#&musings/jaime

[musings-of-an-aesthete]

Roulette of my favourite blorbos, in honour of the revival

THE GUY WHO DIDN'T LIKE MUSICALS

[initforthethrill]

First time asking kind of nervous lol

Also , for the future, is there anything you wouldn’t do? Like rules or something? Maybe I missed it but I didn’t see anything that lined out the Do’s and the Don’ts.

Anyway! What about an Ex-Wife Cate? Maybe there’s still love between you and her but it’s hard to find it because of personal stubbornness or what not.

Kind of Bitchy Ex-Wife Cate? The kind of Ex-Wife that you’d probably make a “I hate my wife” joke about. Maybe something still tethers you to her, whether it be a kid or public reputation? Maybe it’s some sort of famous messy relationship, you both swear up and down you hate eachother and yet you can’t stop talking about the other.

Idk, it’s hard to wrangle all my thoughts into one cohesive and totally not vague ask 😭, I really hope this is easy to understand but I totally get it if it’s not.

Again your bots are very fun and I like them a lot. Take your time , best of luck 👍

omg hi welcome, anon<3 don't be nervous, i promise i don't bite hehe...happy to have you here!!!

you're right, i've never outlined a dos/don'ts for requests before receiving this ask...honestly, i didn't really expect to have so much positive interaction to the point people even wanted to request anything lol but this is the perfect reminder to include a section in my masterlist FAQ for this exact reason :)

so, here is the link to my rules !

as for your request. i love love love ex-wife cate! she's kinda lowkey giving emily/hope from a simple favor...

i have a currently unpublished ex-wife!cate bot that's along the same lines :) and don't worry, i totally understand what you're saying and i'm sure i can riff off your thoughts for a few more ex-wife cate bots hehe but in the meantime—since you're so kind—have some headcanons<3

bitter and bitchy ex-wife!cate who still loves you

ex-wife!cate is the kind of ex-wife who corrects your grammar mid-argument and then reminds you—loudly—that she taught you how to hold a fork properly. she also still signs texts with your hyphenated last name just to piss you off.

ex-wife!cate who always finds a way to mention you—usually in the form of a backhanded compliment or a "funny little story" that goes viral on twitter for being accidentally romantic—whenever she's on a talkshow.

ex-wife!cate who publicly plays into the long-running pr disaster that was considered your relationship—messy, scandalous, tabloid bait—but privately still wears the necklace you gave her for your third wedding anniversary and gets quiet every time someone asks if she’s dating again. (the answer is always no)

ex-wife!cate who sends you flowers every year on the anniversary of your divorce with a fourth of july themed card that says “happy independence day 🥂”.

ex-wife!cate who still refers to you as “my wife” in conversation, then immediately corrects herself like it was an honest mistake. “my wife—well, ex. temporarily. legally. technically. you get it.”

ex-wife!cate who has never taken your last name off her mailbox. claims it’s for the kid’s sake. also claims you don't deserve the effort it would take to scrape the label off.

ex-wife!cate who texts you every time you post something vague and emotional with some variation of: “that wasn’t about me, right?” followed by “actually don’t answer. i don’t care.” (she 100% cares. her screen time report is humiliating.)

ex-wife!cate who once made a custom wine label that said “divorced but delicious” and gifted it to you at a party, in front of everyone.

ex-wife!cate whose dating history post-divorce is mostly blonde younger versions of herself, and everyone—including you—has noticed.

exwife!cate who ends up calling you every time she's drunk. sometimes to yell. sometimes to flirt. sometimes to say nothing at all. (“i hate you,” she whispered once, softer than she meant to. “goodnight.”)

exwife!cate who still calls you up whenever the house has an issue. it starts when you absentmindedly fixed something around the house when you came to pick up your kid. she absolutely abuses this, weaponizing "urgent" domestic crises that are barely inconveniences just to summon her hot, handy ex-wife like she’s ordering takeout. some of her famous hits (read: ridiculous but completely serious "emergencies")

