#& please like if you intend to respond ! it's not a big deal if you dont ofc

[vairuler]

ʰᶦᶦ 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑 ! ♡ ᶠᵃᶦʳ ʷᵃʳⁿᶦⁿᵍ ᶦ'ˡˡ ᵐᵒˢᵗ ˡᶦᵏᵉˡʸ take a while ᵃᵈᶠᵍʰʲ

[bitternanami]

something i think is really interesting about dungeon meshi is the cast's respective views on food as the story progresses. the way many adventurers get through the dungeon is to eat when they Must, but mostly rely on healing magic to keep going when they're tired or beaten down. death is something you can buy your way out of, here.

having these lower stakes when it comes to running yourself too hard has made a lot of people in this setting kind of devalue food and what it does for you.

im not all the way through the manga yet, but so far i really like how it goes about debunking that mindset.

long post under the cut, cw explicit discussion of disordered eating. textual depiction of unhealthy methods of dealing with it. please be cautious!

it seems like to most folks, food is either a decadent luxury, like when the governor offers mr tance a feast as a show of power and wealth, (although he is the only one who actually eats in that scene as he talks about his ambitions);

[id: the governor and mr. tance talk politics and hierarchies, while the governor eats from a bowl. mr. tance's meal is not visible behind a speech bubble.

"so you believe the sorceror is an elf?" he asks.

"i can't say with absolute certainty," mr. tance replies, "but the spells are not ones dwarves and humans typically use." /end id]

like the painted-royal feasts laios tries to partake in that never actually nourish him...

[id: laios, fresh out of the living painting feast, surprisedly holding his grumbling stomach /end id]

or, to the working class, it's pretty much exclusively fuel. i'm thinking about the scene where kabru's party, ostensibly intended to be our view into how adventuring Typically goes for most people, is shown preparing to go to the dungeon by like. walking up to someone and ordering 'a weeks' worth of rations.' purely functional.

[id: kabru enters a store, and the merchant says "welcome!"

kabru says "i need a week's worth of rations for six, and two days' worth of water."

"sure thing." the merchant then reaches behind him and grabs a large cube-shaped package, wrapped in nondescript cloth and tied in place. it thumps onto the counter in front of them both. /end id]

when kabru hands mickbell his food for the trip, he complains about how heavy it is on his back. it's a necessary liability.

we also see chilchuck, in an early chapter where there isn't much food to go around, grumbling about how he used to be better at not noticing when he was hungry. he's frustrated that he's more attuned to his bodily needs, now that he's starting to fill them with regularity.

[id: chilchuck, the only one awake, sits in his bedroll and glares at the timekeeping-candle burning down in front of him while he listens to his stomach growl. moving to find his canteen and fill himself with water instead, he thinks to himself, "my stomach has gotten weaker. i used to be able to go two days without food." /end id]

(like im not even gonna lie this is a big mood. the healing process is really really annoying)

even laios, early on, working out the logistics of going back for falin, considers his expenses and ultimately the thing he decides to save money on is their food supply. like, even the guy most invested in eating as an experience kind of just assumes he will Figure It Out. its what hes eating, not how hes eating it that matters to him at that point.

[id: marcille looks down at the ingredients they've gathered, the walking mushroom and the scorpion in an unappetizing heap on the ground, and asks laios "so how exactly do we eat them?"

he responds "let's just cook them, like normal." /end id]

but its here that senshi introduces the idea of food as art and as healing. its exciting and its fascinating for laios, getting to taste the creatures hes been reading about and fighting, but i dont think it would ever really help him feel full if not for this.

[id: three panels of laios tasting the scorpion hotpot, looking stunned, and then excitedly telling senshi "delicious!"

senshi matches his energy, asking "isn't it? isn't it?" /end id]

pictured: guy who had resigned himself to kind of just doing his best rediscovers the joy in something tasting really fucking good

what they did last time isnt going to work. falin is gone, and constantly anesthetizing their pain and healing through their weakness is no longer a realistic option for the party. in order to make it through they must all relearn how to eat well, one by one and as a group over and over again, because its either that or nothing.

one of my favorite depictions of this idea thus far is when marcille is seriously low on health and mana, and both of these problems are mitigated by taking care of herself, and trying to get iron and protein

[id: marcille, looking sickly, wakes to laios saying, "marcille, marcille, can you sit up? we've got something nice for you."

she watches senshi grill pieces of kelpie liver on a low fire, while laios ties a bib around her neck. /end id]

and drinking a bunch of dead water spirits. she gets the idea, she's supposed to get in nutrients and it'll help her feel better, but in aiming for the quick, inefficient fix, namely chugging that shit down like she heard it was good to Stay Hydrated and decided that would be the thing that fixes her,

[id: marcille throws back a cup of boiled undine-water, her face red. laios asks, "do you really need to drink it that fast?"

she gasps out "...the magical energy stored in nature spirits is actually quite hard to absorb. even if you drink a lot, the majority of it is excreted without being absorbed," and takes another drink. "that's why i need to drink as much as i can."

laios says weakly "you'll get water poisoning," but marcille only stops when senshi puts a hand on her shoulder and says,

"it's easier to absorb nutrients if ye digest them with food. that's a fundamental rule of nutrition."

marcille says, "senshi..." contemplative

and he holds out a bowl of tentuclus and a thumbs up. "let's get cooking!" /end id]

she doesn't immediately realize the answer is that she needs more than that. she's been working hard. she needs care, and she needs nourishment.

once she gets that, though, she makes her boiled water into a stew, and she works to make that stew as good as she can, and everyone can have some.

because in dungeon meshi, to feed yourself or allow yourself to be fed is treated as performing a kindness for yourself. food is what propels you, but there is also an art and a joy inherent to the process of making it; in the way you feel when you've had enough to eat.

[id: senshi watches as chilchuck and marcille eat and excitedly hash out plans.

"i've got a good feeling about this! maybe it'll work out!" chilchuck says

marcille responds, "well it's easier to feel optimistic on a full stomach!"

senshi smiles, proud. /end id]

^^^ i want to put this image on my wall

when you're working through disordered eating habits, you really do have to keep learning this shit. (in my experience, learning about cooking is one of the best ways to do so.)

i'll have to see if my thesis holds up as i continue, but i think one of the reasons the portrayal here resonates with me so hard is that ryoko kui puts most of her characters at eye level with me on this. they're all working at it, too. the text and i are both commiserating, and encouraging each other, 'have some more, you'll feel better.'

[ppumeonae-bigvibe]

barista's special

↖ navigation: enhypen masterlist || main masterlist

pairing: barista! jay x part-timer! reader

↬ tags: (guys im so tired i dont know anything anymore i was in bed and realized i forgot to post this so i had to get up) wholesome fluff surely, a short read about developing feelings! (i like this one very much and pondered a lot about what to write for this) jay being self-aware and heeseung being some kind of a friend c

summary: continuation from this // now that jay has got to know you for a while, perhaps things are brewing where he first met you

word count: 1.03k words

jay wiped down the countertop for what seemed like the umpteenth time that day. he folds the cloth neatly and parks it to the side, shifting his weight from one foot to another.

just then, the doorbell jingles and he stands up straighter, ready to receive the customer. the door swings open gently, and jay smiles at the sight of you almost immediately when you meet his gaze.

you shoot him a wry smile when you see the confusion flit across his face as you made your way closer to where he stood.

"last i checked, you're off today. and i'm working with heeseung." jay teases and you responded with equal humor, "i miss working with sunbae so much that i decided to accompany you at work despite it being my off day." despite the sarcasm lacing your words, jay knows you didn't mean any harm. in fact he sees the way your eyes twinkle with mischief and finds you rather endearing.

you held up the thick laptop bag snug tightly on your left forearm, "i'm here to do some school work because there's some renovations going on at home. you gonna chase me out or something?"

jay was glad that the cafe wasn't crowded that day.

he leans over the counter, shaking his head all while a smile tugs on his lips, "you can stay here, but you gotta get something to eat or drink here. cafe rules." you waved him off, huffing at his banter, "i know." you pause to look at the menu, before returning your attention to him, "sunbae! can you make me that drink? your..." you moved closer to him causing his heart to beat in trepidation, "your special drink?"

"yah, you're taking too much advantage of me here!" you made a face, "but, please? can't a struggling student have something special to focus on their heinous amount of work?" you looked pointedly at your laptop bag. "i really like the special drink you make. i crave it all the time but i don't know what you put in there that makes it so addicting." you admitted sheepishly, a silly grin on your face.

jay relents (he had already intended to make you something nice even before you asked), rolling his eyes like it was a big deal (it wasn't), "i'll bring it to you."

you beam and nod at him so brightly, jay thinks he must have done something great in his past life for him to melt so easily just by that action alone. he watches as you move to sit at a cozy spot away from the machines, taking out your study materials.

from his peripheral vision, he occasionally flits his focus to you as he prepared your drink and a snack despite you not asking for it. absorbed in your studies, he was reminded of when he was first starting university just like you were right now.

he graduated just recently and you had about 3 more years to go in school.

"huh, it's been a few months..." jay wonders aloud to himself. it felt like yesterday when you had first joined, the shy part-timer that he warmed up to after comforting you on your first busy shift. but with the passing of time, it was almost nearly 10 months of you joining the crew.

and somehow in this time and in this small space of a cafe, he realized he's taken quite a liking to you.

well, according to google at least (google says its a platonic crush), he surely doesn't have an infatuation on you: he thinks that he clicks rather well with you, having so many common topics to chat about. his logical mind relates it due to the fact the full-time staff here were much older, hence you two getting along well was only bound to happen. he doesn't think about you romantically, nor does he feel that "butterflies in stomach" sensation when he interacts with you.

more often than not, jay finds himself subconsciously glancing past the staff roster to see when his and your shifts aligned, never making it too obvious when he swaps a shift with his coworkers just so that he could work with you; he definitely does feel a sense of pride when he watches you master some coffee grinding techniques or latte art he taught you, and also even enjoys hearing you vent about the professors you two shared.

the oven dings softly, bringing him out of his revere. heeseung who was coincidentally back from his toilet break, stands beside jay. "well, well. who is this for?" jay looks at the older male, one side of his lips quirking up, "the poor student over there."

heeseung looks over jay's shoulders and hums, "said 'poor student' comes here to study quite often actually. during their off days and occasionally weekends, like today."

"really? i didn't know that..." jay stores that information to the back of his head. heeseung side-eyes him, "why, you curious as to when they come? i could tell you if you want~"

"ah hyung! mind your business!" jay sputters and hurriedly pulls the pastry out onto a plate. with the drink in his free hand he makes his way to your table and set it down to escape a prying heeseung.

"for you."

you perked up, "thanks!" he never fails to notice the way your entire demeanor brightens around him (and only him, he hopes). he peers over to look at the notes sprawled all over the table,

you brought the mug to your lips, exclaiming after the first sip, "why did this get even better than the last one you made me!"

jay felt the tips of his ears warm up, spouting whatever reason that popped up to his head, "y-you're just caffeine crazy! i'm sure you don't even start the day drinking water." you sighed dramatically, "sunbae is such a spoilsport. but thanks for making this though! i'm gonna get this A for my assignment!"

as he steps away from you, he catches heeseung staring at him funny, his head cocked to one side, as if calculating jay's every move.

he's got some avoiding to do.

@ppumeonae-bigvibe 's work ; likes and reblogs are appreciated !

[crushedsweets]

neeed to hear the context behind ur most recent art. please enlighten us

you guys dont even know how excited i get when someone asks smth like this abt my art or headcanons or au.

i actually wrote liek a fucking essay oh my god im so sorry anon ill have the actual drawing context after the big bolded caps

TW for typical creepypasta story type stuff

anyway ok UNNECESSARY BACKSTORY: liu spent a long time trying to just psychologically recover from everything. he hated jeff and he hated the memory of everything. jeff signature murders would occur every now and again, each time liu would fall into a deep depression. the murders stopped for a while, and everyone believed jeff 'retired' or died. liu was conflicted about it. until Jeff committed his final full-blown 'jeff fashion' murder (janes family) in tuscaloosa alabama. liu had another breakdown and ended up moving to tuscaloosa because he was completely convinced he needed to find jeff again because he could fix it (or die trying and he'd be fine with that too)

nina was always one of those girls obsessed with 'true crime' but like.... the murderers instead of the cases. she was 12 when jeff's first rampage happened and she just fell head over heels in love with this freak. she began to act out, miss school for days, sneaking out to meet older people, etc etc. eventually she did the classic jeff smile cut into her face(she pussied out on making it like jeffs, so she has cleaner, less noticeable scars) . she started getting severely bullied (for being creepy and worshipping a literal murderer) and her parents sent her to live with her grandparents in mississpi. she started stalking liu through social media and whitepages when jeff was presumed dead. but eventually, jeff's final murder happened in alabama(a state away from her) and after turning 18, she ran away to go find jeff convinced he would 'save her' from the life she created for herself. nina got wrapped up in slenderman business because of her constant Tom Foolery. she met her idol

JEFF IS A BAD PERSON IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD. he did a beautiful job in using his #1 fangirl and enjoying the worship. she scrambled for pennies to afford an apartment, she'd sleep on the couch if he wanted to use her bed, she's ride her bike hours to go get weed or something from rando drug dealers that give better deals to pretty girls, make him food, do his damn laundry, literally anything and everything bc THATS HER MAAANNNNN (no he isnt.)

jeff DOES NOT GIVE A FUUUCK about everything nina does for him . one day he finds her trying to creepily get into contact with liu (and liu actually responded) and he loses his shit and stabs her and goes on and on about how 'you ruined your own useless fucking life your family is never going to take you back you did this to yourself' etc. he didn't intend to kill her only cuz he knew she'd forgive him and he liked all the shit she gave him

NOW ABOUT THE DRAWING ITSELF:::::

afterwards nina gets patched up from jeff stabbing her, she has some weird 'liu will save me' spiral (not romantically just in a very literal 'he can fix this' way). liu's been on his own spiral since finding out jeffs alive which is the only reason he even gave nina the time of day. eventually she ends up at his house to 'talk about jeff' bc she sent him creepy pics proving she knew jeff yadayadayada.

im not sure the exact conversation i imagined for the drawing, BUT liu eventually says something that sets nina off and she tears at her stitches and breaks down and drips blood all over his kitchen talking about 'I CAN MAKE HIM LOVE ME AGAIN I JUST NEED YOUR HELP PLEAAASEEEE' or something.

liu's a good man, much to his own detriment, and can't help but comfort this kid who's bleeding and crying in his kitchen at the fault of his own brother. he's all too familiar with wanting to repair his relationship with jeff, despite the amount of rage, betrayal, misery, etc he felt at jeffs hands. he doesn't ACTUALLY want to reconnect with jeff, but it's a very deep internal longing for the baby brother he once had that VERY RARELY overshadows his hatred

i want to reaffirm that liu does not feel positively about jeff at all, does not want to see him, and only moved to alabama b/c of a long ass mental health crises and is now too wrapped up in new financial commitments(plus jane) to move again. and now he feels obligated to help nina

he just misses being a big brother :( not so much the jeff part

also none of this at all is shipping at all i am terrified at the idea of people taking anything romantically . even if nina is in 'love' with jeff its purely for the story/horror . ITS ALL REALLY BAD

[stealingyourbones]

The goal for this isnt to call anyone out in particular because I have gotten many of these but for the love of god: dont give fic writers a word limit for them to reach when you tag them to respond to a prompt or post. Its really demeaning and rude to give someone a “hey can u write a 500+ word addition to this?” Ask. I am doing this for fun under my own volition y’all. I’ll write and add onto things when they interest me and I have an idea to add onto it. I know that you aren’t intentionally being rude but it really is a very rude gesture.

