my-plot-thots

[my-plot-thots]

Pretty dragon rider art!! AHHHH

More plots I can’t get out of my head:

Dragon/dragon rider fantasy story told from the point of view of the dragon, who absolutely views its squishy little mortal human pet as the cutest fucking thing ever.

Lou Binghe just being absolutely terrifying and rare and powerful and DRAGON! And then here is this very strait laced proper and dignified Shen Quingqiu as his rider, rather concerned about how absolutely smitten (and terrifying) his dragon is for him and refusing to even look at any of the female dragons they try to match with him. LBH not liking the idea of any other humans or dragons sharing the same space as them. Blocking others with his tail or his wings when they try to interrupt him looking lovingly at his rider, while feigning it as a clumsy accident. Always making sure it’s human is safe and comfortable on its back before taking flight, though not before accidentally undoing the work sometimes so it’s human has to spend more time on him. Hunting? This dragon is so incapable of hunting! His claws are too blunt, his teeth too baby, his muscles too small to successfully kill anything it catches! (All a lie to anyone with eyes.) If only it’s strong and capable human would kill the deer he felled and… maybe prepare it for him? Perhaps give it to this unworthy dragon as a gift to prove how strong and powerful it is? Oh! Such a strong and powerful human! Yes it is!

And then, on the other side of things there is Mobei Jun, a massive and terrifying ice dragon that, for reasons no one can properly understand, has picked the weakest and most pathetic rider of the batch, and seems to enjoy pinning him under his claw like a cat toying with a mouse while the poor rider (does he even count as a rider when the dragon prefers to drag him around by the claw like a prized possession instead of allow him on his back most days?)begs for mercy. Nobody intervenes mostly out of fear of what happened to the last person who tried to rescue the poor rider from the bullying. And if he tries to hide, the dragon has been known to sniff him out and peal open the roof of the house he is trying to recover in just to drag him off and bat him around as punishment for his defiance.

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More plots I can’t get out of my head:

Dragon/dragon rider fantasy story told from the point of view of the dragon, who absolutely views its squishy little mortal human pet as the cutest fucking thing ever.

Lou Binghe just being absolutely terrifying and rare and powerful and DRAGON! And then here is this very strait laced proper and dignified Shen Quingqiu as his rider, rather concerned about how absolutely smitten (and terrifying) his dragon is for him and refusing to even look at any of the female dragons they try to match with him. LBH not liking the idea of any other humans or dragons sharing the same space as them. Blocking others with his tail or his wings when they try to interrupt him looking lovingly at his rider, while feigning it as a clumsy accident. Always making sure it’s human is safe and comfortable on its back before taking flight, though not before accidentally undoing the work sometimes so it’s human has to spend more time on him. Hunting? This dragon is so incapable of hunting! His claws are too blunt, his teeth too baby, his muscles too small to successfully kill anything it catches! (All a lie to anyone with eyes.) If only it’s strong and capable human would kill the deer he felled and… maybe prepare it for him? Perhaps give it to this unworthy dragon as a gift to prove how strong and powerful it is? Oh! Such a strong and powerful human! Yes it is!

And then, on the other side of things there is Mobei Jun, a massive and terrifying ice dragon that, for reasons no one can properly understand, has picked the weakest and most pathetic rider of the batch, and seems to enjoy pinning him under his claw like a cat toying with a mouse while the poor rider (does he even count as a rider when the dragon prefers to drag him around by the claw like a prized possession instead of allow him on his back most days?)begs for mercy. Nobody intervenes mostly out of fear of what happened to the last person who tried to rescue the poor rider from the bullying. And if he tries to hide, the dragon has been known to sniff him out and peal open the roof of the house he is trying to recover in just to drag him off and bat him around as punishment for his defiance.

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Just a random plot thought I wanna throw out:

