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But I'm a Cheerleader (1999)

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"I think a lot of activism is born from this place of self-sacrifice" - Clover Hogan

"[Force of Nature] is the most incredible team and community I have ever ever had the privilege of working with. And I’m so, so sad to be leaving it. But I know it’s what is right for me and I think as an organisation we have done so much to not only build up this community, but to really ensure that we’re honouring the individual as well. And I think a lot of activism is born from this place of self-sacrifice and I realised last year that I’ve been working from that place for a long time. And it wasn’t sustainable and it wasn’t good for me, but it wasn’t good for us as a team and what we’re trying to achieve in the world. And so I made this decision to step down which I know is the right one. That doesn’t make it any less difficult because this organisation has brought me so much joy and fulfilment and purpose as an activist. But I know it’s right."

Clover Hogan, Founder of Force of Nature on activism burnout and stepping down as Executive Director.

Her words echo similar feelings I have around my activism in sustainable fashion and burnout after COP26 in 2021 that I’m still recovering from.

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"In this shape-shifting linguistic form, 'queer' emerges as an exquisitely expansive concept. Functioning as a thing and an action, rather than just a descriptor, it becomes an invitation to a dynamic realm of possibility, beyond the various binaries that imprison our minds, beyond that which is knowable."

Source: The Future Is Queer — And So Am I by Lauren Duca (2019)

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Street art in Mexico City

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Queer/ing

"Queering is Life’s force of expansion beyond binaries and labels and knowing the right answer. Queering is beyond answers, beyond understanding into the realm of not-knowing, of the question as holy, into the multiplicitous spectrum of non-individual, non-human centric, non-linear. [...]

Queering is a force that rocks the foundations of what we have been taught and invites the monstrous and sublime to dance. Then, no experience is foreign to us and no one needs to be othered, while at the same time we are called into our true authentic embodied expression of our particular way of being alive and in loving relationship with the world."

Source: Design principles for moving beyond binaries by Starter Culture

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Feminine rage

What a privilege to be Connected to the moon and the sea. To waves of feminism, Overlapping and intersecting, Cycling and converging, Crashing, diffusing feminine rage.

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"The toad symbolises fertility of Earth, a sacred being in ancient Maya cosmology. During the first Spring rains, cornfields are filled with toads mating and singing. Maya elders say that when the toads sing they make the saints happy, who then reciprocate by sending rain. Weavers often refer to toads and saints as interchangeable. According to Zinacanteco stories, toads are the Earthlord’s musicians and some say his j’iloletik (shamans)."

Source: 20 traditional Maya textile symbols

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"Action on behalf of life transforms. Because the relationship between self and the world is reciprocal, it is not a question of first getting enlightened or saved and then acting. As we work to heal the earth, the earth heals us."

Robin Wall Kimmerer, Braiding Sweetgrass

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"It should be no surprise to anyone that activists are people who care, and care deeply. Sometimes this level of passion for and engagement in struggle can leave activists, much like health and social work professionals might experience ‘compassion fatigue’ or burnout, very vulnerable to exhaustion."

Activist Burnout: Strategies for Prevention (Zine)

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The self-love soundtrack of my Valentine's Day 2024.

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The Change, Kirsten Miller

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"In a codependent relationship, one partner does much of the emotional carrying of the relationship and is more prone to losing themself, while the other avoids taking more responsibility for the emotional work of the relationship. In healthy relationships, these partners are able to communicate, compromise and negotiate needs, and express their feelings."

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/codependent-relationship-signs/

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The only constant is change

The only constant is change.

And yet I feel a desire for control. I fret and anguish over this, This desire to know.

It rises in my chest, The crest of a wave, Rushing trying to hold it together.

And only when I release, Break and cry onto the shore, Dissipate in my dissolve, Commit to letting certainty go, And grieve my fear of the unknown. Only in this messy, liminal space, Accepting I will never know, The mystery of it all. Only then, Am I able to breathe, Expand and explore, No longer shrink and implore. To hold compassion for myself, Revere my ever-changing story, Interests, learnings, relationships and experiences, And start to reconnect with the whole.

Original poem by Mairi Lowe

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"Viewing identity as a narrative marks its dynamic nature. It is a process, not an entity. Identity, as an ongoing story, evolves to encompass what comes into a life and omits what no longer seems at play in that life."

Ruthellen Josselson, Paths to Fulfillment: Women's Search for Meaning and Identity (2017)

A book I devoured when exploring identity and feeling my own shifting, liquifying, and restructuring.

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"Remembering how to love one another and our planet again is what we are all tasked with. Losing sight of that love might just be the only crisis there is."

Willow Defebaugh (source)