superstar027

[superstar027]

“She’s so smart! It’s like she’s the descendant of Einstein or something!”

“She’s so pretty. I swear every guy in our school has had a crush on her at some point.”

“She’s so nice! She helped me finish my schoolwork yesterday!”

The halls were filled with the usual ruckus about me and my charming good deeds. I mean, who could blame them? It’s not every day that they encounter someone as perfect and as kind as me! Beautiful inside, and out!

“Hey, Tsukki!”

“Tsukishima!”

I clench my teeth as I hear the irritating shrieks of my classmates towards Tsukishima Kei. Me and Tsukishima have a rivalry although some might say it’s completely one-sided, I beg to differ. He has been meddling in every little thing or project I do in such subtle ways that others may not even be able to recognize it! For example, at the last school festival I took charge of the banner for the class along with Tsukishima. On the very last day of making it, there was this tiny paint speck on the corner that threw me off and irritated me the whole day! What’s worse is that he’s acting like nothing is happening! He’s not even that good if I’m being honest. He ignores almost everyone and doesn’t even help people! Yet, he’s still more popular and recognized than me. Shit’s unfair. He struts right in front of me, domineering over me with his height. He shot a glance at me and for a moment I saw his smug smirk. My eyebrows furrowed before I started smiling again. I can’t let my reputation be ruined by him.

It’s a relief that me and Tsukishima are in different classes. That way I can only see his irritating face in the halls. Enough about him, let’s talk about my new club! Since I am now a senior, I have the opportunity to establish my very own literature club! Books have always been a passion for me. My mother introduced books to me when I was very young. We were never rich so we never had the luxury of TV or cable stuff like that. My mother used to steal books from the family she cleaned for and would give them to me for entertainment. That basically jump started me towards my first love, literature; and that's also why I hold this club very near and dear to my heart. God, I can already imagine all the people nervously anticipating my entrance! I walk slowly towards the door and opened it to be met with... Silence? This doesn't make sense! There's supposed to be a lot of people here... Do people nowadays really don't care about literature? At the corner of my eyes I spot the familiar blond locks I hate to see. There, in between the book shelfs was Tsukishima Kei, reading silently before looking up at me and then rolling his eyes back to his book.

What the hell?! As if people not joining my club was bad enough! Now I have to deal with this fucker?! I could feel myself slowly exploding but I defused it before it could grow any bigger. What good would it cause if I drove away the only member of my club? In fact... I could even use him to revive it!

Operation: Endure the Enemy starts NOW!

A trailer for what's to comee!! I hope you guys are all excited as much as I am!! I swearrr I'll update more often from now on!! Another thing, I have a tiktok now! Go check out @superstar00027 for updates and stuff!

[superstar027]

𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫 [toji zenin]

synopsis: so she tells him not to cry over the injustice of a life cut too short for at the end of all this, she’ll only be a dream.

pairing: ex-husband!toji fushiguro x terminally ill wife!reader | song inspo: soon you’ll get better, cancer

warnings: heavy angst, terminal illness (primary bone cancer, stroke and MS), mentions of divorce/past infidelity, allegories to cheating, major character death. please read at your own risk. | a/n: this was so heavy for me to write, i started writing at 2 in the morning, and it’s 6:34 now.

word count. 3k~

“Why can’t you do anything right?”

Toji should have noticed, he laments as he takes a sip of his cognac. He should have sensed that something was wrong sooner, maybe that way, he wouldn’t be begging to borrow some more time to make things right. Your fingers were trembling that day — the first time you ever ruined his morning coffee — your hands shaking uncontrollably as you washed the mug with a sorrowful look on your face, your eyes glossy with the tears you were desperately trying to hold back.

He shouldn’t have been so harsh, he realizes that now. Breakfast had been burnt to a crisp and ruined, sure, but nothing could compare to how he constantly ruins the one beautiful thing that has ever happened to him, who haphazardly spilled her smoothie on him when they first bumped into each other in Shinjuku just after he finally cashed in enough money with Shiu to get his laundry done.

Toji, whose senses have now been honed to pick up on the slightest of your sluggish movements and your pained and suppressed hisses, hears the bedsheets rustling and he instantly gets up before you could even force yourself out of bed. “Hey, hey, easy now.” He catches you before you could fall backwards onto the mattress, your skin appears cold and clammy, your thinning muscles stiff as a board — you must be having one of your episodes again. “What do you need?” he asks, his voice heartbreakingly gentle for the first time in months.

“Water.”

Your husband nods, swinging his feet over the edge of the bed, hurriedly making his way to the dining table which was now kept in your bedroom so you aren’t forced to move around too much. The sound of water splashing into the glass fills the air and you feel another stabbing pain coarse through your joints.

Toji gingerly brings the glass of water to your lips and you sighed, an exasperated yet amused smile on your face. “I can do it, babe. Don’t worry.” Why did that sound like you were trying to convince not just Toji but yourself? You bring your bony hands to grip the glass and it takes everything out of your husband not to break into a fit of sobs when he sees your hand violently shaking with effort just to keep the glass steady.

His larger hands close around your defeated one. “I-I…I can do it, I did it yesterday. Y-you saw me.”

“Shhh, I know, it’s okay.”

You bite your lip to distract yourself from the anguish of realizing the truth behind the doctor’s words. Everything you feared was finally becoming your and Toji’s bleak reality.

“It’ll be a painful decline.”

Funny how you’re the one fighting to extend your life but Toji feels like he’s already gone ahead and passed on. Just a few minutes earlier, you were overjoyed to see him again. You didn’t think he’d see your text thinking that his new girlfriend must have asked him to block your number, and you most certainly didn’t expect him to arrive when you asked for him via a brief phone call to drive you to the hospital for your monthly checkup since he took the car with him when you separated. He made up a bullshit excuse when Yuko asked where he was going in such a hurry and he makes it to your old shared apartment to see you sitting on the driveway looking thinner and sicklier than ever — your eyes were sunken, and your cheeks were hollow.

Yet in spite of that, you gave him the brightest of smiles, waving shyly to him as he steps out of the driver’s seat. “Happy morning!” you smiled, greeting him with your signature good morning tagline which he used to happily wake up to everyday. There wasn’t a scintilla of resentfulness in your demeanor, and you genuinely looked so happy to see him for the first time since he moved out.