The system has airplain bro exactly where it wants him to be. Transmigrated into the lord of An Ding Peak  as Shang Qinghua. The peak that is known for logic and smooth functioning of all aspects of the sect. All of those plot holes and situations that happened that he never explained or made sense of? Yeah. He is now in charge of realizing that those throw away battles and deaths and plants and skirmishes and harems and social constructs and world building that he wrote around and never fully explained because people wanted more action and explicit content and drama actually have real world impact and cause socioeconomic and agricultural and political problems that HE IS NOW IN CHARGE OF FIXING AS THE PEAK LORD! A character wants to have a large banquet meeting and invited all of the important people to it? He needs to make sure everyone is seated in the right place to avoid tempers and argument that will cause trade problems and make sure this person doesn’t talk to that person’s wife and this dish isn’t served to that person etc. Those battles that destroy towns that are briefly mentioned in the background to make the world seem harsher and make the MC seem even more awesome for surviving and becoming blackened? Yeah. He not only has to figure out lodgings and placement for the survivors, he has to figure out where in the funding it is to rebuild something, as well as not overtax certain areas with the refugees and also find a way to make up for goods and services lost. An epidemic that makes villains seem more evil for not helping? He needs to figure out reasonable loss as well as the best way to prevent the spread of illness to important characters that need to survive. Sex pollen addiction because of stupid tropes is a real thing and he needs to figure out if he should cut his losses or make some sort of a clinic. All of these no win scenarios that he wrote into the story but never actually focused on because that wasn’t the focus of the story suddenly have so much bigger impacts when he is dealing with people begging for his help and there is only so many resources to spare, and sometimes there isn’t much he can do even if he wants to. He made this world where all of these terrible things happen and so many plot holes existed and now he has to fill them in like a grave plot and he can’t help feel himself get a little blackened himself as he tries time after time to prevent something only for something worse to happen, and sometimes life just sucks. And he can’t help but blame himself for all of it. Because this world wouldn’t have been this screwed up if he hadn’t have written it that way in the first place.

And the system loves rubbing it in his face that he can try to change events, but there may be an even greater impact if he tries to change it. The system loves to remind him he wrote it this way, so it must be possible to make the impossible possible. The system lives to point out how one peak must have been embezzling funds the entire story for it to be able to afford all this stuff while other groups are suffering, but he didn’t pay attention to that because plot was more important than explaining money flow. Each time there is a plot hole that needs filling the system will pop up with a new quest, excited to make him bend over backwards to achieve his vision for the original story.

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One of my constantly reoccurring thoughts over the years is a Harry Potter plot. Yeah, yeah. Hear me out.

Little Lion raised by snakes.

Literally.

Harry Potter, at a young age, has accidental magic. He already has a problem with being kept in a small cupboard and treated like an animal. One day, his accidental magic acts up. He wants to escape. Wants to be smaller so he can hide or escape or scratch and attack back. And suddenly, the world is a whole lot bigger, and he is a whole lot smaller and uncle is looking down on him in shock and rage. So he runs.

Surely he will transform back at some point. Right?

Wrong.

He is hiding, just a small black kitten on the streets. There is so much danger at every turn. He forages and hunts, and that’s how he comes across his family. Someone who can speak to him. The other animals don’t make sense, but he happens upon a snake, and the snake seems pleasantly surprised that he is what it calls a speaker.

Years pass, and he gets a little bigger, but not by much for a cat. And he is still stuck as a kitten. He has learned from the snakes how to hunt, how to survive, and eventually finds out about a secret place where funny looking humans exist, and they have funny looking creatures that they keep. Harry quickly learns to stay on the safe side and avoid the owls, since he looks like a bite sized snack to them, just like the snakes warn him about. But he slowly comes to realize that perhaps, with some of these odd people’s help, he may be able to transform into a person again! It’s been so many years, part of him has begun to forget what it was like to have two legs and hands and to speak human speech instead of the language of hissing snakes.

And the people here, with the funny hats and odd dress ,seem to like him as a black cat, rather than condemn him as a bad omen like they do elsewhere. Some even try to keep him, calling him a ‘familiar’ or some such. He is quick to escape the overly grabby humans.

It’s during one such trip where he is exploring areas in this new and separate world from what he had known, that he ends up in a place where the street sign reads ‘Nocturne Alley.’ There are a lot more spiders to pounce on, but also a lot more suspicious looking people, a few of the nastier ones try to shoot lights at him with vicious sneers and laughter.

It’s while he is hiding under an empty crate after a particularly vicious attack that he hears her voice. Clearly she doesn’t know he can hear what she is saying. Hissing about what a delectable snack he will make as she slithers closer. Talking about squeezing him and enjoying his struggle before she bites him. It’s just as he is turning around to tell her off that he realizes just how BIG the owner of that voice is! Sure, many things are big compared to a kitten, but she is bigger than all of the much more common snakes that he has seen before. She is probably bigger than he is if he ever turned human again!

She doesn’t seem to care that he noticed her, probably because he is in striking distance even if he decided to run. And he has seen snakes striking speed. And her jaw is definitely big enough to end his already far too long and miserable existence.

