ruski-san-eng - Tumblr blog

ruski-san-eng · 2 months ago

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(sorry guys but I'm too lazy to translate it so idk use google translator or something. Translating my feelings would also feel weird)

siema bratki. Dzisiaj jest jeden z ważniejszych miesięcy w moim życiu odnośnie mojego życia. Pride month? Nie, tu chodzi o przeszłość. Urodziny i tak dalej? Nic z tych rzeczy, choć nazwałbym to nowym życiem. ale zacznijmy najpierw od jakiś statystyk wstępnych Zważyłem się dzisiaj i ważę 48,25, rok temu ważyłem 39,6. To prawie 10kg, no może bardziej 9kg ale rozumiecie o co chodzi. w talii mam 65cm zamiast 62. w bicepsie 25cm zamiast 20cm.

a w głowie? Czuję się inną osobą, może tą samą, z tym samym charakterem i pasjami, ale jeżeli chodzi o sposób życia i myślenia o sobie jestem nie do poznania. Tak, rok temu zacząłem swoją przygodę ze zmianą siebie na lepsze, z wyjścia z tego bagna

Nie mogę tu mówić o mieszanych uczuciach, bo prawda jest taka, że jestem z tego w 100% zadowolony pomimo tych wszystkich wzlotów i upadków, bolesnych ale jednocześnie pomagających zrozumieć czym tak naprawdę jest ten cały proces.

Jaki się czułem przed tym? Słabe, zestresowany, często załamany, nie czerpiąc żadnej satysfakcji z tego kim jestem. Teraz może nadal daleko mi do powiedzenia "kocham siebie jak nikogo innego" ale widzę zmiany, i to na lepsze. Może nadal ciężko mi akceptować każdy przybyty kilogram, ale staram się to robić i zawsze czerpię z tego korzyści. To nie jest proces łatwy czy krótki ale pozwalający dojść do czego wspaniałego, czego każdy w głębi siebie pragnie - normy. Nie, nie chodzi o mówienie "O boże, jak ja kocham swoje ciało!" (chociaż jak ktoś tak ma to bardzo dobrze, można tylko pozazdrościć) tylko zaakceptowanie iż w twoim ciele nie liczy się to jak wygląda, ale że jest twoje i działa tylko dla ciebie.

Jestem teraz definitywnie silniejszy (w sposób nie do końca fizyczny tylko duchowy), spokojny, bez potrzeby szukania motywacji aby dążyć do niewyobrażalnie niskiej wagi (teraz chyba wolę ważyć tyle ile ważę ale żyć normalnie niż wa��yć nie wiadomo jak mało i leżeć w szpitalu).

Progres, to nie tylko cyfry. Progres to jest to jak się czujesz, ale nie chodzi w nim o to aby czuć się zawsze dobrze, tylko dążenie do tego aby nie kopać dołki pod samym sobą.

Co chciałbym wam powiedzieć:

Nie trzeba być "gotowym" aby zacząć, nie trzeba udowadniać innym lub sobie, że jesteś wystarczająco zniszczony aby się leczyć, im szybciej zaczniesz, tym lepiej dla ciebie.

Regeneracja i odpoczynek to nie nagroda, to jedna z najważniejszych części zarówno recovery jak i ogólnego treningu (trenując codziennie bez ani jednego dnia odpoczynku nie ma więcej efektów tylko więcej bólu, zasadniczo mięśnie robią się właśnie wtedy kiedy odpoczywamy)

Waga to tylko liczba. To nie jesteś ty. Mówisz o kimś że ma włosy a nie że jest włosowy, tak samo o sobie trzeba zacząć mówić że masz tłuszcz, a nie że jesteś tłusty (każdy ma tłuszcz, a jakby nie miał wcale to by umarł, ponieważ jest on ważny). Waga nawet nie definiuje twojego wyglądu. Naprawdę te +2kg często nie są widoczne wcale oraz są naturalną reakcją organizmu (na przykład podczas miesiączki lub kiedy spalamy tłuszcz i woda go tymczasowo zastępuje).

