mydarkclaude

[mydarkclaude]

how to know if you're the problem in your relationships ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 🎀

if multiple people are telling you the same thing about your behavior, it might be time to listen instead of defending.

sometimes you're not the victim of toxic relationships. sometimes you're the toxic one.

signs you might be the problem:

all your relationships end the same way. different people, same patterns, same complaints about your behavior.

you never take accountability. it's always someone else's fault, never yours. you're always the victim in every story you tell.

you can't handle feedback. when someone points out your behavior, you get defensive, make excuses, or turn it around on them.

you violate boundaries repeatedly. when people tell you no, you negotiate, guilt trip, or ignore them completely.

you're controlling. you want to know where people are, who they're with, what they're doing. you get upset when they make choices without consulting you.

how you might be toxic: you manipulate people with guilt, tears, or threats. you use your emotions to control other people's behavior.

you're jealous and possessive. you can't handle when people have other friends, interests, or priorities.

you make everything about you. other people's achievements become about your failures. their problems become about your trauma.

you don't respect people's autonomy. you think loving someone means controlling them.

why it's hard to see:

you justify your behavior because of your intentions. you think wanting love excuses demanding control.

you focus on how your behavior affects you, not how it affects others. you think about your hurt feelings, not theirs.

you've convinced yourself that your way of loving is normal because it's all you know.

how to change:

take accountability without excuses. don't explain why you did it, just acknowledge that you did it and it was wrong.

listen to feedback without defending yourself. when multiple people say the same thing, there's probably truth in it.

work on yourself before trying to fix relationships. go to therapy, read books, learn better communication skills.

respect people's boundaries even when you don't understand them. no means no, not "convince me."

what toxic behavior looks like:

love bombing then withdrawing. being amazing until someone is attached, then becoming demanding and controlling.

emotional manipulation. using guilt, tears, anger, or threats to get what you want.

isolation. trying to separate people from their friends and family so you become their only source of support.

gaslighting. making people question their reality, memory, or feelings.

the hardest truth:

you might have learned toxic patterns from your family or past relationships. that explains your behavior but doesn't excuse it.

you're responsible for unlearning unhealthy patterns and learning better ones.

being hurt doesn't give you permission to hurt others. being damaged doesn't justify damaging others.

how to be better:

focus on your own healing instead of trying to fix others. work on becoming someone you'd want to be in a relationship with.

learn healthy communication skills. practice expressing your needs without demands or manipulation.

respect other people's autonomy. love them enough to let them make their own choices, even if you disagree.

if you're always the victim in your relationship stories, you might actually be the villain.

[mydarkclaude]

how to know if you're the problem in your relationships ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 🎀

if multiple people are telling you the same thing about your behavior, it might be time to listen instead of defending.

sometimes you're not the victim of toxic relationships. sometimes you're the toxic one.

signs you might be the problem:

all your relationships end the same way. different people, same patterns, same complaints about your behavior.

you never take accountability. it's always someone else's fault, never yours. you're always the victim in every story you tell.

you can't handle feedback. when someone points out your behavior, you get defensive, make excuses, or turn it around on them.

you violate boundaries repeatedly. when people tell you no, you negotiate, guilt trip, or ignore them completely.

you're controlling. you want to know where people are, who they're with, what they're doing. you get upset when they make choices without consulting you.

how you might be toxic: you manipulate people with guilt, tears, or threats. you use your emotions to control other people's behavior.

you're jealous and possessive. you can't handle when people have other friends, interests, or priorities.

you make everything about you. other people's achievements become about your failures. their problems become about your trauma.

you don't respect people's autonomy. you think loving someone means controlling them.

why it's hard to see:

you justify your behavior because of your intentions. you think wanting love excuses demanding control.

you focus on how your behavior affects you, not how it affects others. you think about your hurt feelings, not theirs.

you've convinced yourself that your way of loving is normal because it's all you know.

how to change:

take accountability without excuses. don't explain why you did it, just acknowledge that you did it and it was wrong.

listen to feedback without defending yourself. when multiple people say the same thing, there's probably truth in it.

work on yourself before trying to fix relationships. go to therapy, read books, learn better communication skills.

respect people's boundaries even when you don't understand them. no means no, not "convince me."

what toxic behavior looks like:

love bombing then withdrawing. being amazing until someone is attached, then becoming demanding and controlling.

emotional manipulation. using guilt, tears, anger, or threats to get what you want.

isolation. trying to separate people from their friends and family so you become their only source of support.

gaslighting. making people question their reality, memory, or feelings.

the hardest truth:

you might have learned toxic patterns from your family or past relationships. that explains your behavior but doesn't excuse it.

you're responsible for unlearning unhealthy patterns and learning better ones.

being hurt doesn't give you permission to hurt others. being damaged doesn't justify damaging others.

how to be better:

focus on your own healing instead of trying to fix others. work on becoming someone you'd want to be in a relationship with.

learn healthy communication skills. practice expressing your needs without demands or manipulation.

respect other people's autonomy. love them enough to let them make their own choices, even if you disagree.

if you're always the victim in your relationship stories, you might actually be the villain.

