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The first episode of our new series No One Asked But We're Curious, in which Jackie and Steph discuss all the installments of the Fast and the Furious franchise! Join us for a discussion of the movie that started it all, and all the objectification, surprisingly compelling character development, and NOS that came with it.

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Our final episode about Riverdale maybe! Definitely our last episode for this season! Join us for a whirlwind discussion of the last five episodes of the season after we binge-watched them all! Does it make the show more enjoyable? Maybe! Does it make it make more sense? Kinda! Did we like it? Tune in to find out!

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We're a little late but we're finishing up Riverdale! Chapters 53 through 57 coming soon!

Join Jackie and Steph as they discuss this episode that they quite enjoyed, covering everything from their hopes for The Farm to their frustration with Jughead to their many questions about the "alphanumeric system" Edgar Evernever uses to sort all his blackmail tapes.

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Rest in Peaces, MCU! With the Endgame spoiler ban officially lifted today, Jackie and Steph are ready to share their many reflections on the final chapter in the Avengers story. Join us for some thoughts about Tony Stark's arc, gender and representation, our love of deep space Marvel, those gay Captain America boys, and more!

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If I wrote the last scene in Endgame.

EXT. UNCLEAR PATCH OF WOODS - DAY

The TIME MACHINE has been rebuilt out in this random bit of wilderness. Bruce, Sam, and Steve stand around the control panel while Bucky makes some final adjustments to the platform.

Bruce flips several switches on his console as Sam LATCHES SHUT a METAL CASE that contains all six INFINITY STONES.

BRUCE Now remember, you need to return all six stones to the exact moment we got them from, or you’re gonna spin off some nasty alternate realities.

Sam hands Steve the briefcase.

STEVE I know, don’t worry.

Sam walks with him over to the time machine platform.

SAM You know if you want, I could come with you.

STEVE I appreciate it. But I’ve gotta do this one on my own.

Sam nods. He hangs back as Steve comes to a stop next to Bucky. Bucky turns and meets Steve’s gaze.

STEVE Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.

BUCKY How could I, you’re taking all the stupid with you.

Steve laughs.

BUCKY I’m gonna miss you.

STEVE I’m gonna miss you, too.

He smiles, wistful, then steps onto the platform. Bruce adjusts some dials while Steve thumbs his compass and looks down at the Pym particles…

SAM How long’s this gonna take?

BRUCE For us? 5 seconds. For him, as long as he needs. Ready?

Steve nods curtly. He pockets the particles, picks up Mjolnir, and braces himself as Bruce BOOTS UP THE TIME MACHINE…

BRUCE Going quantum in 3… 2–

SAM Wait, wait!

Bruce startles. He hits a button on his console, causing the machine to WHIR TO A STOP.

STEVE What’s wrong?

SAM Nothing, I just, uh–

He looks at Bruce, who seems very confused.

SAM Never mind, I’m sorry. I thought I saw something. False alarm.

Steve is concerned. He tries to catch Sam’s gaze, but Sam looks away… something’s up. He steps off the platform and approaches his friend.

STEVE You okay?

Sam nods.

SAM Yeah. It’s nothing, I just– it doesn’t matter.

STEVE I feel like it does.

SAM It really doesn’t, I just– I imagined for a second there that you were gonna go back for her and– I mean, I want you to do whatever you need to do to be happy, but it made me think… after the snap, in the moments between being here and being gone, I realized there was a lot I never said to you.

STEVE Like what?

SAM I don’t know, I–

Sam looks around; this is kind of a weird audience for this. But Bucky gives him a small, encouraging nod.

SAM I mean, after Afghanistan, I got out, you know. And I made this life for myself that felt normal and right and… fine. But then flash forward 3 years and I’m a fugitive from the law, back in the line of fire and–

STEVE I never meant to drag you into any of this–

SAM No, no! I– when I met you, it was like… everything changed. I mean, I just offered to follow you back in time! I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way about anyone else. And I’m not sure what that means, but. I feel it means something.

Bruce’s eyes go wide; he feels like maybe he shouldn’t be here but he also doesn’t want to draw attention to himself by leaving. (Also there’s not really anywhere to go.)

SAM I just want you to know that… if you do come back, there’s a lot of life waiting for you here.

Steve nods. He swallows hard and turns to look at Bucky, who gives him a firm, knowing nod.