“the faucet is dripping.” you get there expecting a flood. it’s one drop every thirty minutes. cate’s in silk, sipping wine, like “it’s driving me insane. please. i haven’t slept.” “my smoke alarm won’t stop beeping.” turns out it just needs new batteries. cate doesn’t own a step stool. or a screwdriver. or shame, apparently. “the wifi’s out.” it’s not. cate just “forgot” the password and says she can’t think straight when she’s “in distress.” (she could’ve texted. she didn’t.) “i think there’s something wrong with the window.” you arrive and cate dramatically gestures at a smudge of bird poop. “it’s ruining the ambience,” she insists. “the light bulb in the hallway died.” you're like, “...so change it?” cate blinks slowly and says “that’s not my love language.” and really that's your fault for assuming she'd have a latter when she still doesn't own a step stool. “the wine fridge is making a weird noise.” you crouch down to listen. cate sighs deeply from the kitchen island and goes, “it’s probably just lonely.” “i can’t get this jar open.” it’s pickles. she doesn’t want the pickles. she just wants your forearms and that little grunt you do. “the bed’s making a creaking sound.” you're like, “okay...?” cate tilts her head and murmurs, “want to help me test it?”

now she makes it a point to stand there in her robe, arms crossed, pretending to be unimpressed while her heart absolutely stutters at the sight of you in a backwards cap, grunting over a wrench. there's also a running list of potential fake emergencies in her Notes app. “for leverage. for diplomacy. for womanhood.”

ex-wife!cate who starts wearing the perfume you used to like. not for you. just because. (definitely not because you paused mid-sentence last week and said you remembered that smell.)

ex-wife!cate who begins keeping little tabs on your life again. just casually. an Instagram like here, a mutual friend interrogation there. she starts showing up at events she used to skip. it’s subtle. (it’s not subtle.)

ex-wife!cate who goes completely silent for a full thirty seconds before saying "don't be ridiculous" when your kid asks if mommy is in love with mama again. then she kisses their forehead and stares off like she’s in a french film.

ex-wife!cate who leans in too close one night when you co-host a birthday party, gets wine drunk, and murmurs “we were stupid good at being in love.” then she walks away like she didn’t just ruin both their evenings.

ex-wife!cate who refuses to learn your new girlfriend's name. she calls her “what’s-her-face” or “intern barbie” or—when she’s feeling generous—“your plus-one.”

ex-wife!cate who shows up at drop-offs looking ridiculously hot. lip gloss, heels, designer sunglasses. “it’s called setting a precedent,” she mutters when your kid asks why she’s wearing a blazer to school pickup.

ex-wife!cate who posts cryptic Instagram captions like “you never get over your favorite song.” everyone knows it’s about you. including you. especially you.

ex-wife!cate who is so nice it’s terrifying when she meets your new girlfriend at a function for the first time. too polite. too smiling. “you have such a…natural look. that takes confidence.”, she says, sipping wine and adjusting her wedding ring that she still wears sometimes. for fashion, of course. she eventually cracks and texts you at 1:43am: “is she good to you?” followed by “don’t answer that.” followed by “unless you want to.”

ex-wife!cate who leaves her wedding ring on during parent-teacher conferences just to see if you notice. and when you show up without yours, cate sighs loudly and says, “you always were so good at quitting.”

ex-wife!cate who insists on being called “the ex-wife” instead of “my ex.” not a wife. the wife. she earned that title and she’ll be damned if it goes unused.

[chickren]

i miss horny jaime brienne fandom

[musing-and-music]

Masterpost - My 2024 in fics

I didn't do my masterpost in 2023, but this year I decided to take the time to do so!

This was a very Jaime/Brienne year, with many exchanges, but I'm happy that I wrote some FMA fics (all of Royai week!), and even a Faramir/Eowyn one-shot along the way.

The presentation of this post will be like in 2022: fandoms, then the NSFW fics

I'm kind of sad that I haven't made covers for everything I wrote this year, but I'm still pretty satisfied with what I've done!

Have fun!

Fullmetal Alchemist

Royai Week 2024:

Day 2 - Silent gratitude: Rating T, 2524 words

Three times Riza and Roy help and support the other, who can't express their true gratitude for it

Day 3 - Expected news and unexpected announcement Rating T, 2239 words

When he finally entered the office, he already looked tired, although Riza couldn’t tell if it was because of their short night or the many questions of his soldiers. He greeted his men and asked her to come to his private office.

“Did they say anything?” was his first question as soon as he settled at his desk.

“Did the soldiers ask about the next commander of these headquarters?” Riza retorted.

Roy laughed. “Alright, Major, I asked for that. So, we wait for the end of the day, as planned.”

“As planned, sir.” Riza smiled back at him.

