sortingmyideas

[sortingmyideas]

Its really infuriating how common it is to overstep, ignore and ridicule the boundaries of people who want non-romantic sex / sexual relationships. Yes, including if they’re alloromantic.

It doesn’t matter how open you are about your boundaries around romance and love; how often you repeat to whoever you fuck that you don’t want romance, that you won’t fall for them, etc., once they fall in love with you, you are the bad guy for not loving them back, for not wanting a romantic relationship, for not ~getting over your fear of commitment~

And when you point out how fucked up that is to people who’ll call themselves allies to aromantic people, often they’ll respond "well, they never said they were aromantic!" Cause like. Hot take i guess but alloromantic people don’t deserve to be forced into romantic relationships, either. If the only way you can accept someone not wanting a romantic relationship is if they’re aromantic, know they’re aromantic, and will out themself to you unprompted, you don’t actually accept that decision, like, at all. Because that person, yknow, could very well be aromantic and just they haven’t told anyone because they don’t want to, because it wouldn’t be safe, or even just because they don’t fucking know because aromanticism is still a very unknown thing.

And even if they’re not, this type of treatment is still incredibly fucked up in exactly the same way! Because guess what, alloromantic people can be romance repulsed, too! And it’s not something that needs to be fixed for them, either!!

It shouldn’t be so fucking normal for people to publicly boast about how they "tricked" or pressured or just straight-up forced their sexual partners into a romantic relationship and be celebrated for it as if that shit was even remotely funny. It’s disgusting.

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I have no clue why joking about sexually assaulting children seems to be getting more commen lately, but just know that if you joke about that or find it funny I don't trust you and I WILL be avoiding you.

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If you hear of a character being romance/sex repulsed and your first thought is to try to debunk or ignore it, fuck you.

If you hear of a character being aro/ace and your first thought is to say it's not canon because it wasn't explicitly stated in the media they're in (even if it was confirmed by the creator), fuck you.

If you hear of a character being romance/sex repulsed and your first thought is to say that character is boring/lonely/sad/evil because of that, fuck you.

It's almost comical how fandom is largely filled with people who claim to support aro/aces until their favorite character happens to be aro/ace. Then it's every excuse under the sun to ignore that or better yet, claim it's not canon.

A lot of you don't give that same treatment to gay characters, so you might wanna figure out why you're so okay with doing it to these ones.

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Aphobia starts to resurface again and im wondering if you have some great, in-depth articles and/or statics about the abuse and discrimination we face.

Thanks!

Hello, wild bananas! We apologize for how long it took to get back to you. Things have been busy lately, but we found quite a few articles for you:

https://academicworks.cuny.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1050&context=jj_etds

https://inews.co.uk/opinion/groundbreaking-asexuality-project-stonewall-culture-warriors-1592960

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It’s not even about Yelena.

It’s what allos’ eagerness to erase her identity (with fanworks but far more importantly with a PETITION) says about what they really think about aspec identities.

We can exist as long as we’re invisible. As long as we don’t have rep who isn’t a side character no one cares about. As long as we can pass as allos—“aros and aces can want romance and sex!”

So basically we can exist as long as we don’t fight the status quo, as long as (some) allo people don’t have to look at themselves and confront their amatonormativity.

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Mostly, good post about aroace characters in fandom spaces but i hope you know that lesbian characters do get the same treatment too a lot of the time!

Never said they didn't.

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It's really disappointing to see other aspec people defend aphobia in fandom spaces.

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You need to start saying "it's a spectrum, some arod date and some aces have sex" about characters that are canonically allo cause if that's how it is with canonically aro and ace characters then I'm sure it goes both ways

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Me: oh cool! a canon aroace spectrum character that is well fleshed out. I never seen rep of someone with the same sexuality as me. I hope the fandom appreciates this queer representation.

The fandom: *one of the most shipped characters* ArOaCe PeOpLe StIlL dAtE!!1!

Me: ...

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“Shipping aroace characters isn’t aphobia, some aroace people can feel romantic and sexual attraction!”

Hey, aroace person here who feels romantic and sexual attraction! Stop it. At least acknowledge that some people experience romantic and sexual attraction differently. It’s not the same as being allo. Don’t act like it can be treated the same way.

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Oh these are pretty!

forgot what these are called but i made a few

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Worlds biggest fuck you to the person I just saw posting a petition to CHANGE YELENAS CANON IDENTITY FROM AROACE TO A LESBIAN AS ITS “more realistic” AND “aroaces don’t do anything”

Hey, that’s more than just shipping her. That’s erasure all the way down. That’s aphobic. No excuses for you or anyone who signs that petition, get off my blog.

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omggg guys i have a crush.....

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Actually every character ever is aromantic and/or asexual. Every single one of them.

Married? Platonic and/or tax benefits. Fucking? Friends with benefits.

Aros can still date and aces can still have sex, right? Great! Every allo character is now ace and/or aro! I am going to be so fucking annoying with this.

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Ok but are we SURE sexual attraction is real? Idk, seems kinda fake to me. Are we ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN there isn’t a communication error going on somewhere??? I’m not convinced