#// hiding under this fragile facade
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I am human in the sense that, since my domain is Longing, I am able to feel and somewhat empathise with hunger, lust, love and the like.
I am divine in the sense that my own Longing transcends humanity. It is much more intense than what any mortal could possibly muster up. It is fatal, consuming, not for the faint hearted.
#//♡ — the prince of your dreams#// I would say I am an elderitch creature#// a celestial being of reckoning#// hiding under this fragile facade#yan blog#yanblr#yancore#yandere#yandere prince#yande.re#yandere blog#yandere post#yandere male#yandere boy#male yandere#yan boy#irl yandere#yandere tendencies#irl yan
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#bro theyre both so cute i want to take them under my wing#children.. acting so strong putting up a facade to hide their fragile egos........
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⋆·˚ ༘ *𝖔𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖊 𝖏𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖊
ᴛᴡ

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ they find out about your eating disorder
ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ chuuya , dazai , akutagawa
The red-haired had always admired your strength. Carrying yourself like a quiet fire that seemed impervious to the storms of life, unyielding under the weight of the underworld’s chaos. You were his protégé, the one he poured himself into, the one who embodied everything he once longed to be but couldn’t. His pride. His light. The proof that even in the darkest corners of the world, something radiant could exist. But even the brightest flames can flicker, and it was in the faint tremors of your hands, the tight smiles, and the hollow laugh that he began to notice cracks in the armor you wore so well.
When you were alone, the emptiness gnawed at you. It was a beast you couldn’t tame, one that whispered lies into your ear about control, about worth, about the ugly truths buried in your reflection. Those nights, after the world fell silent and your facade could finally shatter, you found yourself in the kitchen, hands trembling as you pulled open cabinets, rifling through anything you could find. Bread, chips, sweets, anything to fill the void, anything to quiet the roaring need that felt like a punishment and a salvation all at once. You ate until you couldn’t breathe, until your stomach screamed in protest, until shame curdled in your veins like poison. Then came the guilt—a black wave that crashed over you, suffocating, pulling you under. And so, you purged, desperate to rid yourself of the weight, of the regret, of the proof of your failure. It was a ritual of suffering, one you endured in silence, hiding it from the world because no one could ever understand.
Therefore, food had always been the battlefield. Chuuya had no words for how your face tightened whenever a meal was placed in front of you, how your laugh sounded strained when he joked about how little you ate. At first, he thought it was preference, something trivial. But then came the patterns. The way you’d push food around your plate, the careful excuses that masked avoidance, the too-frequent trips to the bathroom after meals. He dismissed it, once, twice, too many times, unwilling to shatter the image he had of you—unbreakable, invincible, beyond fragility.
Until one day, he couldn’t.
Upon a quiet night, after a grueling mission, the two of you were eating together. He had cooked, something rare, almost celebratory. He wanted to see you smile, to hear your laugh ring genuine, unguarded. But the moment was stolen by the slight twitch in your brow, the way you forced yourself through each bite like it was a penance. And then you were gone, chair scraping against the floor as you muttered some excuse about needing the bathroom.
The mafia executive wasn’t sure why he followed. Perhaps it was the gnawing pit in his stomach, the accumulation of every unease he’d ever felt about you but hadn’t wanted to name. Or perhaps it was the way you hadn’t looked at him when you stood, the way your eyes seemed fixed on something far, far away. Whatever it was, it pulled him from his seat, silent, careful, until he stood outside the bathroom door.
A choked sob, raw and jagged, as if your chest was being ripped apart—the sound hit him. Then came the gagging, the frantic, broken attempts to purge what little you’d eaten. His heart clenched at the sound, a violent, suffocating force that left him frozen for a moment too long. When the retching stopped, there was silence, and then another sound—one that would haunt him far longer than any gunfire or scream. You were crying, but it wasn’t the kind of crying he could soothe. It was feral, unrestrained, the sound of someone drowning in their own skin.
He pushed the door open, and the sight gutted him.
You were on the floor, knees pressed to your chest, fists clenched so tightly your knuckles were white. Tears streaked your face, mixing with the remnants of your futile attempts to purge. Your shoulders shook violently, your breaths ragged and shallow, as if the weight of existence itself was pressing down on you. too lost in whatever storm was tearing you apart from the inside, you didn’t even notice him at first.
As he called your name, his voice broke, soft but weighted, you flinched as though struck. Your head snapped up, eyes wide and wild, filled with a mixture of shame, fear, and something he couldn’t name.
“Don’t—don’t look at me,” you choked out, your voice shattered, hands scrambling to shield yourself from his gaze as though his presence alone was enough to destroy you.
But he didn’t look away. He couldn’t. How could he, when the person he cherished most in the world was falling apart in front of him? When the strength he admired so fiercely had been a mask for a torment so profound it left you hollow? His hands curled into fists at his sides, trembling—not with anger, but with helplessness. Chuuya Nakahara, the Port Mafia’s finest, a man who had survived horrors most couldn’t fathom, didn’t know how to fix this.
And yet, he moved. Slow, deliberate, he crossed the space between you and knelt down, ignoring the mess, ignoring everything but you. He didn’t speak. What words could possibly touch the depth of what he felt? What comfort could ease the anguish that had been festering in your soul long before he’d ever noticed? Instead, he reached out, his gloved hand trembling as it brushed against yours.
Although you tried to pull away, he held on, firm but gentle, grounding. Your protests were weak, broken, crumbling under the weight of his quiet persistence. Eventually, you stopped fighting, your hand going limp in his as the sobs wracked your body anew. He pulled you into his arms then, holding you like you might shatter, like the world itself would crumble if he let go.
Heavy and suffocating a silence followed. Though in it, there was an unspoken promise. A vow etched not in words but in the way he held you, in the way his gloved fingers gently stroked your hair, in the way his own shoulders shook with the weight of what he’d just realized. You weren’t invincible. You weren’t unbreakable. But you didn’t have to be. Not with him.
Truthfully, chuuya didn’t know what came next. He didn’t know how to help you, how to fix the cracks in your foundation. But he did know one thing: he would never let you face this alone again. You were his pride, his light, the fire he’d chased his entire life. And no matter how fragile that flame might be, he would protect it with everything he had—even from yourself.
,
Dazai had always known how fragile you were, even when you didn’t realize it yourself. It wasn’t just your body, though the sharp lines of your frame had always seemed on the verge of disappearing, as if you weren’t fully of this world. No, it was something deeper—a fragility that resided in the quiet spaces between your laughter, in the way your eyes lingered on the edges of mirrors as though you feared what might look back at you. He had been drawn to it, at first. That strange contradiction of strength and delicacy, the way you carried yourself like a wisp of smoke in a room full of storms.
But even smoke can suffocate.
It began so subtly that Dazai almost missed it. The way you picked at your food with a practiced indifference, your careful avoidance of meals disguised as nonchalance. He watched you fold excuses into your routines like origami, delicate and precise—“I already ate,” “I’m not hungry,” “I’ll grab something later.” Lies so thin they barely held their shape, but he let them pass because he thought he understood you. You were his quiet escape from the chaos, a tether to the normality he so desperately sought. But now, as the days turned into weeks, and your sharp edges grew sharper still, he realized your fragility wasn’t simply a part of you—it was consuming you.
The obsession, your obsession, was was unsettled him the most. The way you clung to control, as if it were the only thing keeping you alive. He saw it in the numbers you counted in your head, the mental calculations that flickered behind your eyes whenever food was near. You moved constantly, restless and relentless, as though standing still would unravel you. And yet, despite your need to escape the shape of your own body, he saw how you lingered in front of mirrors, tracing the lines of your collarbones and ribs with trembling fingers. You hated what you saw, yet in that hatred, you found power. A twisted kind of triumph.
Dazai, for all his sharpness, didn’t know how to confront it. How could he, when you had built your cage so carefully, so intricately, that he feared any wrong move might trap you further? He watched in silence, a ghost hovering at the edges of your pain, his own heart growing heavier with every meal you skipped, every lie you told, every step that carried you further away from him. Naturally, you didn’t know, couldn’t know, how much he had come to love you—not in fragments, not as something fleeting, but entirely. Utterly. You thought you were a passing indulgence, something temporary to fill the void in his life, but you were so much more than that.
Fighting demons, he waited until the night he couldn’t stay silent anymore.
You’d spent the day evading food with a grace that was almost artful, your avoidance so practiced it might have been rehearsed. By the time evening came, you were a shadow of yourself, moving through the room like a ghost. Dazai sat at the edge of your shared space, watching as you ran your hands over your arms, up and down, like you were trying to prove to yourself that you were still there. Your fingers brushed against the sharp jut of your bones, and for the briefest moment, your expression flickered—triumph, control, and then disgust, so fleeting he might have missed it if he hadn’t been looking.
“You’re hurting yourself,” he said, his voice soft but resolute.
Hands lingering in the air before it dropped to your side, you froze “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you murmured, the lie falling from your lips like ash.
He stood then, crossing the room in slow, measured steps. There was no anger in him, only a sorrow so deep it felt like drowning. “You do,” he said simply. “You’ve known all along. You’ve been counting every bite, every step, every ounce of control, but you can’t see what it’s doing to you.”
While your chest tightened your eyes darted away from his, searching for an escape. “I’m fine,” you whispered, but the words rang hollow, as brittle as your frame.
“No, you’re not.” His hand reached out, but he stopped just short of touching you, as though afraid you might break beneath the weight of his concern. “You think this is control, don’t you? That if you can keep shrinking, you’ll finally be enough. But you’re already disappearing. You’re fading, and I…” Being the first sign of the turmoil raging beneath his calm facade, his voice cracked, “I can’t lose you to this.”
Tears welled in your eyes, unbidden and unstoppable, spilling over as the dam finally broke. “I don’t know how to stop,” you confessed, your voice trembling with the weight of your admission. “I don’t know how to be enough for you, for anyone, for myself.”
Closing the distance between you then, his arms reached around your trembling frame. You felt impossibly small against him, as though you might dissolve entirely if he held you too tightly. “You’ve always been enough,” he murmured into your hair, his voice low, raw. “I didn’t fall in love with you because of how you look, or because of the shape of your body. I love you because you make me want to live. Don’t you see? You’re the only thing that’s ever made me feel alive, and I can’t lose that—not to this, not to anything.”
Then you collapsed against him, your sobs muffled against his chest as his words sank into the hollow spaces inside you. For the first time, the control you clung to felt less like power and more like a chain, one you weren’t sure you could break alone. But in Dazai’s arms, in the steadiness of his voice, there was a flicker of something you hadn’t felt in a long time.
Hope.
And for a moment, in the fragile quiet of that night, you allowed yourself to believe it.
,
When you came back from the hospital, Akutagawa thought you were better. Not whole—he knew better than to believe anyone could walk out of that kind of war unscathed—but better. You were quieter, more restrained than before, but he chalked it up to the aftershocks of what you’d endured. He wasn’t one for excessive concern or sentimentality, so he gave you space, trusting that your resilience would guide you forward.
Working alongside him, just as you always had, you carried out the ruthless tasks of the Mafia with precision and poise. But there was something in your movements that had changed—something more deliberate, almost rigid, as though you were holding yourself together through sheer will alone. At first, he dismissed it as adjustment. You’d been through a storm, after all, and even the strongest took time to rebuild.
What he didn’t see was how the storm had followed you.
In the dead hours of the night, when you were alone in your quarters, the thoughts crept back in—quiet at first, like whispers. You’re too much. You’ll fall apart if you let go. Control is the only way. They slithered into your mind, wrapping themselves around the fragile progress you’d made, and you welcomed them like old friends. You told yourself you’d stop before it went too far, that it was just temporary, just a way to feel steady again. But control was a ravenous thing, never satisfied with half-measures.
Like an old, repeating pattern, you began skipping meals—not all at once, but enough to convince yourself it wasn’t dangerous. A missed breakfast here, a lighter dinner there. You avoided eating in front of Akutagawa whenever possible, claiming you weren’t hungry or were too busy. When you couldn’t avoid it, you picked at your food, calculating every bite, every calorie, with a precision that bordered on obsession.
Of course, you thought you were hiding it well. Learning to wear looser clothing to disguise the weight you were losing, staying late in the training rooms, pushing your body until exhaustion numbed the gnawing hunger, you told yourself this was strength, that the growing sharpness of your cheekbones and the hollows beneath your collarbone were proof of your control. But the truth was, you were spiraling, and you were too afraid to stop.
Akutagawa, on the other hand, didn’t notice at first. He was consumed with his own duties, his own battles, and you were careful to keep your mask intact around him. But as the weeks passed, he began to see the cracks. The way your energy faltered during missions, the unsteady tremor in your hands when you thought no one was watching. He noticed how your voice grew quieter, how your laughter—rare as it was—disappeared altogether. And then there was the weight.
Now you looked fragile, as though a strong wind might shatter you. He told himself it was stress, that you were still recovering, that if it were serious, you would tell him. You had promised him once, after all, that you wouldn’t keep him in the dark again.
But you didn’t tell him.
One evening, after a particularly grueling mission, he caught you lingering in the shadows of the Mafia’s base. You were leaning against the wall, your arms crossed tightly over your chest as though trying to hold yourself together. He approached silently, his sharp eyes narrowing as he took in the gauntness of your face, the dark circles beneath your eyes.
“You haven’t been eating,” he said bluntly, his voice low and steady.
Stiffening, you didn’t turn to face him. “I’m fine,” you replied, your tone carefully controlled.
“No, you’re not.”
Heavy and unrelenting, his words hung in the air. Slowly, you turned to meet his gaze, and for a moment, he saw the truth in your eyes—the fear, the shame, the desperation you’d been trying so hard to hide. But just as quickly, you looked away, your mask snapping back into place.
“I said I’m fine,” you repeated, your voice sharper this time. “I don’t need you to worry about me.”
He stepped closer, his presence as unyielding as his gaze. “This isn’t about need,” he said. “It’s about what I see. And what I see is you killing yourself.”
As your hands clenched at your sides, your nails were digging into your palms. “You don’t understand,” you said, your voice breaking despite your efforts to keep it steady.
“Then make me understand.”
For a moment, the room was filled with silence, heavy and suffocating. And then, like a dam breaking, the words spilled out of you.
“I thought I could handle it,” you admitted, your voice trembling. “I thought I was past it, that I could stop whenever I wanted. But it’s always there, Akutagawa. The need to control, the fear of letting go. It’s… it’s like drowning, but I’m the one holding myself underwater.”
His jaw tightened, and for a moment, he didn’t speak. Then, slowly, he reached out, his gloved hand resting gently on your shoulder. “You’re not alone in this,” he said quietly. “You never have to be.”
You shook your head, tears welling in your eyes. “But what if I can’t stop? What if it’s too late?”
“It’s not too late,” he said firmly. “And even if it takes everything I have, I’ll make sure you remember that.”
There was no grand gesture, no dramatic declaration. Just the quiet promise of someone who refused to let you fall. And for the first time in weeks, the walls you had built around yourself began to crack.
a/n: i‘d like to leave a few words actually, i got this request around midnight but i wrote it on sitting and got pretty emotional (yikes) i never wrote something like this so it might come off as stiff. i had anorexia myself, and am now still dealing with bulimia. help. i spent all my teenage years counting calories. i still do , sometimes. this disorder leaves you with nothing but despair. i don’t mean to romanticise it so i tried making it realistic — though it probably sucks. well whatever. if anyone is struggling with this, please get help—even if it’s just online, reaching out won’t make it disappear but easier. love you all so much!
#bungou stray dogs#bsd imagines#chuuya imagines#chuuya x you#dazai x you#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#bungou stray dogs chuuya#chuuya nakahara#chuuya x reader#chuuya angst#chuuya fanfic#dazai angst#dazai imagines#dazai fanfic#dazai x reader#bungou stray dogs dazai#dazai osamu#akutagawa x you#bsd akutagawa#akutagawa x reader#akutagawa ryuunosuke#bungo stray dogs akutagawa#bsd x reader#bsd fanfic#bsd#bungou stray dogs x you#bungou stray dogs x reader#bungo stray dogs x reader#bsd angst
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aventurine, sunday, and any others when reader pretends to not remember them after a bad injury hehe…[angst with fluff at the end] i love giving my poor babies heart attacks mwahaha
anyways love u and ur writings btw k byeee drink water ok byeee 💕✨
“I'm sorry, but who are you?”
Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Sunday x Reader, Ratio x Reader, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Soft Fluff, Light Humor Angst to Fluff, Established Relationship, Memory Loss, Reassurance.
Warnings: Emotional distress (brief moments of fear and confusion).
A/N: thanks for the reminder, anon! 😪😮💨I really need to drink some water

Aventurine's eyes widened, his usual playful smirk faltering as you looked at him, confusion clouding your gaze. He reached out, as though instinctively wanting to close the distance between you, but he hesitated. Your words cut through the air, soft and fragile.
"You… you are… who exactly?"
The words stung more than he expected. His heart raced in his chest as he observed the faint, distant look in your eyes. He had always been in control of the game, masterful in reading people, but this? This was a blow to his carefully constructed facade.
"You don’t remember me?" His voice was softer now, the bravado slipping as his pulse quickened.
You shook your head, an empty feeling creeping into your chest. "I don’t think so. Sorry… am I supposed to?"
Aventurine's smile faltered, and for a moment, you saw something raw beneath his cool exterior. Pain. Fear. He stepped back slightly, trying to hide the cracks forming in his walls.
"I suppose I’ve miscalculated…" he muttered to himself, voice barely audible.
But then, you reached out and touched his arm gently.
"I—"
Aventurine looked at you, his breath catching in his throat as you softly smiled. "I do remember you, though. Maybe I was just… testing you?"
The game was on again, but this time, it was different. He chuckled, a soft, relieved sound that made the weight of his worries lift just a little.