He does his best, using his knowledge of the pride of snakes from those he has known in the past to charm her. To praise her beauty and size and intelligence. Speaking to her about how he is much too unworthy of a meal for one of her magnificence and beauty. Talks about how he is but a poor, orphaned kitten that has lived on the streets, and no doubt has diseases that would upset her stomach while digesting him. He offers to hunt for her, and bring her only the best treats he can steal from the stupid humans to pay tribute to her. This silences her as she watches him, and he hopes against hope that he has charmed her as he slowly steps back, only to realize that she, while he was talking, has completely encircled him with her long, thick body. To the point he won’t be able to escape with how little room under the container there is, and how thick her coiled body is.

It is just as he has resigned himself to his fate that the creature states that she already had an unusual hatchling, but he is grown, and boring, and doesn’t seem to appreciate her greatness like he should anymore. He will surely regret not paying her any interest when she replaces him with a new hatchling. Not to mention her old hatchling is much larger and able to protect itself, while Harry is small and pitiful and weak. And if it ever decided to leave her or replace her as his queen, she could easily eat him for his insolence.

Harry, rather terrified, agrees to become her hatchling and follow her back to her nest where her other, grown and rather ungrateful hatchling resides.

A hatchling that, he learns, is a human. A human that is arguing with other ‘lesser’ humans (as his new den mother informs him). And is honestly sort of terrifying. He decides quickly that he probably shouldn’t let this human know of his speaking skills until he can trust it, and his snake, not to kill him. After all, some of the things he just heard him talking to those other humans about he probably wasn’t meant to understand. And if he were to find out Harry were also a human stuck as a kitten… he’s probably as good as dead.

Meanwhile, Tom Riddle is somewhat annoyed by his snake, who seems to have brought her snack home with her and has decided to toy with her food rather than eat it. The kitten looks ragged and rather unappetizing and quite honestly petrified with fear. Which is somewhat amusing. Nagini, clearly trying to make him jealous, announces that she found a better hatchling that actually recognizes her beauty and strength. It’s cute, so he plays along and listens to her while the kitten tries to slowly escape before her coils wrap around it and nearly cover it till it lets out the most adorable panicked mew.

He decides to get the kitten the best food, and find a good cleaning charm for pets. At least when she decides to eat the creature she won’t get too sick and will actually be provided with some nutrition. He tells her as much, speaking with her indulgently. It’s rather odd how the kitten clearly starts acting more and more terrified as he speaks. Almost as if it knows what he is saying. Which is silly. It’s just some silly little black cat. Too young to be a predator yet. Just the right size to be prey. He much prefers the feel of smooth scales beneath his fingers, but he can see himself enjoying the kitten fur while it lasts. However long that may be.

Meanwhile, Harry is terrified. But he is sure that if he sticks around in this place long enough, he may learn a few things about this magical world. Specifically, he may find out how to transform back into his human body! If such a thing is even possible. It just kind of stinks that the first human he has ever met that might somewhat understand him he can’t even consider asking for help. Because he has a strong suspicion this human doesn’t like surprises. And the more he stays (the kitten food is amazing and the best stuff he has eaten in a long time. Along with what scraps he steals from the human), the more of the man’s plans for world domination he learns. And people don’t just walk away from finding out stuff like that. Perhaps it’s for the best he stays a kitten.

Idk when or how Harry eventually transforms. All I know is when he does, he is still scrawny, but much bigger than he was. Almost an adult size. Was he stuck as a cat for that long? His speech patterns are odd. It’s hard for him to speak human language because he has become so accustomed to snake language, and when he does remember to speak people, he is much more blunt and to the point and unsettling to normal human speakers. Snake speakers are much more simple to converse with considering he was raised by them.

Meanwhile, Tom is beside himself because he has been housing his enemy that he assumed was dead and created reforms because of for quite some time. After all, if he couldn’t kill the brat, how dare some muggles be the reason his equal died?! How can he just announce to the wizarding world and his followers that the kid who’s death he created his platform on to rebuild himself as a dark lord is alive and was chasing butterflies in a field as a cat for most of his formative years!? And the level of latent magic this kid had to maintain an accidental animal transformation for that many years because he felt unsafe to turn back is outrageous! How does this oblivious little Lion exist, much less how did he survive to his magical majority?!

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Not me thinking about this again and thinking about that delicious, delicious size difference between a Fuzzy little Selkie boi and a big scary killer whale mer. Those sharp claws big enough to grab him up and snatch him away.

