#// putting arlos ending here

[musicforastylesrestaurant]

I Saw Mummy Kissing Santa Claus.

masterlist || ask me anything <3

my blurb masterlist is here!

authors note - i feel like this idea is really cute and just had to be written down:)

word count - 1.4k

in which, when you and harry are putting the christmas presents under the tree on christmas eve, with harry dressed up in a santa costume just for his own novelty, and share a little moment to themselves, unbeknownst to them that there four year old son arlo, was watching the whole time.

00:13am. 25th December, 2023.

On this whimsical Christmas Eve, the air is infused with the scent of pine and anticipation as you and your husband Harry, donned in a jolly Santa suit purely for his own delight, tiptoe around the cozy living room.

The soft glow of twinkling lights casts a warm ambiance, enveloping the space in a serene holiday magic.

Upstairs in the master bed, your precious four-year-old, Arlo, is lost in dreams of sugarplums and toy-filled wonderlands.

As his dreams weave their gentle tapestry, you and Harry share mischievous smiles, conspirators in the clandestine mission to deliver presents beneath the twinkling Christmas tree.

In the quietude of the night, laughter bubbles between you and Harry, a shared joy that needs no reason. Silently, you exchange glances, finding amusement in the simple joy of being together on this enchanting night. The muffled laughter dances in the air, a secret language spoken in the hushed tones of love.

The presents, adorned with festive paper and ribbons, find their places beneath the tree like treasures awaiting discovery. With each shared giggle, you and Harry weave invisible threads of happiness, wrapping the room in the warmth of familial love.

The task at hand becomes a delightful game of stealth and joy. Harry, in his Santa suit, moves with a festive grace, and you follow suit, your hearts synchronized in the shared delight of creating magic for Arlo. Laughter, sweet and spontaneous, becomes the soundtrack to this festive ballet.

Beside the twinkling evergreen, Arlo's offerings for Santa and his reindeer beckon: a plate adorned with mince pies and a bunch of crisp carrot for Rudolph.

Harry, ever the good sport in his Santa attire, merrily takes a bite of the sweet, spiced pie, savoring the festive flavor with genuine delight.

Meanwhile, you opt for the crunchy carrots, enjoying their crisp freshness. The contrast of flavours mirrors the yuletide spirit, blending the sweetness of the mince pies with the earthy simplicity of the carrots.

The pièce de résistance, however, is the offering of milk. Harry, with a theatrical flourish, lifts the glass to his lips, only to be met with a cringe as the chilly liquid meets his tongue. The milk, left out for Santa's refreshment, bears the unmistakable chill of a night spent waiting. The internal wince is evident on Harry's face, though he valiantly soldiers on, determined not to let a bit of cold milk dampen the festive mood.

As you stand in the hushed glow of the Christmas tree, satisfied smiles exchanged with Harry, a sense of completion washes over you. The presents are arranged, the festive treats enjoyed, and the world outside is wrapped in a blanket of silent snow. It feels like the perfect moment to retire to bed, where dreams of sugarplums can join the night's symphony.

But just as you entertain the idea of slipping under the warm covers, Harry, in his Santa suit, wraps his arms around your waist with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. His lips press gentle kisses against your neck, creating a trail of warmth that contrasts the cool air of the room. You can't help but laugh, a delighted sound that dances in the quietude.

"M’not quite ready f’bed yet," he murmurs against your neck, his breath sending shivers down your spine. "If I go now, I'll just get kicked in the back by ‘Lo, and I'll end up with no quilt."

The unexpected declaration sends a ripple of laughter through you, and you playfully turn around in his embrace. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you meet his gaze with a playful glint in your eyes.

"Well, we can't have that, can we?" you tease, your lips curving into a smile.

In the gentle dance of shared laughter and lingering gazes, you both revel in the magic of the moment. The Christmas lights cast a soft glow on Harry's face, accentuating the warmth in his eyes. His lips meet yours in a brief but tender kiss, a sweet punctuation to the unspoken joy that fills the room.

"M’suppose bedtime can wait a bit longer," he concedes, his arms tightening around you. "After all, who could resist the allure f’a quiet, magical Christmas night?"

In the gentle glow, Harry's eyes meet yours with a magnetic pull, and the world outside seems to vanish. His arms envelop you, creating an intimate cocoon that shields you from the outside world. The soft strains of holiday tunes linger, providing a subtle backdrop to the unspoken language of desire that fills the room.

The air is thick with a sweet tension as Harry's lips find yours in a series of passionate kisses, each one deepening the connection between you. Both of you smiling into each others mouths, your hands find the peach fuzz at the back of head neck, whilst his find habitat on the groove of your bum.

The room transforms into a haven of shared intimacy, where the only language spoken is that of desire, and every touch is a brushstroke in the masterpiece of this moment.

The heat of the moment intensifies as you lose yourselves in the magnetic pull of each other. The world outside continues its hushed existence, oblivious to the crescendo of emotions echoing within the room.

The bed, usually shared with the comforting presence of his parents, felt empty, and a sense of curiosity tugged at his tiny heart. Arlo, with his baby blanket in tow, embarked on a solo journey down the hallway.

The plush carpet beneath his little feet muffled his steps as he approached the top of the stairs. The house was still cloaked in the tranquillity of the evening, and Arlo, with wide eyes and tousled hair, peered down into the living room below.

A strange sound caught his attention, and he instinctively clutched his blanket a bit tighter.

At the bottom of the stairs, a tableau unfolded. His mother, adorned in her pajamas, was locked in an embrace with Santa Claus—or so it seemed. Arlo's innocent gaze widened, his imagination dancing with the possibility that Santa himself had arrived early to share a moment with his mom.

The festive glow of the Christmas tree provided an ethereal backdrop to the unexpected scene.

Unaware that the figure beneath the Santa suit was, in fact, his dad, Harry, Arlo continued to observe with a mixture of awe and confusion.

08:21am. 25th December, 2023.

The Christmas morning sun spilled into the kitchen, casting a golden hue on the day's festivities. As you walked in with Arlo nestled on your hip, the air buzzed with the promise of holiday magic.

However, a quiet tension lingered as Arlo, unusually reserved, gazed around the room with a mix of curiosity and uncertainty.

Harry, donned in a festive apron, stood at the stove, the sizzle of eggs providing a comforting backdrop to the scene. Arlo's silence persisted, his little mind undoubtedly preoccupied with the mysterious encounter from the previous night.

As you settled into the kitchen routine, the atmosphere held a subtle undercurrent of curiosity. Arlo's wide eyes shifted between you and Harry, his silence becoming a palpable presence in the room.

The bewilderment in his gaze hinted at the lingering confusion from witnessing the unexpected kiss with Santa Claus.

With each passing moment, the unspoken question hung in the air. Harry, flipping eggs with a practised ease, stole a glance at Arlo, sensing the inner turmoil of his young son. The parental instinct to reassure tugged at your heart as you navigated the morning, your steps mindful of the unspoken query hanging in the air.

After the hearty Christmas breakfast, Arlo, still harbouring the mystery from the previous night, toddled over to Harry.

His little arms reached up, a silent request to be lifted. Harry, ever the doting dad, scooped him up onto his hip, planting a cascade of playful kisses on Arlo's cheek. The room echoed with the sounds of affectionate giggles.

As Arlo settled into Harry's arms, he seemed to hesitate for a moment, glancing around to ensure that you were nowhere in sight. Satisfied that the conversation would be just between him and his dad, Arlo took a deep breath, his eyes serious.

"I have something to tell you, Daddy," Arlo announced in a hushed voice, leaning in as if sharing a grand secret.

Harry, playfully intrigued, raised an eyebrow and encouraged him to spill the beans.

With an air of importance, Arlo whispered, "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus."

The words hung in the air, and a mischievous sparkle lit up his eyes. Harry's reaction, however, was unexpected.

A loud, hearty laugh erupted from Harry's chest, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Arlo, momentarily perplexed, couldn't help but join in the infectious laughter. Harry, wiping away an imaginary tear, managed to compose himself and leaned in with mock seriousness.

Harry brought his face closer to his mini-me and brought his voice to a quiet mock whisper.

“Tell m’more.”

[greynatomy]

Missed Moment

Scarlett Johansson x Fem!Reader

This is the last part of ‘Dear Scarlett…’ It took a while, but it’s finally finished. I’m not great at writing endings at all, but I hope the one I wrote wasn’t too bad.

I’m in my feels and felt like writing some angst.

Warning: tiny mention of suicide

Let me know what you think!

If you’ve liked what I’ve put out so far, think about supporting me and my work. Link is in my pinned masterpost.

-grey

masterlist

———

“Oh my god.” Scarlett broke down, crying. So many thoughts are running through her head. Guilt, something she felt for the first time towards you.

She looks back at Arlo, sleeping peacefully in his carrier. “Arlo Prince.” She whispered to herself. “You have your Mommy’s eyes.” Tears stream down her face.

She goes to the bag, looking through all the folders. She sees so many picture of the two of you. She sees the CD’s. One in particular had ‘Arlo’s Birth’ written on it.

“Colin, can you grab my laptop.” It wasn’t a question, he complies. She puts the CD in, a video plays.

“Alright, Mommy, are you ready to see your little boy.” She hears someone say, not recognizing the voice. You say a small ‘yeah’ looking on the verge of tears. “Time to push.”

There’s a cut in the video, the next thing Scarlett sees is you crying from relief and exhaustion and the wails of a baby.

“Here you go Mommy. A very healthy baby boy.” A nurse puts the baby on your chest. “Do you have a name for him?”

It’s silent for a while.

“Arlo. Arlo Prince Johansson.”

“Johansson? Like the actress?”

You hesitate. “Yeah.”

“Are you her secret wife or something and she couldn’t be seen with you?” The nurse jokes. Scarlett sees your jaw clench.

“That would be crazy.”

The video ends. She quickly puts on another disk. Another video plays, this one she sees that Arlo is about two months old.

“It’s currently ten in the morning and mister Arlo Prince is having some tummy time.” The camera flips over to show your face. “I feel like he’s growing up so fast. You gotta stop growing so fast for Mommy. Oh, Mommy is gonna miss my little boy so much.”

Tearing her eyes away from the laptop, she grabs another disk and plays it.

“Arlo is currently still asleep, but I am letting him sleep in because today is a very special day. It is his first birthday and as you can see in front of me, I am going to be baking him a cake. It’s currently three in the morning, the oven is preheating, and I am trying ti be as quiet as possible.”

*skip a couple of minutes*

“The cake is now in the oven. I put a timer on my phone so the oven won’t be beeping and waking my baby up. Uh, what else can I say. Well, this is the only time that I’ll get to celebrate little Arlo’s birthday so I am going all out. I’m not as strong as I used to be so it’s been difficult, but you know? I gotta push through. I’m the only one he has right now, but hopefully if you’re watching this, Scarlett, then he’s with you right now. Give him some memorable birthdays because he won’t remember this one.”

Closing the laptop, Scarlett takes some time to catch her breath, wiping all her tears with the sleeve of her jacket.

Shuffling through all the different disks, she comes across one with ‘Goodbye’ written on it. Taking the disk out of the casing, she inserts it into her laptop.

Your face is shown on the screen, the same as the other videos, but this one looks different. You skin was paler and far more skinnier.

“Hey. Um, this video would be my shortest one and also my last one. Anne, over there…” You said, turning the camera around to said person, then back to yourself. “… is helping pack all of Arlo’s clothes and toys and things. Well more like she’s doing all the packing while I’m stuck in this chair finishing up all the paperwork.” You put the camera down somewhere that’s pointed at you so you can film hands free. “This is all to make sure that it’s clear I want you to have full custody and if you don’t accept then he would go into the system, which I really hope you accept. I’m putting all the CD’s and paperwork into a bag together you’ll find it all there.”

You cut yourself off with a hard cough, making Scarlett wince from how painful it sounds.

“Now these ones are for me. These are for my assisted suicide. Everything has just been so difficult. I get tired very easily and I can’t do it anymore. I can’t even take care of Arlo anymore. And I’m done suffering.

So, uhm, this is my very last video. I don’t even know what more I could say. I have nothing else to say, just questions to answers I’d never get the answer to.

Do you ever think about what our life would be if we worked out? If you didn’t fall out of love with me? ‘Cause I do. All the time. I’ve always wondered if there was anything I could’ve done differently to make you stay. To prevent you from drifting away. But I guess that’s life. People grow apart. Just hoped that that wouldn’t have happened to us y’know, but what can I do?

I’ve followed and kept up with your life, no matter how stalker-ish that sounds, and I’m just glad to see how happy and content you’ve been, you are. Just keep living how you’re living, you’ll just have an extra person added.”

She sees you look somewhere off camera.

“I’ve gotta feed our son now. Uh, well. I guess this is goodbye. I don’t know If i’ll pick this camera again by the time of my the, uh, time comes.

Take care of our boy. I know you will. I’ve always known how great of a mom you’d be. Make sure he doesn’t forget me and how much I love him. That’s my only wish, my last one.

I love you Scarlett. I always will. I always said that I’d love you until the end of time and, well, my time’s ended.

Goodbye, darling.”

Closing the laptop, Scarlett picks Arlo up from his carrier.

“Hey Arlo, I’m your Mama.” She cradles hun to her chest, holding him close. “Mommy’s gone away for a long while, but I promise to make sure you never forget her.”

Arlo lets out a small cry.

“Mommy loves you. She loves us so much.”

[jessicaloons]

Chapter 44:

Sometimes walking out is the one thing, that will find you the right thing

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"Do you really think it was a good idea? Taking him with us?" I asked, while Arlo spread out in my lap, yawning.

"He will be fine! Everyone will look out for him when we're in the car..." Charles replied, scratching our little baby's head "Look at him! Could you leave this cutie behind? No, you couldn't!"

"No, I couldn't, you're right." I chuckled, leaning back in my seat.

Since the moment I walked through the door and Arlo appeared in my peripheral I was done for. He followed me everywhere I go, always tilting his head adorably when I ignored him for a moment.

"He's a mama's boy..." Charles sighed, and I looked at him.

"He loves his daddy just as much..."

"Absolutely not true! But its okay, he's your baby boy..." he leaned back as well and as if on cue, Arlo scrambled up over the armrest and console, making himself comfortable rolled up in Charles lap "Oh well, never mind, he's my baby now." he chuckled, gently rubbing the little puppy's back.

"He's our baby!" I insisted patting Arlos head before I put on my headphones, watching how Charles leaned a little down, cooing at the little fur baby.

I started a movie and by the end of it I saw that Charles fell asleep, his seat reclined and Arlo rolled up on his chest, slumbering as well. Carefully I grabbed my phone out of my bag and took some pictures, knowing that Charles would love them, then I reclined my seat as well and put on some music, trying to sleep a little myself. I watched Charles and Arlo for a while when I must’ve fallen asleep.

"Shhh… it’s okay. We‘re okay. Just…" I heard Charles mumbling next to me, shifting around "All good, Arlo."

I slowly opened my eyes and saw Charles sitting, a wet stain on his T-Shirt, Arlo halfway wrapped up in his hoodie. I sat up immediately and they both flinched.

"What happened?" I asked and both looked at me.

"There was a little accident. All under control. We just need a moment in the bathroom." he got up, searching through his backpack "See? I used to have a spare shirt with me because of Liam in the past, now because of Arlo. All good." he walked away and I looked over his seat, where everything looked dry and clean.

After a couple of minutes Charles returned with Arlo, the puppy with slightly wet fur, wrapped up in a towel and Charles with a new shirt on, he handed me Arlo right as a flight attendant appeared, handing him a plastic bag.

"Here you go Mr. Leclerc." she smiled at him and then at me and Arlo "If you need anything else, just call me."

"Thank you." Charles nodded, while he packed his wet t-shirt and hoodie into the plastic bag, stuffing it back into his backpack.

"I guess such a long flight was a little too much…" I said quietly, stroking Arlo’s back.

"Maybe a little. But it’s okay. We’re almost there."

"And then it’s welcome to Miami, Arlo."

"There's a new family member since China? The little one is here as well?" Natalie asked and I smiled.

"Yep, his first big trip with us. We won’t take Arlo with us to every race, well out of Europe at least. But he's still in the phase where he has to get used to us so we didn't want to leave him at our family to take care of him..." I smiled and she nodded.

"Arlo was your gift from Charles for your second anniversary?"

"Yeah, he's crazy! After last year surprising me with tickets for the Era's Tour, even meeting Taylor, I was like, he can't top that... and then I come home from the supermarket and this little fur baby appeared out of nowhere and yeah... crazy!" I chuckled

"Maybe he's your good luck charm then for this weekend!" Natalie laughed.

"That would be amazing, we'll see I guess." I waved goodbye and followed Julie back to our hospitality, where Arlo was playing on the lawn with Charles and Liam, the moment he saw me he bolted and Charles got up immediately but then relaxed when he saw that Arlo was running towards me.

"Hey my little boy..." I cooed and scooped him up, smothering him with kisses before I sat him back down, walking to Charles and Liam.

"For one second I thought he would run off... you scared me, you little rascal!" Charles bent down, scratching his head "But of course, he only saw you and we're long forgotten..."

"Oh don't be so dramatic!" I laughed, watching Arlo playing with Liam.

"I'm not dramatic, I'm honest. But it's okay, I understand him." he laughed pulling me to his side, kissing my temple.

"Ewww don't kiss. That's eww..." Liam scrunched his nose and began to giggle hysterical when Charles picked him up, throwing him over his shoulder and tickling his sides "No stop! That's unfair... Charlie..."

"You want me to give you some kisses? Huh? Bubba?" Charles laughed and I joined in.

"Yeah, come on, give your favourite auntie a kiss."

"Nooooo... girls have cooties!" the moment Charles sat him down he ran off, Arlo following him.

"I don't have cooties!" I pouted a little and Charles laughed, pecking my lips.

"Nope, you don't have cooties... but even if you would have, I still would kiss you." he chuckled and I rolled my eyes playfully, when I saw a young boy approaching.

"You've got a visitor." I smiled at the boy, waving him over and he shyly stepped next to Charles, who turned around and smiled at him.

"Oh wow, look at you!" Charles said, gesturing to the boys Ferrari shirt, cap and shoes.

"Hi Charles." the little one said nervously, and Charles kneeled down "Could you- umm could you sign my car and cap? Please? If it's okay?"

"Of course! Do you have a pen?" he asked, and the boy nodded, turning a little to his mother, who opened her purse, but then searched frantically for the pen.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, I must've lost it!" she said, looking at her son, whose shoulders slumped a little "I'm really sorry, Micah."

"How about we take a picture together?" Charles asked, and the little fan nodded "Great... now a big smile for the camera!" he said and the mother of the boy took a picture, right when Arlo jumped into the frame.

I walked back into the Audi hospitality looking for my bag.

"Do you need anything?" Julie asked and I nodded.

"Do you know where my bag is? I need a sharpie for Charles." I said.

"Oh yeah, wait." she walked in the back and pulled my bag out "Here you go. Oh wow, you have a lot of sharpies?" she chuckled when I pulled one out of the zipper bag.

"I'm with Charles, do you know how often people ask for an autograph and then their pen doesn't work? Or they don't even have one? Yeah no, their sad faces? Nope. So, I carry around some myself, just in case." I shrugged and she smiled.

"That's cute!"

"Girlfriend duties, I guess." I walked outside, where the little boy petted Arlo's head

"Here." I handed Charles the sharpie and Micah made big eyes.

"Looks like you're getting that autograph after all!" Charles smiled, taking the car from the floor, signing it "On your cap as well? Yeah? Alright."

"Thank you so much! Can we-... umm can we maybe take a picture with you too, Lizzie?" Micah looked at me and I smiled, kneeling down next to Charles, with enough space for Micah to stand in between us "Thank you!" he smiled and after one last pat on Arlos head he and his mum walked off, waving us goodbye.

"You made his day!" I smiled at Charles who cocked an eyebrow.

"Me? Who brought out a pen so I can sign his car and cap?

You know how many fans day you already have made with carrying a pen with you all the time?"

"I mean, I'm with you. I have to be prepared for your fans!"

"Our fans, cara mia."

I rolled my eyes and laughed. His fans. Most definitely his fans.

"I don't understand why they didn't manage to bring your car back to the pits and then get it ready for you to drive for at least half an hour? 20 minutes?" I asked, my legs dangling in the pool.

"I don't know. I made a mistake and that's what you get for it.

It's like this." Charles scratched Arlo's ears and I sighed.

Miami didn't start the way we hoped it would. After Charles spin in FP1, making him miss the entire session and my engine problems in SQ2, making me start the sprint from P15, I hoped that the Saturday would be better for us. And for Charles it turned around with a second place in the sprint race and a P2 in qualifying. Not for me though. The car didn't feel good the entire sprint race and in Q1 my worst nightmare came true and I had to stop the car, setting no time, making me start from P20 in the race. I made it from P15 to P9 in the sprint, but from P20? Not a single point this weekend. Another bad weekend, right when Sainz was in talks with Audi about my seat in the team. On the way back to our hotel I looked out the window, deep in thoughts when I felt Charles knuckles brushing gently over my cheek.

"Cara mia?" he asked and I nodded slowly "I know it's looking bad right now, but you're an amazing driver! Overtaking in tight corners is one of your best treats! Don't give up already... the race is long and you can make up a lot of positions, okay?"