"You're dangerous, you know that?" he said, his voice returning to its usual lighthearted tone, though there was an underlying tenderness now.
You smiled. "I think I’ll keep you on your toes."
And with that, the shadows of doubt lifted, replaced by the warmth of your presence—one he could no longer imagine being without.

Sunday stood there, his eyes darkened with a mix of concern and confusion, staring at you as if you were a stranger. His fingers twitched slightly, an impulse to reach out, to make sure you were real, that you hadn’t slipped into some other world.
"You… you don’t recognize me?" he asked, his voice almost a whisper, fragile under the weight of his own disbelief.
You blinked at him, the blank look in your eyes unnerving him more than he cared to admit. "I’m sorry… I don’t think I do. Are we… close?"
The air between you seemed to freeze, thick with unspoken emotions. His mind was racing—how could you forget him, forget everything you had shared? The kindness, the warmth, the bond he’d built so carefully with you...
"I see," Sunday murmured, his gaze softening with a hint of sadness. "I suppose it’s a part of the dream, isn't it? To forget… to lose everything."
You could see the strain in his expression, the hope fading from his eyes. "Sunday, I… I didn’t mean to forget you."
You reached for him, your hand trembling as you touched his sleeve. The contact seemed to pull him out of his thoughts, and his breath caught.
A moment of stillness.
Then Sunday smiled faintly, the sadness still lingering. "I suppose we’ll just have to make you remember, won't we?" His voice was gentle, though you could hear the underlying fear in it.
You smiled, this time with a reassurance he needed. "I think I already do."
A sigh escaped him, a soft, grateful breath as he pulled you into his arms.
"Don't ever scare me like that again." he murmured into your hair, holding you close.

Ratio’s usual air of unshakable confidence was nowhere to be seen. He stood before you, his eyes wide with confusion and an almost frantic edge to his movements.
"You—don’t remember me?" he repeated, his voice betraying a crack he hadn’t expected.
You stared at him, trying to piece together the fragments of the world around you, the details of his appearance leaving you more unsettled than anything. "I… I’m sorry, I don’t think I know you."
His frown deepened, his expression unreadable but filled with something you couldn't quite place—was it hurt? Disbelief?
"I see. This is… unfortunate," he said, voice smooth yet tinged with something that didn’t fit. He folded his arms over his chest, eyes narrowing slightly. "I expected better from your memory."
You looked at him more closely, sensing a vulnerability underneath the sharpness of his demeanor. He was, despite his intellectual brilliance, losing himself in this.
You took a step closer, closing the distance between you, your hand reaching for his, gently catching his wrist. "I’m sorry… but I’m sure we’ve met before. I just—"
He paused, his sharp breath catching in his throat as he looked down at your hand on his. For a brief moment, his composure cracked, and you could see the raw emotion behind his usually controlled facade.
"Don't do this to me," he whispered, his voice barely audible, as if the weight of the situation was too much to bear. "You must remember."
You smiled softly, understanding now. "I remember. You’re the one who always insists on teaching me things."
His gaze softened instantly, a relieved exhale leaving him. "Good."
Ratio’s usual brilliance returned, but this time, there was something gentler about him. "Perhaps next time, try not to lose your memory so easily."
And though his words were sharp, his hand reached out to take yours, a reassurance that you were not lost to him.

Me lmaoo
#honkai star rail#hsr#x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#hsr aventurine#aventurine x reader#aventurine x you#hsr aventurine x reader#sunday hsr#sunday x reader#sunday sunday sunday#hsr sunday#ratio honkai star rail#hsr dr ratio#hsr ratio#ratio x reader#dr ratio#hurt/comfort#fluff and angst#angst with a happy ending#emotional hurt/comfort#light humor#established relationship#memory loss#reassurance#emotional distress
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finnick odair steps through the door after a long day of fishing, and he’s welcomed by the sight of you curled up on the loveseat, reading calmly as you were clearly waiting for him to return.
you look up the moment he enters, your eyes lighting up. “finn,” you call out excitedly, abandoning your book on the old coffee table to go straight to his arms.
as soon as you reach your lover, he engulfs you in his arms and squeezes you tightly without hesitation. his warm, sweaty body relaxes under your touch with a quiet sigh, and his chin comes to rest comfortably on top of your head.
“i missed you, sweetheart,” he murmurs, his voice slightly muffled as he turns to press a tender kiss to your hair. “wish you’d come with me to the port. everything feels brighter when you’re near.”
you suppress a small groan. you have never enjoyed spending hours under the scorching sun, just waiting for some fish to finally take finnick’s bait. still, a flutter of excitement always stirs in your chest at the thought of spending an entire day with him. just picturing the gentle way he patiently would explain to you how to use the bait, the playful teasing, and the almost childlike competition you'd inevitably have over who catches the bigger fish, is enough to make you look forward to it.
life is short and fragile, especially alongside finnick. you never know when some tribute might push too far, giving president snow the perfect excuse to retaliate against all the victors, including your finnick. the two of you share an unspoken understanding. that snow was probably just waiting for the right moment to get rid of him without sparking a riot in his name. if anything ever happened to him, what you'd remember about that day would be the way finnick smiled enormously with pride after catching a big fish, not the mosquito bites or the sunburnt skin.
“i’ll join you next time, i promise,” you say softly, with no traces of dishonesty. you can’t help but cup his cheeks, gently admiring his adorable, sun-kissed face. his cheeks squishing in your hands are pink from hours spent outside. he probably skipped sunscreen again. later, he'll no doubt ask you to soothe his skin with ointment. his nose, just as pink as his cheeks, looks like it's silently asking to be kissed by you. his freckles adorning his face make you want to forget everything else and spend the rest of your days pressing soft kisses on every single one of them.
but it is his eyes that draw you in more than anything else. he has trained himself to maintain a facade, hiding any true feelings, because even the slightest flicker of disgust in the capitol could land him in serious trouble. but here, at home, not just in district four, but in your arms, is where he feels safe enough to let his emotions show openly. so when you look straight into his eyes, you see the pure adoration and deep devotion he holds for you. the way his eyes crinkle at the corners and his pupils dilate makes you feel giddy, leaving you to wonder if you look just as enamored as he does right now.
finally, you press a soft kiss to finnick’s lips for the first time since he walked through the door, and he melts in your hands. you don’t care about the strong smell of the fish he brought home, nor are you bothered by the sweatiness of his body. all you notice is the way his entire body relaxes, how his hands travel to your hips and pull you impossibly closer. his lips taste like comfort, like the peace you find in the ever-moving sea waves. his hand travels up and caresses your back soothingly, and it feels better than any sweet treat the capitol could ever offer. and his breath on your face leaves you dizzy in the best way.
when he finally pulls away, he lets out a quiet chuckle at the lovesick look on your face, teasing you playfully even though his own expression mirrors yours. “i love you,” he murmurs, his voice low. he then picks up the cooler he brought in and heads toward the kitchen, but not before you say it back.
in the kitchen, you take charge of seasoning the fish while finnick gets the grill going. the conversation is endless, drifting from his complaints about being the tastiest meal for mosquitoes at the port to lighthearted bickering over what'd you name your imaginary family restaurant. that's when mags shows up for dinner like she always does, and finnick immediately ropes her into settling the debate. with a giggly smile, she disapproves of both names before pointing to the grill, where the fish are starting to burn. as the three of you sit down to devour the ones that didn't get burnt, you hum in satisfaction, savoring the precious moment as you quietly bury the unease growing in your chest about the approaching third quarter quell announcement.
#i hope you like it!!#it´s kind of hard for me to write without my laptop but i missed finnick so much#finnick odair#finnick odair fic#finnick odair x reader#thg#the hunger games#the hunger games fanfic#maybe i should start giving titles to all my writings#my masterlist would be better that way
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Hi, can I request Rook with a reader who seems stoic at first, but is secretly really emotional? They usually keep up a neutral facade, but privately they get super hyper from things they like and cry really easily from just finding things beautiful or tragic. Thank you so much!

Rook with a Stoic but Deeply Emotional S/O

From the moment you stepped foot into NRC, Rook had been watching.
You carried yourself with a quiet confidence. Calm, composed, polite. You rarely raised your voice, your expressions were mild, and your reactions were always measured. You had the presence of someone who had learned to control themselves in every situation, someone who had long ago decided that emotions were best left hidden where they couldn’t be used against you.
But Rook saw more.
He saw the way your eyes flicked quickly across landscapes during art class,catching the smallest details in a painting of a forest, lingering just a heartbeat longer on autumn leaves or golden sunlight. He noticed the little pause in your breath when music swelled during a performance, the way you’d tuck your hands in your pockets when you were trying to hold back from reacting to something that clearly struck you.
He noticed the things you didn’t say, just as much as the ones you did.
And yet, he never pushed.
Rook had always admired subtlety. After all, what was a more thrilling hunt than peeling back the layers of a soul wrapped in mystery?
But then… one night changed everything.
It was late. The campus was quiet. You’d thought you were alone in the botanical garden, your face turned up toward the stars. The moonlight bathed your face in silver, and your eyes shimmered not from the reflection, but from the tears clinging to your lashes.
You were crying. Softly. Silently.
In your lap lay a book, its ending tucked beneath your hand. Rook knew the story,tragic, poetic, and bittersweet. A tale that ended with a goodbye too painful to speak aloud.
He should’ve left. Given you your privacy.
But you turned slightly, sensing someone nearby, and your eyes met his.
For a heartbeat, you froze. The usual mask you wore,the quiet, composed expression,shattered under the weight of being seen.
Your lips parted as if to explain, to excuse it, but Rook simply placed a hand over his heart and stepped forward.
“Ah…” he whispered, voice so gentle it almost didn’t feel real. “I always suspected the truth… but this is breathtaking.”
You blinked, stunned. “What… truth?”
“That beneath your perfect stillness,” he said, crouching in front of you, “there lives a soul that feels,beautifully, deeply, immensely. And oh, how magnifique it is to witness it with my own eyes.”
Your throat tightened. You quickly tried to wipe your face, embarrassed, trying to retreat into that old neutral mask.
But Rook reached up, ever so softly brushing your cheek with his gloved hand. Not wiping away the tears,but cherishing them.
“You don’t have to hide it,” he said, voice barely above a breath. “Not from me.”
You stared at him for a long moment. His eyes weren’t teasing. He didn’t look at you like you were fragile or broken or dramatic. He looked at you like you were a wonder.
And for the first time, you let the emotion wash over you in front of someone else.
You talked.
You told him about how you’d always loved tragic stories, not because they made you sad, but because they made you feel. How you’d learned to keep yourself composed because people never knew how to deal with someone so… sensitive. How you cried when you saw people reunited, when the sky was too beautiful, when the right song played at the right moment.
How it was easier to pretend to be stoic, quiet, and controlled,because it protected you from the world.
Rook listened to every word like it was poetry. Like your voice was a melody he’d been waiting to hear his entire life.
And then he said, with such genuine reverence, “You are not a contradiction. You are a masterpiece of balance,of quiet grace and unspoken wonder. And I shall count every tear you shed as a privilege to witness.”
Since that night, nothing changed… and yet everything did.
In public, you were still calm, poised. But Rook always knew when something delighted you,when your eyes sparkled at a performance, when your hand twitched toward a beautiful flower, when you had to bite your lip to keep from crying at the ending of a play.
He never outed you. Never made you uncomfortable.
But in private?
He indulged you.
Brought you music that would move you. Shared stories that he knew would leave you crying or smiling for hours. Sat beside you as you clutched your pillow and rambled about your favorite things, voice breaking from joy.
And every time he saw the tears, the laughter, the quiet awe,you’d see it reflected back in his smile.
Not mockery. Not confusion.
Adoration.
English is not my first language !

#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderlands headcanon#twst headcanons#twisted wonderland x reader#Rook Hunt#rook hunt x you#rook hunt x reader
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Earn It
Title: Earn It Pairing: Loki x Female Reader
Summary: Loki returns to Asgard after a long absence to find you’ve disobeyed the only rule he left you with: don’t touch yourself in his absence. Now, he intends to teach you the true meaning of patience, submission, and punishment.
Word Count: 3.6K
Warnings: / Explicit Content /18+, Minors DNI, Dom!Loki/Sub!Reader dynamic, Orgasm denial, Magical control/ enchantments, Power imbalance, Light bondage (hands behind back), Teasing, edging, and overstimulation, Possessive behaviour, SMUT
A/N: my entry for @avengers-assemble-bingo for April Kinky Bingo Square: B1- Orgasm Denial Card Number: KB003
You knew you’d broken the rule the moment your fingers slid beneath the sheets, betraying every promise you'd made.
But he had been gone too long. Too many endless days without his voice, without his touch, without the heavy weight of his presence pressing down on your senses. No illusions to torment you. No whispered commands brushed against your ear to make you shudder. Only a gnawing, empty silence- and the relentless ache that bloomed between your thighs like a curse left to fester in the dark.
You tried to stay strong. You counted the days, then the hours, curled up in the velvet sheets of your shared bed, whispering his name like a prayer, like an invocation. You buried your hands into the pillows, biting down hard to smother the moans that spilled from your lips every time your body remembered the feeling of him inside you, above you, all around you. You swore to obey. You swore to be good. You swore, and swore, and swore, until your own desperate need drowned out your promises.
But need was a traitor. A sly, insistent thing that curled into your bones, whispering that you were alone, that you deserved this small stolen pleasure. Your body ached for him, and no amount of pride could withstand the betrayal of your own hunger.
You told yourself he wouldn’t find out. That the magic wouldn’t cling to your skin like a guilty scent, staining you with evidence you couldn't scrub away. That maybe, just maybe, Loki- Trickster God, Prince of Lies, the one who could see through every facade- might show mercy. Might look at you and choose, for once, to forgive.
It was a fragile hope. Foolish. Dangerous. It bloomed inside you like a delicate flower, doomed the moment it dared to grow in such inhospitable soil.
And it shattered the instant the door creaked open, the moment heavy boots stepped across the threshold. Your heart seized in your chest as you looked up, and his eyes- sharp, knowing, merciless- locked onto yours, pinning you in place.
The force of his gaze alone cracked your thin defenses. Every carefully woven lie unraveled under that first unspoken command. You should have known better. Should have remembered exactly who he was, exactly what he could do. There was no hiding from him. No hope of deception. No lie so carefully crafted it could escape his gaze. Not when it was you he sought, and your shame he could smell like blood in the water.
He returned on a storm-choked evening, boots echoing through the golden stone corridors like a harbinger of judgment. Thunder boomed in the distance, shaking the very foundation of the palace; rain lashed the windows of the high towers like claws seeking entry. He smelled of rain and ruin when he stepped into your chambers, his black and emerald leathers clinging to his body, water dripping from his coat in dark puddles across the marble floor. His presence filled the space like a gathering stormcloud, heavy and electric, suffocating in its intensity. He didn’t seem to care, didn’t pause to shake off the rain or acknowledge the havoc of the elements raging outside. He was the storm. He had brought it with him.
That smile curled his lips. Half warmth, half warning. A smile that promised nothing kind. It didn’t reach his eyes, those merciless blue depths that pinned you in place, stripping you bare even before he touched you.
You were already on your knees by the hearth, the fire crackling behind you, casting flickering shadows that danced across your bare shoulders, illuminating the trembling curve of your spine. The stone beneath your knees was cold, biting into your skin, but you barely noticed. All your focus narrowed to the sound of his footsteps- slow, inevitable- each measured step tolling like a bell of judgment, sealing your fate with every heartbeat. The heat of the fire at your back contrasted sharply with the icy dread curling low in your belly, a wicked anticipation that had you trembling long before he reached you.
"Welcome home, my Prince," you whispered, voice trembling as you fought to steady yourself, keeping your eyes cast downward even as your pulse hammered against your ribs. His scent filled your lungs- amber, leather, and something electric, crackling with restrained power- tightening your throat with longing and guilt, coiling hot and unbearable in your chest. Every instinct screamed to lift your gaze, to plead, but you remained bowed, offering the only apology you could.
He hummed low in his chest, a sound that vibrated through the air and curled around your spine like smoke. It was comfort and warning woven together, threading through your bones, making your heart clench. For a breathless, foolish moment, you dared to hope that maybe, just maybe, he’d missed you enough to show mercy. That the coldness in his gaze might thaw. That he might draw you into his arms and forgive your weakness.
But hope was a dangerous thing. Especially with him. It was a blade disguised as a kiss, a soft thing that broke you more deeply when it inevitably shattered.
He crossed the room with slow, deliberate steps, each one echoing with authority, sealing your fate with every measured stride. The gold accents on his black and emerald leathers caught the firelight and flashed like distant lightning, brief glimmers of green sparking against the marble floor. His gloved hand brushed your cheek- deceptively tender- the leather cool against your heated skin, but beneath that gentle caress, you felt the tightly leashed violence, the power he held in careful check. Like a storm barely contained, ready to break.
"You’ve been good, haven’t you, pet?" he asked, voice smooth as silk and just as sharp, cutting straight through your thin veneer of composure.
You swallowed hard. Nodded. Lied. You forced your hands to remain still in your lap, though every instinct screamed to fidget, to hide. Your thighs pressed together despite yourself, a subconscious act of self-preservation that only made your guilt more obvious.
His chuckle came soft. Dangerous. A sound like velvet hiding a blade, sending a shiver down your spine. There was no humor in it, only dark promise.
"We shall see, won’t we?"
He said nothing more. With a flick of his wrist, your clothing vanished, stripped away by magic with a casual cruelty that left you naked and vulnerable in an instant. The cool air bit at your skin, raising goosebumps across your arms, your chest, your thighs. You barely caught your breath before he lifted his hand again, his fingers tracing a pattern in the air, murmuring something low and ancient, a tongue so old it seemed to vibrate against your very bones.