Mermay plot

Not me thinking about a merpeople plot for my favorite boys. One with a Selkie Shang Qinghua with his cute fuzzy and chubby body of a harp seal that never fully grew out of his white baby fur/coloring because he rarely stays in his mer form long enough and has long ago learned to adapt to blending in with humans because life is dangerous for his kind from what he understands of ocean politics, and selkies are nearly extinct because they are not trusted by human or mer for having one fin in the water and one foot on land. Due to most of their kind having died during a war between mer and human where their people tried to mediate and were cut down by both men and mer, (which was how he ended up washed up on land as a child during a bloody confrontation)

Shang Qinghua had long ago chosen to hide his fur and live as a human. After much struggle to adapt to land, he eventually became the accountant in charge of an entire ship and crew’s documents and money as well as keeps rigorous track of cargo and who comes and goes as well as scheduling. It’s tiring work, but it pays well and allows him to stay close to the ocean, while not risking going in it and being murdered like many of his people were before he assimilated to human life. And what human would expect a Selkie to join a military ship. He keeps his fur securely locked away so no one will ever know, and those who see it assume he hunted it and that it was a normal seal fur.

Of course, life can’t be too easy, and when there is an aquatic attack and the captain of the ship is dragged under water by a terrifying mer that looks suspiciously like the young first mate that fell overboard during a pirate attack/vicious storm several years back. The ship is damaged and Shang Qinghua decides to make a run for it and hopefully escape to live another day. Between freezing to death in the arctic waters as a human, and risking the wrath of the mer if they catch him, he decides he may be able to be pitiful enough to beg for their mercy.

Of course, he was not prepared to slip off the back of the ship with his fur where nobody is looking at the moment, only to land in the water directly in front of a HUGE, hulking, terrifyingly vicious looking killer whale mer. With long sharp claws and rows of deadly teeth, the body parts of crew members that had attempted to escape floating in the water shrouded in a mist of blood and gore.

Seal vs Orca. He knows how that will end.

Meanwhile Mobei Jun sees a thought to be extinct arctic Selkie drop off a ship and right in front of him. Small. Adorable. Eyes wide and terrified. Fur white, though it looks pink because of the mist of blood in the water. It’s probably so scared because it was kept by those disgusting humans. Perhaps they were keeping it to sell it, or kill if for its fur, or something equally terrible for a creature long thought lost and were highly regarded by the arctic mer, even if the regular selkies were not by the rest of the seas.

And it tries to swim away. The poor, adorable, addled creature. It’s clearly confused and in shock.

[my-plot-thots]

Mermay plot

Not me thinking about a merpeople plot for my favorite boys. One with a Selkie Shang Qinghua with his cute fuzzy and chubby body of a harp seal that never fully grew out of his white baby fur/coloring because he rarely stays in his mer form long enough and has long ago learned to adapt to blending in with humans because life is dangerous for his kind from what he understands of ocean politics, and selkies are nearly extinct because they are not trusted by human or mer for having one fin in the water and one foot on land. Due to most of their kind having died during a war between mer and human where their people tried to mediate and were cut down by both men and mer, (which was how he ended up washed up on land as a child during a bloody confrontation)

Shang Qinghua had long ago chosen to hide his fur and live as a human. After much struggle to adapt to land, he eventually became the accountant in charge of an entire ship and crew’s documents and money as well as keeps rigorous track of cargo and who comes and goes as well as scheduling. It’s tiring work, but it pays well and allows him to stay close to the ocean, while not risking going in it and being murdered like many of his people were before he assimilated to human life. And what human would expect a Selkie to join a military ship. He keeps his fur securely locked away so no one will ever know, and those who see it assume he hunted it and that it was a normal seal fur.

Of course, life can’t be too easy, and when there is an aquatic attack and the captain of the ship is dragged under water by a terrifying mer that looks suspiciously like the young first mate that fell overboard during a pirate attack/vicious storm several years back. The ship is damaged and Shang Qinghua decides to make a run for it and hopefully escape to live another day. Between freezing to death in the arctic waters as a human, and risking the wrath of the mer if they catch him, he decides he may be able to be pitiful enough to beg for their mercy.

Of course, he was not prepared to slip off the back of the ship with his fur where nobody is looking at the moment, only to land in the water directly in front of a HUGE, hulking, terrifyingly vicious looking killer whale mer. With long sharp claws and rows of deadly teeth, the body parts of crew members that had attempted to escape floating in the water shrouded in a mist of blood and gore.

Seal vs Orca. He knows how that will end.

Meanwhile Mobei Jun sees a thought to be extinct arctic Selkie drop off a ship and right in front of him. Small. Adorable. Eyes wide and terrified. Fur white, though it looks pink because of the mist of blood in the water. It’s probably so scared because it was kept by those disgusting humans. Perhaps they were keeping it to sell it, or kill if for its fur, or something equally terrible for a creature long thought lost and were highly regarded by the arctic mer, even if the regular selkies were not by the rest of the seas.