Day 4 - Building up her facade Rating T, 1026 words, Major Character Death

1954: Roy Mustang, former Fuhrer and President of Amestris, dies at sixty-nine of a heart attack.

Irene helps her mother prepare to face the world on the morning of his funeral.

Day 5 - Symbol of my love and loyalty Rating T, 739 words

Roy and Riza celebrate five years of shared love with perfect gifts

License for good behavior, Rating G, 1875 words

Edward decides he should learn to drive, and despite Winry's doubts about the use for a driving license, he goes to East City to ask the best person he knows to teach him

Part 29 of Amestrian chronicles

Mourning sun, joyful rain, Rating T, 642 words

As far as he remembered, rain had never been part of Roy’s grief.

So, the day it rained on a happy day of his life, Roy didn’t hate rain as much as he had during his life.

(Or 5 times Roy grieves while the sun shine, and one time he finds happiness in the rain)

25th one-shot in Royai : a OS Compilation

A Song of Ice and Fire

In a crowd of thousands Rating T, 3313 words

As Daenerys is crowned for good, great houses are called to swear fidelity to her. And Jaime is called to be judged

Still, he can count on Brienne's righteousness and support to protect him in a trial that… might not really be one?

Each step of the way Rating T, 744 words

When illness strikes, Jaime and Brienne know how important it is to stick together and support each other

6th one-shot in my collection A few nights in Westeros

You make me feel like I deserve this Rating T, 2447 words

"Who's there?" Brienne's voice cut across the mist, strong and wary. Jaime smirked.

"Someone who thinks Harren the Black never thought about the cold of the Long Night when he had his castle built. Is there some place next to you, wench?"

Aren't we oath keepers, sweetling? Rating T, 2702 words

“Ser! Ser Jaime!” At Podrick’s frantic cries, fear seized his heart. The boy was running between the trees toward him, panic written on his face.

"Podrick? What happened? Is it your lady?”

The boy stopped next to him, out of breath, and took a few seconds to recover. “Ser, lady Brienne is leaving,” he announced, grief in his eyes. “She said she was giving up the search for lady Sansa, that she’d marry ser Hyle and go back to Tarth with him.”

Through the fog, under the sun, in the light of the moon Rating T, 4553 words

The invitations to Robb Stark’s wedding came: one for her, and one for Jaime, since he was one of the only Lannisters the Starks tolerated. Catelyn insisted that if she didn’t bring a plus one, she would introduce her to some of her children and nephew’s friends. “It’s sad that you stay alone, Brienne, and I want you to meet some worthy men.”

Brienne talked about it to Jaime, expressing her desire not to be used for matchmaking purposes. Jaime’s immediate reply was “let’s fake it, then.”

The name was a knife, twisting in her belly Rating T, 23k words (on-going)

Brienne grows up in Tarth with the pain that Jaime Lannister's name inflicts her each time she hears it. She grows up hating her soulmate for his actions and for the pain she feels because of him.

In the dungeons of Riverrun, she finally meets him, and lady Catelyn charges them both with a quest that will change her pain into something different.

The Lord of the Rings

A few days wait Rating G, 785 words

Eowyn has just given birth to her first-born. However, not being pregnant anymore doesn't mean she can't immediately go run and ride around Emyn Arnen as she wishes

Faramir guarantees her that this wait will not be for nothing

“We won’t forbid you to ride in the hills and set broken legs again, my love. However, your health comes first. I do not wish to see you collapse because you will have overestimated your strength.”

Mature/Explicit fics

To conquer frustration Rating M, 5018 words

After a few months dating Jaime, Brienne feels ready to make love with him

Jaime is eager to do it with her

However, their friends keep getting in their way, until they do what's needed to be alone

OR

Four times friends and family interrupt Jaime and Brienne, and the one time they can finally have sex

Royai Week 2024: La curiosité est un vilain défaut Rating M, 748 words

Black Hayate wakes up to find Riza has a guest. Following his nose and the strange noises he hears, he opens her bedroom door…

Up for the long ride, Rating E, 23k words

During her first eventing competition outside the Stormlands, Brienne meets the infamous Jaime Lannister. After an explosive encounter, their relationship builds up on heated moments, whether it’s during the competition, with their words, or under the sheets (and other places)

Or

Five times Jaime and Brienne have a secret wild ride, and one time they kiss publicly

Bring the storm (all your love like a flood) Rating E, 2532 words

Inside Riza's official letter, Rebecca finds Jean's secret letter. It brings back the memory of that stormy night, and during another stormy night, Rebecca relives it in the safety of her room

Part 8 of Regency AU series

[rosenlily-aka-choconut]

I wanted to give you a kudos on your latest JB one-shot, but AO3 decided I couldn't 😭

But those two, lying to themselves until they can't anymore, because their attraction and love is too strong, they get me every time! 😍

@musing-and-music Thank you 😀

You’ve always been someone who has regularly commented/kudoed on my works.