Runes blazed to life across your skin, startling you with their sudden heat. You hadn’t known he’d cast such a thing on you- a spell not just of concealment, not just silence, but something far worse. Truth. A cruel enchantment designed to expose your every weakness, to make visible the betrayal you had tried so desperately to hide. A punishment blooming in pale, damning light, searing its shame into your very flesh.
“Do you see this?” he whispered, tracing a glowing rune on your hip with cruel gentleness, his thumb dragging slowly over your trembling skin. “This is where you failed me. Again. And again. And again.”
Silvery-green sigils bloomed across your thighs, hips, and stomach, each one pulsing faintly like a heartbeat beneath your flesh. One. Two. Five. Nine. The number burned into you, an undeniable confession stitched in light and magic.
"Nine," he tutted, the sound dripping with exaggerated disappointment. His eyes drank in every mark, every flicker of shame that crossed your face.
“Nine times,” he murmured, circling you slowly, savoring the sight of your exposed humiliation. “Nine moments where you chose weakness. Nine moments where you put your own fleeting pleasure before my command. You have been busy, haven't you, little one?" His voice curled around you, thick with amusement and reprimand.
You tried to speak. Tried to explain yourself. “Loki, please,” you whispered, voice cracking under the weight of your guilt, “you were gone so long- I tried… I tried to be good…”
But his hand closed around your jaw, firm but unhurried, tilting your face upward to meet his gaze. His thumb stroked your lower lip with mocking affection, smearing your pleas into silence. He didn't even acknowledge your words, as if your struggles were as insubstantial as mist.
“No. No excuses,” he said, each word slow and deliberate. “I gave you one rule. One.” His voice tightened, the edge of iron sharpening the velvet. He tilted his head, studying your crumbling composure with something approaching cruel fondness. “Don’t pout, little pet. You knew the consequences before your first forbidden touch.”
His voice dropped lower, a dark velvet promise that shivered down your spine.
“I asked for patience,” he breathed, stepping closer, his shadow swallowing you whole. “And now… now I’ll teach you what that word truly means.”
He stepped back, lounging elegantly in the armchair near the tall windows overlooking the Bifrost, his long frame a study in deliberate, languid dominance. His legs crossed with slow, unhurried precision, one arm draped lazily over the carved armrest, the other toying idly with the hilt of the dagger strapped at his hip. His gaze raked over you, lingering, assessing, making you squirm under its weight. He looked every inch the prince- untouchable, unimpressed, and utterly in control- as he watched you like a ruler awaiting a performance from a trembling subject.
“On the bed,” he commanded, his voice like velvet wrapped around steel. ��Knees apart. Hands behind your back. Show me your obedience.”
You scrambled to obey, heart pounding wildly against your ribs. The silk sheets were cool against your feverish skin, the texture whispering over your thighs as you crawled into place. You trembled as you positioned yourself- thighs spread wide in a silent offering, hands tucked obediently behind your back, your spine arching just slightly in a posture of helpless submission. Breath already came shallow and fast, your chest rising and falling in frantic rhythm, every nerve ending alight with frantic anticipation and fear.
He lifted his fingers with a casual flick of the wrist, a king idly dispensing judgment, as if your fate was nothing more than a whim to be decided at his leisure.
And the first illusion began, creeping over your senses with devastating, merciless ease, like tendrils of mist wrapping tight around your awareness, pulling you under.
Unseen lips brushed between your thighs, slick and warm, teasing you with practiced cruelty, savoring the way your breath hitched, thighs twitching helplessly. Ghostly hands cupped your breasts, squeezing with just enough pressure to make your nipples throb, the teasing strokes of phantom thumbs brushing across the sensitive peaks until they ached. A third phantom mouth traced icy kisses down the delicate curve of your spine, the contrast of heat and chill making you shudder violently, overwhelmed by the assault on your senses.
The room disappeared around you, swallowed by the rising tide of sensation. The fire’s crackle faded to a distant whisper, the cold stone beneath you forgotten as your world narrowed to those merciless touches. You whimpered, unable to stop the broken sounds escaping your lips. The pleasure climbed too fast, clawing up your spine with frantic, reckless hunger.
You moaned, a desperate, pleading sound, your body betraying you with its eagerness.
And instantly, they vanished. Dissolving into mist, slipping away like smoke between your fingers, leaving you aching and empty, your body trembling from the sudden, brutal loss.
"Ah, ah, ah," Loki purred from his seat, voice dripping with cruel amusement, the sound slithering through the charged air between you. "Too eager. Again. We've only just begun, pet."
The illusions returned with a vengeance, more aggressive and insistent than before. Flickering, overlapping, overwhelming- tongues laved your clit with devastating pressure, phantom fingers thrust inside you with merciless rhythm, unseen hands stroking every trembling, vulnerable part of your body until you felt undone. Another ghostly touch gripped your hips, holding you open, keeping you spread and exposed to every cruel, delicious caress.
Your mind splintered under the onslaught, a haze of need and frustration clouding your thoughts. Every nerve ending sparked with unbearable sensation, your body climbing higher, faster, desperate and frantic.
Then- gone.
The illusions vanished as suddenly as they had come, ripped away like a cruel trick.
You were panting, broken noises escaping your lips, your body left bare and aching, the absence of touch almost more brutal than the pleasure itself. Every muscle trembled with the shock of denial, and you slumped forward slightly, fighting to hold your posture against the crushing need Loki so expertly stoked and stole away.
"You may not come until every stolen orgasm has been paid for," he said, his voice a velvet snarl, every word sinking into your skin like a brand.
He stood and approached you with slow, deliberate strides, dragging a single finger down the trembling length of your thigh. His touch was featherlight but devastating, igniting every nerve in its wake. He traced a new rune into your flesh with an almost reverent precision, and it glowed gold- different from the others. Pulsing with a cruel, eager light.
"This," he whispered, his breath warm against your ear, "glows when you’re close. When I touch it- " he pressed his thumb into the rune with devastating finality, and you gasped as the flood of sensation drained away- "it all begins again."
Your orgasm died in your belly like a snuffed flame, leaving a hollow ache in its place. A visceral, gut-wrenching emptiness that made your whole body twitch with frustrated, furious need.
"Every ounce of pleasure you denied me… every stolen moment… will be paid back in kind," he murmured, tracing lazy circles near the rune without activating it again, making your muscles clench with anticipation and despair.
You whimpered, a broken, needy sound escaping your lips, your body twitching with the sharp ache of unfulfilled release.
"That's one," he said calmly, his voice infuriatingly patient, as if he had all the time in the world to draw out your punishment. "You still owe me eight."
Loki sat on the bed beside you, settling in like a king on his throne. Close enough that you could feel the heat radiating from his body, close enough for you to catch the sharp, intoxicating scent of leather and power. Close enough that the domination of his presence wrapped around you like chains, binding you to him without a single touch.
The spells resumed, wrapping around you like chains of pure sensation. No visible magic- only relentless touch. Phantom lips circled your clit, teasing with devastating precision, making your hips twitch and buck involuntarily. Fingers pinched and rolled your nipples, pulling sharp, electric jolts of pleasure that left you gasping. Invisible hands restrained your wrists with unyielding strength, pinning you in place as if daring you to even think about escape.
You quivered violently, clenched your fists behind your back so tightly your nails dug crescents into your palms. You focused on the silk beneath your knees, on the steady crackle of the fire, on anything, anything that could anchor you against the rising tide of sensation threatening to tear you apart.
But when the rune glowed too bright- when the pleasure swelled beyond what your body could contain-
His thumb reset you.
A cruel press. A single touch. A devastating erasure.
Again.
And again.
Each reset ripped the climax from your body just as it began to crest, leaving you gasping, trembling, broken. Your thighs trembled so hard it felt as if they might give out entirely. Your chest heaved with ragged, gulping breaths. Tears welled in your eyes and spilled freely down your cheeks, blurring your vision, soaking into the sheets below.
By the sixth denial, you sagged forward, your body slick with sweat, twitching with exhaustion and need. Your mouth formed broken prayers and desperate whimpers, though no coherent words passed your lips- only sounds, raw and pleading.
The illusions finally faded into darkness, retreating like a cruel tide pulling away from the shore, leaving you wrecked in its wake.
And Loki’s real hands caught your face, steadying you.
Gentle. Unrelenting. Inescapable.
"You wanted release without permission," he rasped, voice low and rough, each word soaking into your skin like a dark promise. "Now you understand what it means to earn it."
He kissed you. Deep. Consuming. Tasting of storm, punishment, and endless possession, as if he could devour every last ounce of resistance you had left. His tongue parted your lips with ruthless tenderness, claiming you from the inside out.
You melted into him, hands twitching in restraint behind you, desperate to hold onto something- onto him- aching to anchor yourself against the overwhelming tide of sensation.
Then he pushed you back onto the bed with an almost careless strength, your body bouncing slightly against the silk sheets, every nerve on fire with anticipation and fear.
"No more illusions," he growled, his weight settling over you like an avalanche, pinning you to the mattress. His cock- hard, hot, merciless- pressed against your dripping cunt, sending fresh tremors through your wrecked and desperate body.
"No more teasing. No more mercy," he snarled, voice vibrating against your sensitive skin, each syllable a brand.
He lined himself up with slow, excruciating precision, letting you feel every heavy inch of him poised at your entrance, letting you quiver and gasp beneath him.
"You'll come once," he promised darkly, a savage glint in his eye. "And only once. For me."
Then he thrust in, burying himself in you to the hilt with a brutal snap of his hips, knocking the breath from your lungs. The stretch was sharp, overwhelming, making you claw at the silk sheets beneath you as your body struggled to take him, to yield to the force of him.
You screamed, the sound ripped from your throat without thought or restraint, a raw, primal sound of surrender that echoed off the walls. Your body exploded around him- heat, lightning, and a bliss so intense it bordered on agony- and he fucked you through it, ruthless and relentless, dragging every last drop of pleasure from your exhausted, overstimulated body until you shattered completely, sobbing his name.
"Say it," Loki growled against your ear, hips slamming into yours, his cock driving into the deepest parts of you, claiming you from the inside out. "Apologize."
"I'm sorry- " you gasped, the words choked and broken by the force of his thrusts.
"Say it properly," he snapped, one hand tangling harshly in your hair to yank your head back and expose your throat. His teeth scraped the sensitive skin there as he continued to drive into you with savage purpose. "Tell me what you did."
"I- I touched myself," you whimpered, the confession spilling from your lips in a rush. "I disobeyed- "
He growled low in approval, hips grinding deeper, harder, until the friction burned and pleasure clawed at your mind, unraveling what little coherence you had left.
You writhed under him, overwhelmed, ruined beyond recognition. Your body bowed to him instinctively, desperate and desperate for more. The rune on your thigh glowed like a sun, blazing with searing triumph, branding you from the inside out. Every desperate gasp from your lips seemed to make it burn hotter, until it felt less like a mark and more like a claim- a promise that you would never be anything but his.
But this time, he didn’t reset it.
He let you come. Truly. Completely. Fully. He let you fall apart in his grasp, no barriers, no restraint- nothing but raw sensation tearing through you with a force that left you sobbing and shaking against him. The pleasure ripped through your body like a tempest, shredding what little composure you had left.
The aftershocks hit you in endless, crashing waves. Your legs trembled uncontrollably, thighs twitching and spasming as your body struggled to cope with the intensity. Your back arched sharply against the silk sheets, muscles seizing and releasing, and all you could do was cling to the moment, to him, to anything as the overwhelming release hollowed you out from the inside. Each breath came ragged and broken, your hands useless and shaking behind you.
Only when you collapsed, utterly boneless and spent, did he move. Gathering you against his chest, pulling you into the cage of his arms with a possessive gentleness that made your heart clench. His hand smoothed over your spine, grounding you, holding you to the steady, undeniable thrum of his presence. He murmured soft words into your hair- praise and promise, command and comfort twined so tightly you couldn’t tell them apart anymore.
"You’ll do better next time, won’t you, pet?" he whispered, his voice a velvet trap you fell into willingly.
You nodded, or maybe you simply trembled against him. It didn’t matter. Your answer was written in every broken piece of you now. You already knew- deep in your bones, burned into the very core of your being- that you’d fail again. Because no matter how much you tried to resist, no matter how fiercely you swore to obey, you would always crave the way he broke you down and rebuilt you, piece by trembling piece, until you were nothing but his to command.
TAGS: @tinytroublemaker , @yesiamthatwierd, @trojanaurora
#loki x reader#loki x female reader#loki smut#loki laufeyson#loki fanfiction#loki fanfic#loki imagine#loki x reader smut#loki x you#loki x you smut#loki x yn#loki odinson#loki marvel#loki fluff and smut#loki fluff#marvel smut#Dom!Loki#Loki!Bondage#lokismut#loki x female reader smut#aakinky
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Just wondering how would yan xiao react when finding out his darling is immortal? Like they have an ability to hide it but accidentally let it slip and he catches wind(pun not intended lol) of it while stalking them?
warnings : yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, stalking. author's note : it was really fun to think about what would xiao be overthinking of reader! now his enemy isn't humanity, but immortality itself lol

it was a mistake. a single, fleeting moment of carelessness—an offhand remark, a misplaced reaction, a wound that should have festered but barely bled. you should have noticed the way his gaze lingered, sharp and unreadable, how his movements slowed as if processing something wrong, something impossible. but you were too distracted, too caught up in whatever mundane task you had been doing to see the shift in him.
now, in the dead of night, you feel it—the weight of a presence just beyond your reach, pressing against the edges of your awareness like a blade against skin. someone’s watching.
xiao had always watched you, a silent shadow lurking at the periphery of your life, his presence subtle yet inescapable. at first, it had been an act of protection. or at least, that’s what he told himself. you were fragile, human, at the mercy of a world that did not care for your existence. he was simply ensuring your safety, ensuring that no harm would come to you. but over time, that justification had unraveled, thread by thread, until all that remained was a raw, insatiable need—one he could neither name nor deny.
he knew your routines. knew how you hummed under your breath when you thought no one was listening, how you chewed your lip when you were lost in thought, how your fingers curled ever so slightly when you were on the verge of sleep. he knew everything.
or so he thought.
tonight, the revelation sinks into him like a sickness, twisting in his gut, burning behind his ribs. you are not human.
he replays it over and over in his mind, searching for the flaw in his memory, for proof that he had misheard, miscalculated. but no—there is no mistake, no illusion to blame. you had healed too quickly. you had spoken too casually of a time long before you should have been born. you had let the truth slip through the cracks of your carefully crafted facade, never once considering that someone was listening.
and now, xiao cannot stop thinking about it.
how long have you walked this earth? how many lifetimes have you seen? how many people have you let close, only to watch them wither and fade while you remained unchanged?
the thoughts are unbearable, a festering wound in the deepest part of him. xiao had always lived with the certainty that mortality would take you from him one day—that no matter how fiercely he fought against it, time itself would be the enemy he could never defeat. he had resigned himself to the agony of losing you, to the inevitability of your absence, to the knowledge that no matter how tightly he held onto you, you would slip through his fingers in the end.
but this—this is something else entirely.
you will not wither. you will not break. you will not be taken from him by the cruel passage of time. and yet, that does not bring him relief.
because now he wonders—if you have lived for so long, if you have endured ages upon ages without him, then what is he to you? a passing moment? a temporary distraction? a fleeting indulgence before you move on, just as you have moved on from countless others?
the thought sends a violent shudder through him. no. he will not be just another name lost in the eternity of your existence. he will not be reduced to a mere memory, forgotten as easily as a dream upon waking.
you do not know that he is here. you do not know that your secret is no longer yours alone to keep. you do not know how deeply he is unraveling, how close he is to reach out, to wrap himself around you, to ensure that you never leave, never stray, never forget him.
for the first time, xiao is not afraid of losing you to death. now, he fears losing you to eternity. and he will not allow it.
#xiao x reader#yandere xiao x reader#xiao x you#genshin impact x reader#yandere genshin impact x reader#yandere x reader#genshin impact#genshin x reader#yandere x you#yandere genshin#yandere genshin impact#yandere genshin x reader#yandere#genshin#˗ˏˋ꒰ writing ꒱#˗ˏˋ꒰ mail꒱#dude is overthinking about you getting bored of him while he never once interacted with you damn
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This Is Me Trying



'I just wanted you to know that this is me trying.'
Azzi Fudd x Reader
Based on this request (sorry it took forever lol)
Masterlist
Word Count: 1.1k
Themes: depression, mild alcohol abuse, hurt/comfort
A/N: hiii so here i am trying out writing for someone other than Paige, and I really hope you like it! If this is a decent success I may write for other people as well :) And of course it was time to write a fic to go along with my most favorite song of all time (folklore stans rise up)
Lets do thisss
also sorry this is lowkey kinda depressing i am a sad girly
~
Your lack of sleep was showing in deep purple bruises under your eyes that no amount of even the heaviest concealer could adequately cover. You haven't slept well in days, and today’s shift had not helped your exhaustion. The day was filled with incessant neediness, people cussing you out, and an endless amount of shit.
Literally and figuratively.
You walk into your apartment, just wanting nothing but to fall into Azzi’s warm and loving arms, but you’re met with the still darkness of an empty home. Your girlfriend was in Las Vegas playing against the Aces, and she would not be home until tomorrow afternoon.
She had promised to call you after the game, but you weren’t sure if you would even make it through your shower, much less wait up for her by the phone for another three hours.
Your eyes fill with tears, the feeling of overwhelming loneliness mixing with your exhaustion, and as you throw your stuff on the floor, dredging your body into your bathroom, letting the downpour of water drown out your own tears.
You had become quite accustomed to hiding your feelings behind bright smiles and fake laughs, desperate to clutch onto the need to prove to everyone that you were okay.