Czasami mały krok w tył jest lepszy niż stanie w miejscu. Lepiej się cofnąć i zrozumieć dlaczego wcześniej szedłeś dalej niż stać w miejscu nie wiedząc czy iść dalej.

Kiedy zauważysz że jesteś w dołku, pierwszą rzeczą jaką należy zrobić to przestać kopać.

To tyle co mam wam do powiedzenia. Mam nadzieję że to co powiedziałem naprawdę otworzy w kimś coś nowego lub da coś w stylu motywacji aby iść dalej, bo może recovery jest ciężkie, ale życie w nienawiści do samego siebie jest jeszcze cięższe (bo naprawdę raczej nigdy nie jest tak że osiągnięcie jakiś cel i uznacie że teraz jest dobrze, bardziej uznacie wasz cel za nie wystarczający, bo tak działa ta choroba). Trzymajcie się kochani! ❤️

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ruski-san-eng · 7 months ago

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How to start recovery?

This is a question that I have already received twice in my dms, from people who wanted to start recovery, but did not know how, or weren't ready for such sudden changes in their life. So today I will tell you how to start this very difficult process, which is of course worth it, considering that thanks to it you can achieve a healthy life in which a person doesn't worry 24/7 about how many calories thry ate or burned.

Let's start with the fact that when you start recovery, you shouldn't change your diet out of sudden. You have to start from the basics, and the basic reason for ED is the wrong perception of yourself. You should try affirmation, emotional journal, breathing exercises, etc.

I will recommend two apps for such things "gratitude" and "how we feel" (I will not give you photos because something does not work for me, you will definitely find them in both play store and app store)

the first one has affirmation, unfortunately only one is free but you can create your own, only then we do not have to read aloud. You can create something like a mind map and create notes in which we can draw or choose a question or task, e.g. "What do you like most about yourself?", "Write about something you want to achieve". it is best to think a little longer about the questions or tasks. This will make you come to the conclusion that your life has some good things in it and there are people that you should live for. This is important during recovery, so that you do not think that you are alone in a fucked up life without help, and everything is messed up and doesn't have any positive things. And if you listen to the Affirmation for a long time, you also start to believe it, of course if you want to and do not tell yourself every now and then "God, I am hopeless", etc., because then you are in the self place.

The second app is an emotion journal, ABSOLUTELY FREE, because the app exists through a collection that you can voluntarily pay into so that it can develop. This means that we have positive emotions on the right, and those that are harder to experience on the left. At the top high energy and at the bottom low and we choose what we feel, we can also go to the full list where we have even more emotions and we can look for what we want. We also have a definition of this emotion. After selecting, we can enter what we think makes us feel this way, and add a photo. Later we can enter how much we slept, how much we exercised, how many steps we took and allow a connection with the weather or health connect. Later we can choose whether we want to share all, only emotions or none at all with friends. YES YOU CAN ADD FRIENDS, so they can help us if we want to, of course.

We also have "tools" there, various ones including breathing exercises, etc. My favorite is "burn the negative" where we enter negative statements about ourselves to: "I am", "people see me as", "I'm always" "I'll never be the same" e.g. "I am weak" After filling in, we have a button with a flame at the bottom and after clicking on it, the note we wrote gets burned and at the end a message pops up "Your story has been burned Embrace the freedom to write a new story about yourself". Because of it you feel that all the bad experiences behind you are gone BECAUSE THEY JUST BURNED