“How long?” Toji asked the doctor, his heart twisted into knots when he hears you happily humming in the MRI room as you put your clothes back on, oblivious to the solemn mood in the other room. You already knew what was going on, but you’ll just continue pretending that everything’s alright and that this is nothing more but a case of fatigue so as not to inconvenience Toji.

“A year, maybe even less.”

“And…you’re saying it’s best if she simply…doesn’t get the treatment?”

The doctor sighs heavily. She’s seen many cases like this before, but none as utterly hopeless as yours. Even if you did start the treatment, the lesions in your spinal cord have already entered the most severe stage, you were already exhibiting signs of autonomic nervous system distress — the tremors, the uncontrollable stuttering of your words, the growing loss of balance — and as if that wasn’t enough, the doctor also discovers that you were suffering from primary osteosarcoma.

There was no way to cure you now that it’s too late.

“I suggest we just focus on keeping her comfortable. The only thing left for us to do now is to bring her home. I’m so sorry.”

“You’re so fucking embarrassing. I can’t bring you anywhere.”

By some miracle, you and Toji went out one night around four months before the divorce proceedings. He went home that day, exhausted beyond all belief from another mission, and he was in a good mood. Yuko was out working late tonight, so, he decides to take you out to your and his favorite izakaya for some yakitori.

Some time during the night, after downing three full bottles of sake together, you excuse yourself to use the restroom. “I’ll be right back,” you told Toji, tipsily kissing him on the cheek as you hop off the bar stool in the direction of the women’s room.

You couldn’t tell if you were staggering from the copious amounts of alcohol you ingested, but your legs were beginning to feel heavy, and for some ominous reason, you were slowly losing all sensation in your left leg. You try to hold onto one of the izakaya’s shōji panel decor pieces to regain your balance, but it was a futile effort in the end. Your knees suddenly buckle, and a sickening crack tears through your tibia as you fall to the ground.

“Are you alright?!”

Toji picks up on the commotion instantly and he sees the izakaya patrons crowding around the hallway leading to the restroom. He quickly makes his way over and a look of disgust appears on his features when he sees you crumpled on the ground and the mortifying sight of you having relieved yourself on the floor, tears of embarrassment staining your cheeks at the thought of your body suddenly malfunctioning like this.

Muttering out an ignorant apology for his seemingly drunk wife, he roughly picks you up, growing increasingly infuriated with you when one izakaya employee offers him a damp cloth to dry out your urine with. It was funny how quickly other people came to your aid — people whose names you don’t even know — while your own husband seems very reluctant to even touch you right now. He doesn’t speak to you on the way home even as you apologize while he’s loading you into the car, grimacing when the leather seat gets wet. “Toji, I-I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened—“

“—Save it.”

What he should have said was: “Are you okay?”, “It’s alright.” or better yet, “I still love you.”.

At present, Toji decides on a whim to take you to Yokohama’s famed bayside today. It’s only a two hour drive from your place in Tokyo and Toji figures you must miss going on road trips by now with you cooped up at home all the time. “Toji, are you sure this is a good idea?” you murmured nervously as the car pulls to a stop by the bayside promenade. What happens if you can’t control yourself again? There doesn’t look to be a lot of public restrooms nearby.

Toji plants a reassuring kiss to your nose. “Babe, you remember what the doctor said, spending some time outdoors can do wonders for your health. Besides, didn’t you always love the coast?” He brings your hand to his scarred lips, rubbing his thumb against the soft skin before stepping out of the car to retrieve your wheelchair from the trunk.

“I know but what if I have another accident?” you said worriedly, rolling down the car windows so he could hear you. “What if I embarrass you again?”

“There’s nothing embarrassing about you.”

You’ve lost all control of your lower extremities three months ago, rendering you unable to walk and feel when you need to relieve yourself. Toji struggles with the wheelchair for a bit and a flash of sadness fills your heart when you see him take a few deep breaths to calm himself down. He wasn’t angry, he was devastated. He looks wistfully at the boardwalk, a distant gaze trained on the sea. He remembers when you used to walk down this very lane, his hand protectively around your waist as you happily take selfies. He could still hear your fond giggles the last time the two of you went here.

“Why don’t you ever smile when I take pictures of you?”

Toji shoos away a pigeon from stealing a bite of his ice cream sandwich. He feigns an unamused look when you try to take another picture of him on your phone.

“Come on, I’ve been trying to get a shot of you all day! You still have to take pictures of me so I can post it on my Instagram feed!”

Your ever moody husband pinches off a small piece of bread and feeds it to the nosy pigeon. “You and your precious feed,” he bemoans jokingly.

“Please? Just one picture!“ you playfully nudged him. Truthfully, you just wanted to see him smile for once, a genuine one and not one of those lopsided smirks he usually gives you when he’s teasing you. “Please?” you pout knowing he can never say no to that adorable face you make when you really want him to do something or worse, buy something for you.

Sighing, he turns to look at your phone’s camera lens and you blush when a smile slowly illuminates his usually stoic face. Your thumb hovers over the stop recording function, not realizing you’re taking a video, but you can’t seem to press it. “What’s taking so long?” he holds the smile like he’s some cartoon character and you snap out of it.

“Oh shoot, it’s a video!” you laughed, and you begin to run down the boardwalk, eagerly getting away from Toji who demands that you delete it immediately. Of course, you’re no match for his borderline inhuman speed attributed to his athletic physique and he catches you by the waist, playfully swinging you over his shoulder like you’re a sack of potatoes.

Now, your giggles have gone silent.

Toji realizes now he should have indulged you more over the course of your relationship and subsequent marriage. Had he known that you won’t even make it to your third wedding anniversary, he would have allowed you to take as many pictures and videos of him as you’d like, he’d swallow his pride and he’d give you the brightest of smiles so you could happily post him on your social media accounts with a heartwarming caption about him being your “smiley hubby”.

More than that though, he should have taken more photos of you, mostly stolen candid shots, of course. You can’t catch him being all soft on you now. He still has a reputation to live up to after all. But more than that, had he known that your illness was intent on stealing every scrap of you from him, he should have made more effort in preserving all these memories. He should have kept everything from those toll tickets on your late night drives together when the two of you just needed a quick escape from the world, to receipts from your trip to Tokyo Disney Sea on your first wedding anniversary, and even simple convenience store receipts.

