sapfromsaplings

[sapfromsaplings]

“i’m sitting in a bookstore with my love”

(November 17, 2024)

on the wooden stage where thrilling stories of adventure

are reenacted to little kids,

eager to leap into another world.

i’m sitting beside my love in a bookstore,

and she dares me to find my favorite book series

on these shelves

in less than 45 seconds.

my reward? ten kisses, she says!

i eagerly spring into action when she starts the timer.

i’m frantically scanning the hundreds of books

as my love giggles while she watches me.

turning a corner,

with nineteen seconds left,

i find the first book

and declare my triumph.

i sit back down beside her,

book in hand,

and i explain the lore to her,

painting the picture of an exhilarating tale

of a naive house cat turned sensational cat clan leader.

i hold myself back

because i don’t want to bombard her with so much information at once.

but as she leans against me,

i smile to myself knowing that

she’ll hear it all one day,

even if she eyes me and expresses hesitation,

because i know she wouldn’t truly mind.

we sneak quick kisses,

when people aren’t looking,

and i love the way

her gentle gaze settles on mine.

it feels like forever is in her eyes.

the setting here,

on this stage,

in this section of barnes and nobles,

is kinda romantic,

and kinda nostalgic all at once

as i stare at the book still in my hands.

i spot a toy train station

in the corner of my eye,

and i jump at the opportunity

to feel like a kid again.

moving the train along its track,

and smashing the conductor with machines,

i begin to think of my future,

how someday i may want to have kids,

kids who might want to play lots of video games,

kids might want to read tons of books,

or even kids who might want to play with this very toy train,

in this very store,

and of what kind of father i may turn out to be.

so i look up at my love,

and i ruin her candid shot by glancing at the camera,

and i find comfort in the idea

of us being together way past our teenage years,

after college,

in a decade or two,

forever, if feasible,

and calling her my high school sweetheart.

then i return to her,

and she soon teases me by running away

as we wander more around the store,

and sneak more kisses in-between the aisles.

today becomes a story of

romance,

the story of

two kids in stores,

two kids kissing a lot,

two kids in love.

my love in a bookstore.

[sapfromsaplings]

“our perfect day”

(November 9, 2024)

our perfect day would start,

with us waking up together

in a nice

soft

warm bed.

i would have my arms wrapped around you,

my hands pulling you closer to me,

my face in your neck,

not wanting to wake up,

not wanting to let you go.

you would kiss my forehead,

a smile plastered on your face,

and we’d cuddle until we would have to get up.

we would brush our teeth together in the bathroom,

and you would scold me for the way i do my skincare.

you’d cook us breakfast

(if you would want some help from me),

and i’d head off to the gym

(maybe with you)!

we would lounge around,

talking and working

and doing all the things

that teenagers do,

that couples do,

that teenage couples do.

i would kiss you a million times a day,

littering my kisses all over your cheeks and lips and forehead.

i would want you to feel loved in my presence,

to feel like you’re on top of the world.

i would hold your face in my hands,

and tell you every single thought that comes to mind,

and every single feeling that arises because of you.

i would clean,

and organize everything,

while you would cook some delicious food for us to feast upon.

we would sit together

as the light outside dims,

and as the crickets make themselves known

to the world.

i would grow drowsy

as our fingers passionately interlock,

and as you would squeeze my hand.

you or i

would end up asleep

on someone’s shoulder,

or in someone’s arms.

maybe we would fall asleep at the same time,

on our bed,

whispering to each other about how our days went,

about new updates in our lives,

about how perfect of a day

today was.

[sapfromsaplings]

CW: discusses results of the 2024 US Presidential Election

“election day”

(Wednesday, November 6, 2024)

3:35 p.m.

even on a hot, 80-degree day,

with the expectation of a glaring sun,

and even on a day filled with promises,

the sky looked dim.

a cool breeze swept over the city,

a place that proudly embraced its blue,

that was enlightened by the idea of a greater future,

and a better tomorrow.

“where were you the day trump got elected again?”

they’ll echo in your ears,

a twinge of fear in their throats.

the day trump got elected,

i was in the arms of my girlfriend:

echoes of her laugh in my ears,

her tender kisses pressed into my neck,

my cheeks

my lips.

it felt like there was nobody but us in the whole world,

that we were just two teenagers

inside a bedroom fueled with nothing but love and memories,

enveloped in each other’s bodies,

with sparks of hope and desire in our souls.