And it tries to swim away. The poor, adorable, addled creature. It’s clearly confused and in shock.

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Zack Fair is one of the video game guys ever made. He's a sweetheart. He believes government propaganda. He commits multiple war crimes and says "Oh yeah!" afterwards. He joins newsletter fanclubs for people he knows in real life. His coworkers call him puppy dog to his face. He's the beating heart trapped under the floorboards of the narrative. One time he pretended to let a nine year old beat him up. He's a country hick and proud of it. He loved one unimportant loner man so hard that the entire story of final fantasy vii exists. He's a government experiment. He's in a book club.

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He needs to call someone pumpkin soup now 😭😭😭

New game: Google translate, or something sephiroth has said?

I 100% see him calling his lovers “domesticated animal” because he heard something about people calling lovers ‘pet’ and it is done to evoke joy. Probably because pets are well loved creatures that meet emotional needs and form well established bonds with people. He never was allowed to keep a pet growing up, but that is what he heard, which is why referring to someone as a domesticated animal is the highest praise. When he is (derogatorily) referred to as a dog of the military, he probably also assumes this is a compliment, because he was also informed by Zack that all dogs are good boys. So they must be calling him a good boy.

Sephiroth wants to be cool. He wants to fit in. He pays attention when Genesis calls someone "a hack fraud" or Angeal says something "looks rad". He watches when Zack greets people with "my man!" and they respond enthusiastically. He has studied the art of casual camaraderie. He is determined to master it.

*Sephiroth and Genesis overhear a couple talking nearby*

Person 1: Oh, cupcake, you're too good to me.

Sephiroth: Hn. Fascinating.

Genesis: What now?

Sephiroth: They referred to each other as "cupcake."

Genesis: Yeah, that's what people do when they love each other. They use food as affectionate terms.

Sephiroth: Foods they enjoy?

Genesis: Pretty much.

*Angeal catches up to them*

Angeal: Hey—

Sephiroth: Good evening, braised lamb shank with a red wine reduction and a side of saffron-infused risotto.

Angeal: …..? <3 ?

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Poor cloud. They aren’t even in the same weight class. Zack is destroying him.

forgot to post this here. zakkura pro wrestling au

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THIS EXACTLY! Most people only have one or two hobbies. Pft. Pathetic. Sephiroth is so good at hobbies that he has more than anyone else! Some might say his hobby is collecting hobbies. Which makes him the best. A+ hobby enthusiast. He is peopling so hard right now. Better than any other people. Superior normal person here, because that’s how good he is at this normal person stuff. They are probably just intimidated by how normal he is, and that’s why he is having a hard time connecting to anyone.

A lot of people, when they describe Sephiroth in stories or such, portray him as being very minimalistic and having a close to empty apartment with basic necessities and not much else. Which is a very valid portrayal of his character. He does seem the type not probably even get to spend much time in his rooms with his work, and while he may get payed well, he doesn’t seem the type to be able to spend it with how busy he is. However, hear me out…

What if Sephiroth was a secret train enthusiast or something like it.

I have read so many fic (more than I’m comfortable with) where someone comes into Sephiroth’s private rooms and they are shocked that he doesn’t have much in there. What he does have is sturdy and chosen out of functionality over style and expense, probably the exact opposite of how Genesis would keep his rooms. However, for the reasons I have mentioned above, with how busy he is, etc., I think him being minimalistic and probably less than lived in would be the least surprising thing if I walked into his rooms. However, considering he is getting paid by Shinra, who have somewhat controlled his life from a very young age, I imagine, out of spite, he would make sure to use his money. Find something unrelated to soldier just to annoy anyone who does room checks on him.

Just picture, you’re about to walk into your idol’s rooms. He is in his twenties, but so mature and has accomplished so much before even being a legal citizen and he is so dauntingly together and with it… and then you walk into his rooms and there is a wall of vintage stamps. Another wall covered in signed posters of Wutian pop stars. Several display cases of figurines from multiple games and shows that he probably never had the time to watch. A book shelf of binders filled with trading cards and game cards. Another display case of rocks. Snow globes of every town he has visited.

If asked about these items, he would probably admit that he did research on typical behaviors of people around his age to promote good mental health and connect to others more easily. He was informed that it was healthy to pick up a hobby to promote good work life balance and have topics of conversation when approaching others. However, due to him working so much, he decided he would need to buy more hobbies to balance it better.