You’re precious ❤️❤️

[a-jaded-mirage]

Blue Beetle and El Paso

I would be lying if I said that I was not disappointed by the canonical home of Jaime Reyes being changed both in the movie and in recent comics. However, I would also be lying if I said that I absolutely detested the movie for whatever reason. I enjoyed the movie for what it was and what it meant to the Hispanic and Latinx communities. It is a huge deal, and I think it was done well. Going back to my original point, it is hard to be disappointed when it feels as though I am not missing out on much when Blue Beetle's relationship with El Paso was never done true justice anyway.

The West Texan Mexican-American experience is hard to fully encapsulate into one solid thought or idea. I can confidently say that the approach DC had in most iterations of the comics, cartoons, recent movie, and other forms of media always toned the experience down and made it a duller aspect of his story. I can not recall even a single time when El Paso was brought up or portrayed in a way that was recognizable to an El Pasoan across any of the aforementioned media. It always felt disconnected and out of touch, but I still held it close to my heart because it was something alluding to home.

In a way, I am happy that Blue Beetle is now from the fictional (emphasis on that) Palmera City, because it reiterates that heroes can only be super in Hollywood when they are superficially placed in a cookie-cutter big and flashy city. All I really have to say to that is, good for them. They did what they needed to in order to reach a wider audience. I am sure that the payoff for the corporate powerhouses at the end was worth it even at the cost of individuality. Come to think of it, my mind cannot really conjure up any mainstream superheroes that operate in any desert long term. Any time spent in the less "glamorous" parts of the Southwest is almost always smaller plot-driving settings that act as a stepping stone for bigger heroes and not as a home.

Anyway, all of this is to say that I understand why they did what they did with the setting. I even still happen to think the entire production team did a great job, but that does not stop me from wondering what could have been at any point in Blue Beetle's recent history if someone had used the beauty, culture, and complexity found uniquely in Sun City far more productively. There was so much more potential than the oftentimes vague and noncommittal nods given to the setting. It just was not utilized to its fullest potential, and if that would have been a continuous theme, then I am glad that they are no longer working with it.

Shifting to something less ranty, I absolutely suck at drawing. I am a STEM person through and through, but that did not stop me from visualizing all of the things I would have loved to have seen portrayed in a Blue Beetle story while experiencing being a teenager in El Paso. He was my absolute favorite superhero because he was one that I saw every single day in my hometown, and there were several things I felt he would have enjoyed doing.

For example, we have a ton of high schools. If I had to narrow down the ones I think Jaime Reyes would have attended, I would probably say my top three picks would be: El Paso High School, Bowie High School, or Austin High School. An interesting custom that schools in El Paso have is placing the first initial of a myriad of our high schools on the mountains. They are huge and visible, as well as a testament to our school spirit and pride. The Top 10 percent of most of our graduating classes wear different colored gowns at graduation than the rest of their peers, which is something I was told was not a common occurrence in most other states.

Homecoming is a huge deal, and people will buy, make, or sell Mums and corsages. It is kind of difficult to explain to people from around the states who may not be entirely familiar with what it is, but it is an old Texan tradition that is typically shared between sweethearts (dates) on the last day of Homecoming spirit week. It is something that a lot of people go all out for, and plenty of pictures exist on the internet of the various ways that they can be customized. I always thought it would be cool to see what Jaime Reyes would do for his Mum.