"I have to finish ahead of Sainz at every race. I have to show Audi that I'm the better driver." I breathed out, making Arlo look up from my lap, tilting his head

"And you will. It was their car that ruined your weekend so far! Not you! You didn't make any mistakes!" Charles insisted

"I know, but it's a scary feeling, not to know if I have a seat next year or not."

"Audi would be stupid, if they would choose him over you." he scratched Arlos head "Come on, little one, cheer up your mummy."

"You already did that, Arlo." I kissed his head and he stretched "Ouhhh big stretch!"

"He's so cute!" Charles chuckled a little and I nodded.

"You topped Taylor. I honestly didn't think it was possible, but here we are!"

"I mean, just buying you the tons of different versions of her new album would've been boring..."

"No! That was already enough!" I shook my head and smiled at him "You're too good to me!"

"Only the best for you, cara mia." he took my hand in his and kissed the back of it "And now stop frowning and worrying, you'll be amazing tomorrow!"

"If you say so."

"You'll see, I have a feeling that we'll have a good race. You and I."

Charles POV:

"Swap positions with Sainz." I couldn't believe my ears.

Swapping already? He was only faster because he was in my DRS range.

"Why?"

"Sainz is faster."

"But I don't un-..."

"We will swap back if he can't catch up to Verstappen." I heard that before. And what happened was, we did not swap back. I lost a potential race win. But this time it was different. Fred was here. He made the final decisions. I swallowed hard. Letting Sainz by. I focused on my tyres. My lap times. My pace. But after 10 laps, I was still in his DRS range, having definitely more pace than him.

"I'm destroying my tires like this, guys. We need to swap back."

"Copy. We are checking."

"No, there is nothing to check. We need to swap back." I was getting frustrated "Xavi?"

No answer. I knew what that mean. Sainz refused to swap back.

"Xavi? Tell them that I have pace. I can catch Max."

Radio silence. Once again fooled by my own team. Why was I this stupid? I kept pushing and pushing to overtake Sainz by myself but he left me no space. He was ruthless. And the inevitable happened.

"I need to box. My tyres are fucked. I have no grip at all."

"Copy." at least now Xavi reacted "And box for hards, next lap."

"No. Not next lap. NOW!" I was getting furious.

I was sick of it. Again, I did what my team asked from me and again I would be the one losing.

"We will box next lap." his words were final.

"Fantastic." I spat out.

I was almost blinded by rage. I did what was asked of me, although it didn't make any sense and here we were again. I was fooled again. After I had my new tyres, I stopped listening at all to what Xavi said. I drove the way I thought it was right, ignoring his input. At one point I managed to get Sainz behind me, he was not able to go my pace and I made sure it would stay this way, pushing as hard as I could go. I had Oscar in front of me, then Checo. It was a long way up to P3 but when I parked my car and got out I congratulated Lando for his first win and then went straight to my weighing. Not to my team. I know it wasn’t moat of them’s fault, but I felt betrayed. I had good pace. I was managing well. I was getting closer to Max. But they ruined my chances of trying to fight with him.

"Hey mate." Max said when I sat my helmet down, wiping my face with a towel "Amazing for Lando, right?"

"Yeah. I’m happy for him." I tried to sound cheerful. Tried to not show how furious I was "Do you know where Lizzie ended up?" I looked at him but he shook his head and I sighed.

"Why didn’t you ask your engineer?"

"I forgot." I lied.

"Then ask her herself." he nodded towards someone behind me and I turned around.

Just a moment later she pressed her warm and soft body against mine and I felt all my anger and frustration leaving me.

"I’m so sorry, Charles… Pete told me what they asked from you, how they messed up your race…" she whispered in my ear and I took a deep breath, inhaling her scent "Stop smelling me, I’m all sweaty and disgusting."

"Oh stop…" I chuckled, kissing the side of her head "How was your race? I didn’t ask Xavi where you finished? I was ignoring him…"

"I don’t know how I did it, but I managed to make it up to P6…" she began and then let out a surprised squeak when I lifted her up, spinning her around "Charles!"

"P20 to P6? Fucking hell, Lizzie! You’re brilliant, you know that?" I was so proud of her "What an amazing race!" I sat her back down and kissed her, not caring for the cameras flashing, the people cheering, not even the surprised gasp she let out.

"Go get your trophy…" she whispered, cheeks flushed, pushing me towards Max before she disappeared in the crowd.

"Oh lover boy, you’re so down bad for her…" he laughed and I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah I am. I mean look at her? Look what she’s doing?" I shrugged and Max nodded.

"No, I totally get it."

"So, little Lando is a race winner now." I said, taking a bottle of water and sitting down.

"Yeah baby I am!" Lando cheered as he walked through the door, going for some water himself, before plopping down in the chair next to me "That safety car was your guys doom."

"Maybe, maybe not." I replied and Max nodded along, watching the race highlights.

"They made you swap with Carlos?" he looked at me and I followed his look on the screen "And he refused to swap back then or…?"

"I don’t know. We’ll see later at the debrief I guess…" I said, trying to sound calm although I was anything but it.

I was putting on a brave smile. Waving as the crowd was cheering for us. Spraying Lando and Max with champagne. Smiled for the cameras. Then I left. Getting into the golf cart that would bring me back to the hospitality to get prepared for the media pen and press conference.

"Directly to the media pen, if that’s possible?" I asked the driver and he nodded. I didn’t want to go back to my team. Not yet. So the media pen was the only place I could hide for now. All questions were about the swapping of our positions, the not swapping back, how I was met with silence when I asked why this decision was made. I just smiled, said it all would be discussed at the race debrief. Lizzie walked in, talking with Mia and both looked relieved when they spotted me, walking over.

"Where the fuck were you?" Lizzie looked at me with wide eyes.

"Didn’t want to go back to the team…"

"You could at least tell me that? Did you say something to the press already?" Mia sighed.

"I did, sorry, but I said nothing that would make us look bad, don’t worry." I reassured her and she nodded.

"I’m sorry about what happened…"

"Yeah, me too. It’s like this…" I replied and Lizzie rolled her eyes next to her "Can we wait at the press centre? I don’t want to go back to the team…"

"Umm- yeah. Sure." Mia nodded and I looked at Lizzie.

"See you later, cara mia." I kissed her cheek but she held my hand "What?"

"Your team fucked up today, okay? Not you. You did amazing. You fought back and made it even onto the podium… with the input they were giving you, you wouldn’t make it up onto P3, okay? That was you. You alone. Don’t blame yourself… please." she looked at me, her eyes soft and pleading.

"I know. It was out of my hands today." I nodded and she smiled a little, pecking my lips.

"Good. Pick me up later? Arlo is probably missing us like crazy already…"

"I’ll text you."

"I never saw you this quiet at a press conference…" Mia said as we slowly walked back to the hospitality.

"I didn’t want to say something I might regret." I replied, sighing when I spotted the big, prancing horse "Let’s get this over with…"

"It’ll be okay, come on now." she smiled and we walked inside, where we were met with silence, everyone looking up from what they were doing, glancing at us.

"Charles…" Andrea walked over, handing me my bag with my bracelets and watch.

"Thanks mate."

"I’m sorry." he whispered and I nodded, putting my watch back on "I brought your bag and stuff down from your room… I figured you want to leave as fast as possible."

"Thank you, Andrea." I took the bag from him and walked to the quiet hallway with the bathrooms, locking myself in to one of them, quickly changing into jeans and Ferrari shirt. I laced my shoes when there was a knock on my door "One minute." I squashed my race suit, fireproofs and boots into the bag and put my RayBans on, unlocking the door.

"Fred wants to see you." Andrea said and I scoffed.

"Now? Can’t he say whatever it is at the debrief?" I handed him the bag and he shrugged his shoulders, handing me my phone, pass and car keys.

"I don’t know. He’s waiting at his office…"

"Alright. Thanks." I walked up the stairs, feeling a lot of eyes on me but I didn’t care. I was mad. That was no secret. I knocked once and opened the door when I heard Fred.

"Charles… come in, come in." he looked older than usually. Exhausted.

"You wanted to speak with me?"

"Yes. Charles, I know you’re not happy with the race today…" he began.

"Damn right. Not even 7 laps in and you already wanted me to swap positions… telling me we would swap back if Sainz wouldn’t catch up to Max, which he didn’t do, so when I had more pace again and said we need to switch back? Nothing. Xavi ignored me." I blurted out.

"Just like you ignored him in the end?" Fred raised his eyebrows.

"Wouldn’t I do that, I wouldn’t have ended up on the podium. So yeah. I ignored him."

"I understand Charles, I do. But you’re not alone on this team… we had reasons to believe that Carlos might be a little faster than you, so we had to give it a go. You have not all the input we have at the pit wall."

"And I understand that, but the race had barely started. I had to build up my pace before anything else, and as soon as I had it, we should’ve swapped back, like it was told to me! But we didn’t! I fucked up my tyres!" I was getting frustrated again.

"I know Charles. And it wasn’t right from us to not swap back. But Carlos…"

"I don’t care what Carlos said. Or what he did. He was slower. End of the story. That’s all that matters. He was slower. I was faster. I should’ve been allowed to swap back immediately when I asked for it and maybe I could’ve caught Max. We’ll never know."

"We told Carlos to swap back. But he said he can extract more from the car."

"Yeah? He said that too in the past. And that costed me a win in Silverstone. And maybe it costed me a win today as well…"

"Charles, you are both my drivers and I need to equally make sure that both of you can extract every ounce of performance. And if he says he can go the pace and push more, I have to let him try. Carlos has his own driving style on track, you have yours, but at the end of the day I have to make sure that you both don’t interfere with each other and have to make decisions you might not like, but they benefit the team."

"And did it benefit the team today? Did it benefit the team in China?" I asked him and he wiped his brows.

"No. But you have to understand-…"

"Why can he drive like he wants to, not giving a shit about me, the team, but as soon as I’m slightly doing the same, I’m the one to blame?"

"No one blames you! We just need to make sure that we are all on the same page for this season, Carlos is part of our team. Our family. We have to look out for each other and so when he steps over the line-…"

"It’s tolerated? He can do whatever the fuck he wants? Is that it what you’re telling me?" I was seething.

"Charles! It’s not-…"

"No. I’m done. I was promised that it would change. I was promised that now that Mattia is gone and I signed a long term deal with the team that I’m the number 1. The future. But still I get treated like shit. Still my races get compromised. Australia? China? Today? No, Fred, I signed because I believe in this team. In you. And in myself. But not like this. I want to be world champion with Ferrari more than anything else. But if this team doesn’t treat me like they want the same, I maybe need to find a new team." the words were out before I could stop them. They were true. Every single one. But still. I swallowed hard, Fred looking like I just punched him straight in the guts. I walked out of his office. Down the stairs. Out of the hospitality, a bunch of reporters already waiting. But I shook my head and walked past them. Not reacting to any of their questions. I walked straight into the Audi hospitality where Felix looked at me, shaking his head.

"A shame Charles. A real shame. I’m sorry!" he said and I nodded slightly "They should’ve listened to you."

"Something they tend not to do for some reason…" Lizzie said bitterly when she appeared next to me "Let’s get out of here, come on. Let’s go home."

"Are you sure? You don’t have to-…" I began but Felix patted my back.

"No. It’s good. You can go." he smiled a little and I nodded.

"Thanks Felix, I really appreciate it." I watched Lizzie walking back into the hospitality and a minute later she returned, an overly exciting Arlo in her arms "Hey my little boy. Come here." Lizzie handed him over and I cradled him close to my chest. He snuggled right into me, licking my face and my bad mood was almost gone.

"Come on. Let’s get you both home…" Lizzie smiled and we walked to the parking lots, where a bunch of fans were waiting, Arlo saw the many people and hid his face in my chest.

"Guys, can you leave us a little space? He’s a little scared…" I smiled and thankfully the crowd took a step back "Let’s get you in the car little one." I cooed at Arlo, sitting him down on my seat, before I turned back to the fans, Lizzie already writing autographs and taking selfies. I did the same and after a couple of minutes there was only a little girl and her father left, talking to Lizzie about the race. I opened the door for Arlo who jumped out, running straight to Lizzie.

"Hey my little one…" she cooed, kneeling down, her eyebrows scrunching together, a little scowl on her face, but it was gone after a second and she smiled again "Say hi to Sarah, Arlo." the young girl kneeled down as well, carefully sratching Arlos head.

"He’s so cute!" she smiled and Lizzie nodded, although not as enthusiastic as usual when it was about Arlo.

"He really is. Charles gave him to me for our second anniversary!" I smiled a little when she looked up and Sarah looked at her dad.

"Oh I know that look…" he chuckled.

"I want a puppy too, daddy."

"Puppies are a lot of work, you know? It’s not just all sunshine and rainbows… it’s a big responsibility, taking care of a little one." Lizzie explained and the girl nodded.

"Maybe when I’m older?" she looked at her father and he nodded.

"Yeah. Then we can discuss again." he looked at Lizzie, mouthing thank you "Come on now Sarah, I’m sure Lizzie and Charles need to relax now, after the race."

"Okay…" she got up and scratched Arlo’s head one last time before she looked at me "Bye Charles."

"Bye Sarah!" I smiled at her and she turned to Lizzie.

"Bye Lizzie!" she said and Lizzie hugged her.

"Bye Sarah!" Lizzie got up, waving the girl and her dad off "She was the cutest."

"Are you okay?" I asked as we walked back to the car.

"Hmm?"

"You looked like you’re in pain there for a minute?" I mustered her face, every little movement.

"Yeah, it’s nothing. Just a headache." she sat down, Arlo jumping on her lap, then I closed the door, rounding the car "Come on, let’s get out of here."

"Lizzie… you know that I can tell when you’re lying?" I looked at her pointedly.

"Okay, okay! God! I think I’m getting a migraine… it was pretty bad this morning already, and it’s only getting worse…" she rolled her eyes and I sighed "Can we now please go back to the hotel where I can take some painkillers and go to bed?"

"Yeah…" I looked her over and decided to not pressure her anymore for now. I was sure it wasn’t just a migraine she was hiding "You would tell me if your sleep paralysis would’ve started again, right?"

"Yes. Yes, I would." she mumbled, her head leaned back against the head rest, eyes closed "But it’s not that. Please believe me."

"Okay."

"Thank you."

"You should just call him? Or go to him..." Lizzie said when she saw me pacing back and forth.

"I can't! You haven't seen his face. Lizzie I said some horrible stuff." I groaned plopping down on the sofa.

After we arrived back in our hotel room and I took a long shower, in which I thought about what I had said to Fred I felt bad. Horrible. I shouldn't have said half of what I did. It wasn't his fault that Carlos didn't swap back. Could they anticipate it? Maybe. But at the end of the day he had more pace at one point, so they of course tried to maximise our performance. Letting out all my anger and frustration on Fred wasn't fair.

"Charles?" Lizzie straddled me, cupping my cheeks "Its Fred we're talking about. He loves you. Okay? Go. Talk to him. Explain why you said what you said. He'll understand."

"And what if not?" I whispered.

"Then you still apologise and tell him that you show him on track that you believe in him and his vision for the team." she gently kissed my lips and I felt myself melt into her. I pulled her tight into me, inhaling her scent "Come on now, you can do this." she got up and pulled me with her "Go."

"Okay..." I whispered, slipping on my shoes, leaving our room, making my way towards Fred's room a floor under ours.

I stood in front of his door for some time, five minutes, ten, maybe more, when I finally found the courage and knocked on the door. Anxiously waiting for Fred to open up and as soon as the door cracked open and I saw Fred's confused face I took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it. I mean not all of it. I was just so frustrated. But I shouldn't have said that I would look for a new team. I would never. You know how much this team means to me and I'm ready to give my all for it. But I just need some reassurance every now and then, I need to know that it's not me against the rest, like it was in the seasons before a lot of times. And I know that you treat us all fair and equally. I'm sorry-..." I blurted it all out and Fred looked at me with wide eyes.

"Charles..." he began but I shook my head

"I understand that your mad at me and need some time but I really wanted you to know that I'm sorry. And I will show you that it wasn't a mistake extending my contract and…"

"Oh you silly boy stop the rambling! I'm not mad at you! Was it painful to hear that you would look for another team? Yeah, but it also made me realise how fed up you must've been over the last seasons. I'm not mad, or hurt or anything else, okay?" Fred said and I looked at him.

"You're not mad?" I asked confused.

"I'm not mad. At least not at you." he shook his head a little.

"Okay..."

"After you left I thought a lot about what you've said. There are some things that need to change. Some things might take time, but there is one thing that I will change immediately." he sounded determined and I cocked an eyebrow "Miami was Xavi's last race as your race engineer."

"Lizzie, little Arlo is with us this weekend?" Clarkson asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, in Europe we take him with us as much as we can." I replied, smiling at the picture they showed of our little fur baby.

"Will he see a win of Charles or you?"

"I mean we will try it, right? With both our cars having new upgrades? We’ll see."

"Alright, let’s open the floor for questions."

"Alba Marquez. Marca. Carlos, how are the talks with Audi progressing? Your father said in an interview that for now he’s confident about the negotiations."

Negotiations?

"I don’t want to talk about that now. It’s still early in the season and I want to focus on my current team, not on my future team." Sainz replied, smirking knowingly.

Future team?

"That sounds like we will hear soon some big news?" the reporter asked and Sainz laughed.

"Next question." he said and I swallowed hard.

Why did it sound like I already lost my seat to Sainz? I felt the bike rise up my throat, everything becoming a blurry mess. I didn’t listen to the questions, trying to calm myself down as good as possible and whenever I was asked a question, I answered in short sentences. No details. Just straight up facts. But there were too many questions about my future in Audi. Too many questions if I already thought about a plan b if I would lose my seat to Carlos. I stuttered out that I would focus on this season, and then at the end of the year I would start to think about the next one. My heart was racing. Should I start looking for a new seat already?

"Michael Hauer. Autobild. Question for Carlos. Last year there was a physical altercation between your father and Lizzie in Maranello. The official statement read that it came to a verbal disagreement that turned physical as Lizzie punched your father. You were asked multiple times what this disagreement was about. You stated it was a simple disagreement over the race a day prior in Monza. Lizzie disagreed with your father and then overreacted?" the grey haired man in the first row asked and I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes and say what really happened.

"Yes. That’s what I said and that’s what happened? What’s the question there for me?" Sainz asked and although he lied shamelessly, in all fairness, I had to agree with him, it wasn’t a question. It was more a statement.

"So you’re saying Lizzie punched your father because she had a different opinion about the race and not because your father said and I quote him here 'He, I guess he was referring to Charles, He should learn how to tame his bitch', after saying that 'She should go back in the kitchen and cook her man a meal'?" the reporter had a satisfied smile on his lips and I looked at him "The video that has been posted was without sound but as of today we have another video, from a different angle where the conversation that was being held was clearly audible. An interpreter translated the Spanish into English."

It was quiet in the room. Too quiet. The female reporters all looked at Sainz with wide eyes, some of them with an angry look on their faces. The male ones were just shocked. Then all eyes wandered to me and I felt slightly uncomfortable.

"Am I correct when I assume that you speak Spanish?" Michael Hauer asked me.

"I’m fluent in Spanish…" I replied when my phone vibrated.

"Good umm- I think that’s it for today. Good luck this weekend." Tom Clarkson ended the press conference and Sainz jumped up, leaving the stage immediately.

I checked my phone. A text from Charles. Check mate.

I walked back to the Audi hospitality, flanked by Julie and JK, as a lot of reporters were trying to get a word with me.

"No comments." Julie said for what felt like twentieth time, as I walked inside our hospitality and I already dialled Charles number, flinching when it rang behind me.

I turned around and looked at him, a slight smirk on his lips.

"What did you do?" I asked and he shrugged his shoulders.

"I didn't do anything..." he replied, and I groaned.

"Charles! That was you! I know it!"

"Did I maybe write some fan accounts who I saw posting pictures from that day with me? Asking them if they knew someone who was in that school class and maybe finding someone who filmed it? Yeah. Did it take a damn long time because they weren't allowed to take their phones inside, and they were scared of the consequences they might have to face if it comes out that they filmed? Yeah. But did I reassure them that no one will ever find out their names? That I'm the only one who knows, and it stays that way? Yep, I did." Charles smiled and I pulled him in, crashing my body into his.

"Thank you... seriously..." I whispered and he stroked my back gently.

"I told you, I won't let them get away with it? Silencing me, us, by threatening to file an official complaint at the FIA because you were there? No. This is justice. And the look on Carlos face? Priceless." he chuckled a little.

"But you send that video anonymously, right? I don't want you to be in trouble because of me!"

"I'm not stupid, cara mia. Let's see how Audi likes the way Sainz sr. was talking about you and Carlos lying."

"I honestly don't care about that. I care more about the fact that everyone knows now that I didn't just punch him for no real reason. I mean, sure, violence never is the answer, and I shouldn't have punched him in the first place, but at least now everyone knows that I punched him because he's a sexist asshole." I shrugged my shoulders a little and Charles nodded.

"He deserved that punch, sadly you were-..." he began when his phone rang and he groaned after he saw who it was "That's Sylvia. She probably wants to talk to me about this little dumpster fire she has to take care off now."

"You should go, and don't look too pleased with yourself. You have to act innocent!" I said and he rolled his eyes "I'm serious!"

