saccharinesystem

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It’s 3 am and no one is online someone pls dm me or smth I am bored

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If you support Melanie Martinez unfollow me ❤️

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@thestardustcollective321

When the dissociative identity disorder starts dissociating my identity

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one time i was in an olive garden bathroom and my packer fell out of my shorts and this ten year old boy just looked at me with absolute terror and without thinking i said "that's what happens when you don't eat your vegetables" later i saw him eating salad at a speed no human should be capable of

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my ecological romance

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I love my friends

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High off the cart, talking to the love of my life, and suppressing negative thoughts for the time being. Life is good right now.

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🫵🏳️‍🌈!!!!

/pos

true

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something i don’t see talked about in the system community enough are the dissociative shutdowns.

when you’re in a system, you know what it feels like to not have control over your body because somebody else does. so, when you’re supposed to be controlling the body and, when life hits the fan, suddenly it won’t do anything you want it to do, it’s terrifying.

the world feels crushing yet far away at the same time. your eyes are looking around, but they’re not truly seeing. you can hear someone talking, and you can’t respond— and if you are, the words falling off your lips are foreign and feel numb on your tongue.

when you’re in that state you feel nothing. you don’t notice your own actions (if you can even muster any), you don’t register touch or pain, you don’t feel cold, you don’t feel heat.

hours pass. maybe it’s only minutes? it’s impossible to tell. you’re frozen in time and space but everything is still moving on around you.

then all the sudden it’s over. at least it seems over. something still feels… wrong. but there’s no time to address that.

as time goes on, it turns out that you never really circle back to why that happened. until it happens again. then you ignore it. the cycle continues.

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im transID normal

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Been working on my own website. Learning html and css is really difficult 😭. Issue is, I don’t think I’m learning, I think I’m just copying things I see. Although to give myself some credit, it’s my third or fourth day learning.

Looking forward to people seeing it, despite it being insanely ugly and horrid to look at.

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rat king

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I drew myself :) -Julie

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meeps + alternate colors

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oranges from my backyard