samdwhitched

[samdwhitched]

So, I’ve had something in my head for the past, hmmmm, 3 minutes, and i must share it.

Ya know tha silly little TikTok trend where it’s like “face down, ass up; that’s the way she likes to fuck” well, somewhere on Gaz’s phone is a video with that audio and the video is just soap being flung into the ground form some kind of explosion-gone-wrong kinda thing. Brother just face plants and slide, impact making him flip over on his back in the process.

He gains a broken nose and a very bad headache for the next week.

No one knows Gaz has said video, but it has been shared among the entire base

[samdwhitched]

You cannot convince me otherwise wise that price has dogs that can scar some people shitless but are also absolute pusses when it comes to certain things.

He has both a Rottweiler and a Doberman. I don’t know what he would name them, but I like Casper (Doberman) and Monty (Rottweiler) so ima go with that.

Don’t get him wrong, he’s trained them well, even though they aren’t military dogs. There also good guard dogs, could kill ya if Price said so.

Now what do I mean by there pusses at times? Casper is an absolute chicken when the toaster pops up. Gets scared shitless. Monty? Balloons. Brother HATES them. Will run if it gets close enough to him.

And I mean, Price has tried to desensitize them, make toast more often, blew up balloons near them, but no. Even after all of his attempts, all he got for it was barking, growling, and skedaddling.

I also feel like they look scary, but are absolute sweethearts (unless price says something). There great around kids, loves the rest of the team, and really friendly around other dogs.

Monty likes Ghost, likes to lay on him and nap, likes the head scratches Ghost gives him while he sleeps. Casper likes Gaz and Soap, he’s very energetic, loves playing all the time.

[samdwhitched]

I’d like to think the twins are adhd and autistic. Mable being the adhd and Dipper being the autistic one.

Mable does everything and anything- mostly crafts. Girly loves a good craft or artsy piece. She loves making new sweaters, earrings, and stuff for dipper and her family.

Dipper on the other hand likes science, math, literature- that kind of stuff. He has a TON of books that are filled with word puzzles, books that professors would give out, puzzles and many more things like that.

I feel like Mable would sometimes accidentally use her voice too loud and it would startle Dipper a lot and hurt his ears- so Mable had to work on that. And I feel like because Mable, since Dipper hates loud noises, she makes him custom headphones. It’s all bedazzled and painted- it even has a small drawing of the Little Dipper on it.

I also think that Dipper always notices something. Like Mable is constantly using art supplies, always making something. Most of the time tho she doesn’t always notice she’s out of something till it’s to late. So Dipper usually sees that she’s almost out of something (paint, glue, glitter, Etc.) and goes and replaces it before it’s empty/ all gone. (Obviously Mable figures it out eventually but doesn’t say anything- why? Idk make something up for your self)

Now some more random things that I have no way to word but still think:

Dipper loves orange popsicles. Only the oranges. And not the one with the ice cream in the middle, those are ass (his words not mine)

Mable knows how to sew, and she likes to make different things for everyone- making them as gifts. Especially Pacifica. She wears them, just not around her parents tho-

Idk, that’s all I got for rn….might put more later…

[samdwhitched]

Love seeing other people’s “celebrity crush” because I like seeing other taste in people. Being ace I’ve never actually had one and when I see people talk bout them I’m like “I don’t personally see it, but I see on a scale that they are handsome/beautiful”. That was until my eyes were blessed by Pedro Pascal and I will be leaving it at that.

im nosey, who was everyone's first celebrity crush.

i dont like saying crush but it rolls off the tounge better than "celebritiy you wanted to fuck stupid"

[samdwhitched]

I need someone to make an OC where there immortal and shit, and just managed to get themselves into shit like a fucking deer looking into headlights.

Should probably word things better. Ok ok ok

What I want is a character who’s immortal, they’ve been through war and fights and have seen it all. They’ve seen death and starvation and peace happen over and over and over again. They’ve seen history repeat themselves like a mindless clock but the numbers keep changing and changing, lost and distorted that no one even know what the clock looks like anymore.

They are war torn, scared, battered. There skin is is a tapestry of scars from torture and pain. They have lived thousands and thousands of years, and even after everything they don’t know what to do anymore. Thinking that maybe death would be the only thing to bring them comfort, the only being that will remember them.

Then, after everything, there no longer immortal, whether they where granted there wish or found it some other way, there now mortally. And for a moment, it feels like a relief, the moment there free.

But then there skin peels, it starts to split at the seams, every part of there body rips and tears. Every scar, every cut and slice, every broken bone and gunshot whole re-open or snap. There screams echo off the walls, blood fills there lungs and suffocate them, there eyes burn but they don’t notice, no. The teeth shattering pain that they feel all over is the only thing they feel. Only thing they can feel.