Even if you really weren't.
Your girlfriend had enough stress on her, and the idea of her needing to worry about you, too, was enough to send guilt shooting through your entire body.
You had kept up your facade all throughout college, choosing to take long, solo car rides until you had to pull over, the tears swimming in your eyes nearly blinding you. And when you were strung along to the bars with Azzi and the rest of her teammates, you drowned your sorrows and fears with liquor, numbing your thoughts and your body until you were delirious.
You were the golden girl.
You knew what jokes to crack for which group of people you were around at the time. Your grades were stellar. And you had bagged the prettiest, sweetest girl in probably the entire universe.
So, you resented yourself for feeling anything other than being on top of the world, because it was actually quite the opposite.
It got worse once you graduated.
Azzi was often gone, traveling for away games, and that left you alone to process the unimaginable emotions that came with your budding nursing career. Feelings of loss and incompetence clouded your brain constantly.
Today was no different.
You had lost a patient, a kind, gentle woman who finally let go, taking her last breath while gripping your hand, completely alone.
It broke you, and the devastating reality had sunk into your chest, crushing all of the air out of your fragile lungs. And you were now gasping for air, leaving you feeling bereft and vulnerable, like an open wound.
Maybe that’s all you’d ever really be, and you could not help but think that you were the festering wound in yours and Azzi’s relationship, threatening to slowly tear it apart until the two of you were left standing in the tattered shreds of what used to be.
You wanted things to be okay so, so badly, but the overwhelming feelings of loneliness and longing had set in, chilling you down to the bone. And you were scared.
So you would just continue on pretending.
Azzi comes home the next day, and you put the mask back on the second she walks through the door. You’d be lying, though, if her presence didn’t make you feel the tiniest bit whole again. You melt into her arms, drinking in her presence, as she rubs your back soothingly, her face pressed into the crook of your neck.
Maybe everything would be okay, if only you could be honest with her.
~
Azzi lays in bed next to you, and you indulge in the way her smell has permeated the soft bedsheets again, after days of the scent slowly becoming less and less potent. She smells warm and comforting, and you nuzzle into her, desperate for her to fix every little part of you that was screaming out in insecurity and despondancy.
A low sigh escapes your throat, secretly wanting your girlfriend to pick up on your mood, and because she knows you better than anyone else, she does.
“What’s wrong, baby?” She questions, her tone filled with concern and worry. She places a hand on your cheek, coaxing you to look into her eyes, and the glow of the lamp on the bedside table illuminates the kindness emitting from her deep brown irises.
“I–” You begin, taking a deep breath and then stopping. Trying to put all your emotions into coherent words was quite the task. And honestly, you were terrified of how Azzi would react.
Her thumb strokes your cheek, as she sits up fully next to you in the bed, eyes still peering into yours.
“It’s okay, it’s just me,” she murmurs gently, and something clicks inside of you.
It was Azzi. You could tell her anything, and it would never even come close to dimming any of the love she felt for you.
In that moment, all the anxiety you felt about coming clean seemed silly, like it had been built up in your head to great heights, and here it was now, crashing down all around you.
“I’ve been really depressed,” you mumble, your cheeks feeling warm from her touch and the prickling of shame. “For a long time, actually. And I really fucking miss you. I hate feeling like a needy girlfriend, but I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this.”
The confession pours out of you, and as the air stills between you, your heart races as you watch Azzi’s face contort into a look of hurt and confusion.
“Oh, baby,” she breathes, scooping you up and setting you into her lap, legs draped over hers as she interlaces your fingers with hers.
“I’ve been missing you, too. And I didn’t want you to feel like you had to sacrifice your career for mine,” she murmurs, pressing a kiss onto your temple.
Your shoulders sag in relief, and you connect your lips in a kiss. There were numerous unspoken words shared as your lips entwined in a sheer display of passion.
As you break apart, you gaze back into those dark brown eyes, pupils now blown wide. “Guess this means we’ll have a lot more time to be doing this,” you giggle, wagging your eyebrows at Azzi.
She shakes her head fondly. “Just want my sweet, happy girl back,” she whispers in your ear.
Little did she know, you already were.
~
I really hope everyone enjoyed this. I have been toying around with a lil Pazzi fic, so let me know if you'd be interested :)
xoxo katy
Taglist:
@fullladypanda-blog, @omg-imtumbling, @tenaciousglitternerd, @oldcrdigan, @paigebuxkets, @the-other-half , @patscorner , @dietcokesmom , @tndaqltoifwy
Want to be added to my taglist? Comment or send me a message!
#azzi fudd x reader#azzi x reader#azzi fudd x you#azzi fudd#uconn wbb#uconn women’s basketball#fluff#angst with a happy ending#this is me trying
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lacy - mv1
max verstappen x fem!driver!reader
summary yn can't keep hiding her true feelings towards max
wc 1,6 k (i was supposed to keep it short for this one but oh well)
warnings this one angsty as fuuuck, reader kinda sucks sorry
a/n first post of this series omg i'm so excited!!!!!! i haven't written in a while so this may not be the best of my works but this is still one of my favorites <33 also english is not my first language so...yeah
YN sighed as she pulled the balaclava off and immediately ran her hand through her sweaty hair, attempting to make it look decent. Once again she was finishing behind Max. The Dutch looked back at her as he got down from the top of his car and gave her a sweet smile, she tried her best to reciprocate that smile but it probably looked as fake as it felt.
She couldn't really pinpoint when her rotten mind had started to harbor these feelings towards the man she loved.
YN's first encounter with Max occurred when they were barely teenagers, amid the noisy circuits of karting competitions. There was something captivating in that lanky and slightly awkward teenager that drew YN to him like a magnet. As time went on, their bond deepened, among endless talks of shared dreams that seemed unreachable at the time.
The first time Max kissed YN, she felt in heaven, enveloped in a kind of excitement she had never known. It didn't take long before he asked her to be his girlfriend and she accepted thinking life couldn't get better than that.
The mutual decision to keep their relationship under wraps seemed obvious, a conscious choice made as they started their parallel journeys into Formula 1, that was not the kind of attention they were seeking.
She felt true happiness for Max's overwhelming success, she truly did, at least at the beginning.
But YN found herself caught in the shadow of his success, a place she hadn't anticipated occupying. Eventually every podium celebration and victory lap, served as a bitter reminder of the expectations she was failing to meet. She couldn't acknowledge these feelings so she masked this resentment beneath a facade of congratulatory smiles and kisses. The press was no help. They endlessly compared their careers and although YN had managed to get some satisfying results, she was nowhere near Max's level. They ate it up, it gave them good headlines to pit them against the other. They were the embodiment of a tantalizing narrative – two very young drivers with great success in the lower categories, shared dreams and a seemingly unbreakable "friendship", both coming into F1 with good teams and high expectations but only one of them was reaching those expectations. It was a good story, sure. But the story was tearing YN apart.
Perhaps the tipping point arrived with a very specific headline, its words forever etched into her brain: "Max Verstappen: Vettel reincarnate." With each syllable, YN's throat constricted, her stomach twisting into knots. Max seemed to effortlessly get everything she ever yearned for, now he was getting put at the same level as her biggest idol and inspiration which proved to be too much to handle for her. And with each of his accomplishments the poisonous seed of envy took root within her heart.
It was so contradictory, when she finally admitted it to herself. She loved Max more than she loved herself and maybe that was the root of the problem, her own insecurities and bruised ego. But it was becoming impossible to fake a smile every time she saw him on that top step. She knew it wasn't true but she almost felt like Max was out to get her.
She hated Max. And she hated herself for that fact. How could one harbor so much love and hatred for someone at the same time?
She was loosing her mind, her fragile facade crumbling under the weight of her emotions. Of course the ever attentive eyes of the press and the fans noticed the way her once adoring glances towards Max were now replaced with icy stares. How she couldn't even make the effort to raise the corners of her mouth whenever Max complimented her skills or her racing. His tenders words of admiration which once felt like a warm summer breeze began to feel like bullets grazing her already wounded skin, they felt like mockery. It was only a matter of time until Max started noticing this too.
Something was clearly happening, and that's why he found himself knocking on her apartment's door late at night, the echoes of the particularly hard weekend YN had endured still reverberating through his mind. The bitter taste of failure and disappointment still lingered on her lips. YN had struggled with the car and couldn't even make it out of Q2, and Sunday's race offered little reprieve, finishing in a P11 that tasted of unfulfilled expectations. While, of course, Max had made a brilliant pole position and had won the race, once again making everyone worship the ground he walked on. He hadn't seen YN since the race finished. She flew back to Mónaco that same night without even letting him know and without even asking if he wanted to fly back with her, which was the case almost every weekend. Max wasn't stupid, he could tell something was up with her lately, the distance she was putting between them, he was loosing her. And he loved her too much to let her go without a fight.
The door creaked open, YN's figure against the dim lighting within. Her jealous eyes clouded with heavy feelings. She stepped aside wordlessly, allowing Max to enter, her silence was louder that any word could ever be.
He carefully walked in, the all too familiar environment of his girlfriend's apartment suddenly feeling cold and foreign. Max was tense before taking a seat on the armrest of her couch. His heart felt heavy, he already wanted to cry. He had trouble getting the words out, something that had never happened in the years he had known YN. What had they become?
He swallowed dry before finally finding his voice. "I think we need to have a talk." His gaze was pleading for her to meet his eyes, but she kept staring at her shoes.
She froze at his words and her fingers tightened around the edge of the table she was leaning against. She could tell this conversation was coming, yet she dreaded the flood of emotions threatening to consume her, scared of the things she could say.
"What is it, Max?" Her voice was strained, an inner battle developing inside her, trying to control her emotions.
"You know what it is about, schat." Her jaw tightened at the pet name, now it somehow sounded condescending, even though deep down she knew that wasn't true. "YN something's been bothering you lately. I know it. Please talk to me."
YN's heart clenched painfully at his words, her resolve crumbling under the weight of her own inner turmoil. How could she even begin to articulate the burning envy and resentment that coursed through her veins every time she looked at him? How could she admit out loud to hating the man she loved more than life itself?
When she finally looked up and met his stare she felt the monstrous feeling that had been gnawing at her conscience completely engulf her and she wasn't in control of her own words anymore. Her eyes burning with a contradictory mix of longing and loathing. "Are you seriously asking me that, Max?" Her voice trembled with suppressed emotion.
Max recoiled at the intensity of her stare and her tone, a sinking feeling at the pit of his stomach by the anticipatory feeling of his world crumbling down completely. "YN, I..."
"You know damn well what's going on." YN's voice cracked with emotion, her words laced with a bitterness that made it unrecognizable to both of them. "You have everything, Max. The wins, the championships, the adoration of the whole fucking world. Everything I ever wanted, you took it for yourself." She knew she wasn't making sense, the words were spilling out of her mouth before she had the time to catch them.
Max's heart constricted with an unfair amount of guilt. "YN, I... I had no idea you felt this way."
"And why would you?" She retorted, her voice rising with each word. "You're too busy basking in your own glory to notice how much it's killing me to be constantly compared to you." That wasn't his fault, and she knew it. It was the pure and evil hatred that consumed her that was speaking those words.
He felt like he had been punched in the gut. "I'm sorry." He shouldn't have to apologize for what he accomplished after years and years of hard work, yet he did, the fear of loosing her bigger than the need to acknowledge his self worth.
The hurt mirroring in his eyes was obvious, her tone softened before she spoke again. "You don't have to apologize, Max. You deserve it, you deserve it so much. I know that and you should too." She took a sharp breath in. "But knowing that doesn't change how I feel. I...I hate you."
He looked at her, stunned. His heart plummeted to his stomach. Her words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of their meaning.
"I do. I hate you Max. I hate you for being able to get everything I've only ever dared to dream of." She couldn't believe she was admitting it to Max's face, breaking the heart of the man she claimed to love.
Max felt as though the ground had been ripped out from under him, the sting of her words cutting deeper than any wound ever could. "I can't believe you're saying this," he mumbled, his voice chocked.
"I wish I didn't have to Max but I can't bear to keep lying to your face. I wish I could just pretend like everything's okay, like I'm still happy for you. But I can't, I'm sorry." YN's voice cracked with the weight of her confession, tears streaming down her cheeks as she looked at him with a strange mix of love and loathing. "I love you too much to keep lying to you."
The silence was sepulcral, years and years of shared moments full of love completely destroyed by the sick envy that had infected YN.
But the truth is, their love was doomed from the beginning.
#f1 fanfic#formula 1#f1#f1 x reader#fanfiction#max verstappen#redbull racing#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen blurb#max verstappen x you#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen angst#mv1#max verstappen 1#f1 fic#motorsports#max verstappen fanfiction#mv33#mv33 x reader#mv1 x reader#max verstappen 33
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Breaking Point (Homelander x reader)
Homelander delights in teasing you until he needles you too much on the wrong day. 1.5k words | Jerk Homelander to guilty Homelander, hurt/comfort if you squint. Homelander x gn!reader, implied chronic pain reader, implied plus-sized reader, [A03]
You are so soft. Your flesh gives under his grasp when he yanks you by the arm, careless with how it makes you stumble. Homelander laughs mockingly at the small, annoyed twitch of your lip as he tugs you close. Too close.
"Hey. Where are those new poll results, sweetheart?" The words are a purr, warm breath a caress against your cheek as he looms too close to be proper. Everything done with calculated intent to pull a reaction from you.
You stare blankly up at him, expression schooled neutral. You're used to this game. You've watched other employees crack and fracture under the pressure Homelander exerts. You refuse. You're made of sterner stuff, a master of hiding how you're honestly feeling.
He knows he gets to you, but you rarely let it show on the outside. You can school your face, but there's no controlling how he makes your heart hammer in your chest. How being so close to him sets your nerves alight in a pleasant sensation. Homelander leers down at you, pleased at how your pulse skitters under his scrutiny. He releases you, stepping back as the persona of a proper gentleman settles into place. Homelander smiles as he waits for your reply, the well-practiced one that the cameras always catch.
You're quick to give Homelander an indulgent smile back. An exchange of fake expressions as the two of you play nice. You look so placid and calm before him, but Homelander knows better. He can hear your heart jumping in your chest.
"I can pull them up for you right now if you want?" You reply, the words even and calm as you look up expectantly. You're too tired to deal with any bullshit. Homelander's included. You're always too tired.
In his eyes you're so amiable, so sweet. So disgusting. Your response isn't what he wants. It's controlled and that's no fun. He's not satisfied with your performance. Homelander sneers, whirling away with a flutter of his cape. "Never mind."
You stand there, grimacing in his wake as you rub the spot where he grabbed you. You briefly let your honest emotions flicker freely on your face while his back is turned.. No eyes on you at this moment as sheer frustration and pain settles in. You take a breath as your mask of calm is set back into place. You go on with your day.
Why are you so soft? Under his hands and how you interact with others. Why do you always hand out such easy smiles so freely? He hates that about you. You carry that weary calm like a cloak, but you'll shake it off with a vibrant smile and a laugh if the right person engages you in conversation. They distract you from your fatigue and you light right up.
Homelander has yet to earn one of those sunshine smiles. He gets the fake ones. The ones that make him feel like a child clamoring for attention that you only indulge with your patience. He hates it. It makes him feel small. A god should never feel this way around such a weak mortal as yourself.
As any god does, he lets it bruise his fragile ego. The mortal must be punished and punish you he does. Every day Homelander tries to get a rise out of you. He tries to crack that cheerful facade you've welded in place. It must be fake. No animal has such a cheerful disposition naturally. There's no reason for it because you're so often a lethargic thing. He can smell the weariness on you, the stress, and even pain. How the fuck are you still smiling?
-and why the fuck do you never smile at him?
Homelander decides, in his usual mature fashion, that if you won't smile? He'll bait out your anger instead. He wants, needs a reaction from you beyond those fake smiles.
He continues to goad you day in and day out. He'll slide right up next to you, too close, and lean down to ask directly into your ear for a report or some statistics on what his numbers are doing. Any old excuse to engage with you. He gleefully invades your personal space and is extra handsy because Homelander knows you hate it while he's aware of the effect it has on your body.
If he grabs your shoulder and squeezes just so, your breath hitches. If he places a palm against the small of your back, your pulse races away without fail. If Homelander berates your fashion choices or comments on how tired you look, you flash that hollow smile while your eyes speak loathing at him. He wants that fire, craves it.
The tired fatigue that you always carry briefly pulls back to hint at a simmering something. One day he'll get you boiling over. In anger, in lust. It doesn't matter which one as long as it happens with him there to witness it.
Homelander finds himself brimming with anticipation for that day until it finally happens.
Everyone has a breaking point, even you.
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts. It's too much, please just-
He's caught you trying to hide away in a conference room, the scent of adrenaline in the air as your heart races. A glance with his x-ray vision reveals you staring off with shaking fists clenched against your plush sides.
Finally!
Will you lash out? Will you bite back? The thought sends a thrill through Homelander at seeing little Miss Sunshine finally rattled. There's a storm brewing on your face as your fingers tighten. It's an expression Homelander knows he's worn many a time. The sort of look that has interns scattering and Ashley stammering.
What a delight it'll be to see what you unleash. What can you possibly do, as small and soft as you are? Will it be like watching a kitten hiss and claw? Adorably pathetic.
He strides into the conference room with a smirk, the door clicking shut behind him. "There you are! You missed today's meeting, you know." He chides softly with a waggle of one finger as Homelander strides closer. You stare up at him, eyes blazing.
"Now what are we going to do about that?" Homelander goes on, voice as smooth as honey as he smirks down at you.
Something in your expression shifts. A crack in your mask appears.
Gotcha.
"Well?" He prompts, expectant. Giddiness trickles down his spine as Homelander grins wide, fangs on display. He can't wait to see how this rage of yours plays out.