"Yeah, yeah, sure... I'll act all surprised.." he pecked my lips and left, not before scratching Arlo's head, who laid on one of the armchairs, rolled together.

"Lizzie? Can we talk?" Felix waved me over and I nodded

"Looks like the Sainz family has some explaining to do..." he winked and I grinned a little "That's good. The board should think twice if they want to replace their female driver with the guy who covered for his sexist father. Doesn't look to good on them."

"Are you sure?" I asked and he nodded.

"I will talk to them after Monaco. I want to discuss your contract extension with the board."

"Thank you, Felix. Really. You have no idea how much it means to me, that you, the rest of the teams has my back like this." I hugged him and he patted my back.

"You're our driver, little one. We want you. And we fight for you. And now off you go. I have some calls to make."

"Alright. And Felix?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you for having so much faith in me."

Charles POV:

"... a disaster! Here in Imola! At home!" Sylvia was on the phone, while furiously typing away on her iPad "I don't know! No. No. Yes. Okay, talk to you later." she hung up the phone, groaning.

"What's going on?" I asked, as innocent as possible and her eyes narrowed.

"You don't know? Your girlfriend caused us a lot of trouble. Again!" she let out and I had to bite my tongue.

"What are you even talking about?"

"Haven't you seen the press conference? Where were you, by the way?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"I was waiting for Lizzie, playing with Arlo, then you called, so I came? So, what did Lizzie do?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"There's a video going viral, from Maranello last year, that day she didn't have herself under control a-..."

"You mean when Carlos' dad called her a bitch that I should tame? After telling her to go back into the kitchen to cook a meal for me? Yeah, I know what he said, Lizzie told me as you know." I looked at her pointedly.

"Well, everyone knows it now. The cat's out of the bag, Ferrari put out a false statement while one of our drivers was lying about what happened."

"Thank god that driver is not me." I chuckled and if looks could kill, I'd be dead by now.

"Do you have any idea how this looks? For the team? For Carlos?" she spat out and I shook my head

"I told you to be honest and tell the truth about what happened! I told you that Ferrari should be on the right side!

You didn't listen. You didn't care. That's what you get. You fuck around and find out." I shrugged my shoulders when Fred walked in, together with Carlos.

"Carlos, we will have to put out a statement." Sylvia looked at him and he nodded in silence "This is a disaster for the team."

"Well, the team just tried to protect their driver. Oh no wait, their drivers' father. Hmm not a good statement, sorry..." I couldn't hold back and in the corner of my eyes, I saw Fred fighting a grin "I'm sure you'll come up with something. Just like last year. And now if you excuse me. The media pen is waiting for me."

I walked out of the hospitality right into Mia, the look on her face showed me that she knew where I was coming from.

"How convenient that this clip was found and released right when it looked like Audi would really offer Carlos a seat next season..." she said, and I nodded

"What a coincidence, no?" I winked at her.

"I don't even want to know if you had anything to do with it. But just for the record, I'm happy that video was found. The hate Lizzie got afterwards? Deemed to be an emotional, overreacting girl who didn't have herself under control? That wasn't fair."

"No it wasn't. Then again, what was fair when it came to the media's perception of Lizzie? The way she was portrayed? Talked down? Insulted?" I replied.

"You're right. But as much as I hate to admit it, it doesn't look good for Ferrari." she sighed "A podium or win would help." she wiggled her eyebrows and I laughed.

"I'm on it."

"I'll take Arlo to Joris, you take care of your fans. See you later" she kissed my cheek, walking away, Arlo following her.

I took some selfies, signed caps and shirts, before I said my goodbye, going straight for the Ferrari hospitality.

"There he is, go..." Joris unclasped Arlo's leash and he ran towards me, jumping excitedly up my feet "I thought he would never stop howling!" he shook his head, when I bent down, scratching the fur balls ears "You will have to learn to love me more than these other fellas! I'll take care of you at the track!"

"Loving you more than me? Possible. More than Lizzie? You lost. Don't even try to compete... did you see how his ears peaked up, just mentioning her name... Lizzie... see! Sorry Jo, but that's a battle you'll never win." I laughed setting Arlo down, right when Andrea walked in "Let me change real quick and then I'm good to go."

I put on my race suit and boots, leaving the hospitality with Andrea, walking towards the garage, when an Italian reporter joined us.

"Charles, quick question, is it true that the reason why you and Lizzie didn't speak up and tell everyone the truth about what happened was that Ferrari threatened to file a complaint against Lizzie, for trespassing a competitors' faculties?" he asked and I contemplated answering.

I didn't want to throw Ferrari under the bus. It was my team. My home. And since Fred was here it all changed. But on the other hand, I didn't want the people to think that I just accepted what Ferrari did to Lizzie.

"Partly true. The only people who witnessed what happened were Mattia, the three Carloses, Lizzie, Joris and 1. The direct threat came unfortunately from Mattia. He was the one who asked us to stay quiet otherwise the complaint against Lizzie would be filed." I answered honestly. It was Mattia who said that. And he and Sylvia were responsible for the statement.

"Will there be any consequences for the team? For Carlos?"

"I don't know. And I honestly don't know why the whole team should face consequences for one man's decision." we arrived at the garage and he nodded

"Thank you Charles." he walked away and I sighed.

"I didn't want to throw Mattia under the bus like that, but rather him than the team…"

"He did enough damage to the team. Its only fair if he takes the blame." Andrea said and I nodded thankfully "Come on now. Today is important. We need to get you on pole."

"I'll try it."

"And that's P4. You did a good job, we knew that the track doesn't suit our car." Bryan said and I sighed.

"Yeah, I hoped the update would help a little but it's like this." I said and drove back into the pits, climbing out of the car when Lizzie walked over, a bright smile on her lips.

"That was... hot." she whispered, and I laughed "Seriously, you should do that more often."

"What can I say, sometimes I really like the dark side." I shrugged my shoulders and she laughed.

"How was it with Bryan?"

"He did a good job. It's nice to have someone who actually listens to your input for once."

"That's good. Really good." she smiled, and we walked inside for our weighing "He's fuming, I would guess..."

"His problem."

"Who are you and what have you done to my sweet Charlie bear?" she laughed, and I pinched her side.

"Sweet Charlie bear realised that he sometimes has to be selfish and not so sweet..."

She nodded and as soon as we had our receipts we went to the media pen, where Mia was waiting already.

"You know that they will ask about it. Be neutral. Not petty. And for god's sake don't be happy about it!" she said and I nodded.

"Don't worry, I got this." I laughed, ready to face the interviews were I did what Mia asked of me and when we left and made our way back to our garage she looked relived. Not like Sylvia, whose eyes shot daggers at me. But I ignored her and took my helmet from Andrea who walked by.

"What was that?" Carlos asked when I sat my helmet down.

"What?" I replied, wiping my face with a towel.

"You overtook me in fucking qualifying! I was out in Q2 because of you!" he was fuming and I took a sip from my water bottle.

"Sucks, doesn’t it? When your own teammate does that?" I winked and he was taken aback.

"Wha- that was-… that was different!" Carlos said immediately.

"You’re right, it was, because you did stuff like that and it was okay for everyone. You were even praised for it. I do stuff like that and all of a sudden I’m a bad teammate… but thankfully the drivers championship is only for one driver… and not for him and his teammate." I grabbed my helmet and left a too stunned to speak Carlos behind.

"So you think you can win?" his voice was a sneer and I turned around "The championship?"

"I know I can. I will." I smirked.

"First podium for Ferrari in Imola since Michael Schumacher’s win in 2006. Sounds fancy." Lizzie kissed my shoulder and I laughed.

"First winner for Ferrari in Imola since 2006 would sound even fancier, don’t you think?"

"Mhhh… maybe, but you can’t have it all, no? But you know what you can have? Another win in Monaco." she smiled at me, looking over the railing onto the harbour, where hundreds of yachts were trying to secure their best spot along the race track.

"We’ll see. But I would have nothing against it, that’s for sure. But first I need to get the pole."

"I have a pretty good feeling for both."

"Or maybe it’s your first win of the season?" I pulled her in my lap, nipping at her lower lip and she let out a soft moan "Lizzie Doetterer wins her first home race of the year…"

"First? So Hockenheim will be my victory as well?" she cocked an eyebrow and I nodded.

"I’d say no one on the grid knows Hockenheim the way you do. You raced there for years. Testing several cars, for several teams. Hockenheim is yours to win this year." I nodded.

"I’m just glad there is a race in Germany this year, for me to drive in. Winning it? That would be freaking amazing, not gonna lie." she whispered and I kissed her slowly "You win Monaco. I win Hockenheim. Deal?" she breathed out against my lips and I smiled.

"Deal."

Right when I pulled her into a heating kiss Arlo drew attention to himself, beginning to howl, jumping up my feet.

"Silly little rascal, come up here." I picked him up and sat him down between Lizzie and me and he happily began to litter us with kisses.

"Our little fur baby doesn’t like to be left out." Lizzie cooed at him and he tilted his head a little, basking in the attention he got from Lizzie.

"I understand him. I hate it when I’m around you but can’t constantly pull you into me, kiss you, cuddle you…" I sighed, scratching Arlos head.

"Oh come on! You do that!" she laughed.

"Not true."

"So true! You can’t keep your hands to yourself!" Lizzie said pointedly and I shrugged.

"I mean I could, but why would I want to, when it’s you I’m touching?"

"Focus on me?" I looked at Elijah and he nodded.

"People were disappointed that you were barely in the last season of DTS. So we thought it’s Monaco, it’s your home race, Lizzie’s now too, kinda. We should film not just her, but also you. I have some amazing visions of split screens, showing you both at the same time, probably doing the same thing just in different hospitalities, divided by colour, but the work remains the same…" he replied and I looked at Lizzie, cuddling Arlo.

"What do you think?"

"Sounds fun. And I agree, you didn’t have much screen time last season…" she chuckled.

"Okay… but you know we still make a lot of things together? Like now, we were heading to my mum’s hair salon, I need a haircut."

"It’s almost like a ritual, before every Monaco GP, he goes and cuts his hair." Lizzie got up, grabbing Arlo’s harness, securing it on him.

"Be as natural as possible. We just follow you around and film you." Elijah nodded and I got up, slipping on my shoes and grabbing my car keys.

"No." Lizzie said and I looked at her, confused.

"No?"

"No." she glanced at the keys and I rolled my eyes "Stop the eye rolling but if you want to drive, then we’ll not taking this car…"

"I honestly don’t know what your problem is with the 812-…"

"It’s so not you? The colour, the car, it’s just a monstrosity. It’s horrible. Daytona or Purosangue… or we’re taking my car."

"Which has the same colour like the…" I began but Lizzie scoffed.

"Don’t you dare compare my beautiful, pure alpine white with this pretentious, ugly off white of your car!"

"Daytona it is…" I chuckled and looked at the camera rolling my eyes "See what I have to deal with?" I whispered.

"Excuse me?" Lizzie looked up from securing the leash on Arlo’s harness.

"Nothing. Let’s go, Maman is waiting…"

"We’re not alone today, Maman." I said when she released me from her tight hug, going straight for Lizzie.

"I’m not blind, Charles." she scolded me a little, while pulling Lizzie close "Mon belle fille. You look beautiful today." she kissed Lizzie’s cheeks who only chuckled, her cheeks blushing a little.

"Oh come on!" she said.

"No! It’s true, look at how you smile today." Maman laughed, scratching Arlo’s head "Hello mon petit chou."

15 minutes later I sat in the chair, Maman combing my hair, chatting a little with Lizzie and answering some questions from Elijah about me and Lizzie.

"Are you als cutting Lizzie’s hair?" he asked and she nodded.

"Yeah, it started at a race weekend in Italy, our families knew each other for about a year, I think? Lizzie was a little annoyed by her hair, it was too long to be comfortably under her helmet and so she wanted to cut them off herself…"

"I was so annoyed! They were not fitting all under my balaclava!" Lizzie said and Maman nodded.

"I saw her with the scissors and discussing with Marina, her mum and before she could do any damage I said I would cut it. And even since then I was cutting her hair." she said proudly.

"So you’re the hairdresser of not one but two famous F1 drivers?" Elijah asked and I shook my head.

"Charles, dear, stop moving your head please!" Maman said gently and I laughed.

"First off, she’s the hairdresser of 3 famous drivers! She did David Coulthard’s hair in the 90s! And also, you’re so much nicer to me when there’s a camera, Maman!" I said and Lizzie punched my shoulder "Ouch! I’m just honest!"

"You’re so full of shit, don’t listen to him, Pascale is always the sweetest to our Charlie bear!" I said, looking at Elijah "Please Pascale if there is one day you have to mess up it’s today."

I looked at Lizzie in the mirror, her eyes twinkling with mischief, Maman just laughed, patting my shoulder.

"I would never do that, you know me." she smiled, right when Lizzie stepped next to her with a scissor in her hand.

"But I will." she laughed and I flinched a little "Oh the fear in your eyes. Priceless."

"We edit that out, later…" I looked at Elijah, but saw Lizzie looking at him, shaking her head.

"We’re not." she whispered and I laughed.

"Done." Maman said and I looked in the mirror. She styled my hair a little and then took off the cape "Now you look perfect again."

"And before I didn’t?" I laughed.

"You look always perfect." she replied and Lizzie scooped up Arlo, walking over.

"Arlo approves."

"That’s all that matters." I said, booping his nose.

An hour later we were back at home and I cooked pasta for everyone, while we were chatting about the upcoming days.

"Do you cook often?" Elijah asked and Lizzie chuckled.

"Yeah Charles, do you often cook for us?" she wiggled her eyebrows and I rolled my eyes a little.

"Lizzie is teaching me some easy recipes…" I said, stirring the pasta.

I mixed the sauce with the pasta, grating some Parmesan on top and turned to Lizzie.

"I think I’m done." I opened the cabinet to my left, looking for plates and she laughed.

"Plates are not in there. I set the table. You cut the bread." she smiled and I nodded.

"It smells pretty good." Diego, one of the camera guys said, sitting down.

"Yeah, if it tastes how it smells? I’m not worried!" Elijah said and I nodded carrying the pot over to the table.

As soon as everyone was sitting and had a plate full of pasta and salad in front of them

I was waiting for everyone taking their first bite.

"It’s good… the pasta is maybe a little… a little more than al dente?" Sarah, the sound lady said carefully and I tried the pasta myself.

"Not the first time we’re eating crunchy pasta, no?" Lizzie chuckled and I swallowed the really too al dente pasta down.

"Yeah but come on, that was different!" I said.

"True…" she laughed.

"What was different?" Elijah asked.

"Don’t you dare say it!" I looked at Lizzie.

"He made some pasta dish al forno… and burnt it… very crunchy." she said and they laughed.

"Hey! You said it tasted good!" I pouted a little.

"It did, it was just very crunchy!" she kissed my cheeks and I laughed.

"Thank you. But sorry guys, cooking this much pasta was a little more tricky."

"It tastes still pretty good." Diego said and everyone was nodding in agreement.

"Then I’m glad."

The next two days were filled with media duties, events and of course practice sessions on Friday, Elijah and his team following us around everywhere we were going. On Saturday morning they arrived too early and filmed us getting ready for our day ahead

"You just used my perfume…" Lizzie said when she pulled her hair into a high ponytail and I looked at the flacon.

"I have not…" but then I smelled at the bottle "Oh nooo, cara mia why does it look like mine? I don’t want to smell like you… oh now she’s giving me the death glare." I said when she left the bathroom and the camera followed her walking out.

"I didn’t know you don’t like how I smell…" her voice was quieter now, as if she was walking towards the front door.

"Are you leaving? Lizzie? Is she leaving?" I looked at Elijah, walking towards the door, right when she walked back in.

"And it looks like yours because the spray cap of mine wasn’t working and then I used your empty bottle you wanted to throw away to fill it in that one…" she put a sticker on the bottle and looked at me.

"Oh… I remember, but… didn’t the smells mix?"

"I rinsed it thoroughly…" she said, putting her bottle into her cabinet.

"Thor- thorow-fowly?" I stuttered.

"Like super clean? What’s the word? Soigneusement?"

"Got it!" I nodded grabbing the Ferrari shirt on the counter, ripping off the tag.

"You do know we have scissors in this house!" she shook her head and I laughed.

"Yeah but that way it’s faster." I shrugged and she sighed.

"Okay… Let’s go now. I don’t want to be late today." Lizzie walked out and we followed her.

"Quali day, baby." I cheered and she laughed.

"Who will get the pole today?" Elijah asked and Lizzie and I looked at each other, stepping into the elevator.

"She will."

"He will."

I laughed and Lizzie rolled her eyes.

"Aren’t you adorable." Elijah joked.

"That was a tight battle!" Lizzie looked at the replays on the tv of our last flying laps "But in the end Mr. Monaco did it."

"Mr. Monaco?" I chuckled, handing her her food.

"Prince of Monaco?" she wiggled her eyebrows.

"That title is already taken, I’m afraid." I sat down next to her, careful to not squish Arlo, who was lounging between us.

"Nope. For me you’re the real prince of Monaco." she chuckled and Arlo yawned, looking up "And you too."

"Don’t let the real real Prince hear that." I chuckled.

"I don’t think he would have a problem with that. And maybe when you win the race this time, you’ll even attend the victory dinner he held for you…"

"I told him that it was a really emotional day that I wanted to spend alone with my girlfriend." I replied and Lizzie dropped her fork into her salad "What?"

"You did not say girlfriend? Charles no one knew that we were dating back then!" she looked at me with big eyes.

"Well… the Prince knew… sorry." I said sheepishly and she laughed.

"Unbelievable!"

"Look at the bright side, he approved of you."

"What?"

"He said he always knew that one day you and I would finally admit that we belong together, he said although he never met you, he felt like he knew you, because of how much I talked about you…" I held a piece of cheese in front of Arlo’s nose and he sniffled a little before opening his mouth.

"You talked with the Prince of Monaco about me?" Lizzie asked slowly.

"Yeah… I mean, I talked with him about my life. My family. Of course I talked about you."

"Wow… now you so have to win tomorrow! I want to go to that fancy dinner!"

"Or you could win? And then it’s your dinner!" I suggested but she laughed.

"Was there a dinner for Max last year? No. Was there one for any other winner? No. It’s only for you." she rolled her eyes a little and I leaned over Arlo, gently grabbing her chin, turning her head.

"But maybe if I ask him, he’ll still host it, for my gorgeous girlfriend." I pecked her lips and she blushed slightly.

"I don’t want to break up the Leclerc 1-2…" she whispered against my lips and I chuckled.

"But cara mia, you’re a future Leclerc, no?"

Winning a race is always awesome. But winning your home race is special. It hit’s different. And when the checkered flag was waved and I won my second home GP, I screamed my lungs out. Seeing all of the principality plastered in our flag, my name, my number, even my face, was incredible. No words could describe the feeling that I had when I parked my car in the P1 spot, standing on the hood, throwing my hands up. Cheering with my team. All of them lined up, waiting for me to celebrate our win. I jumped into them, felt everyone patting my back, shoulders, helmet.

"Grande, Charles!" Arthur chanted when I managed to hug him, ruffling his hair. Next up was Fred, teary eyes, clapping excitedly.

"You’ve done it boy! What a brilliant day!" he said and hugged me, John Elkann behind him.

"Congratulations, Charles. Good job!" he said and I hugged him when Andrea was patting my shoulder, pointing behind me.

I turned around and saw Lizzie wiping her face with a towel, patting Oscar’s shoulder, congratulating him. I couldn’t do it 2022. But today I wouldn’t let this opportunity pass. I pulled my helmet off, next my balaclava and handed it Arthur, then I walked towards Lizzie and spun her around and she looked surprised for a moment. I pressed my lips on hers eagerly, gently biting her bottom lip to make her gasp. I forgot the world around us, the race. The win. Everything. It was only Lizzie and I in this moment. And when all the oxygen in our bodies was gone and we had to pull away I looked at her, pink cheeks, mouth slightly agape, eyes twinkling.

"Congrats, race winner. I’m so proud of you." she whispered.

"Congrats, Miss I wait for the last lap and the last corner to go for the tiniest gap there is and secure P2." I chuckled and her cheeks turned a shade darker.

"It was stupid. I don’t know what got into me. It’s way too narrow there. I could’ve ended Oscar’s and my race…" she rambled but I pecked her lips again.

"You saw a gap and went for it. That’s what every true racing driver would do."

"Yeah… I guess so…" she mumbled but I lifted her chin up and looked at her, saw the grin forming "You’re right. And now go. Your interview is waiting!" she pushed me towards Jenson Button and walked towards Oscar, both of them watching me, smiling and joking.

"Longest press conference of my life, I swear. Where the bell were you?" Lizzie chuckled when we walked back to the garages.

"Yeah! Lizzie and I took a nap, while waiting for you!" Oscar nodded and I held my hands up apologetically.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry! But there were so many people!" I said and Lizzie smiled.

"They all celebrated their Prince of Monaco."

"Does that make me a Prince as well?" Oscar joked and Lizzie rolled her eyes.

"Hold your horses, I didn’t even agree to this whole adoption thing, okay?" she joked and Oscar played offended.

"So I can’t call you mum? Mummy?" he laughed and Lizzie shoved him a little.

"You better not!"

"We’ll see…" he walked inside the McLaren garage "See you Dad… Mum…" and he was gone, not without laughing his ass off at Lizzie’s offended look.