STEVE I know. I just don’t–

SAM No, no, you don’t have to say anything, do what you need to do. I just didn’t wanna leave that unsaid.

A beat. Steve’s chest is tight, but he smiles.

STEVE Thank you.

Steve wraps Sam in tight hug, then pulls away and heads back towards the time machine.

He stops next to Bucky, puts a hand on his shoulder, then climbs back up onto the platform. He takes a breath, picks up Mjolnir again, and looks to Bruce:

STEVE Dr. Banner?

Bruce looks from Sam to Steve to Bucky: seems like that moment is over. Cool cool cool cool cool.

BRUCE Right. Yes.

He makes some keystrokes and starts booting the time machine back up.

BRUCE Going quantum in 3…

Sam TURNS AWAY as the machine revs up. Steve takes one last look at his friends, then exhales slowly and closes his eyes.

BRUCE 2… 1!

The machine WHIRS; there’s a FLASH of BRIGHT LIGHT and–

Steve’s gone. Bruce adjusts some settings:

BRUCE And bringing him back in 5… 4… 3… 2–

Bruce pulls a lever, but nothing happens.

Sam looks up.

BUCKY Where is he?

BRUCE I don’t know, he blew right by our time stamp.

Bruce makes some frantic keystrokes while Sam watches.

SAM Get him back.

BRUCE I’m trying–

SAM Get him back!

Sam looks like he’s starting to panic. Bruce’s fingers fly across the controls as BUCKY NOTICES SOMETHING in the distance.

BUCKY Sam.

Sam looks up and sees it, too: there’s a MAN SITTING ON A BENCH by the lake. (There’s a pristine lake in these woods.)

Bruce steps back from the controls while Bucky and Sam cautiously move towards the man. They watch him for another moment, then:

BUCKY Go ahead.

Sam hesitates, but Bucky gestures for him to go on. He takes a deep breath, then walks over.

At the bench, Sam stops to get a good look: it’s STEVE, BUT HE’S OLD. Very old. Like, suburban-grandpa-who-retired-to-Florida-a-decade-ago old. Sam takes this in.

Steve turns and lights up when he sees his friend.

SAM So this is your new look, huh?

Steve smiles weakly.

STEVE You should see the other guys on my lawn bowling team.

Sam laughs.

SAM I think I’m okay.

A moment of silence.

SAM So you decided to stay?

STEVE I did. And I– if it were different, I maybe would’ve… but all these years, I feel like I’ve been pointing towards this thing, and I was suddenly so close, it just felt like–

SAM I know.

STEVE Like I had to.

SAM I understand. I’m happy for you, I really am. (a beat) I’m just bummed that I’ll have to live in a world without Captain America.

STEVE Well. That reminds me…

Steve reveals the CAPTAIN AMERICA SHIELD leaning against the bench. He picks it up and HANDS IT TO SAM.

STEVE Try it on.

Sam reluctantly takes the shield. He looks it over, then slides it onto his arm… it’s pretty dope.

STEVE How’s it feel?

SAM Like it belongs to someone else.

STEVE It shouldn’t.

Sam takes a moment to process this.

SAM I can’t–

STEVE Captain America should be the bravest man I know.

Sam’s overwhelmed. He nods, grateful.

SAM Thank you.

Steve somewhat awkwardly extends his hand for a shake. Sam accepts it… Steve’s wedding band catches his eye. He looks at it for a moment too long.

SAM (trying to be casual) You wanna tell me about her?

A small smile as Steve thinks for a moment.

STEVE I don’t think I do.

PRE-LAP: A grainy recording of some mid-tempo swing standard.

EXT. HOUSE - DAY - 1956

A suburban street lined with all-white houses in an all-white neighborhood. We’re in Westchester, probably. Or maybe Bergen County, New Jersey.

We press in on the whitest house of them all:

INT. HOUSE - DAY

A boring little home. In the living room, Steve SLOW-DANCES with PEGGY CARTER. He spins her around and pulls her close. They smile and lock eyes. He pulls her in for a KISS.

We push past these two pieces of white bread to the card table in the corner of the room. Sitting next to the record player is STEVE’S COMPASS. But where there was once was a picture of Peggy, now there’s a NEW PHOTO:

It’s a candid shot of Bucky, Sam, Steve, and Nat, bright wide-eyed smiles all around. Sam looks at Steve, glowing.