Except you don't unleash anything on him. You don't even insult Homelander, which would give him reason to taunt you further or retaliate. It would give him a reason to finally lash out at you in earnest, but all you're doing is standing there.
Your expression crumples up like wet tissue. The tears are white hot and silently streaking down your face in an instant. The sound you make is beyond pathetic as you drop back into your seat, huddling into yourself. Homelander watches stock-still as you draw your legs up, arms coiling about your knees as you bury your face away from his gaze.
It's a truly pathetic sight, sobbing like the little mud person you are.
Homelander should feel triumphant. His grin twists to a grimace. He awkwardly shifts, gloves creaking as he balls his fingers into fists at his side.
Why isn't he pleased? He's watching you shatter and it doesn't wash him in the usual delight bringing misery to others does. Your sunshine is gone and it's raining on your parade, which is exactly what Homelander wanted.
Your crying should amuse Homelander. He's not amused. Instead, there's a sinking feeling within the pit of his stomach. A dead weight settles heavy inside as all his amusement flees at the sound of your whimpering sobs. It's a foreign sensation and Homelander doesn't like it one bit.
Homelander works his jaw as guilt chews away at his insides, stuck to the spot hovering over you. You continue to cry, quieter now with your back bowed and face hidden. He can smell the salt of your tears easily.
Silently, he reaches back to pull up the length of his cape. This Homelander offers to you. He doesn't have a handkerchief like a proper gentleman, so this will have to do.
He knows he's broken something. Carelessly snapped it in two. Homelander has done it countless times before. The snap of a spine. Fizzle pop of a control deck. The crackle and sizzle of flesh. The wet sucking sound as organs spill on the floor. It's natural for a creature such as him. Things breaking is a fact of his life. He's never felt guilty about any of those times. Guilt is a rare emotion for Homelander but now it's clawing up his throat, threatening to choke him.
Homelander blinks and refocuses his gaze as he feels a tug on his cape. He watches in a detached way as you dab at your face with the fabric, sniffling loudly. Homelander can't make himself apologize. He doesn't know how.
Instead, he asks in a surprisingly tentative voice. "Bad day?"
That takes you by surprise as your gaze snaps to him. You stare a beat up at Homelander and then you smile. It's a quavering sort, but it's an honest smile. The sunshine rushes back into your face as Homelander sucks a breath in. Were you always such a lovely little creature?
"Yeah," You say slowly. "Something like that."
#homelander#homelander writing#homelander x reader#the boys fanfic#drabble#plus-sized reader#PURE self-indulgence venting on a bad pain day that became a drabble#-and now Homelander has a new Reader version to smooch in my brain along with the Little Bug
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Bound by Shadows || Azriel
Summary: Request - I'm hoping you could write a fanfic where reader, Feyre's twin, who actually killed the wolf but let Feyre take the credit... and before she realizes what she's done Feyre is gone. She struggles with guilt and isolation in Velaris after the sisters transformation by the Cauldron.... Read Rest Here
A/N: OKAY I LOVE THIS. It got away from me a bit. I didn't realize how fun this world would be to dive into. Let me know your thoughts as always :)
Pairing: Azriel Shadowsinger x Female Reader (Feyre Archeron Twin Sister)
Word Count: 8.2k +
TW: General ACOTAR TW
Under the starlit skies of Velaris the City of Starlight pulses with a life of its own. Its vibrant lights reflecting off the river with laughter and music filling the air, breathing life into every cobblestone and corner. But for you the city’s brilliance only deepens the shadows that cling to your soul. Shadows that no light seems capable of dispelling.
You walked alone. Your steps aimless being driven by the restless guilt that gnaws incessantly at your conscience. Every whisper of the wind seems to accuse you, every glance from a passerby seems to pierce through the facade you barely maintain. The weight of the secret you harbor presses down on you with every step… the wolf, the woods, the dreadful slice of the arrow that was meant to protect Feyre not harm her. But Feyre stepped forward and shouldered the blame. She was taken from you in an instant and forced to face the horrors of the faerie lands. It was all to shield you her twin she thought of being too gentle, too fragile for the brutal truths of that world.
The transformation wrought by the Cauldron has only magnified everything. Every emotion, every fear, every shard of guilt. It was supposed to be a rebirth but for you it feels more like a slow descent into a nightmare from which you cannot awaken. The power that now courses through your veins feels like chains. A constant reminder of the price paid to the mother. Of the freedom you don’t believe you deserve.
As you wander through the bustling streets the sounds of celebration around you clash violently with the turmoil within. Families and lovers share warm, joyous moments. Their laughter echoing in the crisp night air while you drift among them. You were simply a specter unseen, untouched by the light of their joy. Your heart aches with a loneliness so profound it threatens to consume you whole. To reduce your existence to a mere shadow of regret and sorrow.
You find yourself on one of the many ornate bridges spanning the Sidra. A place you often found some sort of solace in. You leaned over the balustrade to gaze into the dark waters below. The reflection of the city’s lights dances across the surface, a stark contrast to the darkness that seems to stretch endlessly beneath. It is here in the quiet far enough away from the eyes of those who know you, those who worry over you, that your facade finally cracks.
Tears that were unbidden and unwelcome, spill over, tracing cold paths down your cheeks. You are tired. So incredibly tired of pretending. Of hiding the depth of your pain. You wish to scream so loud. To let out the anguish that fills you, but your voice is as lost as your soul feels in the face of your endless guilt. Instead, you just stare down at the dark waters with silent sobs wracking your body. It was better this way. You couldn’t let Feyre see you like this. She was finally so happy. So happy with her mate. Her Rhysand. You couldn’t threaten that happiness. You owed her so much more than that. You quite literally owed her your life. So, you would suck it up in solace. Cry it out on your own.
In the solitude of the night, you allowed yourself to feel your overwhelming emotions. To acknowledge the pain and the darkness. Little did you know you are not as alone as you believe. From the shadows an Illyrian figure watches you. His own heart heavy with unspoken secrets. Azriel was the spymaster of night court for a reason. He picked up on you disappearing for hours at a time when the others didn’t. He picked up on the fake smiles you threw everyone’s way. He seemed to pick up on it while the others didn’t… other than Feyre who seemed to watch you just as much as he did. He decided he would watch over you. For Feyre, his brothers mate. And for you. The woman who couldn’t seem to get used to being Fae as easily as your sisters did. The human turned Fae that consumed more of his thoughts than he cared to admit.
But for now, he waited behind his shadows. A silent guardian in the night recognizing that some battles must be faced alone before they can be shared.
You returned from the bustling markets of Velaris with arms laden with the myriad items Feyre requested. As you approach the townhouse the warm light from within spills out onto the cobblestones. It was a stark contrast to the dusk settling over the city. You pause at the door steeling yourself with a deep breath before stepping inside. Your smile as you hand the bags to Feyre doesn't quite reach your eyes. But she's too caught up in the moment to notice.
"Thank you so much," she says with a relief evident as she starts to unpack the food you’d volunteered to pick up for her. She pauses before she got too carried away giving you that look, the one you've come to know so well. The one that silently implores you to stay. To be a part of her world. "Will you stay for dinner? Everyone's coming over. Even Amren agreed to come. It would mean so much to me."
Her eyes are pleading and you know you can't refuse. Not when she's given up so much for you. With a nod you agree even as your stomach tightens at the thought of facing everyone. It was easy to fake your inner turmoil when it was only her or Rhys. But when it was the entirety of the Inner Circle it was harder to hide away. Inevitably someone would get you hooked in on a conversation. You haven't sat down with them since… well, since before the Cauldron. Since before everything changed. And that was almost an entire year ago now. You knew this request would come sooner or later. Though you were hoping for later you were going to suck it up for Feyre.
As the evening wears on the townhouse fills with laughter and conversation with everyone gathering in the familiar camaraderie that once felt like home to you. But now you feel like an outsider watching from the shadows even as you sit among them. At the dinner table you're terribly quiet. You were merely pushing food around your plate listening to the ebb and flow of conversations you can't force yourself to seem to join.
Feyre decided to sit beside you in hopes of calming your nerves. She notices. She notices the way your eyes were downturned. The way you occasionally nodded your head or smiled briefly pretending to be listening. The way you didn’t pick your fork up once. Her joy fades a little each time she glances your way. You didn’t notice the way her expression turned from mirth to concern. She squeezed your hand under the table in a silent message of solidarity and love. But even her touch can't pull you from the fog that's settled over you. You couldn’t help but wonder if this was your punishment? To live in a hazed state for thousands of years? Oh, how you wished to be a tiny little human again with the promise of dead after a hundred years or so.
Rhysand sat at the head of the table catches Feyre’s subtle, worried glances towards her twin. She meets his eyes with a silent conversation passing between them. She didn’t know what to do anymore. She needed help. He nods slightly. His expression was solemn, understanding the depth of her worry. His gaze then shifts to you filled with a quiet resolve. He knew you were struggling but didn’t pick up on just how much you were. You’d done a masterful job until tonight hiding it away.
Rhysand had felt the ripple of concern from Feyre long before she voiced it. Her distress over your withdrawal echoing within him. She watched you with a sister's keen eye and her silent worry bled into their shared bond. A testament to her deep care for you.
Azriel, Feyre is troubled by Y/N's state. As am I. Rhysand's thought reached out to his brother that was sitting next to you. There was a thread of urgency woven through the mental call. She's pulling away and Feyre feels it deeply. Keep an eye on her please? Help her if you can.
Azriel's presence in Rhysand's mind was immediate and calm. He was steady force amid the silent storm of concern. I'm already on it, Rhys. I’ve sensed it too, he assured. His mental voice as composed as the shadows he commanded. You don't need to worry. I’ve been watching over her not out of obligation, but because... because she matters to me. I’ll make sure she’s safe and supported.
Azriel’s vigilance came not from an order but from a place of quiet solidarity. His attunement to the nuances of emotion and the unspoken had already drawn him to your side. Rhysand’s request merely echoed the actions he’d already undertaken. His actions were born from a blend of duty and a deep, personal concern that Azriel rarely let show. In the face of Feyre's distress and now Rhysand’s request, he became a silent sentinel for you. He needed to ensure that you were not only protected but also truly seen and understood.
Dinner continues around you as you withdrew into yourself. The laughter a stark contrast to the turmoil raging within you. You're barely aware of Azriel's presence on your other side until you feel him beside you. His chair slightly closer than usual. His voice is soft, almost lost in the surrounding noise, as he leans in. "You don't have to be anything you're not, not here," he murmurs only for you to hear. "It’s okay to just be. To just breathe." His words meant to comfort felt like a lifeline in the sea of your tumultuous thoughts. You didn’t look at him for you were worried tears might spill over. But you nodded in acknowledgement letting him know that you heard him.
The evening slowly winds down and as the others linger over drinks and stories Azriel stays by your side. His presence a steady promise of understanding and patience. He doesn't push you to talk nor does he expect smiles. Instead, he offers the silent support you didn't know you needed, becoming a guardian not just of your safety, but of your peace.
Feyre watches this exchange with a glimmer of hope lighting up her worried features. Perhaps with Azriel's help you might find your way back to them. To yourself. Tonight, though, is just a small step in your journey back to yourself.
As everyone departs for the night you linger in the living room feigning interest in tidying up the small mess left behind. Feyre watches you for a moment with that same concern etching her features. But she decided against speaking, sensing your need for space.
Once the house is quiet you decide to step out for a walk under the night sky of Velaris. It had become your favorite routine. A routine that kept you grounded. A quick walk to your favorite spot on the Sidra. The city's soft lights reflect gently on the river casting dancing patterns on the water. It's beautiful yet the sight does little to ease the tightness in your chest.
You're so lost in your thoughts that you don't notice Azriel's approach until he's almost beside you. His presence is calming and somehow it doesn't startle you. Perhaps because in your heart you know he understands the need for quiet. His own demeanor is often just as reserved.
"Good evening," he says. His voice a low rumble. "Care for some company or would you prefer solitude tonight?"
You consider his offer for a moment. Company might not be so bad even though this was usually just a place for you. But it was Azriel. Someone who respects the silence as much as you do. "Company sounds nice, thank you," you reply with your voice softer than you intended.
Azriel nods falling into step beside you. As you walk his shadows play at your feet. It was a subtle yet comforting gesture. At one point one of his shadows curls around your hand. This small, almost imperceptible touch from his shadows offers a silent, comforting presence that envelops you in a sense of security. Neither of you speaks as you walk along the riverbank. The only sounds was the gentle lapping of water against the shore and the distant hum of the city. The silence between you is more than comfortable, filled with an unspoken understanding that words can sometimes be too cumbersome.
After a while though Azriel speaks up. He wasn’t looking at you but staring out at the water. "It's easy to feel lost in this city… even with its lights and crowds. Sometimes it feels like being surrounded by shadows even in the brightest part of the day."
You glance at him, surprised by the reflection of your own feelings in his words. "Yes, it does," you agree. You were feeling a weight lift slightly knowing that someone else understands.
He nods slightly at your words, "The shadows aren't all there is though. There are places, moments like these, that can offer some respite. And not all shadows are bad." He smiles looking down at the ones that clung to your feet.
His words make you look at him anew. You weren’t just seeing the spymaster or the warrior but someone who also seeks to find balance between the light and the dark. It makes you wonder if perhaps in this shared moment you might find a way to navigate your own shadows. They might not all be bad you had to agree with him.
You don't say much more as you walk back to the townhouse, but the silent agreement hangs between you, comforting and promising. Maybe, just maybe, you're not as alone as you thought.
The dawn is still a whisper of light across Velaris as you sit quietly by the Sidra. The gentle murmur of the river a soothing background to your thoughts that never seemed to shut the hell up. Lost in the reflections of the dancing water you hardly notice Azriel’s approach until he’s beside you. His presence as quiet as the morning. It was becoming a routine for him to join you on the river it seemed. Not that you minded. He might be the one person you’d happily accept to intrude on your solitude.
“You’re up early,” he remarks softly not wanting to startle you. His tone as gentle as the river’s flow.
You look up with a soft smile on your face. His familiar, reassuring presence is a comfort. “Just needed some air,” you reply with a yawn. Your voice carrying the weight of another sleepless night.
Azriel nods, understanding. He looks out over the water for a moment sharing the silence with you. Then, turning back to you, he suggests, “Come with me. I think I have something that might help clear your head. Help you to focus a bit.”
You’re hesitant. The idea of doing anything but sitting quietly feels daunting. But there’s something about his offer. The promise of relief, however temporary, that nudges you to your feet.
“It’s just training,” he adds. seeing your uncertainty. “Physical activity can be a good way to let out some of the emotions that are harder to express in words. We’ll take it slow. You set the pace.”
Trusting Azriel’s judgment, knowing he wouldn’t push you into something without reason, you stand and follow him towards the training grounds. The city is quietly waking around you and the walk is silent but comfortable. His presence a steady reassurance by your side. Something you were slowly growing to cherish.
As you reach the secluded training area the first rays of sunlight begin to warm the cool morning air. Azriel gives you a small, encouraging smile. “Let’s start simple. No pressure. Just you learning to trust your strength again.”
The training starts at an easy pace. Azriel guiding you through basic maneuvers. His patience was evident. But as your body begins to warm up with the activity and your focus sharpens on the movements. There was that sense of release you never knew could come. It was unfamiliar yet welcome that starts to take hold on you.
As the morning sun climbs higher the training session progresses under Azriel's watchful eye. You find yourself gradually syncing with the rhythm of the physical exertion. Each movement flushing out the restless energy that has been building up inside you. Azriel's guidance is firm yet encouraging and you start to feel a rare sense of accomplishment as you slowly master each new maneuver he throws at you.
But as the session intensifies Azriel begins to push you harder, increasing the pace and complexity of the drills. His softness changed into some else. You knew he was only pushing you to help but it was starting to become a little too much. You’d only been Fae for a year to his centuries. "Come on, Y/N, focus. You can handle this," he urges. Throwing a series of rapid, controlled strikes that you're meant to block and counter.
For a moment you rise to the challenge your movements sharp and sure. Yet the physical strain is relentless. All too soon it starts to mirror the inner struggled you've been trying to manage. The boundaries between physical exertion and emotional pain blur… each block and dodge feeling more like a fight against your inner demons rather than a simple training exercise.
Suddenly, one of Azriel's strikes comes a little too close, a little too fast. It isn't meant to hit you and it doesn't but the rush of air as it passes by your face triggers something within you. Panic seizes your chest and the walls you've been holding up begin to crumble. Your movements falter. Your hands drop to your sides rapidly as your breath catches in your throat.
You step back abruptly with short, ragged breaths. Azriel stops immediately, concern replacing the intensity in his eyes. "Hey, are you okay?" he asks all too softly this time. He watched with concern as you struggled to compose yourself.
You nod rapidly trying to blink back the tears that want to rush out. “I’m fine. Just tired.” You murmur. It didn’t even sound believable to you. You turned you back to him so he wouldn’t see the distraught look on your face.
He steps forward with a sadness etched deeply on his features. "It's more than just tiredness, isn't it?" he asks gently as he reached out but stopped short, giving you space yet showing his readiness to support.
You shake your head again trying to compose yourself. Willing yourself to rebuild the barriers crumbling around you. "I'm fine, really, just got a little carried away," you offer weakly with your back still turned, fearing that facing him might reveal too much.
But Azriel doesn’t retreat. Instead, his shadows do what he physically refrains from—they reach out for you. You feel a cool, soothing sensation as one shadow gently curls around your arm, not binding but comforting. It was like a silent message of empathy and support. The unexpected kindness, the soft touch of darkness that doesn’t demand or judge, only seeks to comfort. But it undoes you completely.
