kaeya-phoenix-system

[kaeya-phoenix-system]

Yall please consider hybrid!141 x secret!hybrid!user...

Wolf!Soap who is so eager to befriend the new human! He's worked with plenty of humans before, but since hes joined the 141 hes been exclusively with hybrids. Sure, you smell a bit different than he remembers humans to smell, but you did mention having avian hybrids in your old team, so its probably just their scent lingering :]

Eagle!Gaz who swears you can understand him. Not just his words, but the unique subtleties of his squawks and chirps. He has no proof, but the way your eyes lock onto him when he trills, as though you are listening intently, makes him think you understand more than just the vague sense that most humans know. But you had avian teammates in the past...maybe you just learned more intricacies than the normal human?

Tiger!Ghost who watches you. He sees the way your muscles coil during a spar, the way your eyes darting across a battle field. Its different, its not human. Then again, not many people survived battle and came out totally human. It changes you. Simon knows, so he doesn't question you no matter how differently your body moves compared to a human.

Komodo dragon!Price who after a duo mission with you that went to shit, bodily drags you into a secure location. You're bleeding alot, and he needs to stabilize you. His tail lashes anxiously as he tears off your shirt to assess the stab wound on your back, only to freeze. There, in puffy keloids and gnarled flesh are two parallel scars running from shoulder blade down to the small of your back. Where your wings would have been.

[kaeya-phoenix-system]

That’s so dang hot omg, you guys must live on sunscreen! /silly

I am wishing everyone a cool breezy summer /gen, stay frosty /ref

- Blurry

Guys, what’s a normal summer temperature in your country? /nfta

For us it’s like, 24-26 degrees Celsius

…it’s 36 rn, feels like 47. Im DYING /not literal

I have no temperature regulation and it’s supposed to be like this all week ;-; I really hope I don’t get heat stroke or some shit

- Blurry & Addy

[kaeya-phoenix-system]

TW - Vent

The worst part of having DID is knowing you didn’t have to have it. It was preventable. If the world had been kind, we could be whole.

It’s not like our autism, we were born with that, no use sulking over something you’re born with.

But the DID? The BPD? THEY did that. They ruined us, and turned away like it was nothing. We were a fucking child, yet almost 12 years later we’re still haunted by you, crying on our floor. We’ve begged the world to fix us, but it won’t. It can’t.

- Blurry (co-host, any pronouns)

[kaeya-phoenix-system]

Guys, what’s a normal summer temperature in your country? /nfta

For us it’s like, 24-26 degrees Celsius

…it’s 36 rn, feels like 47. Im DYING /not literal

I have no temperature regulation and it’s supposed to be like this all week ;-; I really hope I don’t get heat stroke or some shit

- Blurry & Addy

[kaeya-phoenix-system]

Thanks dude, you guys are so awesome /gen

Sorry for not replying or interacting with anyone, having a rough week

Gonna try and get back to normal as soon as we can

- Blurry

[kaeya-phoenix-system]

Sorry for not replying or interacting with anyone, having a rough week

Gonna try and get back to normal as soon as we can

- Blurry

[kaeya-phoenix-system]

My mom says it's not my fault, as often my headmates jump in and defend me when I feel hurt, but I still feel so awful, and I know we as a collective need to change. I'm starting DBT therapy in a few weeks, I'm hoping some coping skills will help, as well as potentially some new meds.

RSD would make sense actually, it feels like the world is ending sometimes when people say no, mostly to hanging out. I'll have to look into that and ask my social worker about it as a possiility.

My family just admitted to being scared to say no to me.

I fucking hate myself, I hate being self aware but yet still stupid. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Why am I so angry when I'm told no? When I'm rejected? It can't just be my BPD, no fucking way it's this bad. It's like I'm never happy, and when I don't get my way I feel like I wanna off myself. It's so manipulative and I know it, but I truly feel that way and I don't know why. My tome turns angry before I even process it, and if I get called out/get in trouble I cry and say I'm awful.