Close on the photo as the music swells and–

BLACK.

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Just thinking about how much I hated The Frontrunner and wanted to put this back in my own feed.

If I Were Claire Foy In ‘First Man’

INT. ARMSTRONG HOUSE, BEDROOM - NIGHT

RYAN GOSLING putzes around, putting random articles of clothing in a suitcase.  CLAIRE FOY stands in the doorway.

CLAIRE Neil.

Ryan Gosling does not look up.

CLAIRE (CONT’D) Neil!

RYAN Toiletries.

Ryan pushes past Claire and heads to the bathroom.

INT. ARMSTRONG HOUSE, BATHROOM - SAME

Now Ryan is putting all of the toiletries in the medicine cabinet into a small pouch.  He takes the lone tube of toothpaste from next to the two toothbrushes; his wife can buy herself some more toothpaste, he doesn’t care.

Claire Foy watches him pack, a nervous expression on her face.

CLAIRE Neil.

Ryan Gosling pauses his packing, but he doesn’t look up.  He takes a second, then puts a gigantic bottle of Tylenol in his pouch and zips it up: the bag is overstuffed, so it takes some effort.  Looking down, he pushes past Claire and heads back to the bedroom.

INT. ARMSTRONG HOUSE, BEDROOM - SAME

Neil puts his weird toiletry sack in the suitcase, then covers it in clothing for some reason.  Claire Foy marches back in, this time fire in her eyes.

CLAIRE Look at me when I talk to you!

Ryan Gosling is caught be surprise.  He looks up.

CLAIRE (CONT’D) What are you doing?

RYAN I’m packing.

CLAIRE You’re not, you’re killing time.

RYAN No, I’m not, I need stuff, Janet.

CLAIRE You need 600 Ibuprofen?

RYAN I’m going to be in quaranti–

CLAIRE You don’t think they’ll have Ibuprofen for you in quarantine?

RYAN It’s a NASA base, not a hotel.

JANET Fine, I’ll buy more Ibuprofen.  Have you spoken to the boys?

RYAN They’re asleep.

He looks down and zips up the suitcase, then heads back into the hallway.

CLAIRE No.

She follows him out, tight on his heels.

INT. ARMSTRONG HOUSE, KITCHEN - SAME

Now Neil is packing his briefcase.  He doesn’t have to put anything inside it, so he just opens it, then starts uncapping and recapping all his pens.

CLAIRE They are not asleep and you know it.

RYAN They went to bed–

CLAIRE Are you fucking kidding me?!

Neil stops mid-uncapping and turns to face her.

RYAN Excuse me?

Claire’s face contorts in frustration.

CLAIRE I hate this.  I hate this.  I hate that I have to be this… this character, this stupid fucking wife character, but you’re so… what kind of MANIAC is about to leave to go to the FUCKING MOON and won’t say goodbye to his interchangeable sons?!

RYAN I’ll be home in 3 months.

CLAIRE You don’t know that!

RYAN I do.

CLAIRE No, you don’t.  You fucking don’t.  You’ve watched so many people die, don’t tell me you know you’re coming back.

RYAN I won’t–

CLAIRE I am so sad, Neil.  All the time.  I’m just always so sad and I hate it and I just want to… cry and scream and be sad and move on, but there’s this part of me that can’t.  I can’t make myself do it.

Ryan’s face softens.

CLAIRE (CONT’D) I think about Karen everyday and I beg myself to cry.  Just a big cry.  This one time.  I want it so bad.  But I can’t.  I don’t know why, but I can’t.

RYAN Janet–

CLAIRE No, but the thing is, I know that’s a character flaw.  Like, I should be able to cry in front of my husband about how much it hurts every time I see a little girl in a red coat or a swing hung up from a tree or a bed with blue fucking sheets.  But you do the same thing and you feel like that’s just what you’re supposed to do!  Like you’re supposed to just walk around hurting everyone because you hurt.  It’s fucking exhausting.

RYAN That’s not fair.

CLAIRE No, what’s not fair is that you’re going off to do whatever the fuck it is you’re gonna do while I have to stay here, suffocating in this house, and explain to our children that you might not come back and you didn’t even bother to say goodbye.

RYAN I’m not… I’m going to the moon, Janet.

CLAIRE That’s great, Neil.  I’m happy for you.  I hope you have a great time on the moon.  I don’t have a fucking Wikipedia page, but I’m sure the moon will be a lot of fun.