Your defenses shatter at the tender contact. Tears finally spilling over as you turn back to face him. The floodgates opened by the gentle brush of his shadow. "I'm not fine," you admit, your voice choked with emotion. "It's all just... it's too much sometimes. I feel like I'm drowning in what I had to do. In what Feyre had to endure because of me. All because of me."
Azriel listens with his gaze never wavering. His eyes were filled with compassion and a profound understanding. His shadow retracts slightly giving you a moment, respecting your space while keeping the silent promise of his presence.
He nods his head willing you to continue. "Let it out, Y/N. You don't have to carry this alone," he says quietly finding the courage to step closer now. He opened his arms to you in an offer of comfort that you no longer have the strength to refuse.
As you step into his embrace, allowing yourself to be held, the warmth of his body contrasts with the cool touch of his shadows creating a cocoon of safety around you. "I was the one who killed the wolf that started this whole mess," you confess through sobs. Your words muffled against his chest. "Feyre took the blame to protect me... because she thought I couldn't handle the consequences."
“It’s okay,” he whispers. His voice close to your ear. “You were never meant to carry this alone.” He pauses. His hand gently lifting your chin so you can look at him. “Feyre’s path was her own. Fate had a hand in it. She was meant to meet Rhysand through Tamlin. To find her way to the Night Court. It couldn’t have been you, Y/N. Your path is different and it’s still unfolding.”
You shake your head feeling the weight of it all. “But-“
Azriel’s hold tightens reassuringly. His wings stretched around you before he stops you. “She did what she believed was right, out of love. And now you need to allow yourself to be loved and supported, too. Let your family be here for you. Let me be here for you.” he pleads, his tone imbued with a promise. In the safety of Azriel’s wings with the gentle embrace of his shadows, you feel a lightness you haven’t felt in a long time.
Beneath the shelter of his wings Azriel holds you close feeling the profound shift within as your eyes meet. In that moment a golden thread previously unseen but always present tightens, binding your soul to his. The mating bond ignites with a radiant force, undeniable and transformative.
This newfound connection stirs a deep protectiveness in Azriel, an urge to cherish and guard you that feels both ancient and freshly awakened. Love pulses through this bond unspoken yet palpable aligning his heartbeat with yours. He experiences a profound sense of belonging, understanding now that every moment with you, every shared concern, was leading to this revelation.
With the emergence of the bond, Azriel, who often cloaked himself in mystery, finds in you a clarity that illuminates his existence. This bond does not overwhelm; instead, it completes him, brightening his path forward. The world around him expands promising a journey not walked alone but side by side, in step with each breath.
Yet, the magnitude of this discovery brings a mix of elation and a daunting sense of responsibility. You are vulnerable, your soul laid bare before him, and he is cautious not to burden you further. Internally, Azriel grapples with the desire to declare the bond versus the need to provide you with stability and support without the shock of this revelation.
He resolves to keep this monumental discovery to himself for now, focusing on being your steadfast support. His shadows as a subtle extension of his will, curl gently around you both. They offered a protection and comfort without overwhelming you with the truth.
Azriel knows he must seek Rhysand’s counsel to navigate the complexities of this bond with sensitivity and respect for your emotions. As he holds you he silently vows to take this journey at a pace that honors both your readiness and the bond’s potential. Wrapped in his embrace, Azriel stands as your guardian bonded by fate yet guided by a deep respect for the journey your heart needs to undertake.
"You've been strong today," Azriel whispers into your hair as he senses your grip tighten. "Let's head back home. You need rest." His voice is as soothing as the twilight and his offer is tender, without any urgency that might hint at the truth simmering beneath his calm exterior.
The walk back from the training grounds is quiet, filled with a companionable silence that speaks of shared struggles and mutual care. As Azriel guides you to Feyre's studio, where she immerses herself in swathes of color and light, his touch lingers reassuringly on your arm. It's an affirmation of his presence, his support, his unspoken pledge to be there for you, come what may.
You offer him a soft smile. One that acknowledges the solace his presence brings even though you were still oblivious to the tectonic shift in his inner landscape. Azriel returns your smile with a quiet intensity, a vow that when the time comes for the bond to reveal itself to you he'll be there, just as he is now—steadfast, protective, and utterly devoted.
A subtle shift in Azriel’s demeanor as he prepares to leave catches Feyre's sharp eye. There's a fleeting tension, a trace of something potent and profound flickering in the depths of his usually inscrutable eyes. It's a glimpse of vulnerability. An undercurrent of panic that he's quick to disguise but not before Feyre takes note. Something significant has unsettled the shadowsinger and it likely had to do with you.
With a nod that holds more gravity than usual Azriel turns to go. His steps are measured but the urgency in his exit is apparent to anyone who knows him well. Once he steps beyond the view of the townhouse his wings unfurl, a dark silhouette against the Velaris skyline. He takes to the air with a speed driven by the need for counsel. For understanding the newly realized bond weighing on him with a mix of awe and anxiety.
He lands at the House of Wind with an intensity that is uncharacteristic for him. His feet touching down on the stone with a thud. There's no time for hesitation as he makes his way to where he knows he'll find Rhysand, perhaps Cassian too. The door to the study bursts open under his force and he stands there as a figure riddled with the shock of his own heart's awakening.
Inside the study, Rhysand and Cassian pause mid-conversation as the unexpected clamor announces Azriel's approach. Concern flickers over their faces. A stark, thunderous arrival is not Azriel's way.
"Are you alright, Az?" Cassian is the first to react. His voice tinged with concern as he notes Azriel's agitated state.
Azriel pauses before catching his breath. His demeanor one of a man grappling with overwhelming news. "It's the mating bond," he manages to say with his voice tight of emotion. "With Y/N—it just... it just snapped into place."
Rhysand rises from his chair. His expression shifting to one of understanding as he processes Azriel's words. The air in the room thickens with the significance of his declaration and there's a moment of collective stillness as they all absorb the meaning.
Cassian’s previous levity fades into a solemn gravity, reflecting the seriousness of Azriel's revelation. "That’s... big news, Az. How are you feeling about this?" he asks as he stepped closer in caution.
Rhysand, maintaining his composure, offers a supportive nod. "This is a momentous time, Azriel. We’re here for you, whatever you need," he assures him embodying the role of the leader who understands the profound implications of such a bond.
Azriel exhales deeply the reality of the situation settling in. "It's overwhelming," he concedes. A frown creasing his brow. "I mean, I hoped, maybe even wished for it. But now that it’s here, it feels... heavy." He looks up. His expression serious. "She’s still healing. I need to be careful. Need to make sure this doesn’t overwhelm her."
Rhysand gives a supportive nod. "Just keep being there for her, Az. You’ve always managed to support her without pushing. This doesn’t change your approach just your understanding of the connection."
Cassian smirks, pushing off from the table and clapping Azriel on the back with a bit more force than necessary. "Look at you all serious and broody—more than usual, I mean. Come on, Az, you know you're probably the only one who can handle this with the perfect blend of mystery. Besides," he adds with a wry grin, "have you seen the way she looks at you when you're not looking? That’s not just gratitude my friend. It’s like she’s hit the jackpot and she doesn’t even know it yet."
Azriel can’t help but crack a small smile despite the turmoil inside. "Thanks, Cass. I just don’t want to mess this up."
"Don’t worry so much, brother," Cassian chuckles, his tone light but earnest. "You’re doing fine. Plus, if you start floating around like a lovestruck bat, I’ll be here to pull you back down."
Rhysand laughs softly before shaking his head at the general. "He’s right, though. Take it step by step, Azriel. Let her come to terms with her own feelings. When she’s ready it’ll be right for both of you."
Feeling somewhat lighter Azriel nods appreciatively at his brothers. "Step by step," he repeats, firming his resolve. With a final nod he steps back into the night bolstered by the mix of Cassian’s humor and Rhysand’s leadership. He was ready to face the future with a heart full of hope and a mind cautious of the delicate balance he needs to maintain.
Back in the townhouse Feyre greets you with that mischievous grin that heralds some sisterly teasing. She sets her paintbrush down before wiping her hands on a cloth as her eyes sparkle with playful curiosity. "So, what did you do to him?" she teases with a smirk on her face.
You frown genuinely puzzled by her question. "What? Nothing, I... we were just training, then he said he had to go." Your voice trails off mirroring your confusion over Azriel's sudden change in demeanor.
Feyre chuckles, shaking her head as she picks up her brush again. "That man is always so mysterious. But don't worry it's probably just Azriel things. Or maybe, just maybe, you're the perfect distraction for our dear spymaster."
"What are you on about?" you ask while feeling a mix of amusement and bewilderment at her jest.
"Oh, please!" Feyre laughs, her brush dancing over the canvas. "He looks at you like every moment you spend together is something precious. Like you're a rare painting he can't quite believe he's stumbled upon."
"You're imagining things," you dismiss her. Shaking your head with a smile. "Azriel is just being kind. He's like that with everyone."
Feyre gives you a knowing look. Her smirk broadening. "Sure, he’s kind to everyone, but with you it’s different. He doesn’t look at anyone else quite like he looks at you. Like you’ve cast a spell on him and he’s trying to figure out how to live with the enchantment."
Her words make you pause. The playful insinuation tugging at the edges of your thoughts. Despite your dismissal Feyre’s observation lingers. A teasing possibility that maybe there's a hint of truth in her playful assertions. The room fills with your laughter, a sound that masks the flutter of curiosity her words have sparked.
Unbeknownst to you while you puzzle over Azriel's sudden departure, Feyre's mind is swiftly connecting with Rhysand's. A silent inquiry flits through their bond: Something's up with Azriel, he seemed... off. Did I miss something?
Rhysand's mental response comes with a chuckle that Feyre can almost hear: He’s fine, love. Just had a bit of a revelation. He’ll share when he's ready.
A spark of mischief lights up Feyre’s eyes as understanding dawns on her. Her lips curve into a sly, knowing grin. But she carefully masks any hint of her newfound knowledge from you. "You know, I think we deserve some fun today. Just us twins. You’ve been pushing hard with all that training and brooding," she suggests. Her voice bubbling with an excitement that piques your curiosity.
"Really? What did you have in mind?" you ask. Your earlier confusion over Azriel's behavior giving way to intrigue at Feyre's sudden enthusiasm.
"Oh, just a day for us to unwind and maybe get into a little mischief," Feyre replies, winking. "We can leave the mysteries of shadowy spymasters behind and focus on spoiling ourselves."
You laugh while nodding in agreement, relieved to set aside the morning's puzzles. "That sounds perfect, actually."
As the day unfolds with Feyre leading the way with her occasional secretive smiles and the warmth of her company envelop you, making you feel cherished and a part of something larger than just sisterly bonding. Every now and then she throws you a look filled with unspoken laughter as if she's in on a joke that’s yet to be told adding an intriguing layer to your day out.
"Enjoy today," Feyre says at one point. Her grin infectious. "Because who knows? Tomorrow you might find yourself swept off your feet in ways you never expected." Her words are light, but they dance with implication, leaving you wondering about the possibilities that tomorrow might bring.
As the days unfold since your training session you begin to notice an unusual shift in Azriel's behavior when he's around you. Always the quiet, stoic presence, he now seems to carry an air of nervousness that is both surprising and endearing. It's as if he's forgotten how to be around you. His typically smooth demeanor replaced with an awkwardness that sends a ripple of amusement throughout your days.
During your daily routines, whether you're practicing combat skills or just strolling through the lush gardens of the Night Court, Azriel is consistently by your side. Yet, his typical quiet confidence seems to falter. Today when he hands you a training sword his fingers not only linger but also tremble slightly against yours. The contact is brief but the moment his skin brushes against yours a visible blush creeps up his neck coloring his cheeks in a rare show of discomposure.
"Sorry," he stutters. Quickly retracting his hand as if scorched by the brief contact. He averts his gaze making sure to look anywhere but at you. His discomfort palpable in the tight set of his shoulders.
You can't help but tilt your head eyeing him with a mixture of concern and curiosity. "Azriel, are you alright?" you ask with a hint of a smile on your lips. Your voice is soft though hoping to ease some of his evident tension. The gardens around you bloom vibrantly. A stark contrast to Azriel’s suddenly flustered state.
He clears his throat attempting to regain some of his usual composure. "Yes, I'm... fine," he manages. His voice a notch higher than usual. He meets your gaze again holding it for a moment longer than he intends. The intensity of his stare both confusing and thrilling.
Just then as if to spite Azriel, Cassian strolls by and upon noticing Azriel's flushed face and your puzzled expression he can't help but let out a snicker. "Lost your cool, Shadowsinger?" he teases, winking at you before continuing on his way with a chuckle. "You’re usually smoother than this, brother!"
Azriel shoots Cassian a brief glare but there's a resigned humor in his eyes that suggests he knows just how out of character he must seem. As Cassian’s laughter fades into the distance Azriel finally turns back to you attempting a sheepish smile.
"It seems I'm a bit out of sorts today," he admits. His voice finally steadying. "Nothing to worry about, really."
Watching Azriel grapple with this uncharacteristic awkwardness only endears him more to you. There’s a sweetness in his struggle. A reminder that beneath the composed façade of the Night Court’s spymaster lies a depth of emotion rarely seen but profoundly felt.
On a tranquil afternoon in the Night Court, you find yourself relaxing in one of the quieter gardens alongside Feyre, Rhys, and Azriel. The air is filled with gentle laughter and the soft rustling of leaves. Cassian and Nesta are notably absent, presumably because Cassian has taken it upon himself to "help" Nesta with some errands—a pursuit that everyone knows often ends in playful bickering and affectionate banter.
Elain has also opted for a day out with Lucien exploring new botanical gardens on the outskirts of the city. Her passion for plants and Lucien's support in her endeavors showcases the growing bond between them.
The conversation flows easily until Rhys, with a mischievous sparkle in his eyes, steers it towards Azriel’s recent scouting mission. "Azriel here stumbled upon something quite intriguing recently, didn’t you?" he teases while watching Azriel closely.
Caught off-guard Azriel’s response is delayed, his eyes widening slightly as if Rhys had tread into forbidden territory. "It was nothing out of the ordinary," he finally mutters. Though his voice holds a trace of unease.
Feyre jumps into the fray. Her tone laced with playful curiosity. "Oh, but I heard it was quite the discovery. Rare and fascinating… something that might deeply engage a man’s interest."
You laugh completely oblivious to the underlying meaning and look at Azriel with raised eyebrows. "What was it, Az? Some kind of hidden gem or a lost artifact?"
There’s a brief moment where Azriel’s composure falters under your direct gaze, his eyes meeting yours before quickly glancing away. He recovers quickly, however, a slight flush on his cheeks. "Yes, something like that," he agrees, his voice steadying. "A discovery that could indeed change one’s perspective for a lifetime."
Rhys doesn't miss a beat adding with a light chuckle, "Let’s hope it’s not kept secret too long. Such treasures are better when shared, right?"
Feyre nods enthusiastically. Her eyes dancing with amusement. "Especially when they bring people closer together, right, Az?"
Azriel meets Feyre’s gaze. His expression settling into a subtle smile that hints at his deep thoughts. “Indeed,” he replies quietly, the single word rich with unspoken meaning, affirming the sentiment with his usual succinct eloquence.
As the conversation moves on the jokes and laughter continue, your heart warmed by the newfound perspective you found with them. Azriel watches you with a gentle, albeit slightly wistful smile. He noticed how much more you're around, how your laughter fills the air more often, and how your vibrant personality begins to shine through once more. His heart fills with a mixture of relief and deep affection, seeing the signs of your healing. In these moments he cherishes the progress you've made feeling hopeful about the future. He was ready to support you every step of the way as the true nature of his discovery waits to be shared with you.
As the weeks blend into months, the connection between you and Azriel deepens. It was nurtured by shared moments and his unwavering support. On a crisp evening as the sun begins its descent painting the sky with strokes of pink and gold, Azriel brings you to a secluded hilltop that overlooks Velaris. This spot was known only to him and offers a panoramic view of the city as it starts to twinkle with the first lights of evening, the natural grassy surface underfoot soft and inviting.
Standing close by his presence was both comforting and solid, Azriel shares a story, his voice low and warm, recounting a humorous mishap from his early days as a spymaster. The tale is endearing, revealing a less guarded side of him and laughter bubbles up freely from your throat.
As your laughter transitions into a soft chuckle, you turn to face him. The last rays of the sunset bathe Azriel in a warm, golden light that illuminates his features, casting a glow that outlines him like an ethereal halo. His eyes that were filled with affection and a hint of amusement, meet yours. In that instant something profound shifts within you.
It feels as if a key has turned, unlocking something wondrous and overwhelming. The mating bond, which has been delicately weaving its way through each of your interactions, now clicks into place with perfect clarity. The sensation is electrifying yet profoundly comforting. Resonating through your very being.
Your breath catches and your heart races—not just from the shock of the realization but from the undeniable rightness that surges through you. Azriel, noticing the subtle transformation in your expression halts his story. A flicker of concern crossing his face.
"Are you okay?" he asks with his voice tinged with worry. The humor from his story now replaced by attentive care.
A mix of joy and amazement washes over you as you feel a comforting swirl of his shadows around your feet. Like curious creatures affirming this new connection. "Azriel, I think... I think the mating bond just…," you trailed off unsure how to continue. Your voice was filled with awe. The realization brings a new depth to your smile as you meet his gaze which is now shimmering with a mixture of relief and happiness.
"That's what I've been feeling," Azriel breathes out, a tender smile spreading across his face as he steps closer. He reaches out gently brushing a stray lock of hair from your face. "I've been waiting, hoping you would feel it too when the time was right."
Taking his hand, you feel a warmth that goes beyond physical touch. A connection that seeps into the depths of your soul. "I’m glad it’s you," you say quietly, sincerely, the words flowing easily.