"Next race I’ll push him off." she said and I laughed.

"Hey! You can’t do that to our son!" I joked and she punched my arm "Ouch… okay, okay I’ll stop! Will you be at the harbour?"

"You think I’ll miss out on the opportunity of seeing you and Fred jump in there?" she scoffed a little and I laughed.

"Then I’ll see you later, have fun with your team." I kissed her cheek and watched her walk into the Audi garage, Pete and Felix waving at me. I waved back and then walked the rest of the pit lane to the Ferrari garage, where the whole team sang Sarà perché ti amo, dancing around the table with our trophies. The moment they spotted me they erupted in loud cheers.

"There he is! Mister Monaco!" Fred laughed and I grinned "I hope you know that I was serious about us jumping into the harbour."

"Good, because I make sure that you keep your word." I chuckled a little.

"Here!" someone pushed a large bottle of champagne in my hand and I took a swig out of it, immediately frowning "Yeah it has no fizz from all the shaking and spraying."

I laughed and celebrated a little with the team when Fred grabbed me by the arm and nodded.

"It’s time. Let’s do this."

"Everyone, to the harbour!" Fabrizio shouted and it almost looked like a procession.

We stopped at the edge and I looked for Lizzie, leaning against a fencing giving me the thumbs up.

"It’s going to be cold, no?" Fred looked at me and I nodded.

"Probably, yeah." I laughed and he took a deep breath looking at me.

"See you in there!" he screamed and jumped in, I quickly followed, diving into the cold water.

"Daghe Charles!" everyone was cheering and celebrating but I only had eyes for Lizzie, smiling at me.

Fred and I splashed around for a moment and then swam back to the harbour wall, I saw an empty bottle floating in the water and grabbed it, taking it out with me. Everyone was patting our backs and I looked around for Lizzie, when I spotted her, talking with Andrea.

"Here." I handed her the empty bottle.

"What’s that?" she cocked an eyebrow, looking at the bottle.

"That bottle swam in the harbour, I thought I’ll take it out with me, would you’ve seen it, you probably would’ve asked me to jump back in." I shrugged my shoulders and her face softened.

"Oh Charles…" she pulled me in, pressing her soft, warm lips against my cold, wet ones.

When she pulled away her hair was glistening with water drops, she licked her salty lips and smiled.

"My Prince of Monaco, who cleans the ocean." she whispered and pecked my lips again.

"You love me, right?" I whispered against her lips.

"Yeah… what’s that even for a…" she began when I hugged her tight and she shuddered a little, then I took a few steps back, pulling her with me "What are you doing?" she asked when I grabbed her tight, preparing for the jump "Wha-… No! No! Charles!"

"I love you, cara mia." was the last thing she heard before the cold harbour water engulfed us.

"I’m going to kill you!" she spluttered out as soon as she emerged from the water, wiping her wet hair out of her face.

"No you won’t." I laughed, swimming towards her and hugging her close to me, not caring at all about the people watching us "I’m your Prince of Monaco. Which basically makes you my Princess. So, princess, ready to party?"

"I would’ve been ready without a bath in the sea, but yeah. I’m ready." she chuckled and I kissed her, swallowing down the little surprised gasp she let out. My team, the fans, spectators all erupting in cheers and whistles.

"Let’s get out of here."

Chapter 44- HE DID IT! CHARLES LECLERC, THE MAN YOU ARE! I think when I say we’re all beyond proud and happy for him, it’s still an understatement!

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic @ru-kru @shimmermotorsport @janeh22 @kahhorri @18754389 @chiliwhore @hellowgoodbye @queensassybitchsworld @harrysdimple05 @skynel09

All the images I’m using are from Google, Pinterest and Instagram (or self made).

[mxnsxngie]

I Cat Help Falling In Love With You (L.M)

Warnings: Pure Fluff! Little suggestive at the end but not much!

Word Count: 1498

Let Me Know What You Think!

You were absolutely exhausted. You had woke up feeling tired despite sleeping well, and work ended up being insanely busy compared to normal. Walking up to your apartment, you wanted nothing more than to get changed into something comfortable and settle in on the couch for the night with your cats and something on the tv. Maybe even order some takeout so you didn’t have to cook.

Opening the door to your apartment, you were expected to be swarmed by your cats, vying for your attention after leaving them alone all day.

“Hi babies, I’m ho-“ you cut yourself off as you turned around after licking your door, realizing they were nowhere to be seen. Usually they came running when they heard the door.

“Huh? That’s weird. Arlo? Babies?” You ask, rounding the corner into the living room. You immediately realized why they hadn’t come running. Your best friend Minho had come over using the key you gave him to get in and was giving the three of them all of his attention and love, distracting them from the fact you were home. Your heart warmed as you saw him lean down to kiss your orange tabby, Arlo, on the head.

“Ahhh so you’re the reason my cats didn’t come swarm me” you told him, giving as much of a chuckle you could muster while so tired.

“Hey, I can’t help the fact that they love me so much” he smiles, not taking his eyes off the three cats rubbing on him and head butting him. Your black cat Jasper was on one side, your fluffy black and white one Kuja on the other, and Arlo was curled up on his lap, purring away at the pets and kisses he got from Minho.

“That’s true I suppose. You know I’m still surprised he loves you so much, he usually isn’t that fond of men, especially around me” you tell him, referring to the orange cat in his lap who’s looking up at him lovingly.

“Is he really?” He asks, looking over at you finally with a bit of surprise. He shows a little more surprise taking in how tired you look.

“Oh yeah, even my dad he was weary about for the longest time. He’s very protective of me. So he must really like and trust you” you say as you sit next to him on the couch with a slight smile, resting your head on his shoulder. You weren’t sure what it was, but lately you just felt more comfortable with him than usual. Hence why he had a key to your place. You knew he missed his cats sometimes and couldn’t always see them, and you’d been friends for so long and you trusted him so it just felt right giving him a key so he could come see them and you whenever.

“Well I’m honored in that case” he chuckles, smiling down at you while putting his arm around your shoulders “However, I can’t help but notice you look exhausted. You want to talk about it?” He asks.

You sigh, leaning into him a little more. “Nothing all that bad happened, I just woke up feeling tired and then things were crazy busy at work, which didn’t help. So I’m just really worn out is all” you say as you pet Arlo who crawls into your lap now that you’re sitting down.

He frowns a little, rubbing your shoulder as he looks at you “I guess it’s a good thing I’m here then” he says

“What?” You ask, looking at him in confusion.

He smiles before pulling away slightly “If your day has been that bad, it’s a good thing I’m here” he says as he stands, offering a hand to help you up. “Now, I’m going to go make you something to eat because I know you, and you need something better than that take out you were going to order” he says smirking at you.

“I was not going to-“ you try to lie before he cuts you off.

“Yes you were, I know you” he laughs “I’m going to go make you some food, you go get cleaned up and comfortable, and we’ll relax, okay?” He says as he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear.

You close your eyes briefly, enjoying his gentle touch before smiling at him whispering to him “okay, that sounds nice.”

He doesn’t pull away immediately, causing you to blush a little before he finally pulls away and heads to your kitchen to start cooking. You watch him with a fond smile before heading into your room to change.

While you’re getting cleaned up, your mind is running. Since when did Minho make you feel so warm and fuzzy inside? Had you always felt so at peace when you’re with him? And that feeling when he touched you to tuck your hair? As you look in the mirror while finished up, you see the blush and giddy smile on your face and it hits you… you’ve fallen for your best friend. You can only hope he feels the same if you tell him.

As you walked out to find Minho, you can’t help but stand and smile, your feelings for him all but confirmed at the sight. He’s standing in your kitchen cooking dinner for you both while looking up to Kuja, who’s laying on top of the cabinets, talking to him while he cooks. You can’t help but melt a little watching them. It also gives you the courage to tell him how you feel.

You quietly walk over to the kitchen, taking a deep breath before approaching him and silently wrapping your arms around him in a hug from behind. You sigh, relaxing into his warm back, taking in the smell that is uniquely Minho.

He jumps slightly, not having heard you approach while he was distracted by your cats and cooking, before relaxing again, letting out a small chuckle. “Well hi there. Everything okay?” He asks.

“Yeah, everything’s good. I have to tell you something though, and I’m not sure how you’re going to take it” you tell him, the slight hint of nerves tinging your voice.

Minho immediately notices this and turns off the stove and proves the pan to a different burner before turning around in your arms. He looks down at you, concern showing on his face as he brings his hand to your chin, tilting it up to look you in the eyes.

“What’s the matter y/n? Is something wrong”

“No no, nothings wrong just” you take a deep breath “I love you Minho” you tell him, looking into his eyes.

“What?” He asks, eyes full of surprise at your admission.

“I understand if you don’t feel the same for me. But I realized how I felt and it felt wrong not to tell you” you tell him trying to tilt your eyes down in case he rejects you. He doesn’t let you though.

“No no, you just caught he off guard a little” he laughs, as a smile breaks out on his face “I love you too. I have for awhile, but I didn’t want to risk messing anything up with you. Or the cats” he jokes, causing you to laugh.

“You love me too?” You ask, looking at him with warmth and love on full display.

“I do. I couldn’t help falling in love with you” he smiles down at you, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear again. “Can I kiss you now? I’ve been dying to for ages” He asks, one of his mischievous smirks playing on his lips.

“Please do” you say, leaning in to meet his lips. His kiss is more gentle than you expected it would be at first, but you can feel all the passion and emotions he’s trying to convey through it as one of his hands comes come to cradle the side of your face and neck, working with his arm around your lower back to pull you closer.

You hum into the kiss, sliding with of your hands up to tangle in his hair at the nape of the neck, pulling slightly, causing him to let out the most beautiful groan into the kiss. You pull away for a second to catch your breath, looking up at him.

“What about dinner?” You ask, still breathing slightly heavily.

He smirks at you again, a dangerous look in his eye as he responds “Dinner can wait, I’ll finish it for us later. Right now we’ve got some lost time to make up on” he says, before unexpectedly reaching to pick you up and heading to your bedroom. “If you don’t mind that is?” He asks, pausing near your door.

“Hmmm I suppose dinner can wait” you say in a teasing voice, causing him to glare at you and smack your ass before carrying you into your room, kissing you.

Maybe today wasn’t so bad after all.

Tag List: @yxngbxkkie @channiechxn @alyszaen

If you want to be tagged in the future let me know! My chat and inbox are always open so feel free to come talk to me anytime!

[utilitycaster]

Could you expand on Ideology re: Narrative in your Grand Theory?

Is it the thing that the player bases the character’s actions and arcs on, like the thing they focus their attention on when making choices?

Not sure if this counts as a good question, feel free to ignore if not.

Yeah, it's sort of a combination of how they make decisions and what they appear to be most comfortable with/what their strengths are. It's not prescriptive by any means. I should also note: this is specifically in the main campaigns in longform. I think Sam and Laura, for example, are way more comfortable taking a big risk in one-shots or miniseries (Arlo in Candela Obscura is perhaps the most clear example here), and I think Liam, Marisha, and Travis tend to play support/background in those.

To some extent, it's really hard to have character development while actually in the spotlight - that always necessarily has to come later - but Laura and Sam are really comfortable and skilled with their characters always working in their story as a consistent background theme, with scattered episodes of focus. I also think they're least comfortable being in a Big Spotlighted Arc; they both absolutely can do it but it's not what they tend to aim for. They do make big decisions sometimes, but they're often not decisions that put them front and center, and I say this with no judgment (and indeed, with a lot of respect) for those who do place their characters more front and center. I also find them both relatively risk-averse.

Travis and Taliesin tend to have very little aversion to risk. They make characters with pretty clear narrative hooks and are willing to leave quite a lot up to the DM, and will push big red buttons and deal with negative consequences. This is good, and frankly, while I think obsessing on your fave having A Briarwoods Arc (TM) is pointless (different characters need different things; Vex's story simply does not need that kind of central, concrete focus) it's also true that the reason Travis and Taliesin tend to get those is because they make characters for whom this is a natural thing to have, and because they are willing to put their characters on the line. I think Ashley is building up to this; she necessarily couldn't do so as easily when she was frequently away from the table, so Pike and Yasha have a lot of work in the background, but with Fearne she's been taking some pretty big swings. It's a style that requires a lot of confidence in your backstory and a lot of trust in the GM and a strong ability to pivot.

Liam and Marisha tend to have milestones. Marisha skews the furthest towards this; Liam can be a Big Red Button guy and he absolutely has the GM trust/willingness to lose that requires, but he's a little too controlled in his character's goals; I'd say that like, the spectrum here is Sam and Laura as the most background development, Ashley falling between background and big red button, Travis and Taliesin clearly in big red button, Liam between big red button and milestone, and Marisha solidly in milestone. The best way I can describe it is usually their characters have clear tasks to achieve, and they don't really change until the end. Keyleth is the clearest version of this, with the Aramente steps, but Beau's intermittent meetings with the Cobalt Soul also count. The other way I described it is that Big Red Button has the risk first and then the character development as they deal with consequences; Milestone has a big moment as a capstone to the development that's been happening. This style requires a pretty thorough character backstory because it needs to be proactive - it works best for a very driven character, and also requires someone who's willing to talk to the GM out of game to make sure they're broadly aligned (again, nonjudgmental; I think that communication like this is a good thing).

[noahhawthorneauthor]

There's something about queer cozy reads that soothes the soul. Speaking of, I'm hosting a Read-Along for Phantom and Rook on Halloween!

I've partnered up with Fable to give away ebooks to those who join the book club, and if you'd like to participate but prefer audiobooks, let me know! I still have some Spotify codes that I'd be happy to giveaway.

The book club is already set up, link is here. I'll also be creating a Storygraph challenge, and sharing updates on here for those of you who like to quietly participate. It's a great way to celebrate PAR's book birthday, and to prepare for the sequel coming out in a couple months!

Blurb:

Arlo Rook has decided it’s time to move out of Garren Castle, home for orphans of all races, magical or not, at 100 years old.

It’s not the first time he’s left home, but after a setback that landed the Hedge Witch in the hospital a year ago, he ended up right back at square one. But now he’s ready to strike out on his own, despite his friend’s worries that he’s not ready for the ‘real world.’

Then, he crashes into a mess of copper curls and bright eyes, sending apothecary goods and his life into a chaotic mess. Thatch is a mysterious and incredibly wealthy benefactor of Levena, only spoken of but never seen. He requests a night of Arlo’s company and a tour of the city, which Arlo immediately declines.

But that’s not the last time they see each other, and it certainly wasn’t the first. Arlo doesn’t remember him, no one remembers Thatch after he visits, but Thatch never forgot the Witch with a familiar mark on his face.

Thatch Phantom is an immortal, the last of his kind and perpetually bored. When he’s not closing inter-dimensional rifts and corralling demons, he’s visiting his favorite city of all, Levena. Centuries ago, when life was particularly dull, he set up a scavenger hunt for a starving village, providing them with a year’s worth of supplies.

He anonymously returned year after year, upping the ante and providing less practical things, as the village had become a city and was wealthy beyond belief. Festivals were thrown in his honor, and have continued every year since. Hundreds of years later, The Game is still put on by the fabled ‘Scarlet Illusionist’, but no one has figured out who blesses them with the puzzles.

Once again, Thatch is listless and has decided to throw a wild card into this year’s Game. Whoever discovers him will win one wish of their choice, no restrictions. Aside from the obvious, such as no falling in love, murder or resurrection.

What he didn’t anticipate was crashing into the one person whose soul mark flares like a beacon when Thatch is around, teasing the immortal with the one thing he wants most.

Someone to call home.

🍁🎃🏳️‍🌈📚✨

Find Phantom and Rook here!

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

Hi!!! I’m here for some music rec 🫣 I’ve realised that I mostly listen to British singers or boy bands and as you know, they’re mostly male. 95% of the music I listen are male if I’m honest, probably even 98% and I was wondering if you could recommend me some artists. I listened to boygenious because of you so I know we can of have the same taste. Thank you 💕💕💕

ooooooh nice!!! ok here are some artists i love that do not fall into the category of male(-fronted). i've taken the liberty as well to add my fav song

the last dinner party (portrait of a dead girl)

paramore (let the flames begin + part II)

chappell roan (california)

ethel cain (a house in nebraska)

MUNA (stayaway)

if you love boygenius and you haven't checked their solo stuff, there is a treasure trove there (phoebe - i know the end / lucy - please stay / julien - favor)

wet leg (chaise longue)

lizzy mcalpine (doomsday)

camp cope (lost)

pale waves (change)

rachel chinouriri (if only)

fleetwood mac (very unknown super underrated.. lol i had to put them in here ofc) (rhiannon)

mitski (should've been me)

holly humberstone (lauren)

florence + the machine (queen of peace)

the cranberries (linger)

avril lavigne (i'm with you)

and then artists where i haven't dug deeper yet but love the songs i've heard, like arlo parks (devotion), L7 (pretend that we're dead), allison ponthier (faking my own death), eisley (a song for the birds) ............

that's a good mix of genres i'd say!! i hope you find some stuff in there that you like :)

[michixoxo]

"𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙨 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙤𝙣?"

you and main cast, where yall going?

John

put on your sunscreen! cuz you're going the fuck outside

takes you to a carnival in town for your first date.

he instantly wants to get you every single prize there is, doing multiple games, all rigged against him, and his frustration gets progressively higher.

until, the fated claw machine.

it was your mistake to mention that you'd love the cute pig plushie, because he spends quarter after quarter determined to get you it.

it gets to the point that you end up leaving to go get you both a soda, seeing how he won't even move from the machine.

with his last failed attempt, he slams his fist against the side of the machine, impossibly frustrated and out of quarters.

but, fate seems to be on his side, as the metal panel guarding the inside of the machine falls as a result of his punch.

can you really blame him for reaching his arm inside and taking a plush or two? or three? or... all of them?

he carries as much as he can, excited to show you. he can see you in the distance, only a little bit more, just a little—

"freeze! you're under arrest!", aw shit.

"you are being charged with destruction of property and theft. anything you say can be used against you in court.", he feels shame and embarrassment pool in his stomach as the altercation draws your attention, your hands covering your mouth in shock as he's cuffed.

as he is put into the carnival police car, he hangs his head low. i'm such a screw up. how could i be so fucking idiotic? they hate me, don't they? i fucking hate mysel—

"john!", your voice rings out even in the police car. he sees you, standing in the middle of the mountain of plushies. he sees as you pick up the prized pig plush, holding it in your arms.

"thank you!", you shout, smiling at him and waving. he tries to wave back, but resorts to shaking his head left and right, indulging in the laugh it pried from you.

even as the police car starts to move, his feelings are replaced with more welcomed ones: feelings for you.

he would take you mostly on casual dates when you start dating. you would go to places like arcades, fairs, and the like. cute picnic dates with each other, just talking and loving each other's company.

cute couple that ends up getting kicked out of every establishment they go to.

Sera

takes you to woaba boba for your first date.

what? it's not romantic? welp, that's rough buddy.

honestly, she doesn't feel the need to overly impress you. of course, she wants you to have a good time and have a good impression of her, but she isn't gonna stress herself out.

also uses it as a sort of test. she's had people, if they're brave enough, try to befriend her in order to benefit off her family's wealth, connections, and power.

so, if you don't like it, then you can happily take your business elsewher—? oh? you love boba? you always wanted to go here? you're thanking her?

hm. well, she may have been a bit rash. maybe you aren't like other people...

you blink slightly as she sips her boba, looking strangely pleased. did something happen..?

takes you to different hang out spots.

you'd go shopping together at the mall or spend time at a skating ring, whether or not either of you can skate is entirely irrelevant.

similar to john, you both get into a lot of trouble on your dates, though your chances of being caught are now halved 👍

badass couple that get progressively dumber the longer they are around each other.

Arlo

first date on the moon

okay not actually but its still exuberantly fancy

french restaurant in the heart of Wellston that has three michilen stars and a price range that would make the average man cry.

you're not surprised when you show up and he's wearing a suit that's the cost of the same man's salary.

classic candlelit dinner, the chef personally comes to serve you both. you pray that he doesn't believe in 50/50

not nervous at all. in fact, bro thinks he's the shit. (and he is but don't tell him that)

he knows he outdid himself with this one, and he knows that it's gonna impress you. still... you look sort of... bored—? well, no matter. he didn't pay the chef just for them not to have any tricks up their sleeve.

date goes well, because of course it did. still, as he walks you to your home, you look... less impressed than he hoped for.

did he do something wrong? did you not like the food? did you hate the restaurant—?,

"arlo!", huh? "there's a cat in the tree!", what did you want him to do about it? you stare at him with those pretty eyes, looking up at him. don't you remember that this suit costs a fortune? why not just call the fire department— "please, arlo..?"

...so what? he got a few twigs caught in his hair. and sure, maybe his suit is completely stained and torn from kitten claws and branches. but that sweet smile of yours, the impossibly bright light in that dim alley, is more than enough to make up for it.

takes you to expensive, classic dates. dinner dates are always a favorite, but you also go to nice lounges and country clubs to play golf or drink champagne.

elitist couple that thinks they are better than everyone and technically is.