RYAN What?

CLAIRE Listen, someday a beautiful woman is going to wear makeup that makes her look more plain and she’s going to play me in a movie, and she’ll do nothing in that movie but walk around and look worried and maybe yell at some guy one time or something and that’ll be it and it won’t matter at all.  She’ll just be your wife.  And she’ll just do the things that people imagine your wife did, because no one will care enough about me to actually document it.

RYAN I don’t… what do you want me to say right now?

CLAIRE I want you to say you miss our daughter and you’re sorry your masculinity is so exhausting that you don’t have the energy to be a good father or lover or friend, and I want you to write down somewhere that your wife doesn’t want to be in the fucking movie about you.  I’ll write it down, too, but no one’s going to look for my writing, so you have to do it.

RYAN Okay.

CLAIRE And then I want you to look our two identical children in the eyes and tell them you’re sorry.  And tell them you’re leaving.  And tell them you love them.  And give them each a hug.  And then go to the moon.  And then come back if you want.  But only if you want.  And only if you’ll really come back.  Only if you’ll actually be here.

RYAN Okay.

CLAIRE Good.  Now.  I’ll be in the basement operating my HAM radio and painting portraits of famous baseball players, because like a real fucking person, I have hobbies.

Ryan nods, dead in the eyes.

RYAN Okay.

Claire Foy leaves and goes to the basement and never comes back.  Ryan Gosling goes and gives both of his undifferentiated children weak unaffectionate kisses goodbye, then he goes to the moon so he can finally grieve the loss of a loved one like only a sociopath could.

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Was this episode good? No. But did we enjoy it? Oh, 100%. Listen in as we discuss Jackie's favorite lyric changes, our least favorite romantic storylines, and the delightfully dubious round of applause the Riverdale performance of Heathers deserved!

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The Serpents are deputized! F.P. is 50 and could die at any moment! Veronica and Cheryl are taking advantage of their romantic partners! All this and more as we discuss our two favorite recent episodes of Riverdale this week!

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Our Marvel mini-series continues with the latest MCU installment, Captain Marvel! Listen in as Jackie and Steph discuss what works, what doesn't work, and all the little details they loved – from the amount of 90s content to the queerness to the way it addresses our anti-green-alien bias. Oh, and Goose, too, of course!

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Riverdale is back and so are we! Join us as we discuss Archie's deeply reckless life choices, the tribulations of the Riverdale gang scene, what exactly it means to be a cult, and how Tom Keller is living his best life as a boxing coach.

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It’s an episode of firsts! The first dad to not successfully murder his son, the first time every minor character makes out with someone during the episode, the first time Jughead does literally nothing all episode, and more! Listen in as we discuss our thoughts on the Toni-Cheryl college storyline, Tom and Sierra’s wedding, and Jellybean’s maniacal return.

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Jackie and Steph are back, with a double-header: join them for a discussion of the very important SATs, the very convoluted water quality test forgery, the very goofy citizen's arrest, and more!

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Is this town still under quarantine? Are the Southside Serpents a labor union? Does Reggie have an sort of interior life? Is Jughead a huge moron? These questions and more as we discuss Riverdale's exciting 2019 premiere!

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It's the grand finale of our Nine Lives of Chloe King mini-series! Join us as we mourn the loss of our favorite characters, complain about Alek one last time, and try to imagine what the second season of this show would've looked like had it been made.

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Jackie and Stephanie return from their holiday break to discuss the Sony's 3rd and best take on the Spider-Man origin story, Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse. Listen in as they discuss everything from their favorite relationship to Peni Parker's unearned emotional moment to the fact that Peter Porker is now a pop culture icon.

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We were not kind to this episode! If you felt as bewildered as we did, join us as we rag on the clunky storytelling that has characterized this season so far, then ask hard-hitting questions like: what exactly happened between F.P. and Gladys Jones? Why can't Fred Andrews parent his 16 year-old son? Are there any medical doctors in Riverdale or just coroners? And how exactly is this town's iconic nunnery/insane asylum/gay conversion therapy program set up?

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Just found you guys! Great podcast, love your commentary, and how you call out the stupid (and there's a lot!). Can't wait for more from you guys 👍👍👍👍👍👍

Thanks so much, we’re so glad you’re enjoying the show!