redheartedtramp

[redheartedtramp]

Ruby: *busts out the guitar and starts shredding* I! DIG! GIANT ROBOTS!

Penny: ...Say less.

Penny: What is the point of becoming a giant robot if nobody wishes to fight me?

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Ruby: Heeey, Whitley~! Sweetheart, Honey Bun, Sugar Plum-

Whitley: You're using a lot of pet names. What did you do?

Ruby: I... kinda bought something.

Whitley: Of course you did. Well, is there any debt attached to it? Or is this a purchase that will accrue in time, like you were scammed?

Ruby: First of all, no. Second of all, no. And last of all, rude~! No, I just bought something that I can hold in my hands and I thought it would look nice in the house... Y'know, if you're okay with it.

Whitley: Well, what is it?

Ruby: Oh, it's just a little thing that can sit in the corner or off to the side. It's great for party guests and it could even make the house more fun! Could be just what this place needs~!

Whitley: The more you hype up this "product", the more suspicious I get. What is it?

Ruby: Uh... T-Ta-da~!

Whitley: An arcade cabinet? Not what I was expecting, but I can't say I'm surprised, either.

Ruby: Pretty neat, huh~?

Whitley: Well, I can see the appeal for party guests. What influenced you to make this purchase?

Ruby: Well, it was on sale, and these things are kinda rare these days, and I thought it would look great in a house with so much space, and...

Whitley: ...And?

Ruby: It reminded me of something I used to play back when my mom was alive. I think it's something of a nostalgia trip for me.

Whitley: I believe this is something your sister refers to as "a blast from your past"?

Ruby: Y-Yeah...

Whitley: ...So how do you play?

Ruby: What, right now? I thought there were still boxes to unpack?

Whitley: There's nothing wrong with taking a break. Especially when I have the opportunity to finally show you up and actually win for once~.

Ruby: Oho~! Those are fighting words if ever I heard 'em~! YOU'RE ON~!

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Scene: Team JNPR are walking to Beacon like any normal day.

Nora: And then I said 'spreader? I hardly know her'!

Ren: ...Then the Blacksmith kicked us out and we had to learn how to fix our weapons ourselves.

Pyrrha: Was it...worth it?

Nora/Ren: Yes!/Absolutely.

Jaune: Well at least you both agree...

"JAUNE CAESAR ARC!!!"

Team JNPR pause to see a young woman with blonde hair and a headband standing on the top step of the school, wearing a primarily blue outfit, with a large suitcase clutched in her fist.

Jaune: S-SYLVIA?!

Nora: Oh my Gods, it's Sylvia?!

Nora: (Pssst! Ren! Who is Sylvia?)

Ren: (She's one of Jaune's sisters. She was the one in green.)

Nora: (Oh, right, right.)

Jaune: *pales* W-what are you doing here...?

Team JNPR watches as Sylvia jumps from the top step all the way down to the ground level Team JNRP is on. She then stands to her full height - which isn't tall enough to look Jaune in the eye.

Sylvia: I came for what's mine; Crocea Mors belongs to me!

Nora: Gasp!

Pyrrha: W-what?

Jaune: Er...well, technically that's not true...I mean, it wasn't GIVEN to me, but it wasn't given to YOU either!

Nora: Wait, your middle name is Caesar...?

Sylvia: True, but I'm coming to Beacon next semester and I don't know how mom or dad let YOU have the sword when you didn't even go to a combat school!

Ren/Nora: He didn't?

Jaune: *coughs into fist* Er, well, n-nor formally, n-no...

Pyrrha: Regardless of how Jaune has the sword, the fact that Mr. & Mrs. Arc haven't come for it must mean they approve of it being in Jaune's possession. So I'm afraid you have no claim to it.

Jaune: Uh, y-yeah!

Sylvia: Look lady, this is a family matter. So unless Jaune also got married behind my back, this doesn't involve you. And in this family, if two Arcs don't agree, then there's only one way to settle things.

Nora: Pancake Eating Contest?!

Sylvia: Single Combat!

Jaune: ...Uh, I'm not going to fight my little sister. E-especially when she's unarmed.

Sylvia: Ha! Guess again, numb nuts! *sets down her suitcase and opens it. After spending a few seconds putting it together, Sylvia is now holding a comically large, hulking sword with both hands*

Sylvia: Let me introduce myself properly; my name is Sylvia Anne Arc. And this is Siegfried! *points sword at Jaune* Now draw your sword one final time!

Nora: ...Jaune, your sister is so anime.

Jaune: *sighs* Yeah...I know...

[redheartedtramp]

[redheartedtramp]

Wow...I actually forgot Cardin and Russel were characters for a hot minute. XD

Hello, to anyone out there.

I'm open for commissions.

And at the time of me posting this, I'm desperate in need of help.

So don't be sure and please, step right up! Hit me with a direct message if there's anything I can do! Your wish is hopefully another day for me to keep me and my family's head from being homeless!