Remi

first date is bowling, 90s style

she's very excited for the date, isen and blyke? not so much.

she had to practically chain them to a street lamp to be able to go with you on the date, and still, two guys in employee uniforms seem to be glaring at you an awful lot huh...

but anyways! the date is great! you both spend time with each other and take turns bowling. a fun sort of competition evolves from every passing round. she's... happy. she's really, really happy with you. and it's like she never wants it to end.

alas, a rumble of her stomach catches you both off-guard, resulting in a light chuckle from you and an embarrassed blush from her.

enjoying a burger, fries, and coke, you both sit together playing footsies in the food court. except, no good thing lasts for long.

a stray fry passes by your table, hitting someone behind you on the head. yet, despite doing something about it, the person simply cowers further in fear.

then, another fry. and another. and then a soda cup splatters hard and fast against them, covering them in a sticky, brown liquid. it's disgusting. it's revolting. and remi can barely stand to see it.

yet, for some reason, you grip tightly onto your own soda cup and stand up, your face obscured by the overhead light.

there's no way. no way you're gonna join in this, right? you were better than this, right? you wouldn't stoop to their level. no. no, how could you—?

your own soda cup slams against the face of the perpetrator, a sticky, orange fluid plastered all over them.

after the shock, remi's face almost shines. maybe, maybe you aren't like everyone else. she was right about you. and she's so happy she was.

takes you on classic dates. sharing a milkshake or pasta in a small diner is only one of her many ideas for you both. also likes going to fairs and carnivals, she'll win you so many plushies.

sweet couple that gives everyone diabetes with how cute you are.

Blyke

tries to do something similar to arlo and fails miserably.

first date at a fancy restaurant but he shows up 15 minutes late covered in dirt and mud on his suit.

ask him what happened and he'll brush off the fact that he lost his phone in the sewer drain and bought a fishing rod to get it out and it worked until he accidentally flung both fishing rod and phone into a tree that he had to climb but didn't realize was being actively cut down and got stuck on a semi-truck as he fell and terrifyingly slid off until he bounced and bumped and conveniently landed right in front of the restaurant.

but don't worry! just a few scratches and stains and oh, is there a bird in his hair?

sits down and— "pfft, do you see them?", huh?

"please, what an embarrassment. people like that shouldn't be here, they ruin it for everyone."

...y'know what? fuck them. it doesn't matter. he's here with you, and he won't ruin it by getting angry. he shouldn't be mad. don't get mad—

and suddenly, a cup of water is thrown at the talking man.

"hey! keep your ass out of our business! what makes you think you can talk about us when you're balding at, what, 30?"

after a few more comments comparing the man to mr. clean and a couple profanities later, you're both thrown out of the restaurant with nothing but the clothes on your back.

"psh, assholes. let's go, blyke.", "go? what do you mean?", you smile at him, standing up and offering your hand. "our date isn't over just yet."

he might just love you.

takes you on gym dates. just gym dates. only gym dates. and maybe a few coffee dates or dates at the beach.

superhero couple with all the energy of a shonen anime and the bad decisions to show for it.

Isen

first date at the mall

think about it, it's casual enough to not be taken too seriously but also enough activities to make it seem like he's putting in more effort than he really is.

he's a genius, isn't he?

sometime during the date, you both go inside a stationary store. there, he might've just met the love of his life.

a pen, no, the pen. everything from the smell, to the sleek style, to the vibrant red and black accents. it's beautiful. but he'll be damned if he's spending $300 on a singular pen, even he has his limits.

so, after staring longingly at it, he leaves along with you to the next place. it's fine, surely nothing wrong could happen now—

"hey! you there with the bad haircut!", huh? first of all, rude—

the security guard yells at him, telling him that he apparently stole the valued pen at the stationary store. that the cameras saw him looking at it and they know it was him.

not only is the dude embarrassing him in front of you, but his integrity is being called into question.

why is it always him? can't he have a simple day without things going wrong? he didn't even do anything! why is it always his fault—?

you step in front of isen, almost to protect him. "he wouldn't do that, he isn't like that. just because he was looking at it doesn't mean he did it. you don't even know him, not like how i do."

..? you're taking his side? even after what the security guard said?

his thoughts are stopped as the store owner comes up to the security guard, saying that after checking the cameras, someone with invisibility probably took it.

the security guard stops, looking rightfully embarrassed. "s-sorry, then. my mistake." what an—

"asshole. you think we're forgiving you that easily. you better start groveling right now, you pig."

... you're worse than him... which is kinda hot.

instead of taking you on dates, you both just do everything together. if he needs help with the press team, then you're the first person he's going to. if he needs to share a secret that's been weighing him down, then you're always there to lend an ear.

annoying couple that pisses everyone off in 0.420 seconds.

based on the values i think the main cast would appreciate/need in a partner:

john: forgiveness

sera: authenticity

arlo: kindness

remi: righteousness

blyke: courage

isen: loyalty

[oplishin]

headcanons centering main cast’s passive abilities

I just think having your power constantly manifest itself in some way would be pretty impactful on your life actually

If Remi goes into a room with a lot of complex electrical stuff going on (a computer lab maybe) she’ll start getting a headache from how overstimulating it is. She functions as a portable phone charger which Blyke and Isen take full advantage of. She can identify any circuitry problem by just. feeling how the electricity is flowing through the device

Seraphina always knows exactly what time it is down to the millisecond. John always asks her what time it is just to annoy her. 

arlo tried to get more piercings once, but it didn’t work because his passive defense stopped it from happening. Any sort of invasive medical procedure does Not work on him. This includes IVs and needles in general (he hasn’t gotten vaccinated in 2 years). honestly i have a million headcanons centering arlo’s passive and his theoretical medical trauma

John uses his aura detection to sneak up on people and jumpscare them. by people i do mean arlo. 

isen’s (not a high tier but i had the idea and wanted to put it here) eyes are based on tracking movement, so he has a really hard time with focusing on things that are stationary. what im saying is that his ability gave him both adhd and dyslexia. he has hair trigger reflexes that let him crush Blyke at video games which pisses Blyke off to no end.

[lfc21]

Nativity - day 11

TW : Fluff, have children.

Names : Arlo - your sons name

Summary : It was your child's annual nativity show at his school. With many days of practising, the school was ready for you all to see the wonderful and most festive show of all.

As annually promised, the most festive and memorable show of the year was going to take place. Your child's school always put together an amazing nativity for every pupils family. This year was finally your sons class. He was going to play the star. The more the days came closer to the show, the more you couldn't wait to see your sons perfect face dressed as a gold star. Trent was more than excited. If anything, it was very unexpected. Trents mum Dianne had told you about Trents perfect performance as the star in his first appearance in his class's nativity. He was an up and coming actor by the sounds of it.

"Is it just me, or is it freezing in here?" You asked with weary eyes as you looked at Trent next to you. You had just arrived at the church where the nativity was going to be held. Herds of families were flooding through the door, leaving a cold winter draft to decorate the shoulders of everyone.

"Absolutely," Trent replied back with a laugh. His large arm snaked around your two shoulders as you both looked in front of you, waiting for it to begin. "Andy and Rachel said Rocco is the donkey," Trent added with a smile as he remembered what his teammate had told him earlier on today. Your son Arlo and Andy's son Rocco were in the same class together. Since their first day in school, the pair of them had been inseparable just like their dads.

"That so cute," you said at the thought of the little version of Andy dressing up as a donkey to carry Mary and Joseph to Bethlehem.

"Not as cute as the star! Only really talented actors play the Star, " Trent pointed out with raised eyebrows and a very smug expression. You couldn't help but laugh at his appauling act of lies falling from his mouth.

"Babe, let go of it! Your not going to be Leonardo DiCaprio, " you quickly said with a laugh as you stroked his dark hair from his face. You knew he was only joking, but you couldn't help but find amusement in the thought of Trent being a huge Hollywood actor.

As the Church started to fill up and the sound of familiar Christmas carols filled the room, the show started to come to light. Multiple classmates of your sons were walking out with huge smiles and excited eyes. As you pulled your phone out to record, Arlo came out wearing his gold outfit and styling his dads same hair. His gummy smile sent an addicting giggle to Trent's body as he tried his best to get his sons attention without screaming his name. As Trent's waves were becoming more prominent in the little boys eyes, he noticed you both sat with beaming and proud smiles. He gave you both a huge wave with both hands as he ignored everyone around him. He loved seeing you both in the crowd looking at him with such glee and joy.

"He looks so cute," you said as you admired him with such love and joy. The nativity was now in full swing, and you had received many smiles from Arlo as well as a few from Rocco.

"Like m-" Trent started

"Don't even finish that sentence, babe," you said with a laugh as you cut his words short. He sarcastically shook his head at you as he kissed your soft cheek. You were so proud of your two boys. They never failed to put a smile on your face and a laugh in your body.

As soon as the show had ended, you waited for your shining star. You couldn't wait to see just how happy he was.

"Mummy! Daddy!" you heard being yelled as he ran over to you both and hugged both of your legs. His giggles were the only thing to be heard as he embraced you both.

"You did so well, darling," you said with a smile as you watched Trent pick him up onto his strong hip.

"Thank you, mummy! I think I was a good star! even better than daddy, " Arlo explained with a laugh as he looked at his dad. Trent simply shook his head and tickled the small boy in his arms as their laughs both filled your ears. You could have listened to them both laugh until the end of time. It was just perfection. They were both your shining star no matter what.

This is day 11 of my Christmas advent calendar 📅 It is officially 2 weeks until Christmas! 🎄 thank you all so much for the support 😊 please leave feedback and requests as they are greatly appreciated and really mean a lot ❤️ your support at the moment is so incredible 👏 have the most amazing day 🙏 merry Christmas 🎄 masterlist ❤️

@prettylittletrent @cornertakenquicklyyyy @trentalexanderarnold @robbo38 @robbothegoat @kostasstsimikass @chelseamount @chloereddy @tsimikasfamily @avenirdelight @blueathens @jordanhendersunshine @mrs-henderson @thatonesexycancerian @hendersons1truelover @nyctophilic0vitnir @peekapeaches @tsimikas2l @tsimikostas @trentalexarnofan @leddows @moneymasnn @superkittywonderland @virgilvansike @virgilvandickmedown @hopefulromantic1 @robbo-trent-fanfiction26

[hstyleshoney]

Loves Me Loves Me Not - six.

“So you’re here hiding?”  “No one is really looking.” 

AU fake-dating, bartenderry // Harry is a bartender and new in town. A joke with her friends turns into reality after too much tequila, but nothing goes according to plan.

And she might be way in over her head.  

word count: 7.8K // language, consumption of alcohol

🐶 Ficpage 💜 ask 🌼 masterlist

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“I can think of at least five reasons why you should come with us!”

Finn pushed Y/N to the side, swaying in his steps, and threw an arm around Harry. 

Harry, in return, reached out to put a hand on the taller boy’s waist to keep him steady. They had all left Margot’s place to venture down to White Deer to continue their night, hollering and giggling loudly, a large amount of alcohol flowing through their veins. 

After finishing their games of beer-pong, Finn had brought out the shots and somehow convinced everyone to take at least one each. Y/N, unfortunately, ended up having four, and as they stumbled along the cobblestone to get to the pub she could feel her head swirling. She ended up leaning into Harry, linking her arm with his to keep herself steady as they walked. 

Harry, who to her surprise, had been coaxed into having a shot of tequila as well, made no objections as he felt her grab a hold of him. 

As the night progressed Finn had taken a liking to the grumpy man. Y/N was not entirely sure when or how it had happened, since Harry hadn’t entertained his rambling conversation all that much. It didn’t stop Finn though and he had been glued to Harry for pretty much the last hour. 

“I’m sure you can,” Harry replied with a chuckle. “But I think it’s time for me to call it quits.” 

“I can’t let you do that I’m afraid,” Finn countered and shook his head. “For one, it’s my birthday. You don’t leave until the birthday boy leaves!” 

While Harry had walked with the group to White Deer, seeing as he lived in the same building, he had made it pretty clear he was not joining them inside the pub. Something Finn was not accepting. 

“I think maybe it’s time for the birthday boy to go home now,” Harry suggested as Finn stumbled and almost fell face-first to the ground. He probably would have too if it wasn’t for the fact that he was using Harry as a human crutch.

“I’ll pretend you never said that,”  Finn faked a gasp, pretending to be upset. “Secondly, you need to come with us so you can take care of this klutz,” he nodded toward Y/N. “She’ll end up in a ditch somewhere on her way home otherwise.” 

“Heey,” Y/N pouted. “If anyone is ending up in a ditch it's you!” 

“Yeah yeah,” Finn waved her off and turned his attention back to the man he was hanging over. “C’mon Harold, you need to let loose. Come with us to the pub!”

“You’ve only given me two reasons so far,” Harry told him, hoping to avoid having to spend more time with the group. 

More specifically the blonde man who kept shooting daggers at him whenever he could. Y/N had tried her best to keep the two of them apart, never leaving Harry’s side, dragging him over to talk to Arlo and Finn throughout the night in an attempt to keep him busy. 

Which, in hindsight, was ultimately a big failure to her original plan. She had hardly said a word to Reece outside of playing beer-pong, but at least he had asked her to be on his team.

That had to count for something. 

Behind them Arlo and Kiara walked together, whispering something between themselves, keeping their distance from the rest of the group. Margot, Ruby, Reece and Jack were all in the front, leading the drunks to the pub, chatting loudly and laughing amongst each other. 

“Well, reason three - reason three is you live right above the pub and won’t be able to go to sleep anyways,” Finn grinned. “It’ll be too rowdy. You won’t get any peace.” 

“No different to any other night,” Harry challenged, surprising Y/N by entertaining her drunk friend’s arguments as much as he was. The permanent frown that had been on his face for most of the night was nowhere to be seen. 

Y/N wasn’t sure if the tingle in her stomach came from seeing Harry kind of getting along with one of her friends, or just the four shots of tequila she had downed.

“It’ll be a blast,” the taller boy continued. “You stand there behind the bar every weekend. Let me - Let me show you what it’s like to be on the other side. We can annoy Max together and order a bunch of like special cocktails - or something. That’s four!” 

“Finn, if Harry wants to go home, let him,” Y/N stepped in, knowing she hadn’t done a very good job with helping him when Arlo and Margot ambushed him at BLOOM yesterday. Harry had been through more than enough already. “He’s probably had enough of you dumb idiots for one night.” 

“Oh hush, you’re only saying that so you can go with him and shag all night.” 

“Finn!” 

“Oh, stop it, I’ve seen you ogling each other all night,” he said and looked between them, wiggling his eyebrows. “You can fuck each other’s brains out later. Right now it’s still my birthday for another-” he paused to check the time. “Another 45 minutes. Aaand that brings me to reason five, you need to come with us so Y/N here won’t leave her good friend on his birthday.” 

“You’re an idiot,” Y/N rolled her eyes and looked at Harry again. “You don’t have to come.” 

“You do, don't listen to her!” 

She shook her head and by doing so, she missed the small dent in the concrete, accidentally stumbling over and dropping her bag to the ground. 

Despite Finn hanging over him, Harry still managed to reach out and keep her from smashing into the ground. His hand wrapped around her upper arm in a firm grip, pulling her back up on her feet. He looked at her with unimpressed eyes and Y/N gave him a weak smile before picking up her bag, her cheeks getting hotter. 

“Hm, well, I’ll stay for 45 minutes then,” Harry complied with a hum, his eyes still on Y/N and her intoxicated state of mind. She regretted every single shot she had taken. “Good enough for you?” 

“Yes!” Finn exclaimed with a jump, making both of them stumble slightly at the sudden motion. The group in front of them had already reached White Deer and with one final pat on Harry’s back, Finn headed off to catch up with them. “I’ll get the shots ready!”

“Just for the record,” Y/N mused as they watched Finn run off to join the four who had already entered the pub. “For once, this was not my fault.”

“Debatable,” Harry remarked, the corner of his lips hinting at a small smirk. 

“Thank you though,” she told him softly.

“For what?” 

Y/N paused for a moment, looking over his shoulder to see Arlo and Kiara catching up to them. There was no time for her to explain everything she wanted to thank him for. Her whole body was screaming at her to just tell him how much she actually appreciated everything he had done for her, even when there was nothing really in it for him. 

She was thankful for him going along with her plan, for letting her stay the night a couple of weeks ago, for bringing her a brownie, for coming with her to Margot’s, for seemingly getting along with Finn and now coming with them to White Deer on his night off. Even if the night had not gone exactly how she had imagined, and it was slowly dawning on her how absurd her whole plan actually was, she was glad Harry had gone along with it all.  

Regardless of the harsh and grumpy facade he was putting up in front of people, Y/N felt like she had gotten a glimpse of the real him. A glimpse that showed her he had a softer side beneath it all. A side that cared about people and wanted to help, even if he wouldn’t admit it out loud. 

Because he was helping her even though she was essentially a stranger to him. 

And she really just hoped he would want to be friends even after her plan was over. 

“I- well, everything I suppose,” Y/N hesitated and glanced down at her shoes to avoid the intense green eyes looking down at her. “I’m glad I met you.” 

“So you could use me for your ludicrous scheme to make an absolute douche fall for you?” Harry commented sarcastically, but Y/N could tell there was some truth behind his words as well. 

“What I- no,” she started and looked back up at him with a frown. “That’s not-”

“What are you two Lovebirds doing just standing around here for?” Arlo’s loud voice interrupted. He squeezed up between them and threw his arms around both of their necks, hanging over them. “C’mon, let’s go get smashed!” 

“Pretty sure most of us are past that point already,” Kiara pointed out with a giggle. She took a hold of Arlo’s arm and pulled him off them. “Let’s leave these cuties to themselves. They’ll catch up, and I desperately need the loo!” 

Y/N watched her pull Arlo with her in the direction of White Deer, leaving her alone with Harry again. She opened her mouth to tell him he was wrong but couldn’t quite find the words. Because in the back of her mind, a small voice was whispering that he was in fact right. She was using him for her own selfish desires. 

The guilt that had been drowned by a sea of alcohol was slowly forcing itself up to the surface again. 

“Harry, I’m-” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Harry interrupted her that time, giving her a tense smile. “Let’s just go before Finn starts counting the minutes and make me stay longer.” 

He offered his arm out to her again, to let her support herself as they walked the last bit to the pub. Y/N looked at him for a moment, desperately trying to ignore the uncomfortable tightness across her chest, before linking her arms with his again. 

And as they walked toward the entrance of the pub, her body pressing up against his, her knees somehow felt weaker than they had been all night.

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It wasn’t until Margot had dragged Y/N into the bathroom that all of the shots really started to catch up to her. While Margot sat down on the toilet to pee Y/N leaned her back against the wall and eventually let herself slide down until she was sitting on the floor. It was terribly unhygienic, but her head was swirling way too much to stand. 

She just needed to sit down and breathe for a moment. 

Margot was talking to her, telling her some story about Ruby. Y/N wasn’t actually sure, most of her friend’s words were drowned out by the ringing in her ears. Why did she take four shots? And why in the world did she let Finn convince her to take another when they finally arrived at the pub? She would’ve been perfectly fine without that last one. 

Stupid. 

Then Margot said something that caught her attention. 

Harry’s name. 

“Huh?” 

“He is so bloody handsome!” Margot gushed. “And I can tell he really cares about you!” 

“I don’t - I don’t think he does,” Y/N admitted and exhaled deeply to focus on the conversation she suddenly found herself in. 

“Oh stop it!” Margot told her and reached over to grab some toilet paper. “The way he got all up in Reece’s face! He definitely didn’t like the way he was coming onto his girl. Dare I say, he was a bit jealous?” 

“Reece?” 

“What?” Margot gave her a funny look. “No! Harry!” 

“He wasn’t jealous,” Y/N cackled and covered her mouth with her hand to stop herself from bursting into laughter. The idea of Harry being jealous was absurd. 

The alcohol she had consumed throughout the night rose in the back of her throat when she remembered her hand had been on the floor just moments ago. She quickly removed it and wiped her face with the sleeve of her blazer. 

“Oh, he totally was!” Margot urged and stood up, struggling to pull her tight trousers back up. She lost her footing for a second and caught herself against the wall, giggling. It was clear Y/N wasn’t the only one feeling the effects of the ridiculous amount of alcohol Finn had gotten them all to drink. “You know what, actually - maybe Reece was as well.” 

That got her head spinning even more. 

“You think?” she asked. 

“If I was a guy and Harry showed up out of the blue, all broody and mysterious- Oh, and with that jawline!” Margot closed her eyes, a dreamy smile on her lips. “Ugh, I would be jealous too.” 

For the past 24 hours, Y/N had been telling herself that her plan was working, that bringing Harry tonight would be the last push; what if she was right? What if her plan had actually worked? 

If so, what did that mean? 

“Harry is very pretty,” Y/N agreed without realizing she said it out loud. 

“He is,” Margot beamed and offered her hand to help her get up from the floor. “So let’s get back to them so you can finally lay a big fat smooch on him!” 

With the help of her friend, she got back up on her feet, pausing for a moment to take a deep breath again. Her heart was beating hard inside her chest and the ringing in her ears got louder, every single cell in her body was telling her to sit down again. 

Yet, she followed Margot back out into the pub, her legs wobbly and unsteady. 

There were a lot of things Y/N should’ve done differently that night. For starters, she never should’ve drank as much as she did. She should’ve learned by now that tequila and her did not go well together. It was simply not a good idea. 

And she really should’ve stayed sitting down. 

And she really should’ve been watching where she was going. 