Prom is pretty much Prom wherever you are in the States for the most part, and ours are held at some great venues in the city, so there is not much more to say about that part of the high school experience. As far as colleges go, some of the most popular for teenagers at El Paso high schools to apply to are UTEP, EPCC, TTU, Texas A&M, and any of the other UTs (UT Austin, UT Dallas, and UT San Antonio to name a few). There are even several private universities like Rice, Baylor, and Trinity to name a few more. Hell, a lot of us even go to schools like NMSU in what is essentially our sister city of Las Cruces, there is also UNM, ASU, U of A, and CU. There are so many different choices for universities that are realistic and in the general area that Jaime absolutely could have chosen to apply to and attend. I think that seeing him initially as a Junior or Senior in an El Paso high school, and subsequently watching his transition into a college student in the city or elsewhere while grappling with his powers and responsibilities as Blue Beetle would have been so fascinating.

As far as places that it would have been nice to see him interact with at some point, it would be easier to just give a general list of my favorites. I wish that the following places could have been incorporated into the Blue Beetle story at some point long past: Chico's Tacos, Franklin Mountains State Park, Transmountain Road, Downtown, The Plaza Theater, Cielo Vista, The Fountains at Farah, Sunland Park, the Outlet Shoppes, Rosa's Cantina, Southwest University Park, Don Haskins Center, Concordia Cemetery, Scenic Drive-Overlook, the El Paso Star, Hueco Tanks, San Jacinto Plaza, St. Patrick Cathedral, any farmer's market or swap meet, any of our museums (Art, History, Archeology, Border Patrol, Science, Chamizal), the Coliseum, Ardovino's, Orange Cow, Burrito House, Bowie Bakery, Lucy's Cafe, any of our dulcerias, as well as literally any of our regional and national recreational chains. Obviously, there is so much more, but all of what I listed could have definitely been used for something whether it be a fight with a villain of the week, or opportunities to flesh out Jaime's character more socially and individually. That, and it tickles my funny bone to imagine the Teen Titans trying something like Chico's Tacos for the first time.

Unrelated, Jaime would totally listen to Khalid.

Naturally, there are so many other locations in surrounding cities and states that easily could have been used as well for any plot points that would have added even more Southwestern charm. I mean, part of New Mexico's tourism schtick is literally aliens (Roswell), and the scarab is in fact an alien now. However, for the purposes of this, I focused on El Paso. That is really all I have to say about all of this, if you stayed for my entire rant I appreciate it. If not, I totally understand, and I really just wanted to put my thoughts out into the world and write this love letter to my home city.

I love that Blue Beetle is now further into the general public's eye, and that his character means something for the entire extended community. He now has room to change, grow, and evolve from what he was before in a way that is far more defined by the expectations for a mainstream hero. Even if the El Pasoan Jaime Reyes can only exist truly in my mind, it is an okay price to pay for a narrative that touches my heart specifically. I am most certainly not a writer, so I hope that the next time we have a hero from El Paso, some of my city's charm can truly be done justice. After all, the only person who can characterize an El Pasoan correctly is an El Pasoan.

[kaitlinamberxo]

“By what right does the wolf judge the lion?”

kaitlin's 100 favorite fictional muses — 31/100: Jaime Lannister

[voidfell]

If one more person rags on him for his choice to move to Gotham, he's going to lose it. He doesn't care about the crime aspect, okay?? Rent is cheap, school is cheap, and there are enough vigilantes in this city that you can't go more than two blocks without encountering one, which theoretically should mean he never has to be involved.

This has not been the case, but only because he personally knows enough of them from the Team that they can just drop by uninvited.

"Believe me, no one is more pissed about this then the guy who shares my brain and goes ballistic every time someone bumps into me on the sidewalk, alright?"

Anyone who actually poses a threat to him will find themselves meeting the business end of whatever weapon the Scarab decides is appropriate anyway.

[damnedance]

meme tag || always accepting

@firebloodicee's cersei:

❛ you’ll find someone new ; you always do. ❜

jaime ( or rather whatever is left of him, more of a shadow of the man he was before losing his dominant hand ) stops and stares at cersei, almost with disbelief

"what are you talking about?" his face contorts in a frown, green eyes searching hers; unsure, cersei always takes reins of things, did she not? he dreads to think where this is going. "i have no wish to find anyone else, no need for anyone else - i am on your side, our side..." he takes a step closer to her, tentative, but when he can't meet her eyes his frown deepens.

"cersei, look at me." he grabs her chin between his remaining fingers, gentle but firm, forcing her to look into his eyes. he wonders what on earth is she talking about... brienne?

[xxpeppermintxx109]

doing edits and remembering the way I made rhaenyra give jaime her favor unprompted at her wedding tournament. while her husband sits right next to her.

if i was rhaegar, i’d hate jaime too, cause what do you mean my wife just gave you her favor when you didn’t even ask for it??