Toji should have kept everything down to the smallest of memories knowing one day, that’s all he’ll have to remember you by.

He opens the passenger seat’s door and he effortlessly gathers you into his arms, being extra careful with your fragile form as he sits you down on the wheelchair. He opens the backseat and he pulls out two different colored blankets, one sea-foam green and the other, rose pink. “Take your pick,” he smiles at you and you chuckled softly, pointing to the rose pink one. He happily covers your legs with it to keep you warm, stroking your cheek when you whisper a bashful ‘thank you’.

Suddenly, the wind picks up and your hair-clip that’s holding your locks in a low bun comes loose, and your head turns in the direction of where it flew off to. Toji is quick to take out his phone and he snaps a quick burst shot of you, your hair blowing in the wind, under the coastal spring weather. You turn to look at him and your face falls when you see him burying his phone in his pocket. Since you fell ill, you’ve become insecure of your appearance, banning your husband from taking pictures and videos of you altogether. “Toji, I thought I said no pictures.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The next day, you serendipitously find your photo on your Instagram handle with the caption: “Y/N — Yokohama, Spring, 2024” and when you swipe left, another picture, well to be more accurate, a screenshot of the video clip you accidentally took of him captioned: “Toji — Yokohama, Summer, 2022”.

“You don’t have to stick around for me. Please just go, I’m sure Yuko must be looking for you right now.”

Yuko, his new fiancé, had been blowing up his phone the entire day with texts demanding to know where he is and if he’s going to make it to their date that night. It’s 7 PM now, and Toji still hasn’t shown up to confirm their restaurant reservations. The damn witch will surely cuss him out when they see each other again, but for some reason, even if he tries, he simply cannot bring himself to give a flying fuck. Your immunologist and oncologist stepped out for a bit to allow you two a brief moment of privacy which had now stretched to an expanse of five hours since your results came in.

The air in the room is thick and heavy, not a single sound can be heard. Inside however, underneath this tough exterior he was projecting, Toji is throwing a fit, screaming at the sky like those broken men in those shitty Netflix romance tragedies he used to callously make fun of.

“Why didn’t you call me sooner? You knew, didn’t you?”

Toji’s bites his cheek trying to keep a lid on his emotions. He knows the answer. He just wants to hear you say it out loud. You hated him. You wanted nothing to do with him after he cheated on you with some girl he met at a bar in uptown Shibuya. That’s why you didn’t tell him, he didn’t deserve to know. “Shit,” he whispers harshly, crumpling the medical abstract in his hands. “Why didn’t you tell me you were sick? Was it because you hated me? Is that it? You didn’t think I’d worry about you?”

You screwed your eyes shut, shaking your head. You didn’t hate him, not even when you have every reason to. He abandoned you, left you to waste away and to die and yet, even now, you can’t bring yourself to resent him for the simple reason that he is the literal love of your life, the reason behind your smiles, your happy mornings and passionate midnight hours. “At first, I thought I was fine, maybe just fatigued or something.”

“Don’t lie. You knew something was going on and that something in your body was seriously fucked up.”

“And we weren’t married anymore so, I didn’t think it was right to tell you…I wanted to though, but I didn’t want to intrude on you and Yuko,” you said meekly. Even in your greatest hour of need, you were still thinking of him, putting him first even when he doesn’t deserve it. “I-I…I don’t hate you enough to worry you, to make you feel that you could have done something to prevent this. Because I’m telling you right now, regardless if you were faithful or not, I was bound to get sick anyway. You couldn’t have done anything to change that.”

“But I could have been there. I should have noticed. I shouldn’t have downplayed everything.” He says this as if he wants to shake this noble, self-sacrificing bullshit attitude out of your system. “I’m your husband. I should have been there.”

You flash him a heartbroken smile at his little slip-up, so, even now, he was still referring to himself as your husband, not your ex-husband. “To see me waste away? Babe, I don’t want you to see that.”

You begin to feel tears streaming down your face, the emotions you were experiencing now flowing like a free river after an entire dam is destroyed. Toji watches you unravel before his eyes and his bottom lip begins to tremble. What has he done? Dear god, what has he done to his poor, poor wife?

“I want you to remember me healthy, I want you to remember me as myself not this…sickly pitiful woman you’re unlucky to call your ex-wife…besides, after all this, I’ll only be a dream.” A mere passing second in his life. “And believe me, my life wasn’t so bad.”

He loses it at that.

“Just stop this, Y/N! Stop acting like you’re not scared shitless of dying, like you’re not gonna have regrets once all this is over! Stop pretending that things are gonna be alright one day because it won’t! Not when I’m now being forced to accept that you won’t get better, not when I’ve wasted so much time putting you through hell and back instead of taking care of you like a proper husband should, and certainly not when I’m suddenly supposed to learn to say goodbye and to live without you! Because fuck that, Y/N!”

You are left speechless at that.

Toji was never one to lose his cool, even during your worst arguments, he may slide a few snarky remarks here and there but Toji Fushiguro…never yells, and he doesn’t sob either.

You hesitantly stand up and walk over to him, crouching down in front of him as he covers his tear-stained eyes with his right hand while the other is crumpled around your medical abstract. Taking his left hand, you gently remove the medical abstract from his grip, and for the first time in so many months, you feel one another’s warm skin against each other. You press your forehead to his hand as you wept with him.

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to be a dream. I want you to be real.”

“Can’t you be bothered to clean up in here?!”

You wake up from your nap, you’ve been battling muscle and joint pain the entire day, the slightest of movement causing you to double over in agony and because of that, you weren’t able to clean the apartment today. You slowly get up from the couch, being extra cautious not to make any sudden movements. “Well?” Toji presses, his lips curled into a scowl.

“I’m sorry, I was feeling a little tired,” you sighed heavily, picking up a broom to sweep the living room floor despite the excruciating pain you were in. Toji rolls his eyes, handing you a Manila envelope. “What’s this?” you asked softly, peering inside.