[redheartedtramp]

Ruby: Yeah, I like to live dangerously.

Ruby: *drives under the Thwomps on Rainbow Road*

Ruby: I'm a real dare devil~

[redheartedtramp]

And it's announced in Pride Month.

This was intentional. :P 100/10 marketing. No Straight Roads indeed.

EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP

NO STRAIGHT ROADS 2 IS REEAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!

[redheartedtramp]

you punch nazis!

(requested by anonymous)

[redheartedtramp]

Slushi: So, you're just...here indefinitely? Like, your boss decided you're just going to be here now?

Iscream: Yup~ Why~? Does it scare you~?

Slushi: No. it...

Slushi: ...Well, yes, a little bit actually.

Slushi: But no. I mean...you are kind of banished, aren't you? Like, you can never go home. That's kind of sad.

Iscream: ...Oh, you're right. It's awful. Terrible in fact. I can never return to my home.

Slushi: I'm sorry, Iscream. I-

Iscream: My home in the coldest corner of the endless darkness.

Slushi: ...I...?

Iscream: Now I have no job or responsibilities. All I can do now is hang out with my friends ALL DAY now~

Slushi: Oh.

Iscream: And I get to live with my S E X Y ~ dragon friend now. Oh, and since I'm no longer working for my Overlord, that means I don't have to worry about the inevitable battle of good & evil and having to fight my beloved partner.

Slushi: I get it.

Iscream: No, no no. You're right. Everything sucks now. Boo. Boo-hoo~ I deserve to play the world's smallest violin~

Slushi: Please stop.

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Taiyang: So, how's that threesome going?

Yang: *spits out her drink & doubles over laughing*

Ruby: DAD, STOP CALLING IT A THREESOME! IT'S A 'THROUPLE'!

Yang: Dad, PLEASE tell me you've been telling EVERYONE Ruby, Weiss, and Penny are in a threesome!

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*Scene: Chibi!Ruby wakes up. She's inside s jar.*

Chibi!Ruby: Huh?! O-o-oh GODS! NO! NOI NOOOOOOO!!!!

Chibi!Ruby: Really?! You're really gonna do this to me?!

Chibi!Ruby: You spent $40 for this figurine of me and you're gonna put me in the jar?! Come on, guys!

Chibi!Ruby: ...

Chibi!Ruby: I'm really scared! And-

*Chibi!Ruby sees a jar of mayo*

Chibi!Ruby: ...What is that?

Chibi!Ruby: ...That's regular mayo, right?

...

Chibi!Ruby: It's REGULAR MAYO, right?!

[redheartedtramp]

Oh. I legit forgot that.

Didn't Yang call her shy, or am I misremembering? I legit don't remember. Cause that's what always gave me the idea that Ruby had no friends in Signal too.

Jaune: You know, I'm glad to have someone whose just as much of an outcast as me.

Ruby: ... What d'ya mean?

Jaune: You're the first real friend I've had in a while. All through school I was alone, and I'm glad that I've found someone who's like me in that regard.

Ruby, who had her own gaggle of fellow-weapon heads in Signal: Haha Yeah ...

This is just a personal headcanon of mine; Ruby was just a Fish out of Water at Beacon because she graduated past her peers at Signal. It's hard to make friends out of the blue man. Changing schools is rough if you don't know anyone there.

[redheartedtramp]

Why would people rewrite RWBY with Jaune as the main character? He already is.

Confession #810

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Ruby: Did you know that 1 in 3 women are gay?

Weiss: Well, I'm not gay.

Ruby: Me neither.

Penny: *walks by*

Ruby/Weiss: ...

Weiss: *Is Bisexual* I hope it's her.

Ruby: *is Pansexual* Yeah, she's cute.

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Ruby: Ow. Ow. OW. OW!

Weiss: Well sorry for not being a proper field nurse, Ruby. I'm doing my best here!

Scene: Weiss is dressing Ruby's leg after she got shot through it.

Weiss: If you were out of aura, then why didn't you fall back?! You're lucky this is the worst you got!

Ruby: I had to protect the world.

Weiss: Ruby, enough with this chosen one bullshit!

Ruby: No, Weiss. *grabs Weiss' hand* You. You are my world.

Weiss: Ruby...

...

Ruby: Ow. Ow. OW. OW!

Scene: Weiss is now spanking Ruby

Weiss: Do. Not. Be. A. Martyr. Dying. Is. Not. A. Love. Language!

[redheartedtramp]

Blake: But mom! We're adults now!

Kali: Yes, you air. And adults should be practicing safe sex in a bed that ISN'T MINE!

Yang: (Why is this so hot?!)

Hello, to anyone out there.

I'm open for commissions.

And at the time of me posting this, I'm desperate in need of help.

So don't be sure and please, step right up! Hit me with a direct message if there's anything I can do! Your wish is hopefully another day for me to keep me and my family's head from being homeless!