As they exited the bathroom the pub seemed to have gotten even louder. Y/N found herself looking for Harry as soon as the door closed behind them. He was still sitting around the same table she had left him at with Finn, and she had to do a double take as she saw them fully engaged in a conversation. Harry showed no signs of his usual grumpy demeanor, and Y/N could very well be mistaken, but she was sure she even saw him laughing. 

If she hadn’t been so taken aback by the sight taking place in the pub, and if her head hadn’t been so clouded by all the alcohol, she probably would’ve seen the man coming towards her. 

Sadly, she was far too surprised and too unfocused. 

Her body slammed right into the large man carrying two pints of beer, and she lost her balance completely. The man dropped one of the drinks, spilling it all over her top, and as she tried to take a step back she felt her ankle twist. 

It all happened in a matter of a few seconds, but she found herself on the floor. 

Time froze as the whole room turned their eyes to her and Y/N wanted to sink through the floor. 

“Oh man, you okay?” The man she had just bumped into asked, a look of worry on his face. Which was a little bit of a relief, knowing he wasn’t angry with her. 

Although, she would’ve felt a lot better if the whole pub hadn’t just witnessed her falling over. 

“Yeah, I’m good,” she quickly blurted out and gave the man a big smile. “I’m so sorry!” As she tried to stand up again a sharp pain pulsed through her foot and she found herself limping, wincing in discomfort. Her top was cold against her body from the beer and the whiff of the dark lager made her nauseous all over again. 

Then, out of nowhere, she felt a strong arm sneak around her waist and pull her body close, supporting her and allowing her to not put any weight on her left foot. 

Harry. 

“Can you stand?” he asked and tightened his grip around her as he felt her falter again. 

“I’m fine,” she told him quickly, trying to put her foot down and push him off her. A small groan escaped her as she felt another sharp pain shoot through her ankle. She could still feel several eyes on her from around the room. Her heart rate picked up again and she bowed her head down, to let her hair cover most of her face. If it hadn’t been for the pulsating pain in her foot she would’ve ran right out of there. 

The fact that she couldn’t made her rethink her decision to not buy those tickets to Svalbard. 

“You’re not,” Harry told her with a frown. He turned to the man she had bumped into. She heard him say something, but she was far too busy regretting every life choice she had ever made to make out any words they said. 

Then she felt him drag her arm over his shoulders and he moved her body forward. “C’mon, I’ll take you upstairs and get you cleaned up.” 

“What?” she fretted. “No, I’m fine. Honestly, I fall over all the time.” 

“You can’t walk,” Harry told her and rolled his eyes. 

“I can,” she tried to argue weakly, pushing him off her again. Harry let her but still made sure to keep his arm around her loosely. As soon as her foot touched the floor she winced and pulled it back up, leaning against him for support. The pain was evident through her fake smile and Harry raised his brows. 

“You can walk, huh?” 

“I’m fine. We don’t have to leave.” 

“Stop being so stubborn please,” Harry grumbled. “We need to get some ice for your foot and you need a change of clothes.” 

While most of her wanted to run out of there and never return; there was a small piece of her pride that couldn’t accept that Harry was right. The only logical thing was to get out of there and go lie down. 

But accepting defeat made the reality of her little stumble far too real, and Y/N couldn’t quite handle the fact that she had slipped over and hurt herself in front of the whole pub yet. 

However, as she made another attempt to stand on her foot and another wave of pain shot through her foot she finally accepted defeat. 

“Okay then,” she sighed heavily. “Let’s go.” 

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When Harry finally unlocked the door to his flat Y/N was exhausted, her ankle was throbbing in pain with every single step she took. 

Getting up the steep stairs had taken them twice as long as it normally would. It was almost impossible to put any weight on her foot, and she could tell Harry was starting to lose his patience when they were only about halfway up. 

Although, she wasn’t sure whether it was because of her childish whining, him having to basically carry her, or the way she kept apologizing to him. 

Probably all three. 

Once inside, Harry helped her over to his bed and assisted her as she tried to get her shoes off. When she was finally seated he picked up one of the pillows and carefully placed it at the end of the bed, lifting her leg onto it to make sure her foot was elevated. 

“You don’t have to-” 

“Y/N, just- shush,” Harry interrupted her and put a hand up to stop her from talking and going into another round of apologies. “Please.” 

“Sorry.” 

Harry gave her a tired look.  

Y/N wanted to apologize again but managed to stop herself. While she was grateful to finally be able to sit down and rest; she didn’t want to be more of a burden to him than she already was. 

The fact that he had to take care of her after everything that she had forced him into made her feel even more selfish. 

Harry walked over to the small fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. He paused for a moment and muttered something to himself before coming back over to her. 

“Here,” he said and handed her the bottle. “Drink.” 

“Thank you,” she mumbled and watched as he walked over to his dresser, pulling out a similar set of sweats she had borrowed from him the last time she was there. “You really don’t have to-” 

“You are covered in beer,” Harry interrupted her again and then glanced down at her legs. “You’ve also ripped your tights.” 

Y/N looked down at her knees and discovered there was a tear in the thin material across her knee and up along her thigh. Her cheeks flushed. 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, and I’d rather not have my sheets reeking of old beer and food from the pub.” 

“That... that makes sense." 

“I know,” Harry said and surprisingly let out a small chuckle before handing her the clothes he had pulled out. “So please, stop being so uncooperative and just… just let me help you.” 

“I don’t think I can get to the bathroom to change,” Y/N admitted and looked down at her foot. She tried to move it again and immediately regretted it. 

“Oh, right,” Harry cleared his throat. “Well, I’ll give you some privacy.” 

“Thanks,” she smiled softly and watched as he turned his back to her and slowly started walking towards the bathroom to let her change in peace. “Wait!” 

“Huh?” 

“Where is my phone?” she asked. “And my bag?” 

Harry frowned. 

“Probably still downstairs in the pub,” he replied after a moment of contemplation. Y/N groaned as she realized neither of them had gotten it from the table before leaving. Before she could complain about having to go back down the stairs though - Harry quickly spoke again. “I’ll go get it while you change.” 

“No, it’s okay, I’ll-” 

“You’ll stay and change,” Harry told her firmly. “Took us long enough to get you up those stairs once. It’ll be quicker if I go.” 

“Rude.” 

“I’ll be back soon,” Harry rolled his eyes. “And you, just rest your foot and drink your water, Ducky. Don’t try to walk anywhere.” 

“Alright, Grumpy,” she mocked and Harry shook his head at her before leaving her alone in the small flat. 

The ringing in her ears intensified once more as soon as she found herself finally sitting in complete silence. She took a big gulp of the water Harry had given her and took a couple of seconds to sit back, gathering some strength to change out of her beer-drenched clothes. "Ugh, fuck," she muttered to herself as a small wave of nausea washed over her.

She was never drinking again. 

At least the calm of Harry's flat was making her feel a little bit better. The stuffy pub had done nothing to help her swirling head. If anything it had only made her feel worse; seeing as she had humiliated herself by tripping over in front of everyone. 

Y/N shivered at the reminder of her fall. 

Getting changed was as much of a struggle as getting up the stairs had been. Her foot hurt and she nearly fell over again as she tried to stand and shimmy out of her clothes. Her skirt and shirt along with her ripped tights ended up in a heap on the floor and she felt a little bad for just leaving them there, making a mess, but she couldn’t find the energy to pick them up. 

But, quite contradictory, as she went to sit down again; her eye caught the small picture frame on the dresser she had seen the first time she was there. 

And despite her body telling her to sit down, the flicker of curiosity sparking up inside her was far too strong for her drunk brain to ignore.  

She stood up again and made her way around the bed, alternating between limping and jumping on one leg, until she reached the dresser. Y/N had promised herself she would stop being so nosey and let Harry decide what he wanted to share with her about his life, but with Little Y/N drowning in a sea of tequila again she had no voice of reason telling her to stop. 

The small picture had been on her mind since she first saw it. With Harry being so reserved, the idea of him having a picture up that related to his past was far too intriguing. 

As she picked up the frame and got a closer look at the memory he had displayed a warmth spread through her. It was a picture of three people. Two women and a small boy. Y/N immediately recognized one of the women, whom she had recently learned was Harry’s grandmother. 

The other woman looked a lot like Ruth. She had the same crooked nose and big lips. Her hair was blond with much darker roots and frizzy ends. The woman had a big smile on her lips as she had an arm around the small boy, despite the rest of her looking tired and worn down.  

But even in the old grainy photo her piercing green eyes were what stood out the most. It was the same deep green she had been getting the know for a couple of weeks now. 

Harry’s mother. 

It had to be. 

Her attention fell on the small boy in Ruth’s lap, which was undoubtedly Harry himself. His hair was much lighter than his current style and he was yet to develop the any sort of pattern to his strands. By just looking at his younger self you never could’ve guessed that his hair would turn into the wavy mess he had as an adult. Similar to the two adults, he had a huge grin on his face as he held a small gift, wrapped in a colorful paper, in his tiny hands. 

He looked like the happiest little boy around, a pair of dimples forming on both sides of his face, surrounded by two people who loved him unconditionally. 

Y/N smiled at the photo. It was heart-warming. 

Unfortunately, it didn’t help her curiosities much. Harry gave the impression he was no longer close to any of his family, and he didn’t seem like he wanted to be. 

Yet, he kept a photo of his mother displayed on his dresser. 

She wanted to ask him about it, to know everything about him and his life, but she knew she couldn’t force him to open up. She shouldn’t even be snooping around like she was. 

And really, she was bound to get caught. 

Which was exactly what happened. 

”First the photo on Instagram and now this,” his voice startled her out of her thoughts. She looked up with big eyes. Harry stood by the door, her jacket and bag hanging from his arm, and shook his head disapprovingly. He didn’t look upset though, his lips were surprisingly turned up in a soft smile. ”I really should be asking for more than just 10 pounds.” 

”Well,” Y/N started and put the frame down again, her cheeks warm and mouth dry. ”You still haven’t used your free haircut.”

Harry gave her a dry chuckle and then turned around to close the front door behind him, making sure it was locked. 

His hair was a tousled mess from constantly running his hands through it all night. And as he stood under the yellow sheen from the light, she noticed for the first time how rosy his cheeks were. 

And Y/N realized, while he was nowhere near her level of drunk, Finn had gotten to him as well. 

The way he carried himself as he walked further into the room, placing her things on the old armchair, was different from his usual rigid stride. His body moved slowly across the small room, his posture slouchy and loose; the tension in his shoulders long gone.

Y/N swore there was even a slight wobble to his steps. 

”I thought I told you to rest,” Harry reminded her and raised one of his brows as he looked back at her. Y/N gave him an innocent smile. ”Go sit down.” 

”Yes, Sir,” she replied and playfully saluted him, immediately regretting the words leaving her mouth. 

Harry pretended like he hadn’t heard her and just offered his hand to her to help her get back into bed. 

The number of times she had held his hand throughout the night was staggering, and Y/N slowly found herself enjoying the familiarity of his strong fingers wrapped around hers. 

When she sat back down on the bed, Harry made sure her foot was elevated once again and picked up what looked like a kitchen towel bundled up into a ball. Carefully, he placed it over her ankle and Y/N hissed at the coldness. 

”Sorry,” Harry apologized quietly, looking down at her ankle and the bundle of ice he had made downstairs in White Deer’s kitchen. 

”Ughh, I’m such a dunce,” she groaned and let her head fall backward, hitting the wall with a small thud. ”Why couldn’t I be born with the grace of like… like a ballerina or something? It’s so unfair.” 

”I’m pretty sure tequila is to blame for this as well,” Harry noted and gently moved the ice to another part of her foot. Y/N glanced at him as he tended to her injury. He sat crouched down next to her beside the bed, doing his best to help ease the pain in her ankle, and she was struck by the same appreciation she had felt earlier. 

Harry was doing so much for her, too much, and he was barely getting anything back in return. She hadn’t even paid him for his troubles yet. So really, he had gotten nothing for taking her out on a date, letting her stay the night, joining her friends, and now taking care of her and her stupid ankle. 

She needed to figure out what she owed him and pay him promptly. 

”Harry,” she started with a soft sigh, getting his attention. He looked away from her ankle and his piercing green eyes sent a shiver down her spine as they met hers. She sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth and broke their eye contact for a brief moment to gather her thoughts. ”Thank you. I really do-” 

”Don’t worry about it,” Harry immediately cut her off again. 

”Can you please just let me finish what I want to say for once?” Y/N huffed in frustration and lightly shoved his shoulder, making him lose his balance for a moment. Harry’s mouth fell open, as if he was about to protest and tell her to be quiet again, but instead, Y/N watched as his tongue poked out to lick his lips. He gave her a short nod. 

”M’sorry,” he murmured. 

”I just- I’m…” Y/N trailed off, unsure of what to actually say to express her gratitude for him without making things weird. She wanted him to know that she still wanted them to be friends when the whole plan was over. That she had somehow grown very fond of the relationship they were building. 

There was a huge possibility he did not feel the same way though. 

She did not want to assume anything and make him uncomfortable, making him feel like he had no say in the matter, especially not when she was pretty much stuck at his place for the night. ”I just- I just wanted to say that I really do appreciate everything you’ve done for me. You really didn’t have to do any of this, and I just want you to know that I’m very thankful for it all. I know you probably don't feel the same, but I’m happy you came tonight. You are a great friend - a great person.” 

Harry didn’t say anything at first, and when he eventually did Y/N found herself staring after him completely dumbfounded. 

”Right, well, I’m gonna go get ready for bed,” he told her awkwardly, and within a couple of seconds, Harry had disappeared into the small bathroom. The bundle of ice slipped off her foot and down to the floor, but Y/N didn’t pay it any attention. She was too busy trying to figure out what had made him walk away so abruptly.

The silent room was soon filled by the sounds of squeaking pipes, the running water from the bathroom sink struggling to flow through. 

Normally, she would worry that the whole building was going to flood over due to a leak from the old pipes. But Y/N’s mind was working overtime, thinking through every word she had just said, trying to figure out if she said anything bad. 

Maybe he didn’t like the fact that she had called him her friend? What if he didn’t think of them as friends? 

And what if when her plan was over he wouldn’t actually talk to her ever again?

She squeezed her eyes closed, trying to ignore her heavy heart, and sank deeper into the bed, hoping it would somehow swallow her whole. 

It had to be the tequila making her feel so strange about the whole thing. It had to be. Her plan was, in her opinion, actually working. There was no reason to start second-guessing everything. 

The goal of her plan was to make Reece jealous enough to finally ask her out.

The goal wasn’t to make a new friend. 

She had plenty of friends already. 

She’d be fine. 

As she repeated that mantra over and over again in her head, her body slowly started to relax and sleep was quickly looming over her. 

The door to the bathroom opened and Harry came out, tiptoeing around the flat to turn the lights off and get himself some water. It wasn’t until she felt the mattress dip and his warm body fall down next to her in the cramped bed that her eyes fluttered open.  

She had forgotten how small his bed actually was; how close they would be sharing it again. He tried his best to give her some space and allowed her to once again have all of the duvet. Both to create a barrier between them and to make sure she stayed warm throughout the night.  

Y/N turned to face him as best as she could, wincing a little as her foot ached with the movement. He had changed into one of his hoodies, the hood pulled up over his head to cover as much of himself as possible. His hair stuck out under the fabric and fell down over his forehead in a single beautiful curl. 

Before she could stop herself she reached over and twirled the lock of hair between her fingers, finally allowing herself to get a feel of his texture. It surprised her how soft it was, even though she could tell he hadn’t gotten it cut in a while. It felt brittle and dry as she let the strands flow through her touch. Her mind immediately went to thinking about different hair masks she could give to him, and hopefully bring his dry curls back to life. 

Harry stopped her, placing his hand over hers and slowly pulled it away from his hair. But he didn’t let it go. He kept her hand in his, resting them on top of his chest as he gingerly let his own fingers run between hers, playing delicately. 

For a moment, Y/N thought that he was asleep, unaware of what he was doing. As her eyes got more used to the dark around them though she saw that he was still wide awake. 

She could feel his heartbeat beneath their hands, slow and steady, and felt her own heart picking up. 

He was so close, yet, she found herself wanting to get closer. Her fingers itched to reach up again and smooth out the deep crinkle between his brows, easing whatever was on his mind. 

Much like the last time she had found herself sharing the cramped bed with him, the darkness made the situation less intimidating. Not having his intense gaze directly on her or the daylight reminding them of reality was reassuring. His fingers playing softly with hers were quickly lulling her right back to her sleep-dazed state. 

And maybe it was the intimacy and comfort of it all that made her confident enough to open her mouth again. 

Or maybe it was still just the tequila. 

”Is that your mum in the picture?” She asked him with a small whisper, not wanting to startle him too much or upset him. 

”It is, yeah,” he replied and inhaled deeply, his chest rising under their hands. 

”She’s very pretty,” Y/N told him and paused for a moment. ”You look a lot like her.” 

”Yeah,” he nodded. ”So I’ve been told.” 

Y/N kept her eyes on him, trying to figure out if she was crossing a line again by talking about his family. 

Then another picture popped up in the back of her mind, and she knew she was not going to be able to ignore it. He had mentioned it before and the reminder had sparked her curiosities right back to life. 

She swallowed nervously before speaking again. 

”The girl in the picture I liked… who is she?” Y/N felt bad for asking and bringing her up, but she had to know.

Because what if Harry was engaged to someone? If he was about to get married to someone else, forcing him to take her out on a date certainly made her already foolish plan seem even stupider, even if it was fake.

Harry let out another deep sigh, almost as if he had been expecting the question to come up. 

”Her name’s Tamara,” he told her and Y/N could feel his body tensing up next to her. 

“Is she your ex or…?” She asked hesitantly, waiting for any signs that he was annoyed. When he didn’t shut her down she quietly added; “I saw a ring.” 

“Yeah,” he mumbled and closed his eyes. “Ex-fiancée.” 

“What happened?” Y/N continued curiously. Harry kept his eyes closed and silence fell between them as the crinkle between his brows deepened. ”You know you can talk to me, right? I won’t tell anyone. I know that you don’t really like me all that mu-” 

”That’s not true,” Harry cut her off abruptly and opened his eyes again to look right at her. He still had her hand in his, unintentionally giving it a light squeeze. ”I just- I don’t really like to talk about it.” 

“Maybe you need to talk about it with someone?” She suggested softly. “Sometimes that helps.” 

“Maybe.” 

Another heavy silence followed after that, crowding the space between them. If she hadn’t seen him staring at the ceiling in deep thought, Y/N would’ve assumed he had fallen asleep again. She gave his hand a small squeeze, hoping it would give him some sort of comfort. “We met after I finished uni. At one of Patrick’s charity events... I thought she was the one.” 

“And she wasn’t?”

“Well, I’m here now aren’t I?” Harry scoffed bitterly, though he seemed to regret it when he noticed the small pout on her face. He pressed his lips together in a firm line, sighing. “She wasn’t.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because I realized she wasn’t who I thought she was,” he admitted and there was a sadness to his voice that she hadn’t heard before. ”Being with me was more about the status it brought her than being with me out of love.” The words leaving him made her heart ache for the small boy she had seen in the photo earlier. “And I caught her cheating on me with one of my co-workers.”  

“Oh, Harry,” she mumbled. ”I’m so sorry.” 

There was still so much she didn’t know about him, but from what little she did know, it was slowly becoming more clear to her why the grumpy man next to her was so reserved.

“It is what it is.” 

“Is that why you’re here?” 

“One of the reasons, yeah,” he admitted with a nod. “Just needed to get away from it all.” 

“So you’re here hiding?” Y/N asked, her mind spinning with all the new information he had just given her instead of the alcohol. 

“No one is really looking.” 

“I’m sure your mum misses you,” Y/N frowned sadly. 

“Who knows,” he shrugged it off with an empty laugh. 

“Have you talked to her since you left?” She wondered and continued when he didn’t reply. “Does she at least know you’re alive?” 

“She does,” he confirmed shortly, and it was all she needed to know he was done with the topic of their conversation. 

“I’m sorry,” she comforted softly and gave his hand another gentle squeeze. It surprised her that he was still keeping her hand in his, allowing himself to be so close to her. Maybe the tequila had gotten to him a lot more than she had first thought. ”I won’t ask more questions. I know it’s not very fun, but if you ever need someone to talk to- I’m here.” 

Harry hummed quietly and Y/N turned to face the ceiling again, focusing on the same dark spot she had the last time she spent the night. The angle of her arm on his chest, her hand in his, was straining and uncomfortable. 

Yet, she didn’t pull back. 

It was far too soothing to have his fingers linked around hers to let go. 

She would’ve fallen asleep like that if it hadn’t been for the fact that Harry suddenly spoke up again. 

”Do you really think Reece will make you happy?” 

The question made her heart drop instantly. When she turned to look at him again he was already looking at her. 

”I don’t- I-” she couldn’t find the right words to say, or rather, the right answer. She had spent so long daydreaming of being with the blonde hunk - she had never questioned it before. 

Because, of course, she’d be happy. 

Why wouldn’t she be? He was everything she wanted. He was good-looking, close to his family, charming and he made her laugh. There had never been any reason for her to doubt her feelings for him. Until now apparently. ”Maybe.” 

”You are too good for him,” Harry murmured quietly, his raspy voice making her skin tingle with goosebumps. 