[mydarkclaude]

why you attract the wrong people (and how to stop) ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 🧸

you keep attracting the same type of person in different packaging. the emotionally unavailable one. the narcissist. the commitment-phobe. the user. the one who love-bombs then disappears.

you wonder if you have a sign on your forehead that says "broken people welcome here."

you don't have a sign. you have patterns. and until you break those patterns, you'll keep attracting the same energy in different bodies.

you're attracting your unhealed wounds

here's the uncomfortable truth: you attract what you are, not what you want.

if you have abandonment issues, you'll attract people who abandon you. if you have low self-worth, you'll attract people who treat you like you're worthless. if you're afraid of intimacy, you'll attract people who can't get close.

your unhealed trauma is a magnet for people who will trigger it.

this isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility to heal it.

you're confusing chemistry with compatibility

you think the butterflies mean something. the instant connection. the way they make you feel like you're the only person in the room.

but chemistry isn't always good chemistry. sometimes what you're feeling is your nervous system recognizing familiar dysfunction.

you're attracted to the chaos because chaos feels like home. you're drawn to the uncertainty because uncertainty is what you know. you mistake intensity for intimacy.

real compatibility is calm. it's easy. it's someone who makes you feel safe, not on edge. someone who's consistent, not unpredictable.

stop mistaking your trauma response for true love.

you're trying to heal people instead of yourself

you see their potential and think you can love them into becoming it. you see their wounds and think you can be their medicine. you see their brokenness and think you can fix it.

but you can't love someone into healing. you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved. you can't fix someone who doesn't think they're broken.

you're attracted to broken people because fixing them feels easier than fixing yourself. saving them feels more noble than saving yourself.

but you're not a rehabilitation center. you're not a therapy session. you're not a charity case.

stop trying to be someone's savior and start being your own.

you don't believe you deserve healthy love

deep down, you don't think you deserve someone who treats you well. someone who's consistent, reliable, honest, and kind feels too good to be true.

you think there must be a catch. you think they'll leave when they see the "real" you. you think healthy love is boring.

so you sabotage the good ones and chase the ones who confirm your worst beliefs about yourself.

you think drama means passion. you think struggle means depth. you think pain means love.

but healthy love doesn't hurt. real love doesn't require you to earn it. true love doesn't make you question your worth.

you're advertising your wounds

you talk about your trauma on the first date. you overshare your insecurities. you broadcast your vulnerabilities to anyone who will listen.

predators can smell desperation. users can sense low self-esteem. narcissists can spot people-pleasers from a mile away.

you think being open about your struggles makes you authentic. but there's a difference between vulnerability and bleeding all over people.

save your deepest wounds for people who've earned the right to hold them.

you're not setting standards

you're so afraid of being alone that you accept anyone who shows interest. you have no non-negotiables. no deal-breakers. no boundaries.

you think having standards means you're picky. you think requirements mean you're high-maintenance.

but standards aren't about being difficult. they're about protecting your peace and energy.

if you don't have standards, you'll attract people who don't meet any.

you're operating from scarcity

you think this person might be your only chance at love. you think you need to hold onto whoever shows interest, even if they treat you poorly.

you settle for crumbs because you think it's better than starving. you accept part-time love because you think it's better than no love.

but operating from scarcity attracts people who want to give you the bare minimum. it attracts people who know you'll accept less than you deserve.

operate from abundance. know that you have options. trust that better is coming.

how to start attracting the right people

1. heal your patterns first

go to therapy. do the work. identify your triggers and heal your wounds. understand why you're drawn to dysfunction and break the cycle.

you can't attract healthy love from an unhealthy place.

2. raise your standards

decide what you will and won't accept. write down your non-negotiables. stick to them even when someone cute tries to negotiate.

your standards are your boundaries. protect them.

3. become the person you want to attract

want someone emotionally available? become emotionally available. want someone confident? work on your confidence. want someone who has their life together? get your life together.

like attracts like.

4. stop trying to save people

it's not your job to fix anyone. it's not your responsibility to heal anyone's trauma. it's not your mission to convince anyone of your worth.

save that energy for yourself.

5. learn to sit with the good ones

when someone treats you well, don't panic. don't self-sabotage. don't look for reasons why it won't work.

practice receiving love without trying to earn it. practice being chosen without questioning why.

