rescueawhisper

[rescueawhisper]

The prosperity gospel has exploded in popularity among many Christians Perhaps more fittingly known as the gospel of success where God rewards faith with health and wealth. If you open the Bible and read in context you'll quickly realize that this is FAR from the gospel. Christians aren't to believe in God as a genie to carry out whatever he or she desires but we draw closer to God to understand what He desires for us. The Scripture clearly lays out: For the LOVE of money, (not money, but the love of money) is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. (1 Timonthy 6:10) It's evident to see how this gospel prosperity contradicts this passage here. And this is only one passage out of many. The Prosperity Gospel seems to be birthed from what is mentioned above when Paul declares: I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. This passage gets twisted in so many different ways but when placed in the correct context, it's difficult to make it fit the Prosperity Gospel at all. #poetry #poets #spokenword #Christian #Christianwoman #Christianpoet #ChristianInspiration #art #poetsofinstragram #emergingpoet #wordofgod #misconception #spilledpoetry #poetrycommunity #christianity

[rescueawhisper]

This isn’t about the two other characters being at fault. This isn’t about who is right and who is wrong. This isn’t about who is to blame. This is about understanding that sometimes people need time to recover and that is okay. This is about being there to listen to someone as they are crying out in devastation and pain. Yes, it may sound as though the individual is angry and may very well be inclined to act out irrationally and the only way to fight this isn’t by telling them to get a grip or get over it. They WANT to get over it. They WANT to move past this feeling of pain and distrust. It also isn’t very effective to tell them that they’re a hundred percent right and forget those people that have hurt them, no. That isn’t the right approach either. They may not be right but they ARE entitled to their emotions. They ARE entitled to go through the healing process, to the growth process. DO NOT take that away from them.

[rescueawhisper]

There's these expressions that have been going around for awhile now such as: "Forget feelings!" Or "F- feelings!" Or "I hate people" Or "Just do you and forget the rest." And the issue for me is that I once knew how it felt like to be numb especially towards someone I love who has continually hurt me over and over again. It took me years to realize that my emotions weren't the issue and by masking them or by attempting to get rid of them, it only got worse. I may have no longer felt the physical pain but I had felt a new type of pain - a spiritual one. I would watch that individual cry in front of me and I didn't know how to access the emotions I should have felt. It was a terrible state of being. It was as if the life had been sucked out of me. I had previously thought crying was a sign of weakness until I had laid it all out to God. I had an enormous release of emotions and realized that when you hurt - for yourself or for others, you have an option. You could make a change in those around you and be part of the process in healing hearts (including your own) or you could delve deeper into this mindset of numbing out in which you will no longer recognize yourself and no longer have the capability to love.

[rescueawhisper]

A letter to my future daughter. I’ll let this one speak for itself. These are words I believe every daughter should hear. ~ ~ ~ ~

[rescueawhisper]

I've always found people intriguing and lovable despite any characteristics. In those that didn't seem to know how to love themselves, I had been in awe with their complexities. In those that seemed to love themselves so much they didn't have room for anyone else, my interest had always peaked to understand the depth they truly possess beyond the surface level. Every individual is compiled of billions of different moments that form together and create the endless discussion of who they are. However, many of times I've heard an individual proclaim: "My life is boring! There's nothing interesting to see." And yet, their very thoughts and commentary that play on the scenarios around them are fascinating. This, in of itself, is much more valuable than an exciting atmosphere that goes unappreciated, unnoticed, and unevaluated. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ IG: https://www.instagram.com/rescueawhisper/

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[rescueawhisper]

As I began contemplating on the poetry that has meant the most to me, it has evolved through the years. When I was younger, the poems that were chaotic and a little unsettling had been my cup of tea that got me through the most tense times of my life. Romantic poems were never truly romantic and thus didn’t mean too much. However, once I met Victor, my poetry reached another level of wanderlust and beauty. Here’s an excerpt of the book I’d made Victor for our anniversary. IG: https://www.instagram.com/rescueawhisper/

[rescueawhisper]