Y/N tried her best to hide her disappointment when Harry let go of her hand, leaving her with an unsettling sense of emptiness. 

He adjusted his body, the mattress creaking beneath them, and as he eventually stilled he was on his side facing her, and somehow, even closer than before. 

Then, as she felt his warm breath fawn out over her face, her already foggy mind completely evaporated, leaving her unable to give her lungs the air they desperately needed to function. 

He was so close. So so close. 

And her body responded on its own as she lifted her chin and bumped her nose against his.

She couldn’t think. The whole night had been a roller-coaster. From Harry and Reece sizing each other up, to her hurting her ankle and telling Harry how much she appreciated him. Only to have him walk away and then come back to share parts of his life she hadn’t heard before. 

None of it made any sense. Nothing could’ve prepared her for the several turns the night had taken.  

And the only thing her useless brain could think of to blame it on was the tequila. 

Or actually, the only thing her useless brain could really think about was the small distance between her and Harry’s lips. 

When the hand that had been in hers not long ago brushed her cheek, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear, her heart decided it no longer had any room left in her chest. It sent an explosion of anticipation through her. 

Her eyes fell shut as she moved to face him, also laying on her side, ignoring the pain in her foot. She heard him swallow harshly when her hips pressed into his, and his nose bumped against hers again.

Suddenly, all of her senses were heightened to their fullest. She could hear her own heavy breathing, feel her own chest rising with every breath and the blood pumping through her veins, making her feel like her whole body was on fire. Her hand was back on his chest, his heartbeat throbbing steadily against her palm, perfectly in sync with her own. 

She lifted her head a little bit more, their warm breaths mixing as one as his upper lip brushed lightly against her mouth. 

All she had to do was tilt her head a little to the left and their lips would meet in an unexpected dance. 

It seemed harmless, but it would change everything. 

Whatever she decided to do it would undoubtedly take their agreement to a whole other level of complicated.

And it was a decision she couldn't think clearly about when his rough stubble scratched against her chin in the most irresistible way. 

But before she could make the choice to close the tiny gap between them; he made the choice for her. 

”We should go to sleep, Ducky.” 

And just like that the fire in her was extinguished. The anticipation simmering in her blood was drowned by six little words, leaving her cold and frozen. 

”Oh,” was all she could say as Harry pulled back and created another barrier between them. ”Right, yeah, of course.” 

She looked at him, trying to make sense of what the hell had just happened, but was left in a breathless mess. Harry refused to meet her gaze, once again keeping his focus straight ahead with a tense jaw. ”Uhm, good night then?” 

”Good night.” 

It had taken her weeks to finally see a crack in his tough shell, and judging by how cold his voice had just sounded, it had only taken a minute for the crack to be sealed shut. 

Y/N didn’t have a good night after that. 

.

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A/N:  As always, please leave a comment, like and share if you enjoyed it! It helps my motivation to get the next part out for you guys massively. I’m dying to know your thoughts on this part so PLEASE let me know. Your support means the world to ME! 

💏 TAGLIST: @annesauriol  @boomitsallie1 @caramello-styles @tenaciousperfectionunknown @perfectywrong​ @behindmygreyeyes @carolina-kiwi  @jessitpwk @sunshinemoonsposts​ @inlikea-coolway​

let me know if you want to be added&lt;3

[vexing-imogen]

Newfaire Knot

i.

Auggie eyes the pile of clothes that Charlie puts in his hands with apprehension. He doesn't wanna be ungrateful, but...

"Is something wrong, August?" Howard asks, adjusting his glasses.

"Well, no, but," He hesitates. "It's just so fancy."

Charlie pats his arm, smiling indulgently. "That is the point of this evening, Auggie."

He sighs, tries his best not to whine. "Do I have to wear the tie?"

They answer together. "Yes."

"The point of this evening's assignment is to blend in," Howard reminds him. "This kind of event requires a certain level of dress."

Auggie doesn't point out that their scars will make it pretty damn impossible for him and Arlo to blend in. They'd already had that conversation with Alexandra, and all she'd told them was to figure it out. "I don't know how to tie a tie," he protests.

"Get dressed," Charlie says, "and then Howard will help you with the tie."

Howard blinks. "I will?"

She smiles. "You will," she says, "because you have two working hands, and I need all the time I can get to finish my makeup."

The professor sighs. "Very well." He looks to Auggie. "You heard her," he says, gesturing to the water closet. "And do try not to dawdle."

=====

"-and then you're going to tuck the skinny end into the loop, like so."

Auggie copies the professor. "Like that?"

"Yes, perfect," Howard says, barely sparing him a glance. "And now all that's left is to tighten the knot."

Auggie squirms at the sensation, but forces a smile. "That's not so bad."

Howard claps him on the shoulder. "That's the spirit. Come along now."

Arlo is in the foyer with Charlie when they emerge, wearing a deep purple dress and long black gloves that go up past her elbows. She's wearing a lace veil over her eyes the same color as her gloves. He swallows hard. She's... Pretty doesn't even begin to cover it.

She lights up with a delighted gasp when she sees him. "Auggie," she says, rushing up to him, "you look so dashing."

He scratches the back of his neck, feeling the blush flood his cheeks. "Ah, thanks," he says. "You, uh...you look great."

She laughs even as he's kicking himself mentally. "Thank you, Auggie." She reaches up, giving him a small smile. "May I? Your tie is a little crooked."

"Yeah, of course," he says. He holds his breath as she straightens the tie with a practiced hand. Charlie catches his eye with a smirk as Arlo smooths his tie into place, her hand lingering on his chest just a moment too long.

"There," she says softly. "Perfect."

Alright, so maybe the tie isn't half bad.

ii.

Auggie walks Arlo home after their next assignment; more reconnaissance that requires him to wear a suit and tie, though nothing quite as fancy as last time. It's late late, the streets dark and deserted enough that the dark glasses Arlo wears to hide her eyes are tucked away in a pocket.

He's spacing out a bit, his head still a little fuzzy from the knock he took a couple hours back. He lets her fill the silence, content to just spend some time with her that isn't fraught with danger.

Eventually, he realizes that Arlo has stopped talking and is looking up at him expectantly. "Sorry, what was that?" he asks, wincing.

She smiles, and she almost looks nervous. "I asked if you'd like to have dinner with me sometime."

"Like a date?" he asks cautiously.

"Yes, Auggie," she confirms. "Like a date."

He's forming a response when thunder booms across the sky and the heavens open up. They both yelp from the unexpected downpour, and they run to take shelter under the nearest awning.

Neither of them have an umbrella, and the rain is coming down so hard they can barely see the other side of the street. "Looks like we're gonna be stuck here for a while," Auggie says, shivering.

Arlo nods, and he tries to focus on anything but the way her blouse has become completely see through or the way it clings to her chest.

"Auggie," she murmurs. And he could be mistaken, but he swears her gaze flickers to his lips.

"Yeah?"

Instead of saying anything more, she grabs him by the tie and pulls him down into a kiss. They part for just a moment, sharing breath as the rain pounds on the awning above them, just long enough for him to nod; to indicate that hell yeah, he's okay with this. And then he's kissing her again, really kissing her this time. One arm goes around her waist to hold her closer, his other hand tangling in her hair. She tastes sweet and fresh, a bit like the champagne that she'd convinced him to try earlier. He loses track of time kissing Arlo, and they only part again when a trolley rattles by, drenching them both even in their shelter.

The hand that was in her hair drops to join the other one at her waist so that he continues to hold her; not tight, just enough to keep her close. Her hands stay on his chest, one playing with his tie.

"You never did answer my question," she says after a long moment.

It takes a minute for his fried brain to remember what she's talking about. "Oh, yeah." He takes a deep breath, runs a hand through his sodden hair. "I'd love to go on a date with you. Whenever. Anytime you want."

"Oh good," she says with a twinkle in her eye. "That would have been rather awkward otherwise."

iii.

Auggie is a nervous wreck. He doesn't even remember the last time he was this nervous. Maybe back when he was first asking Arlo's folks for permission to court her. But that was months ago, and, well...

Tonight is important, okay?

They're walking arm-in-arm through the public gardens by the university, towards the spot that he and Charlie spent over an hour setting up earlier. Arlo is telling him about her latest conversation with Alexandra and Ezra; how they both feel she needs to transition to a...less public position at Candela.

"Are they asking you to be a Lightkeeper?" Auggie asks, unable to keep the note of hope out of his voice. He's seen too many circles torn apart lately; has heard too many stories of people just not coming home. And, as much as he loves her, he can admit that Arlo has a bit of a martyr complex. She'd rather sacrifice herself than let anyone else get hurt.

He'd rather she stayed alive.

"Not exactly," she says. "They seem rather undecided on if they want me doing research or training to become a Lightkeeper. Alexandra even floated the idea of me staying an investigator so I can stay with our circle, but only working behind the scenes. Which Ezra pointed out would be quite difficult, given we wouldn't always have a reliable means of communication."

The anxiety starts to bubble up in his stomach again as the lane that they need to turn down to get to his surprise comes into view. He stops abruptly, a sudden idea coming to him.

"Is everything alright, Auggie?" Arlo asks, immediately on the alert for trouble.

"Yeah, yeah, everything's fine," he assures her. He takes both of her hands in his. "You trust me, right?"

"Of course I do, darling."

"Okay." He starts to loosen his tie. "Take off your glasses for me?"

She complies, albeit a little uncertainly. He gets it. It is the middle of the day, and they're in a public place. And people like to lose their minds and accuse her of being a demon.

He moves behind her and gently places his tie over her eyes in a makeshift blindfold. "Is this okay?" he asks, and she nods. He ties it in place, making sure to check that it's not too tight and that he hasn't tangled any of her hair in it.

"What are you planning, August James?" she asks as he starts to lead her forward.

Our life together sits on the tip of his tongue. Her great-grandmother's ring is tucked securely in his pocket. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

She stops walking for a moment. "Well, yes, that's why I asked."

iv.

Her hands are everywhere.

Her hands are everywhere and his heart is still lodged somewhere in his throat and he can't focus because all he can think about is the fact that he almost lost her.

They haven't even been engaged for a week.

They'd gone on their most dangerous assignment in over a year tonight, back into the ruins of Oldfaire. Relatively speaking, it had gone better than the last time. He was alive, she was alive, they'd all emerged mostly unscathed. But.

There'd been a cave-in. They'd gotten stuck on opposite sides of it. And both she and Howard had been barely conscious when he and Charlie finally managed to break through.

He doesn't even realize he's crying until her hands are cradling his face, brushing away tears. "It's alright, my love," she whispers. "I'm alright."

He can still taste the dust on her lips as he kisses her. "I don't want to think about what could've happened if we weren't fast enough."

"Then don't," she murmurs, removing his tie and dropping it to the floor. Her hands are already working on unbuttoning his shirt when she asks, "Stay with me tonight?"

Auggie nods, pushing her jacket off her shoulders. "I'll stay as long as you want." Both of their shirts drop. "I'd stay forever if I could."

Her skirts join the growing pile of clothes on the floor. "Soon, darling," she promises, the metal of her engagement ring cold against his heated skin.

They've done this a few times now, but every moment Auggie gets to spend in Arlo's bed feels like a dream. He has to pinch himself sometimes, half convinced that this is all some grand delusion. She's always more than willing to help remind him that it's real.

She gasps his name as he trails kisses over her chest. One of her hands tangles in his hair, and he groans at the pull. He tries to descend lower, towards her belly button, but she stops him, pulls him back up to kiss her.

He goes willingly for the moment, but he has a plan for tonight. He wants to worship her. Wants to show her just how fucking grateful he is that she's alive.

He trails his fingers up her side, light enough to tickle. She laughs against his lips. "Don't tease," she breathes.

About that.

He rests his forehead against hers. "Do you trust me?"

"August." Her voice is stern, and so are her eyes, though she's still smiling.

"Don't move," he tells her, kissing her quick before he gets out of bed to search through their discarded clothing, feeling Arlo's curious gaze on him all the while. He returns after a minute, his tie in hand.

"Hands above your head," he instructs, though it definitely comes out sounding more like a question. Arlo studies him for a long moment before she does as he asks, crossing her arms at the wrist.

He ties the tie around her wrists, keeping it loose enough that she can slip out of it if she really wants to. "Is this okay?" he asks, eyeing the faint bruising on her shoulders and arms. Hurting her is the last thing he wants.

She wiggles into a more comfortable position, and then she smiles up at him. "I'm good. I'll let you know if I need a break."

"Okay good." He leans in to kiss her, long and slow. "Now, let me take care of you."

[litgwritersroom]

Hey guys! So my idea that I can’t get out of my head, can be wrote as you prefer but what if MC did leave instead of Meera? I know a lot of us players would have preferred to see that instead of how things turned out. I wanted to see what would be the aftermath of MC leaving because specially Suresh picking Arlo to make MC jealous how would he feel knowing MC left because he decided to go with someone else, or even Eddie… I’m curious. ☺️

I hope this inspire you guys in some way and thank you for all you do and if you do decide to answer this ❣️

look what you made me do

S5 | 2300+ words | @ellegreenwxy

MC is booted from the Villa in a 'shocking' turn of events. Time for some tearful hug's goodbye ... right?

“The girl I’m choosing to couple up with is…Meera.”

A gasp sounded from someone in the group but Hayden couldn’t quite pinpoint who it was. Quite frankly, she didn’t care. She wasn’t even surprised that she was leaving, she couldn’t imagine for the life of her why anyone else would be.

When Hayden had walked into the Villa that first day, she’d been hopeful. She’d honestly thought she might have had a chance at finding love again after having her heart shattered by her ex of nearly three years. Maybe it was a little silly of her to be so optimistic––it was reality television, after all, there was no guarantee she would even leave the Villa with her dignity intact––but she had been. 

Until she saw Suresh.

Laying eyes on her cheating ex-boyfriend when she was supposed to be entering her “summer of love” had felt like a slap to the face. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that she had finally put herself back together and there he was, ready to shatter her all over again. It wasn’t fair that she’d been forced to couple up with him on that first day and stay coupled up with him. It wasn’t fair that all of her embarrassing baggage with him had made everyone else not want to touch her with a ten-foot pole. 

Not a damn thing about it was fair, but that was her luck. That had always been her luck.

She felt eight sets of eyes on her as she stood there in front of the firepit. Alone.

Her phone buzzed in the pocket of her sparkling black dress and she pulled the device out, reading the text aloud to the rest of the group. “Hayden, your time on Love Island has come to an end. Please pack your things and say your goodbyes.”

Even though she’d woken up that morning somehow knowing today was her last day, Hayden had expected to feel…something. Anything, really. Instead, she felt absolutely nothing as she stood there, realization setting in that her time here was well and truly done. Finished. 

Nobody else seemed to quite believe it either, judging by the fact that no one had moved from their seats. Suresh looked furious, Dana appeared to be devastated, and Finn, Eddie, and Kat just looked shocked. It was almost eerily quiet, nothing but the crackling of the firepit to fill the empty air.

“What the hell, Alfie?”

Finally, Suresh’s voice rang out, loud and clear as he got to his feet, looking down at Alfie with nothing but fury flickering in his green eyes. She watched as Alfie started to speak but the words were tumbling out of her mouth before she could stop them.

“Oh, that’s fucking rich, Suresh.” 

His head whipped around, so quickly she thought he might have hurt his neck. “Hayden––”

“I don’t want to hear shit from you, okay? You had every damn chance to pick me and you didn’t, so why the hell are you punishing Alfie for pursuing the first genuine connection he’s had in the Villa?” she demanded, and he just looked at her, frozen where he stood. But she didn’t stop. 

“I can’t believe I honestly thought you were capable of showing me that you aren’t a total and complete ass. I seriously considered giving you another chance, but no! You decided you wanted to play mind games and pick Arlo to make me jealous. So, not only are you playing me but you’re using another girl to do it.”

He grew paler and paler with every word that left her lips, looking as stunned as if she had reached over and slapped him as hard as she could. 

It hadn’t been hard to work out what he was doing. Suresh had always liked to think he was playing chess while everyone else was playing checkers, but Hayden had been with him long enough that she could spot when he was playing games from a mile away. This time was certainly no different. 

“Damn, she told you Suresh,” she heard Eddie speak up from where he was still sitting next to Dana, sounding way too smug for her liking. She was already on a roll, may as well keep going…

“Oh, don’t even get me started on you, Eddie.” Hayden turned to look at him, unable to squash the pride she felt when he went nearly as pale as Suresh had gotten, his eyes wide as he took her in.

“You have been sticking your nose into my business ever since I got here. Telling every damn person in this Villa about who I’m snogging, who I’m flirting with––hell, I cannot even talk to someone without you running and tattling to everyone about what I’m doing. It’s like we’re in primary school!”

She heard Alfie stifle a laugh, coughing into his fist in a vain attempt to mask the sound. 

“Honestly, Eddie, you’re a manipulative snake and I feel bad for Dana that she has to be in a couple with you. The way you like to pretend you’re looking out for everyone, when actually you’re just stirring the pot and trying to make everyone else look bad? Trying to make me look bad? You know what, I’m glad that I’m leaving so I don’t have to deal with it anymore.”

With that, she turned on her heels and walked back to the Villa to collect her things.

A few moments later, she heard footsteps on the decking but she didn’t bother turning around to see who was coming after her. She simply made her way upstairs to the bedroom, finding her cupboard and dragging her things out of it. She didn’t bother folding anything up nicely, knowing she’d dump it all in the laundry as soon as she was back home.

Home.

God, she hadn’t thought she would miss it as much as she had. After things ended between her and Suresh, it had been hard to go back to her old life, as dramatic as that sounded. But it had. Heartbreak made your head all fuzzy, made it hard to remember the person you’d been before you had let someone in. She’d become someone different, and it hadn’t felt right to just try and be the person she’d used to be. 

So, she’d moved away from Edinburgh. Found a flat in London, made new friends, got a typical post-breakup haircut. It hadn’t felt like home, though. What she’d built with Suresh had been a home, as much as it pained her to admit that, but London had been more of an…escape. But now, standing at her bedside, throwing her clothes into the sleek metal suitcase, she couldn’t help but think of it as home. 

Maybe this had been what she’d always needed, a way to finally sever the ties that bound her to the life she’d had before. “Hayden…”

Dana’s voice was soft, a little wobbly like she was fighting back the urge to cry. Hayden felt a gentle hand on her arm and she managed a small smile. “I’m okay Dana, honestly,” she assured her, and it was the truth. She wasn’t sad to be leaving. If anything, she was relieved.

“Maybe if you’d put on your grafting boots, you wouldn’t be hitting the road so soon,” Kat said, perching herself on the edge of the bed.

Hayden rolled her eyes as she bunched up a T-shirt and tossed it in. “Listen Kat, I’m going to give you some tough love because out of everyone here, I think you need it most. Finn is a flirt. Choose to believe it or not, that’s your choice. But if tonight showed you anything, it’s that he’s not all in the way that you are.” Kat opened her mouth to speak but Hayden put a hand up to stop her. 

“And before you go off on some tangent about how delusional I am or how I sound like I’m full of shit, how about you hop off your fucking high horse and gain some perspective? You and Finn may have chemistry, but you also clash. You’re too possessive and he’s too flighty. I couldn’t count on both hands the amount of times he’s flirted with me since coupling up with you. So, I would think long and hard about whether or not you want to dump all of your eggs in his basket before you get hurt.”

Kat looked gobsmacked, her mouth hanging open like she was planning on using it to try and catch flies. Finally, she shook her head and hopped up off of the bed. “Whatever babes, your opinion doesn’t matter since you’re leaving anyways,” she said before she sashayed out of the room, leaving Hayden and Dana alone.

The two girls shared a look, and Hayden found herself unable to stifle the giggles that escaped her. “God, good luck with her, girl,” she told Dana, reaching for a bikini to stuff into the suitcase. 

Dana started to say something, although someone in the doorway must have caught her eye, Hayden thought, because she clenched her jaw, her posture going a bit rigid. When Hayden turned and saw who was standing there, she thought the reaction was pretty damn warranted. 

“Suresh,” she said a little cooly, and her ex had the nerve to look sheepish.

“Can we talk Hay? Please?” he asked, and she turned to look at Dana who simply nodded and left the room, leaving the two of them alone.

“What do you want, Suresh?” Hayden asked, folding her arms over her chest. Maybe it made her look a little defensive, but she had every reason to be when he was around. This was the man who had shattered her like some piece of fine china, God forbid she didn’t welcome him with open arms.

“I thought Alfie was going to pick you,” he admitted, stepping further into the room.

“Alfie and I are just friends. He and Meera actually have the potential to be something,” Hayden said, turning her attention back to packing. “Besides, with you in here, I’m too ‘complicated.’” The words had stung a little when she’d first heard them, but she’d learned to let them roll off of her. Even if everyone in the Villa thought she was defined by her ex-boyfriend, she wouldn’t allow herself to be.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and she bit her lip, throwing another bikini into her suitcase.

“Don’t be. I’m ready to leave,” she admitted, gently shrugging her shoulders. 

“Because of me?”

Hayden closed her eyes for a brief moment, forcing herself to take a deep breath, before she shut her suitcase and turned to face him. “Do you know what you did to me?” she asked, and he shifted.