6. trust your intuition

your gut knows. your body knows. your nervous system knows.

if someone makes you feel anxious, confused, or small — trust that feeling. if someone's words don't match their actions — trust the actions.

stop talking yourself out of red flags.

7. be okay with being alone

desperation is the worst perfume. neediness is the least attractive quality.

be okay with being single. enjoy your own company. build a life you love.

when you're genuinely happy alone, you'll only add people who enhance your happiness, not complete it.

the types of people you'll start attracting

when you heal your patterns and raise your standards, you'll start attracting:

people who communicate clearly. people who are emotionally available. people who follow through on their commitments. people who respect your boundaries. people who add to your life instead of draining it.

you'll also stop attracting:

people who need fixing. people who can't commit. people who play games. people who trigger your insecurities. people who make you question your worth.

why some people will disappear when you change

when you start attracting different people, some of your current circle will disappear. the ones who benefited from your low standards. the ones who took advantage of your people-pleasing. the ones who thrived on your dysfunction.

let them go. they were never really for you anyway.

the difference between settling and being realistic

there's a difference between having unrealistic expectations and having standards.

unrealistic: wanting someone perfect who doesn't exist. realistic: wanting someone emotionally healthy who treats you well.

unrealistic: expecting someone to never have any problems. realistic: expecting someone to handle their problems maturely.

unrealistic: wanting someone to complete you. realistic: wanting someone to complement you.

don't confuse having standards with being unrealistic.

what to do while you're waiting for the right person

don't just sit around waiting. use this time to become the best version of yourself.

work on your goals. heal your trauma. build your confidence. create a life you love. develop your interests. strengthen your friendships.

become so whole that you don't need anyone to complete you.

the mindset shift that changes everything

stop asking "why do I keep attracting the wrong people?" and start asking "what am I putting out there that attracts these people?"

stop being a victim of your patterns and start being the author of your story.

stop waiting for the right person to find you and start becoming the right person for yourself.

remember: you teach people how to treat you

if you accept disrespect, you'll get more disrespect. if you tolerate inconsistency, you'll get more inconsistency. if you settle for breadcrumbs, you'll keep getting breadcrumbs.

teach people that you deserve respect by respecting yourself. teach people that you deserve consistency by being consistent with your standards. teach people that you deserve love by loving yourself first.

you don't attract what you want. you attract what you are. become the energy you want to attract.

[mydarkclaude]

you're not "too much," you're just around the wrong people ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 🧸

you've been told you're too loud, too emotional, too intense, too passionate, too sensitive, too everything.

so you made yourself smaller. you dimmed your light. you apologized for taking up space.

but you're not too much. you're just around people who are too little.

who tells you you're "too much": people who are uncomfortable with authentic emotion. people who prefer surface-level interactions to real connection.

people who are threatened by your passion because it highlights their apathy. people who are intimidated by your energy because it makes them feel small.

people who benefit from you being smaller, quieter, more manageable.

what "too much" actually means: you feel deeply in a world that's afraid of depth. you care passionately about things that matter to you.

you express yourself authentically instead of filtering everything through other people's comfort levels.

you refuse to shrink yourself to fit into spaces that were never meant for you anyway.

the right people will never make you feel like too much: they'll celebrate your passion, not try to dim it. they'll match your energy, not drain it.

they'll appreciate your depth, not be threatened by it. they'll see your intensity as a superpower, not a flaw.

they'll make space for all of you, not just the parts that make them comfortable.

what happens when you stop apologizing for who you are: you attract people who love you for you, not despite you. you stop performing a watered-down version of yourself.

you discover that the right people think you're not too much but exactly enough.

signs you're around the right people: they encourage your dreams instead of calling them unrealistic. they celebrate your wins instead of trying to humble you.

they want to hear your thoughts and opinions. they're curious about your passions.

they never make you feel like you need to apologize for being yourself.

remember: you were never too much. you were just in the wrong rooms, around the wrong people, trying to fit into spaces that were never meant for someone like you.

the right people won't just tolerate your energy - they'll be energized by it.

stop shrinking. start shining. the right people are looking for exactly what you have to offer.