Is it possible to manipulate someone and know you're doing it, but not intend to? I fucking love this family, I NEVER want to hurt them, yet it's all I do. I keep trying to look for signs of what's angering me, but I can't figure it out.

The only joy I get is when I buy something. I don't know how to cope if I don't buy something new each day. My parents are losing fucking money because they won't say no, all because I'm a brat and can't take a no. I want to change, more than anything I want to be the perfect child they deserve, but instead I'm the dog who bites the hand that feeds it. How do I fix this? Everyone always tells me it's their fault but it's fucking not, I want someone to to be fucking real and tell me how to fix my awful behaviour. I need someone to tell me how not to get defensive when I'm corrected.

God I just want to be better than this, this can't really be me, there has to be a way to change..

Addy (He/They)

[kaeya-phoenix-system]

My family just admitted to being scared to say no to me.

I fucking hate myself, I hate being self aware but yet still stupid. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Why am I so angry when I'm told no? When I'm rejected? It can't just be my BPD, no fucking way it's this bad. It's like I'm never happy, and when I don't get my way I feel like I wanna off myself. It's so manipulative and I know it, but I truly feel that way and I don't know why. My tome turns angry before I even process it, and if I get called out/get in trouble I cry and say I'm awful.

Is it possible to manipulate someone and know you're doing it, but not intend to? I fucking love this family, I NEVER want to hurt them, yet it's all I do. I keep trying to look for signs of what's angering me, but I can't figure it out.

The only joy I get is when I buy something. I don't know how to cope if I don't buy something new each day. My parents are losing fucking money because they won't say no, all because I'm a brat and can't take a no. I want to change, more than anything I want to be the perfect child they deserve, but instead I'm the dog who bites the hand that feeds it. How do I fix this? Everyone always tells me it's their fault but it's fucking not, I want someone to to be fucking real and tell me how to fix my awful behaviour. I need someone to tell me how not to get defensive when I'm corrected.

God I just want to be better than this, this can't really be me, there has to be a way to change..

Addy (He/They)

[kaeya-phoenix-system]

I’m scrolling through old posts realizing most of my headmates sign off on stuff, so I guess we’re doing that now? Might as well write a list of their sign offs and what bio terms they use (for our alterhuman members)

Sign offs first;

Addy (He/They) -> host

Tatsuya (He/It) -> cohost

Blurry (They/She/He/It) -> cohost

Malak (They/Them) -> unknown

Alastor (He/It) -> manager

Seán (He/Him) -> caretaker

Blu (He/They) -> caretaker

Keegan (He/Him) -> caretaker

Haze (She/Her) -> caretaker

Angel (He/She) -> protector

Elpin -> (She/Her) -> protector

Lenix -> (He/Him) -> protector

Wolf -> (It/He) -> protector

Now bio terms

Addy -> canine bio terms

Elpin -> canine bio terms

Wolf -> canine bio terms (Mutt specific)

Blu -> canine bio terms (Fox specific)

Malak -> demon/angel/dragon bio terms

Tatsuya -> dragon bio terms or human bio terms

Can’t guarantee anyone will sign off, but I know some of headmates have, so hopefully this helps!

- Tatsuya (He/It)

[kaeya-phoenix-system]

Dude what is it with therapists and being like “hmmm no.” Like huh?? They don’t even explore it as an option -_-

But yeah, np! It’s such a complex topic but I honestly love getting asks about systems! Anyone is welcome to send me questions I love trying to help

Part of me wants to just say I'm a system but the other part still doesn't want to say what I'm not completely sure about

I get that, when I first discovered my system I was hesitant to say anything. I was diagnosed a year ago, but I’ve known for about 5 years. I was in a safe place and some headmates came forward to me

It can be hard, because so much of the system community fake claims, especially without a diagnosis. But it took me years to get that diagnosis, years to be believed. Not everyone can get that, especially when underage, as parents are often the cause of the system in the first place.