I don’t typically write pieces like this but I really wanted to create a piece that shed awareness on domestic violence and the vicious cycle of abuse. From watching loved ones, I know that it isn’t always easy to walk away. The love for the person takes over and they may seem so sincerely sorry that the sweetness and purity in the victim’s heart take over. This piece is all over the place and mostly I created it a little uncomfortable and awkward for emphasis. If you know someone that is going through this, do not judge them. Talk it through with them. Tell them that this isn’t what love looks like and build up their confidence but do not talk down on them as being weak or as being wrong for loving as hard as they do. Be there for them, concerned and filled with love. IG: https://www.instagram.com/rescueawhisper/

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[rescueawhisper]

I’ve been defeated in my temptation to toss away many journals, poems & drawings - for what? This is what I constantly wonder. They say madness is making the same mistake over and over and yet I continue to allow traces of my past slip through my fingertips.

IG: https://www.instagram.com/rescueawhisper/

Tumblr: http://rescueawhisper.tumblr.com/

[rescueawhisper]

For a long period of my life, I had pushed many people away once they had come too close. I’d too many conflicts surrounding me & the healing I had was my faith, my poetry, my dance & my art. To add a relationship into the picture would rise complications. I was never the type that ran to people for healing. People would describe me as easy-going, light & happy. And I felt so sincerely blessed and grateful as well. But once they’d begin to know more layers of my past and what has shaped me to becoming who I am, they’d become attached in a way that I could never become. They had this notion that I needed to be healed that I needed a fire extinguisher. But I turned to my faith for that. I hurt so many people because of expectations that I had never tried to give off being that I was upfront. But guys had always loved a challenge. I began to feel as though I was wrong & just ended things before anything could begin. It was lonely but it was better than hurting anyone. 

Then I met a guy who didn’t try to save me & our relationship of 6 years was easygoing, fun & sweet. However, there was still an integral part of myself that I felt as though he would never be able to understand. And we had hindered each other from growth due to comfort. I prayed about it and we fought for us but it seemed as though all of the signs had pointed for our ending. And it was okay.

Then, I had stumbled across a hazel eyed boy with an ease that had allowed me to simply be myself. I felt free to tell him things I could never tell anyone else. Our stories were mirrored, even our struggles. We recognized ourselves in one another & I couldn’t be more grateful I hadn’t let those people in bc it would’ve done more damage. So if you are in the same situation, it isn’t you. If you have been heartbroken, it isn’t you. The connection should be mutual or it’s unfair for both parities. Relationships should never be forced, painful or tense.

IG: https://www.instagram.com/rescueawhisper/

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[rescueawhisper]

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[rescueawhisper]

Stop the labels. It seems to be doing more harm by bringing along judgments and division rather than inclusion and support. So stop the labels. The labels will fool you. They will trap you into a harmful way of thinking which will then affect the way you respond to others. Please. Instead, listen to each individual story instead of generalizing. Each story is unique, each human being is unique as well. Don’t label them as if that’s who they are. It isn’t WHO they are. Depressed is not their name. It is a temporary stay of a guest. And at least that guest is listening when nobody else seems to be. So please, listen and that may be all that individual needs for solace and comfort.

IG: https://www.instagram.com/rescueawhisper/

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[rescueawhisper]

Sometimes we lose people in our lives not because their physical presence has left but because the lights that once have filled their eyes have diminished - because they are no longer recognizable because the laughter that had radiated from their hearts are nowhere to be felt.

IG: www.instagram.com/rescueawhisper/

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[rescueawhisper]

The Crystal in the Sky

As my gaze was fixed on that sparkling crystal in the sky, my consciousness flooded with gratitude and I simply froze in time. I could only barely make out the beaming crosshairs and could not fathom the distance ahead. Such a peculiar marvel. Our spherical landscape's inherent design prevents what lies far below, and then above, to be seen. Quite easily labeled flawed, maybe instead an opportunity to gaze at the chandelier above. To rave in their distances, to know that although you'll never reach them in this lifetime, there is hope for their hyperbolic vastness to be a symbol for the limitlessness that awaits you. - V.