Again, I’ve gotten five asks like this. All from different people. Its an issue and I know that its not that big of a deal but the last time I didn’t speak out and got lax on my boundaries I got sent 8k of graphic non-con torture porn so yeah :))))))) rather not have that shit happen again because that still haunts me.

Additionally, I’ve been getting a few issues with some people who spam tags at me. Not like once or maybe three times a day, I mean at least 20+ times a day every single day. I know you mean the best and are excited to show me something. When there is one person doing it, its not that bad. When there are at least 12 people doing it though?! It gets truly ridiculous. at this point I am simply tempted to block those who are doing so. I know y’all aren’t intending to be bothersome in any way but please lessen up on the tagging. If this continues a week after this post y’all will be blocked.

Sorry for this post but it really needed to be addressed. Thanks for taking the time to read it.

[caterpillarinacave]

"Send me a character" Henry

Three people actually asked for this one (and the first got eaten) so I'm gonna answer them all here.

Just an fyi this post is very long, please excuse grammar, rambling, spelling ect

favorite thing about them

Man, where do I start? 

Not to be sappy, but as far as characters go he means a lot to me. Ive talked about this before, but I was diagnosed as autistic at ten, after really struggling for a long time. As an autistic, traumatized, kid in my specific childhood situation there wasnt anywhere for me to fit in. I really, genuinely meant well, but I meant so well it was just annoying. For all my trying I could not manage a meaningful connection. Naturally, this made me a very lonely child.

 As all lonley children know, when you have no friends you get to make friends with fictional characters, which I had no problem doing. However, I couldnt actually relate to any of the characters. 

 When it comes to character representation in media I really had never seen a character that I related to, autistic or otherwise. “Normal” characters didnt experience the struggles that were such a big part of my life, and characters portrayed as autistic had no personality outside the autism. They were all either robotic or just children. Personally, as someone who is emotional, bright, and very animated, I couldnt relate at all to the stoic, robotic, characters, and I certainly wasnt relating to an oversized toddler. 

(Frankly, one of the reasons I think Henry is such an excellent rep is because CC didnt go in with the intention of making an autistic character, and therefore didnt fall into the pitfalls non-autistic creators usually do. The issues I have with the characters she intended to be autistic arent applicable to Henry, which I do have some theories about, but thats off topic. )

 I could always find characters I could connect to those around me. There were characters like my mom, like my little sister or older brother. I collected books with characters who had the same name as me, I bought stories set in towns like mine, then abandoned them for the same types of towns but twenty years ago so I could pretend that in some point in time, I might have had friends. 

Yes, I spent a lot of time crying in the corner and reading books under my desk. 

   However, when I read TID it was the first time I had ever, in my life, witnessed a character who I found both extremely relatable and incredibly cool. 

An example that tends to stick with me is this scene:

It might just be a random thing, but frankly it was a pretty big deal to me. The misunderstanding of an “obvious social cue”, the pride in thinking you had read the situation right, a person that you care about being mad at you when you were trying to help them, the “why didnt they just say so?” , the awful feeling when everyone else is looped in on a thing that makes no sense? These are things that I experienced daily, now, but more so when I was young. 

 I’d oftend respond in situations thinking I had it right. I could go over my answer with a fine tooth comb, find no issues with it, only to be met with a negative response because I had violated a rule that I didnt know existed.

 Its a terrible feeling. The people around you are so familiar with the “rules” they dont even realise they have them. They never can tell you what made your response inappropriate in this situation, but normal and fine in another. I spent so much time feeling so stupid, because I just cant figure these rules out. 

The characters I watched that suck at socializing sucked because they were rude, they didnt like people, they didnt want to socailze ect ect ect, as opposed to being genuinely, agonizingly confused. Everyone else I saw, everyone I wanted to be like had this talented, this knowledge, that is abosloutley unubtainble. 

 When I first read that scene I finally saw something that understood that feeling. Sure, it wasnt from Henry’s point of view, but it proved the situation that felt like a special torture just for me was something other people experienced. 

The general hostility from the rest of the shadowhunter world was also something I find somewhat… comforting? For me, even as talented, well adjusted, and promising as I may be, the majority of people still treat me with something from dismal to unease to downright cruelty. 

 Just like Henry could make amazing breakthroughs in science and still be snickered at by the rest of the world, I can make the honor roll, win competitions, excel at everything handed to me, and people still snort, poke, and call me stupid because of “basic” things I cant do. Its inevtible, and something I just cant change. 

 This a character that is interesting, talented, valued in society. He has an actual relationship, with someone he loves, who loves him just as much. He has layers outside of the ASD characterics, varied interests. He does get upset with people, he is passionate, good at multiple things, the lsit goes on and on. 

 And when I say this meant the world to little old me, it meant the world. 

For the first time I was seeing a character I related to, and they werent stupid, mean, or alone. 

 At the moment I’m really trying to learn to not hate myself, and to love my life. Some things wont ever change, and people will likely always treat me differently. However, I am trying to teach myself that ASD Its not a bad thing. I’m not flawed, I can be successful, I can have a social life, I can have a relationship, and theres nothing about me to “fix”. Autism isnt a bad word, my diagnoses are not the end of my life, and I am still a full complete person worthy of love and respect. 

Even when I was younger, and wasnt ready or able to find out how to love myself, or work on stop hating my ASD, I still reread TID again and again because of all the characters in the world I probably look up to Henry the most. 

 The thing is, even though its been years since I read those books, Henry is still the character I go back to to remind myself of those things. 

 This was a character that hated themselves just as much as hate myself, but had managed to move past that. He never “fixed” or “got rid of” the things that were difficult, the rest of the world didnt have a “oh we wont be mean” moment. He dealt with the issues ASD presents, moved past the self doubt, and was still the same character at the end of it all. 

 TID introduced the idea that maybe, just maybe, I could love myself, and I could be happy without destroying the things that made me me. And maybe, just maybe I wasnt as alone as I thought. 

 Over the years I’ve had more than my fair share of health issues, been to many specalists, and have spent my fair share of time holding back tears in a doctors office wondering if this is the end of my life. 

And every time I come home I go back to a character from a goofy, vaguely trashy romance novel that came out in the early 2000s and remind myself that my life is worth it. 

2. Least favorite thing about them

Clearly there's not much I dont like, but the things I do dislike stem back to how CC handles him as a character. He's one of those characters you can tell CC isn't super invested in. Theres massive potential in both him and Charlotte, and I wish that CC would just focus on them a little more. 

  There are so many little lines that allude to something much deeper, something that could be explored if Cassie would just do it. Talk about that romance, talk about the disabilities, talk about the way society treats them both, talk about the falling in love, talk about the disabilities, talk about the relationships with the rest of the TID cast, talk about the disabilites, talk about the grief, talk about the guilt, talk about the war, talk about what happend in the family lines, talk about it all. Oh, and talk about the disabilites Cassie. Do it. 

3. favorite line:

Yeah, this is the part that took my so long to write, I had to hunt around to pick just one. So, since I got three asks, you get three lines. 

“Really, how could we have been so stupid?

Well, I’m not surprised about me,” said Henry. “But honestly Charlotte, you ought to have known better.” - Clockwork Prince

“Youre marrying your fathers friend on the council? Which one?” - Clockwork Princess

“That ba-bad man," he finished, with a quick glance at Cecily who rolled her eyes... -Clockwork Princess

4. brOTP

Oh, Magnus Bane definitely. I feel like people gloss over how much they cared about eachother. Magnus was probably the first person to share any of his interests, and the first not Charlotte person who didnt instantly dismiss him. For Magnus that was the first time he had met a shadowhunter who genuinely thought outside the box. Try as he might it seems like shadowhunters just dont like Henry, whereas downworlds think hes the best. 

OTP

Charlotte and Henry. They invented romance. Relationship goals. Would die for them. 

nOTP

Anyone who isnt Charlotte. 

random headcanon

Since this question has been asked three times you all get three headcanns:

My man is tall. And has upperbody strength. A lot of it. He might be about 0% body fat, but hes got muscle.

Several times Henry was sent to find teen Will and retrieve him from his dangerous stupidity. Will’s attempts at defiance where swiftly nixed when Henry just tossed him over his shoulder and left. 

Jessamine is throwing a tantrum because she doesnt want to be out on patrol, and Will throwing a tantrum because he can? Non-issue, hell carry them both to the carriage. Charlotte said be back at midnight, they will be back at midnight, teen angst be damned.

Literally only gets stronger as he gets older.

(All yall with fucked up bodies know the more your legs dont work the more upper body strength you get. Its only logical. If youve got enough upper body strength and someone to hold onto, you can hold yourself basically upright, which works great until whoeverse holding you gets distracted and stops holding you up. Then your going down the USSR in the 90s.

Yeah, Will and his short little attention span were not the best person to hold onto.)

–

The little kids love him. I mean, come on. He has so many glittery things in his pockets. So much to do. Knows fun stories, knows funny words. Funny hair. He lets them fuck around with his pocket watches. Fun chair. Easy to climb all over. Is not talking about the boring things with some of the adults. Gives great gifts. Happy to listen to you talk, actually remembers what you said. Unbothered by everything. Christophers was clinging to him from two years old on. 

–

He has two scars on his side where the automaton had grabbed him during the battle of Cadair Idris. 

 The Silent Brothers were really busy trying ot keep him from, you know, dying, and didnt really get to it. By the time they would have he was sick of them, took the rune and left the scar. To him its just one of many, many random scars. 

8. unpopular opinion

Cassie dropped the ball big time in TLH with him. 

   She did for most of the TID cast, tbh. She really has to mess with characters to make the TLH storyline make sense, and as much as I do love TLH its hard to enjoy when your going “they would not do that”. Its a pretty good example of how Cassie doesnt care about all her characters equally, and is willing to toss them away in favor of the main cast. For example, she keeps Will (and usually Tessa) very in character. With some work she could have done that with the rest of the TID cast, but she really. Doesnt. 

When you look at it from a TID standpoint its very clear how much she cares about each person, and which one she doesnt really give a shit about anymore. Alas, Henry is on the lower end  of that spectrum, along with a bunch of other characters. Hand them over CC ill give them the love they deserve.  

9. song i associate with them

Once again, got a playlist in the works, but one the one that comes to mind is Zoned Out In My Youth by Unlike Pluto. Also Ed Sheeran is a Henry x Charlotte artist. Just listen to Afterglow. 

10. favorite picture of them

How do I even pick. I spent hours picking. This has been the choice of my life. It has also reminded me we need more fanart of him. Someone with talent should get on that.

Anyway, take two, couldnt pick:

(Excuse me??? They are so cute? Peak romance <3<3<3 pretty hair<3 Anyway the flower pin? The ring? The tie tack/clip? Beautiful stunning amazing I love him<3)

[mr-inkslinger]

genuinely a lil heartbreaking to hear someone say that astarion feels... coded. Like he's pan/bi, what about him makes him feel ...coded and not bi? Do what you want and i dont mean to come off like im miffed at you specifically for feeling some type of way about it or having an opinion, I've just seen so much biphobia about the bg3 characters but especially and overwhelmingly when it comes to astarion, its disheartening and sad to hear so many people say that the flamboyant man who often talks about his relations with men Has to be gay and the whole "I can't see him with a woman, sorry girls he's not for you" are actual comments I've seen which is just kinda :( cause he's confirmed pan by a couple people involved in the game and characters creation. just feels like it feeds into a lot of irl rhetoric around bi's being either too gay or too straight to be bi ykwim? Again not meaning to sound pissy with you or anything, obviously its not real so its not that big a deal whatsoever and you're a random person on the internet with thoughts, i think im just more rambling to you about that general idea and the biphobia ive seen from others, sorry about that ❤️ please delete this if you like im a stranger on the internet lmao ly.

Yes, I understand that, I've also retracted my previous statement on my word usage in previous asks on the subject.

It was less intended on being bi erasure, more on I'm getting away from writing content for women for a while. Astarion was just the first I've committed to it, but my subsequent characters will be mostly m!reader. I know it came off shitty, a lot of the time when I post things like that, it's when I'm drinking and don't give a damn about the consequences. I would delete it, but that'd be.. dishonest?? I suppose. Like I said it, I'll stand by it, to deal with the consequences. I know that's not an excuse, I'm not using it as one, I'm just explaining my pov.

I thought I was bi for a looooong time, but that was in a time where I was uncomfortable with my sexuality and lacked the security to just be gay. I dated women to be more palatable to the masses. So, I understand and definitely did not intend for that to happen. As stated in my previous ask, which you should be able to find under my tags anon or asks, I try to be accommodating to as many things as I can but also, I write for me. It was mostly a disclaimer, like.. if I write, it'll be for me and my tastes.

It was poorly stated. It was wrong of me to say it the way I did. I don't know what else to say. Like I said, taking it down feels dishonest. Receiving these asks are the consequences of my actions and a reminder to do better, I suppose. I'm responding to yours because you were polite and articulate, which I appreciate. Again, I apologize.

