of planetary energy and the concurrent themes that go along with it but this to me has become a riddle of cosmic poetry. Admittedly, I have always seen astrology as an interconnected web of people who have simply looked into it and choose to abide by its rules for they have seen truth in it. I find it bothersome when it begins to hold sway over your interactions and becomes more about holding one's self and other people accountable for their "shortcomings" and "strengths." As the ancient personality depicting system that it is, it can pigeon hole people to be fixed to certain personality traits instead of just being.

This can be very limiting to the way you perceive yourself and others becoming a matter of manipulation. If you name any spectrum of personality depiction I can almost guarantee you've floated back and forth in between the extremes throughout your life. As human beings we have a natural disposition to react however we may to any given situation. Our demeanour fluctuates dependent on the circumstance, people involved, timing, phase in our life among an endless list of factors. I favour numerology and palmistry because it takes all these things into account - personal, local, global, as well as/not just cosmic spheres.

What has prompted me to post are those who I’ve encountered who say that either I am or they are predisposed to being a certain way because of my signs. I can’t help to see it as a deceiving mechanism in this way. To sum this all up, I for one can’t be summed up by the stars, for I am the universe encapsulated in a human being. I am the master of my own destiny and I have the potential to be who I want to be.

[islandswithinourselves]

Thursday March 24 2016

f# - Harmony & Discord

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ip3RWeMRn88&feature=youtu.be

The viewers were allowed to go through the corridors of this installation as they pleased. One passage simulates love and comfort while the other simulates fear and discomfort. How a viewer chose to move through it brought forth any connection or complacence they have with these feelings. I had learned that love and fear are the two base emotions for all the rest. What I found most intriguing is that when one is truly encapsulated in love or fear that the other becomes an illusion - I sought to evoke this without using anything too literal to signify these feelings but rather through the materiality of the layers and one’s placement within the installation.

There was a buzzing in this room that I found was in f# to which I discovered its meaning is as follows:  “Triumph over difficulty, free sigh of relief uttered when hurdles are surmounted; echo of a soul which has fiercely struggled and finally conquered lies in all uses of this key.” More then suiting to my concept ;) The first half of the audio I had created for this work engulfed in the room in different octaves of f#. The second half played two notes that are harmonious with f# on the love side and twos notes that are in discord to f# on the fear side.

Most were first drawn to love side as it was the most welcoming, then they made their way through to fear. I suspect this since there was more action expected on the fear side and that they’d find the climax of the experience over there. Those who viewed the installation shared that they felt a sense of peace on the love side with how angelic the notes sounds over there. They enjoyed the open space and how the fabric moved with the air from the vents. Some felt disoriented due to the shadows cast from the fear side which I found really interesting.

As for the fear side, half of the spectators stopped at the hurdles to peak around the corner at what they lead to, while the other half ventured through allowing them to experience the point of the greatest abstraction in the installation through the orange tarp which illuminated the rest of the installation. This then lead them to a closed off space which they found themselves inside a large plastic bag. Those who made it to this point said that they did indeed feel fearful especially with the dissonance of the notes.

Overall, this was a therapeutic work for me as it allowed me to make my connections with these feelings through material and sound. This is my first time working like this and it surely won’t be my last :)

[islandswithinourselves]

Hearth of the Underworld