Back to the topic. Changing your way of thinking by yourself is difficult and takes quite a long time… very long… But it is the most important part, it is worth finding some reasons why you want it and writing them down as many as possible, e.g. in notes or in the first application that I showed you, and reading it from time to time to remind yourself why you chose this path and why it is worth it. I also recommend that you write a letter to your future self and describe there, for example, what you think your future version will gain thanks to recovery, physically and mentally, and often use sentences like "I believe that […]". You can also read it when you have worse moments to remember what you are striving for and that you believe that you will succeed. As for these worse moments… You may want a sudden restriction then, and that is fine. At the beginning, I often had this and did restrict during that. But always at the end of the day you have to tell yourself that this is JUST a worse MOMENT and it does not mean that everything has gone to, the progress is still there. And it worked for me because I was aware that if I do not get back on my feet, I will not move forward. It's worth having someone to support you. Of course, telling others about it is hard, because we don't know what they'll think, what they'll do, whether they'll reject us, whether they'll tell others, etc. So you can talk about it to... Online Friends, telling them about it is easier, because we don't see their reaction, and they often live far away so we know they won't do that much and they LIKELY won't report us anywhere because we're not around them, besides, if they're a good friend and not a fake bitch, they won't do that. Also good are… strangers on the internet… and you'll say it's stupid because we don't know them, but most of you who will read this describe your experiences on a blog on tumblr because it's easier, you don't know anyone, no one will do anything to us, we're not afraid of rejection because we don't know anyone here. Of course, I will recommend myself as the person to write to, because I have no problems devoting 5 minutes of my life to someone who could benefit from it, because I waste 70% of my life on nonsense, so it doesn't change anything for me, and I won't reject anyone because I know how their life actually looks. (Remember that when you don't have anyone, there's always character ai…) Going back, if we manage to change this attitude in some way by more than half, we can slowly start changing our diet. Something that seems almost "neccesery" is stopping counting calories, because honestly, it triggers the most. You can start by not counting the calories of one meal, it can be a tiny thing that wouldn't matter anyway. WHAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU START SOMEWHERE.

then we move on to changing our diet, we should start with easily digestible things because otherwise our damaged body may not be able to handle things that are heavy on the stomach. easy to digest food is for example:

cooked vegetables and fruits, white bread or graham, small groats, and pasta, rice, small cereals, soft-boiled eggs (I do not recommend boiled ones because they are terribly heavy) yogurts and other natural dairy products (skimmed milk, low-fat cottage cheese) lean meat (turkey, chicken, rabbit, lean beef) lean fish (cod, pollock, trout) it is important to eat larger and larger amounts of this food over time, of course so that it is not much larger from day to day because the stomach will not handle such a sudden change. later, if our body and our physical health recover a bit, we can start eating more protein, of course the "natural" kind, like eggs, meat, etc. Because protein yogurts are not very natural and can be harmful in large quantities. You also need to take care of the appropriate intake of fats (the healthy ones) because otherwise there will be poor absorption of some vitamins because we will not get them with water. It is best to get it by frying, for example, use sunflower oil while frying eggs. When it comes to carbohydrates, at some point we will have to start eating this sugar, which, next to fat, is the thing that is most limited, and what really counts is moderation and a complete lack of it is also bad. Of course, this does not mean that you have to eat a shitload of candies and other things because it is still crap and an excess of sugar. But I will recommend to start adding sugar to your tea, and eat chocolate, preferably with a fairly good composition or in moderate quantities. I also recommend you… POTATOES... just don't overdo it with the spices because they can cause a fucking storm in your stomach and you won't get off the toilet, or you'll sit on it for half an hour or kneel in front of it. Regular salt will be the best.

Vitamins and mineral salts are also important.

Niacin (Vitamin B3) Magnesium Iron Calcium and various vitamins you can look for them on the internet yourself, although if you eat the right amounts of food, half of the deficiencies are gone.

If you can, take calcium or magnesium in tablets. I take magnesium with vitamin B6 for 18 PLN (4,40 dollars, 4,23 Euro) from the pharmacy.

recovery can be compared to learning you won't succeed quickly, if you try to do it fast you will NOT succeed. it's actually a good comparison because recovery is learning about yourself… I advise you NOT to change your diet until you change your way of thinking because it will only end with a strong relapse and you'll only have worse problems with your disorders. if you fail, it's fine. Just get over it and start again... and again... and again.. until you will finally reach your success, and I promise you, it's worth it. Remember the times you were a little baby and you were learning how to walk? You probably fall down a lot of times, but look at you now. Now, you walk properly.

I hope I can help someone who, for example, wants to start a recovery but didn't know how.

If anyone has any questions and courage, they can write in a comment, in a private message, or ask a question anonymously. (I would appreciate every reblog because it took me A LOT of time and translating it into english was another hard task...) ( original post wrote in Polish: @ruski-san ) (my english is bad as fuck)

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