Idk I'm bad at internet apologies, sue me, I'm only human. This is my first rodeo and my first time being a human.

If the general populous wants me to take that down, I'll gladly do so. It just felt more appropriate to.. idk accept the tomatoes being thrown for my shitty behavior and verbiage vs deleting it and sweeping it under the rug.

Is this accountability? Idk I feel like my boyfriend would tell me "hey, that's making excuses, not taking accountability and responsibility." So idk what accountability is. I'm trying to learn and grow, I suppose. Well, do or do not, there is no try.

[c0smiccom3t]

Ryonna (Ree-oh-nuh) Tag Team Racing quotes because yes. their dynamic with cortex is so good. (part 1)

"A little bit too much of a brute and a pretty loyal lackey to Cortex, They are always ready for a challenge... Even though if the bad prize is having to calm Cortex down from his temper tantrums when he loses and preventing him from embarrassing himself" Voice actor: Tabitha St. Germain (Rarity from MLP: Friendship is magic) (Trans-Atlantic accent) Cutscenes: - "HAHAHAHAHAHA! keep shooting N. Gin, keep shooting!" - "Heheheh..." - [When Cortex gets hit by a chicken thrown by Crash] "HEY!" - [after Cortex asks Von Clutch if he knows who he's dealing with] "Yeah, are you?" - "ugh..." - [after Cortex tells Von Clutch he has an appointment with world domination] "Yeah, we got no time for this, booger-man!" - [when Von Clutch opens his chest while saying his beloved black gem is gone] "Ew." - [responding to N. Gin] *gasp* "REALLY??" - [replying to Cortex's comment] "SIR, YOU'RE A GENIUS!" - "Uh-huh??" - [When Willie Wumpa Cheeks makes his first appearance] "BY MY RINGTAIL!" [jumps infront of N. Gin and Cortex and cracks their knuckles] "GET AWAY FROM MASTER!" - [after Willie Wumpa Cheeks is introduced] *facepalm* "...Seriously?" - [running to get to the elevator] "Wait for me, doc!" - [Answering to Cortex's comment on the situation] "Yeah. And you better believe it!" - "OUT OF THE WAY!" - [petting Cortex's head after he yells about a sinister force upstaging his evil plan] "There there master, We'll figure it out." - "ITS YOU!" - "well well well, looks like we're a little late to the party! mwuhuhehehe.." - [replying to Cortex saying that the bandicoots foiled his plan] "Yeah!" - [when N Gin giggles madily and they roll their eyes, annoyed] "Ugh.." - "Yes, master!" - [When Cortex's shot fails] *gasp!* - [When Crash throws a chicken into his ship's engine] "Uh-oh."

Missions [Costume] - "Could you get one for me too? If i wanna show off im a master of stealth business, i want to look like i am that, too!" - "Yeah i'm sure it won't be too big when you put in on, sir." - "AGAIN, BRAT-ICOOT?!" - "This is getting us nowhere. Sir, perhaps would it be better if i went to fetched those things myself?" - "Oh-kay..." - "JUST GET ON WITH IT, OR YOU'RE GONNA SAY HI TO STARGAZER, TOO!" - "Finally." - "Yeah, keep it for yourself, you deserved it." [Mission 1] - "Yeah, could you? That'd really pay off and your sister would be impressed, if you ask me." - "Good luck! ...and make it quick." - "Master, calm down!! Maybe he just needed some clues to where that set is! ...Please hurry before he has another tantrum, he skipped his beauty sleep today." [nervous laugh] - "Yeah, you don't want to be known as 'the worst big brother in the world' now, do you?" - "We told you, brat-icoot, just BRING THAT GEAR!" - "Congrats, you played yourself. Hope you enjoy your demise! See you on the race track! Heheheheh, sucker." [Mission 2] - "Dont you mean 'weapon of mass de-- OW!" - "Okay, okay, you're right, sir!" - "That'd be so helpful, indeed! ...No pun intended, by the way. Now get moving!" - "Yeah, come back to us once you did get those crystals, bucko!" - "Yeah. Things take time. But honestly, you got to hurry. so get a move on!" - "These gamers are such a predictable bother nowadays, it's exhausting really." - "See you there, Brat-icoot. C'mon m'lord, let's show him!" end of part 1 lmao

[t0shii]

could i make a request for Suna, Iwa, and Atsumu where theyre s/o is like scared of the future. like thinking about the future and being an adult scares them, but its also scary that they have no idea how to survive as an adult and what job they want to do so they could pay theyre bills and make money.

(it could be girl pronouns or gender neutral pronouns i dont mind either)

hq boys comforting you when you're scared about the future

suna rintaro, iwaizumi hajime, miya atsumu x gn!r

!warnings! mentions of anxiety, nail picking (iwa), lightly proofread

SUNA RINTARO he definitely shares your fear so he understands exact how you feel.

sitting at your desk, you had your head in your hands trying your best to stop your tears before your boyfriend got to your house after his volleyball practice. lost in thought, you hadn't even noticed he entered the room until he was leaning down next to you with his hand on your back. "baby what's the matter?" his question only made you cry a little bit harder as you turned in your chair to wrap your arms around waist.

he waits before asking you, "what happened, baby?" until your sobs have quieted down. "i'm scared rin." you say dryly, throat hoarse from your earlier breakdown. "scared of what?", "the future." he lets your answer sink in before saying anything further. "the future huh, hmm. actually so am i.", he says causing you to look up at him with teary eyes. "really?" he nods his head yes, "yes really. but you know, no matter what, i'll always be here for you. you know? there's no need to worry about it right now. i know it's scary, stressful and all that other bad shit but we'll always have each other, just remember that when you feel yourself start to worry too much."

MIYA ATSUMU is actually terrified of the future also so knows your struggles

he was driving you home when he noticed you being unusually quiet, so he knew there was something up. "angel, you feeling okay?" he asks, squeezing the hand he had on your thigh. "hm? 'm fine 'tsum. just thinking about stuff." you say, giving him a small smile but he really wasn't buying it. "you can tell me if there's somethin' wrong, babe.", you nod your head, "i know i know. it's really not a big deal though, really. i was just thinking about the future and how scary it is that we have no control over it. y'know? it's scary." you admit, and he cant help but feel his heart break.

"angel, ya know that no matter what, present or future i'll be with ya the whole time. so you really don't need to worry.", "i know but i can't help but feel anxious about it." you say, biting your lip. "baby, i want you to know that i feel the same way. im scared of the future too. do ya wanna know what comforts me when i'm feeling upset over it?" you respond with an, "mhm" and he continues, "what makes me feel better, is knowing i'll always have you no matter what. so anytime you find yourself worrying over it, just think of me and how much i love you."

IWAIZUMI HAJIME has his own share of anxieties so he understands you completely

you picked at your nails as you sat on your boyfriends bedroom floor whilst he did his homework, it was basically routine at this point. you had been lost in your own thought when he had turned his chair around to look at you, "hey stop that." he scolds, probably a little louder than he had intended, a frown evident on his face. you look up at him and immediately, a pout contorts onto your face and your eyes begin to water. immediately, his face softens"oh no angel, c'mere i didn't mean to shout at you." he says opening for you to embrace, which you accept. he lets you cry into his shoulder for a few minutes.

"please tell me what's bothering you." he rubs your back softly, waiting for you to answer, not minding how long you needed, saying a soft, "tell me when you're ready." so you do," i'm just anxious about, y'know.. what the future will be like." you confess, causing him to sigh lightly. "oh baby, i understand. but guess what.", "what?", "as long as we're together you'll never have to worry about the future because i'll be here for you the entire time without fail. you know that right?"

a/n tysm for the request! i hope u enjoyed <3 p.s. i stress aht the future often as well so if this is something you worry abt ur not alone & it's completely normal. ily <3

[randomsevans]

The habit part 2

@jtargaryen18 30daysofchris2020

'How could you let your self be so foolish ' you kept telling yourself all night along .With the tears, throwing pillows (anything you could get your hands on ) around . Needles to say , you didnt get any sleep again and you see if being that way for a while .

After a long day of advoiding Steve in the gym , you dont think you have ever worked out more in your life , your knuckles were close to bleeding, many times Bucky had to keep telling you to stop. It wasnt till night fell you could truly let your emotions out . It wasnt till you caused a loud sound that echoed though the tower , when you though your lamp . When Nat and Bucky came to your room and looked after you again .

The morning air was quite and cold , Nat and Buck had went to go and get breakfast as you stayed your room to get change . You felt numb as if your soul was gone . You dont know why you feel like this, you cant help it , but it's not like you two were anything . You were just stuiped to catch feeling for something he probably seen has he being nice . That why it makes it feel so worst , you cant be mad . How can you ? Its Steve the most kindest human with those stuiped blue eyes . The only person you should be mad at is your self .

Turning a corner you felt half asleep . In zombie mode . You were looking at your feet which were slowly making there way forward when you collided with a wall and fell straight on your ass . "God ,y/,n you in there ? Someone tired this morning?" Arrr great clint , your never gonna live this down

"Ass !" You said getting up.

"Well you just fell on yours " clint laught walking into the kitchen "ha guy ,guess I didnt know we had a zombie in the compand?" He shouted annoyingly to group of people that were all around the table as he sat down .

You begin to walk over not amused by Clint or anyone , when you notice there was no seats left . Everyone was in there own conversation, talking about the most stuiped morning shit . You quickly glance maybe there might be one seat . No none . You looked at steve he had the biggest smile on his face, laughing as hes arm was behind Sharon was was snug against his side smiling. In your seat . Your chest tightened again . But you didnt know what more for a the fact no one saw you, Sharon and Steve or that fact . YOUR seat was taken . You have never felt so alone and pushed out of the group like you dont belong. There were all happy, your dark mood would just worsen their day , if they even knew you were there .

You turned to the kitchen and got a bowl , some cereal you randomly picked up . And turned around to walk out the room . As you left you heard to echoes of laughter as you made your way back into your room with clouded eyes . It wasnt till you reached outside your room you looked at the bowl . You forget the milk . 'Wow y/n good . Oh what the fuck I'm not even hungry!'you thought as you though the bowl toward the wall opposite your door . You just watched it smash into pieces, going all over the follow , watching the cereal slip every where ,bouncing along the corridor . You just stared at it , feeling numb , not even feeling bad for making a mess you are not going to clean up . You just thought what a symbol for your heart . Your not even sure you have one anymore .

You entered your room , slowly as if you were scared to move to fast .

"Friday " you called out .

"Yes Miss y/l/n ?"

"Dont let anyone in my room ..." you began " if anyone even comes looking " you whispered the last part .

"Do you intend to stay in here to day miss ."

"Yes I'm staying "

"Are you sick ?"

"Of life " you mumbled "no I just want to stay in here " you said more firmly.

"But miss you have training with Captain Roger's at 10 am "

"Cancel it ! ... in fact cancel all my sessions with him , change it to either Barnes or Romanoff!"

"Cancel ! ... Captain Roger's has been informed and his new partner will be miss Carter under his request " she announced , now that stings " I'm sorry miss but Barnes and Romanoff already booked their session and theres no changing.."

"I'll do it my self then .."

"M'sorry miss you cant ..."

"I can !"

"Its not saf....."

"It doesnt matter anyway Friday , I'll do it my self , Its not big deal , and if anyone ask I'm out !"

"Okay miss "

Silence. Silence fill the room , bring pain to your ear drums . You walk toward your bed and lift the covers and plop your self in between the cover , pulling the blanked over your head . You let out a loud sob as your head hit the pillow , mufling the sound as cold tears stream down your hot cheeks . You feel like you cant breath between the weight of the sheets over your head and your sobbing.

This was your new habit

You feel your eyes become heaving as your breath become even more irregular and tear ducts dry , you felt your mind wonder into darkness .

○●○○●○○●○○●○○●○○

'BANG!'

You jumped a wake , 'god what time is it?' Your mind was pounding much like the door , adrenaline though your veins

"Y/n ?" Bucky , okay so you know that voice . Your mind still fuzzy from walking up

"What's going on ?" You hurned another voice outside 'Tony ?' You think

"Is everything okay ?" Your heart stopped ' Steve ?'

"NO ITS NOT !" You heard Nat .'god is the whole team outside.

"What the matter " great Sharon

"Nothing to concern you " bucky anger shown in his voice .

"Ha Buck calm down no need to be like that to my girl " Steve defended .

"Oh fuck off would ya " Bucky shout " y/ n please open up !"

"Bucky calm down " Tony yelled over Bucky ."Friday open the door "

"I'm sorry sir I cant "

"What ! "

"Dont you think we've tried that tony "Nat now sounded worried "y/n I know your in there "

"Miss y/n is out " Friday said .

"See she out ! No need to be like this " steve

"No she hasn't left the compand I check to carma s , have you even seen her today ?" Natasha now sounds on the verge of tears , while you sat still on your bed scared to move.

"No .. no I havnt , she cancel our session " Steve voice wavered in panic " is shes okay?"

"Maybe shes sick , Friday is y/n sick ? " Tony ask .

"Of life sir " Friday respond ,great she heard that.

Gasp were heard out side , you ran into the bathroom scared as if you were a child in trouble you sat your self on the floor, knees tucked under your chin , rocking back and forth , more tears rolling down , how is more tears even possible at this point?

More ponding at the door. "Y/n please tell me you haven't done something stuiped ?" Bucky sounded as if he was near to crying , with considnt pouncing at your door . "Please!!" He shouted at the top of his lungs " open the door "

"She just probably being dramatic " you heard sharon wining voice .The next thing your heard was a loud shudder as somthing hit the floor , followed by screams of "NAT ! " "ROMANOFF!" "NATASHA !"

"Say that again and I'll kill you "

"Nat stop " steve switch to his cap voice "open the door y/n .. come on this isn't funny "

"Leave now "Bucky challenged Steve .

"No not until I know shes okay !" Steve challenged Bucky .

"She will be when you leave !"

"But ..." Steve began

"Why do you even care ?" Bucky shouts

"Because I lo....."

"Steve please " you heard sharon crying.

"Oh babe ...come on .. Nat apologise!"

"Over my dead body ... now every one leave " nat voice filled with authority.

"Okay !" Followed by foot steps heading the other direction.

"Y/n everyone's left it's just me and Buck , open up , we ain't mad just worried open up please or at least let us know your okay?"

Silence . You dont know how long . But it was just silent .