Despite the fact some hobbies are better researched than others and seem to spark more joy than some, he clearly still loves looking at them all and imagining that he is normal. Probably imagining the day he may be able to approach someone about one of the many hobbies he collects that they show an interest in and how they will become instant best friends. Secretly imagining the life he may have had if he had been born normal and been able to explore all of these subjects on his own and had free time to do so.

Idk. I was bored and this popped into my head.

[my-plot-thots]

A lot of people, when they describe Sephiroth in stories or such, portray him as being very minimalistic and having a close to empty apartment with basic necessities and not much else. Which is a very valid portrayal of his character. He does seem the type not probably even get to spend much time in his rooms with his work, and while he may get payed well, he doesn’t seem the type to be able to spend it with how busy he is. However, hear me out…

What if Sephiroth was a secret train enthusiast or something like it.

I have read so many fic (more than I’m comfortable with) where someone comes into Sephiroth’s private rooms and they are shocked that he doesn’t have much in there. What he does have is sturdy and chosen out of functionality over style and expense, probably the exact opposite of how Genesis would keep his rooms. However, for the reasons I have mentioned above, with how busy he is, etc., I think him being minimalistic and probably less than lived in would be the least surprising thing if I walked into his rooms. However, considering he is getting paid by Shinra, who have somewhat controlled his life from a very young age, I imagine, out of spite, he would make sure to use his money. Find something unrelated to soldier just to annoy anyone who does room checks on him.

Just picture, you’re about to walk into your idol’s rooms. He is in his twenties, but so mature and has accomplished so much before even being a legal citizen and he is so dauntingly together and with it… and then you walk into his rooms and there is a wall of vintage stamps. Another wall covered in signed posters of Wutian pop stars. Several display cases of figurines from multiple games and shows that he probably never had the time to watch. A book shelf of binders filled with trading cards and game cards. Another display case of rocks. Snow globes of every town he has visited.

If asked about these items, he would probably admit that he did research on typical behaviors of people around his age to promote good mental health and connect to others more easily. He was informed that it was healthy to pick up a hobby to promote good work life balance and have topics of conversation when approaching others. However, due to him working so much, he decided he would need to buy more hobbies to balance it better.

Despite the fact some hobbies are better researched than others and seem to spark more joy than some, he clearly still loves looking at them all and imagining that he is normal. Probably imagining the day he may be able to approach someone about one of the many hobbies he collects that they show an interest in and how they will become instant best friends. Secretly imagining the life he may have had if he had been born normal and been able to explore all of these subjects on his own and had free time to do so.

Idk. I was bored and this popped into my head.

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Some may want to stand behind him when he does jumping jacks. I’d prefer to kneel infront of him. For science. Hopefully I don’t get knocked out.

I think I'd like to stand behind Angeal while he does jumping jacks. For... science. Conservation of momentum.

This is something Sephiroth hopelessly in love with Angeal would say, standing behind him under the guise of "educational observation" like:

Sephiroth: Observe how Angeal executes the perfect jumping jack. His form is immaculate. The precise extension of his limbs, the controlled yet powerful motion, the unparalleled symmetry. Truly, a soldier at peak performance—

Zack: Dude, you're just staring at his ass.

Sephiroth: The foundation of his strength must also be acknowledged.

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I completely accept this as Canonical now. Along with the fact that, growing up in a culture where there exists no such thing as a personal space bubble and then moving into the city, he is 100% touch starved and confused when people jolt away from hugs. Also? Growing up in a hot and humid environment means having no body shame ever, and no shame about showing or seeing skin. Bodies are diverse and completely normal. Ain’t no shame in having or seeing one that is a bit different than yours. That said, he doesn’t understand why people get upset when he has no care when or where he gets changed or showers or what have you. If Sephiroth can walk around with his chest out, why are some people so uncomfortable when he takes off his shirt for training?

Cloud is some people. Nibelheim was a very different small town mind set with very different values that made city living very shocking.

Zack: Aw, I love seeing bros being bros!

He makes friends with everyone. Everyone is a homie for him to kiss! His new nickname is “Patient Zero”!!! How many company wide viral outbreaks is he responsible for????!!?!

In my mind Zack is the kind of guy who is so completely unbothered by physical contact that he doesn't even register it as a thing half the time. Maybe it's the Gongaga upbringing, where people greet each other with hugs, cheek kisses, and casual arm draping—but to him, touch is just love. Affection isn't automatically romantic. Why wouldn't he and Kunsel go on bro dates? Why wouldn't he hug Angeal every single morning? Why shouldn't he casually rest his hands on Cloud's waist when they stand next to each other? It's fine. It's normal. And it means he will not assume two people making out is necessarily romantic.

