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[loveofentropy]

Happy birthday kurt Cobain who would be turning 57 today!

[loveofentropy]

The window pane is 20 knives, all cutting through my fragile life. Someone new peeking through the room. I fear the name you whispered is mine, I’ll know it soon. I’m headless, I’m just limbs. I think they’re coming in. I already died, so this is extra time. I already died, so now I see it open eyed. I already died, so I am justified. I already died. There’s nothing you can say to change my mind.

[loveofentropy]

“You have saved yourself from drowning every time before this. You will rescue yourself again.”

— Nikita Gill, Powerful One Sentence Reminders To Read When You Are Doubting Your Growth And Healing

[loveofentropy]

“How someone reacts to your sadness says a lot about how long they’re going to be in your life.”

— blossomfully

[loveofentropy]

i crave a youth that doesn’t exist so i can forget the one that so often thrives in my head as the one that was true.

[loveofentropy]

i just want to wrap you in my arms,

mold into the shape of love we both crave;

your lips pressed against my neck while smiling

it’s one of your many charms,

a rush of electricity from your fingertips;

they give me a euphoric wave.

your beautiful eyes looking into mine,

sitting on top of my lap

whilst my hands graze your spine,

the giggle when i grabbed your thighs—

i feel like i’m finally alive.

once wanting to drown-

drowning in the sea to leave the world permanently-

now my focus is to drown in your sheets.

our legs intertwined,

letting out what we call music,

but it’s actually our whines.

the mirror shows our necks covered in dark spots,

they cover our bodies when the lights are off.

ecstasy brings a blanket to my thoughts,

our little pecks bring each other a feeling,

even though our legs are entangled in the sheets-

the sun shining on your face brings a new type of healing.

[loveofentropy]

i have cried every last tear, and exhaled as many sighs as i can.

now what remains is a pent up rage with a hunger for the promise to make it out alive.

no matter how many times i regress and want to curl up into a ball so i cannot be perceived by a world that hates me anymore,

i always wipe the tears that follow up with the rage to prove myself, to love myself, to escape a self i never was;

and with that comes the words,

“i live because i can’t die.”

[loveofentropy]

— Stéphane Mallarme, from “Collected Poems and Other Verse.”

[loveofentropy]

Alpine lotus leaf flower

[loveofentropy]

— Anaïs Nin, from a diary entry featured in Mirages: The Unexpurgated Diary; 1939-1947.

[loveofentropy]

the sea of lies that flooded the bloodstream in my heart reminded me how quickly serendipity can become delusion

[loveofentropy]

I see little moments drifting on an ocean of nothingness. Tiny leaves breaking through the concrete. Distant constellations in the dark sky.

I want to look inside the place of a forgotten memory.

Translucent. Like the dead baby bird I found in the backyard when I was little. So fragile and intimidating. It felt wrong to look at it, as if staring for too long could make me remember something.

An old secret about the world. About the darkness that bleeds into time. About shining stars in the night. 

About forgetting.

[loveofentropy]

Too many days and nights  passed through the body  and slowly took  the body away.  Where is that child?  Where is that childhood? I drift in the tides of time  and lose myself wave  after wave.

[loveofentropy]

glass, irony and good, anne carson // margaret atwood // enough, suzanne buffam // linnea paskow // in conversation: kathleen turner, david marchese // haunted womanhood, heather havrilesky // where to begin, sue zhao // the stream of life, clarice lisepector

[loveofentropy]

People speak sometimes about the "bestial" cruelty of man, but that is terribly unjust and offensive to beasts, no animal could ever be so cruel as a man, so artfully, so artistically cruel.

-Fyodor Dostoevsky

[loveofentropy]

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Gentle Spirit