mrstrongest

[mrstrongest]

W.C. Fields Haikus: How To Turn His 1-Liners into 3-Liners

You’ve never heard of W.C. Fields?? You must be younger than 100!! OK, he was even before my time. Here’s an excerpt from his Turner Classic Movies biography: A gambler and card-shark, a gin drinker, and hater of children, iconic actor- comedian W.C. Fields was all these things and more — a pool hustler, a juggler and an ordinary man struggling against life. Fields spoke directly to what made us…

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Rabbits, Binkies, and the Secret to Success

I’ve been trying to write microfiction– and failing. That’s because microfiction has to be 300 words or less. This one is 525 words, so it only qualifies as “flash fiction,” which can run up to 1000 words. The above header is an Internet Archive Book Image with no known copyright restrictions. I downloaded it, cleaned it up, and added some…

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Hey, Bro'-- Will You Accept the Charges??

Something a little different for me. A prose poem originally published in Black Coffee Poetry on Substack, as part of their Gothic Pact collection. Even The Dead Need a Sympathetic Ear What good is despair if you can’t share it?Life was pressing down on me It’ll do that Even when you’re dead When you’re on a cruise ship On the River Styx Especially when Foghat’s Playing Slow RideThe dead have…

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The Dinosaurs Were Irish?? Sure'n You Jest!!

“I’ve been thinkin’ about dinosaurs,” said O’Reilly. “Oh, really,” said O’Toole. “Are ye referring to newspapers, landlines, Facebook, me old Chevy Malibu?? Sure’n you’ll hafta be more precise.” “Faith, I mean th’ fearsome beasts that roamed the earth before God made leprechauns,” said O’Reilly. “One day they all got caught in a meteor shower and were gone quicker’n Kamala Harris, poor…

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13 Tips For Creating Your Own Marketing Videos Plus Rare Leprechaun Film Footage

I was down at the donut shop this morning doing nutritional research. I decided to conduct a survey. I asked people: What’s the biggest misconception about marketing videos? A guy eating a Double Glazed dabbed his lips thoughtfully. “Videos don’t have to have real people in ’em,” he said. “You can stick in whatever ya want.” A woman eating a Raspberry Creme said, ‘“You don’t need fancy video…

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Good Pope John: A Communicator Who Embraced Joy and Humor

It’s been 60 years since the close of Vatican II, aka, the Second Vatican Council (1962-65). Pope John XXIII called the council to modernize the Catholic Church and bring it up to date. He died in 1963, and didn’t live to see the end of the Council. His birth name was Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli. He was elected pope on October 28, 1958, at the age of 77. When all the Catholic cardinals convene to…

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Cupid, The Red-Hot Tot Who Flirted a Lot

Mars and Venus were having a cuppa at the Mt. Olympus Café. They were discussing their son, Cupid. “I’m worried about the boy,” said Mars. “Running around naked, flapping his little wings, flirting shamelessly, making a spectacle of himself.” Venus shrugged. “That’s pretty normal behavior up here.” “Yeah, but he’s 42-years-old, and he hasn’t even reached puberty!” “All things considered, perhaps…

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Two Book Jackets Walk Into A Party

“Nice jacket,” he said. “I bet you say that to all the books.” He winked. “Just the hardcovers.” She laughed. He pointed behind her. “Look– a Wolfe talking to a Bradford.” When she turned, he checked out her ISBN. Not bad. Cute barcode, too. She held up her glass before turning around. “I could see you look. It’s a sneaky way to get a girl’s number.” “Oops. It says on your spine you’re published…

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Buffalo Bill Explains the Benefits of Going Without

Bill was from Buffalo. Maybe that’s why they called him Buffalo Bill. He played football. Gets cold in Buffalo, snows a lot. You need a warm coat. Bill only had half a coat. His tail was always cold. Every year, Bill and his team played the Kansas City Chiefs for the championship. They always lost. They just lost again this year. Bill’s down about it, which is understandable, but at least he’s…

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The Perils of Letting Down Your Guard

I wrote a short story. Hope you enjoy it! *       *       *       *       *       *       *  George was a tech guy. Or maybe a writer. I was never sure which. He was focused, George was. Nose to the grindstone. He hated distractions. Called them cockroaches. Gotta resist, he’d say. Gotta keep the roaches away. He’d trained his mind to resist anything that might interfere with his work. He could…

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The Wages of Sin: How My Diabolical Halloween Trick Went Wrong

As mentioned in my previous post, I recently wrote up a Halloween memory from my wayward youth. Here it is, hope you enjoy it. *       *       *       *       *       *       *  Halloween? Count me in. Nowadays it’s because I’m out in the country and almost never get any trick-or-treaters, so I get to eat all the candy myself. But back the day, when I was a kid, I had to work for my candy. And I…

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What Happens When You Mess Up Drawing a Hobo Riding a Can of Shaving Cream

*       *       *       *       *       *       *  Hobos? Shaving cream?? Just another day at the office here. I thought it might be fun to give you a peek behind the scenes at Mark Armstrong Illustration. I recently wrote up a little incident that occurred back when I was in high school. A Halloween story which I’ll share in my next post. I needed a header image. I decided on a naughty teenager…

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Finding Your Purpose, Knowing When to Pivot, and the Future of AI-Generated Images

I did an interview with Bold Journey, an online magazine that profiles entrepreneurs. Among other things, I talked about knowing when to change course and the impact of AI on illustration. This is a condensed version. You can read the full interview here. *       *       *       *       *       *       *  Mark, we’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so…

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The Brown Fox Steals a Motorcycle and Has the Best Day of His Life

Does everybody know what a “drabble” is? No, it’s not something a basketball player does with the ball, or what a baby does with his mashed peas. It’s original meaning is to make wet and muddy. Think of my pant cuffs dragging on the ground when I’m out walking in the rain. Nowadays it refers to a story that’s exactly 100 words long. There are a lot of drabble challenges on the Medium platform.…

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Maybe You're a Weightlifter or a Gunslinger or a Polka Musician-- Ya Gotta Do Stuff to Stay in Shape

I get habit expert James Clear’s newsletter every week. He recently shared this thought (my emphases): “The bad workouts are the most important ones. It’s easy to train when you feel good, but it’s crucial to show up when you don’t feel like it — even if you do less than you hope. “Going to the gym for 15 minutes might not improve your performance, but it reaffirms your identity. It’s not always…

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The Cold Hard Truth About Getting Ideas Then Ruthlessly Cutting Them

I came across an old gag cartoon of mine recently (above). Made me laugh. Then I asked myself: is there an idea for a humor post there? At some point parents have to share shocking or unpleasant truths with their kids– what if non-human parents had to do the same? What might a dog tell their son or daughter? Or a bug or a pumpkin or a parrot or a snowman or a rock or an ape? So I slapped my…

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A Pi In The Face-- No Wait, Make That A PIE In The Face

Happy Pi Day!! I mean this guy => π As in πr², that circle thing from math class. We celebrate Pi Day on March 14th because, ha-ha, π = 3.14, and on and on. Let’s face it, π is a bottomless pit, only it goes sideways instead of down. Bor-ing. Unless you’ve got some kinda math fetish. So forget Pi, let’s celebrate Pie Day instead. We could celebrate by going out and buying a pie at a bake sale,…