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Full Analysis: Hot Springs Scene

By popular demand, here it is! Sorry that this took so long, school just resumed again so I’ve been very busy.

To begin analyzing this scene, we need to start a little while before, when Aster and Ellie meet in Paul’s bedroom. I like to think that Aster already regarded Ellie with some curiosity before, because they seem to read similar things (hallway scene) and don’t fit in as well at school as most people (bathroom scene). When Ellie comments on Aster’s painting, Aster realizes that Ellie understands it, that she sees the meaning that Aster was going for and this intrigues her because most people would just say something such as “It’s nice” or “I like it” but Ellie understands the stroke on the side and what it stands for. Since Aster is interested, she asks to follow Ellie to the station. 

Afterwards, she decides that she wants to take Ellie to her secret place. Her choice of the words “Want to get out of here?” is likely not randomly chosen by Alice Wu as both Aster and Ellie feel stifled and even suffocated by Squahamish where they don’t quite fit in. I feel that getting out is something they both want to do. At this point, I think that Aster might be starting to develop feelings for Ellie but probably isn’t aware of it, just seeing someone who seems to understand her and wants to get closer to her. 

When they reach the hot springs, Aster strips down, baring herself to Ellie. She is also open to Ellie, exposing the part of herself that she usually keeps hidden. She has also shown Ellie her solace, where she goes to get away from the world, she really isn’t holding back in sharing with Ellie. 

Ellie, on the other hand, is more reserved. She still wears many layers but she does take off the outermost one before entering the water which is a step for her. Aster politely turns away when Ellie does so when she realizes that Ellie is uncomfortable and had also looked away when Aster stripped which is considerate of her. While Aster and Ellie are very similar in some ways, how they interact with each other is also trial and error and they’re figuring each other out. 

Aster points out how she’s never hung out with another girl and not talked about boys before. This again shows how their similar in having interests that differ from their peers. When Ellie reassures Aster that whatever she said about God isn’t silly, the screenplay has this direction “A moment of real connection.” That’s what this scene is all about, Aster and Ellie are connecting.

Afterwards, Aster tries to strip layers off Ellie which on the literal level, is playful and it shows how their bonding but on a deeper level, it also shows how Ellie is opening up to Aster, that she’s almost baring herself to her.

Later, when  they float, Ellie is only wearing one shirt and Aster is wearing one of hers. This is very important symbolically because not only has Ellie made herself vulnerable, she’s entrusted Aster with this. Furthermore, when they float, you can see how they reflect in the water. This references the opening of the movie, about beings with one head made of two faces and two sets of limbs.

One way to see this is that Aster and Ellie complete each other. It’s a sweet, soulmate thing. 

However, the way I prefer is that Aster and Ellie are both complete when they’re open. They don’t need another person, only themselves being honest with themselves. People are too busy looking for someone to complete them that they don’t realize that they are complete as it is.

Ellie openly talks about her mother, someone very close to her heart, with Aster, showing how she’s really opened up. She also drifts towards Aster during this scene which really shows how well they fit together.

Ellie says this line “gravity is matter’s response to loneliness” and my thoughts on this are “Gravity is matter’s response to loneliness. Gravity, the way it tugs and pulls, how it grounds you and keep you from losing yourself in your loneliness to dreams of what could have been. Submerge yourself in water, it feels like a hug. That’s gravity.The world gets lonely sometimes but the moon never leaves, always orbiting around us. Gravity keeps the moon from drifting, it keeps a friend there on our loneliest nights when the only one listening is the bright moon. Gravity pulls things to each other, gravity means weight, gravity means certainty. Gravity doesn’t erase your loneliness but it helps and nobody said a response has to be effective, just that it’s there. Gravity is matter’s response to loneliness.” It’s a very loaded line and it comes from Ellie just saying what comes to mind, something she wouldn’t do around anyone else.