It’s ok to call yourself a system, with proper research and understanding, of course. Self diagnosis is valid and can honestly be so helpful, as acknowledging your system can help start the healing process

To all questioning systems, I believe you, it’ll be ok. And it’s ok to be wrong too, you can call yourself a system and be wrong. Sometimes you start off thinking it’s one thing, than learn it’s another thing

Go with your gut, work with your other parts if you can! You got this <3

[kaeya-phoenix-system]

I’m glad you’re able to go consensually! /gen I hope it helps too :3

It wasn’t like, non consensual for me, I asked for help, but I didn’t get to plan a day to come back. So no time to pack or anything, just whatever I had with me

Why does your calendar just say psych time are you planning your breakdowns? If you are can you teach me that skill I wanna plan mine

‘Are you planning your breakdowns’ is so funny actually😭 Bro I wish I could plan my mental breaks for when it’s convenient but, alas, I still suffer😔

Pscho time is the day I get go to the psyche ward :] (it’s a mental hospital actually, but the memes) /pos

[kaeya-phoenix-system]

Wait, how did you book a day to go? /genq they just yeeted me in there T^T

Why does your calendar just say psych time are you planning your breakdowns? If you are can you teach me that skill I wanna plan mine

‘Are you planning your breakdowns’ is so funny actually😭 Bro I wish I could plan my mental breaks for when it’s convenient but, alas, I still suffer😔

Pscho time is the day I get go to the psyche ward :] (it’s a mental hospital actually, but the memes) /pos

[kaeya-phoenix-system]

do any catkins also get extremely nervous when there's a human in your house you don't know. like i am hiding in my room wide-eyed with fear waiting for them to leave

[kaeya-phoenix-system]

Part of me wants to just say I'm a system but the other part still doesn't want to say what I'm not completely sure about

I get that, when I first discovered my system I was hesitant to say anything. I was diagnosed a year ago, but I’ve known for about 5 years. I was in a safe place and some headmates came forward to me

It can be hard, because so much of the system community fake claims, especially without a diagnosis. But it took me years to get that diagnosis, years to be believed. Not everyone can get that, especially when underage, as parents are often the cause of the system in the first place.

It’s ok to call yourself a system, with proper research and understanding, of course. Self diagnosis is valid and can honestly be so helpful, as acknowledging your system can help start the healing process

To all questioning systems, I believe you, it’ll be ok. And it’s ok to be wrong too, you can call yourself a system and be wrong. Sometimes you start off thinking it’s one thing, than learn it’s another thing

Go with your gut, work with your other parts if you can! You got this <3

[kaeya-phoenix-system]

Don’t think it’s dumb, as long as you aren’t sharing a specific location! I like wearing a face mask for added privacy as well, but that’s a personal choice ^^

How dumb would you reckon I'd be to post a photo of myself?

[kaeya-phoenix-system]

**There are no spoilers in this post, it is safe to read**

Guys

I just got back from the live action HTTYD

I cried so much /pos

Seeing my kin types as real living creatures got me emotional in the best way, like yes that’s me, I should sound like that, that’s my anatomy, YES!

I know people will criticize the movie, I know it’s not going to be for everyone. But for me? This was a huge win, I loved it and the acting was great

I will be going back to see it again once the crowds have passed (which, side not, the theatre was mostly empty? Idk if I got early bird tickets or what, bc my brother said it comes out tomorrow?? I bought tickets almost 2 months ago lol) to see it again, not in 3D this time, as I got a tiny bit nauseous

Did I mention it was awesome?! Go watch it /nf /lh

[kaeya-phoenix-system]

Just wanna say, I would read the heck out of it /gen /pos

I’m rethinking about whether I should actually publish the Subject series…

I don’t think I’m gonna be able to finish Mindroleplay so quick :[

I just don’t think anyone would care about it due to how I’m writing it, preseason 1 the story is more slice of life but season 1 is like, completely different

I don’t know

Also the smaller parts that I’m writing that are also important wtf do I do with those??