Blood pools, tissue rips, bones snap, pure agony in there screams— the nothing. They lay limp there on the ground. There gone. No one will know who they are and no one would care. They got there wish, but at what cost?

Anyway that’s my thought

[samdwhitched]

I’ve had a thought. Ima say this thought and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.

Now, don’t get me wrong there nothing wrong with working with military men, you can hold yourself, your on this team for a good reason. But like hell do you do things that still surprise the team.

Your not small, no but compared to the fucking 20 story buildings that you call your team mates, yeah your shorter. And by gods does your temper make up for the lack of extra hight.

You could make SEVERAL rookies break down right there on the spot with the amount of insults and just by degrading them. And yeah you can swear like a sailer but hell you’re creative with it.

Price has never head someone call someone else, and he quotes, “a useless cock sucking, scum scrubbing bitch who not even a mother could love because they are probably adopted due to the fact the moment there mother gave birth to them she could tell they would be a disappointment and never achieve anything in life- and anyone who says otherwise was also a self proclaimed sad sack of shit”

That was the day a lot of people knew not to mess or toss your shit, cause you CAN and WILL lose it on the nearest person.

Oh and you also man spread like man who could fix a car in less then 20 minutes. Like you take up almost half of the couch in the rec room. And NO ONE can move you, unless the Ghost just had a shitty day, your out that bitch like your ass is on fire.

And like don’t get me wrong, your respectful and have manners and can be sweet, just not to the military. Yeah you have your moments generally speaking you could put someone in a head lock in a heart beat.

[samdwhitched]

I need this, let me have this.

It was Christmas, lights are on throughout the base, little to no one is there, lights are dim right before you leave. Due to the fact a lot of the guys didn’t have the best family or any to begin with, it was always a tradition to celebrate at someone’s house- just to celebrate with the made family.

This year it’s your turn, and everyone was already on there way to your place, and excited buzz in the air since this would your first year- well, officially your first year hosting. Technically the last fe time it was your turn, you where in the middle of moving, or that time the flat next to you caught fire and everyone had to evacuate, or that time you where renovating basically the whole house because of a flood- yeah a lot happened…

Anyway, this year was the first where nothing could go wrong, and you had a ton of stuff prepared.

When your home, it’s not to long afterwards that everyone starts coming in, Price and Nik sitting on the couch next to each other, Ghost leaning against the counter as he watches Soap (and mostly his ass) as he helps you take things out of the oven, Laswell and her wife already pouring themselves some wine the brought over.

Your cat, who you so happily had named tot (short for tater tot), was scratching up against everyone’s legs, purring constantly with the new people.

Everyone knew you had a cat, knew you so stupidly named it tater tot. They knew you were a bit. Weird, though it just let you fit in with everyone in the team. Though, they had only seen you when you where on base- not exactly when you where in the comfort of your own home…

“No, do t you dare” you motioned to the car, who was looking like they were ready to jump on the counter top where the food is.

The cat, who looked less then pleased, started to meow scream at you, which you, did right back.

Everyone looked at you- bewildered, because you were arguing with a cat. And when asked what the hell you where doing, you simply said

“He gets like that sometimes, dont mind it”

And just continued to go back to cooking like nothing happened

[samdwhitched]

i always though these where the kinda things you see in those over dramatic doctors shows but im so glad this happens

ranking the best things I have heard surgeons say mid-surgery:

1. "Five second rule!" while scrubbed, after dropping a sterile scalpel on the floor (no they did NOT pick it up again but I swear everyone's buttholes puckered)

2. (spoken during the closing of a particularly long and difficult case) "Nurse - my tunes." :heavy metal starts blasting:

3. Gently to a fretful patient, pre-anaesthesia: "It's going to be okay. I promise, I've dealt with worse." As soon as the patient is unconscious: "This is literally the worst thing I've ever seen."

4. [okay this one was a med student] "Wowwww, that's so gross!!" Reg: "Please remember that [patient] is awake for this procedure." Student to patient: "Oh my god. I am so sorry, that was really unprofessional - " Patient, cheerfully, also engrossed with what's happening inside them on the screen: "Nah - it's, like, super gross, right?"

5. [another procedure where the patient couldn't be put under GA] Patient: *starts singing country roads midway through the procedure* Surgeon: *shrugs and joins in with surprisingly good harmony*

[samdwhitched]

It was cold out, the bitter wind nipping at her skin and making pick- even with the jacket she’s wearing.

The dark night seemed to help with thing though, feeling like its stars were wrapping around her, trying to make her feel better with there soft glow.

It’s been years since the incident, yet the memory still seems to creep in now and then. And Luz hated it.

She died. She was dead. Even if it was for a brief moment, just for a second, it still happened. Even when she excepted that fact in the moment, when she knew it would be the last time she would see her friends- how it would be the last time she would breath.