[ofluckandmagic]

FANDOMLESS OC | JAIME ROANN |

Temporary artwork made with Komoworm's Person Maker

Name: Jaime Roann

Alias: Death’s Eyes, Bluejay, The Death Head Moth, A Voice on the Wind

Age: unknown, appears late 40s.

Gender: Genderless, Femme-adjacent

Sexuality: Lesbian.

Pronouns: She/Her

Origin/Role: Goddess of Death

Based off of: Death Head Moths, Bearded Vultures

Current residence: Earth

Eye color: red-orange (olive green when disguised)

About this portrayal:

Jaime is an oc for an upcoming webcomic/animated screenplay called ‘Soulmakers’, thus her portrayal may change through time. She’s one of six characters for that, but she’s a work in progress.

I made her long before watching any media with death played by a woman, but she holds a very special place in my heart.

(I’ll update/edit this to reflect her actual artwork once I finish it)

In most verses, Jaime is as old as life itself. She is the embodiment of death and chaos, and all things decay.

Her animalistic features are a result of gods taking aspects of animals when they come to Earth, but also represents her tie to life itself. Bearded vultures are inherently the bringers of carnage, picking off roadkill and whatnot, while Death’s Head Moths are omens, both good and bad.

Her specific design is meant to emulate the cutesy nature of these animals, while also showcasing the misconceptions about them. Similarly, the misconceptions about death.

She wears gloves at all times, preventing her death’s touch from harming others. In some au’s she’s cursed with death’s touch, others it’s in her nature.

She loves the color pink, but is very fond of hues of purple and black. Her favorite color, despite these claims, is green.

Jaime is ourwardly cocky and cunning. She loves playing tricks on the other Gods, causing chaos and mischief.

Her smile is like a predator hunting prey, but she has a soft spot/fondness for children. While she can be unnerving, she makes an effort to not come off as too off putting. Her confident nature leads her to having self discovery.

When someone dies, Jaime makes an effort to bring them like any grim reaper might, but with the added bonus of guiding them either in her vulture or moth form.

She is deeply fascinated by humans, and finds their shorter lives… confusing. While she does her best to ensure they are able to get where they need to after death, she has also been no stranger to helping them linger on earth.

Her favorite foods include warm autumn soups, pumpkins and coffee. She loves autumn in particular due to the orange and brown hues, and the start of the end of the seasonal cycle.

[rcgued]

surprise im a multimuse now >:)

[musing-and-music]

Tell me about your Time Travel Fix It story :O Characters slotting into new sections of the story is such a fun way to play with plot!

Keep in mind, if it's not FMA, all I know about GoT is from other people's ranting/raving, so I may require some ranting/raving for context ^_^

Thank you for the ask!

This WIP isn't show canon, but book canon. Well, in a way, since the time-travel causes a canon divergence 🤷‍♀️

To summarise the plot of the books for the main characters of the fic, Brienne is sent by Jaime Lannister to look for Sansa Stark, and on the way she meets some people, she fights, before being captured by a group led by the resurrected corpse of Sansa's mother, who wants to hang Brienne for her bond to the Lannisters. In the books Brienne chooses the sword and must find Jaime to bring him in front of Lady Stoneheart, who thinks him responsible for her death.

In the fic, though, Brienne dies. But she meets the Seven gods, who send her back in time to change a few things and protect some people who need her.

Another sneak peek!

[sdwolfpup]

17 for the festive prompts?

Thank you for asking!

17. "Come sit by the fireplace, it's getting cold"

"Come sit by the fireplace, it's getting cold." Jaime pats the cushion next to him on the loveseat and gives Brienne his best puppydog eyes.

They don't work.

"Cold?" She glances out the window, where he knows she's looking at the Dornish sun blazing down on the beach next to the private cabin he's rented. The ceiling fan whirs above her head, doing its best to push the heat out, or at least lazily move it around a little, like an underpaid fast food employee mopping the floor at closing. "Are you sick?"

He considers feigning it for a moment, except he knows she'd just transform into caretaker mode and it's not a thermometer he's interested in having up his ass.

"Sick with love," he tries instead and at least garners a reluctant smile with her eyeroll. "It's Sevenmas, there should be a fire at Sevenmas."