When they float together, with Ellie’s legs and Aster’s arms visible, they really seem to complete each other. They become one person with two faces, again a callback to the opening. 

I apologise for my ideas being a little all over the place. This is all I can think of right now and I’d love to hear your thoughts! Grounding scene analysis to be done soon.

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okay but can we talk about how the half of it opens with the story of soulmates being one entity with four arms, four legs and two faces and how that’s what being whole is and then cut to aster and ellie in the hot spring with their reflections giving them that exact anatomy because they’re already whole in themselves but they don’t have the capacity to see that because they’re too busy looking at the sky

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i think we’re using ellister? but every combination of their names is so pretty

hey did we agree on a ship name for ellie and aster in the end? i was thinking of astellie? or aslie? what do y'all think

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What people who read my work want: consistent updates, good writing

What I have: 6 WIPs and an angsty concept

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talk to me

Even if you’ve never watched Atypical, please, please read this. It started as a fic but I think there’s a message in it that needs to be heard. I don’t know if you’ve heard this recently but you deserve to be loved.

“You know, it really sucks that, since young, people drill into our heads that a boy and girl together is the only way, that it's only natural and all that nonsense. They never presented any other option and that really sucks. It's hard to unlearn all these stupid rules— believe me, I've been there— and it's going to be painful but loving and accepting yourself is more important than whatever the hell the world thinks. Knowing doesn't necessarily help but it's a step. I beat myself up for ages and it was a really shitty time and I thought I was broken and I could never be loved. Look where I am now."

Izzie just hums.

"I think that your happiness matters more than trying to please the world. Fuck the world!" Tanya exclaims, drawing a half laugh from Izzie.

"It's not going to be easy and you're not just going to be able to change overnight but you are wonderful and you are loved, Izzie. You deserve your own happiness and your own happy ending and to be able to accept yourself for who you are. You deserve to be you. You're neither broken nor wrong, you're strong and you're amazing. One day, you're going to get there and you're going to wonder why you were ever so worried about this. You'll get there, it could take a week or a month or a year or any amount of time but, one day, you're going to love yourself and be proud of who you are and how far you've come."

"You're crying," Izzie says as Tanya brushes her tears off.

"It's fine. I just-" she hiccups "I just wish someone told me this when I was twelve and crying myself to sleep at night. I was so disgusted and in denial and I hated myself. It wasn't nice."

She pauses, breathing deeply, before continuing. "But you know what's great? Back then, everything sucked and I wanted to die and I felt so, so alone. It was so dark that I never would've imagined being where I am today. I've come really far and I've learned that I deserve to be proud of myself for that. I've learned that I am deserving of love, that I am loved and that I love and I think that's the best thing I've ever learned."

Izzie just exhales heavily. She doesn't know what she feels but she wants to believe Tanya and she tells herself that she will.

"Look, I'll give you my number. If you ever want to talk, I'm here. It's a long process and you have to learn to do it yourself but the least I can do is be here for you. Doing it alone is the hardest."

Eventually, Tanya gets up to go. She places her hands on Izzie's shoulder and looks her in the eye. "Remember, you are loved and you deserved to be loved and you can love and you deserve a happy ending."

Izzie sits there for a little while more and for once, in a long, long time, she genuinely feels so loved. She knows that she is loved and she feels at peace.

This is the part I really want people to read but full thing is on AO3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/24304345

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where i’m supposed to be (will you hold me)

short angst piece because I finished Atypical

Izzie is terrified.

Izzie is terrified, even when she tells Casey that she’s not scared of that asshole, of her mother’s latest ex-boyfriend-turned-current-boyfriend-again whose name she can’t even bring herself to think about because with it comes him getting high out of his mind and yelling, throwing things. That, somehow, isn’t what scares her the most about him. It isn’t how she has to shield her siblings from him, who are now more of her own children at this point, it’s not that. It’s selfish, really.