Even when she woke up, the feelings in her fingertips coming back, the air filling her lungs and the feeling of water in her ears; she couldn’t shake the feeling of her own death.

At first, she didn’t have time to truly process what happened, and she never truly did. So, she suppressed it. Didn’t touch it and soon enough it crept it way up. And she would have to deal with it. Like now, the memories of what happened- what it felt like, all coming back.

The numbness she felt in her fingers, the way her throat and eyes burned and stung, how it felt like her chest was closing, the silence- the deafening silence. How she couldn’t hear her heart, the lack of beating in her chest, the cold feeling that seems to spread through her.

Her thoughts seemed to be interrupted by the roof door opening, heavy footsteps coming by before they sit themselves down with a soft thump. Wearing some baggy and comfortable clothes, seemed like he was probably going to bed before this.

“You alright there?” He asked, his deep voice seeming more tired than usual, making his accent more pronounced.

“I uh-..just thinking is all”

Ghost shifted I bit, a sigh coming out of the scary man “Doesn’t look like it ta me. I know that look. Trust me kid, my line of work thought me that the hard way”

Luz couldn’t hold it in, that feeling, though thoughts. “Yeah..” her voice broke a bit, how long did she think she could hold it together? To hid things?

Before she new it, the man’s arms cam around her shoulder, bringing her in. It wasn’t really a hug, but at least now she felt some stability, somewhere to lean on.

“Don’t have to talk bout it if ya don’t want to” he said. Before she could even realize it, soft tears roiled down her face, a small, faint smile on her face.

“Thanks..”

[samdwhitched]

It’s spa dayyyy

It’s been a day for everyone, everyone is tired and it’s been a long day, so what is the best way to help with that? Spa day!

Mable was the first to do this, after seeing How tired everyone and how moody they were. Obviously this would not stand with her, no, they must be helped!

She got all the necessities, face masks (of all different colors and fruits), nail polishes, fun little games, and of course popcorn so they could all watch a movie.

Gaz, who had seen Mable going around and grabbing everything and looking like a feral animal, decided to help. And to be fair the man loves his skin care.

So he helps Mable get more face masks, this time getting some the under eyes or some where you just smear a bit on the places needed (to help with some of the sensory issues), also making sure that there’s some clear polish in case some so t want color- and making sure the polish helps with nail growth and the cuticle.

Finally it’s time. Everyone is in the living room, Gaz having a pale green mask on his face while he fixes Maomoa’s hair into a bun, getting it out of her face (they had to practice pry her here and promise her some deadly night shade if she co operated). Dipper has a small scrunchie holding his hair out of his face, a smear of black looking stuff on his forehead and cheeks.

Rapunzel painting her nails with some clear polish, her nails a soft pink color with little flower stickers on them. Mable having a pink eye masks on as she smears a small dollop of green on Kirby’s face- an even though it was a tiny amount it still ended up being to much-

Then you have Hermes who’s gossiping with Luz about gods know what. Everyone is in there pajamas and watching some kind of drama movie that Mable and Gaz had decided on, two very large popcorn bowls sitting on the floor and one small bowl of caramel corn (for luz and her sweet tooth). Snacks and games scattered along the floor.

[samdwhitched]

Had an idea, might run with it later.

All I’m gonna say is, Autistic Dipper and ADHD Mable. That’s it, thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[samdwhitched]

Sometimes, sometimes my brain is to weird for me to keep my own thoughts to myself. So ima share them. Also forgive me for I am terrible at writing accents

It was the middle of the night, maybe 2 or 3 in the morning- far later then John wanted to be up. But damn, was time sure as hell catching up to him. In his near forties and yet acting like an old man- his body already waking him up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom.

Of course, when walking back to his oh-so-cozy-bed, he happens to spot a little something in the kitchen. There, on the counter, a little round pink ball. And what was this small gumball trying to do at this god forsaken hour? That’s right, he was trying (and failing miserably) to open a container of blueberries that just so happened to be sitting on the counter.

John, who was sleep deprived and finding the situation kinda funny, decided to help the poor deflated guy. Going and opening the plastic packaging, taking a few blueberries and handing them to the pink ball- who happily inhaled them.

“Yar one odd creature ya know that?”

“:D”

“Heh, can’t say anything with that face now can I?”

After he also takes some blueberries (for the road back of course), he takes Kirby, putting the little guy on his shoulder before starting to walk back to bed.

[samdwhitched]

how do you explain to people that you lived in a good house hold physically, but everything else was bad? Like yes, my family did presents and we got each other shit, but say something even remotely out of line? oh your getting an ear full in the care our in privet (if your in public or around family).