Because you never know.

*Cloud rushes into the room, out of breath*

Cloud: Zack! I just saw Sephiroth and Angeal making out!

Zack: Oh, easy explanation—CPR.

Cloud: There was tongue!

Zack: Dude, advanced CPR.

Cloud: Angeal had Sephiroth pressed up against the wall!

Zack: Aww, Angeal was just hugging his buddy.

Cloud: No! Angeal ran his hands through Sephiroth's hair and pulled him closer!

Zack: Hair check. Making sure it's tangle-free. Do you know how nice that is to do someone?

Cloud: They were moaning, Zack.

Zack: Humming fun tunes!

Cloud: MOANING.

Zack: Well, geez, Spike, making out can be totally platonic.

Cloud: How??

*Zack pulls Cloud in and kisses him passionately*

Cloud: !

Cloud: …wow, you're right. I guess it can be platonic.

Zack: Nah, that one was romantic. I'll pick you up at 8 tonight~

Cloud:

[my-plot-thots]

Yes. Lazard is just upset nobody is calling him kitten… yet.

Now I’m just picturing Tseng consolingly patting his shoulder, all “it’s okay, kitten.” Just as payback for making him listen to Lazard go on and on.

Azcg decide to try calling Sephiroth ‘Kitten,’ both as an inside joke and a cute unassuming pet name. How does Sephiroth respond to the sudden and unusual use of a illogical pet name.

*In the briefing room*

Zack: Hey, Kitten, pass me that training report?

Sephiroth: …

Zack, pointing: The training report, Kitten. Right there.

*Sephiroth, visibly buffering, slides over the report*

Zack: Thanks, Kitten.

Sephiroth: Don't call me that.

Zack: Why not?

Sephiroth: Because it's not a recognized designation, it lacks workplace professionalism, and it carries implications I don't care to entertain. If you persist, I will have no choice but to report you to Angeal.

*Angeal walks in sipping coffee*

Angeal: Morning, Kitten.

Sephiroth, eye twitching: Why are you all calling me Kitten?

Angeal: We just thought you needed a friendlier nickname. "Seph" is boring. What else could we have called you?

Sephiroth: My name??

Zack: Kitten's cute! Just embrace it.

Sephiroth: It's diminutive, inappropriate, and illogical. But I refuse to be baited by your nonsense. I will not react.

*Genesis saunters in*

Genesis: Ah, there you are, Kitten.

*Sephiroth launches his boot with the precision of a sniper. Genesis dodges as it embeds itself in the wall*

Zack: Whoa, whoa, easy there, Kitten. No need to unsheath the claws.

Angeal: That was very un-kittenlike behavior, Seph—PUT IT DOWN.

*Sephiroth is holding Masamune, debating if the homicide paperwork is worth the satisfaction*

(Later that day)

*Sephiroth, having long since given up the fight, is sitting in the lounge*

Sephiroth: My left eye is irritated. It's been bothering me since this morning.

Angeal: I have eye drops.

Sephiroth: Do they work?

Angeal: I have the steadiest hands in SOLDIER. I can drop them in without missing.

Sephiroth: Alright.

*Tseng and Lazard walk in having a conversation*

Lazard: I'm telling you, Tseng, my boys are disciplined, professional, and maintain the utmost respect for rank while on base.

*Angeal gestures to Sephiroth*

Angeal: Alright, Kitten, come here. Sit on my lap so I can get a good look.

*Sephiroth stands without hesitation and walks over to sit on Angeal's lap*

Sephiroth: Like this?

Angeal: Perfect, Kitten.

*Lazard starts sobbing, Tseng pats his shoulder*

[my-plot-thots]

Yes. Truer words have never been spoken. Especially for Kunsel.

Family gathering

[my-plot-thots]

Reno, functional alcoholic because that is his superpower, absolutely uses this as a cheep bar game to win (scam) more drinks and money out of people, because how is someone supposed to be this many shots in and can still correctly pronounce Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, and pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis as well as not get jumbled when he does tongue twisters and do impromptu rap battles with people?

Tongue twisters! :D Which Turks can and can't say them? (bonus; Rufus)

*Everyone is shown the tongue twister*

Tseng: Hm. This appears simple enough. I see no reason I should struggle. Ahem. "A mathematician can mathematically mathemasize…"

Tseng: 💢

Rufus: Let me demonstrate true refinement. "A mathematician can mathematically mathemathise—whoever wrote this needs to be dragged into the street and shot—Rude, you're next."

