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John: Is it still visible? Where Ava slapped me? Yelena: Your face looks like a don't walk signal. Bucky: Your face looks like a photo negative for the hamburger helper box. Alexei: A palm reader could tell Ava's future by looking at your face. Bob: The phrase 'talk to the hand cause the face ain't listening' doesn't work for you, because the hand is your face. John: …A simple 'yes' would've sufficed.

[nothin-l]

John: Is it still visible? Where Ava slapped me? Yelena: Your face looks like a don't walk signal. Bucky: Your face looks like a photo negative for the hamburger helper box. Alexei: A palm reader could tell Ava's future by looking at your face. Bob: The phrase 'talk to the hand cause the face ain't listening' doesn't work for you, because the hand is your face. John: …A simple 'yes' would've sufficed.

[nothin-l]

i genuinely want to hear team caps arguments

cap or iron man

hi quick question just for the sake of curiosity… Team captain america or Team iron man (referring to captain america: civil war)

debate in the comments. im trying to start a war

[nothin-l]

cap or iron man

hi quick question just for the sake of curiosity… Team captain america or Team iron man (referring to captain america: civil war)

debate in the comments. im trying to start a war

[nothin-l]

Diluc is so dramatic

This is Diluc:

This is kaeya:

Diluc is such a drama king. We all know who threw the most tantrums

again,

this is Diluc:

And this is kaeya:

kaeya is so chill and sweet 🥲 diluc is such a brat dw I love them both

I love them sm tHE DarKnEsS IS ToO OvERwheLMiNg 🦸‍♂️

[nothin-l]

🗿🗿🗿🗿

if miguel ohara is 6'9...

his feet probably dangle off his bed...

if his feet dangle off the bed, his feet are prbly numb in the mornings...

and if someone is in miguel's bed...

they wouldn't be able to walk...

so does that mean both of you can't walk in the mornings

[nothin-l]

how did this get 500+ notes

Diluc is so dramatic

This is Diluc:

This is kaeya:

Diluc is such a drama king. We all know who threw the most tantrums

again,

this is Diluc:

And this is kaeya:

kaeya is so chill and sweet 🥲 diluc is such a brat dw I love them both

I love them sm tHE DarKnEsS IS ToO OvERwheLMiNg 🦸‍♂️

[nothin-l]

Please Reblog is Your Blog is Safe for Non-Binary People.

If my mutuals can’t rb this then we can’t be mutuals

[nothin-l]

😭😭😭😭

toots | genshin men [crack headcanons]

characters: zhongli, childe/tartaglia/ajax, kamisato ayato, thoma, diluc, kaeya, xiao, albedo, itto, kaedehara kazuha, gorou

genre: crack/fluff/humour (sfw), headcanons

tw: the entirety of this is purely fart humour lol, mild references to shit

part 2 available here .

zhongli ✰

sounds pretty

like the elegant kinda fart from tight butt cheeks

but doesn’t rly fart unless he’s alone… bc he’s a gentleman

seems like the type who would excuse himself just to let a rip

if u DO hear his farts, they are a sharp sound… like i said… from tight butt cheeks

god forbid hutao to ever hear him bc she would NEVER let it go

childe ✰

loud ass farts bc his siblings find them funny

he probably has fart competitions w them

the definition of loud & proud tbh

this man doesn’t crit but his farts do

he isn’t even ashamed to say “it wasn’t me”

homeboy would say “whoops, had too much of those jade parcels” while farting continuously

literally doesn’t care if u hear him fart anw wow what a king

ayato ✰

mf has silent killers and blames it on other people

such as thoma at shuumatsuban meetings

let me tell u.. THEY STINK

ayato’s diet is wretched like who eats sea ganodermas in their boba??

he probably had some salted eggs & fish skin in a mixed fried rice dish

every dish he makes is suspicious but that is evident through the stench

doctors who inspect his poo must be like “this mf constipated & farts like a garbage truck unloading itself”

thoma ✰

has chronic gaseous syndrome bc he eats whack ass shit so his farts stink so damn bad

the toilet is begging w balls dropping just to have thoma use another toilet

embarrassing to have hotpot w him bc his farts are hot + smelly af

like a seeping hot cloud of stink how bow dat

but mans would shit plenty before seeing u just to make sure he doesn’t ruin the date w some nasty ass farts

probably has sharted himself bc of ayato’s whack ass diet (no pun intended)

diluc ✰

his farts are … soft yet not smelly

he clearly shits everyday

god bless adelinde for her cooking skills cus man got enough fibre

super polite about it too

“excuse me” if he farted & probably would clear his throat

if it stinks, he would pull u aside just so u wouldn’t have to inhale that rectal perfume phew

kaeya ✰

oh god it’s like rolling clouds of green fart bc that man drinks so much

mf’s organs r failing at this rate

literally SO, SO, SOOOO SMELLY & LOUD

diluc would make him leave the tavern 

it would make anyone GAG instantly

probably why venti passes out at times

like it’s unbelievable that a sxc man could have such an unpleasant.. fart

xiao ✰

doesn’t think it’s an adepti thing to fart

he eats mild food anyway.

smiley yanxiao farts more than him ig

xiao swears to not fart but probably would toot himself when he’s alone

probably tries to hold it in bc it sounds like a whale

no but rly, those who are quiet tend to have loud ass farts

the only person to have heard his fart was *probably* bosacius or the traveller lol

albedo ✰

mans would STUDY his own farts according to his dietary changes

tries to hypothesises what type of enzymes cause diff types of farts

would experiment w his diet JUST TO SEE IF HIS FARTS WILL SMELL & SOUND DIFFERENT

sucrose would keep herself “busy” w OTHER experiments

timaeus would remain at the damn crafting bench…

as far away from albedo as possible

hence albedo probably does his farting experiments at dragonspine

itto ✰

champion at farting

we are all dead.

actual HORRENDOUS farts.

definitely would challenge guuji yae or kujou sara to a fart competition

“let’s see who can fart more without shitting themselves”

would never blame shinobu if someone realised he farted

he rly would be SO PROUD of his own farts regardless of the smell

just wants it to be loud & proud like childe’s

kazuha ✰

calls his fart the “wind breaker”

uses it to identify the wind’s direction

if it smells, he says “calm as the breeze”

sometimes would fart w/o realising just to relieve stress (while writing haikus & poems)

sleep farter for sure

but yeah his farts are soft.. nothing too loud

gorou ✰

farts like eggs and kibbles

dog farts r terrible… beyond nasty

gets embarrassed & his ears fall if someone asks “general gorou, was that you???”

highkey would DENY it & make some excuse like “oh it’s probably the fertilisers” like what soil got a booty hole to release *that* stench??

refuses to fart around kokomi that’s for sure

farts nervously arnd guuji yae tbh

[nothin-l]

what vision?

[nothin-l]

Diluc is so dramatic

This is Diluc:

This is kaeya:

Diluc is such a drama king. We all know who threw the most tantrums

again,

this is Diluc:

And this is kaeya:

kaeya is so chill and sweet 🥲 diluc is such a brat dw I love them both

I love them sm tHE DarKnEsS IS ToO OvERwheLMiNg 🦸‍♂️

[nothin-l]

what vision?

[nothin-l]

why paisley (lego friends new gen)

Ok so you know the new generation of lego friends?

Ok so paisley... the one in the top left, her name is paisley. Why paisley? 😭😭there’s nothing wrong with her, it’s just- 

Like her parents were parsley and basil.