“Divorce papers,” he shrugs nonchalantly. Everything stops, even the very rise and fall of your chest halts into an uneasy stasis. “I already signed them. I just need your signature then, I’ll move out by tomorrow.”

You must be dreaming. That’s the only logical explanation to all this. You’re asleep, in a deep REM sleep, utterly oblivious to the world. This wasn’t happening. But you could feel the rough surface of the brown envelope, and you could still feel the agonizing stabs of white hot pain throughout your body. Glancing at Toji, you see him texting someone with an eager look on his face that screams: “I’m free.”.

Instantly, it dawns on you.

“Will she make you happy?” you asked, putting down the broom to look around for a pen but Toji pulls one he stole from the law firm office out of his pocket.

“She will,” he answers simply.

And you are indeed grateful that he is completely upfront about finding another while the two of you are married. It would have hurt much more, you silently remind yourself, if he had just upped and left without another word leaving you to wonder what went wrong between the two of you. This was Toji’s final act of mercy in your marriage, and he’s not opposed to honesty and truthfulness either. Not once did he try to change his phone’s lock-screen passcode, nor did he try to conceal the identity of the woman who was texting him every night while you slept fitfully next to him. It was almost as if he wanted you to find out, like he wanted you to know so you could back off yourself.

But if there’s one thing Toji loves about you, it’s your unending faithfulness to your promises, to your marriage vows, and your willingness to endure anything he threw at you. You never checked his phone, you never brought up his affair, you never got angry with him. You just kept silent, simply content with giving and giving…and giving while he milked you dry by taking, and taking and taking, tearing you to pieces bit by bit without hearing a single complaint fall from your lips.

You were a devoted wife, through and through.

And it bored the hell out of him, on top of your recent mishaps, he was done. Done with everything, and done with you.

“Okay.”

Come morning, he takes everything he owns with him and promptly proposes to the girl he’s been seeing for the past year. Two weeks later, your divorce is received by the Tokyo Family Court and is summarily approved and finalized. From that moment on, you and Toji went on your separate ways never to look back, you were each other’s yesterdays, and the love that existed between the two of you was nullified in favor of acquaintanceship…or so you thought.

“Y/N, I’m home!” Toji calls into the house as he comes back from your neighborhood’s pharmacy. You look up from the book you were reading, smiling ever so slightly at your husband who seemed to have a wonderful sparkle in his eyes. “Hey, kid,” he kisses the top of your head when he reaches your wheelchair.

“You seem happy,” you remarked positively.

“Well, for one, they replenished their stocks today and I managed to get you your steroids and painkillers so you’ll be able to sleep easy tonight,” Toji smiles, taking out the items from the pharmacy’s paper bag. “And I got you this neat memory foam cushion for your wheelchair.” He fluffs it up as a form of demonstration before placing it behind your back.

When he sees you smile, a sense of relief washes over Toji. You reach towards him, and he pulls you into an embrace. “Thank you,” you said, pure sincerity dripping from your voice. “For everything you do.”

“Anything for you.” He suddenly moves back and reaches into the tote bag you lended him. “Oh, and wait, before I forget, I have another surprise.”

You laughed airily. “Another surprise? Now, you’re just spoiling me!”

He pulls out a piece of paper from the tote bag and he places it in your hands as your eyes quickly scan over the document. Your breath hitches in your throat when you realize what it is. Did Toji really—? You couldn’t believe it. “A marriage pre-registration,” you said in awe. You read it again just in case to make sure that this wasn’t a figment of your sick body’s imagination, that this was real, that Toji genuinely wants to make everything right again. Your fingers skim over your typewritten names. “It has our names…we’re really—“ You can’t even finish your sentence without bursting into happy tears. “Are we—?”

Toji nods, gazing into your eyes, and as emerald and (E/C) clash for what seems to be an eternity lost in one another, he plants a kiss to your temple, coming up to embrace you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“We are. The Tokyo Family Court, as far as I know, will approve our remarriage once we file this. So, you have to get stronger, okay?” He’s begging you at this point, despite your rapidly deteriorating condition. “Strong enough to see me fix everything. Strong enough to be there on our second wedding, strong enough to say our vows again.”

Your hand comes up to stroke his cheek from behind, and he nuzzles into your neck at your tender touch.

“I will. I promise.”

But you never really get to say your vows. Not comprehensibly anyway.

“Babe, can you say that again?”

Toji crouches by your bedside as you look at him apologetically. You were causing him trouble and pain again which is the last thing that you want to give him especially when’s fought and worked so hard to care for you, to keep prolonging this borrowed time you’re on. “To-ji. Toji.” You gaze at him apprehensibly, not really believing you can do it without crumbling.

“Come on, babe, you can do it. Say my name, please…Toji. I’m Toji.”

“Toooji-“ you slurred sadly. At this point, your Multiple Sclerosis has reached its end stage and has taken…everything from you: your ability to walk, your ability to control your muscle spasms and other bodily functions…and now, coupled with an unexpected stroke, your ability to speak. And you and Toji know that time is almost up, with you having come to accept it, while your husband still held onto hope. Your fingers gently graze over his face as best as your spasms and tremors allow you, starting from his forehead to his eyes, his nose, his cheek and finally, his lips, as if you’re memorizing it one last time. “Lo-ove you-“

Toji sniffles, and your fingers instinctively catch his warm tears. “I love you,” he whispers brokenly. “I do. I love you.”

You feel yourself tearing up as you’re forced to watch your beloved cry. And the worst part? You can’t do a thing about it. “D-oon’t c-cry—‘m okaay. Promi-miise…e’everyything ‘ill be okaaay.”

“Y-yeah,” he chuckles, trying to crack a joke even as hope dwindles. “You’ve been nothing but a fucking champ this entire time, you know? I’m so proud of you. So…so…proud that you’re still here.” He strokes your hair as you tread between the realms of the conscious and the unconscious. “Do you wanna go out today? The weather’s shit though. You’ll probably catch your death out there.” At the mention of the word ‘death’, Toji stops, falling into an uncomfortable silence.

You smile weakly at him. “Tiiredd—“

“You’re no fun,” Toji gently flicks your nose and you scrunch it up in displeasure. “Sorry,” he chuckles, holding back an entire waterfall of tears. He knows it’s today. It has to be. You woke up today without your usual ‘happy morning’ greeting, and you refused to drink anything, much less eat anything. “You tired? Any pain?”