[mydarkclaude]

[mydarkclaude]

why you're not glowing up (it's not what you think) ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 🎀

you're doing all the "right" things. skincare routine, gym membership, new wardrobe, pinterest-worthy morning routine. you bought the supplements, followed the influencers, saved every "that girl" post.

so why do you still feel exactly the same?

because you're trying to glow up from the outside in. completely backwards.

the girls who actually transform — the ones who look different six months later, who carry themselves like they know something you don't — they didn't start with the aesthetic. they started with the invisible stuff first.

you're still operating from your old identity

here's the thing nobody tells you: you can't dress like her, work out like her, eat like her, and still think like the old you. your brain will sabotage every external change until your internal world catches up.

you'll buy the expensive skincare and still pick at your face. you'll meal prep on sunday and binge by wednesday. you'll set the 6am alarm and hit snooze until 9.

why? because deep down, you still believe you're the girl who doesn't follow through. you still see yourself as the one who starts strong and gives up. you're trying to change your actions while keeping your old story about yourself.

the real work is rewriting that story. deciding you're someone who keeps promises to herself. someone who deserves the life she's building. someone who doesn't quit when it gets boring.

you're avoiding the real work

face masks are easier than facing your patterns. new clothes are easier than new boundaries. gym selfies are easier than sitting with why you actually hate yourself.

the real glow up work is boring:

going to therapy and actually doing the homework

journaling without making it aesthetic

saying no to people who drain you (even when they guilt trip you)

setting standards and sticking to them when someone tests them

sitting with discomfort instead of shopping it away

looking at why you seek validation from people who don't even like themselves

you want the transformation without the mess. but healing is messy. growth is uncomfortable. real change means grieving who you used to be.

you're performing transformation, not living it

posting about your 5am routine doesn't make you a morning person. talking about self-love doesn't mean you practice it. buying the books doesn't mean you read them.

you're performing the aesthetic of change without doing the actual work.

real transformation is invisible at first:

choosing yourself even when no one's watching

doing the work when it's not exciting anymore

building habits so quietly no one notices until the results are undeniable

healing your relationship with yourself before you try to fix anything else

stop documenting your journey and start living it.

you're waiting for motivation to maintain you

motivation got you started. that burst of "new year, new me" energy that had you buying workout clothes and downloading meditation apps.

but motivation is a liar. it shows up when you don't need it and disappears when you do.

discipline keeps you going. discipline is showing up on tuesday at 6am when the excitement has worn off. discipline is choosing the salad when you want the fries. discipline is doing your skincare routine when you're exhausted.

the girls who actually transform? they show up on the days they don't want to. every single time. they built systems that work even when they don't feel like it.

you're trying to skip the basics

you want the advanced routine before you've mastered drinking enough water. you want the perfect morning routine before you can wake up on time. you want self-love before you've learned basic self-respect.

glow ups aren't built on complicated routines and expensive products. they're built on basics done consistently:

sleeping 7-8 hours

drinking water

moving your body

eating food that nourishes you

protecting your peace

keeping promises to yourself

master the boring stuff first. the magic happens in the mundane.

you think time will fix what discipline won't

"i'll start monday." "after the holidays." "when life calms down."

life is never going to calm down. there will always be stress, chaos, reasons to wait. the girls who glow up don't wait for perfect conditions — they create them.

stop waiting for the right time. there is no right time. there's only right now.

the real glow up formula

change your identity first. decide who you want to be, then start acting like her today.

do the boring work. therapy, boundaries, healing, discipline. the stuff that doesn't photograph well.

build systems, not motivation. create routines that work even when you don't feel like it.

master the basics. sleep, water, movement, nourishment, peace.

stay consistent longer than you stayed inconsistent. this is where most people quit.

stop trying to look transformed. start being transformed.

stop performing your glow up for the internet. start living it for yourself.

stop waiting for motivation to save you. start building discipline to sustain you.

your glow up isn't about becoming someone new — it's about becoming who you've always been underneath all the fear, doubt, and other people's opinions.

she was always there. you just forgot how to be her.

[mydarkclaude]

✧Hey pretty! Welcome to my iconic blog !

"Things take time. Just enjoy. "

𝑨𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑒:

✧ she/ her

✧ female

✧ 18

✧ intp

✧ I love reading and listening to music

✧ My fav color is dark red

✧ English is not my first language, sorry if there are any errors

↷✦; girl talks ❞

↷✦; tips ❞

↷✦; self love ❞

↷✦; books & music ❞

↷✦; advice ❞

I love you princess 💋

[mydarkclaude]

✧ the person you’ll be in 5 years depends on:

The books you read

The food you eat

The habits you build

The friends you meet

The workouts you do

The money you invest

The sacrifices you make

xoxo, sally

pic1 | pic2 | pic3

[mydarkclaude]

stop enganging so much in negative content. what you consume affects your mind, and with a negative mind, you'll never have a positive life. stop watching sad videos, stop listening to sad music, stop drowning in your own sadness and in the comfort of it. try to appreciate more the little daily joys, start loving life and it will love you right back. fill your environment with beautiful souls and beautiful vibes, and watch everything change. you can choose how you perceive things, how you show up in the world everyday, how you think and how you treat yourself. use that at your own advantage and stop self sabotaging. you're the master of your own fate.

[mydarkclaude]

gay test

[mydarkclaude]