What she hates the most about him is how he sneaks little comments about her and barges into her room when she’s supposed to be asleep and the worst part is, her mother says nothing. She says nothing, when her boyfriend eyes her teenage daughter with a predatory gaze. She says nothing, when Izzie finally breaks down, handing her siblings over to their grandmother, even when her brother gives her a heartbroken gaze. Her little brother, barely 12, becomes the adult when she’s gone. Their grandmother is old, she can’t keep up with a rowdy 7-year-old and a screaming baby.

His eyes have lost the shine that comes believing everything right’s with this world and he lost his childish innocence the first time Izzie dropped them off with their grandmother and disappeared for the first time. Over that one night, when she had disappeared in tears and returned with scratches, she’d seen how much he’d grown. He assumed the role of the responsible adult and the worst thing was that he understood. He told her to take time off for herself and that he would manage with their grandmother’s help for one night. He told her how grateful he was for her always putting them first and how he loved her and she needed this break and he would make her take it.

Izzie told herself that she wouldn’t be like their mother, she wouldn’t force them to grow up before they had to but she did. She still did and she hated herself for it. She just couldn’t take it anymore and she needed a break. Still, she hates herself even as she sinks into Casey’s arms, thinking how she couldn’t be any better than her mother. She doesn’t stop thinking about how she abandoned her siblings the same way their mother often did. She was just like her mother and she was disgusting for it. Despite this, she lets Casey hold her for a while, sobbing, and lets herself drink in the comfort and the warmth and she lets herself be safe, even if only for a while.

keep reading at https://archiveofourown.org/works/24301216 :) yes there’s more

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Do we have a THOI discord?

pls... I want to make friends... if we dont, anyone want to make the discord with me...

also, thanks for your responses to my analysis! I’ll do another one soon since yall like it so much :D

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OSDD?

Hey guys, Outspaced here. I’ve this secondary blog cause we don’t want to expose ourselves to the host’s IRLs. Whenever I post here, I’m usually fronting. I’m just going to make a master post to talk about OSDD and I’ll edit this whenever I have something to add/occasionally reblog it, since I don’t want to spam the people who are following me for The Half Of It content. I won’t give any full names of alters here for privacy reasons. I am aware of some discourse in the DID/OSDD community but I don’t want to discuss it, I just want to share a little/get things out of my system (no, no pun intended) instead of internalizing it, thus I’m not tagging this with those tags. Anyway, since this will be long, more content under the cut if you’re interested. Block the tag [#outspaced talks about the system] if you don’t want to see this :) Also nobody is more confused than tumblr when trying to recommend me posts :P

ALTERS

K-----

kind of the protector in a sense

takes over when overwhelmed

calm/cold/doesn’t show emotions

suppresses things, doesn’t care what people think

sometimes comes across as rude

“hey it’s ok, it’s ok... lemme take over for a while alright?”

A------

practically never fronts

comforter when upset and K fronts

passive, the nice one, soft. sad

likes the sky, ocean, water, sunrises, sunsets

mega RSD, eager to please

likes animals. kind

J

gamer, writes fanfiction in a dark room. watches movies on shady sites

soft hoodies. black and shades of blue. cornflower

recently likes to go by outspaced. no name, just J

bold but spaces out a lot. thus the name. caffeinated

“y’all don’t want the he/hims? i’ll take the he/hims”

relatively new. the one who LOVES androgynous/masculine clothes

wants to produce music in a dark room early in the morning

the one who actually likes boys. none of us really care but he’s really the one who’s like “damn he’s kinda cute”

[unknown]

soft, likes hugs and being upside down

age regressed/childish. animal noises

lowkey hyper, loves gym and netball/captains ball

clumsy but enthusiastic

all the animations! cartoons!