In a low whisper your voice barely cracking though the thick abosant of sound " friday inform them I'm okay "

"Of course miss " friday respond.

Silence again . Once again you wernt able to measure the amount of time due to your fuzzy mind .

"Okay. Come out when your ready , eh ? Just know your not going to push us away " bucky said

"And what did a bowl of cereal ever do to you eh " Natasha let out a small laugh . Which caused you to make a small chuckle.

You found strength and wonder to your door slowly ,pulling it open to reveal two very red eyed worried assistant. You wander how you can make two of the most deadly people in the world near to tears .

"It didnt have milk" you put on a small innocent smile .

Bucky grinning down at you with Natasha on his side even smiling more . "There she is "

[sleepychai-fics]

Road to Salvation ~ Chapter 4 - The Proposition

Inform me if I need to put in any warnings for this chapter. ALSO I'd like to apologise for the long break between chapters, life has been hectic and things got out of hand for a bit. Hopefully it wont happen a second time.

Word count: 5,472

Pronouns - Female

ALSO SHOUTOUT TO @doughnuts-5ever​ FOR BETA READING THIS ENTIRE SERIES. I KEEP FORGETTING TO ADD THIS SHOUTOUT CAUSE I POST THESE CHAPTERS AT 1 AM LIKE THE NIGHT OWL I AM. SO BIIIIIIG THANK YOU TO YOU BB, YOU MAKE THIS STORY MAKE SENSE WHEN MY BRAIN DONT

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in BNHA. However, there are many OC’s in this fic that I’ve created. These OC’s belong to me and are specifically created for this fic. 

However, Hajime Shinsou is NOT my oc. He is an oc created by Keiid, who used to have tumblr but now uses twitter. Please keep that in mind.

Feedback is appreciated!

Want to be part of the taglist? DM me or reply to this chapter!

“What do we know about this girl?” Tsukauchi flips open the folder full of papers in front of him, eyes darting across the pages briefly taking in the information.

Aizawa sighs, lifting up one of the papers and reading off of it. “She’s been seen as a vigilante on the streets for a little over two years now. How long she’s been on the streets in general is unknown. Her quirk involves moving objects through shadows. It’s believed she has other accomplices, however we don’t know for sure.” He ends by tossing the paper back in the folder.

Tsukauchi hums. “Is she the one we’re looking for?”

“I hope so.”

“What about her suspected accomplices?”

Aizawa takes out another piece of paper from a different folder. “Our informant tells us she lives with many other people on the streets. Rumors say that the group is the line between villains and heroes.” His tired eyes look over to the police officer. “We’re not sure how to interpret that.”

A groan leaves the officers lips as he leans back in his chair. “We’ll interview her once she wakes up. We can negotiate living conditions with her. Offer her the placement and training in exchange for her compliance and any requests she may ask.”

With a yawn, Aizawa nods. “What do you suspect she’ll ask for?”

“Not too sure. Despite what we have on her, she’s still unknown to us. Our data banks have nothing on her. It’d be your job to get to know her.”

Aizawa groans. “I know that. But I think Hisashi is more up to that task.”

Tsukauchi smiles. “I appreciate you doing this.”

“It was part of the deal. Whisper held up her end, now I need to hold up mine.”

“It’s a big task to hold up.”

Aizawa hums in agreeance. “That’s why I offered a trial period. If she proves worthy to be a hero, then I’ll make it a permanent deal.”

“Whisper has offered to ensure a steady supply of information on other underground personnel if you were to make it a full time deal.” Tsukauchi reminds him.

Aizawa nods. “Are you sure-”

An alarm blares loudly through the speakers, interrupting the two men and instantly raising them on high alert. The conference room doors slam open, a security guard standing at the entrance.

“I apologise for the interruption but she’s escaped her room!”

Aizawa stands up from his chair, almost knocking it over. “Do you know where she’s headed?”

“They report she’s just entering the cafeteria, possibly towards Ward E.”

The two men race out the door, following the guard as he races towards your direction.

~*~

Your senses come back slowly. First, it’s touch. Whatever room you’re in, it’s got a cold atmosphere to it. If you were conscious enough, you’d be clutching to your thin jacket. As the thought crosses your mind, you take note of the feeling of the fabric, definitely not the same kind of material as your jacket. But despite its foreignness, it holds you in strange comfort. However, the feeling doesn’t last long as your hearing starts to kick in.

Two voices - one feminine and the other masculine, speaking in a soft tone. Along with the voices, you hear a steady beeping sound. A heart monitor? You hear it pick up as the rest of your senses come to life. The pungent smell of sanitising chemicals invades your nostrils and has you scrunching your nose in response. One of the voices gasps and speaks to the other. Your eyes are heavy and your body urges you to return to the land of peaceful slumber, but with a strong will, you open your eyelids.

Everything is blurry. Patches of colours hover over your vision before flicking to a mixture of white shades. You hear things shuffle around and clang against metal, only making you work harder at your vision. In an attempt to clear your vision, you rapidly blink your eyes. However, a bright light shines into your eye and forces you to squint. In a burst of panicked adrenaline, you lash out.

From what you can comprehend, you throw out your fist, hitting the figure above you. Ignoring the scream of pain, you jump up out of what you suspect to be a bed and scamper across the floor. You trip into a wall and turn your body around to face the mess you seemed to have caused.

You shake your head and rub at your eyes in another attempt to clear your vision. As it begins to clear, the masculine voice speaks.

“Hey! Let’s calm down. There’s no need to be scared.” You focus on the person closest to you. His hair is a terrible mess of purple. A white coat lays over a blue shirt and brown pants. As your vision clears by the second, you recognise more of his facial features and you can’t help but feel a sense of familiarity. His dark eyes stare at you earnestly, but it’s his eyebags that strike you with an eerie recognition.

You notice his hand cast behind him and you follow it to a woman in similar attire to him, laying on the ground. She has one hand propping her upper body up off the floor, while her other hand covers her lower face, blood seeping in between her fingers.

You return your sight to the man and attempt to speak, however it comes out raspy. After clearing your throat, you try again. “Who are you?”

The doctor responds calmly, making slow movements with his hands as he speaks. “My name is Hajime Shinsou. I know that this seems scary at the moment, but you need to trust that I won’t hurt you.” Shinsou attempts to take a step closer but retracts it as you push your body further against the wall. “You might recognise me, more so my son but let's face it, he’s practically a carbon copy of me.”

Your vision finally starts to clear, enough for you to make out specific features that you’ve definitely seen before. But he’s way too tall from what you can remember. “Why would I recognise you? Your son?”

The slight upturn of his lips doesn’t go unnoticed by you. “A couple days ago, you saved my son from a group of gang members. It was by a karaoke restaurant. He has purple hair, just like me. He even has the same eyebags as me.” As Shinsou goes through his explanation, your memory begins to jog.

“The… the gang. They uhm... they attacked a restaurant and took a kid hostage.” Shinsou nods. “I stopped them and saved the kid.”

“Yes. My son appreciates you. I do too.”

Alarming questions begin to spew in your mind. “How did you know it was me? Where am I? Why am I here?!” Each question grows more desperate as your (e/c) scan the entirety of the room. Thankfully you chose the wall close to the door.

“It’s okay. No one intends to harm you here.”

“Bullshit. Where am I?!” You argue back, glaring at him with irritation.

Shinsou continues to remain calm, despite the growing panic radiating off of you. “You’re in a hospital in northeast Tokyo.”

Your heart pounds in your chest as your eyes widen in shock. “Northeast?!”

With a nod, he responds carefully. “Yes. I understand you may be in shock. But I promise you that I don’t mean you any harm-”

“I want to leave.”

He sighs heavily. “I know, but I’m sorry to say I can’t allow-”

“I want to leave. NOW!” You scream this time, eyes brimming with tears you fight to extinguish. “I can’t be here, I have to leave this place.”

“Why don’t we just sit down and have a calm cha-”

“No! I can’t stay here! I have to leave!” You throw your hands out, intent on using your quirk to push back the doctor. But when that doesn’t work, you falter. “Wha… Why? What happened to my quirk?” A few stray tears slither down your face despite your best efforts. “What did you do to my quirk?!”

“We’ve injected you with quirk suppressants. It was protocol. I’m sorry.” You can hear his genuine apology, but you ignore it through your own raging emotions.

“I’m leaving.”

Hajime nods, knowing there’s nothing else he can do. “I understand. But you have to know I can’t let you go without calling it in.”

You shake your head. “I don’t care.” You leave him no breath to reply, walking towards the door. Before you leave, you snatch a spare white coat from a nearby hook and throw it over yourself.

As the door clicks behind you, you take a moment to assess your surroundings. A window down the hall shows an orange hued sky, although it's difficult to determine whether it’s dusk or dawn. A couple of doctors scatter the large hall, but they’re too busy looking down at clipboards to notice you. You waste no second more before walking down the hall, head tilted down to avoid arousal of your presence.

It’s so foreign, so clean and pristine. Tears are prepared to fall at any moment, but you fight against them. It’s exhausting and horrifying, it’s taking all of you not to bolt out the nearest window.

Every turn you take, every corridor you look down leads you to the belief that you're stuck in a labyrinth. It all looks the same. The room placements, the nurses, the machines littered here and there. Everything is almost the exact same and it scares the living shit out of you.

Finally, after what seems like hours of endless wandering, you come across two double doors. They appear to lead to another part of the hospital. You take a second to glance around you. There’s no other way to go besides through these doors, at least no other way you’ve been able to discover anyway. Without another second to hesitate, you go through the doors.

It’s similar to the place you just came from, except there are fewer private rooms and more public beds. They’re all aligned against the wall and separated by at least a couple of meters. Curtains hang between them, offering visual privacy. More nurses and doctors operate within the space, working with patients and running to various desks.

As you take in the scenery from the doors, you hear a voice call out from your left.

“Hey, are you-?”

You turn to look at the voice, and your heart drops. Realisation dawns on your face the second you notice the security badge. Unfortunately, the guard comes to his own realisation.

The guard opens his mouth wide, probably to yell out, but you don’t give him the chance to. With adrenaline behind your muscles, you push at his chest, forcing him to back into a moving cart. The noise alerts the entire area and within seconds it turns to chaos.

You take off in a sprint down the hall, leaving the sounds of screams and yells behind you. Each turn you come upon, you run to the wall and push yourself off of it, maintaining momentum in your run. As you take another turn, you throw a glance behind you. Security guards are close behind you, as well as a few men dressed in white coats, seemingly doctors aiding in the chase.

An alarm blares loudly throughout the hospital, red lights blinking slowly at every corner. You ignore them all, focused on improvising an escape plan.

As you turn another corner, you're faced with a set of double doors. With no other choice, apart from the army of men behind you, you barge through the doors.

You thank the high being that it's an open spaced cafeteria. More space to run, more visualisation, more shit to throw, and most importantly, fewer hallways to get lost in.

People scream and scatter out of their chairs as you vault over tables. Every chance you get, you flick trays and food behind you in an attempt to slow down those behind you. You make the quick and random decisions to leap over tables to either side of you, making it even harder for the chasers to predict your direction.

However, more men come from the opposite direction and appear a few tables before you. Without thinking, you pick up a tray of food and throw it at them. They throw their arms up to deflect the tray and in turn lose sight of you for just a second.

You take the opportunity to take a sharp turn in the other direction. Unfortunately for you, the only direction left for you to go is through another set of doors that no doubt leads to another maze of hallways.

The second you go through the doors, you duck down, avoiding the few crackling electricity sticks that jab towards you. You slip underneath one, tripping the guy in the process and creating a roadblock of a few seconds.

You bolt to the left, tossing things nearby onto the ground, leaving a maze of objects behind you. Every cart you pass by gets toppled onto the ground and earns you the precious seconds you desire.

You’re so focused on the people around you that you don’t notice thin white cloth wrapping around you. It snaps tight around you before you can even think. Your arms are pinned to your side and your legs are immobilised, causing you to fall flat to the ground.

As soon as you land on the ground, grunting from impact, electricity violently courses throughout you as multiple electrical batons prod at you. You blackout in seconds.

~*~

Your senses return much quicker the second time around. As soon as the bright light enters your eye, you jolt up, scrambling off of the cold metal table.

Pain is the only thing you feel. Pain pumping through your veins and making you shiver from movement. You back yourself against a wall, your hand instinctively curling around your stomach as nausea arises.

Before you are the purple haired Doctor Shinsou and the recognisable dark dressed man with a large scarf hiding his neck. He has a hand on his scarf and knees bent whilst Shinsou has his hands up in a surrendering manner.

“It’s okay. We’re not gonna hurt you.” He says.

You glare at him in disbelief. “Oh really now?” You grimace as you speak, sharp pain erupts from the side of your neck, just below your jaw. When you touch it, you can feel raised, jarred skin.

“You were shocked by 4 electrical batons. That one on your neck is the most severe one because of the skin contact.” Shinsou informs as he watches your hand shake above the wound.

“So much for not harming me.” You scoff.

“Those guys were from a different department.” The unknown man speaks up. “They run on different protocols.”

You spend a few seconds staring at him, watching as he lowers his hands by his side. Recognition prods your mind. “You were the one to capture me.”

The guy breathes in. “For now call me Eraserhead. We’d like for you to join us in the conference room down the hall. We’ll discuss everything there.”

“Why do I get the feeling there’s more than the three of us here?”

Shinsou, having put his hands down to his sides, answers you. “There’s only one more person and he’s waiting at the conference room. No more harm will come to you. Promise.”

You scrutinise his expression. The genuineness of his statement. Despite the short time you’ve talked with him, he seems genuine and reliable. So, on the little info you have, and with the foreign situation you are in, you decide your best bet for now is to trust him.

Shinsou walks out first, gesturing to you with a soft smile. Slowly, you stand up straight and start walking. You suppress the grimace as your leg shudders beneath you, most likely another wound area. With a deep breath, you push through the pain and limp out of the room. Eraserhead follows you closely.

The hallway is quiet, save for a few people here and there whispering to each other. Their eyes drift to you as you walk past them. You can feel their anger towards you and their disgust, you’re thankful the walk through the hallway is a short one.

Shinsou pushes open a door and steps aside to let you in. As soon as you set foot in the room, you analyse the room. It’s completely bare, save for the large oval table and the dozen-plus chairs surrounding it. Seated on one end of the table is a police officer. He has a brown coat thrown over his uniform. A matching brown hat sits on the table in front of him. His black hair is practically melded with his scalp, barely any strands sticking out. Your first impression of him isn’t the greatest and you decide to remain overly cautious.