You shake your head. You’re as comfortable as you can be for the first time in months. Hospice nurses say humans are built to live the same way they are built to die, no person in this world has ever had the uncanny privilege of being able to look up ‘How to die?’ on a quick Google search and actually find a Wikihow on the morbid subject matter, nor is there anyone else who can teach another how it’s done. It’s just something humans know how to do without a manual, deeply ingrained in the very fabric of human existence is the fear of death, the fear of what comes after, the fear of a nothingness that could follow after living such a vibrant life. Your life was short, barely spanning thirty years, but you lived well: you fell in love, you got hurt, but you fell together again. Now it all has to come to an end, Toji will just have to take care of the rest.

And you weren’t scared.

Or at least you can’t look scared, if you were to be more accurate, you have to look strong and ready to accept the cards you’ve been dealt with for Toji’s sake. When he feels your hand start to slacken, Toji intakes a sharp, shaky breath of sheer panic. “Not yet, Y/N. Please. Not yet.”

He climbs into bed with you, bringing you closer to this desperate man you call yours. There was no getting better anymore, there was no miracle he could hang onto, no deity he could beg for death to spare you, no pill bottle he could pray to. He knew that from the start. But what he witnessed these past months, you’ve been the braver one between the two of you, you knew how to make the most of the rhythm this cruel world gave you and you graciously took him along to dance to the last song of the evening with you.

“There’s still hope. Just keep your eyes open. Just keep them open.” He presses his lips to your forehead, his delusion getting the better of him. “We’ll just keep trying…you can’t leave. You have to stay. You have to.”

“Thaank yoou—“ you softly told your Toji, your voice shrinking in decibels as you become a little drowsy, sinking into the warmth of the requiem of a life well spent.

Toji listens to you, his lips pursed, intent on making this final act of love — a love that is strong enough to say goodbye — a memorable one. And should the afterlife exist, he wishes to send you off with a smile, with the reassurance that he’ll be alright even if that was far from happening.

“Toji.”

“I want you to be real. And I don’t care if we’ll live on borrowed time. Another extra second with you…is enough to last me my entire lifetime.”

[superstar027]

------------RUN-----------------

"If his homie won't treat you right, he will."

Your heart beats erratically. What the hell did you just get into again?! Was this just another toxic relationship?! You were walking on eggshells for the longest time around Suguru. You weren’t sure what he could do to you. Was he worse than Sukuna?

Suguru kept you in his apartment. He says it would be better, you would be safer.

You were waiting for Suguru again tonight. He regularly came home late but he came home, unlike Sukuna who would leave you alone for days at a time. It was the bare minimum but you were satisfied with what you had… you were satisfied… right?  SLAM! The loud banging of doors woke you up. You looked over to the bedroom door to see Suguru looking at you with his usual cold demeanor but there was a slight hint of worry. “Get up. We have to go, now.” You immediately stood up and followed him out of the building into his car. He was driving like his life depended on it, and maybe it did. “Suguru, what the fuck is going on?!” You screamed at him as you held on tightly to the seat of the car. His driving made you scared that you were going to fly straight out of the car. “Listen, baby, I know this isn’t the best time to say this but I really fucking love you- Ugh!” He was interrupted by a sharp turn which caused your bodies to slam to the right. “I can’t stand you looking anxious around me-“ “AGH!”  He was interrupted by your scream as you lightly hit his shoulder “Focus on the road Geto­! Focus on the fucking road!!” you shout panicked. Geto stopped in front of a tall building where he then carried you out in his arm, princess carry style. Your heart was beating out of your chest as you struggled to speak or even question the man’s actions. He took you to the very top where a helicopter was waiting for the both of you. You both got in as the helicopter took off.

Suguru took a deep breath of relief. His hair was slightly draping over his head and the moonlight shone so brightly over his eyes. He’s perfect. You suddenly catch him staring at you with a smirk as he laughs. You playfully shoved him with a smile “Nothing’s funny Geto!” You scolded. He smiles over at you and gets closer to your face “My bad baby…” He whispered as he planted a kiss on your forehead. You smile at the warm and familiar feeling of his love. “I know you’ve been anxious around me… but I promise- I promise I’m nothing like Sukuna. I promise I will always cherish you, love, and care for you, and make sure you’re safe at all times.” He kisses your hand and looks up towards you. “But I won’t restrict you of your freedom…” He says as he clutches your head in his hands and looks at you with a shimmer in his eyes. He suddenly held you closer to him, pulling you into a tight hug. “Run away with me baby. Let’s leave the mainland. Let’s go to an island where you and I can exist peacefully. You can even pursue that art career you always wanted yea?” You close your eyes to the sound of his calming voice. You sigh peacefully as you nod into his chest. “Yeah” As soon as you said those words, you felt his heart beat faster as he hugged you even tighter and sprinkled your face with multiple kisses.

It had been a few years since the rollercoaster start of your relationship. You could hear the sound of wedding bells ringing over the small chapel in the small peaceful town. You smiled as the chapel doors opened. Your white dress follows you gracefully. You look over towards the altar to see Geto tearing up as soon as he lays on you. The sight alone made you tear up. You closed your eyes and cherished the moment. This is peace. 

Hii! Author here! SO that was the L ending but I wanna let you guys know what the other endings meant:

L (the one you chose)- LOML ending

W- um you basically enter another toxic relationship

l- you escape from both of them and become an independent artist in the countryside...

Also I know it’s short but I wanna move onto other projects now! Also sorry for the late updates school has been hectic recently and my anemic ass cannot handle that shi- so thank you once again!!  

