naps-while-it-rains

[naps-while-it-rains]

peeta mellark’s parents really named their son after a bread and thought we wouldn’t notice

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to whoever said “your college years are the best years of your life”: are the best years of my life in the room with us or

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- Elise Kova, Crystal Crowned

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they should invent a sleep that is restful

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why does no one talk about how stressful grocery shopping is once you’re cooking for yourself for the first time

like “how much is this food? is this expensive? not sure but it is slightly less expensive than that other food with a similar size. if it’s expensive do i really need it? i can eat other things. wait what do i have to eat at home. wait what did i come here to get again?? i got this basket so as to limit how many things i grabbed but i’ve already grabbed too many things and now it’s hurting my arm and i should have just gotten a cart but it’s embarrassing at this point to get a cart and leave my things here” and then suddenly it’s dark outside and you’re rly hungry and the day is over and you can’t remember what time you got here so now you’re just slowly going insane in the produce section at Sprouts

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there’s nothing worse than feeling like all you do is take up space :/

like damn im sorry im here too

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the hardest thing about struggling with your mental health is having weeks or months of consecutive ‘good days’ where you feel normal and sane and okay and then suddenly finding that tiny twinge of emptiness in the pit of your stomach when you’re alone. not knowing if it’s just the lack of sleep or recent stress or sudden changes in your life, or if it’s something more than that. like maybe it’s that first sign of your depression getting bad again. then the thought that this is just a big manifestation of your anxiety. the thoughts that feel like your own but are toxic to your mental stability. realizing that normal people don’t have to question their feelings. that maybe you’ll never be one of those people. that maybe you’ll never fully trust your own happiness. or at least never trust that it’ll last. because even good things eventually come to an end. thinking that you hear lots of people say “i struggle with depression,” and “i suffer from anxiety and depression,” —present tense— but you can’t remember a single one that said “i used to suffer from depression”.—past tense—that maybe these are demons you can never outrun. the paralyzing thought that no matter what you do, what steps you take to take care of yourself, how hard you work to achieve goals that are important to you, it doesn’t matter. it doesn’t matter because you. are. not. in. control. in the same way cancer grows and metastasizes without permission, your own mind like a villain can take from you your confidence and self-worth and drive and identity all because of a chemical imbalance in your brain. and that scares the shit out of you because what if— what if everything you’ve worked for was all for nothing? what if nothing you do matters, or will ever matter? if that’s true, then you think, why try at all. it almost seems better to save yourself all that effort and wishing and hoping toward something so unattainable. but you remember then, that the moment you choose to give up trying— & start to take part in your own misery, you have let the demons win.

[naps-while-it-rains]

ah yes. baby sale. only ten bucks