Azriel’s other hand comes up to gently cup your cheek. His touch feather light. "And I’m honored it’s you," he responds. His gaze locked with yours. The world around you—the city lights, the soft whisper of the evening breeze—fades into a gentle backdrop to the profound connection you share.
In this moment with Azriel’s shadows dancing around, playful, and protective, you feel a sense of completeness. A promise of endless possibilities. Together, bonded not just by fate but by a mutual understanding you know that whatever the future holds you'll get to navigate it side by side.
As the realization of the mating bond settles between you, Azriel's shadows seem to take on a life of their own. They swirled around you both with a newfound enthusiasm. The delicate tendrils of darkness weave around your legs and occasionally brush against your hands as if testing and reinforcing the connection that has just been acknowledged.
Azriel watches with a tender amusement as his shadows interact with you, their movements more animated than usual. "They seem to have taken quite a liking to you," he comments. His voice warm with affection and a hint of pride. "They're not usually this... attentive."
As the shadows continue their gentle dance around you, one particularly daring tendril snakes up your arm, its touch lighter than a feather. You can't help but laugh. The sound echoing softly in the quiet of the evening. With a delighted grin you reach out to trace the path of the shadow with your fingertips, marveling at the cool, tingling sensation it leaves on your skin.
Azriel continues watching with an affectionate roll of his eyes accompanying his half-smirk. "You're going to spoil them," he teases. His tone light but full of warmth.
Encouraged by your positive reaction another shadow playfully darts forward and mimics the motion of a gentle kiss on your cheek. You giggle with joy, your hand touching the spot in mock surprise and then you're both laughing. A shared moment of joy and wonder at the peculiar yet endearing behavior of the shadows.
Azriel shakes his head, but his eyes shine with amusement. "Now you've done it. They're going to expect this king of attention all the time," he jokes as the shadows around him swirled in what you swear could be shadowy laughter.
"You know, I think I'm okay with that," you respond still smiling as you watch the shadows retreat slightly, as if bashful from the attention. "They're quite charming. Just like someone else I know." You glance up at Azriel with a playful smirk. Enjoying the light flush that colors his cheeks at the compliment.
The shadows, seemingly pleased with their role in this light-hearted exchange, settle more calmly around you both like a contented sigh after a bout of laughter. The protective circle they form feels like a gentle embrace not just from Azriel but from all parts of him.
As the laughter fades Azriel's expression turns tender, his gaze softening as he searches your face looking for any sign of unease. "But seriously," he says with his voice low and earnest, "are you really okay?" His concern is palpable. The bond between you making every emotion, every nuance of feeling that much more intense and meaningful.
You meet his gaze feeling a surge of warmth from his sincere concern. Smiling gently, you nod, the tranquility of the moment filling you with a profound sense of peace. "I really am okay. For the first time in a long time," you admit. Your voice steady and sure. The confession feels like a significant acknowledgment of the journey you've been on and the role Azriel, and his shadows, have played in it.
Azriel's smile in response is radiant. A look of relief and happiness that brightens his entire demeanor. "That's all I’ve ever wanted to hear," he murmurs. His voice soft with emotion. He stands closer, his hand gently squeezing yours. "Come on, love," he whispers with a twinkle in his eyes. "Let's fly home."
With a graceful motion Azriel unfurls his expansive wings, the dark feathers shimmering under the starlight. The sight never fails to take your breath away. He wraps an arm securely around your waist, his touch reassuring. "Ready?" he asks. His voice a low rumble filled with excitement and anticipation.
With a nod you cling to him, feeling the rush of air as he leaps into the sky. Velaris unfolds below you. It was a gorgeous tapestry of lights and shadows. The wind was cool and exhilarating against your face. Flying with Azriel, held close against his chest, the city sprawling beneath you is an experience that feels as if it straddles the line between dream and reality.
The flight is swift and smooth. The quiet only broken by the rushing wind and the steady beat of Azriel's powerful wings. The world seems to shrink away, leaving only the two of you soaring through the night sky. As the House of Wind comes into view Azriel’s descent is gentle, a reminder of his skill and care for you.
You land softly on the balcony, the cool night breeze playing around you, still wrapped in the warmth of his embrace. Just as you touch down the laughter and lively banter of the Inner Circle reach your ears from inside.
As you and Azriel step through the grand doors of the House of Wind the lively atmosphere of the Inner Circle greets you. Cassian's booming voice fills the foyer as he spots you descending from the balcony. "Finally decided to join us, huh? Or were you two plotting to take over Velaris with your love-struck scheming?" he teases, winking not so conspicuously.
Rhysand joins in with a sly grin. His eyes twinkling with mischief. "I think they were busy weaving shadows and starlight. Look how they landed, like a pair of night-blooming flowers." His voice was laden with humor and draws a round of chuckles from around the room.
Feyre, Nesta, and Elain watch from the side, their expressions varying degrees of amusement and affection. Feyre's eyes meet yours and she gives you an approving nod. Her smile suggesting she understands more than she lets on. Nesta’s smirk is more enigmatic but supportive while Elain’s gentle gaze is filled with romantic delight at the scene unfolding before her.
Amid the teasing Azriel keeps you close, his arm remaining protectively around your waist. The warmth of his embrace reassures you. His presence a calming force against the good-natured ribbing. "Ignore them," he murmurs softly against your ear, just loud enough for you to hear over the laughter. His voice is rich with affection and a hint of playfulness that only you are privy to.
"You make it sound so easy," you whisper back, unable to suppress a smile feeling buoyed by the love filling the room.
As the evening progresses the light banter continues, with everyone occasionally casting teasing glances your way, making playful comments about the inseparable duo you and Azriel have become. Despite the jests there’s an underlying current of genuine happiness for you both. A celebration of the deepening bond that everyone seems to recognize and respect.
The night unfolds with shared stories, laughter, and an occasional clinking of glasses in toasts, not just to the night but to new beginnings and magical connections. As you stand by Azriel’s side, surrounded by friends who are more like family. You feel a profound sense of belonging and happiness. Here in the heart of the Night Court, under the watchful eyes of the stars and the soft glow of the city, you are home—not just in place, but in heart, bound by love, laughter, and the eternal dance of shadows and light.
Permanent Taglist (Message me or comment below if you want to be added!) : @loving-and-dreaming @kmc1989 @memeorydotcom @matisse556 @buckylov3r @taygrls @ah-blossom @hardballoonlove @rosiahills22 @djs8891 @kenn-spencerswifey @guacam011y @illisea @il0vebeingdelulu @hiireadstuff @avada-kedavra-bitch-187
#azriel x you#azriel#azriel shadowsinger#azriel acotar#acotar#azriel spymaster#azriel x reader#azriel x oc#azriel x y/n#azriel fanfic#azriel fluff#azriel fic#azriel angst#azriel acosf#azriel one shot#azriel imagine#azriel oneshot#azriel shadowsinger x reader#azriel shadowsinger x you#azriel supremacy#azriel acomaf#azriel blurb#feyre archeron#feyre x sister reader#feyre twin sister#rhysand#rhys acotar#a court of thorns and roses#a court of mist and fury#shadowsinger x reader
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— 𝖌𝖔𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖙𝖔𝖔 𝖋𝖆𝖗
they physically hurt you during an argument , dazai , chuuya , akutagawa , angst , requested
As the fight spiraled into chaos, every word seemed like a jagged shard, cutting both of you open. Dazai stood before you, his expression carefully constructed, a facade of calm that only amplified the storm raging in the room. His words were like knives, precise and cold, but you had learned how to endure them. Or so you thought.
“You think you’re better than this?” he snapped, his voice laced with something darker, more desperate. “Better than me? You don’t even know what you’ve gotten yourself into. You’re so naïve it’s pathetic.”
“Maybe I am,” you shot back, voice trembling but resolute. “But at least I feel something real, Dazai. At least I’m not hiding behind masks and games like you.”
For a moment, the room fell silent, the weight of your words settling between you. His jaw clenched, his hands twitching at his sides. You could see it—the storm breaking through his carefully curated demeanor, the anger and fear he so often buried rising to the surface.
And then, like a thunderclap, it happened.
While his hands moved faster than his mind, shoving you back, his frustration snapped into action. The force wasn’t calculated—it never was—but it sent you stumbling into the wall with a sickening thud. Pain shot up your back, sharp and immediate, and for a moment, the air was knocked clean out of your lungs.
Defeating, merely silence followed.
As if they were still grappling with the weight of what they’d done, his outstretched hands trembled. His eyes widened, the usual nonchalance stripped away to reveal something raw, something terrified.
Hoarse, he whispered your name, his voice cracking under the weight of it all. You pressed a hand to your ribs, wincing as you steadied yourself against the wall. The ache in your side was sharp, but it was nothing compared to the heaviness in your chest, the realization that this—this person, this moment—was no longer safe.
“Don’t touch me,” you managed, your voice trembling, not with anger but with something more fragile.
“I didn’t mean to,” The man said, his words tumbling out in a desperate rush. “I swear, I didn’t mean—”
“You didn’t mean it?” you interrupted, the words bitter as they left your mouth. “You never mean it, Dazai. But that doesn’t stop it from happening, does it?”
Dazai‘s hands fell to his sides, his shoulders slumping as if the weight of your words physically struck him. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. For once, Dazai Osamu—the man who always had a plan, a clever retort, a way out—was speechless.
“I can’t keep doing this,” you said, your voice breaking. “I can’t keep forgiving you for the ways you hurt me, for the ways you make me doubt myself. Love isn’t supposed to feel like this.”
In a matter of seconds his expression shattered then, the mask slipping completely. He looked like a man on the edge of something vast and terrible, his usual bravado gone, replaced by a desperation that made your heart ache.
“You can’t leave me,” he whispered, the words barely audible, as if saying them louder might break him entirely. “Please. I don’t know how to do this without you.”
Tears spilling down your cheeks as you stepped toward the door, you whispered: “You don’t know how to love, Dazai.”
He sank to his knees then, his head bowing low as if he were trying to disappear into the floor. “I’m sorry,” he choked out, his voice raw and broken. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to be anything but this. But I love you. God, I love you.”
You froze at the door, your hand gripping the handle so tightly your knuckles turned white. For a moment, you thought about turning back, about kneeling down beside him and telling him that love could be enough, that it could save you both.
But it couldn’t.
“I love you too,” you said quietly, your voice shaking. “But sometimes, love isn’t enough to fix the damage.”
Opening the door, you stepped out into the cold night, the sound of it closing behind you echoing like a gunshot.
Dazai stayed where he was, his body trembling, his hands clutching at the floor as if it were the only solid thing left in his world. The apartment was silent now, save for the sound of his ragged breathing.
He stayed there for hours, alone in the dark, his mind replaying every moment, every mistake, every crack that had led to this. And when the sun rose, spilling light into the room, it illuminated nothing but the hollow emptiness he’d tried so hard to avoid.
In the end, he realized, it wasn’t you he’d been trying to save. It was himself. And now, he had lost both.
,
The argument had begun as a flicker of irritation, something small enough that it could have been smothered if either of you had tried. But neither of you did. It grew, feeding on unspoken frustrations, on misunderstandings too deeply buried to untangle in the heat of the moment.
Lit only by the glow of the streetlights filtering through the blinds, the apartment was dim. Chuuya stood in the middle of the room, his fists clenched at his sides, his chest rising and falling with shallow, ragged breaths. His hat had been tossed carelessly onto the couch, his hair disheveled from running his hands through it in frustration.
“I’m trying to keep you safe!” he shouted, his voice reverberating off the walls.
“You’re not listening to me!” you snapped back, your own voice trembling with the weight of the argument. “You never listen, Chuuya! You think you can decide everything for me, like I don’t have a say in my own life!”
He turned sharply, his blue eyes blazing with a mix of anger and desperation. “You don’t understand what it’s like out there! You don’t know what these people are capable of! I’m doing this for you!”
“For me?” You let out a bitter laugh, tears stinging your eyes. “You’re doing this because you can’t let go of your own fears! You’re so used to fighting everyone else’s battles that you can’t see I’m not the enemy!”
Chuuya’s jaw tightened, the muscles in his face twitching as he tried to rein in the storm inside him. But the storm was relentless, and it spilled out before he could stop it.
“You don’t get it,” he growled, his voice low and dangerous. “You have no idea what it’s like to carry this kind of weight—to know that one wrong move could mean losing the only person you—”
Though he cut himself off, his voice faltering, the damage was already done. The silence that followed was heavy, oppressive, and it pressed down on both of you like a tangible force.
Taking a step back, your hands trembled at your sides. “I’m not a child, Chuuya. I don’t need you to control every part of my life. I just need you to trust me.”
“Trust you?” His voice rose again, sharp and cutting. “How am I supposed to trust you when you keep putting yourself in danger? Do you think I can just stand by and watch you get hurt?”
As his anger filled every corner, the room felt like it was shrinking, the walls closing in. He moved closer, his movements sharp and unsteady, and before you could step away, his hand shot out and grabbed your wrist.
The grip wasn’t meant to hurt—it was meant to stop you, to hold you in place, to make you listen. But it was too tight, too rough, and the heat of his frustration burned through his touch.
“Chuuya,” you said softly, your voice shaking. “Let go.”
But he didn’t. His fingers tightened slightly, his knuckles white as his grip mirrored the storm raging inside him. He was too far gone, too consumed by his own emotions to realize what he was doing.
“Why can’t you just—” His voice cracked, and he stopped, his words hanging in the air like broken glass.
You tried to pull away, but his grip held firm, and panic began to rise in your chest. Memories you had buried deep began to surface, unbidden and cruel.
A voice from your past, cold and unyielding. “You think you can just walk away? You’ll never be free of this. Never.”
Colliding with the past in a whirlwind of fear and pain, the room around you blurred. Your breaths came faster, shallow and uneven, and the tears you had been holding back spilled over, streaming down your cheeks.
“Chuuya,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “Please.”
The sound of your voice—cracked, pleading—broke through the fog of his anger. His eyes widened, and for a moment, he froze, as though realizing for the first time what he was doing.
“Shit,” he muttered, his voice barely audible. He released your wrist as though it had burned him, stepping back as if the distance could erase the moment.
Though you cradled your wrist against your chest, your body trembling as you tried to steady your breathing, the fear lingered, a shadow that refused to be banished.
Softly, he called out your name, his voice thick with regret. “I—fuck, I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t—”
Yet, you didn’t answer. You couldn’t. The words caught in your throat, strangled by the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you.
Chuuya’s hands hovered in the air, unsure whether to reach for you or keep his distance. His eyes, usually so fierce and determined, were filled with something you had never seen before—fear.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, the words barely audible. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
Bluntly, you looked up at him then, your eyes filled with tears, and for the first time, he saw the crack in your armor—the vulnerability you had always tried so hard to hide. And it broke him.
He sank to his knees in front of you, his head bowed, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “I’m a fucking idiot,” he muttered, his voice trembling. “I never wanted to hurt you. I—” He stopped, his words failing him, and he let out a shaky breath.
“I don’t know how to do this,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know how to love someone without breaking them.”
As you watched him, your heart ached at the sight of him so utterly wrecked. And despite everything, despite the fear and the pain, you found yourself reaching out, your hand brushing against his cheek.
Looking up at you then, his eyes were filled with anguish, and for a moment, the storm between you seemed to quiet.
“Chuuya,” you said softly, your voice still trembling. “We can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep—”
“I know,” he said quickly, cutting you off. “I know, and I swear, I’ll do better. I’ll be better. Just—don’t walk away. Please.”
The desperation in his voice broke something inside you, and you nodded, though you weren’t sure if it was forgiveness or hope or something in between.
But as he pulled you into his arms, his grip careful and gentle this time, you couldn’t help but wonder if the cracks in your relationship were too deep to mend. And in the quiet of the room, as the storm finally subsided, you both realized that love wasn’t always enough to fix what had already been broken.
,
Always being harsh, Akutagawa’s words were sharp enough to wound, his presence suffocating like a shadow that never left your side. He wasn’t kind, not in the way others might be, but he cared in his own jagged, brutal way—protecting you with the same ferocity he used to destroy. You were his tether, his calm amidst the storm of his life in the Mafia, the one person who softened the edges of his wrath. But even tethers could fray, and that day on the battlefield, everything unraveled.
Unraveling so, the fight was chaos, the kind of chaos Akutagawa thrived in. His Rashoumon tore through enemies like paper, his focus deadly, precise. You stood at his side, as you always did, fighting with everything you had to survive in a world that rarely spared you kindness. But the enemy was relentless, and the tide of the battle began to shift.
“Stay back!” he barked, his voice cutting through the noise. His tone was sharp, impatient, but beneath it lay something unspoken—a thread of fear he refused to acknowledge.
“I can handle this!” you shot back, your determination blazing in your eyes.
Yet Akutagawa’s patience, already worn thin by the heat of battle, snapped. “You’re a liability,” he snarled, Rashoumon lashing out in a violent arc, meant to clear the way and shield you from the enemy closing in.
He miscalculated.
Instead, the tendrils of his power struck you, slicing through flesh and bone, sending you crumpling to the ground with a scream that cut through the battlefield like a blade. Blood pooled beneath you, stark against the dirt, and Akutagawa froze, the world narrowing to the sight of your broken body lying in the wreckage of his mistake.
Afterwards, the fight ended in a blur, your enemies retreating as the full weight of his actions crashed down on him. He dropped to his knees beside you, his hands trembling as he reached out, unsure if he even had the right to touch you now. “Stay awake,” he ordered, his voice unsteady, the fear breaking through. “Don’t you dare close your eyes.”
Coughing weakly, blood stained your lips as you looked up at him, pain and betrayal flickering in your gaze. “You… you did this,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.
Akutagawa’s chest tightened, his breath catching as the truth of your words settled over him like a noose. He did this. To you. To the one person he swore to protect above all else.