Rude: No.

Rufus: Cissnei, go.

Cissnei: "A mathematician can mathematically mathematise mathematics in a mathematical mathemathimin—" ….Nope, I lost control.

Reno: You guys are pathetic. It's easy. Watch.

Reno: "A mathematician can mathematically mathematise mathematics in a mathematical mathematiculation. So if a mathematician can mathematise mathematics in a mathematical mathematiculation, why can’t you mathematically mathematise mathematics in a mathematical mathematiculation like the mathematician who mathematically mathematizes mathematics in a mathematical mathematiculation?"

Tseng: HOW? HOW DID YOU SUCCEED?

Reno: Because I practice my rap skillz every day. Check it—

Reno: "Big bills, big deals, yeah, I'm runnin' the scene. Got the whole world beggin' for a taste of my p—"

Tseng: THAT'S ENOUGH

[my-plot-thots]

Was Cloud killed when infantry were sent their way?😭

Angeal, Sephiroth and Genesis all start growing wings and becoming monsters, essentially defecting together to make it Shinra’s problem.

Who/what do they take with them?

No one could say precisely when it started. Sephiroth would claim it was the moment he first saw a wing on Genesis' back, and Angeal would argue it was when Genesis told them both he was leaving. Genesis, naturally, would blame Sephiroth for existing too perfectly and throwing the balance of the universe into disarray.

Regardless, the point was that one day, SOLDIER's elite began sprouting wings, and instead of doing the sane thing—seeing a doctor, maybe asking Hojo and Hollander what the hell was happening (not that they ever would)—they looked at each other, had one (1) conversation, and decided to make it Shinra's problem.

So they left. Defected. Just like that.

Except they weren't stupid, they were going to do something useful.

SOLDIER had been suspicious for a long time. Some of them were tired, some of them were sick and didn't know why, and some of them had spent too many years watching good men die, fighting Wutai, monsters and Shinra's own unchecked ambition. So when Sephiroth, Angeal, and Genesis stood before them, living proof that whatever was in their veins was changing them into something else, they listened.

And they followed. Not all, obviously. Angeal pulled Zack aside and told him, firmly, to stay put. Zack argued, because of course he did, but Angeal wouldn't budge. Zack wasn't ready to burn bridges. Not yet. Not ever, if Angeal had his way.

And so, the lines were drawn. (Sephiroth, for the record, had one hard rule: No clones, no copies, no Hojo-esque bullshit. If they were going to fight, it was going to be real).

At first, Shinra underestimated them. A few dozen SOLDIER defectors, even with Sephiroth, Angeal, and Genesis leading them, couldn't possibly stand against an entire mega corporation, right? Right? Wrong.

Shinra sent out waves of fighters and Turks. They cut through them. Shinra tried to use the media against them. Genesis countered with unsettlingly well-articulated emails to his unwavering fanclub.

Shinra tried to hunt them down. Sephiroth started hunting back.

They moved fast, striking at supply lines, freeing factory workers, taking down the worst of Scarlet's machines. But degradation still loomed. Genesis and Angeal were feeling it creeping in—the inevitable decay of their bodies, the slow disintegration into something inhuman.

Then Sephiroth, in a moment of absolutely reckless self-sacrifice (or devotion, Sephiroth would later argue), offered up his own cells. Unlike Hollander's garbage, they worked. No more degradation. No slow, agonizing descent into nothingness.

For the first time in a while, Genesis and Angeal were whole again. And so, freed from death's shadow, they settled down. Not permanently. Shinra was still trying to kill them, but they found a house. A quiet, tucked-away place in the country where they could breathe. The war wasn't over, but they could take breaks.

Until Zack showed up, SOLDIER First Class and all, to fight Shinra's battles.

Zack: You traitors won't get away with this! How could you abandon SOLDIER and everything we fight for!? Where's your honor? I'd never betray SOLDIER like this! You guys are evil!

*AGS are in the kitchen, cooking dinner, completely unfazed*

Angeal, wearing an apron: Yeah, yeah. Are you staying for dinner? I'm making extra lasagna, and for dessert, Genesis made apple pie.

Genesis: I'd love to hear more about your girlfriend, Aerith. Let me go grab some wine.

Sephiroth: If you want, you can help me set up this telescope so we can look at the stars after dinner.

Zack: Fuck SOLDIER, Fuck Shinra, Fuck President Shinra, fuck Rufus Shinra, fuck Heidegger, fuck Palmer, fuck Hojo, fuck the coffee machine in the breakroom that never works right, I quit. Pass me a plate.