“Hello.” He greets you as you walk in, almost like he was expecting you at that very second. It unnerves you. He gestures to the chair beside him. “Take a seat.”

You carefully step towards him. “I’d rather stand.” The scratchiness of your voice is still present, but you opt to ignore it.

He nods in understanding. “You can call me Tsukauchi.” You nod once, eyes glaring into his. “I’m sure you have questions.”

“I’m sure you have answers.” You fire back at him with a monotonous voice.

“I do. First I’d like to clear up the situation you're in at the moment. You are in a hospital north-”

“I already know that.” You nod towards Shinsou. “He explained that to me. I’m in northeast Tokyo. I wanna know why I’m here. And how I got here.”

Tsukauchi nods. “We’ve been keeping a close eye on you for a few weeks now. You’re known as the vigilante Shadow, aren't you? You’ve been in and out of activity for years.” Every word that he speaks increases your concern, but you fight to keep your expression neutral. “You’ve taken down thugs and criminals, but you’ve also stolen from civilians off the street.”

“Ok, imma stop you right there. I didn’t just steal from civilians, I also stole from those criminals.”

“You still stole from them.”

“Because I had to.” Your voice grows louder.

“Why?”

“Because-!” You stop yourself. You almost told him about the mall. Taking a deep breath, you start again. “I had to survive.”

It aggravates you the way he nods, as if he understands. “Like I said, we’ve been watching you. We apprehended you because we decided it would be best to approach you.”

“And you didn't try talking first?”

“We tried that. But as you can tell, that didn’t go well.”

Your mouth opens to speak, but you close it, realising he’s right. But another question surges through you. “Ok, then why were an army of police on standby in the area if you just wanted to talk?”

“We predicted your behaviour.” Throughout the entire chat, he’s remained calm and it irritates you to no end.

You scoff and shake your head. “Is there a point to this talk?”

Tsukauchi bends down to pull out a folder. “We believe you have potential.”

Worry sets in. “Potential for what?”

He slides the folder over to you. “Potential to become a hero.”

The room is silent. You stare at him in disbelief, despite your best efforts to keep a neutral face. The silence only lasts a couple of seconds however, as you burst into laughter.

“I’m sorry? Potential to become a hero?! What the actual fuck?! Haha! Weren’t you berating me as a vigilante fucking two minutes ago?” You double both in pain and laughter wheezing and gasping between breaths.

“Yes. Amongst everyone else, I see potential in you.” Tsukauchi waits a few seconds for you to catch your breath. “You’ve shown initiative in criminal activity. You are quick to rush in and protect civilians.”

“That’s because no one else is willing to, and there’s no police around to help them so I choose to step in.”

“Exactly.”

For a few seconds, you’re in deep thought about his words. He’s right. You have shown initiative, but does that really categorise you as a hero? If that's the case, then can’t everyone be a hero?

You look down at the folder on the table. Tentatively, you take a seat next to Tsukauchi, and open the folder.

Concealed inside is a small stack of papers. A small paragraph is printed on each page, addressing you and claiming that you agree to the terms and conditions that follow. On the bottom is a line with your name underneath. As you skin through each page, you come across to a highly detailed table chart.

“By signing these forms, you agree to a temporary deal in which you will live with Eraserhead and follow his rules.” You snap your attention to Tsukauchi, eyes bulging from distress. With a glance towards Eraserhead, who confirms with a nod, you sink further into the seat.

Tsukauchi continues. “You must agree to no vigilante activity whilst in his care. You’ll be monitored every minute of every day as long as you're in his care.”

“That chart in your hands,” Eraserhead speaks up, gesturing to the detailed chart in your hands. You take another look at it, noticing the times lined against each row and the days lined above each column. “It’s a timetable which I’ve set out for you to follow. You do exactly what it says to, and you won’t get charged for any of your vigilante crimes.”

“I’m getting charged?!” You stand up with shock and rage. Tsukauchi and Eraserhead jump to a stand as well. “So you’re saying that I either take up this so-called ‘opportunity’, or I get sent to prison for however long you deem fit? Sounds like a fucking threat if you ask me!”

“Hey, it’s alright. I pro-”

“It’s not alright!” You turn to Shinsou, fighting to keep back the tears building up behind your eyes. “None of this is okay! I’m being stripped of my freedom, all for what? To keep an eye on my behaviour?!” You turn to Tsukauchi, staring him down with a firm expression. “I have responsibilities to uphold.”

“Whatever it is, I’m sure they can be put on hold for a while.” He says.

“They can’t!”

Minutes pass by, the tension in the air running thick. You run your hand through your hair, sighing with frustration and surrender before fixing your posture. “What I’m about to say, does not leave this room.”

“If you agree to the contract-”

You snap your gaze to Eraserhead. “If I agree to this contract I will keep up my end. But you have to keep up yours.”

He stares at you for a few seconds before nodding, allowing you to continue.

Your heart thunders in your chest with nerves and irritation. Tears threaten to fall but you remain stubborn as ever. With a deep breath, you let it out. “There is an abandoned mall on the outskirts of Tokyo. It’s where I and a ton of other homeless people stay. We're like a family. We protect each other and help where necessary. There are some people like me who’ve rescued kids from all sorts of situations, and those kids form a bond with us. A bond that acts like a lifeline. It’s their emotional lifeline.” Without noticing, a tear falls from your eye. After furiously rubbing at your eyes, you continue. “It’s impossible for me to leave them. Not while their emotional stability is still fragile. I’m sure you know enough of psychology to understand that.”

The room is silent as the three males ponder your revelation. They look between each other, wondering what to say, what to do with the new information. Sure, there were rumors of more people like you, but to hear the information come from you was different; it was no longer a rumor.

“This timetable isn’t possible for me to follow. I need some time with the mall. I need to let the kids know that I’m still there for them.”

Tsukauchi looks to Eraserhead. “It’s your call.”

Eraserhead sighs deeply as all eyes turn on him expectantly. “I’ll allow a one hour visit two days a week.”

“Three days.” You interject.

Dark eyes glare at you, but you remain stubborn and strong against his eyes. The sigh he lets go of borders on a growl. “One hour visits, three days a week. With supervision.” He enunciated the last sentence, indicating there would be no objections.

Despite your desire to argue, you know it’ll be useless. So, putting on a tough persona, you pick up the contract folder and practically shove it under his nose. “I want that in writing.”

The man remains still, half-lidded eyes staring at you for what seems like hours. It feels as if he’s stabbing you with just his gaze alone. Finally, he snatches the folder out of your hands and slaps it down on the table. He then takes a nearby pen and begins to furiously write on one of the papers. Once scribbling his signature, he steps back, allowing you to inspect his writing.

You do so, ensuring each word says as it's supposed to. Eraserhead holds out the pen to you. After some hesitance, you take the pen and lean down. The pen hovers over the paper. Your heart beats hard, you can feel it in your throat as if it's ready to spew out at any moment. You take a few steady breaths, your hand shaking the pen slightly. One more deep breath, and you put the pen to the paper.

Each letter written feels wrong, incriminating and abandoning. It feels exactly how you expected it; like your freedom was slipping away with each pen stroke.

As soon as you write the last letter, you stand up, the pen falling from your limp fingers.

Tsukauchi takes the folder and pockets it into his briefcase below the table. “I believe Dr. Shinsou wanted to do a last check-up. He’ll also be the one that will be attaching the ankle monitor. We’ll be using that to monitor you.”

You simply nod, the will to argue no longer there. You follow Shinsou out the room, head tilted down in both shame and surrender.

Your mind is numb, barely registering anything said to you. As Shinsou gestures for you to sit atop the examination table, you take notice of the nurse. The same nurse as before, this time with a bandage across her nose.

She appears reluctant to be near you, you can see her hands shake as they reach out to apply the blood pressure strap.

“I’m sorry.” Your apology is quiet but startles the woman. However, a smile eases on her face.

“It’s ok.” She replies, voice slightly hitched due to the bandage. “I would’ve done the same thing.”

The conversation is left at that. Shinsou and the nurse, who said her name was Sakura, do the basics, heart, lungs, eyes, ears. After completing them, Shinsou appears with a steel bracelet with a small box attached to it.

He doesn't get the chance to speak as you lift up your ankle. He peers into your eyes, taking note of the dread-filled gaze that appears to stare at nothing. With a sigh, he carefully clips the bracelet into place.

“Is it too tight?” His only response is a light shrug. He can’t help but feel bad for you. He proceeds to press and hold a button. The device turns on at the action, a small light on the box flicks on as two small beeps sound. As soon as that's done, Shinsou guides you out of the room.

When you step out, you are approached by a long blonde haired male, a gloved hand sticking out towards you.

“Hello listener!” His voice is loud and overly excited, but you barely pay any mind to him. He observes your mute behaviour and turns to his husband. Eraserhead simply shakes his head.

“This is my husband Yamada. You can call me Aizawa.” He says as he walks away.

You follow him without delay, mindlessly pocketing the info.

The drive is silent and tense. You stare out the window the entire trip, watching as the environment passes by. There’s no thoughts running through your mind, nothing to think about but the dread and disappointment of letting the mall down.

You barely register you’ve stopped, so induced in your negativity that you don’t notice that Aizawa is before you, waiting for you to step out.

The house is two stories tall, a small wood fence outlining the property. It’s a fairly modern-looking house, a front porch stretching a metre out the front yard. It’s decently sized, looking to fit a modern family of five.

Entering the house, you register a lounge room and kitchen across from each other from the front house, then straight ahead are stairs leading up to the second floor. Beside that is a hallway which you are told leads to a bathroom and laundry.

Your gaze wanders to the kitchen, where you find a black cat sitting on the bench, staring at you with yellow eyes.

“Oh, that’s Jelly. We have another cat named Muffin, she’s nicer than Jelly, he likes to scratch.” The Yamada explains. His smile drops however as your gaze falls to the floor. “How about I show you to your room?” He gestures upstairs.

You shrug, allowing him to lead you upstairs. He turns down the hall to a room at the end. “Here it is!” He opens the door, his green eyes shining with delight.

You peer into the room, gazing at the layout. A double bed is pressed up against a wall, a small table on each side. A desk lays opposite the bed, small and bare. Sliding doors in the wall indicate a wardrobe. It’s bare of anything and feels completely unnatural to you.

“It used to be a spare room, but now that you’re here it’s all yours! Don’t worry we have another.”

You ignore him and walk into the room, taking a seat on the bed.

“Hey,” His voice is significantly dialled down in both tone and volume as he approaches you. “I know this may seem scary, but we’re here to help you. Aizawa may seem like a blunt and harsh guy, but he’ll come around. Eventually.” He then kneels down before you, a soft smile on his face, his glasses on the tip of his nose. “Technically my name is Aizawa-Yamada but that’s for legal purposes. We’re teachers and figured it’d be easier for the students to separate us. That and Aizawa doesn’t like our relationship to be public information. If you’d like, you can call me by my first name, Hisashi.”

You nod, numbly tucking away the information. You jolt slightly as Hisashi places a hand on your knee.

“Why don’t you get some rest? The drugs from the hospital are probably still in effect.”

With a gentle squeeze, he stands up and exits the room, closing the door behind him. In the end, he was right. You take the time to realise how foggy your mind is and how exhausted your limbs feel.

Having no choice in the matter, you lay down on the bed.

You stare at the ceiling, the silence of the room overcoming your senses. It’s then that everything seems to properly set in your mind. Tears cascade down the side of your face, and you do what you can to silence your sobs.

You told them everything you didn’t want to. Although it gave you something, you still risked the safety of everyone. You may have just caused their demise. All for what? What was the purpose of all this? To become a hero?

Did you want to be a hero? Is it worth all this?

What would everyone think when you visited them? Aizawa would no doubt be supervising you. And if he wasn’t, the device on your ankle would surely broadcast your position.

What else was the device for? Could it hear you? Could it see what you were doing? Could it harm you?

Your mind whirls with unanswered questions, each question that rises allows another tear to fall from your eyes. Sleep comes quickly, haunting you with all of the day's events.

When you wake with a jolt, you wish for it all to be just that. A simple nightmare, something that Dabi could soothe away. But that wish shatters as you look around. The room was too spacious, the view was too pretty, the walls were too new, and the device around your ankle was still annoyingly present.

[cruelestsuggestion-moved]

I just saw a post saying that people who ‘throw fits’ over their texts being read but not responded to are ‘toxic and immature’. I get the idea of the post, but here’s my problem with it: it’s putting blame on people for becoming anxious over something that is socially accepted as a sign of rejection/abandonment etc. Being ‘left on read’ is something that we’re told is Bad and means Bad things.

Especially for people with previous related trauma, ptsd, anxiety disorders, adhd/autism, personality disorders (bpd and npd particularly but others may also experience similar issues with it) and the rest of the mentally ill / disabled community, many of which have gone through abuse either because of or resulting in these disorders/disabilities/whathaveyous where silence or being ignored meant punishment, abandonment or neglect followed.

What I’m saying is that many people are not ‘throwing fits’ because they’re just so toxic and evil that they can’t handle someone not responding to them, and it’s not fair to label them horrible awful people for it. Communicate boundaries on these things. If you’re someone that knows you forget to answer a lot, communicate that. If you’re someone who can not handle being left on read, communicate that. If someone communicates to you they can not handle being left on read, work with them on it.

Listen, these things may seem trivial to you, or silly, but they’re important to and affect people around you. Give people the benefit of the doubt sometimes and work with them to improve your relationships. Always be critical but avoid being cynical. Thank you for reading.

If you have any solutions to avoid anxiety or to help mend things when anxiety occurs, please feel free to add them. DO NOT comment with anything about ‘narc abuse’ or demonizing PDs/Mental illness. Thank you.

Here’s a list of solutions I’ve been party to:

In order to avoid making someone anxious:

-Sending a specific emoji/word/phrase if you’re seeing a text you know you dont have time to respond to in that moment / other preemptive solution

-More direct communication such as

“This text upset me and I need time to respond, however we are still friends and I still care for you”

“I’m going to be busy for a while but I’ll get back to you on that”

“I don’t respond to texts after 10pm, but I might sometimes read them and answer the next day”

“I am very forgetful and sometimes read messages and forget to respond, feel free to nudge me or ask me if I forgot to respond, I won’t be upset”

“I’m having a very bad day today and do not have the energy for this conversation, can we have it at X time tomorrow?”