[rescueawhisper]

Storms We Can’t Forget

Artists - once life tosses us storms or rainbows, we conjure up all of the painful, beautiful, noisy, distracting emotions and then concentrate it into a piece of art. We take pride and we feel strong gratitude at our ability of transforming the ugly into beauty. But the thing about artists is that after they have tied all of their lightening and thunder into a pretty little bow to display, they are still left with all of the memories. I guess what I am trying to say is that artists never forget. Throughout the scraps of unfinished artwork and pages of madness, on the side of our math notebook in small drawings or side notes, in the corner of our shoe boxes filled with shoes we barely wear, on the very top of our closet where nobody can reach, underneath our mattresses, in the most arcane of places, in the most plainly in sight places you will find all of us. All of our memories. Random conversations we knew we’d forget someday but never wanted to, moments that meant everything to us, moments that meant heartbreak to us, moments that meant plain boredom and the cringing of our hands from being deprived of a pen for more than 10 hours, you will find all of us. We discover ourselves everyday, within all of the corners of our bedrooms and anywhere we have ever set foot. And it forces us back to those storms and the rainbows that we can never forget. 

-Christabelle Contreras

[rescueawhisper]

I don’t draw nearly as much as I’d like to. My journal has anywhere between random facts, biographies, poetry, letters, apologetics, affirmations, and personal research projects. Many of them go unfinished so I leave an extra page. I decided to fill in these pages with drawings that match whatever topic I had chosen. I made peace with allowing those entries to be left unfinished and realized that sometimes life it just like that. Expectations, relationships, experiences are left unfinished. And there’s not a thing you can do about it. Maybe you had once wished some part of your life would either continue forever or at the very least, you’d get the proper satisfactory closing. But you didn’t and you couldn’t make it happen. And sometimes, that is perfectly fine. You can fill in those empty spaces with art and drawings, transform the experience for good, not for defeat. ✨

[rescueawhisper]

Confessions: My Heart & My Sanity

This post may be offensive to some and if so, I apologize. Hear me out.

I was but a small six or seven year old when I had my first encounter with God. I was talking to the arbitrary man in the sky just as my parents had taught me to pray. Afterwards, I fell into the most vivid dream of my lifetime. I had entered a prayer room that held a statue of Jesus in some church filled with many others. Once everyone had left and it was my turn to write a prayer request, the statue had come to life. It wasn’t a surprise, it felt very natural. We immediately began engaging in conversation, joking and laughing throughout the night. It was pure and genuine. In that moment, I had realized that he wasn't some arbitrary concept of a man in the sky but he was real. The door began to open and the statue had turned to solid once again, but out from the statue came a piece of paper where the same prayer I had prayed that night had extracted outward. I smiled. It was as if He was telling me that He hears my prayers, that he was always present and even when the world gets very loud, he's still listening and very much real.

I have always been a skeptic. So I've been through the searching and questioning my sanity, whether every spiritual experience I've had were authentic though at the moment were very real. I've endured my countless questions burying me in confusion and circles. I had to step down from the opportunity and honor of being a youth leader at my church because of my questions. I've searched for evidence for God and Jesus’ life and biblical accuracy. I've looked into other religions and have heavily studied apologetics - but that conversation isn't for this post.

From a young age he began using me, shaping me, breaking me down to mold me. He's used me to reach out to a multitude of people, the hurt, the healing, the intellects, the confused and the downright angry and intolerant. Many occasions he's urged me to approach normally blurry backdrop of strangers on the street in the most arcane of places as I've witnessed Him speaking and acting through me. Every single time afterwards, I'd be stunned in awe and wonder, in a daze that would take me awhile to recover. I knew that it couldn't have been me speaking. I'd look up at Him and feel Him wink down at me as I'd laugh in disbelieving belief.