“where were you the day trump got elected?”

they’ll ask.

i came home to calls ringing my phone,

a worried and anxious voice on the other line,

watching the numbers continuously

go up and up

for him.

i held out hope

that the swing states would come around,

and realize that his policy?

his demeanor?

himself?!

was a terrible, terrible idea:

“where were you the day trump got elected?”

i kept waking up

in the middle of the night,

too scared to check my phone for the results.

i hoped and wished that things

would have turned around from last night,

that maybe she had pulled through.

i refused to crack open my phone,

until i walked out of my room

to my mother standing in the hallway,

announcing that he had won.

she gave me a high-five,

and later

my father drove his car down the highway proudly,

boasting about what trump would fix,

and critiquing her propaganda.

i sat idly,

agreeing with whatever he said,

hoping and wishing

that the day trump got elected

wouldn’t be the day i would lose my rights,

that i would lose myself.

[sapfromsaplings]

Monday, October 21, 2024

6:43 a.m.

your touch

courses through me,

like the sun through the clouds,

the fish through the sea,

the water through the pipe.

we don’t care

about how little room we have,

when our legs touch.

your hand in mine,

my hand in yours,

as your fingertips graze my knuckles,

slow, gentle, moving.

your head on my shoulder

ignites something inside of me,

a sort of protectiveness about you,

that makes me never want to let you go.

i could sit here with you

forever,

in this park,

in this train,

on this bus,

with your touch

and your presence

and your hands

and your eyes

and your beauty.

so it kills me

when you have to lift your head away,

when i have to let go of your pretty hands,

when i can’t turn to the side

and see your gorgeous face anymore,

when you have to leave,

and traces of your touch

linger on my body.

[sapfromsaplings]

“he is”

(October 21, 2024)

tall is he,

who stomps into advisory every morning,

with talk of dreading the day ahead.

amusing is he,

who shares hilarious banter with his friends,

who finds every opportunity to poke the silliest fun at me,

and laugh at my puzzled reactions.

mysterious is he,

the presence of a man who is so there,

but really isn’t here,

who goes silent when he’s upset,

worn,

tired

is he when faced with the reality of school,

the demanding loads of work scattered into his palms,

and the jaws of a system that intends to

keep us at work, work, work.

admirable is he,

a poet who understands how to write, write, write,

his words deliberate

and evoking electrifying emotion from those who read the lines of his poetry.

he is he,

a man of many faces,

yet a powerful, joyful force to be around,

his legacy forever cemented into the corners

of my mind.

he is a man

he is a friend

he is a poet

he is he,

now seventeen.

[sapfromsaplings]

“pretty name”

(October 8, 2024)

when i was at my club,

he asked for us to think of a pretty word,

and it only took me a split second

to think of your name.

it was a no-brainer:

it sounds nice,

looks nice,

and belongs to a nice person.

i almost worried that

i wouldn’t find a muse

to write about you.

i felt comfortable,

always reassured enough,

never worrying,

never questioning enough,

to feel like i had to write things out.

now i see your notification,

see your name

everywhere i go,

and my heart dances with the butterflies.

[sapfromsaplings]

“neighbor”

(September 24, 2024)

i always wondered

what you thought of me

as we crossed the street together

(but not together).

i wondered if you ever heard me

spit and curse at the drivers

who would try to run us over,

or if you noticed me

sitting on the ground

after a long, long day.

you always looked recognizable,

but i never knew from where,

the face of someone i might’ve known,

until our friend started talking to you

at the station,

and eventually,

merged us into one.

juniors were scary,

unwavering in their disdain of us,

and we hated them right back.

snobbish, obnoxious, arrogant:

but you were never one of them.

you were someone who held sympathy for our grade,

for how the system treated us,

for how the system messed with our lives,

for how we were blamed for something we had no control over.

it was nice to know

that an upperclassman supported us,

that an upperclassman stood with us.

the freshie was a closed-off person,

who found her comfort in basketball,

in dark, tiring train rides,

in our mutual connection from the past,

and i always noticed she was hesitant to open up

to strangers,

to people she didn’t know.