-Turning off/using a program without ‘read’ indicators

If you accidentally Do leave someone on read/they are upset seemingly ‘irrationally’ for something that doesn’t seem like a good reason to you:

-Do not make fun of them or get upset at them for being anxious. If they have a bad reaction that hurts you, listen to what they say, apologize if necessary (though, probably apologize anyway, they’re more likely hurt than actually anxious) be honest about how the reaction makes you feel, and you need to discuss it later.

There might be a good reason for it, and if you want to make your friendship/relationship work, and that is going to be a persistent problem, it’s better to work to handle it than just shut them down and expect that to fix it

-Offer a reason/explanation. Not in order to ‘excuse yourself from horrible behavior’ and not because they ‘have to know what you’re doing’. You do not owe anyone a full account of your day or what have you.

But it is reassuring for someone who is anxious to know that you had a reason other than punishing or ignoring them. If they push you to elaborate, they may still be anxious. If this makes you uncomfortable, communicate that.

If they begin to guilt trip you or accuse you of things, communicate to them that they are doing this in a calm way, and remove yourself from the situation. (It may help to give them a timeline of when you will return to continue to talk, especially if abandonment is the issue in the first place.) No, it isn’t okay for anyone to do that, but please understand people with mental illness / extreme anxiety / previous related trauma can experience intense paranoia, and this may not be because they think lowly of you or want to hurt you.

It is not an excuse and you both should and are allowed to hold them accountable for it, but please try to be understanding. If this persists after you’ve addressed it multiple times then you need to evaluate the situation and make a decision that is best for you. Stepping away from a relationship is encouraged if you feel you wont be treated right. But if you care deeply about the person and feel like this is out of character or coming out of nowhere, this is more to inform you of the fact it may be related to this.

-Reassure them that you were not intentionally ignoring them or intending to upset them, that you care about them, and ask them what about it makes them anxious. Try to learn and understand, as understanding can very much help make a relationship easier. What may not be a big deal to you may hurt someone, and you do not do anything good by trivializing or ridiculing it.

[ava-jones]

Jen and Ava have a duel

Practice challenge fic pt 2.5

Ava sighed as she walked towards the garden she had seen from her window. It was a little more put together than her wild gardens of Sumner, but it would do. 

She stepped out and looked at some of the flowers, it was quiet. She had never found a quiet place in Angeles as long as she had lived there. It was a nice change. She turned to walk down another path when she saw another selected. It took her a moment but she vaguely recognized her as Jen Li. She was one of the people on her managers "do not speak to" list. However, Ava really liked to stick it to her manager so she approached the lost in thought Jen. 

"Oh hey, sorry I didn't realize anyone was out here.” She apologized but secretly was hoping to make a friend here. This would be a very boring job if she was on her own all the time. 

Jen straightened and turned away from her, “It's okay. I'll just head in.”

Ava felt her older sister instincts kick in as Jen sounded troubled, “No wait, are you okay? You look a little uneasy. Not to like, pry or anything but I've been told I can lend a good ear.”

“No, I... It's just been a lot. They never let you have a moment to breathe.” She replied before mumbling something to herself. 

Ava couldn’t help but laugh. This was a place to breathe for her. It wasn't as free as Sumner, sure, but she didn’t have to deal with stalkers waiting outside her house, or cooperating with sleazy men, “Sorry, this has just been-like my vacation away from never being able to breathe. I don't know if you recognize me or know of me but I'm Ava Jones. My work keeps me pretty thrown around like this so I might have a few pointers if you'd like some?” She offered, sitting down on the bench next to Jen. 

“I mean, if you want to,” she responded before smirking, “and I like Friday.” She added. 

Ava rolled her eyes at the comment of her oldest song, “Thanks. It might be my greatest shame but at least I have the excuse of being 15 when I made it.” She then thought for a moment as she tried to find the right words for her advice. “Well for me, I generally find, like a - and please don’t think I'm an Angeles hipster for this- but a 'zen' place. Like I have a pretty big garden backyard because it makes me think of my garden at home in Sumner. So, for you what's a time or place where you just feel really at peace?”

She took a moment to think, “whenever I'm in my apartment and I'm completely immersed in an essay while my music plays on shuffle. I can just forget and focus on where I know I want to be.” Ava thought she sounded like a good potential friend.

“I get that. When I write a song I'm in a totally different place too. Wouldn't get essays though since I dropped out of high school.” Ava paused for a moment trying to find the next way to help her, “Do you have any topics of interest you'd be able to write on while here?” 

She laughed, “Maybe. You think they encourage individual thought here? Because I doubt they'd like my essays.”

“I mean I don’t think they've discouraged it. Whichever person marries the prince will end up queen so they probably want someone with a brain.” Ava thought out loud not really having considered the topic before. 

“A brain with only shared opinions maybe.” Jen half joked. 

“Well what ideas do you think they'd dislike of yours? You don't seem particularly threatening. I doubt you'd suggest whipping out a guillotine.” Ava added genuinely wondering what ideas she could have that would really be that out there. 

Jen laughed, “ You have no idea. What about you? Do you have any opinions you'd be admonished for?” 

She had to think for a moment as she hadn't really had a moment to consider anything but work since she was fifteen, “hmmm, I'm not really political. There are obvious things like women's equality, especially in the music industry. It's really shit right now. But other than that I can't really think of anything. Maybe an easier opportunity for caste growth? But i dont think I'd be hung and quartered for that.”  

“Maybe not. Some people might want you to be, but... Sorry, you said you don't care about politics,” she shrugged, “Guess someone like you wouldn't have to.” 

My eyebrows furrowed at her second comment, what did she mean someone like me? “I mean I don't not care, I just haven't really had the time to think. Also what's that supposed to mean?”

“Well, it's not like pop stars like you need to. People like you can get by because nothing affects you.” I was in shock for a moment. I grew up in a town of mostly 4s and lower. I was very aware of the effects of economic disparity and the flaws of illea. Just because I hadn’t considered them recently did not mean I was unaffected. 

“You literally just met me. You don't know the first thing about me. Jen Li, right?” I double checked, running through all of the info I knew about her. Maybe she had a family member who was an 8? No. Someone died of poverty? No.

“Yeah, what of it?”

“So in my line of work, I have to expect any questions in interviews and have answers prepared. Therefore, when the selected were announced I received basic information on each of the selected. What's your caste again?” I asked, knowing full well that she’s a three. A higher caste than I was for most of my life. 

“I'm a Three.”

“Mhm, and where do you go to school?”

“Something about the way you're speaking sounds like you already know.”

“Yeah but you don't seem to be aware of it. You go to Yale, an extremely expensive school, you're also a three, wealthy enough that they picked your caste for all selected to default to after elimination. So I'm really sure that the economic disparities of our country greatly affect you personally enough for you to have an opinion, whereas I clearly don't.” Ava huffed in anger and stood from the bench, “I'm not really a fan of close minded, wealthy hypocrites, I meet enough of them in my line of work, so I'll see you around.” Ava said, turning to leave. 

Jen yelled after her, “At least I do something with my privilege. Unlike you, I don't strut around on stage while being paid millions of dollars.” 

Ava turned around. She could yell how she’d fixed her family's farm, how she’d paid for the medical costs for Michael, how she kept everyone in her town fed and housed, how most of her money went to charity because she was very aware of the struggle around her as she had grown up in it. But she held her tongue, “You don't know the first thing about me, your assumptions show you as judgmental and arrogant. Add those to the list of reasons I'll be taking my leave.” 

Later that night Ava was enjoying a cup of tea in her room when Emily-Rose burst in sobbing. Ava and Emily weren’t really friends, but they did know each other so Emily must have come to her as her only friend here so far.

“What’s wrong?” Ava asked as she sat down her tea. Emily spent the next few hours crying and telling her how she had tried to befriend Jen. As soon as Jen came up she knew this would be bad. Emily being the blissfully ignorant girl that she is, brought macarons as a welcome gift for some of the girls, she was always so desperate for validation. Jen saw this as a display of wealth instead of an invitation of friendship and rejected it. Emily, never being raised around 6s handed the box off to the maid without speaking or looking at her. Enraged Jen stood from her bed and shoved the box back at Emily and told her she was being disrespectful to her maid. Emily was confused so she tried again and asked the made if she could throw away the box, an act that both would upset Jen as she was throwing away perfectly good food and not doing it herself- despite the fact that Jen had a maid and clearly was not doing somethings herself either, Jen called Emily a bitch and she ran off crying. After hours wondering what she did wrong Emily appeared at Ava’s door. She spent the next few hours crying in Ava’s bed until she tucked her in then stormed off to Jen’s room. 

She banged on the door, “Open this fucking door you shithead!”

Jen’s maid opened the door and looked horrified which caused Ava to feel a bit guilty about the late hour, “Oh sorry, I figured she would have dismissed you for the night.” She apologized. She would have waited for this, but she really would rather get over with her last time speaking to Jen Li. She walked in and walked over to her bed, “Wake up!”

Jen sat up and dismissed her maids question about calling security, “What do you want?”

“I have a question for you? Were you raised by bears? Do you have any idea how to be polite at all! I mean I was raised on a farm and I've seen pigs have better manners to do. What do you do when someone offers you a gift, Jen Li?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” 

“I'm talking about Emily-Rose White and her dumbass macarons. Of course they're extra and yes she can be a little annoying. But when someone offers you a gift, the polite thing to do is to take it and move on even if you don't want it. The rude thing that you did do is refuse it adamantly, then even worse, all the person who gave you the gift a 'bitch' which by the way the use of that word is a whole other discussion.” 

Jen looked up in shock, “She treated my maid like a dog. I don't respect people who don't respect others, especially because of their caste.”

That’s rich (like Jen). Ava laughed before speaking again, “Well then you shouldn't respect yourself! You assumed that because I am a two that I am snobby and hoard money. I donate most of my money, I was born a four, and my closest friends who I live with are sevens. And yes Emily is spoiled, and I will speak to her about that, but escalating a situation by calling someone who is simply ignorant does not help anyone. You are arrogant and cruel and someone, unfortunately me, has to speak to you about that before you go making more well intended people cry themselves to sleep.”

“She's old enough to know better. None of us are children, and I'm not going to coddle a bunch of Twos just because they were raised that way. It's not an excuse to disrespect someone in a lower caste. I don't care about ignorance.”

“So instead of try to help and understand another person you'd rather call them a bitch and make things worse? And she's 19 and extremely sheltered, I wouldn't say she's gained the wisdom to know any better. Also no one is asking you to coddle all I'm asking is for you to be fucking polite. You didn't have to assume I knew nothing of economic struggle, you didn't have to shove Emily around, slam a box into her and call her a bitch. There is a difference between not tolerating disrespect and acting disrespectfully back at another person.”

“I didn't slam a box into her.” Ava rolled her eyes knowing that was untrue, 

“So you didn't shove a box of cookies at her repeatedly? Because at least she handed them to your maid.”

“You're making it sound like I assaulted her. She's the one who barged into my room without asking.”

“Oh okay so if someone comes into my room and gives off bad vibes, I can shove things at them and call them a bitch. It's perfectly polite and respectful?”

“That wasn't the reason I did it!” God arguing with her is like talking to a child Ava thought. 

“It doesn't really matter the reason you did it. Because again, there is a difference between not tolerating disrespect and being disrespectful. You could have said "Hey Emily, that wasn't right. I know you didn't grow up that way but maids are people and need recognition in order for it to be polite" Instead you shoved a box at her, she tried again not knowing any better then you called her a bitch. Which by the way the whole thing could have been avoided if you'd just taken the damn present like a sane well mannered person.” 

“Okay, whatever. I'm sorry. But maybe she should've tried dealing with her problems instead of running away like a child.” 

“Not everyone's a stone cold ass who can handle being treated the way you treated her. She apologized and has spent the last thirty minutes crying to me about how horrible she feels. You didn't allow her an opportunity to realize what she had done wrong before being an aggressor. And I'm not the one you need to apologize too I'm just the one who has to clean up your mess.” 

“Why don't you just go back to your adoring friend and mind your own business, Ava? Just because you're famous, doesn't mean I'm going to listen to you. Get over yourself.” Hah! She’s telling me to get over myself? Clearly she hasn’t heard a word that’s come out of her mouth. 

“It doesn't matter if I'm famous or not I'd be in this room yelling at you just the same. I'm not even really friends with Emily, I just don't tolerate people being cruel and disrespectful especially ones I have to live with. Just because you're a three doesn't mean you know everything and you need to start thinking from other people’s perspectives!” 

“I never claimed to know everything, and I do think from others' perspectives, but excuse me if I don't listen to just another privileged Two who got her little feelings hurt.” She probably has no friends.

“You don't need to listen to Emily. Emily doesn't want anything from you. You need to listen to me. Since apparently the only perspective you think you can understand are lower caste people, as I've lived as a four the majority of my life I can tell you, you're not listening to anyone, you're only looking through your perspective, and you're hurting well intending people because you're one of the most casteist people I've met. I've said all I need to say. Sleep well in your rich bed with your maid next to you miss I-hate-privileged-people-and-am-going-to-lash-out-at-them-because-clearly-I-don't know who I am!” 

Ava groaned and turned around slamming the door behind her. She went back to her room and threw herself down in a chair where she would be sleeping through the night and prayed that Jen would be gone soon or she would. 

[kumkaniudaku]

Our Thing

Happy Valentine’s Day, guys. Here’s one of the two things I plan on writing. I consider all of you my Valentine’s since I never have one, so here’s something before the clock strikes 12. 

Work Count: 2k

Warnings: Not yet proofread

“I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“What? Of course, it’s a good idea! I’m the king of good ideas!”

Voices bounced off of the walls of the Brooklyn apartment building as Chad and CoCo walked side by side to the apartment at the end of the hallway.

The snow lining the sidewalks outside were typical of mid-February, giving Tasha more of a reason to stay inside on the cold Friday. But her friend insisted she leave the dark cocoon she had created for herself in her apartment just across the water in New Jersey.

Valentine’s Day was the designated time of the year to celebrate love. Chadwick had a reason to celebrate, but CoCo could no longer say the same. After months of turmoil and emotional abuse, she was a single woman again and dreading the mere thought of loving someone else. So, she planned to avoid all mentions of love and relationships for the foreseeable future. Even if that meant neglecting tradition.