The years were also accompanied with many really dark nights, painful and difficult occurrences. I've been through days of hunger and financial hardship which was accompanied with people commenting on my body. I've been through days of utmost abuse in every sense in which I'd respond with love and empathy which was accompanied with a myriad of judgements for being unreal or holding things in or being weak for not retaliating. It was never the case. I’ve been hit by others spreading lies about me for unknown reasons. I’ve had nights of not knowing where I would sleep that night, roaming around with my mom and later on as years went by, I had nights of not knowing where I'd sleep at all. I’ve witnessed many people closest to me call me with a suicide call goodbye or during their stormiest of nights. In other cases, I've been verbally attacked about every ounce of my being, which I try my best to allow my actions speak for itself, allow those to form their own opinions and embed myself in prayer. God has consistently placed sincere forgiveness, conviction, and understanding in my heart.

At such a young age and ever since, individuals (both acquaintances and those closest to me) have believed my life to be close to perfect and careless because I seldom complain or share, so they take what they hear from others and believe me to be spoiled and arrogant. They don't know the pain I've taken nor the overflowing love I have for them and others. I've shared with only a select few and some random strangers to share my story and display everything God has taken me through and the ways he's shaped and molded me. I am so beyond grateful for all of the hardships because of where it's led me to and because it's allowed me to develop my character and continue to every day.

Throughout the abuse and misunderstandings, He has always made his presence very clear. He'd share with me the love He has for those around me even those who'd hurt me. He would reveal to me the misdirection and the pain within them. He’d challenge my faithfulness and my willingness to non conformity and staying true to my values when everyone else remains contrary. He’s challenged me to be consistent and firm in my declarations and values but to keep an open mind in other manners. He’s challenged me to use my tongue wisely and try my best to never leave anyone astray. My advice to many have been offensive as I’ve always shared an objective opinion, but nonetheless, it’s always been routed in love and understanding. One of the greatest blessings he's given me is the empathy to understand and love everyone despite their decisions and objectivity.

Jesus had many opportunities to dismiss the cross, preventing himself from being executed. He could've easily stopped teaching and dropped it all when the officials were interrogating Him. But he didn't. Some people would call that unwise, as people tend to look out for themselves in a basis of survival. It's all about gathering resources and ensuring we have enough for ourselves that it has stopped being about God. Jesus, instead, trusted that God had something greater in store for Him and that all of the pain that has been caused in minuscule in comparison to eternity with God and God's plan.

Jesus healed, he displayed utmost empathy teaching to love your enemies during a time frame that the sentiment was never even thought of. But during his exchanges with those who'd opposed and abused Him, he had displayed love. He also displayed wisdom. He did not speak when he didn't deem it necessary nor did he get defensive when interrogated. Instead, He spoke seldom in those moments but once He did speak, He spoke truth and never held back. Jesus wasn't a coward, He showed utmost strength in trusting in God throughout severe external hardships. He wasn't victimized nor inferior to others who'd abused him with words and spikes and whips and the cross, no. He held his groundings, he held the truth and displayed love, empathy and strength. I cannot even imagine the amount of pain and love in His heart.

I desire to be this way. I desire to display these same sentiments wherever I place foot because I was given so much more than anything I could ever give. This is why under so much physical pain, abuse, or any unfortunate external conditions, nobody will hear me complain about it. It isn't because I want to hide or hold it in, as some people adamantly believe it to be, but because I remain in awe and gratitude for all God has done for me.

Though I can be under such scrutiny at times with people not knowing what to think of me, or deeming me unwise or unreal, I remain silent. I can only hope my actions will eventually speak for itself. But I do know, some people will never understand the “decisions I've made” because it contradicts worldly sentiments of survival of the fittest.. My only decision is to trust in God as I pray deeply before any decision and he always leads me His way. Sometimes I don't understand. Many times I didn't understand at all. Many times I also went my own direction that didn't work and eventually changed to His original plan if I'm being honest. After high school, I had received a full scholarship to attend a four year college immediately. After praying about which school I should attend, I began getting a consistent answer that it was not the time to attend a four year yet. I didn’t know what it was and it went contrary to everything I had planned. I continued with my original plan and last minute as my conviction grew stronger, I needed to cut off my attendance. It led to so much uproar and anger. “You’re spoiled” “Some people would die for this opportunity” “You’re making a horrible decision” It even resulted to my parents almost practically disowning me (which I couldn’t have expected any less. I love them).