textile stimming. needs comfort items. very sensitive

probably about eight but sometimes younger

[host]

confused, pretty sure they don’t exist

a lot of a mess, happens to be the body that contains everyone

denial for the longest time, still not sure what’s going on

doesn’t actually know if we had trauma and hesitant to say we have osdd but seems to be so

everyone masquerades as host, anything other than singular pronouns is unusual

doesnt know how many of us there are

pretty sure they’re just made of a combination of us fronting but can never be sure

regularly apologizes to J because female body

just really confused

[the mean one]

intrusive thoughts, snaps easily at people

nameless, not really there. slides their way in 

nobody knows who they are

they don’t hate the host, they can’t control themself very well

cares for host in their own way but struggles too much

will lash out at people, good at manipulation/guiltripping 

PRONOUNS 

Heads up, the host is the one typing this section. I’ve gotten a few questions so I’m going to explain my pronouns. Why she/they?

I’m AFAB, thus female pronouns. However (and as far as I can tell this is quite common among AFAB autistics), I feel a disconnect from gender. That’s the easiest way to phrase it. I frankly don’t feel the need to identify with anything and in a way, I’m just a voice occupying a human body. They/them fits me very well and I’m very comfortable with those pronouns, especially because of the way my mind is wired. Honestly, use he/him on me and I won’t really care either. I might be like “hm?” for a moment but it doesn’t bother me. I present very female but t-shirt and jeans > blouses and skirts and dresses and all of that. It’s more of a practicality thing and I grew up wearing my brother’s old clothes a lot.

Why not just use female pronouns then? I’m okay with wearing skirts sometimes, growing my hair out. And then my body does biologically female things and nope, not good. Anxiety inducing, feels wrong. Maybe part of it is that I have an alter whose main pronouns are he/him. He recently nicknamed himself Outspaced, if you’re wondering, thus the name. He’s the one who games, who sits behind the screen when I write fanfiction sometimes. Sounds weird but that’s when I feel him fronting more. Actually, I only started acknowledging him recently so I’m still figuring things out.

Besides, I’m comfortable with she/they and I think I should use what I’m comfortable with. They just click with me but if you use he/him for some reason, I won’t bite. I just don’t really care.

A GLIMPSE INTO THE SYSTEM

When someone pissed off the host and A is having a RSD-induced breakdown and K is ready to set someone on fire with the help of the lowkey persecutor and you’re just that chill guy who sits back and would normally remind them that now is your time to take over and game but this time its serious

Also: when the system accidentally clicks on a pop up link when the age regressed one or me is fronting... Suddenly I want to die inside. I am highly sex repulsed. The others in the system are generally indifferent or indifferent-leaning-towards-repulsed but oh ewwww gross so gross I hate it why does the internet do this ew ew ew ew ew

Trying to do something serious and the age regressed one surfaces and goes “lets hang upside down” and when K mentions that we’re doing responsible things right now, she has a meltdown over our crippling fear of growing up

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The Half of It and Racial Passing

There’s an interview with Alice Wu about The Half of It where she says how she talked often with Alexxis Lemire, who played Aster, about racial passing. I think racial passing and the broader idea of pretending, plays an important role in the movie. (*Disclaimer: while I’m a woc, I am not white passing. These are simply my thoughts about how this topic was presented in the movie. Please let me know if/ how I can be better and more sensitive in expressing my thoughts about this.)