[superstar027]

RUN ENDING

Hi!! So as some of you may see there are 3 options here to choose from so I'll actually write all of them but one of them is longer than the others and that's the official ending. The other two can be short extras or smthng. Thank you! <33

[superstar027]

~~~~~~~~~RUN~~~~~~~~

"If his homie won't treat you right, he will"

Character: Geto Suguru

TW: Cheating/Infidelity, Toxic Relationship, Car Crash, Death

Note: SFSHGFGHDF Part 2 is finally here!! I know I promised 3 parts but I'm not sure how I want this to end! So, I'll post a poll later! And to my new readers, hi!! To understand Part 2 you really need Part 1

“That’s my girl”

“Wear something pretty and easy to take off”

You chuckled at the message and walked to your closet. You wear your tight navy blue dress with bows and ruffles making you look innocent and seductive all at once. You let your hair loose and you wear a navy-blue smoky eye. You’re making sure that every part of you looks like you belong to Geto and Geto only. Once you heard the front door close it was time to move.

As soon as you arrived you immediately ran into Geto with a sly smirk on his face. “I could rip this dress off you right now if you want…” He said analyzing every inch of your body. You laughed and blushed at his remarks. He went ahead and grabbed your waist walking you to his car. All eyes were on the both of you. You were Sukuna’s girl, what the fuck were you doing with his homie?! They’re convinced you have a death wish. Geto walks you over to his Toyota Supra MK4 in blue that was right beside Sukuna’s car. Sukuna’s eyes widened at the sight of you two and immediately pulled out from his kiss with Hinata and ran over to the both of you. He slammed you to the nearest wall and immediately started screaming at you “What the fuck Y/N?! Didn’t I tell you not to come here?! Why the fuck did you not listen to me?! And why the fuck are you with that fucking asshole Geto?! Are you fucking insane?!” In a swift movement, Geto immediately pulled Sukuna from you and gave him the strongest punch Sukuna had ever felt in his life. He was stumbling on the floor, struggling to regain his footing. As soon as he does, he immediately pushes Geto but struggles to get him down. “Fuck you! Race me fucker!” Sukuna challenged as he prepared to get into his car. “Get in,” Geto ordered “We’ll drive those fuckers to hell.” For a moment you actually saw a murderous intent behind those eyes but you could barely give a fuck. You wanted them to burn.

The crowd cheered all around as both cars were starting the engine. You locked eyes with Sukuna and you threw him a middle finger with a smirk. In response, Sukuna mouthed the words “Remember?”. You stared at him in disgust and defeat and he gave you a smirk. You started second-guessing this race with Geto. But before you could overthink, both cars started speeding, starting the race. You and Geto were in the lead but Sukuna was catching up. Soon, both cars were side by side quickly catching up to one another. However, Sukuna was getting closer and closer to your car. You looked at Sukuna’s window only to see Hinata hungrily lapping his neck giving him hickeys. She gave you a smirk that you wanted so badly to wipe off. Geto was speeding up and Sukuna was slowly struggling to catch up. You were winning. You felt a sense of pride and smiled admiringly at Geto whose eyes were burning with intense passion for the race. He locked eyes with you and gave you a smile. The crowds were cheering for the both of you. The finish line was in sight. He ran you off the road. Geto’s car drifted to the side of the road, hitting a tree. Sukuna won. You looked out the smashed car window and saw Sukuna waiting for you with a smile on his face. You lost. You looked over at Geto who stared at you in defeat. Before you got out of the car, you gave him a deep reassuring kiss. This wasn’t the last of it.

Geto watched as you went over to Sukuna whose veins were popping off his head. He grabbed your arm violently and dragged you to the bathroom. You walked out of that bathroom wearing his jacket, a destroyed dress underneath, and a large bruise on your thigh. Geto was burning with immense rage. People all around him saw fire behind his eyes as he stared at Sukuna violently putting you into his car. He grabbed his phone and rang a number. “Yo, I need your help, my man…”

Sukuna watched over you for a week. Then, it was time for his other bitch. Before he went, he asked you “Are you still gonna fuck with Suguru?” You looked at him uninterested. “Depends, you still fuck Hinata?” He raised his fist causing you to flinch before putting it down again. He wraps his arms around you pulling you into a hug “I’m sorry for that baby, okay? We good now?” You looked towards the side just desperate for him to disappear. “Sure. But pull that shit again and I’m fucking all your friends and sending you a video of it. Starting with Geto.” He gritted his teeth at your remark before disappearing for ‘work’. As soon as he left you immediately called up Geto. With only a few rings, he picked up. “Yo, you good?” You asked him concern evident in your slightly shaky voice. “Yea don’t worry bout me, baby.” Fuck his voice is so hot. “Sorry about your car… I can pay-“He cut you off “Nuh uh baby, I can’t let you do that shi. It’s my car don’t worry bout it.” He reassured you. “You and Sukuna over now?” “No.” You replied while biting your lip and looking down. “That’s fucked up Y/N. He hit you with his car and you’re still together?” You could feel the rage in his voice. “That’s just how we are. We try to kill each other and then we make up.” “That’s fucked up. Break up with him.” You went silent, shocked by his reply. “Why?” “So you could be with me.” This wasn’t a joke anymore. He is dead ass serious. “I don’t need to break up with him for that.” You mumbled with seriousness in your voice. “You want me to be your sneaky link or sum?” “Do you want to be?” You giggled. “Nah, baby. I don’t share. It’s me or nothing.” “Sucks for you then.” You hang up with regret. You wanted to break with Sukuna. Really. But the memories of the past are enough to keep you away from an actual relationship with Geto. But it’s not enough for you to try a secret one with him.

You started messaging him more. Saying words like ‘’I miss you’’ ‘’Can you come over?’’ ‘’I want u.’. He laughed and got flustered over your messages but he always considered the fact that this is cheating. But then again, he’s not a saint or a god to judge. You’re both simply… humans. Humans who crave each other. After consistent messages of yours, he started replying to your promiscuousness.

“Hey, I miss you. There’s gonna be a party at Satoru’s. You coming?”

’’Can’t Sukuna will be there. Have fun without me.”

“Scared he’ll find you cheating?”

“Nah I’m just not vulgar bout that shi”

“Nvm I won’t be going. Wanna go on a late-night drive?”

“Bet.”

Amidst your life of stress and violence, Geto was the only person you felt such security and safety with. “I love you.” These were the first words you muttered as soon as you stepped into the car. “I can’t reply to that while you’re still with him.” You felt a chill around you as he muttered those words. “Well, do you like me?” “I fucking like you so much it’s suffocating.” You smiled and blushed at his words while his expression stayed the same. The two of you got a drive-thru from McDonald’s and pulled into a parking lot. The car stopped along with your heart as he looked at you with concern. “Why can’t you just break up with him? If you did then these things would be so much easier.” You looked at the floor. “It’s not that easy Geto.” You looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. “What do you mean? Please. Explain.” His voice was enough to give you comfort to tell him about your situation. He pried you open. Mentioning the incident was good enough to make you sniffle. He immediately pulled you into his arms, comforting you. You are safe with him. “Geto please be safe, I don’t want you ending up the way he did.” You sniffled into his chest. “I understand baby. Don’t worry. I’ll deal with him.” He looked you in the eye and you swear you saw a hint of red in those beautiful black eyes of his.

You stayed over at Geto’s barely giving a shit about what Sukuna thinks anymore. You’re safe now. You saw breakfast on the table that Geto must’ve prepared. You smiled at his clumsy cooking. You took the food to the living room and switched on the TV. “22-year-old Scion dies in a car crash. Ryomen Sukuna…” You almost threw up at the mention of his name. As if on cue, Geto walks in with a smile on his face. You looked at him in fear. “Geto, what did you do with Sukuna?” You asked in a shaky voice. “Nothing. He took the live fast die young motto too seriously, I guess. What a shame, he was so young…” He sighed looking down before immediately sitting with you. A maniacal smile appears on his face as he hugs and strokes your hair. “Now, we can be together. I love you Y/N… You’re safe with me.”

Poll is posted now btw! Please check it on my page!!

Part 3 done!!

[superstar027]