“Look, Chad, we can celebrate on the 15th! This feels so...weird.”

“We celebrate Valentine’s Day together every year. We can’t skip out this year.”

“I feel like having a girlfriend is the perfect reason to miss a year,” CoCo deadpanned as they reached their intended destination. She could practically feel the excitement buzzing from the other side of the door in the form of Toni Braxton’s greatest hits so far, and started to feel bad for the woman she’d come face to face with for the first time.

“Why miss a year when we can celebrate together? And you get to meet my lady for the first time. It’ll be fun.”

“Fun my ass,” Tasha mumbled into the thick scarf around her neck, earning a look from Chadwick.

“Wanna share that with the class, Miss Greene?”

“Knock on the damn door!”

A muffled feminine voice announced that she was gearing up to answer the door adding to the uneasiness in the pit of CoCo’s belly. She knew that if she was on the other side of this encounter, seeing a woman with her boyfriend on date night would insight a riot.

When the door opened to reveal the woman she only knew as Jay, she was more than shocked at what met her. Jay was beautiful. Her slim figure came with a few curves to compliment her height. She was graceful beyond compare and impeccably dressed, making Tasha feel incredibly bland in comparison.

“Hi, baby,” Jay sang as she wrapped her arms around Chadwick and went in for a kiss. If Tasha had rolled her eyes any harder, they would’ve fallen from her skull and rolled all the way back to New Jersey to beat her home. Catching wind of another presence, Jay offered a courteous smile.

“Oh, hi! Did he forget to give you a tip downstairs?”

“A tip,” CoCo asked, obviously offended and a bit confused.

“A tip for the cab ride. I know it was hell driving in this snow. Just let me grab my purse.”

Chadwick could see Tasha’s struggle to maintain her composure, her mouth opening and closing with words she couldn’t produce.

“You know what? I’m going home. Call me to let me know you got back to your place safely.”

“No, wait,” he exclaimed before grabbing Tasha’s elbow and pulling her back to her original spot despite her struggle to pull away. Noticing the commotion, Jay turned back to Chadwick and Tasha with her brows quirked in confusion.

“Am I missing something.”

“Nope. I’ll just take my tip and be on my w-”

“Jay, this is my best friend Tasha that I’ve been telling you about. Co, this is Jayme Dubois, my girlfriend.”

A brief and unpleasant stare off preceded a chipper energy shift as Jayme went in for a hug. “CoCo, how are you! I have heard so much about you.”

“Yeah well, don’t believe any of it,” CoCo forced out between fake laughter while she made faces at Chadwick over Jayme’s shoulder.

“I’ll keep that in mind. So, what brings you over? Do you have a date in this complex? I always knew white boy Rick liked Black women.”

“Actually, Muffin, I was thinking she could spend Valentine’s Day with us. It’s been tradition for us to spend the holiday together and we don’t wanna break it.”

“So you want Tasia -”

“It’s Tasha,” CoCo interrupted in the most obnoxious tone she could muster.

“Right...Tasha. You want Tasha to spend Valentine’s Day with us? Tonight? Even though this is a couple’s holiday? Couple as in two, mind you.”

“Yes, Jay. It would really mean a lot to me.”

Jayme looked between a visibly annoyed Tasha and the pleading eyes of her boyfriend before letting go of a long sigh and stepping aside to usher her companions for the night inside.

Tasha took in her surroundings and quietly marveled. Though small because what seemed to be standard in New York, Jayme’s dwelling was equal parts colorful and classic. Had she not started the interaction on such a bad note, Tasha would’ve complimented her on the statement couch that matched her ornate rug, but she kept it to herself out of spite.

“So since we have one more, what are our plans for the night, honey bear?”

Chadwick caught the slight scrunch in CoCo’s face and ignored it to refrain from explaining the embarrassing nickname. “Well, we can still go see Definitely, Maybe like you wanted, but instead of dinner in the park, Tasha got us a reservation at this really nice Italian spot in the city.”

“I called in a favor from work. It was no big deal.”

Jayme disregarded CoCo’s smile as she took a sip from her water bottle and sat on the arm of the chair Chadwick occupied. Her hands rubbed patronizing circles around his shoulders and back, forcing Tasha to look away to save the awkward moment.

“Well, it seems like you too already have this figured out, so I’ll just grab my coat. Do you have any more suggestions, CoCo?”

“Nooope.” Tasha sang the word through gritted teeth forced into a smile. Chadwick gave her a sympathetic look before helping Jayme into her coat and ushering each woman safely out of the building.

Tasha remained the front wheel of the tricycle, preferring to stay in front of the couple to refrain from looking like the unwanted third party. With every audible kiss and nauseatingly affectionate gesture, CoCo felt her heart tighten. It wasn’t seeing Chadwick with another woman that had her fighting back tears in the theatre. She needed the sight to push her feelings for him to the furthest corner of her mind. It was the pain of knowing that she had just detached from one of the worst situations in her life, yet wanted to be with him to cure the loneliness she felt.

If she had it her way, she’d cry it out until the work week resumed on Monday in the comfort of her own home, but continued to engage in the conversation when the moment presented itself to appease Chadwick.

In a restaurant full of couples, Jayme, Chadwick, and Tasha were the only threesome in the center of the establishment. Nervous energy characterized the silence left behind when Chadwick excused himself to the restroom, leaving the women in his life to avoid eye contact.

Relief came in the form of a stout waiter visiting the table to collect dinner orders. Without realizing that the order would be incomplete without the third member of the group, the women ordered traditional dishes and wine for the table.

“And the young man? What will he have?”

“Oh! Ummm, I’m not sure,” Jayme responded as she fumbled through the menu. “Maybe you could come back in a few minutes?”

“He’ll have the Parmigiana w/ Pasta, but please be light on the sauce. He gets heartburn from all the tomatoes.”

The waiter took heed of Tasha’s warning before walking away, leaving Jayme to burn a hole in the top of Tasha’s head while she sorted through emails on her cell phone.

“How long did you say you and Chadwick have been friends?”

“Since Fall 1996. So coming up on 13 years,” Tasha answered, looking up to find an indecipherable look on Jayme’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“I just - you know him so well. His favorite candy, where he likes to sit in the theatre, what he eats at certain restaurants. I don’t know if I can keep up.”

The process of finding the right words to assure Jayme, Chadwick returned to the table and unknowingly ended the conversation before it could truly begin.

“Never in my life did I think I’d have to stand in line to use the men’s restroom. I applaud y’all for doing that,” he complained as he took his seat. “Has the waiter come back for orders yet?”

“He did actually. Tasha got you Parmigiana w/ Pasta.” Jayme secretly hoped that Chadwick would reject the choice and ask for a second go at the ordering process. She was met with the complete opposite.

“Hell yeah!” His fist met Tasha’s across the table in his childlike excitement. “I love that shit.”

“Language, honey bear.”

“Sorry, Muffin.”

“Wow,” Tasha whispered to herself, unaware that the others around the table could hear her.

“Did you want to say something, Tasha?”

“Noooope.”

The table fell silent to give way to the idle chatter in the area around them. Chadwick looked between his girlfriend and best friend trying to find a way to get them to interact with each other cordially.

“So, Co, Jayme has been trying to get into basketball lately.”

“Oh really.” Tasha was clearly uninterested as she continued to read emails on her phone from weeks ago. A subtle kick underneath her table made her look up and noticed Chadwick’s non-verbal urging for her to at least pretend to care. “Which team are you interested in, Jayme?”

“I really like the Nets! Trenton Hassell to be exact.”

“Do you? Because he averages less than two points a game. There’s not much to like.”

“Trenton is your friend’s boyfriend right, Jay?”

“Does it matter now? Tasha basically called him a bad player.”

“Not bad, per se. He’s terrible. That’s a better adjective.”

“Oh-kay,” Chadwick interjected to end the escalating conversation. “Jay, how’s work at the fashion house going?”

“Ugh, it is amazing! We got some new pieces last night and they are beautiful. Maybe you could come browse one day, Tasha. Style can always use an update.”

“I consider myself more Maxine than Regine. Thanks though. I’m sure the pieces are nice.”

Tasha successfully contained her laughter at Jayme’s expression, feeling her first surge of happiness for the day.

Chadwick felt helpless as the night continued and each attempt at joining two of his favorite women ended in a snarky comment or shady look. Dinner provided a welcome activity that didn’t require group conversation, giving him the opportunity to cater to each woman. The longer they sat and contemplated grabbing cheesecake inside the restaurant or settling for ice cream on the way home, the more he could feel Jayme disconnecting.

“Muffin, do you want the strawberry cheesecake for here or to go,” he asked as she slid her coat from the back of her chair and collected her purse.

“Actually, I don’t feel so well, honey bear. I’m gonna head home.”

“What? So soon? We didn’t even get to dessert.”

Tasha watched Jayme put on her best “sick” face and gagged internally at Chadwick falling for the charade. Jayme was far from physically sick. If she was feeling anything, it was annoyance at the fact that her boyfriend’s best friend had spent the most romantic night of the year taking the attention from her.

“Well, let me walk you outside and wait for the cab to come.”

“Thank you, honey bear.” Jayme accepted Chadwick’s help into her coat, purposely ignoring Tasha until the last second. “Good night, Tasha. Maybe we’ll see each other for another occasion. Hopefully in a less...crowded environment.”

Tasha released a short chuckle before plastering on a fake smile, “Right. I’ll pencil you into my calendar.”

Jayme offered another fake smile and nod before leading the way out of the restaurant into the Brooklyn streets.

“I’ll pencil you in and the erase that shit. Fuck her.”

Time started to drag as she sat at the table alone, looking more foolish with three plates crowding her space than playing seat warmer for the world’s cutest couple. A glance out of the window gave her access to the tail end of Jayme’s departure. Her inability to peel her eyes away from the private moment showed her two things: Chadwick was far more interested in Jayme than she was in him, and she was clearly upset despite the kiss and hug she provided before disappearing into the backseat of her taxi.

Moments later, Chadwick took the seat directly across from Tasha and sighed.

“Go ahead. Tell me that you told me so.”

“I’m not gonna say that friend,” Tasha smiled. “All I’ll say is you’re gonna need one of these cheesecakes to go because mama is PISSED.”

“You think so?”

“Oh, I know so. But, I’m here to help with gift ideas to make up for this dumbass idea. And I ordered us dessert.”

Chadwick’s ear perked at the sound of a sugar rush to end a night full of terrible decisions. “Did you get the cookie thing with the-”

“The vanilla bean ice cream on top? C’mon now! You know me!” Without hesitation, the pair completed their signature handshake before sitting back in their seats.  “Sorry for ruining your date, Aaron. I’ll pay the tab as a peace offering.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it. I’ll make it up to her. You know there’s a reason she calls me honey bear.”

“Gross. Please, don’t finish that sentence. And what the fuck is Muffin? Are you a white TV dad now?”

Chadwick’s deep belly laugh at CoCo’s expense continued until their shared dessert was placed between them. Instructing Tasha to pick up her spoon, Chadwick began a pseudo-toast.

“To another Valentine’s Day spend together and many more to come!”

Their spoons clinked together in solidarity before the argument of who would get which portion of the cookie began, ending the most romantic day of the year the only way they knew how: together.

                                  _______________

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[maxhoemo]

Chicago - 1923 

It was a cold, crisp evening in February. The snow blew in the harsh wind, cutting the skin like a knife. Women struggled to trudge up the sidewalk, turning up the collars of their fur coats over their eyes. 

Ian Carter, from the comfort of his automobile, laughed as he lit up a cigar. “Ya’ imagine walkin’ in this, Chet?” he asked one of his goons.

“Ech. No way...” The sleazy right-hand shook his head. 

“Come on boss,” said his driver. “Don’t ya’ feel a little sorry for em’?”

“I aint got no sympathy for a dame in a mink coat. She can afford not to walk, she’s just too stupid. Or proud... I’ll tell ya’ who I feel sorry for... Them,” He pointed out the window. A handful of people stood at the corner. This particular corner was well known to a certain segment of society. “Hookers and Gunsels... Them’s the ones with no choice.”

“Ya’ got a big heart, boss.”

“I do. Don’t I?” Ian agreed, leaning back in his seat. “Speaking of my big heart, after dinner I’ve got a certain act of, uhh, charity... I wanna conduct over on 11th. If you know what I mean.”

------

“Don’t I know you from somewhere?”

“I’m sure you don’t....” Max answered, a little more snippy then he intended. He hated cleaning up after these drunks! But he knew he had to help with the family business... And earn money other ways... Prohibition had not been kind to his family. His grandfather’s Australian style pub had been a huge hit when he’d first come over, but the outlawing of alcohol had nearly sent them all to the poor house. Max had been wearing the same stained old work shirt for a year now. Maybe longer. And those thugs... Those thugs who sold his father hooch at jacked up prices and threatened him and skimmed his earnings...! Those dogs got to live the high life! It made Max’s blood boil! He didn’t even notice how rough he was suddenly scrubbing the table. Shaking his head, he threw the rag back into the bucket and went to get some clean water.

As he was filling his bucket, he heard a sudden commotion. He raced out from the back. It was those goons! Coming to threaten his father again. “Hey!” Max called. “Leave him alone!” He tried pulling his dad back, out of their grip but it was no use.

“Max, please, stay out of this...” His father begged. 

“No! I’m not gonna let them hurt you again!” 

“Ya’ think yer tough, daffy boy?” One goon asks. Max was about to make a smart remark when he found his face inches away from the end of a switchblade. 

“Don’t!” His father cried.

Max was just frozen in place.

------

“Oh Man! That was some good corn!”

“Right here,” Ian instructed his driver. “I want this place for myself...” He adjusted his jacket before stepping inside. His chest puffed out and his men on either side of him. He didn’t expect to step into the middle of a commotion.

“Hey!” he shouted. His loud booming voice enough to intimidate the two goons.

“Shit...” One mumbled.

“Hey...” The other spoke up. “This place is Vinny’s territory.”

“Not anymore it aint. Now make tracks. Unless the two of you want a couple of Chicago overcoats, huh?”

“Vinny’ll hear about this...” One threatened as they left.

“Yeah. Tell him all about it...” Ian turned back to the owner. “You okay?”

The younger one, he just shook his head and looked down. 

“What kid, no thank you?” Ian teased. But the boy turned around and walked away. 