So for passing in The Half of It: Aster is able to “blend in” with the popular crowd at the Squahamish high school. She’s on the “peak of Mount Popularity” according to Ellie, her boyfriend’s the definition of an old, rich family that owns the town, and she has a social group that appears to be well-liked overall. This falls right along with the common coming of age trope of the “popular kids”, except Aster is… Not perfect. She tries hard and wears what the other girls want her to wear (the identical scarf), and she can look “them” enough to pass through high school without social osctracization. However, even the popular girls know of Aster’s “otherness”, and Aster and her family’s identity outside of school. Aster’s family isn’t rich, and she even works in the restaurant as a waitress. The other girls mock Aster behind her back, and basically complain of how she’s climbing the social ladder by dating Trig. Yet, these girls don’t know that without this, Aster would be even more of an “other”. This is similar to the idea of racial passing; maybe the outside appearance can be manipulated enough to fit in with the majority crowd, but the fact that you are not them is a constant… fear. I think this is also why Aster’s family (her father especially) is so harsh on Aster’s appearance. Afterall, minorities live on a thin-line when they have to pretend to be white or close to white, because otherwise their entire lives can be placed in jeopardy. Sometimes this is privilege, sometimes it’s not privilege, and I think that makes the conversation between Aster and Ellie about fitting in particularly interesting. Ellie cannot pass for white, and she’s an outcast. Aster both wishes she was Ellie, but at the same time, I think she is also afraid that she could also fall from the social hierarhcy too. I wonder if this is a common struggle that POC who are white-passing have…? I find it an interesting topic and surprisingly untalked about in coming of age films where the idea of fitting in vs. standing on your own are so common (cynicism says it’s because we lack POC stories but that’s a different post). Anyway, I’m glad that at least Alexxis Lemire was able to act out this aspect of the movie, and allow viewers to think about it in this light.

Link to the interview with Alice Wu: https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2020/05/01/848853718/what-alice-wu-wants-to-say-in-the-half-of-it

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Analysis: Hot Springs Scene

Before I begin, this isn’t a full analysis, just something that jumped to my mind. 

Aster asking Ellie is she’s wearing she’s wearing has more implications that you think. It’s evidence that the water is see-through on some level, as Aster turned around until Ellie was in the water, so she wouldn’t know about this beforehand. If you read the script of The Half Of It, Aster-- bear with me-- is said to be completely naked. You can gay panic now. 

Wait, you say, where did it say she’s naked? When the girls first arrive at the springs, “Aster strips down and dives in.” That’s not nearly enough proof because you can strip down to a certain level but then, when Aster goes to get the radio, it says “Then suddenly she hauls her body - naked - out of the spring.” She’s definitely naked here. The script also says that “Ellie averts her eyes wildly.” I mean, if I was in a hot spring with a girl I liked and we’ve barely even talked before but she brings me to her secret place where nobody else has been and she happens to not be wearing any clothes, yes I would be full blown gay panicking. Completely valid response from Ellie here.

Throw in the fact that the water is pretty clear. Dear god.

Fun fact, when Aster approaches Ellie after the “You know what is silly?” she has full intention to pants her. The exact direction is “Aster wades slowly toward Ellie... removes her glasses... Then PANTSES her. They tussle. Shrieking. Laughing.” Despite this being pretty heart-attack-inducing, it says that later on “Heads together in the center of the hole, floating, staring into the sky. Ellie more relaxed than we’ve ever seen her.”

Ellie and Aster have a very real connection that goes past Ellie’s romantic feelings and Aster’s curiosity. They click together in a way that’s extremely hard to find and it’s beautiful.

I like to think that Aster wasn’t just curious when it came to Ellie. She was also starting to develop feelings for her, whether she knew it or not. It’s a very subtle thing but that’s what makes Aster unbearably curious and able to open herself up to Ellie so readily. She doesn’t know what she’s feeling either but she acted on an impulse and she and Ellie connected.

That’s it for my partial analysis of the hot springs scene (there’s more to talk about!). If you’d like more analysis, just drop me a message and respond to this or something, I’ll see it. 

When Aster kisses Paul that night, it’s to ground herself. I can elaborate more on this but I feel that it deserves a separate post from this. The thing about The Half Of It is that it is very, very well written with many layers to it and while it can enjoyed on the surface level, peeling it back and understanding what goes through the different characters heads also has its own form of beauty. Thank you, Alice, for gifting us with this.

Note that this is a secondary blog and I can only answer you via dms, asks or reblogs :)

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enchanted

well what can i say but spoilers for my own fic?