~~~~~RUN~~~~~~~

"If his homie won't treat you right, he will"

Character: Geto Suguru

TW: Toxic Relationship, Cheating/Infidelity, Smoking

NOTE: This fanfic is inspired by @shirat0rizawa on TikTok. Please go check out their work because it's really amazing!! Also, this will most likely have 3 parts to it so I hope you all stay for the ride!

You and Sukuna have been together for a while now. Not that you would want that to be the case. You both met in a car meet. He was sitting on top of his beautiful 2013 Lykan Hypersport in red when your eyes met. If you could go back, you would've stabbed those eyes with a knife the moment they even slightly grazed your figure. But alas, here you are in the very same car meet watching your boyfriend fuck his latest side chick in the very same car he took you on dates in. This has been your life for the past few months. "You guys done yet?" You rolled your eyes at the two stuck to each other's mouths, moaning so loudly you swear they couldn't even hear you. Sukuna had invited you to go on a date but you were only met with the sight of him completely buried into another woman. "Just a sec, sweet thing." He zips up his pants and looks over to your annoyed face and body in a little black dress. “Sorry you saw that sweetheart; I swear I’ll be more careful next time.” He says slowly leaning in for a kiss that you so rudely dodged. He looks at you with furrowed eyebrows and gritted teeth as he pulls on your hair and forces your lips to collide.

You pull away and gagged on the floor. He was always too rough, never had a romantic moment with him. “Woah, chill with ya girl man, if she ever leaves you I’m first in line.” A man with long black hair in a neat bun said, teasing Sukuna. “I’d like to see her try to leave me.” Sukuna chuckled with a sinister undertone. This wasn’t new. You’ve tried to leave before. Tried. As soon as Sukuna found out you were with a new man, he disappeared; and if you ever tried again… you’d be next. That long-haired man is Geto, one of Sukuna’s fri- no, frenemies. Sukuna’s always pissed off at him for his longing glances toward you and you’re convinced Geto’s fucking around for the hell of it. The girl in Sukuna’s car finally got out. She looks towards you with a sly smirk on her face before she goes to plant a kiss on Sukuna’s neck. She whispered something in his ear causing a lustful smile to appear on his face. Sukuna then gave her a slap on the ass causing her to jump as she walks away. You look at Sukuna with furrowed eyebrows and a frown reeking of disgust. This wasn’t anything new, but the fact that he did this in front of his friends enraged you. You can’t fight back, however. He was much bigger, much stronger. The only thing you were able to do was to stomp away. “Aw, come on Y/N! don’t be like this!” He shouted. He wasn’t going to even chase after you! The best he could do was scream and then he’ll be carrying on with his life without even thinking about you.

You leaned against a dark corner opening up a pack of cigarettes and lighting it up with your lighter. Yet, another hobby Sukuna taught you. It helped you relax, and gather your thoughts. You suddenly turn your head to the sound of footsteps coming toward you. It was Geto. The moon was perfectly shining on his black hair perfectly illuminating his muscular figure; He wore a dark blue BMW racing jacket with black cargo pants. “Y’know I could do horrible things to you right now.”  He said with a slight smirk on his face. “Nothing worse than what my boyfriend has done to me.” You chuckled as you ran your hands through your hair.  He stood closer to you, hoping his presence would give you some comfort. “Why do you even stay with that asshole? You have me waiting for you!” You laughed at his joke, slightly hitting him on his arm “Ow! What the fuck was that for?!” You both chuckled. You looked at each other’s eyes with longing and lust behind them. In the heat of the moment, the both of you crashed your lips on each other engaging in a hot make-out session. “You shouldn’t do this. This is cheating! This makes you no better than that ass Sukuna! Ah! Who cares?! Just enjoy the moment, deal with the aftermath later…” Millions of thoughts ran through your head but all you could currently think about is the tongue exploring your mouth and the hair you’re grabbing to make it go deeper. You didn’t want it to end. You wanted to enjoy the moment further, deeper. But you’re both human after all. As you two separate for air, your conscience takes over you and you immediately realize your mistake.  You fix your dress and you run off; glancing back at Suguru with longing in both of your eyes. Suguru followed closely behind you; watching as you returned in the arms of an asshole that mistreats you and takes your love for granted. He knows he could do better.

It's 8 pm, and you’re preparing a beautiful pasta dinner you and hopefully Sukuna. If he even comes home. Sukuna hasn’t texted or called you back since that little incident from last week and you were bored out of your mind. Ding! You go over to check out the notification. It was a text message from Geto.

“You coming to the race later?”

“Race? What Race?”

“Oh, Sukuna hasn’t told you? There’s a race later by Shibuya, the usual spot y’know?”

“Oh.”

“Come with me.”

“Sukuna will be pissed.”

“So?”