"Based on how hot it is, I'm not convinced we're not in the middle of one." There's sweat beading along the top of her thick upper lip that he'd like very much to taste.

Drawing her in by arguing always works, so he says, "If it's bothering you, we could always leave. You don't have to commit to a bad idea."

"It was your idea to come here in the first place!" she reminds him loudly even as she starts moving towards the couch.

Perfect. "I only said we should get away from our families for the holiday."

Brienne gestures around them with one thickly muscled arm and Jaime works very hard to remember his plan. "Yes, but when I agreed, it was you who picked this exact beach."

She's nearly within reach; he can smell her suntan lotion. "You asked for as far as possible," he says innocently.

That's enough to get her to step almost between his legs, blocking out the fire. "I asked--"

Jaime's arm snaps out whip-quick and he tugs her directly into his lap where she lands with a grunt--hers and his.

"Got you," he murmurs, sliding his arms around her waist. She doesn't fight him, but she does pull back to give him a narrow-eyed stare.

"You tricked me."

"Into this, the trip, or the marriage?" He kisses the side of her neck and finds it salty.

She sighs and melts into him. "It doesn't matter--I wanted all three."

"I knew it." It's impossible to keep the smugness out of his voice, until she starts moving on his lap. "I thought you were hot," he rasps as his brain cells start rapidly depleting.

"You know what, I am." Brienne pulls off the tank top she'd been wearing and Jaime thinks he'll make sure they come to Dorne every Sevenmas from now on.

(Festive prompts here)

[calisources]

GAME OF THRONES: HISTORIES AND LORE - ROBERT'S REBELLION. all sentences are taken from a mini-web series of hbo's game of thrones with different characters narrating different aspects of the world. this specific sentence memes is made from various videos of perspectives of robert's rebellion. change pronouns, names and locations as seen fit. this is a long post.

By Robert Baratheon.

The crimes of House Targaryen were too heinous to go unanswered.

The noble houses of Baratheon, Stark and Arryn united to oppose and overthrow the line of the cursed Dragon Kings.

We tried to take Ashford Castle in the Reach but the Tyrell’s beat us back.

The Targaryen searched from house to house for Robert Baratheon.

The combined forces of Ned Stark and the Tully's swept into the city guards. What a day that was. It's now known as the Battle of the Bells.

 It was his heir, Rhaegar who started the whole damn thing

Finally emerged from hiding in the south and assembled his own army to face us.

The battle that would decide the fate of the Seven Kingdoms occurred at the crossing of the Green Fork of the Trident River.

Rhaegar commanded the royal host which was some 40,000 strong.

Their  forces were outnumbered by nearly  5000 men but that didn't matter, they were fresh that we were battle-hardened and had justice on our side.

The Stag and The Dragon right there in the fort of the river.

Ned Stark goes to the capital to face the Mad King and make him pay for his crimes.

By Viserys Targaryen.

The Targaryens, Blood of the Dragon and the last of old Valyria were loved by their subjects and admired far and wide as the greatest dynasty in the history of the Western world.

Three centuries of Targaryen rule was shattered by the usurper Robert Baratheon and his band of traitors.

House Baratheon owed its very existence to the Targaryen.

Was it not Aegon the dragon himself who elevated the bastard Orys Baratheon in the war of conquest?

There are some who dare to claim Robert and his allies had reason to rebel.

They say the crown prince stole the usurper's lady love. They say my father King Aerys murdered Rickard Stark and his son without just cause.

Whether these charges are true or not? It doesn’t matter if the dragon answers to no one.

Aerys' good name has been besmirched in the years since the Rebellion. He’s been called a dangerous madman, a monster, a tyrant that brought  his tragic end upon himself.

My father was a victim of weaklings in his Council, lackwits who failed him in his hour of need and let the rebellion spin out of control.

At the Battle of the Trident, it was there the valiant Rhaegar met Robert in single combat but the gods betrayed him, and he perished by the usurper’s hand.

The Battle of the Trident seemed to herald the end of the Dragon kings.

I was the surviving heir to the throne. 

He sent me to the island fortress of Dragonstone along with my mother Queen Rhaella who was great with child.

King Aerys Targaryen prepared to defend his throne to the bitter end.

By Oberyn Martell.

 House Martell could have waged war until the end of days.

His royal parents had not produced a sister for him to wait, so he had to look elsewhere for a princess and there was only one in Westeros. Elia of house Martell.