“I cheated––”

“No,” she interrupted. “Do you know what you did to me?” When he didn’t say anything, she continued on. “You broke me, Suresh. You didn’t just break my heart, but you broke me. I couldn’t even live in the same country as you after what happened. I had to move to a completely different city to try and put myself back together.

“I was going to marry you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you because you were it for me. You were the one. I would have quit my job. I would have moved across the globe to be with you, that was how much I fucking loved you. But I wasn’t enough for you.” He started to argue with her but she pushed ahead, raising her voice slightly. 

“If I had been enough for you, you wouldn’t have done what you did. You always want more than what you have. You’re never going to find someone who can satisfy you and I understand that now. I’m tired of letting myself feel like shit because you got greedy.”

He looked hurt, like he couldn’t believe she would say those things to him. But she was tired of cowering and acting like she was just going to lay down and take whatever the world threw at her. She was done being the meek little girl who let men break her apart. She deserved better than that. 

And being in a place like this? Where her ex was practically attached to her hip? Scaring people away from getting to know her? She’d come here to get away from him, not to have him continue to control her life. So if that meant leaving without finding what she’d come here for, that was fine.

At least she was leaving, knowing she was worth a hell of a lot more than everyone had led her to believe. That was more than she’d had before.

“Bye, Suresh,” she said, pulling her suitcase off of the bed before brushing past him and down the stairs.

The rest of the Islanders were gathered outside the front door of the Villa, ready to send her off. She hugged Dana and Alfie and exchanged pleasantries with Arlo, Finn, and Meera. Kat and Eddie looked as if they’d rather die than talk to her which was perfectly fine. Suresh was nowhere to be seen, probably still reeling from the conversation they’d just had. She didn’t say anything––she doubted there was anything left for her to say––so she simply walked down the drive, dragging her suitcase behind her.

The last time a chapter of her life had closed, she’d been heartbroken. She’d thought that there was no way she could move on and be whole again. And now here she was, closing another chapter, this time with the knowledge that she was coming out on the other side. Despite all of the stupid drama and her past threatening to drag her back down, she was stronger than it all.

That was something to be proud of.

[thesweetnessofsalt]

Process Blog #4: How I Make TSOS!

Just in time for Webcomic Day, it's a real actual process blog! We're going to get into the nitty-gritty of how I make pages of The Sweetness of Salt.

Let's go! :D

This blog was originally written for 1$+ TSOS Supporters and can also be read here on Ko-fi - free to everyone!

Chapter 3 Pages 29 - 32 (ALT text for pages here)

Leah's conversation on the balcony with Arlo is a pretty self contained scene in four pages, and will make a good case study for this blog. There is a full video timelapse at the very end, but I will be laying out my process for The Sweetness of Salt in detail here first!

Working From A Script

Since I'm the only person who works on TSOS, I keep my script pretty loose. I have a good idea now of how much of my writing translates into how many pages, and will sometimes mark significant page turns in the script or describe panel layouts if they occur to me while scripting. However, I generally don't know how I'll lay out the panels until I actually sit down with some paper.

My script mostly serves as an outline; dialogue, blocking, or entire segments can change when I put the characters through it on the page. Still, it's important to follow the script in order keep track of pace and continuity.

Here is the original script for this scene:

Script Excerpt - Chapter 3 (ALT text for script image here)

Compare the script to the text on the actual pages, and there are some big differences! That's pretty typical of my workflow for TSOS. There's an ever growing gap between the day I worked on the script and the day I actually make the pages. By the time I sit down and draw, the characters and story have developed even more in my mind, and there's lots of time for me to experiment and be inspired. (This is definitely a luxury particular to a long running webcomic, though.)

In this particular case, I felt like the conversation in the script wasn't familiar enough for their relationship, and I also wanted to start establishing context for Sha's conundrum a bit sooner than originally planned. 

You could apply these to just about all the script changes I make: they're almost always done to re-emphasize character and story beats. And sometimes the changes are so I could add a joke. Or both!

Thumbnailing

You've heard me complaining about it; you've probably heard me express euphoric bliss about it, too. Thumbnailing is when words become comics, and it's hard!! But it's also the most rewarding part for me, and it's when TSOS actually becomes real. 

There are times when I can thumbnail right from my brain, and  times when every single comic I own is out on the floor for inspiration. I need to be in the right headspace to thumbnail - focused enough to take everything I need to into consideration, but loose enough to visualize the story.

Here's a method that's worked for me lately: by setting aside certain number of pages and just writing out what happens per page, I get a good sense of pacing without having to draw anything yet. It's a good way to get the juices flowing!

It's often, though not always, easier to thumbnail on paper, especially for the early stages. I'm much less precious about my drawings on paper, and feel more comfortable trying several iterations of a page than I am with digital drawing. The undo button and zoom button are enemies of thumbnails!

My thumbnails do ultimately get finalized in Clip Studio Paint, though - I have a template for this tailored to my workflow. The page layouts are in the middle, and are paired the same way they are on Webtoon (where pages post in pairs and need to be harmonious). There's also room on each side for the text/notes, though as you can see I don't always write something if I plan to follow the script.

Thumbnails for Pages 28 - 33 (I'm sorry but I'm not ALT texting this chicken scratch)

When I know I need to work on my thumbnails, I try to fill that week with lots of sketching and a healthy reading diet - including my own script and comic! You want a warm hand and a brain full of comics for thumbnailing, but also lots of energy for your own story.

Scott McCloud's books are, as always, indispensable (Understanding Comics for general theory, Making Comics for more specific techniques), but these guides from Hannah Vardit have also been really helpful in getting my brain around thumbnailing.

Page 31 will be our example page moving forward, so here is that thumbnail in full:

Page 31 Thumbnail

LOL - thumbnail Arlo is my favorite Arlo. 

Though not included here on Page 31, I do generally jot down balloons in my thumbnails, too, which you can see in the other thumbnails. It's good to account for your text early!

I keep these drawings super simple - they're just an indication of blocking and expression. I work more on character acting in the pencil stage.

Tools of the Trade

Alright, now we're getting into the nitty gritty!

One note before we proceed: TSOS is NOT print ready, and nothing about my process should be considered print ready or as advice for print readiness. This is just what's worked well for my webcomic, for the sake of consistency and mobile/web versatility. 

Program: Clip Studio Paint EX

Working Canvas Properties: 2407 x 3675px 350 dpi (Sized down to 940px wide for web, Margins approximately 100 px)

Dialogue Font: Soapy Hands by Sara Linsley (15 pt with few exceptions)

Favorite Pencil: Gritty's Pencil from Frenden's mega pack

Favorite Inker: Real G-Pen (CSP Default)

Character Modeler: MagicPoser for iPad

Cottage Model: floorplancreator.net (Browser app - even works on iPad! Free + simple to use)

I also use Windows Sticky Notes keep track of things like line weights, layer properties, or methods for things that get rendered frequently, such as Sha's sweater. 

"Chapter 3 Style Guide" (ALT text here)

Roughing + Penciling

Before I start drawing, I make the panel borders and place all of the text.

I tend to fuss with my text for a long time, getting the line breaks exactly where I want them, and reading it out loud to make sure the page flow works. Balloons usually come later, once the art is done or mostly done and I can place the tails correctly. For now, the text is enough of a placeholder!

Everyone has their own rules when it comes to lettering, but I look to The Essential Guide to Comic Book Lettering as much as possible for general lettering conventions. It's the best resource out there for a reason, and I'm glad I have a physical copy to reference while I work.

Page 31 Rough Blocking + Lettering

If I need to, I will take references from my model of the cottage or MagicPoser. For this scene, the balcony was simple enough to draw from imagination. Still, I studied its one and only appearance here in Chapter 2 Page 29 -

- as well as my model. I use floorplancreator.net - here is the floor plan for the second floor of the cottage:

And here is a 3D view. Neat, right? It took some time to set up, but it was time well spent. Even if I don't screenshot a reference, I'm using it to help visualize backgrounds and blocking.

I also use my own character assets - essentially just a file with various lineart of character faces saved from previous pages.  I like to pencil from scratch if I have the time, but sometimes I just need to get a page out quickly. I'll drop these in and use them as an undersketch to speed things along.

My collection of 3/4 Facial Assets for Leah and Sha

For Arlo, I almost always sketch on top of a reference, and will reuse his lineart, too. I love him, but I'm not an expert frog illustrator.

With my references assembled, I can start sketching and get everything locked in. This was a page I needed to complete quickly, so I structured shots that could use the same background angle and made sure Leah + Arlo's positioning was consistent and easy to follow. 

Big differences between my thumbnails and final layout are often due to continuity adjustments like that. Important stuff!

Page 31 Pencils

I'm afraid I don't have much else to say about this part - if the thumbnails are where the story becomes a comic, this is where the comic becomes art. I get to be my most expressive and make these characters and places come alive. It's the drawing part, you know? Well, except for that other drawing part.

Inking

I tend to be a rough penciller, letting my inks do the heavy lifting drawing-wise. I suppose 'linearting' might be a better descriptor, because I don't ink with a great deal of toning, black shadows, or even line weights. TSOS is fully colored and rendered, so I tend to keep the inks simple. That's kind of just the style I've built for this comic. 

Background inks always come first, though. It's far easier to resize a character to the background than vice versa. This also encourages me to draw the entire background behind the character, so that art can be reused later. (You should also be finishing the art behind your balloons, by the way!)

Page 31 Lineart

Color + Rendering

Backgrounds come first again! I really do try to keep these as simple as possible, so they're easily replicated and don't suck up all my time. UNLESS: the backgrounds are especially important to the page, like an establishing shot. The overhead balcony shot on Page 30 took a lot longer than these, but with the new location established, I could let these pages be more about Leah's conversation and gestures.

This balancing act dictates my entire comic page process. Whichever element is most important to this page - the character acting, the environment, the action, etc - is the element that gets the most of my time, and I'll actively reduce effort in less important areas. It's good for time management, yes, but it also keeps the story focused!

Page 31 Flat Character Color > Rendered Character > Full Color Page

Each character gets filled in with white so their colors can be clipped to the layers above. Again, colors are pretty simple - it's more about the mood lighting here. MagicPoser lets you manipulate lighting, so sometimes I like to go a little ham with the rendering. It's one of my favorite ways to give a scene some 'oomf'.

Typical Layer Hierarchy for Characters (These are normally never labeled. I did that because I love you)

The MVP in all of this is the Erase Along Edge tool. It makes coloring so fast, and when I first adopted it, it cut my process time in half. 

The link will take you to its listing on the CSP asset store, which has detailed instructions for how to use it. Once you figure it out, you can set other brushes to erase along the edge, or even to color within an edge! Neat stuff. I especially like it when I need to color many small background elements.

Finishing and Lettering

A long time ago, TSOS's balloons were very fussy, tedious, hand-drawn squovals. When I made revisions to Chapter 1+2, the bulk of it was just re-lettering it all to something simple and consistent.

I've only just recently started experimenting with the joined balloons you see on this page, so I've got a lot to learn and a lot to try out. There are a couple of things I keep in mind for legibility, like giving the letters lots of room inside the balloon's edge. Clarity is way more important than being fancy.

Curve Balloon tool > place four points only

Manipulate points for symmetry, fit

Add tail

Done!

Since I placed my text early and kept adjusting it along the way, I don't have to worry about my balloons having enough room or looking nice with the art. I can just click my lil points and be on my way!

Page 31 Finished Page

Still a few finishing touches left: the whooshes, the eye shines, and of course, the sparkles. What's left to say? This is objectively the best part.

Wrapping It Up

Whoo, another comic page down! Excluding the time spent thumbnailing, pages take me about 8-10 hours to make. Ideally, I do this across two days, with inking one and coloring the next. 

Here is the full video timelapse of the page! Click through the video to check out the description, where I've timestamped the whole process.

The timestamps on this one definitely made me laugh - I jump around a lot more than the ideal, linear process described in this blog. You can tell I struggled with the lineart on this one, because I keep having to come back to it. But there's always something else to work on - I try not to let myself get stuck in one spot for too long.

There you have it! Those are all my trade secrets. Just over 2k words, and I don't think I can add anything more. But if you want to know anything else or have any questions, you can leave them here and I'll add them to the next blog!

Thanks for reading!

This blog was originally written for 1$+ TSOS Supporters and can also be read here on Ko-fi - free to everyone. Become a 1$+ supporter and you get early access to all of my comic pages and process blogs!

[halfpintpeach]

My Masterpost

Hi hello welcome! Here's a masterpost of my AO3 works and Tumblr Tags :)

Current Ongoing:

Glacial - (Andriel, Rate T) Apocalyptic AU set in an ice age. Lots of cuddling (just for the warmth and shared body heat of course)

Faerie - (Andriel, Rated M) Fantasy AU, Andrew's best friend is a sentient plant

Game of Survival - (Kevin POV, Rated T) established secret relationship Andreil, aged up Andreil, big brother Neil (but he's also a dick)

New Beginnings - (Andreil, Rated G) stardew valley AU based off of my twitter thread!

All my series and one shots and tumblr tags are below the cut!

Professor Neil series:

An AU series where pre Palmetto, Neil was caught by his father and ended up loosing a leg. He is now a Math and Linguistic Professor and just so happens to be married to professional exy player Andrew Minyard.

Necessary Losses - (Andreil, Rated T, 9.7k) Neil bullys Kevin, Neil and his grad students go to an Exy game, Neil's mobility support dog is named Duke and she's everything to me thank youuuu

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day - (Andriel, Rated G, 3.6k) Neil has a rough day at work, loving husband Andrew stops by

It's Alright, It's Okay series:

A collection of post canon fluff pieces

Soft Mornings (Gray Skies) - (Andreil, Rated M, 1.4k) lazy mornings, cuddles, implied smut at the end

My Home Will Never Be A Place - (Andreil, Rated G, 3k) Andrew POV, soft boys

Take This Heart, Put Yourself In It - (Andreil, Rated T, 2.9k) Andrew's birthday, Neil surprises him, Matt and Andrew are roommates

Petrichor - (Andreil, Rated G, 1.8k) rainy days, Neil loves the rain

Arlo Minyard-Josten series:

In collaboration with @prince-peachie, Arlo is Andrew and Neil's adopted son.

Can You Hold Me - (Andreil, Rated G, 1.1k) Toddlers are heavy, idiots in love, Andreil are the best parents

Arlo and the Baseball Surprise - (Andreil, Rated G, 1.4k) Arlo is a prankster, Andrew has no sympathy

One Shots (updated with most recent at the top):

Sports, Balls - (Andreil, Rated E, 9.4k) Absolute filth. Background Minyard-Josten Rivalry.

Rough Draft - (Andriel, Rated M, 12k) 5+1 of the professional years Andrew and Neil aren't on the same team and the one time they finally make it

To Run - (Andriel, Rated T, 1.5k) vent fic about anxiety and panic attacks, Neil runs but always calls Andrew

Hey, Pumpkin - (Andreil, Rated G, 4.3k) Andrew gets arrested when fans spot him driving around known rival Neil's car. Nevermind that they live together and are dating

Aquascape - (Andreil, Rated G, 2k) Mermay 2023, Andrew and Neil are the size of clown fish.

Think With Your Head - (Andreil, Rated E, 9.6k) Andrew has a wet dream missing Neil

Cruel Summer - (Andreil, Rated T, 3k) AFTG Mixtape 2023, based on a Taylor Swift song, sneaking out, secret relationships

Fireside - (Andreil, Rated G, 4.7k) The Foxes take a winter vacation

Gorgeous - (Andreil, Rated M, 6.7k) 5+1 of others finding out Neil's pet name for Andrew, implied sexual content, POV alternates

Tearing My Seams, Lucid Reality - (Andreil, Rated E, 7.4k) SMUT, bottom Andrew, use of pet names, let Andrew be worshipped

Memento Mori - (pre-Andreil, Rated T, 4.2k) Neil is a grim reaper and Andrew accidenly stumbles upon him taking a soul

Covenant - (Andrew & Aaron, Rated G, 1.4k) Aaron is the first to reach out, and Andrew is the last to let go

What A Feeling - (Kevin & Andrew, Rated G, 900) Andrew and Kevin talk post Kevin's graduation

WIP Wednesday Tags:

ALL AFTG WIP Wednesday asks - what it says on the tin

ALL wips - I am so so sorry if you click this, it's a mess

Dragons AU - Andrew is a dragon shifter and Neil is a witch

Rivalry Same Team - Andreil secretly together and percieved as rivals, Andrew joins Neil's team

ASSassins - that one post about assassins trying to bone and just pulling more and more conealed weapons off of themselves

Snow White AU - vaguely Snow White inspired, no dwarves though I'm sorry

Arranged Marriage - historical fantasy AU, falling in love

Tattoo Shop/Flower Shop AU (Renison) - Tattoo Artist Allison and florist Renee

Ice Age - A glacial period apocalypse where everyone is living in another ice age

Hades and Persephone AU - exactly what it sounds like!

MerNeil - Andrew is a painter who falls into the ocean and is saved by a merman

Tutor Neil - Professor Neil prequel :) Math tutor Neil, getting together, pining, service dogs!

The Tunnel - AFTG supernatural beings AU with some provate school aspects

Teacher/Actor - Andrew is an English teacher and Neil is an A-List actor

[itookyoudown]

Do you think Raylan is more like Arlo or Frances? Obviously we don't know much about Frances, but just from your personal ideas/headcannons about her, and what we know about Arlo, who do you think Raylan takes after more?

thank you for this ask justie! i need you to know i've been noodling it over and trying to gather up all my thoughts and feelings because i have A LOT and this is such a complicated idea. i've tried to be as coherent and thoughtful as possible, but this is mostly just me rambling and slowly piecing my thoughts together.

going to preface this by saying that because we know so little about Frances' character (canon can't even decide her death date jfc) most of my interpretation of who Frances was is fanon and heavily based on chatter with @sublightsleeper

anyways. he's more like Arlo than Frances.

yes i hate it too but it's true (to me) 😩

since the bulk of the story is told from Raylan's POV, we know who Arlo is from the get-go and understand he's a piece of shit despite Helen's excuses and attempts to get Raylan and Arlo to reconcile. but during Arlo's inclusion in the show, we do get a few hints here and there of what Arlo's like when his mask is on: he's a charmer.

i think in his younger years Arlo was a real looker and knew how to weaponize it. he can be friendly and even generous or kindly when/if it suits him but he's just a snake in the grass. i'd say Raylan gets his charm from Arlo as much as he gets that anger. he learned at Arlo's knee how to hide his real emotions in order to get what he wants. and how to use both flattery + intimidation to manipulate people into behaving in a way that benefits him best. Raylan, I feel, is truly Arlo's son even if he chose the lawmen side of the line rather than the outlaw side.

and i think Raylan inherently knows this and that fuels Raylan's anger all the more.

is Raylan a mirror image of Arlo? no, never. but at their cores, i think they're tragically similar even though Raylan consciously makes choices that ensure he's NOT acting like Arlo. mostly because Raylan's put himself into a situation where he avoided becoming exactly like Arlo. AKA he left Harlan. because i do genuinely believe that if Raylan had stayed in Harlan he would have ended up a mirror of Arlo. he would have ended up just as bitter and miserable and angry, there would be no leash on that anger and he'd have lashed out to those nearest and dearest to him.

i think he would have become what Arlo became: an abused person who abuses others.

as for Frances…

we know from canon that Frances was a good cook. she kept a garden. she taught Raylan how to shoot. that she openly shamed a bunch of thugs for having bad manners. we also know that she was disrespected and Arlo escalated things into violence, but she put aside pride and called for peace instead. that she made the arrangements to end the family feud.

i think she was very used to cleaning up Arlo's messes, both at home and in business, and got very good at being the designated peacemaker.

but i don't think Frances was charming. or charismatic. i don't even like to think she was attractive. but i do think she understood what soft power was and knew how to use it alongside old-fashioned gentility to influence the people around her. and tbh considering she was a poor woman in the rural south that might have realistically felt like her only weapon and defense in life. we know she knew how to shoot, but we never hear that she fought back against Arlo or tried to defend Raylan. in fact, we know she left Raylan alone with Arlo when the abuse got real bad. she might have left, but she always returned.

from her relationship with Arlo, i think we can infer that Frances was an exceptionally kind and gracious and empathetic woman…and that's what made her vulnerable, that's why she stayed with Arlo and how he even managed to charm her into marrying him in the first place.

i believe she had a soft core and that's why i don't think Raylan is most like her.

because while Raylan can be tender, he's not soft. he can choose kindness but it's not his first instinct. he'll take a peaceful route but he doesn't feel bad about going to war. he's only empathic when he sees himself in another person (you need to only compare how Raylan treats Loretta VS Roz to see how this plays out). and while he's susceptible to pretty women and wants to be their savior, he's not incapable of saying NO and cutting them off. look at how he emotionally shuts out Ava in the later seasons and early seasons we even see it in his interactions with Helen. Raylan is capable of establishing boundaries and even dividing people into a "good" or "bad" box. and i don't think that's something Frances would have ever done. too much heart to do it.

so, yeah, overall i think Raylan takes more after Arlo when you get right down to it. but i do think some of Frances rubbed off on Raylan.

and even more than that…hm this idea is very difficult to put into words. but i feel like Raylan got some of the worst of Arlo but also some of the best of Frances. and somehow it all evened out in the end.

it made Raylan into a man that will live to make the heroic choice rather than dying the hero's death.