poetry-by-jace - Tumblr blog

[poetry-by-jace]

Things are over now. We can move on with our lives. We exist only in a story told about the past. I loved you. I loved you so much that I never thought I’d be okay without you. I thought I’d rather die than be alone. It just goes to show that someone leaving is not the end of the world. One door closes, another opens. You fall in love, you fall out. You learn to love what was left behind for you. This is the end, yes, but it is also the beginning.

[poetry-by-jace]

I felt lighter. Some days it felt like I was walking on air - others were heavier. This is it though, this is letting go. Moving forward wasn’t linear. Thoughts of you and I would still slip into my mind, but now, it wasn’t overwhelming. I began to understand that even if I loved you - I would be okay without you.

[poetry-by-jace]

It’s that sinking feeling - it’s blurry, it’s overwhelming, it’s sickening. You tell yourself you never would let anyone make you feel like this, but here you are again. It’s self hate, it’s disappointment, it’s everything all mixed together and it hits you all at once. You don’t want to feel it, but you’re awfully good at letting yourself drown in it.

[poetry-by-jace]

somebody just validate my asexuality for once :,D

why do i feel like a poser just because i've had sex before

[poetry-by-jace]

Do it coward. Scream. It's free and no one can stop you.

[poetry-by-jace]

do u ever wonder if people wonder about you? like maybe they saw something today that reminded them of u. or they heard ur name , or they just really miss u or ur voice. i just wonder who wonders about me

[poetry-by-jace]

You make me reckless.

This isn’t your fault of course, I am just a newly sober person who can’t control himself around certain people just yet. 

When I look at you, I see chaos. And recklessness. And even a little hate towards myself.

I don’t like who I am around you, but you are so fucking enticing to be with anyway. 

I am not the same person that I was all those months ago, and I don’t think you realize that yet. When I am with you, I cover my sober self with this past facade I would always have last year. I need to distance myself from you to keep myself safe. 

But how? 

what the fuck man

[poetry-by-jace]

“Deer in the Headlights”

[poetry-by-jace]

“Ignorance”

[poetry-by-jace]

“Inverse”

[poetry-by-jace]

Was I discovered or invented? asks the zero./ Feels like I’ve always been here. I put a line around his border/ but he still wasn’t there. A hole in the world. A failure./ I turned away. You start counting at one, not zero,/ which is wrong, says the moon. Thing or nothing,// Where or nowhere. Measure yourself against the truth and/ not the other way round, says the ghost. Man, moon,/ ghost, zero— naming rounds off. Perfect and/ completely dead. Your math is crazy, says the moon./ You can count to eight with the space between your // fingers, says the ghost. Richard Siken “War of the Foxes”

[poetry-by-jace]

“you do not need to explain your decisions to anybody if you don’t feel comfortable doing so”

— Unknown

[poetry-by-jace]

And if you don't believe that, you still have a lot to unlearn.

[poetry-by-jace]

Rainy Edinburgh, Scotland <3

[poetry-by-jace]

Land of the Free- Slam Poetry

America welcomes you!

Claiming it is the most powerful, most fair,

The greatest country there’s ever been.

The entire idea of the U.S.A. is that it’s free,

And it certainly is.

America feels free to

Welcome people of all status, from all countries, while simultaneously bashing them for the culture they brought, and the skin color they wear.

America feels free to

Preach that anyone can love whoever they choose, while holding anti-lgbt marches and allowing some of their states to try conversion therapy on people who are commiting the retchous sin that is being in love with someone of the wrong gender.

America feels free to convict one person for just possessing a debatably harmless drug, while at the same time electing rapists and pedophiles for mayor, governor, for president, instead of convicting them instead.

America feels free to

Claim that it’s people will help bring you up, instead of tear you down, when everyone is fighting against each other every day and every night, like two waves colliding, destroying itself.

So, America is free.

A free for all, full of fighting, falling, for this is what America is.

Free to hate, free to fight, free to live in ignorance.

[poetry-by-jace]

September 2nd- A Diary Entry.

at the beginning of this school year, all up until now, i figured that in a manic episode i would get everything done. The whole summer i’ve been here, being so productive (on top of not sleeping, doing completely irrational and dangerous things), i figured that the school year would be easy.

Assigned Tuesday. Due Thursday.

I had two project presentations due today, which i find both unfair to the students and irrational. There’s been just over a week of school and they are loading us with more than we can carry.

Then, my usual crash came. I decided that there were more important things to do than do these projects, instead writing slam poetry that i will never read out loud and face-timing my ex.

And i know that this is the best it will get. Because once I hit a depressive episode, I won’t do anything. No work, no school, no friends.

This is the best it will get.

[poetry-by-jace]

it’s like as soon as I got past the thought of you, everything came rushing back. And now here you are and here I am and here we are again. And it’s back to the way it used to be- except you let me go to sleep now and don’t do the things you used to do that made me despise the thought of both you and me. And it’s better. I’m better now so we’re better now. I cant help but be terrified of the thought that it will all go back; go back to you not letting me sleep until the early hours of the next morning, the guilt tripping when I did anything that included not talking to you at any given time.

Am I free with you now, or am I trapped again?