She was not the most beautiful woman in the world or even in Dorne but rare for a woman from our land.

Her flower came with no thorns. She was kind and clever with a gentle heart.

I loved her, I feared for her for years I fended off lesser men from her but when Rhaegar came even I failed.

He was beautiful and the crown prince of the Seven Kingdoms and our mother had worked so hard to secure the match.

They were wed and he took her from her home from those who loved her and would die for her and locked her in his red keep.

She bore him a daughter and a son though, each almost cost her her life.

Elia loved Rhaegar, she obeyed him and he chose to steal away Lyanna Stark.

A pale northern girl whose veins ran with ice like all her people.

 instead of disciplining his faithless son, King Aerys executed the Starks when they came seeking justice.

Even in his madness he knew that no true Dornishmen would ever take up arms against our beloved princess and that we would fight to the death.

Prince Rhaegar, who was too slow or too arrogant for Robert's Warhammer.

Lord Tywin's Army sacked his friend's city while Lord Tywin's son  murdered the king he'd sworn to protect.

War is terrible and men must become terrible to wage it.

Lord Tywin's dog Ser Gregor Clegane the mountain, made Elia watch as he murdered her daughter and dashed her infant son's head against a wall.

With her baby's blood still on his hands he raped my sister and murdered her.

By Catelyn Tully/Stark.

Brandon Stark of Winterfell sought and won my hand.

Brandon was heir to the north and a suitable match for a daughter of house Tully.

Brandon was wild and terrifying, never far from laughter or trouble.

I loved him with all the fire of her first passion.

Prince Rhaegar Targaryen abducted Brandon's sister Lyanna. Hot-blooded as always, Brandon immediately rode for King's Landing to demand justice.

Brandon's younger brother, a man whom I had never met though of whom none spoke ill or spoke anything at all.

I spent the war by the windows waiting for a raven to hear if my son would grow up fatherless or at all. We knew the price of defeat.

When he came home to me he could not meet my eyes. I saw the reason by his side.

Many  men have bastards, I know, and under the strain of war any man no matter how honorable may forsake his vows for a night of warmth that he may never know again.

Ned Stark was not built like other men. His northern honor would not let him sequester his shame in some distant holdfast.

These bitter memories are sweet now they are all I have left of my Ned.

The Starks are of the North and like the snows of winter when they come south they melt away.

By Ser Jaime Lannister.

Kingslayer. A word every man and woman in Westeros spits at me, though many can't even name the king I slayed.

 I understand to them,  I'm a symbol of everything they'll never have and a warning that'll

never apply.

When a  dog goes mad we put it down. Why not a King?

I was never supposed to be on the Kingsguard. 

Oh as a boy I dreamed of the white cloak like all boys.

If Tywin Lannister forbade the tides, the waves would cease.

She could arrange for the king to raise me to the Kingsguard so I could stay in the city with her.

Is it a rock you want or me? Come morning she had my consent.

 I would join the Kingsguard for her. I would force my lands and title for her. I would forsake our family for her.

Everything started to fall apart at Harrenhal.

King Aerys made a great show of my investiture.

I admit despite my father's anger I was happy and foolish.

He commanded me to return to the Red Keep to guard the Queen and little Prince Viserys. 

The Mad King had chosen me to spite my father and steal his heir. I wanted to rip off the white cloak but it was too late.

I kept the King's secrets when his Pyromancer said caches of wildfire beneath King's Landing.

It fell to me to hold the red keep.

Royal Command,  bring me your father's head if you were no traitor.

Burn them, burn them all he kept muttering.

As I approached the throne, sanity flashed behind the King's eyes for a moment just long enough to read the look in mine.

He turned and ran, a single thrust was all it took to end the greatest dynasty the world had ever seen.

The last dragon king squealed like a pig and shat himself so easily. I thought a king should die harder than this.

I knew at once when I saw the way they looked at me I would be blamed.

I commanded them to announce that the Mad King was dead and to spare all those who yielded 

They asked me if they should proclaim a new king as well. I knew what they meant. Would it be my father or Robert Baratheon? or maybe the charred verse

Proclaim who you bloody well like

I climbed the steps of the Iron Throne and sat on it with my sword.

[eclipsecrowned]

pov modern c*rsei is trying to figure out where all her wax strips went as her brothers avoid eye contact.