but with you guys,

i could tell she warmed up to you fast,

because of you.

your demeanor leaves no room to misinterpret how you feel,

and your presence never deems you unapproachable.

where’s the anger? nowhere to be seen.

the hatred? the arrogance? invisible!

someone who keeps her composure,

someone who has wisdom beyond her years

(from trial and error):

that’s why i respect and admire you so much.

an older sister,

a guide who knows about our neighborhood, our school, our teachers, my mom!,

who genuinely knows more about me than myself,

is truly the best thing i could ask for.

so glad i met you so soon,

so sad i met you so late,

i’m not ready for the reality that

i won’t see you on that red, old bench next year:

with food,

with your lunch bag,

with your presence.

what am i gonna do,

on a nice, sunny day

or while the sky cries too much,

when i’m waiting at the bus stop,

waiting to see your bag cross the street,

only to realize

it’s never coming?

what’s a bus ride without you, neighbor?

[sapfromsaplings]

Wednesday, September 4, 2024

9:41 p.m.

i pass you in the hall,

your green ends hardly evident

underneath that brown hair of yours.

i was surprised

when you said hi,

but i didn’t care for more than the casual convo you brought up.

you’ve changed:

i don’t see that excitement to see me anymore,

or that twinkle in your eye to do something mischievous and great.

you hang downstairs from time to time,

sometimes on the roof,

and although i don’t really want to talk to you right now,

i wonder what goes through your mind nowadays.

i’m curious to know why you responded the way you did.

was it trauma?

fear?

reciprocation?

embarrassment?

i wonder,

i really do.

[sapfromsaplings]

“second days”

(August 27, 2024)

on the second day of freshman year,

you came up to us

in that hot, irritating biology room,

and asked for our names.

i was intimidated by your presence,

and the power you seemed to have over anything you put your mind to.

but with time,

you became friends

with a bunch of newbies

who didn’t know what they were getting into at this school,

and with time,

you became the leader of a friend group

who looked to you as a guide,

a beacon of hope,

in the midst of an ever-going,

ever-changing high school life.

i never remembered myself getting so close to somebody

before you,

but you taught me a lot

about the experience of friendship.

as 14-year-olds,

we were bound to

fight over the silliest situations,

and make up

and break up

again,

and again,

and again.

so i don’t regret

the gifts i bought you,

the poems i wrote about you,

and the time i spent with you.

on the second day of sophomore year,

we still had assigned seats

in that smelly, crowded middle school room,

but we sat across from each other.

you chatted with us when you could,

but we didn’t share a day anymore.

you had her

and her

to tag along with.

i minded that a bit,

when i realized we weren’t as close anymore,

that we wouldn’t be as close as before,

that we were growing.

we separated for a while,

but when we reunited,

we were stronger than ever.

your prior description of her

spooked me a lil,

but she soon became someone

i could tease and bully

whenever she would walk into the room with you.

i became used to seeing

you two leave in a hurry

for orchestra,

or craft an excuse to skip that dreaded advisory period.

it was amusing,

it is amusing

seeing you two almost conjoined at the hip,

like we once were.

soon you became inspired by the other girl,

the two of them,

to do better.

today is the second day of junior year,

and it’s your birthday.

i never thought

i would ever see you so unenthusiastic

for a birthday.

yesterday, on the first day,

you sat in the corner with those two girls

i’ve grown to tease and chat with in the hallways.

i was surprised when i walked into the room

to see you away,

but i was unbothered.

we’ve grown, we’re close,

and we’re healthy.

we don’t share an hour, but we’re unbothered.

so when i open my phone, i’ll smile

because no matter what, i know you’ll be there.

[sapfromsaplings]

“‘a ray of sunshine,’"

(June 15, 2024)

was what my sibling said was their first impression of you, when they first met you on the train, when you rushed up to us in your yellow, flowery dress.

i can’t think of any better way to describe you. you are a ray of sunshine, your smile ever radiant and glowing in any room you’re in. during the days when we were tired and depressed after long days of school, or when we were positive and upbeat, your energy never faded. you kept us going, you gave the advice we needed to hear, you would make us laugh, you never failed to make our days better.

i cried in front of you, you were so sweet to me. you cried in front of her, she was so sweet to you. it must’ve been hard as a senior to keep that appearance up, with so many little faces looking up at you as a big sister, a mentor, a ray of sunshine.

we love you. i love you. you are loved.

what’s a train ride without you?