Or how, yes, my mother always told me to be myself, that it doesn't matter what other people think, that im beautiful. always saying how pretty i am, yet she gave me self esteem issues when she commented on my weight when i was a fucking 9 year old. And when i gain an ED, the conversation with my parents went like this:

Mother: "If you keep this up, your going to end up in the hospital, there going to put a tube in your stomach"

Dad: "If you dont eat something, im going to beat the shit out of you"

Its like- what the fuck? my mother tries to scare me into eating, an my father just straight up threatens me.

Yes they gave me a rough over my head, food on the table, and clothes, but isnt that the bare minimum of being a parent? you could give a kid there physically need but still be emotionally and physically abusive

[samdwhitched]

Being in multiple fandoms is so weird, especially when your brain is wired like mine.

Like i could be sitting around thinking of jack shit, and all of a sudden fucken John price is feedin' this bubble gum with shoes-fuck ass-8 inch tall-could go against god, creature a blueberry.

i just imagine an infinite house like place were all these peeps can just go and relax. Thats were i house my favorite characters in ma brain. And just- they all kind hang out there.

Or sometimes Hiccup is letting Dipper hang out with him and let him pet toothless- because the little dweeb had never seen a dragon this close up before. And Mable is braiding Rapunzel's hair (in my mind, her hair grows back- just brown and no longer magical- idc if you hate it, sucka dick) saying how pretty it is and maybe even bedazzling it.

Like theres so much stuff that buzzes in my mind dudes ya dont know

[samdwhitched]

Idk if it’s just me but I feel like Kirby is such a chaotic-good character. And like, because he’s so small, he would like- stick around you all the time and be this adorable little creature that brings you shit unexpected. Like a cat kind of. (Just an fyi Kirby is only 8 inches tall)

Think about it

Your siten, chillen probably on your phone or something and all of a sudden this little fucker comes flouting in and lands on you. Something VERY OBVIOUS in his mouth. And when your about see what the little guy has, boom, out he spits a giant fucking rock.

Because the little fucker sees you collect random shit so he would most definitely go out of his way to get you something he thinks you like.

Or like, for instance, you just bought Thai nice ass cake. Like this shit looks GOOD. It’s all professional and what not looks so damn good, you can’t wait to take a bit. Turn around to grab a knife to cut it and when you look back, gone. The tiny motherfucker are the whole damn thing. Fuck it, cake stand an all. Bro left you NOTHING.

Anywho that’s what my thought are, ima go eat garlic bread

[samdwhitched]

Uhhhh? This is pt.2 of the dipper losing Mable blog- had a few people asking me if she was dead or something. Uhh, enjoy the angst??? (also forgive me for the bad timeline or if I get something mixed up. Haven’t seen gravity falls in a long while)

It’s not that he wants to remember that day, but his mind won’t let him forget that day. It replays over and over in his head like a damn clock.

It was the last battle, they were finally going to put Bill were he belongs. Lock him away forever and never have to see him again. But, something happened. And no matter how hard Dipper tries he can’t remember what. Like a gap in his memory- just- gone. He does know what happened afterwards though.

There’s Mable, except it’s not Mable. Her eyes yellow and manic, like a dear in headlights- then they just- go out. He doesn’t know how, Mable bill tried to take over? But that would mean she had to make a deal. Then why did she- He, look so scared? And then- it was like he just- disappeared from her body. Then why was she- why didn’t she move?

He hated that thought, hated those memories. When he say Mable hit the floor with a lifeless thud, when he came to her side to try and help her- the way she felt so cold when he touched her. And his laugh. His shit eating laugh.

Everything after that was a blur. But even after so much time has passed, he can still feel Mable’s weight in he’s arms.

And no matter how hard he tries to forget that feeling. He never will.

Get cliffhangered bitches >:]

[samdwhitched]

Mable doesn’t remember what day it is. Doesn’t remember what time it is or the last time she ate. The leaves on her small potted plant start to wither and rot. Falling off the sad looking plant and landing on the window sill. Waddles try’s to comfort her- well as much as he can. It’s been almost three months, and she still hasn’t changed.

She hadn’t touched her crafts, hasn’t made a new sweater in god knows how long. She hasn’t even changed or washed that shooting star sweater. It’s stained and dirty and smells- yet she still wears it.

Her mother tried to persuade her to change, or to at least let her wash it. But she declined. It still smells like him. The day. The day everything went to shreds. The paintings on her walls have been slowing peeling off, but she doesn’t care. Nothing matters anymore.

The bed on the other side of the room is bare, the sheets neatly laid- just how Dipper liked it. His side of the room is still its clean mess it was before.

Maybe if she waits a little long he’ll come back. Yeah, he’ll come through the door, play everything off like it was some stupid prank. Or say he was out trying to find some weird eight armed creature that takes your dreams and he just got side tracked. Then Mable will punch him in the arm and call him a dork and say how worried she was.

But deep down, she knows that’s not true. She knows Dipper isn’t coming back.