 However, as time progressed, I found out that the “full scholarship” wouldn’t have been one after all and would’ve been revoked due to financial complication of my FAFSA and I would’ve been stuck in huge debt. I’ve also witnessed God use me so powerfully to reach out to strangers at my community college in huge ways. I met Victor, who came so unexpectedly and has further aided my faith and my progression every single day. I’ve been exposed to a variety of opportunities only community colleges will give out. I discovered the perfect major and all the path I’d like to take that was contrary to what I was entering the UC with and.. I was able to spend a lot more time and try to develop a plan for my mom who is currently fighting cancer. Also, ensure that my parents will truly be okay and set once I leave. Many people I’ve met that have been through the UC system right after high school and who knows people that went to community first, all tell me the same thing - that attending community first will definitely give me an upper hand and a clear mind. I didn’t understand God and His plan at the time… but I am so utterly grateful.  However, it never failed to have given me back so much more, more than I could ever have thought of. So while the world might deem me unwise, I always go back to “don't not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewal of the mind.”

I am not perfect; I've never claimed to be. I surrender each and every day for God to shape me and mold me. To lead me where he sees fitting. It's led me to so many different directions. I always joke, it's as if I've blinked and my resume was filled up. I have a few stacks of certificates throughout the years my parents have kept. In sophomore year, I was privileged to pass Laws in Daly City and Pacifica for alcohol and drug abuse among youth and within this organization I met a woman I consider a mentor, Mary, who I was able to call during a time of struggle and it was such a blessing as she'd been through the same exact situation but in the opposite perspective, I was lead to intern at Kaiser Permanente where I was privileged to develop strong relationships with the patients and reach out to them along with a few of the physical therapists and my boss. 

God has used me to perform spoken word at multiple open mics speaking out on behalf of social issues such as domestic abuse, mental illness awareness such as depression, binge eating, and PTSD, empathy, and the gospel that goes misconstrued many of times. I always tell my friends and those closest to me, if they ever see me wrapped up in worldly success, correct me and scold me and bring me back. The funny thing is, while many people think me to be ambitious and “success driven,” it’s not true. I’ve never ever had my eyes set on money or fine quality things or seeking out connections to use - I’ve always simply let go and let God and he’s always led me to so much more. 

I am not looking forward to an amazing job, a great car, a nice house (though all would be nice especially for my parents) but I look forward to eternity of beauty and grace and treasure unfathomable, beyond any here on Earth. I take no credit for anything I’ve experienced or any accomplishment I’ve had. I can only be grateful that God has used me in such ways all of the successes as well as the dark downfalls.

So if you ever wonder what drives me, compels me, or what on earth am I thinking sometimes, there’s your answer. And feel free to ask me, attack me, interrogate me at any time. I’ll be happy to answer.

[rescueawhisper]

Lazarus // Dirty Clothes

3:32 PM

They’re sprawled on the street floors - filthy clothes, garbage bags, dirty food - singing and shouting as bystanders pass with disgust painted on their faces, avoiding contact by all means necessary as if saving themselves from infections. They are called the “homeless,” “gritters,” “strapped,” “hobos,” “bums.” They have felt the true cruelty of humanity - the disappointment that human beings with expensive clothes, nice cars, and clean food can be - yet remain with the brightest smiles I’ve ever witnessed. The sense of community expressed is beyond anything I’ve ever encountered and if you give only but a dollar they’ll return the most priceless gratitude that extends for miles on end. It’s the type of gratitude that evolves into grace itself as they share the little they have with those they see need it. These beautiful souls with tons of authentic human experience will return a never ending smile and countless stories, despite the dirty looks and foul language that get communicated back.  It pains me the way passersbyers will look onto these people with distaste and repulsion based solely on the cleanliness of their clothes, not realizing the necessity there is to look into the cleanliness of their very own hearts. Ironically, while I feel utterly saddened by the external situation these individuals are in, I feel even more saddened by the internal spiritual turmoil, discontentment, and desensitization those that pass them by face everyday.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHTDhJR770w

- Christabelle Contreras