[sapfromsaplings]

Announcement

Hey guys! As of right now, I've gone through all my collection of poems throughout the years that I wanted to share with the world. That means uploads from here-on-out are going to be more spontaneous and inconsistent. I put out the same message on my Instagram a couple days ago, but that platform might get some of the poems I only posted here. I will post poems as I complete them and see them fit to share (you might be seeing a lot more prompt poems since those are the easiest to write). Thank you all for your continued support for my poetry! I will never stop writing or posting, so don't worry about me being gone! Until the next post, see ya!

[sapfromsaplings]

CW: slight cursing

"psychic"

(August 3, 2024)

Write a poem to your 13-year-old self with advice for living a good life (or avoiding heartache).

aspen, you won’t recognize that name yet, but you’re in eighth grade. you’re on the field hockey team, you’re meeting tons of your peers, and you kinda like this girl. you’re the happiest you’ve felt in your life. homework is light, you’re getting out of your shell, and you feel like you belong.

tread carefully.

enjoy field hockey while you can, put your all into it. stay close to those you’ve befriended. and that girl? don’t do any stupid shit. keep her in your life no matter what, have your first kiss, and don’t let her leave your heart.

…it’s december. high school essays are to be done soon, you forgot all about your ex, and you kinda fancy this other girl. your classmates invited you out to a movie, and she even wrote your parents a letter.

don’t worry.

no stressing about the essay, the school you go to will be fine. your ex isn’t out of your life yet, but don’t allow yourself to be played with. try and stay friends with the girl, no matter what happens.

…aspen, you won’t recognize that name yet, but it’s february. you feel a little different nowadays, you’re questioning everything, and your ex is here again.

no matter.

you’ll understand more when you turn 14.

[sapfromsaplings]

Monday, July 29, 2024

Write a haiku: Pick any topic but limit yourself to the traditional haiku form.

I am only a man, trying to survive by myself all alone.

[sapfromsaplings]

"a born writer"

(July 24, 2024)

Write about why you want to write.

i’m a born writer. ever since i could understand the concept of a pencil to paper, i wrote. my teachers said i wrote too much all the time, my peers were in awe of my ability to express myself on paper, and i just took writing as something easy to do, something my subconscious already knew. but i wasn’t a poet until eighth grade, when life hit me the hardest it had and i couldn’t seem to express myself in any other way except writing. now my writing collection is in the hundreds, pen and paper converted to a keyboard and screen, and my talent of writing a poem in minutes soaring. this prompt is easy: i write to express myself, to speak for those who can’t turn feelings into words, to make my mark in this world, because i was born to.

[sapfromsaplings]

Sunday, July 21, 2024

12:38 a.m.

i still look for you in every person i meet.

[sapfromsaplings]

"let her go"

(July 8, 2024)

dude, i really liked you. i really like you. i thought that you would be the one to break the cycle of constant pain, suffering, and rejection my crushes have put me through, but now i realize you’re not the one. you won’t be the one. you can’t be the one.

i’ve also realized that i’d rather keep my peace, and never say anything, than to confess something stupid, something you don’t feel for me, and risk jeopardizing our beautiful friendship. dude, i love talking to you. i love our jokes, our spontaneous texts and conversations, the care we have for each other, and the way we unite and work together.

i can’t risk that, not over some stupid feeling, that you don’t feel.

so, dude, i will keep my peace, and i won’t say a word. things will proceed as normal, for you, and i will wallow in this pain, in this suffering, in this rejection, for the rest of eternity. until i get over it. until i get over you.

because, if there’s a chance, i’ll let her go. because, if it’s the right person wrong time, i’ll let her go. because, if she really cares and i really care, i’ll let her go. because, if i really like her, i’ll let you go.

[sapfromsaplings]

Saturday, July 6, 2024

12:23 a.m.

the image of you, the visions of your presence, in my brain could never compete with how my eyes capture you when in real life.