Max just wanted all of these types of people out of his life. Though he knew that was impossible as long as his family was on the wrong side of the law. He sat down at an empty table. Running his hands through his hair, he let out a deep exhale. He took a cigarette from his pocket and placed it between his lips. But as luck would have it, he was out of matches.

“Need a light?”

Max looked up. It was him. “Go away.”

Ian didn’t respond. As usual, Ian did what he pleased. Taking a seat beside Max he lit his cigarette for him with his lighter.

Max took a puff, raising an irritated eyebrow at the man. The smoke billowing around his delicate features. 

“Look,” Ian said. “I just wanna talk to you.”

“Well, I don’t wanna talk to you.”

“Don’t I know you from somewhere?”

Max’s face fell. “No,” he hissed in a stern voice.

“Sure I do,” Ian went on. Flashing his famous smile. “Up on the street corner. I wouldn’t forget a pretty face like yours.”

Max clenched his teeth, narrowing his eyes at Ian. “You’re making fun of me!?” He slammed his hand down on the table. “That how rich cunts get their kicks?”

“No, no. You’ve got me all wrong.” Ian placed his hand over Max’s. “It’s not like that. I just mean, you work so hard. For your family. I wanna help you.”

“Help me? I don’t...”

“Look. I know Vinny cut your pops a bad deal. Sendin’ his chopper squad around here. And, well... I just can’t stand to see human suffering.”

Max rolled his eyes. “Sure...”

“What do you charge up there? 25? 30 cents a go?”

“Kick off...!” Max pulled his hand away, his voice cracking.

Shit... Ian wasn’t trying to upset the little daisy.... “Hey, hey. Shh.. Shh...” He grabbed the spindle of Max’s chair with one hand and pulled it closer. Their two seats now practically touching. “I’m just saying, you shouldn’t have to do that.”

“Why the hell would you care!?” Max shouted in a whisper. Obviously this was not the kind of conversation he wanted anyone to overhear.

“Because...” Ian’s eyes shifted back and forth. He looked around the room before leaning in closer. His own voice dropping to a whisper as well. “What’s your name?”

“Max...” he whispered back. Still annoyed, but confused on top of it.

“Max...” Ian leaned in closer. Whispering softly into Max’s ear. “You’re hiding something... Well, so am I...” He ran his hand up Max’s thigh, causing him to jump. He squeezed it, less than an inch away from touching his crotch. Max’s breath hitched in his throat. “More than just how you bring in the dough... Am I onto something...?”

Max didn’t answer.

“You got thoughts in your head. And feelings. And you try and hide em’. But it’s hard, aint it Max?” Ian’s soft whisper. His breath against his ear. It made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He bit down on his lip. “I’m the same way...” Max’s dick twitched. He cursed himself silently. Crossing his legs, Ian retracted his hand. 

“W-what are you going on about....?”

“I want to make you an offer.”

“What...?” He turned to look at him.

“How would you like to never work again? What if you could have everything you ever wanted? Just come home with me. You’ll have everything you could ever need.”

Max’s eyes studied Ian for a moment, before he pursed his lips and leaned away. “I am not interested in being your sex slave.”

“No,” Ian laughed. “Dollface. Ya’ got it all wrong. You don’t gotta do anything. You don’t even have to touch me.”

Max raised an eyebrow. He couldn’t make sense of this guy. Nothing in this world was for free. Max had learned that long ago.

“I just want someone around. Someone I can relate to. To talk to... To... Look at... To...” He struggled to articulate it. “...Keep me company.”

“That’s really all you want...?”

“Swear to God.”

Max was silent for a moment. He seriously considered the man’s offer. Who didn’t want to live the high life? Be one of the lucky ones? Of course it was tempting... But these were thugs. They were dangerous. And if Max had learned anything it was that they were not to be trusted. And besides... “My family needs me.”

“You’re family’ll be safer than they ever were before.”

“How so?”

“Look. That’s what I came here for in the first place. This speakeasy here. This is valuable territory to me. I want it. And that’s all I want. Me and my boys will protect your family. And we’ll give em’ a fair price on the merchandise. And I don’t need no cut.”

“Well, I find that all a little hard to believe.”

“Max. All I’m interested in is taking this place out of the control of that putz. That’s my only motivation.”

“Oh really? It seemed more like you were here to chat me up.”

“You? Nah. You’re just a little bonus,” Ian flashed him that smile of his again. “You in or...”

“Well... I...”

“You look awful hungry. You know I just had this real nice steak and toast. But hell... I could eat again...”

Max frowned. What a sleeze-ball. Max lived entirely off of soup. And even that had been tight lately.... This guy was using everything he could against him. But... What an offer... He could only imagine the way these guys ate. And did he really mean that? He wouldn’t have to touch him? Not do anything at all? It didn’t make any sense. He couldn’t really just be lonely. What if this was all some kind of trick? What if they killed him? Max couldn’t really think of any reason they would have to do that. But these were thugs. Maybe they just got their jollies off that way. But then again... Ian hadn’t hurt anyone... He hadn’t threatened anyone. Maybe Max had them pegged all wrong. After all, he and his family made their money illegally too... Besides. Going home to a leftover pot of broth was not appealing. He couldn’t live in regret over such an oppurtunity. Even if Ian was a phoney, he could at least see for himself. “Umm... Well... Maybe I’ll give it a go. A small go. But if I change my mind... You’ve gotta bring me right back home. As soon as I ask, got it?”

“Of course. You’re a free bird, Max.”

“Well then, I suppose I accept your offer. For now.”

Ian grinned and held out his hand, which Max shook. Was he making a huge mistake...?

[theshapeshifter100]

Guess What? I’m Not a Robot Ch42

Summary: Jericho and Android Allies talk, and Paul actually gets annoyed.

Chapter warnings: mentions of being shot, some strong language

Word Count: 1,588

11PM Monday 15th November 2038

The small space didn’t actually have that many chairs. Allison didn’t give a damn and sat down in one, while the rest of the humans either felt too awkward or just decided not to bother.

“Okay, er,” for once Alex sounded a little unsure. “Megan has a lot of the numbers written down, and is usually our note taker. Megan, are you...” Alex trailed off as they realised that Megan had already made herself comfortable. She sat propped against the wall using her knees as a table. Her sling was tucked against her chest and she scribbled out a title with her right hand. “... Are you good to go?”

Megan clicked the pen a couple of times and nodded, sending a thumbs up to the group around the pen. All without looking up.

Alex looked at Paul for a second, who nodded and shrugged. This wasn’t exactly surprising.

“Ooookay,” Alex turned back to the main group. “What would you like to start with?”

“We’ve been out of the loop for a few days,” Markus admitted, “can you tell us about the outside world?”

“Yeah, President Warren’s been hiding behind Congress as they try and figure things out. Not much has happened yet, although there has been word of an anti android protest being planned in Washington next week.”

“We’re so crashing it,” Allison smirked.

“Do you have the numbers for that?” Markus asked, concerned. “Connor told me there was only a few of you.”

“Megan, numbers?” Alex prompted, and Megan complied, staring resolutely at her pad of paper.

“Several thousand people responded to the anti android post across the country, which isn’t that many really if we compare to the total US population. Currently Android Allies has three chapters. Detroit has ten, California has ninety and thirty in Alabama. We’ve gathered some in the Phoenix and general Arizona area, but no official count yet. There’s some international support from Europe, but they have so far been silent.”

“So, not enough to crash a protest,” Markus summarised.

“We can counter protest,” Ivy suggested. “We just need to get it online and spread the word.”

“And you think that’ll work?” North asked, part curious, part incredulous.

“Never know until we try,” Alex responded. “Plus, we usually get good turnouts from random people walking by.”

“This protest wouldn’t happen to be scheduled for when we’re supposed to send an emissary to the White House?” Markus asked.

“No idea, when are you going?”

“In a few days time.”

“Okay, the protest isn’t until next week. Guess that isn’t public knowledge.”

“Apparently not,” Markus shifted for a second. “I was hoping to ask about a potential partnership between our two groups. I hadn’t expected you to all be, so young.”

“If it helps, Julia isn’t in school anymore.”

“Noted,” Markus filed that away.

“I don’t know,” Julia carefully opposed. “My uncle’s a Detroit Police Captain, it might reflect badly on him.”

“Nothing is set in stone,” Markus assured. “That’s what this meeting is for.”

They all continued to talk, and Megan continued to take notes. After some debate, it was decided that Alex would be the more public face of Android Allies, as they could handle attention better. Everyone else was welcome at Jericho and to fill in if need be. Megan would continue her role as note taker, even if it wasn’t entirely necessary, it was good for both sides to have a copy of events.

“Paul,” Markus came to him. “How would you feel being a go between with our two groups?”

Paul froze in place and Megan glanced at him. He wasn’t happy, in fact, he looked close to panicking.

“Ride the shitstorm,” she mumbled, intending for only Paul to hear. With her pen she began to tap a steady rhythm and Paul began to calm down. None of this had gone unmissed by North and Connor, both of whom were looking at Paul and Megan. Connor had an expression of confusion initially before it cleared, and North looked suspicious.

“I, I suppose that makes sense,” Paul unfroze. “I am the only android in the Detroit chapter and would I be correct in assuming that everyone downstairs would be more comfortable with an android?”

“You would be,” Markus agreed.

“I see, then I should accept.”

“We’re not forcing you,” Josh added. “If you really don’t want to do it, then that’s fine.”

“No, it makes sense for me to do it.”

“Very well,” Markus logged that away faster than Megan could write it. “I think this concludes most of what I wanted to talk about with you today.”

“Cool!” Allison stood up. “Anything else you need from us?”

“I would like to speak with Paul alone,” Markus stated, and Paul instantly looked at Megan, who had frozen for a split second before continuing to pack up. Without a word he held out his hand to help her up, and she took it.

“Thanks,” she murmured, still not looking at the other assembled androids.

“You okay with that Paul?” Alex asked, not sure if Paul had been paying attention.

“Yes, I was just helping the injured to their feet.”

“My legs work just fine,” Megan muttered.

“Then why did you accept my help?”

Megan mock scowled at him, both understanding that other side was messing around. “I’ll see you outside you big goof.”

“Don’t wait up,” Paul said, pausing at a soft squeal emanating from Alex. “Do you have to ship right now?”

“I ship all the time,” Alex had their hands clasped together in glee. “Anyway, let’s wait outside guys,” Alex waved everyone out and closed the door behind them. They all took seats at various heights on the stairs, Megan being closest to the door.

Inside North turned to Paul.

“So, what is your deal with these humans?” she asked.

“Deal?” Paul was confused. “There’s no deal.”

“Then why do you stay with them?”

“What North means,” Markus interrupted. “Is that you’re clearly a deviant, and have no reason to tie yourself to humans, but you still do.”

“And you want to know why,” Paul finished, falling into thought. “It is difficult to explain,” it wasn’t really, but he wasn’t sure if he could properly put it into words.

“Please try,” Markus prompted.

“I’m only really here because of Megan. We, understand each other, support each other. She needs me, and I need her.”

North didn’t look convinced. “What’s she got on you?”

“That I’m scared of dogs,” Paul smirked to make it clear that was a joke.

“So, you stay together out of mutual respect and need?” Markus tried to sum up.

“More or less. I’ll admit it is a little one sided, but Megan is the reason I’m a deviant.”

“What did she do to you?” North asked.

“It’s more what she nearly did to herself. After a period of decent mental health she began to spiral rapidly and turned to self harm. I panicked and stopped her, afraid that she might take her own life.”

“You still don’t owe her anything,” North retorted. “If anything, she owes you!”

Paul was started to get annoyed by her. “Did you see that her left arm was in a sling?”

“Yes, what does that-?”

“That’s from a gunshot wound at point blank range. Originally meant for me,” Paul was glaring at North now. “She took a bullet for me, and you can be damn sure that I would do the same.”

North was out of retorts now, and stepped back.

“I think that sums everything I wanted to ask you,” Markus admitted. “Except for one thing. How would you feel about coming to live with Jericho? With us?”

The question threw Paul for a second, even though it was a fairly logical one. He was an android in Detroit, makes sense for him to be here, and he could communicate with Android Allies remotely. Despite the logic, he felt an emotional response. A strong, negative one; one that almost hurt.

“I, I don’t think so,” Paul shook his head. “Thank you for the offer, but I don’t that would work for me.”

“She’s not forcing you to stay, is she?” North asked, and Paul’s face darkened.

“Megan has never made me do anything,” he growled.

“That’s enough,” Markus stepped in before things got out of hand. “Thank you Paul. Would you mind sending in Megan? I’d like to talk to her too.”

“Fine,” Paul turned and left, simmering with anger.

He let the door fall shut behind him and joined Android Allies on the stairs. Megan was the first over to sit next to him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, and Paul shook his head. “How about talking through the emotion?”

“I know what I’m feeling,” Paul snapped, and instantly regretted it, Megan was trying to help. “Sorry. North just pisses me off.”

“That’s impressive,” Megan smirked.

“Markus wants to talk to you. Just you,” he added when Alex started to stand up.

“Me? Why?” Megan asked, more than a little apprehensive at the idea.

“I forgot to ask,” Paul sighed. “Head in. I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?” she asked, and when Paul nodded she stood up. She walked hesitantly towards the door, and took a step back as Josh, North and Connor exited. She didn’t pay them any thought, and thankfully they left the door ajar.

“Come in,” Markus prompted, and Megan nudged the door open wide enough for her to slip in, and shut it behind her.

So, basically, Paul has to convince the Jericho crew that he and Megan are cool and there's nothing dodgy going on. And Megan's being anti social. I saw a post on tumblr about introverted characters remaining that way because it's not a thing to 'overcome', and my mind immediately went to the bit where she was getting ready to make notes!

You might be able to tell, but I'm not a big fan of North. I appreciate that you need someone to advocate the violent option and her backstory puts her in the perfect position for it. I just hate the forced romance between her and Markus. At best it's forced, at worst (aka when you go completely pacifist) it's completely out of left field and makes no sense. I understand that having multiple romance options was too much for the development team to handle, but surely there could have been an option for Markus to not be romantically involved with North? Sorry, it drives me up the wall... Other Options Flowchart

(Paul) Decline Markus's offer

(Paul) Be serious to North's probing. Be annoyed.

(Paul) Remain calm. Start shouting

Tags! @nightmarejim @septicart-appreciation