“He’s gonna race you”

“I can take him”

As you are about to text him a reply, the door behind you opens, and in goes Sukuna. He hugs you from behind by your waist and plants small kisses on your neck. The smell of another woman's perfume was contaminating the room and it disgusted you. You break from his hug as you look towards him. “Aren’t you going to tell me something?” You say with arms crossed. He looks around the room and towards you before he replies, “No?”. “So, you weren’t planning to invite me to the race at Shibuya?” His eyes widened “I’m taking Hinata-!“ “Fuck Hinata!” You screamed at him in anger. “I’m your girlfriend! I’m the one you should be taking to these races! Not some side bitch you found on the streets!” “For fucks sake Y/N! We’ve talked about this! You’re not used to going to races! Shibuya races at that! Do you know how violent it gets out there?! And Hinata’s different! She’s used to these things!” He yelled at your face. All of a sudden you feel small and helpless. There was no winning this. You sighed and walked to your room not even touching one bit of the food you prepared.

            You locked the doors and bawled on your bed. It wasn’t fair. You couldn’t fight. Unless…

You grab your phone and open your and Geto’s messages.

“I’ll be there.”

“That’s my girl”

Part 2 up now!!

Part 3 done!!

[superstar027]

Hii! Star ⭐ here! I am fairly new to fanfic writing and tumblr but I've been writing for a longg time! So here are some things to know about me!

I DO TAKE REQUESTS (PLS GIVE ME REQUESTS)

I mostly write angst and fluff rn but I might be willing to give smut a try in the near future

English is NOT my first language so I hope you guys can be understanding about that 😞🙏

Some of my fics can be a little bit ooc but it's a fanfic!!!

Also if you guys have any advice or comments please feel free to share it 🙏!!

Thank you for listening and I hope you all support me in the near future 💖!!

[superstar027]

STAR-CROSSED

I wish I could shine as bright as the moon. Sure, the sun is beautiful, but staring at it lovingly could burn. I wish I could be like the moon, admired despite its threatening shadow. I believe I am the moon. A moon in a constant state of eclipse. My sister burns like the sun; So shiny and bright I could barely compare. Meanwhile, I am the moon constantly in her shadow. Everything I did she could do better. She could be born with a healthy body, I couldn’t.

            The doctors said it was terminal; my parents told me they were lying. The hospital has been my home since I was 5 and there are no signs of that changing any time soon. To be honest, my biggest fear was dying here suffocated and alone. I wanted my life to end on a beach with the loud waves and wind crashing together to create a beautiful harmony only for me and my love to hear. I wanted the moon to shine brighter and stronger than before on that night. That’s how I want it to go. Want. Nothing interesting ever happened in these hollow halls. Maybe in the field or rooftop but I could only go there once in a while so it seemed very unlikely. That’s what I thought.

            A sudden loud bang of my door opening startled me from my sleep. There stood a man with hair that shone like stardust, and his eyes were like two big moons looking down on me. “I’m sorry I disturbed you from your sleep but could you please help me find my grandma’s room?!” His voice sounded of urgency. I knew then and there that I would give up everything if it meant he could shine. I hurriedly put on my slippers and my robe and we sped-walked all the way down to his grandma's room. Nothing could’ve prepared me for the sight of an old woman slowly struggling to breathe with her family surrounding her. She looked content. If I couldn’t die the way that I want, I hope it’ll still go like this. I closed the door after he went in hoping to give him some privacy while I sat on the bench near her door thinking about a more realistic way to go. The door suddenly creaked open revealing the same man with tears flowing down his eyes like an endless waterfall. He sat beside me holding his head in his hands in deep sorrow. In the spur of the moment, I embraced him. We sat like that for minutes, maybe even hours, before a nurse called me to return to my room. We locked eyes before I regretfully said goodbye.

            The next day, the same star boy came to visit me. He said he wanted to thank me for helping him find his grandma and that he was glad he could see her before she went. “I’m sure she was happy you were there before she went.” I said with a smile I could barely contain. He started visiting me more often after that. He said I was his ‘friend’ but were we ever really? With each frequent visit, we got closer and closer. I wanted him to be mine and mine only. I couldn’t share him, no. Please be mine, even if it’s a short amount of time, even if it’s childish and selfish! I’ve never wanted someone so strongly before! I couldn’t risk losing him!

            “Is this your sister in the picture?” He said holding a picture frame kept on my bedside. Why did he have to be so observant? “You probably think she’ pretty huh?” I asked self-degradingly. “Sure. But honestly, I think you’re prettier.” He said still observing the picture. “I’m not saying personality-wise but physically. You’re prettier. You have this beautiful spark and power in your eyes I haven’t seen before; and your smile… You don’t know how much your smile drives me crazy!” He said in such a beautiful admiring tone. This was it. I had to confess. I didn’t have time to spare. “I love you. You don’t have to love me back; I know the burden of it! But please stay beside me, just a little while longer!” I said with my eyes shut so tight. He got closer. Put his forehead onto mine. I opened my eyes and met his. “I love you too, please don’t ever say you’re a burden because that is far from it.” We smiled. Slowly, over time I got better! I could go on more walks. Go to the courtyard on the rooftop. I could even go outside! It’s like being with him gave me the strength to go on!

            Until it didn’t. There we were, sat on the beach. It was just like how I had imagined. The wind and the waves were crashing together creating a beautiful harmony for me and him to listen and enjoy. The moon was shining brighter than ever before, it was calling out to me. “I’m sorry I loved you…” I mustered out slowly struggling to breathe despite all the air surrounding us. “I know you must be feeling tortured right now.” My words were met with silence. “Please don’t apologize. Our love is not something we should regret but something we should cherish. I love you, and although I’m sad to see you go; I’m happy you get the chance to be free. Please wait for me up there my love.” He said while I held his hands while my head laid on his shoulders. These were the words I was waiting for. I can go happily now. “Goodbye my star…”  

With that, I joined the moon and the stars. Dancing freely, shining happily. I go down to the beaches sometimes to meet with my love. I’m so glad he can look upon me without getting hurt. He knows that I’ll be waiting here patiently for the day our star-crossed souls can reunite once again.

CHARACTERS: ARMIN ARLERT, YUJI ITADORI, Hinata Shouyo,

Izuku Midoriya.