Yes, Ellie’s backstory just became a roller coaster

If you missed it, her dad’s from Suzhou, mom from Malaysia. Adopted from Malaysia, moved to Suzhou, moved to Seattle at 11 because her mother was very sick, moved to Squahamish at 13 and kept her head down. her dialect name here is Ai Leih, chinese name is 楚瑷莉 (chu ai li)

I am chinese, the spanish however, is mostly translated because i never learned formally

Aster’s family never moved from Sacramento

It’s a college AU and THEY WERE ROOMMATES

wow I actually write in something other than present tense

Ellie is autistic-coded. It was a conscious choice. how many of you caught the giveaway line?

Ellie also has a little of my music taste. lo-fi, dream-pop was definitely not girl in red but I figured that would be a big giveaway

I have yet to attend college, no idea what it’s like but based on the research done,  the internet now thinks im about to apply to grinnell (ngl looks like a nice place)

ellie watched nancy drew??? absolutely. thanks ace for his platanchor

both ellie and aster are slightly ooc but im trying

will i manage to slow burn to 60k or will I cave? who knows

paul is an auto caps guy, ellie is not

in fact, ellie texts a little like me lmao

[outspaced-writes]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: The Half of It (2020) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Ellie Chu/Aster Flores, Ellie Chu & Aster Flores, Ellie Chu & Paul Munsky, Edwin Chu & Ellie Chu Characters: Ellie Chu, Aster Flores, Paul Munsky, Edwin Chu Additional Tags: Rewrite, Outspaced attempts to write, Not Canon Compliant, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Slow Burn Summary:

"All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you."

Ellie Chu grew up in Suzhou, China. Her family came to America to seek treatments for her mother's illness, and when the world came crashing down, Edwin Chu decided he needed a break from the city life, moving to small-town Squahamish. She kept to herself, never letting anyone get close. Aster Flores's family never left Sacramento. Aster, herself, never planned to leave. The fear of God and the fear of what was out that had been implanted into her since she was little and that wasn't going to change. College rolled around and she found herself on an unexpectedly full ride in Iowa.

In other words: Ellie and Aster never met till college and they were roommates! rating subject to change if anything changes although I don't see that it will.

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Do you accept prompts? If the answer is positive: Aster after the church scene having a fight with her dad and going to sleep in her car. Ellie finds her when she goes on a station shift. Aster is asleep in the cold in the middle of the night, glasses on her face (Ellie didn't even know she wore glasses) but E thinks A is still mad so she doesn't do much and thinks maybe it was just an one time thing, but when it repeats E starts to leave food and blankets and always along with a letter.

I love this idea!!!! I can’t give you an exact date of when it’ll be written but I’m excited to write this. Feel free to message me as well if you because damn this is such a good idea! Thank you so much!! :D was my exact face when I read this heheh

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200k is a lot for a student whose yet to go to college (so think 200k with research and it wouldnt just be slow burn but possibly slow update because student) but hey drop me a message and maybe. not that my writing is any good but im pretty materialistic since i dont have income

can someone please write a slow-burn fic of ellie and aster in college? 200k words? no? i'll pay $50, i have savings.

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The Half Of It in a nutshell

Aster: the writer of this letter doesn’t sound like other boys, imma give him a shot

Ellie: is not a boy

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do you take requests?

YES! feel free to drop me a message. I'm glad you think I'm good enough to do requests. No guarantee but I might take some inspiration 

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Words give you a glimpse into one’s mind. In The Half Of It (2020) dir. Alice Wu, Ellie Chu and Aster Flores have a relationship built on words, which sets them apart from the other characters. They both find solace in reading and quote lines at each other. What made Aster decide to give Paul a chance was how she believed she had seen his mind and his heart and she wanted to see more. What she had seen belonged to Ellie, not Paul. In this essay I will

Love is being willing to ruin your good painting for the chance at a great one. 

THE HALF OF IT (2020) dir. Alice Wu