The weeks that followed were a blur of pain and silence. You survived, but the scars—both visible and invisible—ran deep. You couldn’t look at him the same way, flinching when he raised his voice, shrinking away when his hands moved too quickly.
Trying to fix it in his own way— he muttered cold apologies under his breath, offers to train you harder so you wouldn’t need his protection, promises he didn’t know how to keep. But nothing worked. The damage was done.
One night, the tension broke.
“You don’t trust me anymore,” he said, his voice low but laced with a bitterness that cut through the room.
Slowly, you turned to him, your eyes tired, your body still healing from wounds he had inflicted. “How could I?” you replied, your voice trembling. “You’re supposed to protect me, Ryuunosuke. Not—” Your voice broke, and you looked away, unable to finish.
For a moment, he said nothing, his jaw clenched so tightly it hurt. Then, with a voice that was quieter than you’d ever heard, he said, “I know.”
And he did know. He knew the pain he caused, the fear that lingered in your eyes whenever you looked at him now. He knew he had crossed a line he could never uncross.
Knowing didn’t make it easier. It didn’t make the silence between you any less deafening, or the nights spent alone any less cold. It didn’t stop him from replaying that moment over and over in his mind, the sight of you bleeding because of him seared into his memory like a brand.
He still loved you, but love wasn’t enough to undo what he had done. It wasn’t enough to erase the fear in your eyes or the distance growing between you. And now, as he stood in the shadows, watching you from afar as you tried to rebuild yourself, he wondered if it would have been kinder to let you go entirely.
Yet, Akutagawa didn’t know kindness. He only knew how to hold on, even when it hurt. Even when it was the last thing he deserved.
<3
#bsd imagines#bungou stray dogs#chuuya imagines#chuuya x you#dazai x you#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#bungou stray dogs chuuya#chuuya nakahara#chuuya x reader#chuuya angst#chuuya fanfic#15 chuuya#dazai angst#dazai fanfic#dazai imagines#dazai x reader#bungou stray dogs dazai#bsd angst#bsd x reader#bsd fanfic#bsd#akutagawa x you#bsd akutagawa#bungou stray dogs x you#bungo stray dogs x reader#bungou stray dogs x reader#akutagawa x reader#akutagawa ryuunosuke#bungo stray dogs dazai
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Honestly, I love how the plotlines with Tingyun and Wonweek in 2.7 retroactively help explain why the consecration of the Harmony affected Aventurine the way it did in 2.1.
"The consecration has weird side effects as a result of the power of the Harmony" was honestly a fine explanation in and of itself, but it's cool to get a bit more detail about why Aventurine had those encounters with his "past" and "future" selves. The memoria-induced fracturing/dissociation that Sunday describes when talking about himself and Fugue is extremely similar to what we see with Aventurine in 2.1, both in the tangible effects and the factors that make it possible.
Both Wonweek and the convocation of Tingyuns are identified as the result of a special try-not-to-laugh candy that elicits uncontrollable laughter from those who consume it. (Penaconian consumables infused with specific emotions are something the story has leaned into since our excursion with Sparkle-as-Sampo in 2.0, so it doesn't surprise me at all that a product like this would exist.)
Notably, the candy doesn't have the fracturing side effect on everyone: it works as expected for March and the Trailblazer, and presumably most of the other Dreamchasers who participate in the challenge. Sunday identifies two specific factors that caused the atypical effects for him and Fugue: vulnerable/sensitive mental state, and a fragile sense of self.
Tingyun/Fugue fractured into dozens of memory fragments -- including a younger self embodying her childhood innocence and early memories on the Xianzhou, in much the same vein as Kakavasha for Aventurine.
Sunday, meanwhile, describes Wonweek as "another possibility of me": one that embodies traits he dislikes about himself, similar to the manifestation of Aventurine's "future." Wonweek and Future Aventurine are both externalizations of negative self-talk, giving Sunday and Aventurine a sounding board to express (and push back against) their own internalized self-loathing.
It's also interesting to me that Sunday identifies tuning as the solution for such fractures, adding credence to the idea that the Harmony's consecration (which itself appears to be a form of tuning), could disrupt a fragile psyche in much the same way Sunday can use his abilities to bring someone's mind back into alignment.
To be fair, I don't necessarily think Sunday anticipated this particular side effect of the consecration on Aventurine's mind. The events of Double Indemnity highlight the extent to which Sunday misjudged him by Aventurine's own design, falling for the facade that Aventurine fed him.
Aventurine is resilient... but he is also brittle, as evidenced by Acheron's voice line about him:
This lack of a strong inner self is something that Aventurine tries desperately to distract others from seeing, through the shallow and showy outer layers he presents to the world. But Sunday describes tuning as something that actively prevents people from being able to hide their inner self (very fitting for the Harmony, an Aeon that fundamentally blurs the boundaries between the Self and the Other).
To me, this adds another layer of significance to the presence of Kakavasha and Future Aventurine: they're there because Aventurine can't hide from them while under the Harmony's influence. He's so used to lying to himself about his true intentions that his childhood innocence and his nihilism have to physically manifest in front of him in order to be heard.
Tl;dr Aventurine's experiences under the effect of the Harmony in 2.1 make even more sense in hindsight, and I love the retroactive layers that 2.7 gives to his story arc.
#honkai star rail spoilers#hsr spoilers#aventurine#sunday#hsr sunday#tingyun#fugue#honkai star rail#character analysis#meta
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— hardest of hearts
“darling heart, I loved you from the start. but you'll never know what a fool I've been.” ‹‹ — florence + the machine, hardest of hearts.
pairing: steve harrington x f!reader
summary: jealousy has never been your strongest suit. you realize that even better when you see steve and nancy in close proximity. based on this prompt by @dumplingsjinson (wc: 1.6k+)
warnings: just absolute fluff, maybe tiny angst, and making out, they kinda go hard at it for no reason, this is just an excuse for me to ramble abt how pretty steve is bye.
author's note: ohh if u want pls listen to hardest of hearts by florence + the machine when u r reading!! luv that song <3 and again. ignore the corny summary and i didnt proof-read and wrote this shitty thing in 30 mins yada yada!!! based on this amazing request i got from my lolo bean angel @lofaewrites i hope u like it MWAHHHHH!!!!
pleaseeee reblog to support me. ty!! mwah.
Jealousy.
That ugly feeling clawed at your insides, consuming you whole, bringing out the worst in you and you knew it, yet you couldn't help it. Finding yourself powerless against its caging grip.
The venomous glare you threw at the two of them surely had to burn off Steve's back, but they remained rooted to their spot, talking about whatever the fuck, while Nancy lingered far too close to him for your liking.
Her curls danced in the dim light, swaying with each infectious giggle that escaped her lips at his jokes. The sight of her head thrown back in mirth only made your blood boil more with it.
You wondered what the fuck was so funny that he felt compelled to whisper to her, the sight of them so close to each other had your entire body feeling hot, an ugly feeling consuming you whole. The fragile porcelain filled with alcohol threatened to break under your harsh grip.
And of course, you couldn't help the way you act entirely unreasonable when he comes back to the booth.
Cold, a total raging bitch, your mouth feeling hot the more you snapped at him. And he knew, he knew the exact reason for your attitude. Yet, he couldn't help but find it adorable. How your lips downturn as you scoff at him, just because you're jealous.
You storm out to catch your breath and get some cold air, his footsteps fall into sync behind you, because he can see right through the facade you desperately clung to, see the way your doe eyes flash hurt, thick lashes hiding your disappointment behind the anger.
You lean against the brick wall of the bar, the chilly Hawkins air seeping through the fabric of your coat, almost enough to calm you down before you can hear Steve's hesitant footsteps as he closes the distance between you.
He's making you so pathetic.
The concern in his eyes mirrors the ache in your chest, gaze searching yours for answers you were reluctant to give.
"Is something wrong?" He asked, tone merely honey-glazed.
He didn't let you answer, instead following up with a, "Or are you just... jealous?" That stupid smirk lingers on his lips, making your insides gooey, while you wore that scowl as your mask.
"What?" You scoffed, playing dumb, as you crossed your arms against your chest, almost to protect your feelings.
"Oh my god, you so are," he teases, that damned smirk stretching his mouth into a full grin, reaching all the way to his eyes, causing them to crinkle, so pretty that you are melting all over.
"Shut up, Harrington," you murmur, heat spreading across your cheeks, gaze unable to avoid him. Pools of warm honey-toned brown eyes drawing you in so effortlessly.
"God, do you still not believe me?" He shakes his head with a slight huff, shoulders slumping in defeat.
You know exactly what he's talking about, with the way his brows quirk up, and he tugs at his silky hair in frustration.
Steve told you he liked you. A couple of days ago. But you just scoffed and huffed, rolling your eyes in his face.
You couldn't—more so—you just didn't want to believe it. You thought it was too good to be true.
Couldn't believe that he would want you when he used to be so hung up on Nancy. Blame it on your insecurities, or your attachment issues. Or blame it on the fact that you were scared. So fucking scared.
And you'd rather avoid all of it than have him break your heart. It's unreasonable, but to your idiotic brain, you're being logical.
"H—how do you expect me to when you end up doing shit like this?" Your tone is barely above a whisper, suddenly insecure like you're exposing yourself bare to him. You just need him to convince you. And he knows. He finally knows.
"Like what? Talking to Nancy?" He scoffs, like it's ridiculous. To him it is. That you even can believe the idea that he still thinks about her, when all that invades his mind is you.
"Like talking to your ex, the same ex you were hung up on," you reply back bitterly, words burning your tongue as they barely roll off your lips.
He leans in closer to you, almost to make a point. "Were, like you said." He spits in frustration, "past fucking tense. I moved on, so long ago. You know that."
"And she just said hi, as a friend. Nothing more," he enunciates it carefully and would explain that to you all goddamn night, if it meant it would wash your worries away, he meant every word he said to you. He didn't care about Nancy. It was you. And from now on, it was only going to be you.
You were desperate, so desperate to not show him your true feelings, but of course he could see right through you. "Maybe, maybe she did, but-"
He groans, not even caring that he's interrupting you. "There's no fucking buts, sweetheart, I told you, told you that I fucking liked you, that I wanted you, why do you insist on trying to push me away?"
You gulp when you notice how he has you caged against the textured walls, your back hitting the bricks with a soft thud, his breath flushing your already heated cheeks. "I don't—"
"What part of ‘I want you, and only you’ do you not understand?” His words are harsh, not in a rude way, only to get it through your thick skull. Show you how much you actually mean to him.
Rough hands end at your side, that annoying strand of hair falling to his thick lashes, making him look so pretty that you just want his hot mouth on yours. "There is no one else for me but you, and even you can't fucking change my mind, yeah?"
"I don't give a fuck about any other girl unless they're you." Words fall like silk from his lips, and they are heavenly to your ears, blinking quickly to process all of it.
And he enjoys it, sees the way your gaze glimmers, cheeks adorned with a sudden warmth as you give him those doe-eyes that make him want to crumble into you, fully.
You nod dumbfoundedly, almost to let him know that you finally believe him, and he gives you a soft chuckle, raising his brows "Are you going to let me take you out on that date?"
His caramel hues swirl hypnotizingly as they gaze into you, so alluring paired with the striking moles all over his cheek and neck, making you wanna kiss him all over. "Mhmm," you hardly mumble, too focused on taking all of him in.
He reaches up to touch your cheek, fingers brushing against your skin like feather, soft but making you flustered nonetheless, the faint scent of his woodsy perfume invading your senses. "Come on, use your words, honey," he coaxes, fingers leaving goosebumps in its wake as you can feel him all over.
"Y-yeah," you faintly mumble, not so confident in your voice when he looks at you all hungrily.
His mouth slightly curves into a bigger grin, leaning in as he whispers "Atta girl," almost making you whimper at his low tone.
You lean closer, urging his mouth to yours. He groans when you sweep your thumb over his jaw, knees giving out at the sound. Soft candy lips brush against yours, so agonizingly slow that the heat unfurls all over your body.
He takes your slight shock as a moment to slide his tongue inside, a sigh of relief escaping your velvety lips. He tastes like beer, and something sweet, kissing you with so much heat that you can't help the way you melt into him, his touch burning everywhere it makes contact with.
He brings you closer, as if that's even possible, bodies pressed against each other, your breasts flush against his hard chest, and you can almost feel his heart hammering inside, rhythm matching yours.
His cherry-pout mouth suckles at your bottom lip, slight stubble brushes against your chin, and fuck, you want him, so much so that you let out a low whine.
You want to continue. Desire runs through your body like wildfire, burning him with you, but once you hear the honks of the busy street, the realization of where the fuck the two of you are hits you, and only then you break the kiss.
Standing outside of a bar, kissing like two horny idiots, a pretty giggle escapes your lips when you meet his dreamy gaze again, his hues resembling mostly black now, both sets of pupils blown wide. Passion radiates from both of you.
"Was that enough to prove to you that I really, really, really like you, sweetheart?" He asks with a pretty grin, lips all puffy and smudged with your gloss, earning more hearty giggles and a nod from you.
"Or do you need to kiss me in front of her? Get all territorial?" He asks with a slight tilt of his head, brows raised all teasingly, that smirk returning like it ever left, making you huff.
You elbow him playfully before you fist his shirt, bringing him in much more close proximity, again. "Shut up and kiss me again, Harrington."
#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington imagines#steve harrington fics#steve harrington blurbs#steve harrington drabbles#steve harrington x y/n
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Aalto
Getting chomped on
By reader.
Whos short asf (4'10")
Please and thank you
I got flashbanged by a nsfw bot post when i opened the obey me community *sob*
“You Can’t Just Bite People… Right?”
Summary: Aalto prides himself on being untouchable—until you, a 4'10" menace, decide that his arm looks too biteable to resist. What starts as a simple chomp quickly escalates into a battle of wits, mist, and absolute absurdity. Aalto may have the power to vanish into the fog, but can he escape you?
Tags: Crackfic, Comedy, Fluff, Reader is a Gremlin™, Aalto is Confused but Intrigued, Biting (as a Love Language 🫶), Mist Powers but Make It Useless Against a Gremlin, Found Family Vibes (if you squint).
Warnings: Mild Violence (playful biting), Aalto's dignity is under attack, Reader is a menace to society, No serious plot, just unhinged nonsense.
A/N: this is why I left that community 💀🙏

Aalto was used to people trying to get a rise out of him. He was a walking enigma, after all, and the sheer curiosity people had about him was practically an art form. But there was one thing—just one thing—that he had never quite prepared himself for. And that... was you.
You, at a towering 4'10", had a very particular habit.
"Do you really have to do that?" Aalto asked, an eyebrow raised as he leaned back in his chair, his sunglasses perched on his nose. His usual unflappable demeanor was a bit more fragile than usual as you hovered near his side, eyeing his arm with such intensity it was borderline creepy.
"Oh, I absolutely do," you said, a sly grin spreading across your face as you eyed the flesh of his arm. "Come here, Aalto. I’m gonna bite you."
Aalto blinked, clearly confused, though his cool facade remained. "What are you...?"
Chomp.
Before he could finish his sentence, your teeth found their target, sinking into his forearm with alarming precision.
“Ow!” Aalto yelped, jerking his arm away, but you were quicker, clinging to his limb like a playful kitten who just discovered a new toy.
"You've got such a nice arm, Aalto," you said sweetly, ignoring his flustered attempts to remove you. "I just couldn't help myself."
The resonant fog around him swirled in sudden confusion, his mist powers fluctuating as your bite caught him off guard. Normally, Aalto was unpredictable, able to vanish into the mist in a second, but this? This was new territory.
"Seriously?! I'm literally a powerful Information Broker, and you're biting me like a feral gremlin!" he snapped, his usual suave charm dissolving into an incredulous laugh. You were literally hanging off of him, and your small stature made it even more ridiculous.
"Hey, hey, I told you I’d bite you," you teased, keeping your grip tight. "You're just too irresistible with all your mysterious charm, Aalto. And your arm is like... really biteable. It's giving me 'chomp it' vibes."
“I’m the one giving you the vibes?” He sounded utterly flabbergasted, clearly struggling with how he should handle this situation. He reached for his bone flute but hesitated—he wasn't sure if summoning a misty fog to hide from you was the best way to handle things. This was... different.
“You don’t understand,” you said between your soft bites. “This is what you get for always being so mysterious. I'm hungry for secrets, Aalto! And... maybe a little snack too.”
Aalto’s attempt to wiggle free resulted in him stumbling backward, colliding with the nearest wall. You, on the other hand, stayed attached like a determined dog with a favorite chew toy. The unexpected absurdity of the situation didn’t escape Aalto, but it did leave him momentarily speechless.
The mist around him thinned, his control slipping as your antics continued. He sighed, adjusting his sunglasses with an exaggerated movement. "You really are something else... You can’t just... bite me whenever you feel like it, can you?"
You finally let go, but not before giving his arm a final playful nibble. "I mean... that depends on if you keep being irresistible or not."
Aalto’s expression was a mixture of disbelief and... something else. Maybe a little bit of appreciation for your sheer audacity. He gave a small, bemused smile, though the perplexed look in his eyes didn't leave. "Unbelievable."
“Well,” you grinned, dusting yourself off. “It’s all part of the deal, right?”
Aalto’s eye twitched slightly, but before he could form a retort, you had already disappeared into the mist he'd casually summoned. And though he couldn’t see you, he had a strong feeling that, no matter how far away you were, his arm was probably still going to be your next snack.
"Unbelievable..." Aalto muttered to himself, walking off, his mist swirling around him, even more unpredictable than before.

#x reader#wuwa x reader#wuwa x you#wuwa x y/n#wuthering waves x reader#wuthering waves x you#wuthering waves x y/n#aalto x reader#aalto x you#aalto x y/n#aalto wuthering waves#aalto wuwa
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